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♪ If you want me to wait ♪
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00:00:57,944 --> 00:01:01,612
♪ I won't be made a fool ♪
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00:01:01,612 --> 00:01:05,152
♪ You better not be the bait ♪
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♪ Don't you know what you do ♪
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♪ For years you could've walked alone ♪
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♪ You made the choice ♪
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♪ You knew you had to keep your home ♪
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♪ Now you lose that comfort zone ♪
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♪ You've outgrown, and how you've flown ♪
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It all started
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with my dad's over 30 men's soccer league.
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Even though my dad's getting older,
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00:01:47,510 --> 00:01:50,782
he still thinks he can keep
up with the youngsters.
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00:01:50,782 --> 00:01:52,982
I guess it's a midlife
crisis kind of thing?
16
00:01:54,210 --> 00:01:56,330
Every Friday night,
the old men play soccer
17
00:01:56,330 --> 00:01:58,350
and afterwards they get
together for a few beers,
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00:01:58,350 --> 00:02:02,480
some wine, and hors
d'oeuvres with the wives.
19
00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,510
Normally they talk about
who's stepping out on who
20
00:02:04,510 --> 00:02:06,140
or how the economy is in the crapper,
21
00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:08,090
but for whatever ill-conceived reason
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00:02:08,090 --> 00:02:09,550
on the night of May 31st,
23
00:02:09,550 --> 00:02:12,300
they started talking about kids these days
24
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,440
and how the internet, mobile phones,
25
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,720
and digital revolution
is fracking their brains
26
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,560
and turning them into zombies,
27
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,150
rendering them unable to
personally interact with others
28
00:02:21,150 --> 00:02:23,720
and engage in meaningful conversations.
29
00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,050
In other words, they think
the move from the dinosaur age
30
00:02:26,050 --> 00:02:29,150
to the digital world has resulted
in the largest brain drain
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00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:30,920
in the history of mankind,
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00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:33,070
rendering us kiddos void of the ability
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00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,770
to emotionally connect with others
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00:02:34,770 --> 00:02:37,430
and unable to cope in a face to face world
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00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:40,970
without the crutch of our
beloved digital indulgences.
36
00:02:40,970 --> 00:02:43,260
Anyway, when the old man
and old lady get together
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00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:46,700
with some other antiques,
throw back a few adult bevs,
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00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:49,210
the results of the conversation
are typically harmless
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00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:51,870
and in almost every case meaningless.
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00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:55,133
Unless, of course, it
happens to be May 31st.
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00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:59,500
- Used to be when you'd
see a car weaving in
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00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:02,340
and out of lanes, there was a 99 % chance
43
00:03:02,340 --> 00:03:04,970
it was an old fart or a drunk driver.
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00:03:04,970 --> 00:03:07,510
These days it seems like it's a 90 % chance
45
00:03:07,510 --> 00:03:09,440
it's a teenager texting and driving.
46
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:10,830
- Exactly.
47
00:03:10,830 --> 00:03:12,540
My car almost got hit the other day
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00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:15,040
by a teen texting and driving.
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00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,300
And when I honked at him, he
gave me the one finger salute
50
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:19,600
and went right back to
texting and driving.
51
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,560
- You know, my kids can
even hardly cross the street
52
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,680
without texting or looking
at their cell phones.
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00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,040
I mean, they're oblivious
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00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,070
to everything going on around them.
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00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:29,560
Last week, Francois
almost got hit by a car
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00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,900
while he was crossing the street.
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00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:33,630
- You know, I read an article recently
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00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,650
that talked about college
kids having a hard time
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00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,180
getting jobs and the interview process
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00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:39,550
because they can't make eye contact.
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00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:42,040
They're so used to using
their phones to communicate,
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00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,570
they just forgot how to do
this sort of in person stuff.
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00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:47,800
And you know, the same article talked
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00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:51,550
about how they can't remember
seven numbers either.
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00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:55,180
- I still remember my phone
number from grade school.
66
00:03:55,180 --> 00:03:56,300
- So do I.
67
00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:58,763
I even remember some
of my friends' numbers.
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00:03:58,763 --> 00:03:59,810
- Look here, I still remember the number
69
00:03:59,810 --> 00:04:02,138
of that pizza place we used
to prank every other week.
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00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:08,873
- Yeah, back in the days before
caller ID, we had some fun.
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00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:11,270
I mean, you could prank
anyone without repercussions.
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00:04:11,270 --> 00:04:12,810
- I heard the most terrible thing
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00:04:12,810 --> 00:04:15,260
about Sally Staffordson's daughter.
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00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:19,330
Evidently her boyfriend,
all of three months,
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00:04:19,330 --> 00:04:22,530
asked her to text him a
nude photo of herself.
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00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:26,393
And this boy said it would
be for his eyes only.
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00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:31,690
- Tell me she did not
send him a nude photo.
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00:04:31,690 --> 00:04:32,523
- Yes, she did.
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00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:33,423
- Oh god.
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00:04:34,530 --> 00:04:37,730
- He then texted it on
to all of his friends,
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00:04:37,730 --> 00:04:40,570
who texted it on to all of their friends,
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00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:43,530
and now you have this photo
making its way around,
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00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:45,143
I mean, who knows, the world?
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00:04:46,190 --> 00:04:48,980
- I remember as a teenager,
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00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:51,610
the only way that I could
see a pair of boobs was
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00:04:51,610 --> 00:04:55,070
to sneak a peek at my
dad's Playboy magazine
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00:04:55,070 --> 00:04:56,690
when he was out of town.
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00:04:56,690 --> 00:04:59,050
Or, on a very rare occasion,
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00:04:59,050 --> 00:05:00,830
the Mrs. Robinson of our neighborhood
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00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:03,927
would leave the lights
on and the curtains up.
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00:05:04,961 --> 00:05:05,794
Yeah.
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00:05:06,650 --> 00:05:07,793
- Main engine.
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00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:12,660
- Solid rocket boosters, ignite.
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00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:14,723
- We have liftoff.
95
00:05:17,257 --> 00:05:21,170
- That was the best part of my youth.
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00:05:21,170 --> 00:05:23,560
- Yeah, but you know, there's
always the lingerie section
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00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,828
of the JC Penney catalog.
98
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:28,450
- Well, you all know
he's out there looking
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00:05:28,450 --> 00:05:30,659
for a Little Bo Peep outfit for himself.
100
00:05:32,607 --> 00:05:35,220
- All right, anyway, the point is
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00:05:36,110 --> 00:05:39,820
when we wanted to see some
boobies when we were teenagers,
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00:05:39,820 --> 00:05:41,380
we had to work at it.
103
00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:45,160
Whereas today on the internet
they hold nothing back.
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00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:48,110
I mean, if you wanted to see Doug
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00:05:48,110 --> 00:05:50,810
in his Little Bo Peep
outfit doing a whole bunch
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00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:54,090
of unnamely things with a
whole bunch of unnamely people,
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00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:55,790
well, you could certainly find it.
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00:05:57,010 --> 00:05:59,710
- I'm worried about the next
generation's social skills.
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00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:00,940
- Or lack thereof.
110
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:03,830
- Kids today ask each
other out by texting,
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00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,050
break up by texting.
112
00:06:06,050 --> 00:06:09,423
The majority of their
communication is done by texting.
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00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:14,260
- Can you just imagine
an entire generation
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00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:16,583
with limited or
underdeveloped social skills?
115
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:19,890
- It's really quite sad
when you think about it.
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00:06:19,890 --> 00:06:22,367
- Why don't we just take
their phones away from them?
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00:06:22,367 --> 00:06:24,150
- And the internet.
- And their video games.
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00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,950
- That'll go over like a lead balloon.
119
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:28,180
- I'm not saying take it away forever.
120
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:30,050
- But maybe for a month.
121
00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:34,653
- Yeah, like a 30 day respite
from, say, all electronics.
122
00:06:35,570 --> 00:06:38,400
- So it's like a digital detox of sorts.
123
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,970
- The only way this works
is if we're all on board.
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00:06:41,970 --> 00:06:44,890
We need to be a united force.
125
00:06:44,890 --> 00:06:46,470
- If any of us waver,
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00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:49,310
then this whole digital
detox is gonna blow up
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00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:51,140
and it will be a complete waste of time.
128
00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:53,160
- I have no problem taking the internet
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00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:54,853
and electronics away from Buford.
130
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:58,810
- So are we really gonna do this?
131
00:06:58,810 --> 00:07:00,293
Roy and Chandra, are you in?
132
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:06,953
- If Doug and Petra are in, then we're in.
133
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,030
- Yeah, we're in.
134
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,580
But maybe we oughta show
a sign of solidarity
135
00:07:12,580 --> 00:07:15,180
and do this, have a family get-together,
136
00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:17,810
maybe after the men's soccer
games the next four weeks?
137
00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:20,070
- Yeah, we could all take turns hosting
138
00:07:20,070 --> 00:07:22,030
and bring all the kids so they don't feel
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00:07:22,030 --> 00:07:23,320
like they're going through it alone.
140
00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:27,170
You know, I mean, they might
even learn some social skills.
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00:07:27,170 --> 00:07:28,003
- I like that.
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00:07:28,003 --> 00:07:31,260
Let's make the kids go
to both the soccer games
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00:07:31,260 --> 00:07:33,340
and the afterparty.
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00:07:33,340 --> 00:07:35,200
- Well, yeah, 'cause we
only got four weeks left
145
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,270
in the soccer season anyway, so.
146
00:07:37,270 --> 00:07:39,440
- All right, let's do it.
147
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,820
- That just leaves Steve and Marci.
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00:07:41,820 --> 00:07:43,294
- We're in.
149
00:07:43,294 --> 00:07:44,552
All right.
150
00:07:44,552 --> 00:07:45,885
30 days.
151
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:53,220
Okay, so at this point,
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00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:55,060
I majorly hate the antiques.
153
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:58,460
My life is ruined at the tender age of 16.
154
00:07:58,460 --> 00:08:00,980
I've been hobbled by my own parents.
155
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:03,830
Seriously, what am I supposed
to do for the next 30 days?
156
00:08:05,670 --> 00:08:08,713
Oh god, I can just imagine my life now.
157
00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:12,600
- Are you selling lemonade?
158
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:13,533
- Kind of.
159
00:08:15,070 --> 00:08:16,300
- How much is it?
160
00:08:16,300 --> 00:08:18,080
- Well, you see, I'm not
really selling it for money,
161
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,910
I'm more bartering for it.
162
00:08:20,910 --> 00:08:22,700
- Bartering for what?
163
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:24,780
- Well, you see, I'll
give you and your kiddos
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00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:28,680
as much lemonade as you want if you, say,
165
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,840
let me use your cell phone for a bit?
166
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,840
- Oh, you need to make a call.
167
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:33,820
- Yeah, that'd be great
168
00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:35,510
if I had all my friends'
phone numbers memorized,
169
00:08:35,510 --> 00:08:36,570
but who does that?
170
00:08:36,570 --> 00:08:39,260
So I was thinking maybe I
could just play Candy Crush
171
00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:40,640
or Flappy Bird for a while,
172
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,820
or you know, maybe take
selfie, that'd be good too.
173
00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:46,900
- Why I would I want a picture
of your selfie on my phone?
174
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:48,910
- Well, I just haven't
taken one in a while
175
00:08:48,910 --> 00:08:51,720
and maybe I'm having
withdrawal pains or something.
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00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,600
Please, won't you help me?
177
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,570
- I'm sorry, we can't help you.
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00:08:55,570 --> 00:08:56,780
- Candy Crush?
179
00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:58,100
- I'm sorry.
180
00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,030
Flappy Bird?
181
00:08:59,030 --> 00:08:59,963
- Not today.
182
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:08,020
Is this really happening?
183
00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:10,090
The old man and old lady
have gone off the deep end
184
00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:11,240
without their floaties.
185
00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:14,420
Maybe if I make their
lives miserable enough,
186
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,290
they'll undo this misdeed?
187
00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:17,340
- You know we love you
188
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:20,300
but if you try to make our lives miserable
189
00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:22,080
in any way, shape, or form,
190
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,310
I'm gonna be adding 30 days
191
00:09:23,310 --> 00:09:25,879
to this little digital-free
journey of yours.
192
00:09:27,082 --> 00:09:27,915
All right then.
193
00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,810
Can someone please pull
out the wooden stake
194
00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:33,570
that Daddy just drove into my
precious and innocent heart?
195
00:09:33,570 --> 00:09:35,810
Nothing good can come of this.
196
00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:38,570
I can only imagine how the
others are going to take it.
197
00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:40,800
I don't even hang with any of them.
198
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,110
You got the jock, Buford,
199
00:09:42,110 --> 00:09:44,660
who seems to be every bit
of an athletic supporter.
200
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:46,880
The cheerleader, Olivia,
201
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,730
who has said exactly two words
to me since freshman year.
202
00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:53,580
The rocker, Bentley, who clearly
lives in a different world
203
00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:54,900
than the rest of us.
204
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:56,820
And the French kid, Francois,
205
00:09:56,820 --> 00:09:59,090
who puts the D in dork and the G in geek
206
00:09:59,090 --> 00:10:01,240
and appears to be scared
of his own shadow.
207
00:10:02,890 --> 00:10:04,500
And it doesn't help Francois
208
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:07,653
that his parents unknowingly
hosed him with their last name.
209
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,210
- All right, quiet down, quiet down.
210
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,680
Wanna welcome a couple new students here
211
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,970
to sophomore art at Parker High.
212
00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:16,600
Let's see here, Samantha D'Armin.
213
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:17,460
Are you here?
214
00:10:17,460 --> 00:10:18,840
Samantha, stand on up.
215
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,500
Everybody, let's welcome
Samantha to the class.
216
00:10:24,971 --> 00:10:26,830
Okay, that's enough, that's enough.
217
00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:28,513
Let's see, who else?
218
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,883
Francis.
219
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,083
- It's actually Francois.
220
00:10:34,836 --> 00:10:35,669
- Francois, yes.
221
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:36,630
Francois...
222
00:10:39,717 --> 00:10:40,647
Buttwipe?
223
00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:45,153
- No, it's Butwipee?
224
00:10:47,637 --> 00:10:49,941
- Boot, butt, whippy?
225
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,285
Buttwipe?
226
00:10:51,285 --> 00:10:52,118
Buttwipay?
227
00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:54,603
- Butwipee.
228
00:10:54,603 --> 00:10:55,570
It's a French name.
229
00:10:55,570 --> 00:10:57,753
- Welcome to Parker High, Buttwipe.
230
00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:00,590
- Enough, Buford, enough.
231
00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:02,743
Okay.
232
00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:07,640
Need I say more?
233
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,970
From that day forward,
Francois was known as Buttwipe.
234
00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:12,840
Although he was a super dweeb
235
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,230
and as low on the popularity
gauge as you could go,
236
00:11:15,230 --> 00:11:17,330
he had the most popular nickname
237
00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:19,790
of anyone in the entire high school.
238
00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:20,623
I even think some
239
00:11:20,623 --> 00:11:22,847
of the teachers secretly
called him Buttwipe.
240
00:11:24,499 --> 00:11:26,700
- Do you have this Buttwipe
kid in class this year?
241
00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:31,410
- Well, I think Buttwipe is
in all college class prep.
242
00:11:31,410 --> 00:11:32,510
- Hopefully makes him smart.
243
00:11:32,510 --> 00:11:34,939
- Well, it's hard to tell at this point.
244
00:11:34,939 --> 00:11:35,772
- Is he gonna graduate this year?
245
00:11:35,772 --> 00:11:38,800
- Well, not if he keeps
getting stuffed into lockers.
246
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,419
So there you have it.
247
00:11:40,419 --> 00:11:44,183
A jocker, a rocker, a tight
crotch, and a beeyotch.
248
00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:48,370
The question remains, how are
these four fellow students
249
00:11:48,370 --> 00:11:50,940
going to handle the crap
slap coming their way?
250
00:11:50,940 --> 00:11:53,173
And how much grief am
I going to get for it?
251
00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:56,410
- Buford, come down.
252
00:11:56,410 --> 00:11:58,330
Your father and I would
like to talk to you.
253
00:11:58,330 --> 00:12:00,300
Mom, come on, the game's on.
254
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,350
I'll come down later.
255
00:12:02,630 --> 00:12:04,730
- We really would like to talk to you now.
256
00:12:04,730 --> 00:12:06,510
But Mom, it's
the fourth quarter and--
257
00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:08,330
- Get your ass down here now.
258
00:12:08,330 --> 00:12:09,163
- Coming.
259
00:12:17,660 --> 00:12:18,700
What is it?
260
00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:20,280
- Well, honey, your dad and I
261
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,490
and some friends were talking and--
262
00:12:22,490 --> 00:12:24,570
- We're taking away all
your electronic devices,
263
00:12:24,570 --> 00:12:27,100
your cell phone, your
internet for next 30 days.
