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1
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:22,917
That shit is disgusting, man.
I don't know how you drink it.
2
00:01:23,001 --> 00:01:25,128
Yum.
3
00:01:25,211 --> 00:01:28,089
If I could tell five-year-old me
that one day he'd be able to get drunk
4
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:31,384
off the liquid equivalent
of Werther's Originals for $5.98 a bottle,
5
00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:34,345
he'd be fucking psyched.
6
00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:38,599
Or, actually, really confused
about what drunk means.
7
00:01:38,683 --> 00:01:40,268
Lucky you.
8
00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:43,187
Five-year-old me knew
exactly what being drunk meant.
9
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:51,570
-Want a nibble?
-Nah, man. I-- I gotta work.
10
00:01:51,655 --> 00:01:53,114
So?
11
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:55,158
Ah, my manager's up my ass, you know?
12
00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:56,826
He's gonna know I'm high
the second he sees me.
13
00:01:56,910 --> 00:01:58,286
You didn't listen to me, man.
14
00:01:58,369 --> 00:02:01,122
I told you, you gotta show up high
on your first day, man.
15
00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:03,082
That way they think
that's who you are.
16
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,126
But no, you had to go
and make a good impression,
17
00:02:05,209 --> 00:02:06,753
get off on the right foot.
18
00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:08,171
Now, you're screwed.
19
00:02:10,715 --> 00:02:12,759
Can't let other people
define you, man.
20
00:02:13,718 --> 00:02:15,469
When are you getting
the boot off your truck?
21
00:02:16,846 --> 00:02:18,682
After I get my bike out of impound.
22
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,519
Thanks for the ride.
23
00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:30,401
Boom!
24
00:02:36,074 --> 00:02:38,326
Mmm! Hey, um, Joel?
25
00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:41,412
-Me?
-Sorry, did I get that wrong?
26
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,664
I thought it was Joel.
27
00:02:42,747 --> 00:02:45,667
I saw it on your mailbox,
uh, which is overflowing.
28
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:49,253
I just think you might wanna
take care of that before Piscatella sees.
29
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:52,590
Keep things orderly and in order!
30
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:59,097
-Uh, what's your, uh, first name?
-Baxter.
31
00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:03,434
Your parents
named you Baxter Bayley?
32
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,144
That sounds like a cartoon dog name.
33
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:07,981
My dad's really into dogs,
actually, so...
34
00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:09,690
Uh, it's weird.
35
00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:13,194
-Yeah.
-Here's the thing, Baxter Bayley, uh...
36
00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:16,114
I don't really like to pay too much
attention to anything around here,
37
00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:19,700
especially if it requires me
to do something as a result.
38
00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:22,161
So, uh, if you're gonna
point something out to me,
39
00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:25,999
it should be something awesome,
like cake or pie in the break room.
40
00:03:26,082 --> 00:03:28,667
Yeah. Got it, Joel.
41
00:03:28,752 --> 00:03:30,879
Uh... it's, uh... Luschek.
42
00:03:30,962 --> 00:03:32,671
Sorry.
43
00:03:32,756 --> 00:03:36,425
Look, I just... I really think
you need to deal with your letters.
44
00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,974
-What the hell?
-Told you.
45
00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:12,586
Oh!
46
00:04:14,130 --> 00:04:15,631
"Caputo's dingleberries"?
47
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:16,841
I gotta go.
48
00:04:17,801 --> 00:04:20,386
Hmm? Okay.
49
00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:23,472
Well, I will let you know
if I see cake or pie.
50
00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:26,142
Great.
51
00:04:27,018 --> 00:04:28,770
-Thanks.
-Have fun.
52
00:04:30,939 --> 00:04:33,566
Oh, hey, morning, sugar.
53
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:35,234
--Inmate.
54
00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:37,611
Do I smell butterscotch?
55
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,781
Ah.
56
00:04:39,864 --> 00:04:41,825
Do I look like my 92-year-old nana?
57
00:04:41,908 --> 00:04:44,285
Ooh, boy. Somebody's
in a mood this morning.
58
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:45,870
So, what have you got there?
59
00:04:46,955 --> 00:04:48,622
-Fan mail.
-Ah! Oh, wait.
60
00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:50,083
All right, little advice.
61
00:04:50,166 --> 00:04:52,001
You wanna get yourself
a signature stamp,
62
00:04:52,085 --> 00:04:53,127
save you hours.
63
00:04:53,211 --> 00:04:55,088
Aren't you full of time-saving tips?
64
00:04:55,171 --> 00:04:58,091
Mmm. So, you got yourself
an overzealous pen pal?
65
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:01,635
Uh... former inmate here.
66
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:04,305
And I thought I was special.
67
00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,475
Wasn't like that.
68
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:12,021
That must've taken
a lot of courage.
69
00:05:12,105 --> 00:05:15,649
Remember, you have
a community that serves you.
70
00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,986
Thank you for your honesty today.
71
00:05:20,404 --> 00:05:22,531
Now, before
I distribute today's chips,
72
00:05:22,615 --> 00:05:24,742
join me in the Serenity Prayer.
73
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:30,874
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
74
00:05:30,957 --> 00:05:34,127
the courage to change
the things I can,
75
00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:37,380
and the wisdom to know the difference.
76
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:38,506
Okay.
77
00:05:39,423 --> 00:05:42,760
So it looks like I only have
one chip to celebrate today,
78
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:43,970
and it's a goody.
79
00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:46,014
Nichols.
80
00:05:47,015 --> 00:05:48,432
Care to come up here?
81
00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:55,481
- Three years. Well done.
- Thank you.
82
00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:02,488
Hey! Well, shit, man,
83
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:05,033
if I knew you guys were gonna clap,
I would've brought my tap shoes.
84
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:07,618
Uh, you know, to be honest,
85
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,453
I never really believed in this bullshit
before, you know?
86
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,497
I'd go to rehab
and no one told me
87
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:13,166
that you guys give it away
for free in here.
88
00:06:13,249 --> 00:06:15,626
I should've just gotten locked up,
like, a decade ago,
89
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,586
saved my mom a suitcase of cash.
90
00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:20,798
Although, I do miss the cigarettes.
91
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,300
--Aw.
92
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:25,386
- Really miss the cigarettes.
- Damn.
93
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:30,141
Hey... and like, how the fuck
do you have AA with no smokes?
94
00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,642
--It's nuts.
95
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:34,187
And it's criminal.
You know, so to speak.
96
00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:35,813
Anyway...
97
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,903
This valueless piece of crappy plastic
really means a lot to me.
98
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,614
Uh...
99
00:06:45,698 --> 00:06:48,617
symbolism, et cetera.
100
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:53,081
Well, screw it, you know,
I'm fucking proud of myself, so...
101
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,962
All right, everyone.
So, I'll see you tomorrow.
102
00:06:59,045 --> 00:07:00,088
Keep coming back.
103
00:07:00,171 --> 00:07:03,632
It works if you work it.
104
00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:04,842
Okay.
105
00:07:17,105 --> 00:07:19,190
-You fucking kidding me?
-Contraband.
106
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,902
Shit.
107
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:27,323
Morning, sister.
108
00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:33,329
Sorry, I, uh...
I have a thing...
109
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:35,706
over here.
110
00:07:54,976 --> 00:07:56,894
I would've asked,
but since we're sneaking
111
00:07:56,978 --> 00:07:58,812
into each other's bunks
in the middle of the night,
112
00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,357
I thought it was... safe to assume.
113
00:08:02,233 --> 00:08:04,068
I was sleepwalking.
114
00:08:04,152 --> 00:08:06,904
Climbing... whispering.
115
00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:10,824
- What's going on with you?
- Nothing. I'm great.
116
00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:14,745
I'm just sitting here...
117
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,914
enjoying the prison breeze.
118
00:08:16,998 --> 00:08:18,791
I'm worried about you.
119
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,544
The other night
was really out of character.
120
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:24,130
Maybe it's entirely in character,
but you wouldn't know
121
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:25,298
because we haven't
talked in so long.
122
00:08:25,381 --> 00:08:26,424
Fine.
123
00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:28,592
I will leave you alone.
124
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:33,639
But I'm here if you ever wanna
drop the sarcasm and talk to me.
125
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,099
Oh, my God.
126
00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:36,184
How generous!
127
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:40,188
Now you have time for me?
Now you wanna talk?
128
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,607
Where were you before?
When I needed you?
129
00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:46,735
I begged you to listen to me,
130
00:08:46,819 --> 00:08:48,737
and you were too busy
fucking that tattooed kangaroo
131
00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:50,156
and calling me paranoid.
132
00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:54,368
I spent months thinking that
I was crazy because of you!
133
00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:55,911
And you know what?
I was right.
134
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:58,622
Right? What do you mean,
you were right?
135
00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:03,211
Nothing. Never mind.
I have to go.
136
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:12,095
Most likely to be
an undercover baller goes to...
137
00:09:13,346 --> 00:09:14,888
- Maritza.
138
00:09:18,309 --> 00:09:21,437
I have dreamt about this moment
my whole life.
139
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,272
--No, but for real, though,
140
00:09:23,356 --> 00:09:25,316
that was, like,
some James Bond-level shit.
141
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:28,319
-Ooh!
-Panty Galore. Hi.
142
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,156
No, but seriously,
when do we get paid?