264
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:28,390
- What did I do wrong?
265
00:12:28,390 --> 00:12:29,750
- Hey, hey, hey.
266
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,973
End of story, deal with it.
267
00:12:33,850 --> 00:12:34,920
- Yeah?
268
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,130
Olivia, dear, may we come in?
269
00:12:37,130 --> 00:12:39,030
- Yeah, I'm just painting my toenails.
270
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:46,220
- Sweetheart, you know your father
271
00:12:46,220 --> 00:12:48,160
and I love you very much, right?
272
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,410
- Oh god, are you guys getting a divorce?
273
00:12:50,410 --> 00:12:52,560
Because that's exactly
what Cynthia's parents said
274
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,543
right before they tore her world apart.
275
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,340
- No, pumpkin, we're
not getting a divorce.
276
00:12:57,340 --> 00:12:59,090
Your mother and I love
each other very much.
277
00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:01,580
- Did someone die or one of you sick?
278
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,230
- No, everything is fine.
279
00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:04,720
No one is dying or sick.
280
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,823
We just need to talk with you for a bit.
281
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,210
Is this about sex?
282
00:13:09,210 --> 00:13:11,310
Because that would be really creepy
283
00:13:11,310 --> 00:13:12,900
and a little bit awkward for both of you
284
00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:15,040
to be in here talking to
me about it right now.
285
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,740
- No, pumpkin, we want to
talk to you about your phone
286
00:13:17,740 --> 00:13:18,920
and the internet.
287
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,550
- See, sweetheart, we were
at the Meadows' house.
288
00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:26,410
- Wait, as in Normandy
Meadows' parents' house?
289
00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:29,130
Are these the Meadows we're referring to?
290
00:13:29,130 --> 00:13:30,560
- Yes.
291
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,570
- That child of theirs is so odd.
292
00:13:32,570 --> 00:13:34,280
Who names their kid Normandy?
293
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,640
I mean, I get Mandy, even
Norman if she were a boy,
294
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:38,610
but Normandy?
295
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:41,370
- Well, honey, this isn't about her name.
296
00:13:41,370 --> 00:13:42,610
Like your father said,
297
00:13:42,610 --> 00:13:46,180
this is about your cell
phone and the internet.
298
00:13:46,180 --> 00:13:48,970
- I promise I won't text and drive.
299
00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:50,480
- Well, we had a little
something else in mind.
300
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:51,860
You see, there was a
bunch of us over there
301
00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:56,160
at the house the other
night and we decided--
302
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:57,200
As a group.
303
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,470
- Yeah, as a group, to have
our children experience
304
00:13:59,470 --> 00:14:00,940
what it's like to be without mobile phone,
305
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:03,720
video games, or internet access.
306
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:04,803
For 30 days.
307
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:07,200
COL, honey.
308
00:14:08,912 --> 00:14:11,800
You mean LOL, honey.
309
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,190
This is obviously a joke.
310
00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:15,577
- No, I mean COL.
311
00:14:17,018 --> 00:14:17,851
- COL?
312
00:14:19,220 --> 00:14:20,513
What does that even mean?
313
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:22,523
- Cry out loud.
314
00:14:28,779 --> 00:14:30,071
- Why do I have to?
315
00:14:37,316 --> 00:14:38,149
- Bentley?
316
00:14:38,149 --> 00:14:40,057
- Bentley, honey?
317
00:14:40,057 --> 00:14:40,890
- Bentley.
318
00:14:47,733 --> 00:14:48,566
- Sup?
319
00:14:48,566 --> 00:14:52,940
- Well, honey, some friends
of Daddy and I were talking
320
00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:56,230
and we thought it might be a good idea
321
00:14:56,230 --> 00:15:00,660
if you used your electronic
devices a bit less.
322
00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:05,660
You know, like your cellular
device and the interweb
323
00:15:05,910 --> 00:15:10,910
and the digital webnet
bandwidth megs floppy...
324
00:15:14,610 --> 00:15:16,520
- Stop, please.
325
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:17,930
Please stop.
326
00:15:17,930 --> 00:15:19,980
Stop trying to talk tech, please.
327
00:15:19,980 --> 00:15:21,550
My ears are burning.
328
00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:24,440
You're butchering every
tech term known to man.
329
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:25,870
Seriously, dudes?
330
00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:27,220
What are you trying to say?
331
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:31,610
- Well, honey, what we're
trying to say is that--
332
00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:34,320
- What your mother and I are saying is
333
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,790
we think it'd be best
if you were to refrain
334
00:15:37,790 --> 00:15:40,203
from electronics for a period of time.
335
00:15:41,450 --> 00:15:44,340
- And why on God's green
earth would I do that?
336
00:15:44,340 --> 00:15:46,210
Ever heard of self-inflicted wounds?
337
00:15:46,210 --> 00:15:49,290
Yeah, it's basically
the same thing, peeps.
338
00:15:49,290 --> 00:15:53,330
- Well, honey, you don't
have to do this alone.
339
00:15:53,330 --> 00:15:56,130
- Listen, if you guys wanna
forgo this digital fruit,
340
00:15:56,130 --> 00:15:59,050
then by all means, knock yourselves out.
341
00:15:59,050 --> 00:16:00,400
- We're not talking about us.
342
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,920
We're talking about you
and some of your classmates
343
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,563
going through this unplugged experiment?
344
00:16:07,010 --> 00:16:10,340
- Listen, if any of my
lame classmates wants
345
00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:13,913
to do some digital retreat,
then that's their problem.
346
00:16:14,810 --> 00:16:16,990
But I need my fix.
347
00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:17,823
- Honey.
348
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,290
We're here for you, you know that.
349
00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:23,960
- Please, you are
invading my personal space
350
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:28,060
and filling my free-spirited
head with nauseating thoughts.
351
00:16:28,060 --> 00:16:30,650
- Look, son, we knew this
would be difficult for you
352
00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:33,960
so to make it easier on us,
while you were sleeping,
353
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,440
we confiscated your cellular phone
354
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,460
and your ePad device and
called the cable company
355
00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:44,000
and temporarily disconnected the interweb
356
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,900
and blogosphere and all your techsations?
357
00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:47,980
- Seriously?
358
00:16:47,980 --> 00:16:50,600
How long must I suffer
through this mayhem?
359
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,330
Like, a few days?
360
00:16:52,330 --> 00:16:53,530
A week?
361
00:16:53,530 --> 00:16:54,930
What are we talking here?
362
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:55,963
- 30 days, son.
363
00:16:58,740 --> 00:16:59,573
- What the?
364
00:17:00,550 --> 00:17:01,550
- Hey, come on outside.
365
00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:03,230
It's so nice out here,
let's sit on the deck.
366
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:05,380
- Sounds good, let me
call Francois up here.
367
00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:06,660
- Great.
368
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:09,110
Francois, come
on up here for a second.
369
00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:21,310
- What did you want?
370
00:17:22,451 --> 00:17:23,750
- Well, your father and I met
371
00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:26,930
with a group of parents the
other night from his soccer team
372
00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:29,700
and we all thought it might be a good idea
373
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:33,440
for our kids to go
without their cell phones,
374
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:37,103
their video games, and the
internet for the next 30 days.
375
00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:40,030
- And we'd just make a
social event out of it
376
00:17:40,030 --> 00:17:41,990
after the game on Friday nights.
377
00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:43,610
- Are there gonna be any girls involved
378
00:17:43,610 --> 00:17:45,670
in this Friday night social thing?
379
00:17:45,670 --> 00:17:47,120
- Yes.
380
00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:50,620
There's that Normandy girl and then,
381
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:52,240
who's the cheerleader?
382
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,113
- Olivia Miller.
383
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:57,603
- Will Mrs. Miller also be there?
384
00:17:58,550 --> 00:18:01,793
- Yes, Mrs. Miller would
also be part of the group.
385
00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:04,813
- I'm in.
386
00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:17,440
- As I sit here in digital-less purgatory
387
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,930
with nothing to do, I find
myself staring at my grandmother.
388
00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:25,130
You know, I never really look
looked at her in a long time.
389
00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:27,670
I feel bad seeing her getting old.
390
00:18:27,670 --> 00:18:28,930
She's always been good to me
391
00:18:28,930 --> 00:18:32,090
and she by far is the
best friend I've ever had.
392
00:18:32,090 --> 00:18:35,140
In a weird way, I almost feel guilty.
393
00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:37,640
In the past few years,
I've been preoccupied
394
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,370
and not as attentive to
her as I should have been.
395
00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:42,460
When did she get so pale?
396
00:18:42,460 --> 00:18:45,290
Looks like she's not
seen the sun in years.
397
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,960
And where did all those
wrinkles come from?
398
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,870
At that moment, I realized that my grandma
399
00:18:49,870 --> 00:18:51,683
had been punked by Father Time.
400
00:19:11,292 --> 00:19:15,720
So this is what I have to look
forward to when I'm older.
401
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,483
Pale, gray, and wrinkly,
just like Granny Chick.
402
00:19:22,056 --> 00:19:23,170
I sit here staring at my grandmother
403
00:19:23,170 --> 00:19:26,553
as a witness to the ravages
of time, no flour needed.
404
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,620
I know you can't stop the hand of time
405
00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:30,940
but as sure I am sitting here,
406
00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:33,490
I am going to do what I can
to see my grandma go out
407
00:19:33,490 --> 00:19:35,320
with a bang and not a fizzle.
408
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:36,653
Screw you, Father Time.
409
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,290
Hey, Gramster.
410
00:19:39,290 --> 00:19:40,690
- Yes, Mandy?
411
00:19:40,690 --> 00:19:43,083
- How about we take a
girls' day out today?
412
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:44,873
- Really?
413
00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:48,160
- I don't see any reason why we wouldn't.
414
00:19:50,124 --> 00:19:51,710
- I'd love to!
415
00:19:51,710 --> 00:19:53,770
Are you sure you're okay, Mandy?
416
00:19:53,770 --> 00:19:54,680
- Never felt better.
417
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,593
Now let's get rocking, Granny Chick.
418
00:19:58,088 --> 00:20:00,717
You're on, Mandy Chick.
419
00:20:07,969 --> 00:20:10,902
♪ This town is burning ♪
420
00:20:10,902 --> 00:20:14,856
♪ But I'm afraid to step out on my own ♪
421
00:20:14,856 --> 00:20:19,856
♪ I'm afraid to be alone ♪
422
00:20:20,009 --> 00:20:23,097
♪ And my heart is beating ♪
423
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:27,111
♪ Right about to jump out of my chest ♪
424
00:20:27,111 --> 00:20:32,111
♪ But I don't know what's best for me ♪
425
00:20:33,267 --> 00:20:35,222
♪ No ♪
426
00:20:35,222 --> 00:20:38,206
♪ One shot, you can take it, oh ♪
427
00:20:38,206 --> 00:20:41,051
♪ One heart maybe you'll break it but go ♪
428
00:20:41,051 --> 00:20:46,051
♪ 'Cause these days you
don't get second chances ♪
429
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:50,036
♪ This life, you wanna live it light ♪
430
00:20:50,036 --> 00:20:53,013
♪ But this time you gotta do it right ♪
431
00:20:53,013 --> 00:20:57,730
♪ 'Cause these days you
don't get second chances ♪
432
00:20:57,730 --> 00:21:02,730
♪ Get second chances ♪
433
00:21:02,973 --> 00:21:05,497
♪ Whoa ♪
434
00:21:05,497 --> 00:21:10,497
♪ These days you don't
get second chances ♪
435
00:21:11,515 --> 00:21:14,281
♪ This night is restless ♪
436
00:21:14,281 --> 00:21:18,105
♪ But I've got a burning in my bones ♪
437
00:21:18,105 --> 00:21:23,105
♪ I need to step in the unknown ♪
438
00:21:23,478 --> 00:21:26,439
♪ What if I don't make it ♪
439
00:21:26,439 --> 00:21:30,275
♪ What if I come toppling from up high ♪
440
00:21:30,275 --> 00:21:33,948
♪ Well, at least I'll know I tried ♪
441
00:21:33,948 --> 00:21:38,469
♪ I've gotta try, yeah ♪
442
00:21:38,469 --> 00:21:41,495
♪ One shot, you can take it, oh ♪
443
00:21:41,495 --> 00:21:44,398
♪ One heart, maybe
you'll break it but go ♪
444
00:21:44,398 --> 00:21:49,398
♪ 'Cause these days you
don't get second chances ♪
445
00:21:50,544 --> 00:21:53,441
♪ One shot, you can take it, oh ♪
446
00:21:53,441 --> 00:21:56,381
♪ One heart, maybe
you'll break it but go ♪
447
00:21:56,381 --> 00:22:01,381
♪ 'Cause these days you
don't get second chances ♪
448
00:22:02,594 --> 00:22:05,545
♪ This life, you wanna live it light ♪
449
00:22:05,545 --> 00:22:08,441
♪ But this time you gotta do it right ♪
450
00:22:08,441 --> 00:22:13,128
♪ 'Cause these days you
don't get second chances ♪
451
00:22:13,128 --> 00:22:16,211
♪ Get second chances ♪
452
00:22:18,460 --> 00:22:22,250
Mandy, I'm
not so sure about this.
453
00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:24,303
- Come on, Granny Chick, hand it over.
454
00:22:24,303 --> 00:22:25,360
When this is all said and done,
455
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:26,530
if Grandpa still has it in him,
456
00:22:26,530 --> 00:22:28,183
well, you'll see soon enough.
457
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:33,620
Dang, Granny Chick, I had
no idea you were rockin' Ds.
458
00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:37,043
You should have
seen me back in the day.
459
00:22:37,043 --> 00:22:39,340
My boobs were large enough
460
00:22:39,340 --> 00:22:42,320
to create their own gravitational pull
461
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:46,750
and I had no shortage
of young men orbiting.
462
00:22:46,750 --> 00:22:49,500
- Granny Chick, you little minx.
463
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:51,880
Got that right, Mandy.
464
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:55,460
- Oh, here comes Pam-Pam
the spray tan ma'am.
465
00:22:55,460 --> 00:22:57,740
You better say something
before she opens the curtain
466
00:22:57,740 --> 00:23:00,620
so she knows you're really alive in there.
467
00:23:00,620 --> 00:23:02,380
I bet she hasn't seen
anyone as pale as you
468
00:23:02,380 --> 00:23:03,670
unless they were dead.
469
00:23:03,670 --> 00:23:05,073
I'm not that pale.
470
00:23:05,990 --> 00:23:07,550
- You make the Pillsbury Dough Boy look
471
00:23:07,550 --> 00:23:09,130
like the tanning mom.
472
00:23:09,130 --> 00:23:13,160
Hey, listen, she's as pale
as a 10 day old corpse
473
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:15,330
but I assure you she's still alive.
474
00:23:15,330 --> 00:23:17,100
She has wrinkles on her wrinkles
475
00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:19,870
and her boobs are probably
touching her knees.
476
00:23:19,870 --> 00:23:21,210
Oh, and one more thing?
477
00:23:21,210 --> 00:23:24,710
There's a fairly decent
possibility she's wearing a diaper
478
00:23:24,710 --> 00:23:26,950
so fair warning on the freak out meter.
479
00:23:26,950 --> 00:23:29,360
Let's just take a deep breath,
maintain our composure,
480
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:30,560
and get this thing done.
481
00:23:31,990 --> 00:23:33,920
What's wrong, honey?
482
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,240
Haven't you ever seen a pair
483
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:39,210
of 44D low rider raisin titties?
484
00:23:39,210 --> 00:23:42,100
Now snap out of it and do your thing
485
00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:46,027
before I show you how to
fill a pair of adult diapers
486
00:23:46,027 --> 00:23:48,194
with a steaming pile of...
487
00:23:50,330 --> 00:23:52,550
- Got Granny Chick the
clothes, got her a tan,
488
00:23:52,550 --> 00:23:54,640
and now only one item left on my list
489
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,100
to perfecta my trifecta.
490
00:23:57,100 --> 00:24:00,260
You ever wondered why so many
older women have blue hair?
491
00:24:00,260 --> 00:24:02,950
At what point in their
life did they decide,
492
00:24:02,950 --> 00:24:05,380
you know, I'm tired of being a blonde
493
00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:07,370
or a redhead or a brunette.
494
00:24:07,370 --> 00:24:10,270
You know, I think I'm going
to go for a hair color change.
495
00:24:10,270 --> 00:24:13,120
And of all the colors
in the color spectrum,
496
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,310
I'm choosing to go blue.
497
00:24:15,310 --> 00:24:17,350
Seriously, even punk rockers never made
498
00:24:17,350 --> 00:24:18,980
a decisive move to blue.
499
00:24:18,980 --> 00:24:20,260
You had your pink and your purple
500
00:24:20,260 --> 00:24:21,610
and occasionally some blue,
501
00:24:21,610 --> 00:24:25,550
but not an all-out full
unadulterated commitment to blue.
502
00:24:25,550 --> 00:24:27,310
And some of these grannies
have been sporting blue
503
00:24:27,310 --> 00:24:29,030
for 10 to 15 years.
504
00:24:29,030 --> 00:24:31,420
What gives, are they color blind?
505
00:24:31,420 --> 00:24:32,253
When you get up in age,
506
00:24:32,253 --> 00:24:35,160
do you lose the ability
to see the color blue?
507
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,473
Or all the beauty salons are
in on the same sick plot?
508
00:24:39,740 --> 00:24:40,573
Or maybe the Blue Man Group is
509
00:24:40,573 --> 00:24:43,690
behind a giant hypnotic scheme
to use unaware old ladies
510
00:24:43,690 --> 00:24:45,573
as some sort of advertising gimmick.
511
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:49,430
Pardon me, ma'am.
512
00:24:49,430 --> 00:24:51,060
Can you tell me what color this is?
513
00:24:51,060 --> 00:24:54,230
- What are you asking
me this question for?
514
00:24:54,230 --> 00:24:55,870
- Pardon me, ma'am.
515
00:24:55,870 --> 00:24:57,583
Can you tell me what color this is?
516
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,840
Has anyone from the Blue
Man Group contacted you
517
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,163
in the past, say, 10 years
that you're aware of?
518
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:12,720
Oh, and by the way,
519
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:14,440
you wouldn't happen to have
a cell phone I could borrow,
520
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,570
would ya?
521
00:25:15,570 --> 00:25:17,700
If you're a senior woman
and you're within the sound
522
00:25:17,700 --> 00:25:20,100
of my voice, it's time to fight back.
523
00:25:20,100 --> 00:25:22,820
Become a trendsetter and
think outside the box.
524
00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:26,410
Go with green, orange, any
hair color except for blue.
525
00:25:26,410 --> 00:25:28,360
Even going back to your natural hair color
526
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,360
is better than blue.
527
00:25:30,540 --> 00:25:33,760
Don't let these hair
practitioners punk you any longer.
528
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:37,470
Please, on behalf of myself
and society as a whole,
529
00:25:37,470 --> 00:25:38,303
lose the blue.
530
00:25:39,170 --> 00:25:40,510
Enough of the hair scare.
531
00:25:40,510 --> 00:25:41,563
Time to cowgirl up.
532
00:25:48,810 --> 00:25:50,530
Hey, enough with the fake dog poop prank.
533
00:25:50,530 --> 00:25:52,600
First three times, okay, it was funny.
534
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,760
But the last 45 times, it's been annoying.
535
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:57,300
Now, without further ado,
536
00:25:57,300 --> 00:26:00,040
I would like to present to
you the new and improved,
537
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:01,753
one and only Granny Chick.
538
00:26:07,010 --> 00:26:08,510
- Jumping Jehosaphat, Mandy,
539
00:26:08,510 --> 00:26:10,253
you took 40 years off that woman.
540
00:26:11,230 --> 00:26:13,380
Young lady, would you like to go
541
00:26:13,380 --> 00:26:16,340
to a movie and dinner with me tonight?
542
00:26:16,340 --> 00:26:18,680
- It's a date, Romeo.
543
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:19,840
- I'm gonna go get ready.
544
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,933
I feel like I've gone back
in time to high school.
545
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:30,080
- Oh, Granny Chick.
546
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,049
It's so great to see Grandpa so happy.
547
00:26:32,049 --> 00:26:33,640
So, so great.
548
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,532
- It'll be good to see
him sport wood again too.
549
00:26:38,450 --> 00:26:41,470
- I could have gone the rest
of my life without that visual.
550
00:26:41,470 --> 00:26:43,560
Dang, Granny Chick, what gives?
551
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,283
I am mentally scarred for life.
552
00:26:46,550 --> 00:26:49,920
The upside is I have my dad's
boring soccer game tonight
553
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:51,630
and I get to hang out with four people
554
00:26:51,630 --> 00:26:53,850
that I don't really know or care for,
555
00:26:53,850 --> 00:26:56,230
one of which hates me for reasons unknown.
556
00:26:56,230 --> 00:26:58,503
Yep, that's me, living the dream.
557
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,046
All right, doofus, why
are you staring at me?
558
00:27:04,046 --> 00:27:05,850
Because it's gone past
the point of annoying
559
00:27:05,850 --> 00:27:08,750
and I'm getting ready to
either rip out your eyeballs
560
00:27:08,750 --> 00:27:10,150
and stuff them into your rectum
561
00:27:10,150 --> 00:27:12,940
so you can get a bird's eye
view of what an ass you're being
562
00:27:12,940 --> 00:27:15,040
or punch in the tube steak.
563
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:16,930
I haven't made up my mind yet.
564
00:27:16,930 --> 00:27:17,763
- Oh.
565
00:27:18,690 --> 00:27:20,150
I'm sorry, I wasn't staring at you.
566
00:27:20,150 --> 00:27:25,150
I was actually staring at
that red-breasted nuthatch.
567
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:28,637
It looks like it's like
an inch off of your head
568
00:27:28,637 --> 00:27:31,003
and 30 degrees off of your ear.
569
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,010
- Now I don't know if I should be happy
570
00:27:35,010 --> 00:27:36,060
that he's not staring at me
571
00:27:36,060 --> 00:27:38,560
or pissed that he's not staring at me.
572
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,320
How lame is it that I'm even having
573
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,780
this mentally taxing
dilemma on a Friday night
574
00:27:42,780 --> 00:27:45,380
about the real intentions
of a Speedo-wearing dweeb?
575
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:50,700
How long until you finish
studying the intricacies
576
00:27:50,700 --> 00:27:52,860
of the migratory diphthong theorem?
577
00:27:52,860 --> 00:27:55,130
Because if it's gonna be much longer,
578
00:27:55,130 --> 00:27:57,130
I'm really thinking about
taking a cheese grater
579
00:27:57,130 --> 00:27:59,370
to my eyeballs and, wait,
580
00:27:59,370 --> 00:28:00,990
why are you sitting next to me anyway
581
00:28:00,990 --> 00:28:03,953
instead of with the pork sword consortium?
582
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,120
Oh, I don't
really fit in with them.
583
00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:11,093
I don't really fit in anywhere.
584
00:28:12,036 --> 00:28:14,700
- Aw, don't be so hard on yourself, champ.
585
00:28:14,700 --> 00:28:17,180
I'm sure you can find a
group of Speedo-wearing guys
586
00:28:17,180 --> 00:28:20,270
to pal around with and
compare banana hammocks.
587
00:28:20,270 --> 00:28:21,590
- Banana hammocks?
588
00:28:21,590 --> 00:28:22,940
- Think about it, Einstein.
589
00:28:27,170 --> 00:28:29,660
- It's a European thing, I'm French.
590
00:28:29,660 --> 00:28:32,150
- They need to change
the name of that thing.
591
00:28:32,150 --> 00:28:33,535
- And call it what?
592
00:28:33,535 --> 00:28:34,952
- To a Speedon't.
593
00:28:38,185 --> 00:28:41,090
Oh, I see, yeah.
594
00:28:41,090 --> 00:28:44,590
You got a funny way with words.
595
00:28:44,590 --> 00:28:47,040
No, but there aren't actually a lot
596
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:50,080
of banana hammock-wearing
guys around here,
597
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:51,360
but that would be a very strange reason
598
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:52,810
to hang around anyone anyway.
599
00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:55,380
- I'm just kidding, B-berry.
600
00:28:55,380 --> 00:28:56,713
- Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
601
00:28:58,110 --> 00:29:01,617
I guess I just need to
work on my sense of humor.
602
00:29:06,057 --> 00:29:06,974
- You suck!
603
00:29:07,929 --> 00:29:09,262
That's bullshit!
604
00:29:15,138 --> 00:29:17,403
- I'm just better off not
saying anything at all.
605
00:29:18,418 --> 00:29:19,415
I'm such an ass.
606
00:29:19,415 --> 00:29:22,870
♪ I'm gonna have a meltdown ♪
607
00:29:22,870 --> 00:29:23,710
- I saw what you did.
608
00:29:23,710 --> 00:29:26,000
That was intentional, you D-bag.
609
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:26,833
- It was an accident.
610
00:29:26,833 --> 00:29:29,380
Nothing to see here, move along now.
611
00:29:29,380 --> 00:29:30,213
- You think you're tough?
612
00:29:30,213 --> 00:29:31,670
You're not tough at all.
613
00:29:31,670 --> 00:29:33,640
You are so inferior to
these other players,
614
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,770
you feel like you have to
cheat to make up for it?
615
00:29:35,770 --> 00:29:37,243
Where does that sense of
inferiority come from,
616
00:29:37,243 --> 00:29:39,120
because you're hung like a light switch?
617
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:39,953
- Yeah, right.
618
00:29:39,953 --> 00:29:41,437
You couldn't tell the difference
between a light switch
619
00:29:41,437 --> 00:29:43,920
and a field mouse.
620
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,640
- Oh, so you're hung like a field mouse,
621
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:46,900
is that what you're saying?
622
00:29:46,900 --> 00:29:48,630
- No, that's not what I'm saying.
623
00:29:48,630 --> 00:29:50,550
- So light switch then?
624
00:29:50,550 --> 00:29:53,340
- Yes, I mean, no, no, not a light switch.
625
00:29:53,340 --> 00:29:54,173
- Make up your mind.
626
00:29:54,173 --> 00:29:55,830
Are you hung like a light
switch or a field mouse,
627
00:29:55,830 --> 00:29:56,663
which one is it?
628
00:29:56,663 --> 00:29:57,760
- Neither, none.
629
00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:59,010
- So you're not hung at all?
630
00:29:59,010 --> 00:30:01,140
Are you concave then?
631
00:30:01,140 --> 00:30:02,830
Just listening to you debate with yourself
632
00:30:02,830 --> 00:30:04,490
over whether you're hung
like a light switch,
633
00:30:04,490 --> 00:30:07,060
a field mouse, or nothing
at all leads me to conclude
634
00:30:07,060 --> 00:30:10,310
that you're about as bright
as 12 midnights in a closet.
635
00:30:10,310 --> 00:30:12,240
Ma'am, you're gonna
have to leave the field.
636
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,700
- I just saw you take
out my dad, you doorknob.
637
00:30:14,700 --> 00:30:16,300
You think you have to resort to cheating
638
00:30:16,300 --> 00:30:18,300
and causing physical
harm to take out players
639
00:30:18,300 --> 00:30:19,133
who are better than you.
640
00:30:19,133 --> 00:30:21,150
You know, players who
run circles around you?
641
00:30:21,150 --> 00:30:22,590
- Miss, you're going to
have to leave the field.
642
00:30:22,590 --> 00:30:25,060
- I'm sorry, was I talking
while you were interrupting?
643
00:30:25,060 --> 00:30:26,267
- You're going to have to leave the field.
644
00:30:26,267 --> 00:30:28,888
- Why is this ass gasket
still on the field?
645
00:30:28,888 --> 00:30:29,721
Drag him off the field already.
646
00:30:29,721 --> 00:30:30,790
- Since when do you pull a yellow card
647
00:30:30,790 --> 00:30:32,700
for full on red card infraction?
648
00:30:32,700 --> 00:30:35,820
You know, a vicious and
intentional take-down?
649
00:30:35,820 --> 00:30:37,570
Are yellow cards all you carry?
650
00:30:37,570 --> 00:30:39,740
You even have a red card in there?
651
00:30:39,740 --> 00:30:42,470
You need to throw this
ball slapper off the field
652
00:30:42,470 --> 00:30:43,303
and out of the league.
653
00:30:43,303 --> 00:30:44,750
- You need to leave the field, please.
654
00:30:44,750 --> 00:30:46,750
- I'll leave the field
when you do your job
655
00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:48,773
and throw this off the field.
656
00:30:50,130 --> 00:30:52,250
Oh, so you do have a red card.
657
00:30:52,250 --> 00:30:55,370
You just choose to use
it on 16 year old girls
658
00:30:55,370 --> 00:30:57,850
instead of maliciously violent
659
00:30:57,850 --> 00:31:00,210
just out of prison type players.
660
00:31:00,210 --> 00:31:01,989
You were in prison, right?
661
00:31:01,989 --> 00:31:02,903
Come on, ref, let's go!
662
00:31:02,903 --> 00:31:03,736
Just got out last week.
663
00:31:03,736 --> 00:31:05,690
- Yeah, I can see the
rope marks on your neck.
664
00:31:05,690 --> 00:31:06,523
- What rope marks?
665
00:31:06,523 --> 00:31:07,356
I was just kidding.
666
00:31:07,356 --> 00:31:08,300
- Soap on a rope rope marks,
667
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:10,350
which by the way are a clear indicator
668
00:31:10,350 --> 00:31:11,930
that you were a repeat offender.
669
00:31:11,930 --> 00:31:13,720
- You need to leave the field now.
670
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,243
- There, how do you like that?
671
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,020
May not be red yet
672
00:31:19,020 --> 00:31:21,600
but you're obviously on the
rag, so you can have it.
673
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,870
- Miss, you're going to
have to leave the field.
674
00:31:23,870 --> 00:31:25,180
- You go, girl.
675
00:31:25,180 --> 00:31:27,370
- You need to kick this
mule-slapping short arm
676
00:31:27,370 --> 00:31:31,360
off the field or, or I'm gonna lick this.
677
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:32,193
- You wouldn't.
678
00:31:32,193 --> 00:31:33,050
- She's not gonna lick it.
679
00:31:33,050 --> 00:31:34,400
Let's get on with the game.
680
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,700
Touched your tongue to that, you're crazy.
681
00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:39,920
- Crazy, huh?
682
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:40,753
That wasn't crazy.
683
00:31:40,753 --> 00:31:41,883
You wanna see crazy?
684
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:55,183
Hey, ye of small mind
and penis, that'd be you,
685
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,230
no one does that to my
dad and gets away with it,
686
00:31:59,230 --> 00:32:00,743
not while I'm in the stands.
687
00:32:01,946 --> 00:32:03,620
And next time our team plays yours,
688
00:32:03,620 --> 00:32:06,460
I'm gonna be here and I'm
gonna be looking for you.
689
00:32:06,460 --> 00:32:09,270
You think licking dog crap is crazy?
690
00:32:09,270 --> 00:32:11,650
Next time if you show up,
691
00:32:11,650 --> 00:32:14,300
I'm gonna show you the real
meaning of what crazy is.
692
00:32:19,890 --> 00:32:20,960
- Okay, it's time to eat.
693
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:22,710
Who wants burgers, who wants dogs?
694
00:32:22,710 --> 00:32:23,680
Buford, what can I get you?
695
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,090
I'll take two of each, please.
696
00:32:25,090 --> 00:32:26,900
- Bentley, honey, what would you like?
697
00:32:26,900 --> 00:32:28,350
I think
I'll dog it out tonight
698
00:32:28,350 --> 00:32:30,690
with a double header, if you don't mind.
699
00:32:30,690 --> 00:32:33,003
- Translation, he'll have two hot dogs.
700
00:32:34,730 --> 00:32:35,563
Olivia?
701
00:32:35,563 --> 00:32:37,040
One dog, please.
702
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,490
- Francois?
703
00:32:38,490 --> 00:32:41,100
Burger, please,
with cheese if you have it.
704
00:32:41,100 --> 00:32:42,473
- Oh, we have cheese, son.
705
00:32:43,430 --> 00:32:44,850
And Normandy, that leaves you.
706
00:32:44,850 --> 00:32:46,280
What can I get you, young lady?
707
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,140
Dog, please.
708
00:32:48,140 --> 00:32:51,428
- It'll be good to see
him sport wood again too.
709
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:54,800
I changed my mind.
710
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,080
Make it a burger, please?
711
00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:00,113
- But honey, your favorite
has always been hot dogs.
712
00:33:01,380 --> 00:33:02,880
Thanks to
that disturbing visual
713
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,540
that is burned into my
still-developing brain,
714
00:33:05,540 --> 00:33:07,280
I am no longer to eat any foods
715
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,310
that have the shape of a phallic symbol.
716
00:33:09,310 --> 00:33:10,150
This is crazy.
717
00:33:10,150 --> 00:33:12,730
No more hot dogs, sausages, or brats.
718
00:33:12,730 --> 00:33:15,060
No more popsicles,
carrots, cucumbers, squash,
719
00:33:15,060 --> 00:33:16,760
zucchini, French bread.
720
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,530
How can a few stupid
words cobbled together
721
00:33:18,530 --> 00:33:19,410
in a sentence create
722
00:33:19,410 --> 00:33:22,190
such a strong, albeit disturbing, visual
723
00:33:22,190 --> 00:33:24,300
that I can't seem to get out of my brain?
724
00:33:24,300 --> 00:33:25,820
I am putting an end to this.
725
00:33:25,820 --> 00:33:27,920
I need to hit the delete button right now.
726
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,810
- Yo, girl, take it easy.