143
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,492
Alonso's gonna let me know
when all the inventory's sold.
144
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,785
Yo, this is a real shame.
145
00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:38,662
- Hmm?
- We got a group here, right?
146
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,456
We got a system. So...
147
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:42,583
Oh, why we ain't going
after the hard stuff?
148
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:45,419
That's true. How much
we ever gonna make off panties?
149
00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:47,505
Yo, we gotta be patient, all right?
150
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:50,716
Our crew ain't about
nothing illegal, you hear me?
151
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,050
-This is the game in here right now.
-Why?
152
00:09:52,135 --> 00:09:54,262
So we're gonna play the game
and we're gonna win.
153
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,931
On behalf of
the Litchfield Safety Task Force,
154
00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,475
you need to halt your gathering.
155
00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:01,185
What the fuck you saying?
156
00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:02,645
Congress...
157
00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,272
Shit. No, that's not it.
158
00:10:04,355 --> 00:10:06,232
- Um, conga--
159
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:09,360
- Ca-- Conga. Conga. This shit?
160
00:10:10,111 --> 00:10:12,238
"Congregating."
It's "congregating."
161
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:15,283
- Yeah. Congregating...
162
00:10:15,366 --> 00:10:18,994
...in a group of four or more
is no longer allowed.
163
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,204
- What?
164
00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:23,707
- Man, get the fuck outta here. Stupid.
- So stupid.
165
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,042
Look, you dirt taco.
166
00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,210
Whoa!
167
00:10:26,294 --> 00:10:29,172
You move along or I'll call a CO over here
and get y'all some shots.
168
00:10:29,255 --> 00:10:30,298
What'd you just call her?
169
00:10:30,381 --> 00:10:33,342
-What's the problem?
-They're gathering, sir.
170
00:10:33,426 --> 00:10:35,886
Oh, gathering, huh?
171
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,596
Well, I guess that's some shots.
172
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,682
- What?
- Oh! Are you serious, man?
173
00:10:39,765 --> 00:10:41,392
- Yeah.
- Are you fucking kidding me?
174
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:42,601
Really?
175
00:10:46,939 --> 00:10:48,982
It's like he's in my head.
176
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:51,819
-It's like he's talking right to me.
-That's good.
177
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,866
Can I pitch you a crazy idea?
178
00:10:58,576 --> 00:11:00,661
You wanna make me breakfast.
179
00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:01,954
That is very sweet.
180
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:04,665
Stick with me for just a second.
181
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,210
We have all these issues
because of the overcrowding, right?
182
00:11:07,293 --> 00:11:09,837
We have lack of space,
unemployment, bad behavior,
183
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,006
but you know what I think
the biggest problem we have is?
184
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:14,217
My hunger?
185
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:15,551
Boredom.
186
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:16,969
The inmates are restless.
187
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:18,887
They have nothing
to fill up their time, so they're...
188
00:11:18,971 --> 00:11:20,473
they're picking fights
and they're acting out,
189
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:21,724
and you can't really blame 'em,
190
00:11:21,807 --> 00:11:23,892
and we don't have the money
to give them jobs,
191
00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:25,894
but we can give 'em something else.
192
00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:28,188
Something that gives them a reason to...
193
00:11:28,272 --> 00:11:29,857
to get dressed in the morning.
194
00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:33,277
That makes them
more productive members of society,
195
00:11:33,361 --> 00:11:34,612
in and out of prison.
196
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,992
We can give 'em classes.
197
00:11:42,286 --> 00:11:43,412
That sounds expensive.
198
00:11:43,496 --> 00:11:45,163
But it wouldn't have to be.
199
00:11:45,248 --> 00:11:47,082
MCC would never let one of those
200
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,084
fruity liberal arts schools
inside our walls.
201
00:11:49,167 --> 00:11:50,294
I know that.
That's why I was thinking
202
00:11:50,378 --> 00:11:52,045
we can train the guards
to lead the classes.
203
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:53,506
We don't have to teach calculus,
204
00:11:53,589 --> 00:11:56,759
just some more concrete life skills.
205
00:11:57,426 --> 00:11:59,094
We can call them...
206
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,471
enrichment classes.
207
00:12:01,389 --> 00:12:04,350
This can make a real difference
in some of these women's lives.
208
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,143
And maybe ours, too.
209
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,562
If I can get this off the ground...
210
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,024
it has the potential
to be career-defining.
211
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:13,984
Right?
212
00:12:15,361 --> 00:12:16,404
I can help.
213
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,489
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
214
00:12:18,572 --> 00:12:20,408
I know how to pitch things to MCC.
215
00:12:20,491 --> 00:12:23,160
It's all about using
the right language with them,
216
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,537
putting things in their terms.
217
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:25,788
When I'm in my flow,
they don't even realize
218
00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:26,914
what they're saying yes to.
219
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:28,332
You think that's the right approach?
220
00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:30,584
Absolutely. You let me handle them.
221
00:12:30,668 --> 00:12:34,212
You focus on your legacy.
Go, team.
222
00:12:34,297 --> 00:12:36,089
--Go, team!
223
00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:37,550
And go omelet, maybe?
224
00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:38,676
Like, a scramble?
225
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,636
-Scramble? You're hungry?
-Love a scramble.
226
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,262
- I'm hungry. I'm starving.
- You need to eat.
227
00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:44,097
This is good, Joe.
This is so good.
228
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:46,809
-I'm gonna make you an omelet.
-Great. Go, team!
229
00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:49,895
This week we seen
two sets of titties on the walls,
230
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:52,315
which is less than
four the week before,
231
00:12:52,398 --> 00:12:54,608
and only one pussy.
232
00:12:54,692 --> 00:12:56,860
Uh, but to be honest,
it wasn't really drawed that well,
233
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:59,488
so I don't think anybody knew
it was supposed to be a pussy, anyway.
234
00:12:59,572 --> 00:13:02,115
Yeah, chalking that up
as a win all around.
235
00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:03,867
Been breaking up groups
of border niggers
236
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,118
and plain niggers, too.
237
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:08,706
Spooking spooks.
Crunching nachos. Ain't nothing.
238
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:13,877
This has been moderately
to minimally helpful.
239
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:15,087
Thank you, inmates.
240
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,422
Wait, we got more.
241
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:19,508
Some of us girls
have also been noticing panties.
242
00:13:20,593 --> 00:13:24,555
Why don't you just, uh,
leave the strip-searching up to us?
243
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:27,558
Not the regular panties.
The fancy ones from the sewing job.
244
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:28,934
Slutty panties.
245
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,268
Well, I think they're pretty.
246
00:13:30,353 --> 00:13:32,855
Shouldn't we be focusing
on gang activity?
247
00:13:32,938 --> 00:13:35,858
Girls wearing panties
sounds pretty harmless to me.
248
00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:37,150
For perverts.
249
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:40,738
-Cash money. Crotch sniffing.
-Yeah.
250
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:43,366
It's a business. We heard.
251
00:13:43,449 --> 00:13:46,869
You're telling me that somebody's
making money off of dirty panties?
252
00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:52,082
Yeah, they're selling for, like,
$700 to Chinamen in China.
253
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,542
That's what we heard.
254
00:13:53,626 --> 00:13:54,877
Oh, we heard that. Yeah.
255
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,963
Thank you for your intel.
256
00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,339
Keep it steady.
257
00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:04,052
All right, I got it.
258
00:14:07,139 --> 00:14:08,807
Yeah, see, if you wanted
to be the United States,
259
00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,976
you should've been the women,
because they're good at soccer.
260
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,770
Whereas the men,
not so much.
261
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:14,980
I'm not gonna be
some chick team, dude.
262
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,941
- Oh, damn it!
- Yeah, that's offsides.
263
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:22,780
I can't concentrate with all the noise
from the idiots out there.
264
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,365
You want a soda?
265
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:27,117
-Anything harder?
-Aren't you on the clock?
266
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,952
"Aren't you on the clock?"
267
00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:33,541
Maybe I should just call
the cable company instead.
268
00:14:33,624 --> 00:14:35,208
- If you wanna pay for it, sure.
269
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:39,922
Teaching them to install illegal cable
doesn't exactly sound like rehabilitation.
270
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:44,259
Hey, it's a practical skill
in the real world, my friend.
271
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,094
I'm bleeding.
272
00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:47,596
-What the fuck did you do?
-Jesus.
273
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:51,058
I cut myself with that shitty,
rusty wire cutter you gave us.
274
00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:53,185
-Come on, run.
-What? No, I need to go to medical!
275
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:54,937
At halftime, just...
276
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,730
- wrap a sock around it or something.
277
00:14:56,814 --> 00:14:58,273
One more scar's
not gonna change your world.
278
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:01,151
- Fucking asshole.
279
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:04,112
Oh, goal! Take that, fucker!
280
00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:05,656
I wasn't even playing, man.
281
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,575
You're such a piece of shit.
282
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:08,867
What did you say, inmate?
283
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:12,204
I said, you're a piece of shit!
284
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:15,040
-You wanna spend some time in the SHU?
-Hey, man, she needs to go to medical.
285
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,501
-Are you defending her?
-If she's telling you she needs something,
286
00:15:17,585 --> 00:15:18,794
you need to listen to her.
287
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:20,671
They're people, for Christ's sake.
288
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,756
It's our job to take care
of these women.
289
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,134
Do your fucking job!
You're not listening to her.
290
00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:27,761
Are you joking?
291
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,139
Get out of my house.
292
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,351
No? Not joking?
293
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,520
It's been a real buzzkill.
294
00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:40,023
Let's go, tetanus.
295
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:43,110
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
296
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,737
What?
297
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:46,029
Can you give us a ride?
298
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:06,341
Hey, get a move on, inmate.
299
00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:22,983
What's your business?
300
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,860
Well, I figured I'd bust out of here
301
00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:28,280
and sell generic disinfectant and
cleaning rags on the street for pennies.
302
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,992
Man, come on. It's me.
303
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:33,243
Answer the question.
304
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,329
I am a cleaning porter,
305
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,666
as my giant accomplice here
might indicate.
306
00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,547
Take a left down hallway A,
307
00:16:44,630 --> 00:16:46,882
a right down hallway 21...
308
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:49,510
and then report to the SHU gate.
309
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,179
Oh, hey, let me ask you a question.
310
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,848
Uh, at what point
do I get to meet the wizard?
311
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:01,313
Oh, thank you.
312
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:03,148
See ya.
313
00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,568
--Michigan, Lansing.
314
00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,987
Minnesota, Jackson.
315
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:13,200
Missouri, Jefferson City.
316
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:16,244
Mississippi.
You forgot Mississippi.
317
00:17:17,580 --> 00:17:19,623
Mississippi.
318
00:17:19,707 --> 00:17:20,874
God damn.
319
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,544
I always do that.
320
00:17:28,632 --> 00:17:30,383
Shut that motherfucker!
321
00:17:31,677 --> 00:17:34,387
- What, you a Peeping Tom now?
322
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,436
Hi, Burset.
323
00:17:42,354 --> 00:17:43,564
Be honest with me.
324
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:46,316
Ever seen me
look this ravishing?
325
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,026
Uh...
326
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:52,615
if we're using "ravishing"
as a synonym for "horrendous," never.
327
00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:54,617
Nichols, right?
328
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,078
You're on this hallway a lot?
329
00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,789
Maybe once a week.
330
00:18:00,873 --> 00:18:03,333
And I never really know
where they're gonna assign me.
331
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,417
Listen.
332
00:18:05,586 --> 00:18:07,545
Can you get me a blanket?
333
00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:09,965
Bring it in next time you come through?
334
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:13,260
I'd love to help you,
I just, uh...
335
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,178
I'm really trying to keep
on the straight and narrow.
336
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:17,848
Please. I'm not sleeping.
337
00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:21,226
I'm gonna lose my mind
if I don't get some rest.
338
00:18:21,309 --> 00:18:24,605
And we both know what happens
if you go insane in this place, right?
339
00:18:24,688 --> 00:18:27,941
Hey, uh, I feel you.
I really do.
340
00:18:28,025 --> 00:18:30,402
But think about it,
I don't even know where to find a spare.
341
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:33,113
Even if I did,
they'd just spot it in a second.
342
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:35,032
You'd be fucked.
I'd be fucked.
343
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:39,536
I get it.
344
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:40,871
Sorry I asked.
345
00:18:43,791 --> 00:18:45,000
Hold on.
346
00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:52,633
Here.
347
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,845
At least that'll keep
your mind occupied.
348
00:18:56,929 --> 00:19:00,598
All right, so just go slowly, all right?
349
00:19:00,683 --> 00:19:03,977
Read every word,
even the ads.
350
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:08,315
Reciting the capitals helps me
if that doesn't work.
351
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,824
-I gotta go. I gotta go. Okay.
-What's it like outside today?
352
00:19:16,907 --> 00:19:18,784
Is it raining?
353
00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:23,038
Go.
354
00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,622
Whoa, Snow White and her high hoes.
355
00:19:24,707 --> 00:19:25,791
Why don't you get in
the back of the line?
356
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,167
- Next.
- What's going on?
357
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,919
Oh, it's a stop-and-frisk.
358
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,421
Over here. Next.
359
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:34,675
Over here.
360
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:35,926
Thank you.
361
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,010
-Next.
-Are you wearing?
362
00:19:37,094 --> 00:19:38,095
Mmm-hmm.
363
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,763
- Here.
- Fuck.
364
00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:41,098
Next.
365
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:43,934
Over here, please.
366
00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:46,979
Oh, yeah, hustle.
367
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:48,355
Next.
368
00:19:52,693 --> 00:19:53,777
Right over here.
369
00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:58,615
Go.
370
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:01,368
Next.
371
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,372
Go.
372
00:20:06,832 --> 00:20:08,333
You.
373
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:09,501
No.
374
00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:11,628
You.
375
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,047
You look interesting.
376
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,926
-Where are you from, inmate?
-Hawaii.
377
00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:19,302
Ooh.
378
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:21,513
Well, over here.
379
00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:24,892
Aloha.
380
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:29,646
-Next.
-Well, hello there, CO, sir.
381
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:31,023
How are you today?
382
00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:33,191
Go.
383
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:35,903
Come on.
384
00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:41,158
And next.
385
00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:42,993
Next.
386
00:20:45,788 --> 00:20:46,789
Shit.
387
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,257
Next.
388
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,341
Look at this.
389
00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:02,387
Oh, shit.
That's Betty Cracker herself.
390
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,639
I was in that grass this morning.
391
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:05,808
That exact grass.
392
00:21:05,891 --> 00:21:09,561
Damn. We could've been in this pic.
Been all prison famous.
393
00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:11,855
You know what's better than being famous?
394
00:21:11,939 --> 00:21:14,691
Uh... pizza, daisies, smelly markers,
395
00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:17,319
any animal, a really good dream,
a warm bath,
396
00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:18,987
-picking a booger, a dry one...
-Ugh!
397
00:21:19,071 --> 00:21:21,656
...pizza, graham crackers
and icing sandwiches,
398
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,700
the feeling you get
when you make a really good joke
399
00:21:23,784 --> 00:21:27,204
and someone laughs, in a nice way,
not a mean way, and they--
400
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,289
-Money!
-Money?
401
00:21:29,372 --> 00:21:31,875
- Cash money, y'all.
402
00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:34,461
Yo, do you know how much
these paparazzi people make
403
00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:36,797
off of one of these celebrity pictures?
404
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,049
If they be flying
these robocops over Litchfield
405
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:42,260
just to get this janky-ass picture...
406
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:46,473
imagine how much a close-up could be.
407
00:21:46,556 --> 00:21:48,308
That's what those drones are doing?
408
00:21:48,934 --> 00:21:50,643
The aliens aren't coming?
409
00:21:50,727 --> 00:21:52,104
Yo!
410
00:21:52,187 --> 00:21:54,231
Focus!
411
00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:56,149
-My bad. My bad.
-Mmm-hmm.
412
00:21:56,233 --> 00:21:57,818
I got the Internet.
413
00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:01,905
-Where?
-You got on Caputo's computer.
414
00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:04,699
Yo! That's a game changer!
415
00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:07,244
I know! I know, I know, I know!
Okay, okay, okay.
416
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:10,455
So, all we got to do now
is find ourselves a cell phone,
417
00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:12,875
and we got ourselves a retirement plan.
418
00:22:12,958 --> 00:22:14,877
Yo...
419
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:20,883
I'm gonna retire in that hotel
with the indoor water park in Ohio.
420
00:22:20,966 --> 00:22:22,717
Lord, give me strength.
421
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,302
You got kids?
422
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:25,971
No.
423
00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:27,305
Wasn't in the cards.
424
00:22:28,223 --> 00:22:29,557
Didn't have the genetics.
425
00:22:29,641 --> 00:22:31,726
Well, that don't stop most people.
426
00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:35,688
Well, there was some
family medical history
427
00:22:35,772 --> 00:22:37,065
I didn't wanna pass on.
428
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:39,567
You?
429
00:22:39,651 --> 00:22:42,529
Well, the... Okay, the me
that I used to be wanted 'em...
430
00:22:42,612 --> 00:22:45,240
but considering my present situation...
431
00:22:45,323 --> 00:22:48,868
it's probably good that I didn't make
any more little Lolly-pops.
432
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,163
Hey, have you ever seen The Twilight Zone?
433
00:22:51,246 --> 00:22:54,124
- Up here every day.
434
00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:56,418
You know, my mother loved it.
435
00:22:56,501 --> 00:22:57,627
And there was an episode
436
00:22:57,710 --> 00:23:00,713
where this couple
wakes up in a strange house.
437
00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,882
So they go downstairs,
and they're looking for other people.
438
00:23:02,966 --> 00:23:04,467
They can't find any other people.
439
00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:06,636
They try to make a call,
and all the phones are fake.
440
00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:07,845
-No!
-Yes.
441
00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:11,808
And outside,
there are fake squirrels,
442
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:16,146
stuffed... posed on fake trees.
443
00:23:16,939 --> 00:23:20,067
So, at the end...
444
00:23:20,150 --> 00:23:24,654
this really huge hand
reaches down from the sky
445
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:26,281
and picks them up.
446
00:23:27,324 --> 00:23:29,367
And it's a young girl...
447
00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:31,619
but she's a giant...
448
00:23:32,245 --> 00:23:35,540
and the couple are stuck
in her play world,
449
00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:37,750
so she can make them do
whatever she wants.