727
00:33:33,810 --> 00:33:35,003
Happy to share.
728
00:33:35,930 --> 00:33:38,203
Didn't know you had the munchies.
729
00:33:38,203 --> 00:33:40,400
- I don't have the munchies, Zeppelin.
730
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,350
I just needed to take
a bite of that hot dog
731
00:33:42,350 --> 00:33:43,700
at the very moment.
732
00:33:43,700 --> 00:33:45,960
Nothing to see here, carry on.
733
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:47,700
Odd much?
734
00:33:47,700 --> 00:33:49,900
- Yes, as a matter of fact, I am odd much.
735
00:33:49,900 --> 00:33:51,460
And you know what?
736
00:33:51,460 --> 00:33:52,610
I don't have a problem with it
737
00:33:52,610 --> 00:33:54,710
and I'll be the first to admit it.
738
00:33:54,710 --> 00:33:56,830
You realize in two years of high school,
739
00:33:56,830 --> 00:33:59,510
you've now spoken a sum
total of four words to me?
740
00:33:59,510 --> 00:34:02,850
Congratulations, this
represents a 100 % increase
741
00:34:02,850 --> 00:34:04,830
in word volume since the
first time you spoke to me,
742
00:34:04,830 --> 00:34:08,490
so we are making significant progress.
743
00:34:08,490 --> 00:34:09,900
- Whatever.
744
00:34:09,900 --> 00:34:10,740
- Whoa there, Madonna.
745
00:34:10,740 --> 00:34:13,110
That's another 25 %.
746
00:34:13,110 --> 00:34:15,040
At this rate, you stand a decent chance
747
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:18,690
of speaking a full sentence
to me in four years
748
00:34:18,690 --> 00:34:21,020
and a paragraph in 11.
749
00:34:21,020 --> 00:34:22,583
Oh, suspense is killing me.
750
00:34:25,670 --> 00:34:27,260
- That's a lot of trophies over there.
751
00:34:27,260 --> 00:34:29,410
I didn't know you were a bull rider.
752
00:34:29,410 --> 00:34:31,630
- Nope, those are my pop's.
753
00:34:31,630 --> 00:34:33,320
- He was a bull rider?
754
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:34,153
- Yeah.
755
00:34:34,153 --> 00:34:36,390
He won the circuit like six times.
756
00:34:36,390 --> 00:34:39,360
He was national champion three times,
757
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:41,160
back before the sport paid anything.
758
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:47,400
- My dad was a bullfighter
in Spain for a year
759
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,980
and then he got a work visa
760
00:34:49,980 --> 00:34:51,360
in the States for like two years
761
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:56,360
and he was, during his
stay, he was a rodeo clown.
762
00:34:56,490 --> 00:34:58,350
And before he moved back to France
763
00:34:58,350 --> 00:34:59,390
and then he married my mom
764
00:34:59,390 --> 00:35:01,070
and then he moved back to the States.
765
00:35:01,070 --> 00:35:04,280
And that was all before
he got into medicine.
766
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:07,210
- Yeah, yeah, that's quite a leap.
767
00:35:07,210 --> 00:35:08,513
Rodeo clown to medicine?
768
00:35:09,420 --> 00:35:10,253
- Yeah.
769
00:35:10,253 --> 00:35:12,540
I don't suppose that he ever did anything
770
00:35:12,540 --> 00:35:14,660
with the clown thing.
771
00:35:14,660 --> 00:35:17,893
But yeah, he doesn't have
any trophies like your dad.
772
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,510
- So, Normandy.
773
00:35:22,510 --> 00:35:24,250
Why'd your parents come
up with this lame idea
774
00:35:24,250 --> 00:35:26,450
to send us back to the Dark Ages?
775
00:35:26,450 --> 00:35:27,790
- Well, you see, Roid Rage,
776
00:35:27,790 --> 00:35:29,500
wasn't so much my 'rents' idea
777
00:35:29,500 --> 00:35:32,270
as it was the brainchild
of a Wayne and Crystal
778
00:35:32,270 --> 00:35:34,440
who just so happen to have
the same last name as you.
779
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:37,460
So if you want to point the
finger and lay the blame,
780
00:35:37,460 --> 00:35:38,930
I'd suggest you look no further
781
00:35:38,930 --> 00:35:41,213
than your very own moms and pops.
782
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:44,280
- Oh, I'll point the finger all right.
783
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,410
- Nice to see your caveman
heritage is nice and intact.
784
00:35:47,410 --> 00:35:49,059
You know, it's getting
a little chilly in here.
785
00:35:49,059 --> 00:35:51,300
Do you think you could make
us a fire with some sticks?
786
00:35:51,300 --> 00:35:52,750
- I got a stick for you.
787
00:35:52,750 --> 00:35:54,470
- Oh, I don't see how a
toothpick could give us
788
00:35:54,470 --> 00:35:56,633
much of a spark, hashtag cromag.
789
00:35:57,481 --> 00:35:59,530
Damn, Norm.
790
00:35:59,530 --> 00:36:02,040
You've got a sharp tongue on you, girl.
791
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:05,060
- Yeah, we saw that tongue in
action on the soccer field.
792
00:36:05,060 --> 00:36:05,940
- Yeah, dude.
793
00:36:05,940 --> 00:36:08,360
I was LMFAO big time.
794
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,470
- Normandy, you were amazing.
795
00:36:10,470 --> 00:36:11,903
- Thanks, Grape Smuggler.
796
00:36:16,809 --> 00:36:17,642
- So.
797
00:36:19,341 --> 00:36:21,280
What do you guys wanna do
for the rest of the night?
798
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:22,683
- Slit my wrist.
799
00:36:26,370 --> 00:36:27,400
- We're all eyes.
800
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,713
Well, everyone except for
Nugget Hug-it over there.
801
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:34,993
- What?
802
00:36:34,993 --> 00:36:36,690
I thought that she was gonna do it.
803
00:36:36,690 --> 00:36:38,310
- And why would you think that?
804
00:36:38,310 --> 00:36:40,790
Have you never heard of sarcasm?
805
00:36:40,790 --> 00:36:43,360
- Well, I just figured you're always
806
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:44,193
in a bad mood all the time.
807
00:36:44,193 --> 00:36:47,350
I just thought that you
were depressed or something.
808
00:36:47,350 --> 00:36:48,900
- I'm not always in a bad mood.
809
00:36:48,900 --> 00:36:51,150
Just when I'm around people like you guys.
810
00:36:51,150 --> 00:36:52,810
I mean, why would our parents force us
811
00:36:52,810 --> 00:36:54,100
into this lame get-together
812
00:36:54,100 --> 00:36:56,630
with people we have absolutely
nothing in common with?
813
00:36:56,630 --> 00:36:59,540
I just cannot wait until my
30 day incarceration's over
814
00:36:59,540 --> 00:37:00,940
and then the soccer season ends
815
00:37:00,940 --> 00:37:02,440
and then we can go our separate ways
816
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:04,170
and never have to speak again.
817
00:37:04,170 --> 00:37:05,310
- I just figured that we might as well
818
00:37:05,310 --> 00:37:07,160
make the most of it or something.
819
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,000
- Make the most of what?
820
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,670
Do you realize that no one here likes you?
821
00:37:11,670 --> 00:37:13,900
Buford stuffs you in a locker for fun,
822
00:37:13,900 --> 00:37:16,040
Bentley and you have
absolutely nothing in common,
823
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:17,560
and I doubt you've ever spoken
824
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,730
outside of this lame forced get-together.
825
00:37:19,730 --> 00:37:20,563
For me?
826
00:37:20,563 --> 00:37:22,730
Me and my friends would never
consider even hanging out
827
00:37:22,730 --> 00:37:24,040
with someone like you.
828
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:25,560
Normandy, well, hell.
829
00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,930
I don't even know what's
going on inside of her brain
830
00:37:27,930 --> 00:37:30,440
but my guess is you guys
have never had a conversation
831
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,420
outside of this as well.
832
00:37:32,420 --> 00:37:34,040
- I just thought that--
833
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:35,130
- You just thought what?
834
00:37:35,130 --> 00:37:38,450
That we were gonna hold hands
and sing kumbaya together?
835
00:37:38,450 --> 00:37:40,130
Get real, Buttwipe.
836
00:37:40,130 --> 00:37:41,373
- That's Butwipee.
837
00:37:43,100 --> 00:37:45,610
- You know, as much as I hate to say this
838
00:37:45,610 --> 00:37:49,060
and agree with Olivia,
she's probably right.
839
00:37:49,060 --> 00:37:50,610
I mean, after we get done
840
00:37:50,610 --> 00:37:52,610
with these last three soccer games,
841
00:37:52,610 --> 00:37:53,590
I don't think the five of us
842
00:37:53,590 --> 00:37:55,490
will ever talk to each other again.
843
00:37:55,490 --> 00:37:57,030
- No shit, Sherlock.
844
00:37:57,030 --> 00:37:58,900
So let's quit pretending this is anything
845
00:37:58,900 --> 00:38:00,580
other than what it actually is.
846
00:38:00,580 --> 00:38:02,880
As far as I'm concerned,
you guys can count me out
847
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,630
of all your meaningless conversations
848
00:38:04,630 --> 00:38:06,053
for the next three weeks.
849
00:38:08,190 --> 00:38:09,160
And that's how we ended
850
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,980
the first mandatory Friday night shindig.
851
00:38:11,980 --> 00:38:13,610
Mark June 7th off the list
852
00:38:13,610 --> 00:38:15,290
and banish it to the history books.
853
00:38:15,290 --> 00:38:17,370
One down, three to go.
854
00:38:17,370 --> 00:38:20,340
Next week, it's over to Olivia's house.
855
00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:22,163
Yippee-kiyay.
856
00:38:26,690 --> 00:38:28,740
- No idea they even made houses this big.
857
00:38:29,730 --> 00:38:31,210
- What's it like living
858
00:38:31,210 --> 00:38:34,540
in a modern day castle, Queen Olivia?
859
00:38:34,540 --> 00:38:35,980
- Well, it's actually more
fun when you're little
860
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:37,890
and you get to play hide and go seek.
861
00:38:37,890 --> 00:38:41,180
Once you get older, it's
just more housework.
862
00:38:41,180 --> 00:38:42,360
- Oh, come on.
863
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:43,800
You're saying that you do housework?
864
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,663
Like you don't have a maid, or three?
865
00:38:47,630 --> 00:38:49,680
- No, we don't have a maid.
866
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,610
My parents think that if
you live in a house too big
867
00:38:51,610 --> 00:38:54,180
to take care of yourself,
you should get a smaller one,
868
00:38:54,180 --> 00:38:55,290
so we do it all ourselves.
869
00:38:55,290 --> 00:38:57,603
We don't even have lawn
service or a pool guy.
870
00:38:58,610 --> 00:39:00,090
- Heck, we have lawn service
871
00:39:00,090 --> 00:39:03,140
and our house is 1/10 the size of yours.
872
00:39:03,140 --> 00:39:04,027
- Yeah, we got a pool guy
873
00:39:04,027 --> 00:39:06,960
and you could fit five
pools in your one pool.
874
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,390
- Sounds like your parents
are pretty well-grounded.
875
00:39:09,390 --> 00:39:11,120
- I don't think my home
life is much different
876
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:12,180
than you guys.
877
00:39:12,180 --> 00:39:13,220
I have chores.
878
00:39:13,220 --> 00:39:15,120
I have to make dinner twice a week
879
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,330
and I even have to clean the
toilets every 3rd of the month.
880
00:39:18,330 --> 00:39:20,940
Plus I buy my own clothes.
881
00:39:20,940 --> 00:39:21,930
- Well, hell.
882
00:39:21,930 --> 00:39:24,800
I mean, I've never
cleaned a toilet before.
883
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:26,160
- I don't have to buy my clothes.
884
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:28,890
- I think people just assume
that I get everything handed
885
00:39:28,890 --> 00:39:31,940
to me because we live in a big
house in a gated community.
886
00:39:31,940 --> 00:39:34,370
But every single designer
piece of clothing I own,
887
00:39:34,370 --> 00:39:36,300
I buy with my own money.
888
00:39:36,300 --> 00:39:38,330
Of course, with the
exception of a few pieces
889
00:39:38,330 --> 00:39:39,290
I borrow from my mom.
890
00:39:39,290 --> 00:39:40,123
- Your mom.
891
00:39:42,543 --> 00:39:43,810
Your mom.
892
00:39:43,810 --> 00:39:47,690
She is one fine-looking lady.
893
00:39:47,690 --> 00:39:49,350
- Easy there, horndog.
894
00:39:49,350 --> 00:39:51,870
You have no clue how many
times I've heard that before.
895
00:39:51,870 --> 00:39:53,660
Every single guy I've dated acted
896
00:39:53,660 --> 00:39:55,750
like they were more into my mom than me.
897
00:39:55,750 --> 00:39:57,973
I mean, good for her for staying in shape,
898
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:01,410
but I guess just sometimes I wish
899
00:40:01,410 --> 00:40:02,940
she was just an average mom.
900
00:40:02,940 --> 00:40:05,210
Well, if
this isn't just a cluster.
901
00:40:05,210 --> 00:40:07,250
Olivia's ruining my ability and desire
902
00:40:07,250 --> 00:40:09,310
to insult her the way I want to.
903
00:40:09,310 --> 00:40:11,300
I had no idea she did manual labor
904
00:40:11,300 --> 00:40:13,250
and paid for her own threads.
905
00:40:13,250 --> 00:40:15,750
Maybe that's why she's in
a bad mood all the time.
906
00:40:17,860 --> 00:40:21,410
- So you have any brothers or sisters?
907
00:40:21,410 --> 00:40:23,470
- Two older brothers, one older sister,
908
00:40:23,470 --> 00:40:25,180
a sister two years younger than me,
909
00:40:25,180 --> 00:40:26,870
and a six month old brother.
910
00:40:26,870 --> 00:40:30,163
What is this anyway, Ask
Olivia 1,000 Questions Night?
911
00:40:32,410 --> 00:40:33,923
- Nice snart, Buford.
912
00:40:35,082 --> 00:40:36,150
- Snart?
913
00:40:36,150 --> 00:40:37,123
What's a snart?
914
00:40:38,510 --> 00:40:39,923
A sneeze and a fart.
915
00:40:42,130 --> 00:40:43,333
- In that case, gezuntoot.
916
00:40:45,020 --> 00:40:46,123
- That's disgusting.
917
00:40:48,470 --> 00:40:51,890
- Olivia, you have a
six month old brother.
918
00:40:51,890 --> 00:40:53,450
What happened there?
919
00:40:53,450 --> 00:40:55,280
- Not what you think, Guido.
920
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,810
My mom and dad adopted a baby from Russia
921
00:40:57,810 --> 00:41:01,550
before Vladimir Putin signed
the US anti-adoption bill.
922
00:41:01,550 --> 00:41:06,030
- That Vlad needs to grab
ankles and remove head.
923
00:41:06,030 --> 00:41:07,740
- Yes, he does.
924
00:41:07,740 --> 00:41:09,363
Along with a few other people.
925
00:41:10,290 --> 00:41:12,993
- Why would someone sign
such an asinine bill anyway?
926
00:41:13,900 --> 00:41:16,440
- Good question, Dong Holster.
927
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,160
- Hey, oh, where's the closest bathroom?
928
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:20,620
- Through the kitchen,
you'll see a hallway.
929
00:41:20,620 --> 00:41:23,550
Take your first right,
then your second left.
930
00:41:23,550 --> 00:41:25,210
Try not to touch anything.
931
00:41:25,210 --> 00:41:28,430
- Will do, Your Majesty.
932
00:41:28,430 --> 00:41:29,433
- Rock on.
933
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:36,140
- How many bathrooms do you have?
934
00:41:36,140 --> 00:41:38,413
- Six full, four half, all with bidets.
935
00:41:39,602 --> 00:41:42,920
- You have more half baths
than we have full bathrooms.
936
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:44,040
What's a bidet?
937
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:44,940
- We have those in France.
938
00:41:44,940 --> 00:41:47,290
It's actually a good idea.
939
00:41:47,290 --> 00:41:48,810
It's a lot like the drinking fountains
940
00:41:48,810 --> 00:41:51,850
that we have at school
except a bidet comes up
941
00:41:51,850 --> 00:41:53,473
from inside of the toilet.
942
00:41:54,330 --> 00:41:55,980
That way, whenever you're thirsty,
943
00:41:55,980 --> 00:41:58,503
you could take a refreshing
drink of cold water.
944
00:42:00,150 --> 00:42:03,050
- Damn, Europeans think of everything.
945
00:42:03,050 --> 00:42:04,460
I gotta check this out.
946
00:42:04,460 --> 00:42:05,710
Is there another restroom that, you know,
947
00:42:05,710 --> 00:42:07,340
Bentley's not using?
948
00:42:07,340 --> 00:42:08,173
- Yeah.
949
00:42:08,173 --> 00:42:09,930
Go through the kitchen,
take your first left,
950
00:42:09,930 --> 00:42:11,740
then your first right.
951
00:42:11,740 --> 00:42:13,460
Don't
forget to try the bidet.
952
00:42:13,460 --> 00:42:14,903
Stay thirsty, my friend!
953
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:17,080
- Good one, Schlong Thong.
954
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:18,780
I didn't know you were so devious.
955
00:42:19,700 --> 00:42:22,720
Hey, Olivia, mind if I take a
look around the first floor?
956
00:42:22,720 --> 00:42:24,470
Never been inside a house this big.
957
00:42:25,530 --> 00:42:27,503
I promise not to steal anything.
958
00:42:28,353 --> 00:42:30,053
- We have security cameras anyway.
959
00:42:31,010 --> 00:42:32,733
- I was only kidding.
960
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:35,203
- I'm sure.
961
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:41,113
- So Olivia,
962
00:42:43,250 --> 00:42:44,623
tell me about your mom.
963
00:43:00,339 --> 00:43:03,769
♪ Sleep, little baby, don't you cry ♪
964
00:43:03,769 --> 00:43:07,391
♪ Everything's gonna be all right ♪
965
00:43:07,391 --> 00:43:10,936
♪ Listen to this lullaby ♪
966
00:43:10,936 --> 00:43:15,186
♪ Hush, little baby, don't you cry ♪
967
00:43:31,420 --> 00:43:32,890
- Great.
968
00:43:32,890 --> 00:43:34,053
What is this all about?
969
00:43:34,964 --> 00:43:37,264
Never had water come out
of my eyes like this.
970
00:43:38,610 --> 00:43:41,560
Who let a guy like Bentley get to me?
971
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:43,810
I never would have discovered
he had a tender side
972
00:43:43,810 --> 00:43:46,383
if I hadn't been forced
into this stupid situation.
973
00:43:47,590 --> 00:43:49,130
For the rest of my life,
I would have seen Bentley
974
00:43:49,130 --> 00:43:52,830
as nothing more than a
pill-popping, dope-smoking,
975
00:43:52,830 --> 00:43:54,643
hard core party rocker.
976
00:43:55,892 --> 00:43:57,020
How was I supposed to
know he was a hard rocker
977
00:43:57,020 --> 00:43:58,453
with a soft heart?
978
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:09,160
Damn, Nugent, you scared
the hell out of me.
979
00:44:11,050 --> 00:44:14,680
I had something in my eye,
I was trying to wash it out.
980
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:15,630
- Here, let me see.
981
00:44:16,530 --> 00:44:18,160
- Oh, no, I'm sure it'll work its way out.
982
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,010
I flushed it with some water.
983
00:44:20,010 --> 00:44:23,923
I flushed both eyes with
water, it's an allergy thing.
984
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:25,713
- I don't mind.
985
00:44:26,619 --> 00:44:27,452
- Oh.
986
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:31,253
I don't see anything.
987
00:44:32,530 --> 00:44:35,503
You know, I never noticed
how beautiful your eyes are.
988
00:44:36,500 --> 00:44:39,380
- Yeah, well, I never
noticed that you wear cologne
989
00:44:39,380 --> 00:44:41,490
or that your teeth were movie star white
990
00:44:41,490 --> 00:44:43,840
and perfectly straight,
or that you had a soul,
991
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:46,147
so I guess we're even now.
992
00:44:46,147 --> 00:44:49,070
Now what do you say we go back outside
993
00:44:49,070 --> 00:44:51,590
before someone comes
to the wrong conclusion
994
00:44:51,590 --> 00:44:52,670
or gets the wrong impression,
995
00:44:52,670 --> 00:44:55,000
because that would be like insane?
996
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:56,630
- Why would that be insane?
997
00:44:56,630 --> 00:44:58,790
- Well, you know, look at us.
998
00:44:58,790 --> 00:45:01,140
We aren't exactly what
people would consider...
999
00:45:02,230 --> 00:45:03,823
Let's go back out there, sport.
1000
00:45:05,050 --> 00:45:07,720
- For the record, I've never smoked pot,
1001
00:45:07,720 --> 00:45:11,340
nor have I done any kind of
illicit drug of any type.
1002
00:45:11,340 --> 00:45:13,720
People just assume that
because I have long hair
1003
00:45:13,720 --> 00:45:18,210
and because I dress this way
that I engage in that activity.
1004
00:45:18,210 --> 00:45:19,110
But it's not true.
1005
00:45:21,130 --> 00:45:23,003
- You heard what I said in there.
1006
00:45:24,420 --> 00:45:25,620
- I did.
1007
00:45:25,620 --> 00:45:28,840
- Like everything I said?
1008
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:29,673
- Yep.
1009
00:45:29,673 --> 00:45:30,506
- Shit, if you ever--
1010
00:45:30,506 --> 00:45:32,990
- Don't worry, I won't say anything.
1011
00:45:32,990 --> 00:45:34,270
As long as you don't tell anyone
1012
00:45:34,270 --> 00:45:35,940
about what I did back there.
1013
00:45:35,940 --> 00:45:38,530
You know, singing to the baby and all?
1014
00:45:38,530 --> 00:45:40,093
I do have an image to maintain.
1015
00:45:41,180 --> 00:45:42,170
- Pinky oath.
1016
00:45:44,430 --> 00:45:46,528
- We have to seal it with a kiss.
1017
00:45:46,528 --> 00:45:47,361
Funny.
1018
00:45:47,361 --> 00:45:48,433
- No, seriously.
1019
00:45:50,410 --> 00:45:53,300
- No, you have to be off
your hard rock rocker.
1020
00:45:53,300 --> 00:45:54,908
- The only way to make it official is
1021
00:45:54,908 --> 00:45:56,200
to seal it with a kiss.
1022
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:58,150
It doesn't have to be
on the lips or anything.
1023
00:45:58,150 --> 00:46:00,120
It can be on the cheek.
1024
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:03,723
But those are the pinky swear
rules I honor and respect.
1025
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:07,290
- Right now, I so much
want to make some crack
1026
00:46:07,290 --> 00:46:08,990
that he must have dropped too much acid
1027
00:46:08,990 --> 00:46:10,680
or must be hallucinating on shrooms,
1028
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,840
but now that I know he's never used drugs,
1029
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:14,560
it makes it very difficult
1030
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:16,840
to react the way I normally would.
1031
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,180
This is the second time
tonight a stereotype turned out
1032
00:46:19,180 --> 00:46:21,520
to be false and it is
seriously dampening my ability
1033
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:24,123
to verbally insult at the
high level I am used to.
1034
00:46:25,110 --> 00:46:29,130
You are such a dork.
1035
00:46:29,130 --> 00:46:30,660
And I'm forced to resort to that.
1036
00:46:30,660 --> 00:46:31,533
How lame.
1037
00:46:35,740 --> 00:46:36,573
- Right here.
1038
00:46:38,180 --> 00:46:39,933
This is bullshit, you know.
1039
00:46:44,890 --> 00:46:47,993
- Yeah, that wasn't so bad, was it?
1040
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:52,080
- Smooth move, Ozzie.
1041
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:55,830
Ozzie without the drugs,
of course, clean Ozzie.
1042
00:46:55,830 --> 00:46:57,250
Very clean, oh, wow.
1043
00:46:57,250 --> 00:46:59,110
- Right, clean Ozzie.
1044
00:46:59,110 --> 00:46:59,943
I got it.
1045
00:46:59,943 --> 00:47:02,900
- And if you ever pull
anything like that on me again,
1046
00:47:02,900 --> 00:47:03,900
you're gonna be singing soprano
1047
00:47:03,900 --> 00:47:05,310
for the rest of your life, you hear?
1048
00:47:05,310 --> 00:47:06,993
Uh huh, think about that.
1049
00:47:10,890 --> 00:47:13,140
- Hey, guys, we're down
here in the basement.
1050
00:47:23,700 --> 00:47:28,223
- Well, I guess we made
it to the halfway point.
1051
00:47:29,886 --> 00:47:33,603
Other than learning how to use
a European drinking fountain,
1052
00:47:35,112 --> 00:47:36,860
I don't think I learned
anything more about any of you
1053
00:47:36,860 --> 00:47:39,410
than I did when I started
this whole shitstorm.
1054
00:47:39,410 --> 00:47:40,630
- I have an idea.
1055
00:47:40,630 --> 00:47:43,680
Why don't we all tell
something about ourselves
1056
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:45,480
that no one else knows?
1057
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,743
- Sounds like a lame game, Buttwipe.
1058
00:47:49,890 --> 00:47:51,490
- I agree.
1059
00:47:51,490 --> 00:47:54,750
- Why is it that rockers and
jockers have such a hard time
1060
00:47:54,750 --> 00:47:56,300
revealing anything about themselves
1061
00:47:56,300 --> 00:47:59,020
that might not fit their
self-prophetical molds?
1062
00:47:59,020 --> 00:47:59,853
- What?
1063
00:47:59,853 --> 00:48:02,090
No, I don't have a problem with it.
1064
00:48:02,090 --> 00:48:04,570
I just happen to think it's stupid
1065
00:48:04,570 --> 00:48:07,030
and I don't have any
prophylactic mold on me.
1066
00:48:07,030 --> 00:48:08,350
- Have you ever stepped out
1067
00:48:08,350 --> 00:48:10,530
of your personal clique of friends?
1068
00:48:10,530 --> 00:48:13,360
- Uh, I do plenty of stuff
1069
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:17,200
and I have plenty of friends
outside of my usual group.
1070
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:18,033
- Really?
1071
00:48:18,950 --> 00:48:19,783
Name two.
1072
00:48:19,783 --> 00:48:20,950
- Name two what?
1073
00:48:20,950 --> 00:48:23,530
- All right, outside your usual group,
1074
00:48:23,530 --> 00:48:26,340
you know, jock straps are us,
1075
00:48:26,340 --> 00:48:29,260
give us the names of two
people you hang out with.
1076
00:48:29,260 --> 00:48:31,450
- Leo and Jen.
1077
00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:32,990
- Last names?
1078
00:48:32,990 --> 00:48:36,860
- DiCaprio and Aniston.
1079
00:48:36,860 --> 00:48:39,550
- You're really sharp as
a marble, aren't you now?
1080
00:48:39,550 --> 00:48:40,803
- Busted, dude.
1081
00:48:43,604 --> 00:48:45,180
- You know, and so what?
1082
00:48:45,180 --> 00:48:47,000
So what if I don't hang around people
1083
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:48,500
outside my usual group?
1084
00:48:48,500 --> 00:48:50,690
I mean, I bet none of you do either.
1085
00:48:50,690 --> 00:48:51,523
And what does that have to do
1086
00:48:51,523 --> 00:48:53,708
with Buttwipe's lame idea anyway?
1087
00:48:53,708 --> 00:48:55,380
- I happen to think Sperm
Tourniquet here came up
1088
00:48:55,380 --> 00:48:56,410
with a good idea.
1089
00:48:56,410 --> 00:48:58,230
- Norm, you are killing me.
1090
00:48:58,230 --> 00:48:59,890
You've amassed a plethora of names
1091
00:48:59,890 --> 00:49:01,830
for Guido the Speedo over there.
1092
00:49:01,830 --> 00:49:03,250
You know, I'm keeping track of these
1093
00:49:03,250 --> 00:49:05,030
and I'm planning on
writing a song about them.
1094
00:49:05,030 --> 00:49:06,890
- Knock yourself out, Jim Morrison.
1095
00:49:06,890 --> 00:49:08,410
- Well, sorry for the lame idea.
1096
00:49:08,410 --> 00:49:11,030
I was just trying to get
a conversation going.
1097
00:49:11,030 --> 00:49:13,560
- So why don't you start then, Francis?
1098
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:16,653
- Something about me
that nobody else knows.
1099
00:49:18,170 --> 00:49:19,470
Oh, okay.
1100
00:49:19,470 --> 00:49:22,413
I am a third degree
martial arts black belt.
1101
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:27,320
Seriously.
1102
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,180
- So why didn't you kick my ass
1103
00:49:29,180 --> 00:49:31,850
the last 20 times I
shoved you into a locker?
1104
00:49:31,850 --> 00:49:33,400
- I was hoping that you would mature
1105
00:49:33,400 --> 00:49:36,549
and see bullying for what it really is.
1106
00:49:36,549 --> 00:49:41,060
- Listen, Buttwipe, I
think you're full of shit.
1107
00:49:41,060 --> 00:49:44,013
- Sorry you don't believe
me but I speak the truth.
1108
00:49:47,385 --> 00:49:48,760
- You could have told a
bit less of a whopper.
1109
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:51,040
Sure, these aren't the
sharpest knives in the drawer
1110
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:51,880
and you could have gotten away
1111
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:53,870
with more than a little embellishment,
1112
00:49:53,870 --> 00:49:56,280
but you fell well within the margins
1113
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:58,780
of even their mental
limitations with that.
1114
00:49:58,780 --> 00:50:01,280
- So Normandy, why don't
you tell us something
1115
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:03,960
about yourself that no one else knows?
1116
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:06,343
- Well, let's see.
1117
00:50:07,570 --> 00:50:09,170
I can run a four minute mile.
1118
00:50:09,170 --> 00:50:11,540
- Oh, I call bullshit on that one.
1119
00:50:11,540 --> 00:50:14,380
I didn't know this was who
could tell the biggest lie.
1120
00:50:14,380 --> 00:50:16,300
I mean, you can hardly walk
1121
00:50:16,300 --> 00:50:20,330
and chew bubblegum at the
same time, let alone run.
1122
00:50:20,330 --> 00:50:23,610
- Yeah, the only thing running
on you, Normandy Meadows,
1123
00:50:23,610 --> 00:50:25,560
is your mouth.
1124
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:26,670
- Sorry I participated.
1125
00:50:26,670 --> 00:50:29,130
- Norm, I find that very hard to believe.
1126
00:50:29,130 --> 00:50:31,460
I mean, I know Francois was lying
1127
00:50:31,460 --> 00:50:34,897
and as much as I want to believe
you, I just don't see it.
1128
00:50:34,897 --> 00:50:36,600
- I'm not gonna go run the mile for you
1129
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:38,313
just to prove it to you right now.
1130
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:41,650
There's no way the antiques
would give us permission
1131
00:50:41,650 --> 00:50:45,910
on mandatory family night
to skip out right now.
1132
00:50:45,910 --> 00:50:48,530
- Who said we need to get
permission from the 'rents?
1133
00:50:48,530 --> 00:50:50,290
- I ran track freshman year
1134
00:50:50,290 --> 00:50:52,300
and no one in the entire school district,
1135
00:50:52,300 --> 00:50:53,630
or state for that matter,
1136
00:50:53,630 --> 00:50:56,200
could pull off anything
close to a four minute mile.
1137
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:58,290
Normandy, you're full of shit.
1138
00:50:58,290 --> 00:51:00,253
- You accused me of telling a whopper.
1139
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:05,010
- Well, I'm sure our parents
would shit a brick anyway
1140
00:51:05,010 --> 00:51:06,070
if they found we'd snuck out.
1141
00:51:06,070 --> 00:51:08,860
I mean, all they'd have to do
is come down to the basement
1142
00:51:08,860 --> 00:51:10,820
and see that, woo, we floated the coop.
1143
00:51:10,820 --> 00:51:12,550
- I didn't think you
were telling the truth.
1144
00:51:12,550 --> 00:51:13,740
- Busted, Norm.
1145
00:51:13,740 --> 00:51:16,410
Next time, don't shoot
so high with the lie.
1146
00:51:16,410 --> 00:51:17,733
- You are so lame.
1147
00:51:18,630 --> 00:51:21,710
- Hey, Marble Stack, you got
a stopwatch on that thing?
1148
00:51:21,710 --> 00:51:23,883
- Accurate to six decimal places.
1149
00:51:25,370 --> 00:51:26,860
Okay, let's do this.
1150
00:51:26,860 --> 00:51:28,290
I'm not going out in this heat.
1151
00:51:28,290 --> 00:51:30,320
I'll be upstairs enjoying
lemonade and the AC
1152
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:32,370
while you idiots waste time at the track.
1153
00:51:34,350 --> 00:51:36,290
- This'll be entertaining.
1154
00:51:36,290 --> 00:51:38,500
- Why would she humiliate
herself like this?
1155
00:51:58,930 --> 00:52:00,620
- Start the countdown, Pickle Pincher.
1156
00:52:00,620 --> 00:52:02,290
Are you sure?
1157
00:52:02,290 --> 00:52:03,400
- Yes, I'm sure.
1158
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:05,270
Now give me a count, Miami Meat Tent.
1159
00:53:18,230 --> 00:53:20,530
And that's how we ended June 14th.
1160
00:53:20,530 --> 00:53:22,640
It was the first time I ever
ran the four minute mile
1161
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:25,260
in front of anyone
other than Granny Chick.