450
00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:40,337
Whoa.
451
00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:41,629
My mother...
452
00:23:42,797 --> 00:23:45,175
was... like you.
453
00:23:47,135 --> 00:23:48,470
Similar issues.
454
00:23:49,804 --> 00:23:53,850
And she would always say...
that that's how it felt,
455
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:57,980
like she was locked...
in a fake world...
456
00:23:58,063 --> 00:23:59,731
that no one else was part of...
457
00:24:00,898 --> 00:24:03,443
even though it looked exactly the same.
458
00:24:06,154 --> 00:24:08,323
Yeah, I got a lot of prisons
in my life, sir.
459
00:24:10,283 --> 00:24:11,784
I got the literal one, duh.
460
00:24:13,578 --> 00:24:18,041
I got the one where I'm on my meds
and I can't feel anything.
461
00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:20,043
That is not so great.
462
00:24:20,127 --> 00:24:21,628
Then, I have the worst one...
463
00:24:21,711 --> 00:24:24,964
the prison where I'm usually living in,
464
00:24:25,048 --> 00:24:26,549
and there's all these people, right,
465
00:24:26,633 --> 00:24:28,051
and they're talkin'
and talkin' and talkin'.
466
00:24:28,135 --> 00:24:29,844
And they cannot agree
on what is the truth.
467
00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:31,221
That's like that episode.
468
00:24:31,304 --> 00:24:32,597
That's exactly right.
469
00:24:34,849 --> 00:24:36,018
How's your mom?
470
00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:37,852
She's fine.
471
00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:40,605
I'm glad.
472
00:24:40,688 --> 00:24:41,814
Thank you.
473
00:24:48,030 --> 00:24:50,073
I need the dead man's keys.
474
00:24:50,157 --> 00:24:52,950
Warm a girl up a little,
would ya?
475
00:24:53,868 --> 00:24:56,829
I would very much like to return
your witty banter,
476
00:24:56,913 --> 00:24:59,707
but I am too exhausted to be clever.
477
00:24:59,791 --> 00:25:00,792
The keys.
478
00:25:00,875 --> 00:25:01,959
Now.
479
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:10,885
Are you all right?
480
00:25:10,968 --> 00:25:14,722
I haven't had
a decent night's sleep in weeks.
481
00:25:18,810 --> 00:25:21,563
Hoping to escape to the Motel 6
down the street?
482
00:25:21,646 --> 00:25:26,193
A more practical escape than that,
my friend.
483
00:25:26,276 --> 00:25:28,403
How the fuck are you not
freaking out right now?
484
00:25:28,486 --> 00:25:30,029
-About the panty raid?
-Yes.
485
00:25:30,572 --> 00:25:33,116
-You saw that stop-and-frisk today.
-Mmm-hmm.
486
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,703
They're not even looking in our direction,
and they're never going to.
487
00:25:37,245 --> 00:25:38,663
We're good.
488
00:25:38,746 --> 00:25:42,334
I'm playing those guards like a flute.
Like a group of flutes, many flutes.
489
00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:43,460
I'm the flautist.
490
00:25:43,543 --> 00:25:45,837
Okay, I get it.
You play a mean flute.
491
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,466
But tell me, what's gonna happen
when they stop one of the brown girls...
492
00:25:49,549 --> 00:25:50,883
who's wearing panties?
493
00:25:51,468 --> 00:25:53,386
You think she's gonna give up Maria?
494
00:25:53,470 --> 00:25:55,180
Fuck, no.
She's gonna point right at you,
495
00:25:55,263 --> 00:25:58,183
because... well, it's the truth,
so she won't be lying.
496
00:25:58,266 --> 00:26:00,685
And also,
everyone hates you.
497
00:26:00,768 --> 00:26:03,020
If they are coming for me,
I will be here.
498
00:26:03,105 --> 00:26:05,148
That is precisely my point.
499
00:26:05,232 --> 00:26:08,360
You're just sitting, waiting.
Chapman, make a move. Be a shark.
500
00:26:08,443 --> 00:26:11,279
I am not tearing down
everything that I have built.
501
00:26:11,363 --> 00:26:14,031
This business is important to me.
It gives me purpose.
502
00:26:14,116 --> 00:26:17,827
Oh... honey bear.
503
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:20,955
See... now we come
to the point in our journey
504
00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:24,041
where it's time for you to think about
someone other than yourself.
505
00:26:24,751 --> 00:26:26,878
You brought people into this.
506
00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:30,507
You're responsible for us.
507
00:26:30,590 --> 00:26:32,049
If you wanna wear the crown,
you gotta be willing
508
00:26:32,134 --> 00:26:33,176
to fall on your sword.
509
00:26:33,260 --> 00:26:36,804
Everything's gonna be okay.
I'm not worried.
510
00:26:37,347 --> 00:26:40,808
Someone is going to go down
for this, Chapman...
511
00:26:41,893 --> 00:26:43,520
and for my sake...
512
00:26:43,603 --> 00:26:45,062
I hope it isn't you.
513
00:26:48,150 --> 00:26:50,568
When you say that everybody hates me,
514
00:26:50,652 --> 00:26:52,570
you're being a little hyperbolic, right?
515
00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:56,533
I'm afraid we're gonna
have to wrap it up, ladies.
516
00:26:56,616 --> 00:26:57,992
- Aw!
- Have a good day,
517
00:26:58,075 --> 00:27:00,287
and remember our theme.
518
00:27:00,370 --> 00:27:02,330
Use what you've got!
519
00:27:02,414 --> 00:27:04,374
--Thank you.
520
00:27:07,084 --> 00:27:08,878
- Oh, good, good.
521
00:27:10,838 --> 00:27:13,216
-Yes. Yes.
-All right. See you later. Thank you.
522
00:27:15,718 --> 00:27:16,844
Oh, Lord.
523
00:27:16,928 --> 00:27:19,806
Are you gonna keep dancing over there
like a little girl who has to pee
524
00:27:19,889 --> 00:27:21,808
or are you gonna come over here
and tell me what's wrong?
525
00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,103
Look.
526
00:27:26,771 --> 00:27:30,358
-What's this?
-That is freshly whipped butter.
527
00:27:30,442 --> 00:27:32,610
And Bill puts this Maldon salt
528
00:27:32,694 --> 00:27:34,904
in my care package.
This is my heroin.
529
00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:37,782
Now, I'm not supposed to tell anybody,
so keep quiet about it.
530
00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:39,701
There we go. Cheers.
531
00:27:42,412 --> 00:27:43,580
Mmm!
532
00:27:43,663 --> 00:27:45,164
Holy fuck.
533
00:27:45,248 --> 00:27:46,333
That's good.
534
00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:48,167
Better than a good shit in the morning.
535
00:27:48,251 --> 00:27:49,711
That's my favorite thing.
536
00:27:49,794 --> 00:27:52,464
Oh, sweetie,
that's everybody's favorite thing.
537
00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:54,131
Don't go thinking that makes you original.
538
00:27:54,799 --> 00:27:56,968
Now, what are you
moping about around here?
539
00:27:57,051 --> 00:27:58,970
Did your girlfriend write to you again?
540
00:27:59,053 --> 00:28:01,306
Well, she's not my girlfriend,
first of all...
541
00:28:01,389 --> 00:28:02,432
Right.
542
00:28:03,391 --> 00:28:04,434
I don't know, it's weird.
543
00:28:04,517 --> 00:28:06,769
I, like, care or something.
544
00:28:06,853 --> 00:28:09,231
-Oh.
-'Cause normally, I do not give a shit.
545
00:28:09,314 --> 00:28:11,358
-Mmm-hmm.
-About anything...
546
00:28:12,442 --> 00:28:13,735
and especially this.
547
00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:17,280
Maybe the chocolate I had was bad.
548
00:28:17,864 --> 00:28:20,992
It doesn't make sense, because...
she fucked up.
549
00:28:22,410 --> 00:28:24,954
Man, did she fuck up. But...
550
00:28:25,997 --> 00:28:27,832
I knew it was bad for her
551
00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:31,127
and I got involved anyway,
and now she's worse off than before.
552
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:34,839
Really gotta suck ass down there.
553
00:28:37,091 --> 00:28:39,093
God, what was that, like,
sympathy or something?
554
00:28:39,176 --> 00:28:40,553
Mr. Luschek...
555
00:28:40,637 --> 00:28:44,391
I believe that what you are
referring to is called guilt.
556
00:28:45,725 --> 00:28:47,935
But I don't have anything
to feel guilty about.
557
00:28:48,019 --> 00:28:49,604
Well, guilt is tricky that way.
558
00:28:51,648 --> 00:28:53,441
Yeah, look, I need an honest opinion.
559
00:28:56,278 --> 00:28:58,530
-Am I a piece of shit?
-Do you want it straight?
560
00:28:59,155 --> 00:29:00,573
-No.
-Mmm. All right.
561
00:29:00,657 --> 00:29:01,991
From what I've observed,
562
00:29:02,074 --> 00:29:05,745
you're lazy,
you're selfish as all get-out...
563
00:29:05,828 --> 00:29:09,249
you don't care about much,
you don't seem to shower that often.
564
00:29:09,332 --> 00:29:12,919
But you are funny as hell,
and I think you're genuine,
565
00:29:13,002 --> 00:29:15,212
which is hard to come by.