1162
00:53:25,260 --> 00:53:27,700
She was my trainer and
always encouraged me.
1163
00:53:27,700 --> 00:53:29,800
Granny was clearly aware
of the media frenzy
1164
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,270
that would follow should I
ever go public with this.
1165
00:53:32,270 --> 00:53:34,840
I didn't want the attention or the fame.
1166
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:36,580
I have no desire to be in the record books
1167
00:53:36,580 --> 00:53:39,550
or up on the podium receiving
an Olympic gold medal.
1168
00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:42,890
I did it for myself, and mostly for her.
1169
00:53:42,890 --> 00:53:45,740
In many ways, it seems she
got more from it than I did.
1170
00:53:45,740 --> 00:53:47,293
Seeing her joy was my reward.
1171
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:50,810
Banish June 14th to the history books.
1172
00:53:50,810 --> 00:53:53,803
Next Friday, we will be at
Manberry Pudding Pack's house.
1173
00:53:54,920 --> 00:53:55,843
Giddy-up.
1174
00:53:59,750 --> 00:54:02,790
As I pull up to my house,
I do not like what I see.
1175
00:54:02,790 --> 00:54:04,730
I recognize several family members' cars
1176
00:54:04,730 --> 00:54:06,833
in the driveway and on the street.
1177
00:54:07,740 --> 00:54:10,010
This almost always means one thing.
1178
00:54:10,010 --> 00:54:11,593
Something bad has happened.
1179
00:54:12,620 --> 00:54:15,833
My beloved Granny Chick died
in her sleep of natural causes.
1180
00:54:16,970 --> 00:54:19,630
I lost one of the most
important people in my life
1181
00:54:19,630 --> 00:54:21,923
and my one and only true best friend.
1182
00:54:23,790 --> 00:54:25,460
I had a special bond with my grandmother,
1183
00:54:25,460 --> 00:54:27,253
unlike any bond I have today.
1184
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:32,510
Everyone always said, "You're
your grandmother's child."
1185
00:54:32,510 --> 00:54:34,010
That's how much alike we were.
1186
00:54:38,312 --> 00:54:39,357
I know you're in a better place
1187
00:54:39,357 --> 00:54:42,857
and where you always
said you wanted to be.
1188
00:54:42,857 --> 00:54:45,980
And I know God was waiting
for you with open arms
1189
00:54:45,980 --> 00:54:49,033
and probably some trepidation.
1190
00:54:50,660 --> 00:54:53,610
I don't know if heaven can
handle a personality like yours.
1191
00:54:54,944 --> 00:54:56,904
When the time comes
that we're both up there
1192
00:54:56,904 --> 00:54:59,463
at the same time, well, watch out.
1193
00:55:01,810 --> 00:55:05,763
Might have to build a separate
wing just for the both of us.
1194
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:14,327
I know that you're safe and
happy and very, very tan.
1195
00:55:17,250 --> 00:55:20,653
I'm jealous that God has you and I don't.
1196
00:55:24,482 --> 00:55:25,700
God, just please watch over her
1197
00:55:25,700 --> 00:55:28,860
and if she ever acts up
or uses colorful language,
1198
00:55:28,860 --> 00:55:32,517
just please remember
that you created her and,
1199
00:55:34,894 --> 00:55:38,223
and tell her I love her and I miss her.
1200
00:55:59,390 --> 00:56:01,593
- Mandy, thank you so much.
1201
00:56:02,700 --> 00:56:03,860
- For what?
1202
00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:05,790
- For doing all the things you did
1203
00:56:05,790 --> 00:56:08,800
with your grandmother
the last several weeks.
1204
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:11,450
You know, she told me that
you made her feel younger.
1205
00:56:11,450 --> 00:56:13,250
She couldn't stop talking about you.
1206
00:56:16,090 --> 00:56:17,593
- I really miss her, Grandad.
1207
00:56:18,590 --> 00:56:19,563
- So do I.
1208
00:56:21,660 --> 00:56:25,600
But I want you to think
about her as she was in life,
1209
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:26,593
not in death.
1210
00:56:29,540 --> 00:56:33,033
You know, even as she got older,
1211
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:39,143
she still acted like she was in her 20s.
1212
00:56:42,625 --> 00:56:44,375
She was a wonderfully feisty woman.
1213
00:56:46,150 --> 00:56:47,693
Life so full of zest.
1214
00:56:50,118 --> 00:56:53,640
You and she are certainly
cut from the same cloth.
1215
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:56,263
- How long until this hurt goes away?
1216
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:01,443
- Honey, believe me, it
will get better someday.
1217
00:57:03,950 --> 00:57:05,623
I've lost many loved ones.
1218
00:57:08,348 --> 00:57:11,653
The pain is terrible,
sometimes almost unbearable.
1219
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:17,560
But you learn to reflect upon
the life of the one you loved
1220
00:57:19,512 --> 00:57:22,660
and you think about the
many great times we shared
1221
00:57:22,660 --> 00:57:27,660
and knowing that you'll be together again,
1222
00:57:34,190 --> 00:57:35,973
that's what takes away the hurt.
1223
00:57:43,581 --> 00:57:45,331
I love you, Normandy.
1224
00:57:47,890 --> 00:57:48,960
And I want to thank you
1225
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:53,640
for helping your grandmother
those last several weeks,
1226
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:54,737
being so good to her.
1227
00:58:00,619 --> 00:58:05,202
You know, I found something
in your grandmother's room.
1228
00:58:07,620 --> 00:58:09,100
I can't quite make out what it is
1229
00:58:09,100 --> 00:58:10,743
but it's got your name on it.
1230
00:58:13,339 --> 00:58:16,006
Thought that you should have it.
1231
00:58:40,180 --> 00:58:43,080
- May I keep this, Norman G. Meadows?
1232
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:45,363
- Yes, you can, Normandy Dell Meadows.
1233
00:58:48,710 --> 00:58:50,023
Screw the Blue Club?
1234
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:52,793
Oh.
1235
00:58:55,590 --> 00:58:56,747
You'll be better.
1236
00:58:58,671 --> 00:59:00,080
Holding this
in my hands meant more to me
1237
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:02,180
at this moment than anything in the world.
1238
00:59:03,130 --> 00:59:04,560
I don't know how far Granny Chick got
1239
00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:06,010
with her Screw the Blue Club
1240
00:59:06,010 --> 00:59:07,920
but to know I played a small role
1241
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:10,683
in this effort of hers
is so very comforting.
1242
00:59:15,380 --> 00:59:18,143
Never realized how good a
soccer player my dad is.
1243
00:59:22,380 --> 00:59:25,570
Damn, even though he's getting
older, he's still got game.
1244
00:59:25,570 --> 00:59:27,340
Over the course of the
last two soccer games,
1245
00:59:27,340 --> 00:59:29,940
I certainly have a better
appreciation of my dad's ability
1246
00:59:29,940 --> 00:59:32,780
and I think this motley crew
is having the same feeling
1247
00:59:32,780 --> 00:59:34,423
about their respective pops.
1248
00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:38,540
Our first mandatory game together,
1249
00:59:38,540 --> 00:59:40,360
Bentley was trying to pick up girls
1250
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,560
and nowhere in sight as usual
1251
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:44,883
and Buford was playing grab ass.
1252
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:49,630
Francois was analyzing the intricacies
1253
00:59:49,630 --> 00:59:51,450
of the migratory bird life
1254
00:59:51,450 --> 00:59:53,710
and Olivia was filing her nails.
1255
00:59:53,710 --> 00:59:56,390
Other than my unplanned impromptu
appearance on the field,
1256
00:59:56,390 --> 00:59:58,733
none of us were really
paying much attention.
1257
01:00:00,370 --> 01:00:02,720
- Sorry about your grandmother.
1258
01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:04,400
I know that you were close.
1259
01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:05,600
- Thanks, Lolly Catcher.
1260
01:00:06,920 --> 01:00:08,470
- We all signed a card for you.
1261
01:00:10,730 --> 01:00:12,130
- Sorry for your loss, Norm.
1262
01:00:13,010 --> 01:00:14,190
- Thanks, guys.
1263
01:00:14,190 --> 01:00:15,790
I really appreciate the thought.
1264
01:00:24,040 --> 01:00:27,320
- Two great goals tonight by Meadows here.
1265
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:28,650
- Thanks, but I couldn't have done it
1266
01:00:28,650 --> 01:00:31,330
without two awesome assists,
one from Roy over there
1267
01:00:31,330 --> 01:00:32,980
and the other from Piere.
1268
01:00:32,980 --> 01:00:35,370
And you, by the way, I don't
think I saw a single goal
1269
01:00:35,370 --> 01:00:37,020
get past you on defense tonight.
1270
01:00:37,020 --> 01:00:37,853
Nice job.
1271
01:00:38,940 --> 01:00:39,773
- And it's so great
1272
01:00:39,773 --> 01:00:42,853
to see the kids finally taking
an interest in the game.
1273
01:00:43,964 --> 01:00:46,330
Were they watching us play?
1274
01:00:46,330 --> 01:00:48,870
- It was like night and
day from the first game.
1275
01:00:48,870 --> 01:00:51,140
They couldn't take their
eyes off the field.
1276
01:00:51,140 --> 01:00:52,020
- Yeah, probably hoping
1277
01:00:52,020 --> 01:00:54,963
your Normandy would make
an appearance tonight.
1278
01:00:56,770 --> 01:00:57,880
- You know, all I know is
1279
01:00:57,880 --> 01:00:59,600
that when I looked up from the field
1280
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:01,313
and got the thumbs up from Olivia,
1281
01:01:02,300 --> 01:01:04,390
I thought we had passed
through some alternate universe
1282
01:01:04,390 --> 01:01:07,273
where everything was just the
opposite of what it should be.
1283
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:09,970
- If that were the case,
1284
01:01:09,970 --> 01:01:13,395
then you would no longer
be a crossdresser.
1285
01:01:15,117 --> 01:01:16,851
- And you would be John Holmes.
1286
01:01:19,570 --> 01:01:20,403
- I just think it's really great
1287
01:01:20,403 --> 01:01:22,640
that they're participating in life
1288
01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:25,510
and in our lives in a human way,
1289
01:01:25,510 --> 01:01:30,373
and not some artificial
electronic, you know, digital way.
1290
01:01:31,310 --> 01:01:34,410
- So, Marcy, you don't
want Normandy to grow up
1291
01:01:34,410 --> 01:01:35,280
to be a robot?
1292
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:38,790
- I don't want any of
our kids to be a robot.
1293
01:01:38,790 --> 01:01:41,030
- I read recently that
if grandparents want
1294
01:01:41,030 --> 01:01:42,911
to watch their grandchildren grow up,
1295
01:01:42,911 --> 01:01:45,130
they have to join all of
these social media sites
1296
01:01:45,130 --> 01:01:48,230
just to become friends
with their grandchildren.
1297
01:01:48,230 --> 01:01:49,670
- So sad.
1298
01:01:49,670 --> 01:01:51,210
- Sad but true.
1299
01:01:51,210 --> 01:01:53,560
If this experiment has a positive impact
1300
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:55,560
on at least one of our children,
1301
01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:58,770
it is a complete success
as far as I'm concerned.
1302
01:01:58,770 --> 01:01:59,603
- I agree with that.
1303
01:01:59,603 --> 01:02:03,350
I hope all our kids get
something positive from this.
1304
01:02:03,350 --> 01:02:05,490
- Well, at least they're all
outside talking to each other,
1305
01:02:05,490 --> 01:02:06,770
human to human.
1306
01:02:06,770 --> 01:02:09,190
- If this were three weeks ago,
1307
01:02:09,190 --> 01:02:11,190
they would be sitting next to each other,
1308
01:02:11,190 --> 01:02:15,523
staring at their phones without
ever looking at one another.
1309
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:19,230
- Well, I hope that
they're all getting along
1310
01:02:19,230 --> 01:02:22,780
and having some type of
meaningful conversation.
1311
01:02:22,780 --> 01:02:26,420
- Do you guys remember, right
before we got off for summer,
1312
01:02:26,420 --> 01:02:27,610
you know that Thursday we had off
1313
01:02:27,610 --> 01:02:29,070
for parent-teacher conferences?
1314
01:02:29,070 --> 01:02:30,930
- Yeah, I vividly remember
1315
01:02:30,930 --> 01:02:33,710
because Mrs. Stratford,
who happens to hate me,
1316
01:02:33,710 --> 01:02:36,460
gave me a D in Home Ec and I
was totally in the hot seat.
1317
01:02:36,460 --> 01:02:38,110
But then I just convinced my parents
1318
01:02:38,110 --> 01:02:40,670
that she's borderline mental
and hates girls like me.
1319
01:02:40,670 --> 01:02:42,040
- What, uptight bitchy girls?
1320
01:02:42,040 --> 01:02:45,085
- No, Wiener Challenged, classy girls.
1321
01:02:46,844 --> 01:02:48,350
- That's a good one, Wiener Challenged.
1322
01:02:48,350 --> 01:02:50,260
- Whoa there, Ding-a-ling Fling.
1323
01:02:50,260 --> 01:02:52,530
You're entering familiar territory.
1324
01:02:52,530 --> 01:02:55,960
Now can we nuke the sideshow
antics and let Buford continue?
1325
01:02:55,960 --> 01:02:57,920
Might be the last time he
ever shares anything with us.
1326
01:02:57,920 --> 01:02:59,900
- Yeah, guys, I wanna hear this.
1327
01:02:59,900 --> 01:03:02,370
Buford, the stage is yours.
1328
01:03:02,370 --> 01:03:07,170
- Okay, this never goes beyond our group
1329
01:03:07,170 --> 01:03:10,580
and if it does, I will deny it forever.
1330
01:03:10,580 --> 01:03:12,000
- You're among friends here.
1331
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:13,633
- Relax, dude, we got your back.
1332
01:03:15,010 --> 01:03:16,560
Yes, you're among friends.
1333
01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:18,623
- Yes, you're among friends.
1334
01:03:20,210 --> 01:03:21,773
- Okay, all right.
1335
01:03:22,900 --> 01:03:27,470
So my mom asked me to run a
quick errand, go to the store.
1336
01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:29,470
She gives me a list, I grab the list,
1337
01:03:29,470 --> 01:03:32,550
put it in my pocket, get
in my car, go to the store.
1338
01:03:32,550 --> 01:03:35,910
I pull it out and I go down item by item
1339
01:03:35,910 --> 01:03:38,760
and I find everything
in order on the list.
1340
01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:40,930
I know I'm not really much of a shopper
1341
01:03:40,930 --> 01:03:42,630
and this is kind of my first time,
1342
01:03:43,580 --> 01:03:45,130
so you know, I'm just
grabbing the usual stuff.
1343
01:03:45,130 --> 01:03:49,623
I grab milk, I grab a thing
of bread, I grab some apples.
1344
01:03:50,550 --> 01:03:54,873
But the last item on the
list was unthinkable.
1345
01:03:55,900 --> 01:03:57,120
- Come on, big boy, let it out.
1346
01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:58,253
Set yourself free.
1347
01:03:59,790 --> 01:04:01,170
- Was it toilet paper?
1348
01:04:01,170 --> 01:04:02,450
Was it condoms?
1349
01:04:02,450 --> 01:04:05,040
- No, worse.
1350
01:04:05,040 --> 01:04:06,140
- Hemorrhoid ointment?
1351
01:04:07,310 --> 01:04:08,460
- Worse than that.
1352
01:04:08,460 --> 01:04:11,273
- Dude, what could be worse
than hemorrhoid ointment?
1353
01:04:13,459 --> 01:04:14,950
- It was tampons.
1354
01:04:14,950 --> 01:04:18,230
- Dude, that's just plain cruel.
1355
01:04:18,230 --> 01:04:19,670
- That's child abuse.
1356
01:04:19,670 --> 01:04:24,080
- Oh, come on, it's not that
bad, Bratwurst Bath Cap, geez.
1357
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:25,670
- You have no idea.
1358
01:04:25,670 --> 01:04:28,163
- Yeah, you're a girl.
1359
01:04:29,050 --> 01:04:32,350
No self-respecting card-carrying male
1360
01:04:32,350 --> 01:04:34,500
should ever allow himself to be exposed
1361
01:04:34,500 --> 01:04:37,000
to that level of humiliation.
1362
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:37,860
- I agree.
1363
01:04:37,860 --> 01:04:40,870
That's borderline corporal punishment.
1364
01:04:40,870 --> 01:04:42,640
- Oh, well, then what happened?
1365
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:44,280
Come on, burning daylight here.
1366
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:45,460
Tell us.
1367
01:04:45,460 --> 01:04:46,803
- Okay, all right.
1368
01:04:47,730 --> 01:04:52,730
It took forever to scope
out the tampon aisle
1369
01:04:52,870 --> 01:04:56,207
and locate the right
brand and type, right?