So, all in all,
566
00:29:15,297 --> 00:29:18,675
I think that makes you...
Hmm... What?
567
00:29:18,758 --> 00:29:19,926
Half a piece of shit.
568
00:29:20,927 --> 00:29:23,346
But there's always time for change.
569
00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:25,973
That's the thing.
570
00:29:26,057 --> 00:29:27,934
There's literally nothing for me to do.
571
00:29:30,812 --> 00:29:34,441
She's in max.
I can't do anything for her.
572
00:29:34,524 --> 00:29:37,068
And maybe she doesn't even deserve it,
even if I could do something.
573
00:29:37,151 --> 00:29:39,321
Well, everybody deserves kindness.
574
00:29:43,074 --> 00:29:45,702
Oh, God,
I really got you on that one.
575
00:29:45,785 --> 00:29:48,913
"Everybody deserves kindness"?
576
00:29:48,996 --> 00:29:50,290
What do you think I am?
577
00:29:50,373 --> 00:29:53,751
Some black granny knitting
on a porch in Savannah?
578
00:29:53,835 --> 00:29:55,086
Come on.
579
00:29:55,169 --> 00:29:58,423
Stop whining in my kitchen
and go figure this out.
580
00:29:58,506 --> 00:29:59,507
Oh...
581
00:30:00,633 --> 00:30:02,302
You are a straight, white man.
582
00:30:02,385 --> 00:30:04,136
You don't get to be the victim, sweetie.
583
00:30:04,804 --> 00:30:06,931
Yeah, that whole thing's
gonna flip at some point, right?
584
00:30:23,698 --> 00:30:24,741
Hey.
585
00:30:39,547 --> 00:30:41,048
Care if I join you?
586
00:30:50,057 --> 00:30:51,351
All right, what are you doin'?
587
00:30:51,434 --> 00:30:53,227
You're not in a very lovey mood, I see.
588
00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:54,562
"Lovey"?
589
00:30:54,646 --> 00:30:57,524
What is that? Is that, like,
an acceptable word where you come from?
590
00:30:57,607 --> 00:31:00,693
No, hey, 'cause here in America...
Yeah, that makes us barf.
591
00:31:02,028 --> 00:31:04,781
Okay, well, how would you describe
the other night in the bathroom then?
592
00:31:04,864 --> 00:31:06,783
'Cause the way you were
screaming my name...
593
00:31:06,866 --> 00:31:08,493
it was pretty hot.
594
00:31:08,576 --> 00:31:12,121
I was just doing my very best
Streetcar Named Desire impression.
595
00:31:14,457 --> 00:31:17,001
"Stella!"
596
00:31:17,084 --> 00:31:19,003
That's the, uh, the Meryl Streep one?
597
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,090
Yeah, I hate it when you talk sometimes.
598
00:31:23,174 --> 00:31:24,300
No...
599
00:31:24,384 --> 00:31:25,510
all the time.
600
00:31:25,593 --> 00:31:27,053
Jesus.
601
00:31:28,555 --> 00:31:29,639
What's wrong?
602
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:31,891
Nothing.
603
00:31:34,185 --> 00:31:35,978
You know, rough day.
604
00:31:42,193 --> 00:31:44,236
I thought I told you
to stay the fuck away from me
605
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,072
if you were back on that shit.
606
00:31:47,364 --> 00:31:48,825
You're disgusting.
607
00:31:54,288 --> 00:31:55,331
Fucking hell.
608
00:32:01,921 --> 00:32:03,297
Heard you need a thing I have.
609
00:32:05,091 --> 00:32:08,636
A religion that'll stone me to death
if I get raped?
610
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:10,430
Mmm, no thanks, I'm good.
611
00:32:11,305 --> 00:32:13,015
I'll go ahead and assume
612
00:32:13,099 --> 00:32:17,394
Bernie Madoff speaks
for your entire religion, too.
613
00:32:17,479 --> 00:32:19,230
Ignorant asshole.
614
00:32:21,398 --> 00:32:23,901
All right. Okay.
615
00:32:25,402 --> 00:32:26,571
Now...
616
00:32:29,699 --> 00:32:30,908
what you talkin' 'bout?
617
00:32:40,627 --> 00:32:43,129
Shit! Wait a minute.
618
00:32:44,088 --> 00:32:45,214
How'd you know I need that?
619
00:32:45,297 --> 00:32:49,260
You make the mistake of assuming
anything is private in here.
620
00:32:49,343 --> 00:32:50,595
All right, what you want for it?
621
00:32:51,387 --> 00:32:52,972
Box of tampons for 15 minutes.
622
00:32:53,055 --> 00:32:55,683
Oh, hell, no.
623
00:32:55,767 --> 00:32:58,978
Look, I'll give you
one tampon for an hour.
624
00:32:59,061 --> 00:33:00,772
That's unreasonable.
625
00:33:00,855 --> 00:33:02,607
So is God,
but that don't stop him.
626
00:33:02,690 --> 00:33:04,901
Are you comparing yourself to God?
627
00:33:04,984 --> 00:33:06,318
I mean, do you even have, like,
628
00:33:06,402 --> 00:33:09,238
one teeny-tiny, itty-bitty
bit of humor left in you?
629
00:33:09,321 --> 00:33:11,866
Or does your headscarf
numb that part of your brain?
630
00:33:12,742 --> 00:33:14,494
Offer's off the table.
631
00:33:14,577 --> 00:33:16,453
Yeah.
632
00:33:16,538 --> 00:33:19,165
That's what I thought.
633
00:33:19,248 --> 00:33:22,126
You know you just lost, right?
634
00:33:22,209 --> 00:33:24,587
Winnin', losin'.
635
00:33:24,671 --> 00:33:28,675
I'm so enlightened, those words
don't mean nothin' to me.
636
00:33:40,186 --> 00:33:41,729
Hey, I'm telling you,
you made a mistake.
637
00:33:41,813 --> 00:33:43,648
I don't get visitors.
638
00:34:12,844 --> 00:34:14,303
Hello, sunshine.
639
00:34:14,386 --> 00:34:16,347
Oh, hey, fuckwad.
640
00:34:16,430 --> 00:34:18,725
Thanks for your sappy love letters.
641
00:34:18,808 --> 00:34:21,102
I wanted you to know I cared.
642
00:34:21,811 --> 00:34:23,938
You know, in my family,
"fuck you" meant, uh,
643
00:34:24,021 --> 00:34:26,190
"you really get me," so, joke's on you.
644
00:34:27,734 --> 00:34:29,235
What the fuck are you doin' here?
645
00:34:29,318 --> 00:34:30,653
I was in the neighborhood.
646
00:34:31,696 --> 00:34:33,656
Came to say hi,
thought you could use some company.
647
00:34:33,740 --> 00:34:35,908
Yeah, 'cause I'm really lonely, uh...
648
00:34:35,992 --> 00:34:37,827
with my five roommates
and 400 other people
649
00:34:37,910 --> 00:34:40,079
that I gotta shit and eat with
on a daily basis.
650
00:34:40,162 --> 00:34:41,497
--Wait!
651
00:34:46,460 --> 00:34:49,714
You know, you put me
in a really crappy position, Nichols.
652
00:34:49,797 --> 00:34:51,257
I almost lost my job because of you.
653
00:34:51,340 --> 00:34:53,009
You're shitting me right now, right?
654
00:34:54,468 --> 00:34:55,845
Just gimme a second to work up to it.
655
00:34:57,722 --> 00:34:59,098
Look...
656
00:35:00,016 --> 00:35:02,393
I wanted to say that I'm sorry...
657
00:35:03,019 --> 00:35:04,061
--...that things
658
00:35:04,145 --> 00:35:05,562
ended up the way that they did.
659
00:35:05,647 --> 00:35:08,357
Now, I'm sure it's not great down here.
660
00:35:09,901 --> 00:35:10,985
There.
661
00:35:12,111 --> 00:35:13,821
-That's it.
-Wow!
662
00:35:15,406 --> 00:35:16,991
Are you the symbol of empathy.
663
00:35:17,074 --> 00:35:19,451
No, Luschek, things aren't great.
664
00:35:19,535 --> 00:35:24,498
Let's see, uh...
I'm sober, so that's something.
665
00:35:24,581 --> 00:35:27,835
All right, like, uh,
intentionally sober,
666
00:35:27,919 --> 00:35:31,213
not barely-skating-by sober,
for the first time in my life.
667
00:35:31,297 --> 00:35:34,008
Um... hardest fuckin' thing I've ever done
668
00:35:34,091 --> 00:35:36,260
and, oh, yeah,
I picked a hell of a time to do it
669
00:35:36,343 --> 00:35:39,180
considering that anything you want
down here is available to you
670
00:35:39,263 --> 00:35:41,432
and less than a foot away
at practically all times.
671
00:35:41,515 --> 00:35:44,686
Uh, what else, what else?
Let me catch you up, uh...
672
00:35:44,769 --> 00:35:48,856
- I have no family, uh...
- I am completely alone.
673
00:35:48,940 --> 00:35:50,775
I have no friends.
674
00:35:50,858 --> 00:35:54,320
And, uh, yeah, yeah!
It's all my fault, so...