1370
01:04:56,207 --> 01:04:58,020
And so I thought, you
know, when I got there,
1371
01:04:58,020 --> 01:05:00,630
I'd just grab the first
box I saw and leave.
1372
01:05:00,630 --> 01:05:02,880
But then I thought I don't
know how picky women are
1373
01:05:02,880 --> 01:05:04,530
about their tampons.
1374
01:05:04,530 --> 01:05:06,330
So I thought if I got the wrong one,
1375
01:05:06,330 --> 01:05:08,740
then I would have to return to the store,
1376
01:05:08,740 --> 01:05:12,380
return the item, go find
the right item, buy it,
1377
01:05:12,380 --> 01:05:13,750
and then come back.
1378
01:05:13,750 --> 01:05:17,510
So I thought I would just
consolidate my hell of hells
1379
01:05:17,510 --> 01:05:19,230
and get the right one the first time
1380
01:05:19,230 --> 01:05:21,870
because I didn't want
to risk a return trip.
1381
01:05:21,870 --> 01:05:24,790
Okay, so anyway, I'm
scoping out the tampon aisle
1382
01:05:24,790 --> 01:05:28,320
and I had to view the tampon aisle
1383
01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:30,440
from a strategic vantage point
1384
01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:32,750
while pretending to
look for something else.
1385
01:05:32,750 --> 01:05:35,070
As soon as I located the right ones
1386
01:05:35,070 --> 01:05:38,170
and double checked that
no one was in the area,
1387
01:05:38,170 --> 01:05:39,003
I made my move.
1388
01:05:39,950 --> 01:05:42,920
I waited for the checkout
lane to become available,
1389
01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:44,170
where no one was waiting.
1390
01:05:45,404 --> 01:05:46,940
- Hello.
1391
01:05:46,940 --> 01:05:48,330
You're wearing a Parker High jersey.
1392
01:05:48,330 --> 01:05:49,300
Play football?
1393
01:05:49,300 --> 01:05:50,320
- Yeah, mid linebacker.
1394
01:05:50,320 --> 01:05:52,050
I'm sorry, can't hear you.
1395
01:05:52,050 --> 01:05:53,110
- I'm sorry, it's my throat.
1396
01:05:53,110 --> 01:05:54,280
Laryngitis maybe.
1397
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:56,700
- Oh, you should try that
lemon eucalyptus tea.
1398
01:05:56,700 --> 01:05:58,070
What's your name?
1399
01:05:58,070 --> 01:05:59,070
- Buckingham.
1400
01:05:59,070 --> 01:06:00,480
Buford Buckingham.
1401
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:01,690
- Buford Buckingham.
1402
01:06:01,690 --> 01:06:04,180
You know, my husband and I
have not missed a game there
1403
01:06:04,180 --> 01:06:05,490
for eight seasons.
1404
01:06:05,490 --> 01:06:07,360
We'll keep an eye out for ya.
1405
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:08,660
I couldn't believe my luck.
1406
01:06:08,660 --> 01:06:10,670
I only had one item left to go
1407
01:06:10,670 --> 01:06:12,893
and I would've been out
of there, home free.
1408
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:18,660
- Hey, Sarah, do you know
where the bar code is
1409
01:06:18,660 --> 01:06:19,793
for these tampons?
1410
01:06:20,650 --> 01:06:22,310
- No, I don't know.
1411
01:06:22,310 --> 01:06:24,380
Isn't it on the box?
1412
01:06:24,380 --> 01:06:27,120
Well, call it in for a price check, honey.
1413
01:06:27,120 --> 01:06:30,600
- I need a price check
for a 36 count tampon
1414
01:06:30,600 --> 01:06:33,600
for this young man wearing the
jersey in lane four, please?
1415
01:06:33,600 --> 01:06:36,310
Price is $2.35
for a 16 count package.
1416
01:06:36,310 --> 01:06:40,300
- I needed a price check
for a 36 count package
1417
01:06:40,300 --> 01:06:42,617
of Lady Fresh Tampons, not 16.
1418
01:06:42,617 --> 01:06:44,890
- No, no, no, it's okay,
I'll just leave 'em here.
1419
01:06:44,890 --> 01:06:46,001
- Are you sure?
1420
01:06:46,001 --> 01:06:46,834
I mean, I'd really hate for you to leave
1421
01:06:46,834 --> 01:06:47,880
without these tampons.
1422
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:48,713
- Yes, I'm sure.
1423
01:06:48,713 --> 01:06:50,530
I'll just buy all this other
stuff and I'll head home.
1424
01:06:50,530 --> 01:06:51,590
People are waiting in line here.
1425
01:06:51,590 --> 01:06:53,257
36 count, $5.29.
1426
01:06:53,257 --> 01:06:56,480
- Cancel that price check
for a 36 count tampon
1427
01:06:56,480 --> 01:06:58,723
for Buford Buckingham
in lane four, please.
1428
01:06:59,820 --> 01:07:01,870
Canceling
those tampons for Buford.
1429
01:07:01,870 --> 01:07:02,703
- Thank you.
1430
01:07:07,990 --> 01:07:11,276
Wait, Buford Buckingham,
you forgot your tampons.
1431
01:07:16,007 --> 01:07:17,600
- I haven't laughed that
hard in a long time.
1432
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:18,650
Great story, Buford.
1433
01:07:18,650 --> 01:07:21,320
- Yeah, I would've paid
money to have been there.
1434
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:23,187
- I think I peed my pants.
1435
01:07:24,590 --> 01:07:27,562
No, I'm serious, I think I peed my pants.
1436
01:07:29,730 --> 01:07:31,813
- Come with me, Olivia, I got you covered.
1437
01:07:41,980 --> 01:07:46,290
- So, guys, what do you think?
1438
01:07:46,290 --> 01:07:48,140
Ginger or Mary Ann?
1439
01:07:48,140 --> 01:07:49,770
What do you mean?
1440
01:07:49,770 --> 01:07:50,700
- Oh, come on.
1441
01:07:50,700 --> 01:07:53,100
Like you've never seen Gilligan's Island.
1442
01:07:53,100 --> 01:07:55,200
- I watched it with my dad a few times.
1443
01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:57,190
- Oh, yeah, I've seen that before,
1444
01:07:57,190 --> 01:07:59,280
at 3:00 a.m. on cable.
1445
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:01,180
I still don't know what
you're asking though.
1446
01:08:01,180 --> 01:08:05,600
- Come on, you got Ginger,
the Hollywood royalty type,
1447
01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:09,722
or you have Mary Ann, the
girl next door type, you know?
1448
01:08:09,722 --> 01:08:13,380
- Oh, I see where you're going with this.
1449
01:08:13,380 --> 01:08:17,260
You're asking which girl is more our type.
1450
01:08:17,260 --> 01:08:22,260
So we got the Olivia, who
is the Hollywood royalty,
1451
01:08:22,570 --> 01:08:27,190
IE Ginger, or Normandy,
who is the girl next door,
1452
01:08:27,190 --> 01:08:28,453
IE Mary Ann.
1453
01:08:29,350 --> 01:08:30,840
- Bravo, Speedo.
1454
01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:32,460
Connecting the dots like that?
1455
01:08:32,460 --> 01:08:34,500
- Well, Olivia's beautiful and all,
1456
01:08:34,500 --> 01:08:37,933
but Normandy is, well, I mean,
1457
01:08:38,790 --> 01:08:43,410
Normandy is smart and now
we know that she's athletic.
1458
01:08:43,410 --> 01:08:47,243
And well, she's just, you know.
1459
01:08:48,780 --> 01:08:51,130
- Francis likes Normandy.
1460
01:08:51,130 --> 01:08:53,423
Well, I
mean, Normandy's cute and,
1461
01:08:54,450 --> 01:08:55,320
so what do you prefer?
1462
01:08:55,320 --> 01:08:56,270
Ginger or Mary Ann?
1463
01:08:59,340 --> 01:09:01,323
- Well, right now,
1464
01:09:03,110 --> 01:09:05,120
Mrs. Howell's more my type.
1465
01:09:05,120 --> 01:09:07,500
- Hey, hey, hey, that's not fair.
1466
01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:09,463
I didn't know that was a choice.
1467
01:09:10,578 --> 01:09:11,411
- Oh, come on.
1468
01:09:12,510 --> 01:09:16,530
What red-blooded American 16
year old doesn't fantasize
1469
01:09:16,530 --> 01:09:17,923
about older women?
1470
01:09:19,740 --> 01:09:22,483
Mrs. Robinson wasn't a
fairytale of days gone by.
1471
01:09:24,090 --> 01:09:27,003
It is as true today as it was back then.
1472
01:09:28,220 --> 01:09:30,560
- Yeah.
1473
01:09:30,560 --> 01:09:33,833
Older women for sure.
1474
01:09:36,010 --> 01:09:38,543
- Well, Bent, haven't heard from you yet.
1475
01:09:39,640 --> 01:09:40,740
- I like 'em all.
1476
01:09:40,740 --> 01:09:43,440
Mary Ann, Ginger, Mrs. Howell.
1477
01:09:43,440 --> 01:09:46,340
That's like asking me to
choose between acoustic,
1478
01:09:46,340 --> 01:09:48,870
electric, or a bass guitar.
1479
01:09:48,870 --> 01:09:50,190
They're all a little bit different,
1480
01:09:50,190 --> 01:09:51,940
each has their own different sound.
1481
01:09:53,080 --> 01:09:55,030
Nonetheless, they'd all be fun to play.
1482
01:09:56,110 --> 01:09:58,660
My guess though is if I had to choose,
1483
01:09:58,660 --> 01:10:01,060
I'd rather take Mary Ann
out of the guitar case
1484
01:10:01,060 --> 01:10:02,177
more than the others.
1485
01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:03,913
- Mary Ann?
1486
01:10:05,170 --> 01:10:07,330
What are you boys talking about?
1487
01:10:07,330 --> 01:10:11,420
- We were, uh, just talking about guitars.
1488
01:10:11,420 --> 01:10:14,930
- You named your guitar Mary Ann?
1489
01:10:14,930 --> 01:10:16,070
- What's wrong with that?
1490
01:10:16,070 --> 01:10:17,610
Lots of people name their guitars.
1491
01:10:17,610 --> 01:10:20,363
Hell, even Norm's grandma
calls her guitar Brutus.
1492
01:10:24,347 --> 01:10:26,400
I'm sorry, Norm.
1493
01:10:26,400 --> 01:10:29,283
I didn't mean to bring anything
up that might upset you.
1494
01:10:30,294 --> 01:10:31,593
- I miss her so much.
1495
01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:35,730
Is it okay if we change the subject
1496
01:10:35,730 --> 01:10:38,570
and maybe do that thing
where someone says something
1497
01:10:38,570 --> 01:10:41,470
that no one else knows about them?
1498
01:10:41,470 --> 01:10:45,980
- Sure, I'm sorry, I'm
so stupid sometimes.
1499
01:10:45,980 --> 01:10:48,921
Yeah, that
sounds like a good idea.
1500
01:10:48,921 --> 01:10:50,843
- I wanna start.
1501
01:10:50,843 --> 01:10:53,020
The thing about me that
no one else knows is
1502
01:10:55,184 --> 01:10:57,457
I really need a hug right now.
1503
01:11:07,586 --> 01:11:11,140
- I wonder how the kids are getting along.
1504
01:11:11,140 --> 01:11:12,743
Would you look at that?
1505
01:11:14,630 --> 01:11:16,430
- We must have done something right.
1506
01:11:21,977 --> 01:11:25,180
- Never seen you wear
normal clothes before.
1507
01:11:25,180 --> 01:11:27,730
You know, like stuff that
costs under $100 an item?
1508
01:11:28,670 --> 01:11:33,670
- Olivia, you look really nice like that.
1509
01:11:33,870 --> 01:11:35,110
- Well, thanks.
1510
01:11:35,110 --> 01:11:37,510
Funny how it takes me
wearing non-designer clothes
1511
01:11:37,510 --> 01:11:39,580
to finally get a compliment around here.
1512
01:11:39,580 --> 01:11:41,420
No offense, Normandy.
1513
01:11:41,420 --> 01:11:42,720
- None taken.
1514
01:11:42,720 --> 01:11:45,020
I think it's more than
just the clothes though.
1515
01:11:45,020 --> 01:11:45,853
For the past few weeks,
1516
01:11:45,853 --> 01:11:48,490
I think we've all seen a different
side of your personality.
1517
01:11:48,490 --> 01:11:50,330
Maybe one we'd never seen before.
1518
01:11:50,330 --> 01:11:51,810
- Storm's about to hit.
1519
01:11:51,810 --> 01:11:53,850
We should get inside before we get soaked.
1520
01:11:53,850 --> 01:11:55,263
- Good call, Ouch Pouch.
1521
01:11:57,440 --> 01:11:58,300
Here, I can get the trash
1522
01:11:58,300 --> 01:11:59,800
and I can meet you all inside.
1523
01:12:05,330 --> 01:12:06,163
- Francois.
1524
01:12:08,230 --> 01:12:13,100
- Oh, hi, Mrs. Milf, Miller.
1525
01:12:13,100 --> 01:12:15,480
- Why don't you just set those
plates down here on the table
1526
01:12:15,480 --> 01:12:16,633
and I'll get 'em later.
1527
01:12:21,060 --> 01:12:21,893
Francois.
1528
01:12:22,790 --> 01:12:24,280
Francois.
1529
01:12:24,280 --> 01:12:25,130
What's wrong with you?
1530
01:12:25,130 --> 01:12:26,843
It's like you have tunnel vision.
1531
01:12:27,855 --> 01:12:30,230
- Yeah, tunnel vision.
1532
01:12:30,230 --> 01:12:32,420
- Why don't you just take these
1533
01:12:32,420 --> 01:12:34,680
and go join your friends.
1534
01:12:34,680 --> 01:12:36,230
Everyone is in the living room.
1535
01:12:37,220 --> 01:12:42,170
- Oh, is that a picture
of nipple, Napoleon Boner,
1536
01:12:42,170 --> 01:12:44,760
Napoleon Bonaparte, Napoleon Bonaparte?
1537
01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:47,490
- Yes, it's Napoleon Bonaparte.
1538
01:12:47,490 --> 01:12:50,060
Have you been drinking tonight?
1539
01:12:50,060 --> 01:12:53,090
- No, no, Mrs. Milf, Milfer,
Miller, Miller, Miller.
1540
01:12:53,090 --> 01:12:58,090
We were, I was just outside
picking up ass, trash,
1541
01:12:59,030 --> 01:13:00,880
trash, trash before the storm
1542
01:13:00,880 --> 01:13:05,880
and it got nipple, nippy,
nippy, you know, cold outside.
1543
01:13:06,290 --> 01:13:09,180
And I was just ready to
join the breast, the rest,
1544
01:13:09,180 --> 01:13:12,050
the rest of them before the
weather got titty, shitty.
1545
01:13:12,050 --> 01:13:13,530
Oh, I'm sorry, I said shitty,
1546
01:13:13,530 --> 01:13:15,140
it's just I'm not myself tonight.
1547
01:13:15,140 --> 01:13:18,070
You know, I'm just trying
to get into the boob,
1548
01:13:18,070 --> 01:13:20,290
the groove, the groove of things.
1549
01:13:20,290 --> 01:13:23,250
So wow, I've said enough.
1550
01:13:23,250 --> 01:13:25,900
It's good seeing all of you
1551
01:13:25,900 --> 01:13:29,773
and I'll be in there if you need me.
1552
01:13:38,587 --> 01:13:41,460
- Piere, how long you been in the States?
1553
01:13:41,460 --> 01:13:43,271
- Almost 20 years now.
1554
01:13:43,271 --> 01:13:45,320
- Now what was it you did before medicine?
1555
01:13:45,320 --> 01:13:47,270
- The last thing I did before medicine was
1556
01:13:47,270 --> 01:13:50,290
a very short stint as a rodeo clown,
1557
01:13:50,290 --> 01:13:54,010
but injury cut my clowning days short.
1558
01:13:54,010 --> 01:13:55,260
- No kidding?
1559
01:13:55,260 --> 01:13:58,050
Piere, you were a rodeo clown?
1560
01:13:58,050 --> 01:14:00,043
- I know, it sounds crazy.
1561
01:14:01,250 --> 01:14:04,030
But I guess I was young and dumb.
1562
01:14:04,030 --> 01:14:06,830
You kids can learn something from this.
1563
01:14:06,830 --> 01:14:08,590
- Yeah, like it's fine to be young
1564
01:14:08,590 --> 01:14:10,994
but try to avoid the dumb part.
1565
01:14:12,940 --> 01:14:16,980
- You know, Piere, I rode
the circuit for years.
1566
01:14:16,980 --> 01:14:18,910
Did you clown in France?
1567
01:14:18,910 --> 01:14:20,763
- No, here in the States.
1568
01:14:21,760 --> 01:14:25,743
Wyoming, Colorado, mainly back in the 80s.