675
00:35:54,403 --> 00:35:58,532
thank you for coming all the way down here
and, uh, reminding me of all that,
676
00:35:58,615 --> 00:36:02,619
while also managing to conveniently
clear your own conscience, you know.
677
00:36:02,704 --> 00:36:04,580
- I fuckin' really appreciate it!
- Hey. Hey.
678
00:36:04,664 --> 00:36:05,998
I'm sorry. Uh...
679
00:36:06,082 --> 00:36:08,375
Hey, next time,
do me a favor, right,
680
00:36:08,459 --> 00:36:09,626
just do it the old-fashioned way
681
00:36:09,711 --> 00:36:12,714
and cum all over my face
and then leave, okay?
682
00:36:12,797 --> 00:36:14,423
Fuck you!
683
00:36:52,169 --> 00:36:53,295
Mmm.
684
00:36:57,759 --> 00:36:59,051
You okay?
685
00:37:03,305 --> 00:37:06,142
Does it bother you that I, like...
686
00:37:07,518 --> 00:37:08,602
I never...
687
00:37:09,645 --> 00:37:12,815
- Nah, girl. I'm good.
- You know...
688
00:37:12,899 --> 00:37:14,650
But it's so one-sided.
689
00:37:14,734 --> 00:37:16,736
You admittin' you're a pillow princess?
690
00:37:16,819 --> 00:37:18,780
- Okay, what is that?
691
00:37:20,197 --> 00:37:21,908
- Oh.
692
00:37:21,991 --> 00:37:23,409
You know, like, um...
693
00:37:23,492 --> 00:37:27,121
Your head's always on the pillow,
and you don't really do much else.
694
00:37:28,039 --> 00:37:31,167
- Stop.
- That is totally what I am!
695
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:33,502
Oh, no!
696
00:37:33,585 --> 00:37:35,838
See? I don't even know the lingo.
697
00:37:35,922 --> 00:37:37,924
You don't need to know the lingo.
698
00:37:40,384 --> 00:37:41,593
Look.
699
00:37:44,806 --> 00:37:46,348
We'll ease into it, okay?
700
00:37:47,516 --> 00:37:50,061
All right? You don't have to do
anything you don't wanna do.
701
00:37:52,772 --> 00:37:54,315
You're ready when you're ready.
702
00:38:00,529 --> 00:38:01,989
You taste like vagina.
703
00:38:43,948 --> 00:38:47,284
So, did you figure it out yet,
you piece of shit?
704
00:38:49,078 --> 00:38:51,497
Rub my nose in it. Thanks.
705
00:38:52,248 --> 00:38:53,540
What happened?
706
00:38:55,042 --> 00:38:56,502
-I went to visit her.
-Mmm-hmm.
707
00:38:57,044 --> 00:38:58,045
Made it worse.
708
00:38:58,129 --> 00:39:01,757
Well, did you make it about her?
Or did you make it about yourself?
709
00:39:02,424 --> 00:39:03,550
I apologized to her.
710
00:39:03,634 --> 00:39:05,011
I thought you didn't do anything wrong.
711
00:39:06,428 --> 00:39:08,680
Yeah.
Well, I didn't.
712
00:39:09,390 --> 00:39:11,976
That makes my apology
even more meaningful.
713
00:39:12,059 --> 00:39:13,310
Only if it's genuine.
714
00:39:14,145 --> 00:39:16,188
- Who made up all these rules?
715
00:39:16,272 --> 00:39:18,149
Do you want me to call you
a piece of shit again?
716
00:39:18,232 --> 00:39:19,775
Would that be more helpful?
717
00:39:23,612 --> 00:39:26,657
I gotta tell Caputo
how everything went down.
718
00:39:26,740 --> 00:39:27,950
That's the only way
to get her out of there.
719
00:39:28,034 --> 00:39:29,618
Won't you lose your job?
720
00:39:31,078 --> 00:39:32,121
Most definitely.
721
00:39:32,204 --> 00:39:36,333
Well, that is the most
idiotic plan that I have ever heard.
722
00:39:36,417 --> 00:39:40,171
Now, this is comin' from a lady who once
tried to sell her own line of ketchup.
723
00:39:41,005 --> 00:39:43,925
But... Heinz is the only ketchup.
724
00:39:44,008 --> 00:39:46,010
Nobody wants fancy ketchup.
725
00:39:46,510 --> 00:39:48,262
Where were you in '96?
726
00:39:49,180 --> 00:39:52,099
- I was 14.
- Oh, go fuck yourself.
727
00:39:53,559 --> 00:39:56,062
Honey, you can't confess.
728
00:39:56,145 --> 00:39:58,814
It's not gonna do you or her
a lick of good.
729
00:39:58,898 --> 00:40:02,276
And besides, nobody ever confesses
because it's the right thing to do.
730
00:40:02,359 --> 00:40:04,528
They confess out of self-interest.
731
00:40:05,446 --> 00:40:06,822
-Yes, exactly!
-Hmm.
732
00:40:06,906 --> 00:40:08,991
I can't keep carrying around
all this guilt!
733
00:40:09,491 --> 00:40:12,078
Well, sounds like
you're gonna have to, my friend.
734
00:40:14,538 --> 00:40:16,373
Now, can I get me some of that?
735
00:40:17,499 --> 00:40:20,252
Come on, butterscotch is my favorite.
736
00:40:23,464 --> 00:40:24,590
Thank you.
737
00:40:28,052 --> 00:40:29,511
Mmm!
738
00:40:30,679 --> 00:40:32,764
I really don't like feelings.
739
00:40:35,184 --> 00:40:36,393
Uh-uh.
740
00:40:36,477 --> 00:40:37,894
Puff, puff, pass.
741
00:40:42,733 --> 00:40:45,277
Charleston, West Virginia.
742
00:40:46,695 --> 00:40:49,323
Madison, Wisconsin.
743
00:40:51,033 --> 00:40:53,827
Cheyenne, Wyoming.
744
00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:56,956
Montgomery, Alabama.
745
00:40:57,039 --> 00:40:58,082
You, cleaning lady.
746
00:40:58,165 --> 00:40:59,916
We need a mop in room 12.
747
00:41:00,917 --> 00:41:06,423
Well, I prefer Ms. Cleaning Lady,
but sure, demean me.
748
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:29,530
Where's Burset?
749
00:41:30,531 --> 00:41:32,158
Shut up and do your work...
750
00:41:32,241 --> 00:41:34,743
Ms. Cleaning Lady.
We need that cell.
751
00:41:47,714 --> 00:41:49,758
- Good morning to you, too.
752
00:41:54,721 --> 00:41:55,722
What's up?
753
00:41:55,806 --> 00:41:57,516
Mmm-mmm.
754
00:42:01,020 --> 00:42:02,146
What?
755
00:42:05,441 --> 00:42:07,609
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey.
756
00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:10,196
You don't have to do that.
757
00:42:10,279 --> 00:42:12,823
-But--
-Look, I don't want you to do that
758
00:42:12,906 --> 00:42:15,326
'cause you think that's what I want.
759
00:42:15,409 --> 00:42:18,454
I want you to want to do it.
You feel me?
760
00:42:19,288 --> 00:42:20,872
I don't wanna
screw this up again.
761
00:42:25,294 --> 00:42:27,003
What's... what's going on up there?
762
00:42:34,428 --> 00:42:36,597
What if I never want to?
763
00:42:37,348 --> 00:42:40,517
I just have all these questions, you know?
Like...
764
00:42:40,601 --> 00:42:42,228
what does this mean?
765
00:42:43,354 --> 00:42:45,647
What would happen if we both got out?
766
00:42:50,486 --> 00:42:51,487
I...
767
00:42:53,864 --> 00:42:55,866
I don't know
if this would be enough for me.
768
00:42:57,284 --> 00:43:00,246
You mean, you don't know
if I would be enough for you.
769
00:43:00,329 --> 00:43:04,875
But... No, it's not you.
You are amazing.
770
00:43:05,626 --> 00:43:08,462
But you're a girl.
771
00:43:08,545 --> 00:43:10,506
So you're saying
you don't wanna be with me.
772
00:43:10,589 --> 00:43:11,590
No.
773
00:43:12,591 --> 00:43:13,592
I...
774
00:43:14,635 --> 00:43:16,470
I just don't know...
775
00:43:17,513 --> 00:43:21,016
if I'll ever be
what you need me to be.
776
00:43:21,100 --> 00:43:22,893
You gotta let me handle that.
777
00:43:23,852 --> 00:43:25,187
What do you mean?
778
00:43:27,439 --> 00:43:30,901
Look, maybe...
779
00:43:32,486 --> 00:43:34,905
this challenges what you thought you were.
780
00:43:37,533 --> 00:43:42,246
And... maybe I'm gonna get my heart broken
in a thousand different pieces.
781
00:43:43,289 --> 00:43:44,790
But those are maybes.
782
00:43:47,126 --> 00:43:49,336
You can't live your life
accordin' to maybes.
783
00:43:54,341 --> 00:43:55,342
I love you.
784
00:44:00,181 --> 00:44:01,182
You do?
785
00:44:07,396 --> 00:44:09,273
I love you, too.
786
00:44:21,702 --> 00:44:24,330
She can see us. Move over.
787
00:44:33,214 --> 00:44:34,840
I have 11 cards.
788
00:44:34,923 --> 00:44:36,425
You're supposed
to have 11 cards.
789
00:44:36,508 --> 00:44:38,260
- Okay, good. That's good.
790
00:44:38,344 --> 00:44:40,053
Then, that... No, this is awesome.
791
00:44:40,721 --> 00:44:41,805
Hey, Alex.
792
00:44:42,889 --> 00:44:44,183
Can I talk to you for a sec?
793
00:44:45,267 --> 00:44:47,143
-Alone?
-Whatever you need to say to me,
794
00:44:47,228 --> 00:44:49,104
you can say in front of
my good friend, Lolly, here.
795
00:44:49,187 --> 00:44:50,814
That's me.
I'm the good friend.
796
00:44:50,897 --> 00:44:52,649
I didn't know you two were so close.
797
00:44:52,733 --> 00:44:55,026
Oh, you didn't get the, uh,
friend announcement that we sent out?
798
00:44:56,278 --> 00:44:59,531
I'm kind of in a rush,
but I would really like to talk to you.
799
00:44:59,615 --> 00:45:01,199
It's not laundry day.
800
00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:04,620
Well, I've got a lot of dirty stuff, so...
801
00:45:06,747 --> 00:45:09,625
Okay.
Cool.
802
00:45:10,542 --> 00:45:12,669
What did you mean when you said
you were right?
803
00:45:16,006 --> 00:45:17,966
Nothing, I just...
804
00:45:18,049 --> 00:45:20,761
I just knew you were gonna get
swept up in all that.
805
00:45:23,054 --> 00:45:24,139
Oh.
806
00:45:25,140 --> 00:45:29,478
Well, they say hindsight is 20/20, so...
807
00:45:29,561 --> 00:45:30,771
See you later.
808
00:45:33,274 --> 00:45:38,320
Okay, that was like watching
a really bad play.
809
00:45:56,588 --> 00:45:58,214
What the hell is this mess doin' here?
810
00:45:58,299 --> 00:46:00,384
We had it cleared
20 minutes ago, sir.
811
00:46:00,467 --> 00:46:02,969
I left to go on rounds,
and by the time I came back,
812
00:46:03,053 --> 00:46:04,971
it was up again.
We can't keep on top of it.
813
00:46:05,055 --> 00:46:07,558
Well, take care of it. Now.
814
00:46:09,142 --> 00:46:12,062
- Hey, you have a place to sleep.
- Ow! What the fuck?
815
00:46:12,145 --> 00:46:14,523
Rouse it up!
You have quarters.
816
00:46:14,606 --> 00:46:17,943
- Who the fuck just kicked me?
- Wake-up time.
817
00:46:18,026 --> 00:46:19,820
- I was just--
818
00:46:19,903 --> 00:46:22,448
Get these pillows,
get these sheets, fold them.
819
00:46:22,531 --> 00:46:24,115
It hasn't even healed yet!
820
00:46:24,199 --> 00:46:25,701
Come on.
821
00:46:25,784 --> 00:46:29,955
You don't need your own tepee.
This is a prison, not a sleepover.
822
00:46:30,038 --> 00:46:32,458
Oh, shit! Yo, warden!
823
00:46:32,541 --> 00:46:35,251
Hey, yo. Long time no see, man.
824
00:46:35,336 --> 00:46:36,670
Yo, how's it hanging?
825
00:46:36,753 --> 00:46:40,048
-Hey, looking sharp, huh?
-Step back, inmate.
826
00:46:40,131 --> 00:46:41,257
We have this handled, sir.
827
00:46:41,342 --> 00:46:43,051
--Hey, Mr. Caputo.
828
00:46:43,134 --> 00:46:46,012
Look at this.
It's a basket I've been making.
829
00:46:46,096 --> 00:46:47,348
You wanna know how?
830
00:46:47,431 --> 00:46:49,891
-Sure.
-I've been unraveling all the socks
831
00:46:49,975 --> 00:46:51,309
that people throw away.
832
00:46:51,393 --> 00:46:55,772
Individually dyeing each strand
with the pink soap in the bathroom,
833
00:46:55,856 --> 00:46:59,610
or the green mush, I think it's peas,
and other stuff with color.
834
00:46:59,693 --> 00:47:04,948
Then, I took the string
and I weaved it over trash bags.
835
00:47:05,031 --> 00:47:07,618
Three hundred hours.
Still not done.
836
00:47:07,701 --> 00:47:09,953
Yeah, idle time is the devil's workshop.
837
00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:11,705
When do we get to work?
838
00:47:11,788 --> 00:47:14,625
Yeah, I can't pay
for nothin' at commissary.
839
00:47:14,708 --> 00:47:16,918
Age discrimination.
That's what I'm calling it.
840
00:47:17,002 --> 00:47:19,713
Inmates, back up.
841
00:47:19,796 --> 00:47:21,339
I'll have this under control
in five minutes--
842
00:47:21,423 --> 00:47:22,591
I've got this.
843
00:47:24,843 --> 00:47:29,097
Ladies, I have heard your complaints...
844
00:47:29,180 --> 00:47:32,601
and trust me,
they have not fallen on deaf ears.
845
00:47:33,226 --> 00:47:35,270
In fact, I can't tell you much yet,
846
00:47:35,353 --> 00:47:40,651
but we have an exciting new educational
program that will be announced soon.
847
00:47:40,734 --> 00:47:42,653
Bringin' back the GED program?
848
00:47:42,736 --> 00:47:44,905
- Yeah, remember that one?
- Mmm.
849
00:47:44,988 --> 00:47:47,032
I think you'll all be very satisfied.
850
00:47:47,115 --> 00:47:49,701
In the meantime, hang in there.
851
00:47:49,785 --> 00:47:52,328
Keep your heads up, okay?
And...
852
00:47:53,539 --> 00:47:56,875
take care of each other.
This is beautiful work.
853
00:47:56,958 --> 00:48:00,045
Thanks.
And I'll believe it when I see it.
854
00:48:00,128 --> 00:48:02,380
-You'll see it.
-All right, let's go. Make a path.
855
00:48:02,464 --> 00:48:03,924
Let's make a path.
856
00:48:05,676 --> 00:48:06,927
Caputo!
857
00:48:07,010 --> 00:48:11,181
Caputo! Caputo! Caputo!
858
00:48:15,143 --> 00:48:17,353
-What happened to you?
-I'm not sure.
859
00:48:20,023 --> 00:48:22,568
-She's still out?
-Goin' on hour 19 now.
860
00:48:27,030 --> 00:48:28,865
Guess she really needed to sleep.
861
00:48:29,700 --> 00:48:31,702
I'm sorry, okay?
862
00:48:31,785 --> 00:48:33,912
God, why is everyone always so mad at me?
863
00:48:34,913 --> 00:48:36,081
You think she's dead?
864
00:48:37,207 --> 00:48:39,918
I don't like her that much, but I wouldn't
want her to be dead or nothin'.
865
00:48:40,001 --> 00:48:43,088
We'd have heard if she was dead.
Ain't no secrets in this place.
866
00:48:43,171 --> 00:48:46,758
But if she is dead, I call dibs on those
little glasses she wears on a string.
867
00:48:46,842 --> 00:48:48,635
I think my eyes are starting to go.
868
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:50,762
Looks like it's your lucky day, inmate.
869
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:53,306
Yo, what the fuck are you doing?
870
00:48:53,389 --> 00:48:55,851
-Get off me, man. Ouch!
-Nah, I don't think I will.
871
00:48:55,934 --> 00:48:57,102
We searched your bunks.
872
00:48:57,185 --> 00:48:58,979
Found some interesting evidence
under your bed.
873
00:48:59,062 --> 00:49:00,689
-What? What?
-Underwear evidence.
874
00:49:00,772 --> 00:49:02,190
Dude, you blew the mystery.
875
00:49:02,273 --> 00:49:04,568
Oh, come on. Like she doesn't know
what's under her own bunk?
876
00:49:10,824 --> 00:49:12,659
What the fuck?
877
00:49:13,910 --> 00:49:17,831
As I understand,
Cindy, you need a cell phone.
878
00:49:17,914 --> 00:49:20,834
-Mmm-hmm.
-Abdullah, you have a cell phone.
879
00:49:20,917 --> 00:49:24,963
I am sure we can reach
some sort of agreement for this problem.
880
00:49:25,046 --> 00:49:28,049
No, the problem is she gobblin' up
all my real estate
881
00:49:28,133 --> 00:49:29,676
like some hateful Monopoly shoe.
882
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:33,889
I am always the car in Monopoly.
883
00:49:34,681 --> 00:49:35,891
You know...
884
00:49:35,974 --> 00:49:40,478
I never did shit to you
except claim what was rightfully mine.
885
00:49:41,354 --> 00:49:44,107
They gave me a bed, I slept in it.
886
00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:47,318
And ever since, you been makin'
this bunk an unsafe place.
887
00:49:49,362 --> 00:49:52,658
See, that's funny, 'cause I think
nine out of ten experts would agree
888
00:49:52,741 --> 00:49:55,619
that you made shit unsafe
when you put a bomb in here.
889
00:49:55,702 --> 00:49:59,706
I retaliated against actions you took.
890
00:49:59,790 --> 00:50:01,917
- Oh, hell, no...
891
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:06,254
Ladies! Ladies. Let's remember
to use "I" statements, please.
892
00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:09,925
Seems like diggin' up the past
ain't gonna get us nowhere.
893
00:50:10,008 --> 00:50:15,556
Let's try to remember to stay focused
on moving forward.
894
00:50:16,723 --> 00:50:18,266
Fine.
895
00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:20,310
I... want in.
896
00:50:20,393 --> 00:50:23,605
You can use the phone
for however long you want,
897
00:50:23,689 --> 00:50:26,983
if I get 25% of the payday
you get from that magazine.
898
00:50:28,359 --> 00:50:30,445
- Seems fair to me. Cindy?
899
00:50:32,823 --> 00:50:34,157
I don't trust her.
900
00:50:34,908 --> 00:50:38,078
So? You think people trusted
L. Ron Hubbard?
901
00:50:38,870 --> 00:50:41,164
Fuck, no.
But that don't stop Scientologists
902
00:50:41,247 --> 00:50:43,458
from handing over
fistfuls of money to him.
903
00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:46,127
I know! Hold...
904
00:50:46,211 --> 00:50:49,172
-You read Going Clear?
-Of course!
905
00:50:49,255 --> 00:50:52,217
How about when
that crazy psycho told his wife
906
00:50:52,300 --> 00:50:54,469
to kill herself
so he wouldn't have to get divorced?
907
00:50:54,552 --> 00:50:56,387
-I know, man! I know!
-Mmm-hmm.
908
00:50:56,471 --> 00:50:58,348
You know them fuckers
don't even pay taxes?
909
00:50:58,431 --> 00:51:00,851
-Oh, girl!
-And we're the criminals?
910
00:51:00,934 --> 00:51:03,604
I heard that.
Oh, I got a theory!
911
00:51:03,687 --> 00:51:04,813
- What's your theory, dawg?
912
00:51:04,896 --> 00:51:07,482
What if he like Tupac?
Not really dead.
913
00:51:07,565 --> 00:51:09,067
-Mmm.
-Still alive?
914
00:51:09,150 --> 00:51:10,986
- Alive!
915
00:51:13,029 --> 00:51:15,949
-They're not mine.
-I should hope not.
916
00:51:16,032 --> 00:51:18,785
That's a lot of dirty underpants
for one girl...
917
00:51:18,869 --> 00:51:21,454
-in a lot of different sizes.
-Yeah, I didn't do nothing.
918
00:51:21,537 --> 00:51:24,916
See, that's where our perspectives
start to diverge, Ruiz...
919
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,418
because the evidence says otherwise.
920
00:51:27,502 --> 00:51:28,754
Come on.
921
00:51:30,088 --> 00:51:31,757
Everyone knows that's Chapman's gig.
922
00:51:32,423 --> 00:51:33,925
- Chapman?
923
00:51:34,009 --> 00:51:37,721
Who started the very task force
that uncovered your illegal operation?
924
00:51:37,804 --> 00:51:40,390
I don't think so.
925
00:51:40,473 --> 00:51:43,059
That's it, isn't it, right?
926
00:51:43,143 --> 00:51:45,311
If I was white and blonde,
927
00:51:45,395 --> 00:51:48,564
you wouldn't think so about me, either.
928
00:51:48,649 --> 00:51:52,193
Well, that's some corrupt racist bullshit
you're runnin' 'round here.
929
00:51:53,319 --> 00:51:56,865
In light of your crimes...
I will be recommending
930
00:51:56,948 --> 00:52:00,869
that the judge add three to five years
to your sentence.
931
00:52:02,287 --> 00:52:04,205
Uh... what?
932
00:52:05,373 --> 00:52:08,168
Are you--
You can't do that.
933
00:52:09,169 --> 00:52:12,881
Come on, just send me to the SHU for
a couple of weeks and get it over with.
934
00:52:12,964 --> 00:52:16,718
It's fucking underwear!
We're not talking about drugs here! Jesus!
935
00:52:17,468 --> 00:52:18,553
That would be easy, right?
936
00:52:18,636 --> 00:52:21,347
Send you away for a couple weeks,
forget this ever happened.
937
00:52:22,223 --> 00:52:25,018
Well, that's not how things work
around here anymore, inmate.
938
00:52:25,518 --> 00:52:27,062
- You stole property...
939
00:52:27,145 --> 00:52:30,732
...from a private company
and started a for-profit business.
940
00:52:30,816 --> 00:52:33,401
You organized inmates.
941
00:52:33,484 --> 00:52:34,945
You ask me,
942
00:52:35,028 --> 00:52:37,613
-looks a whole lot like gang activity...
-Oh, come on.
943
00:52:37,698 --> 00:52:40,701
...which you would know a lot about,
wouldn't you?
944
00:52:40,784 --> 00:52:42,035
Isn't that the family business?
945
00:52:43,411 --> 00:52:45,914
You know what we do
with gang leaders, Ruiz?
946
00:52:46,998 --> 00:52:48,709
We make examples of 'em.
947
00:52:50,126 --> 00:52:53,171
So get back down there
and tell your muchachas
948
00:52:53,254 --> 00:52:55,173
how poor choices...
949
00:52:55,256 --> 00:52:56,299
can ruin a life.
950
00:52:57,759 --> 00:52:59,219
Maybe cry...
951
00:52:59,928 --> 00:53:01,262
'cause it's so sad.
952
00:53:15,110 --> 00:53:19,405
Just say thank you, and then get back
to being your cute, gruff self.
953
00:53:20,907 --> 00:53:23,910
-Excuse me?
-I solved your problem. Say thank you.
954
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:28,039
- What problem?
- With your little friend?
955
00:53:28,664 --> 00:53:29,665
I don't understand.
956
00:53:29,750 --> 00:53:31,709
Oh, honey.
957
00:53:31,793 --> 00:53:34,504
A little money and a good lawyer
go a long way.
958
00:53:34,587 --> 00:53:37,257
Then why are you in prison?
959
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:41,386
You don't wanna fuck with the IRS,
that's all I can tell you.
960
00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:43,764
So she's really comin' back?
961
00:53:43,847 --> 00:53:47,392
Ugh. Don't look at me
like I am some kind of saint.
962
00:53:48,226 --> 00:53:50,478
You're my only friend in here.
963
00:53:50,561 --> 00:53:53,231
I was not about to let you make
some kind of stupid decision
964
00:53:53,314 --> 00:53:55,691
and leave me here all by myself.
965
00:53:55,776 --> 00:53:57,819
Nor could I take your bellyaching anymore.
966
00:53:57,903 --> 00:54:00,113
--Two birds, one stone.
967
00:54:00,196 --> 00:54:02,740
Now, get over here.
968
00:54:02,824 --> 00:54:04,242
Have a seat.
969
00:54:05,326 --> 00:54:06,494
I'm-- I really shouldn't.
970
00:54:06,577 --> 00:54:09,747
If you close that door,
nobody will know you're in here.
971
00:54:17,005 --> 00:54:18,256
Oh, I'm sorry.
972
00:54:18,339 --> 00:54:20,341
Did I make it sound like you had a choice?
973
00:54:22,343 --> 00:54:23,845
I took care of you.
974
00:54:25,388 --> 00:54:28,266
Now you are gonna take care of me.
975
00:54:29,350 --> 00:54:31,311
Butterscotch.
976
00:54:52,082 --> 00:54:54,250
-Stay cool.
-What's happening?
977
00:54:54,334 --> 00:54:55,877
I was a shark.
978
00:54:55,961 --> 00:54:57,003
I made a move.
979
00:55:02,300 --> 00:55:05,595
I am going to bury you!
980
00:55:05,678 --> 00:55:09,140
You're never coming back from this.
Never.
981
00:55:16,231 --> 00:55:17,357
What did you do?
982
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:20,526
I had to protect my people.
983
00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:24,030
I had to.
984
00:55:28,201 --> 00:55:29,577
You okay?
985
00:55:34,540 --> 00:55:36,751
They're giving me more time.
986
00:55:36,834 --> 00:55:39,837
This bitch frames me,
and they're stealing my life.
987
00:55:39,921 --> 00:55:41,256
What? Over fucking panties?
988
00:55:41,339 --> 00:55:42,924
Yo, my baby girl's gonna be
in kindergarten
989
00:55:43,008 --> 00:55:44,634
by the time I get outta here now.
990
00:55:45,510 --> 00:55:46,719
That bitch is mine.
991
00:55:53,143 --> 00:55:55,270
Fuck it.
992
00:55:56,271 --> 00:55:58,356
-We goin' legit.
-Fuck, yeah.
993
00:55:58,439 --> 00:55:59,690
You talkin' 'bout drugs?
994
00:55:59,774 --> 00:56:01,734
-Yes, you idiot.
-All right.
995
00:56:01,817 --> 00:56:03,361
It's about time we was for real.
996
00:56:29,179 --> 00:56:30,430
I'm here about the thing.
997
00:56:34,642 --> 00:56:35,936
You understand the payment?
998
00:56:56,247 --> 00:56:58,166
Need your signature on this.
999
00:57:04,005 --> 00:57:05,048
Nichols?
1000
00:57:06,591 --> 00:57:07,800
Huh.
1001
00:57:08,718 --> 00:57:11,512
Well, my prodigal daughter returneth.
1002
00:57:25,193 --> 00:57:26,861
Payment first.
73188
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