1569
01:14:27,230 --> 01:14:28,433
- So what happened?
1570
01:14:29,270 --> 01:14:32,800
I really don't
like talking about this much.
1571
01:14:32,800 --> 01:14:34,640
- You know, they said
it was the worst hang up
1572
01:14:34,640 --> 01:14:36,393
the old timers had ever seen.
1573
01:14:37,700 --> 01:14:42,700
The cowboy, he rode this
bull for a good eight seconds
1574
01:14:42,890 --> 01:14:45,960
and then when he decided to dismount,
1575
01:14:45,960 --> 01:14:50,160
he found that his hand was
cinched so tight in the rope
1576
01:14:50,160 --> 01:14:53,083
that he couldn't free himself.
1577
01:14:54,120 --> 01:14:55,890
Meanwhile, the bull was still bucking
1578
01:14:55,890 --> 01:14:58,023
and spinning relentlessly.
1579
01:14:58,990 --> 01:15:01,380
And so the cowboy's body
gets thrown off the bull
1580
01:15:01,380 --> 01:15:03,733
but his hand is still
attached by the rope.
1581
01:15:05,820 --> 01:15:10,160
And, I mean, the poor
guy tried to free himself
1582
01:15:10,160 --> 01:15:12,210
for a good two minutes.
1583
01:15:12,210 --> 01:15:13,100
He just struggled
1584
01:15:13,100 --> 01:15:17,870
but finally he was just
knocked unconscious.
1585
01:15:17,870 --> 01:15:21,530
And then his body was flailing
around like a ragdoll,
1586
01:15:21,530 --> 01:15:23,260
I mean it was just terrible.
1587
01:15:23,260 --> 01:15:25,720
But Piere, bless his heart,
1588
01:15:25,720 --> 01:15:28,670
he went out there and
did everything he could
1589
01:15:28,670 --> 01:15:30,780
to try to help the cowboy,
1590
01:15:30,780 --> 01:15:33,220
but it wasn't until his fingers all broke
1591
01:15:33,220 --> 01:15:36,350
and his hand finally
released from the rope
1592
01:15:37,590 --> 01:15:42,590
that then he just fell,
lifeless, face down in the dirt.
1593
01:15:45,490 --> 01:15:47,653
But that wasn't even the end of the story.
1594
01:15:48,690 --> 01:15:53,140
- The cowboy laid there unconscious
1595
01:15:54,180 --> 01:15:58,483
and the bull was angry
and looking for a target.
1596
01:16:00,280 --> 01:16:04,410
The bull focused in on
the defenseless cowboy.
1597
01:16:04,410 --> 01:16:09,093
The clown knew the cowboy
was a defenseless target,
1598
01:16:10,040 --> 01:16:11,113
an easy target.
1599
01:16:14,330 --> 01:16:17,723
That brave clown jumped
in front of the bull,
1600
01:16:19,600 --> 01:16:21,750
drawing his attention
away from the cowboy.
1601
01:16:24,800 --> 01:16:29,800
This rodeo clown put his life on the line
1602
01:16:32,200 --> 01:16:35,997
over and over again, taking
multiple injuries to himself
1603
01:16:37,893 --> 01:16:39,350
and getting back up each time
1604
01:16:40,560 --> 01:16:44,493
to keep the bull's focus on
him instead of the cowboy.
1605
01:16:47,780 --> 01:16:50,520
There were three clowns there that day
1606
01:16:52,030 --> 01:16:55,440
but only one had the
courage and the fortitude
1607
01:16:56,580 --> 01:16:58,130
to put his own life on the line
1608
01:16:59,890 --> 01:17:02,443
to save a man he did not know.
1609
01:17:06,150 --> 01:17:11,150
That brave man sitting right
there saved my life that day.
1610
01:17:13,070 --> 01:17:17,150
I looked for nearly
five years to find him,
1611
01:17:17,150 --> 01:17:19,400
to thank him personally.
1612
01:17:19,400 --> 01:17:21,123
Last I heard, he left the country.
1613
01:17:26,850 --> 01:17:28,210
- Every week, we are learning more
1614
01:17:28,210 --> 01:17:29,843
about ourselves and our parents.
1615
01:17:30,900 --> 01:17:32,280
Would we have all gathered as a group
1616
01:17:32,280 --> 01:17:35,910
and shared these intimate
moments without being forced to?
1617
01:17:35,910 --> 01:17:37,810
I'm starting to wonder
if this wireless journey
1618
01:17:37,810 --> 01:17:40,040
is turning into a good thing.
1619
01:17:40,040 --> 01:17:42,760
How could something so unanimously opposed
1620
01:17:42,760 --> 01:17:46,730
by the five of us turn into
something that we might cherish?
1621
01:17:46,730 --> 01:17:48,910
What else in my life did
I oppose so vehemently
1622
01:17:48,910 --> 01:17:52,320
that may have born an
unforeseen positive outcome?
1623
01:17:52,320 --> 01:17:53,373
It makes me wonder.
1624
01:17:54,770 --> 01:17:57,240
Banish June 21st to the history books.
1625
01:17:57,240 --> 01:17:59,200
Next week, it's off to Bentley's house.
1626
01:17:59,200 --> 01:18:01,033
Hot diggety dog.
1627
01:18:06,330 --> 01:18:09,050
Through use of smoke signals
and other ancient techniques,
1628
01:18:09,050 --> 01:18:11,350
we were able to communicate
with each other.
1629
01:18:11,350 --> 01:18:13,410
Although the method of
communication was primitive
1630
01:18:13,410 --> 01:18:15,580
and took longer than
more modern techniques,
1631
01:18:15,580 --> 01:18:17,770
it was nonetheless effective.
1632
01:18:17,770 --> 01:18:20,110
Because it was our last week
living a digital-free life,
1633
01:18:20,110 --> 01:18:21,980
we thought we would celebrate.
1634
01:18:21,980 --> 01:18:23,670
By use of human carrier pigeon,
1635
01:18:23,670 --> 01:18:25,630
we hatched a plan to
meet at Kensington Park
1636
01:18:25,630 --> 01:18:27,460
on Wednesday at noon sharp
1637
01:18:27,460 --> 01:18:30,180
and walk together to partake
in the culinary delight
1638
01:18:30,180 --> 01:18:32,500
of the best ice cream in the free world.
1639
01:18:32,500 --> 01:18:34,350
A fitting treat for an unlikely crew.
1640
01:18:43,941 --> 01:18:46,307
Imagine barfing those out.
1641
01:18:48,630 --> 01:18:49,660
- Hey, sweet thing.
1642
01:18:49,660 --> 01:18:50,810
How about we take a stroll?
1643
01:18:50,810 --> 01:18:51,863
- No thanks.
1644
01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:54,659
- I wasn't asking.
1645
01:18:54,659 --> 01:18:55,820
- I'm kinda scared.
1646
01:18:55,820 --> 01:18:58,300
- Normandy, you're the fastest.
1647
01:18:58,300 --> 01:18:59,310
Go get help.
1648
01:18:59,310 --> 01:19:01,280
- I'm not leaving Olivia's side.
1649
01:19:01,280 --> 01:19:05,980
- Okay, well, Francois, go get help.
1650
01:19:08,570 --> 01:19:09,620
- Okay, help is here.
1651
01:19:10,470 --> 01:19:12,630
- This is no time to joke, Dong Throng.
1652
01:19:12,630 --> 01:19:14,430
- Francois, I told you to go get help.
1653
01:19:14,430 --> 01:19:15,763
- I am the help.
1654
01:19:17,330 --> 01:19:18,463
- What are you doing?
1655
01:19:19,760 --> 01:19:21,660
- Please leave us alone.
1656
01:19:21,660 --> 01:19:23,419
- We have a hero here.
1657
01:19:24,580 --> 01:19:27,310
Lucky for me, I have something for heroes.
1658
01:19:27,310 --> 01:19:28,830
- We don't want any trouble here.
1659
01:19:28,830 --> 01:19:29,663
- Really, bitch?
1660
01:19:29,663 --> 01:19:31,830
You must be shitting me.
1661
01:19:31,830 --> 01:19:34,530
- Listen, Nicki Minaj,
I would never shit you.
1662
01:19:34,530 --> 01:19:35,950
You're my prize turd.
1663
01:19:35,950 --> 01:19:37,097
- So, Muscles, what are you
1664
01:19:37,097 --> 01:19:39,653
and your scrawny little
ass gonna do about it?
1665
01:19:40,710 --> 01:19:43,610
- I will be forced to
unleash a flurry of punches
1666
01:19:43,610 --> 01:19:47,203
and kicks precisely over the
entirety upon your bodies.
1667
01:19:48,500 --> 01:19:49,773
- You and what army?
1668
01:19:52,270 --> 01:19:53,263
- I need no army.
1669
01:19:55,140 --> 01:19:56,481
I'm an army of one.
1670
01:19:59,904 --> 01:20:01,350
You missed me.
1671
01:20:01,350 --> 01:20:02,183
Oh shit.
1672
01:20:04,321 --> 01:20:06,071
- Oh, oh, oh, ow, oh!
1673
01:20:08,721 --> 01:20:10,638
That is disgusting, oh.
1674
01:20:14,277 --> 01:20:15,612
- Thanks.
1675
01:20:15,612 --> 01:20:16,445
- For what?
1676
01:20:16,445 --> 01:20:17,430
- For sticking with me.
1677
01:20:17,430 --> 01:20:18,530
That was really brave.
1678
01:20:20,390 --> 01:20:22,570
- Francois, you are awesome, dude!
1679
01:20:22,570 --> 01:20:25,320
- Yeah, didn't know you had
it in you, Weenie Bikini.
1680
01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:27,642
- Dude, I thought you were lying
1681
01:20:27,642 --> 01:20:29,680
about that whole martial arts thing.
1682
01:20:29,680 --> 01:20:32,240
- Yeah, Francois, you were so good.
1683
01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:35,160
When Normandy told that
asshole he was her prize turd,
1684
01:20:35,160 --> 01:20:37,305
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
1685
01:20:56,990 --> 01:20:58,960
You know we're playing
that same team tonight.
1686
01:20:58,960 --> 01:21:01,760
You know, the one that laid
your dad out on the field?
1687
01:21:01,760 --> 01:21:03,110
- Oh, I know.
1688
01:21:03,110 --> 01:21:06,370
And I'm ready just in case
that ass gasket shows up again.
1689
01:21:06,370 --> 01:21:07,250
I'm gonna walk over there
1690
01:21:07,250 --> 01:21:09,700
and see if he's foolish
enough to show his face.
1691
01:21:09,700 --> 01:21:11,430
- I'll go with you.
1692
01:21:11,430 --> 01:21:12,263
Me too, Normandy.
1693
01:21:12,263 --> 01:21:13,960
You can always count on me.
1694
01:21:13,960 --> 01:21:15,630
- Thanks, Groat Tote.
1695
01:21:15,630 --> 01:21:17,680
I can always count on all of you.
1696
01:21:17,680 --> 01:21:19,683
- Shit, Norm, there he is.
1697
01:21:21,060 --> 01:21:21,970
- Where?
1698
01:21:21,970 --> 01:21:23,400
- Oh, I see the rat.
1699
01:21:23,400 --> 01:21:24,574
- Where is he?
1700
01:21:24,574 --> 01:21:25,407
I don't see him.
1701
01:21:25,407 --> 01:21:26,740
- I can't believe he had
the nads to show up here.
1702
01:21:26,740 --> 01:21:28,840
There he is, Nantucket Nadbucket.
1703
01:21:28,840 --> 01:21:30,403
Right past the bald guy.
1704
01:21:31,390 --> 01:21:32,560
- So what are you gonna do?
1705
01:21:32,560 --> 01:21:36,260
- Okay, I came prepared
just in case this happened.
1706
01:21:36,260 --> 01:21:38,080
Here's what we have to do.
1707
01:21:38,080 --> 01:21:39,430
Too bad Bentley isn't here.
1708
01:21:45,610 --> 01:21:47,570
- So, uh, hi.
1709
01:21:47,570 --> 01:21:50,230
I know that you're like
stretching and water,
1710
01:21:50,230 --> 01:21:51,350
water, water, yeah.
1711
01:21:51,350 --> 01:21:52,450
The water boy.
1712
01:21:52,450 --> 01:21:54,790
I'm the water boy for the other team,
1713
01:21:54,790 --> 01:21:55,650
my dad's on the other team,
1714
01:21:55,650 --> 01:21:59,573
but I can also be your water
boy too, so that's a twist,
1715
01:22:00,500 --> 01:22:01,560
that's just kind of a twist
1716
01:22:01,560 --> 01:22:04,410
that the soccer league is doing right now.
1717
01:22:04,410 --> 01:22:09,110
So relax, laxative, you
know, so relax, relax.
1718
01:22:09,110 --> 01:22:10,170
You seem to be stretching all right.
1719
01:22:10,170 --> 01:22:11,750
You know, muscles can get really tense
1720
01:22:11,750 --> 01:22:12,860
so you always gotta stretch, you know,
1721
01:22:12,860 --> 01:22:16,660
even muscles in your ears too
can get even tense right now
1722
01:22:16,660 --> 01:22:20,780
but just passing,
passing, passing the time
1723
01:22:20,780 --> 01:22:23,220
while you're stretching is a great way
1724
01:22:23,220 --> 01:22:25,650
to relax those muscles.
1725
01:22:25,650 --> 01:22:29,013
But yeah, it looks like
you've got it, so great game.
1726
01:22:49,320 --> 01:22:50,720
- I'm gonna take this guy out again.
1727
01:22:50,720 --> 01:22:52,710
Watch this, I'm gonna roll
his ass across the field,
1728
01:22:52,710 --> 01:22:54,170
make him do a lipstand.
1729
01:22:56,320 --> 01:22:57,610
What the hell?
1730
01:22:57,610 --> 01:22:58,743
Jason, get over here.
1731
01:23:01,230 --> 01:23:02,063
What, man, you hurt yourself?
1732
01:23:02,063 --> 01:23:03,440
- No, I shit myself.
1733
01:23:03,440 --> 01:23:04,780
I can't get up in front
of all these people.
1734
01:23:04,780 --> 01:23:06,010
I completely shit myself.
1735
01:23:06,010 --> 01:23:07,410
- Oh, that's messed up, man.
1736
01:23:14,190 --> 01:23:15,160
- Looks like you're going about
1737
01:23:15,160 --> 01:23:18,550
to attempt another flagrant
foul on my dad, D-bag.
1738
01:23:18,550 --> 01:23:20,913
That is, until you had a bit of a blowout.
1739
01:23:22,750 --> 01:23:24,550
I suggest you men stay upwind
1740
01:23:24,550 --> 01:23:26,563
of your Captain Poopy Pants here.
1741
01:23:27,410 --> 01:23:29,910
What I and I'm sure all
your teammates are wondering
1742
01:23:29,910 --> 01:23:31,340
right about now is why,
1743
01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:34,810
before trying to maliciously
take down my dad again,
1744
01:23:34,810 --> 01:23:36,360
you reached around to your backside
1745
01:23:36,360 --> 01:23:39,770
and opened up the floodgate
valve on the Hershey highway.
1746
01:23:39,770 --> 01:23:42,740
I told you not to show up
to another game, didn't I?
1747
01:23:42,740 --> 01:23:43,900
Stay hydrated.
1748
01:23:43,900 --> 01:23:44,820
- Bottoms up.
1749
01:23:44,820 --> 01:23:47,550
- This is not an appropriate
place to blow mud
1750
01:23:47,550 --> 01:23:48,950
and just for your information,
1751
01:23:48,950 --> 01:23:52,720
there is no appropriate place
to drop a deuce in public.
1752
01:23:52,720 --> 01:23:56,644
- Every time I see you, it
will get progressively worse.
1753
01:23:56,644 --> 01:23:57,914
Capiche?
1754
01:23:57,914 --> 01:23:59,420
- Yes, capiche.
1755
01:23:59,420 --> 01:24:01,660
Who the hell are you anyway?
1756
01:24:01,660 --> 01:24:03,320
- Normandy.
1757
01:24:03,320 --> 01:24:04,783
Normandy is my name.
1758
01:24:11,060 --> 01:24:13,790
- Sorry I've been such a bitch
the last few weeks, you guys.
1759
01:24:13,790 --> 01:24:16,470
I could blame it on the group
of people I hang out with
1760
01:24:16,470 --> 01:24:18,690
or just me wanting to be popular,
1761
01:24:18,690 --> 01:24:21,770
but I really have no one else
to blame other than myself.
1762
01:24:21,770 --> 01:24:24,370
- You've come a long way,
girl, in just four weeks.
1763
01:24:24,370 --> 01:24:27,092
Next week, you can go
back to being a bitch.
1764
01:24:28,890 --> 01:24:31,700
- That's right, we go
back to the digital world.
1765
01:24:31,700 --> 01:24:34,413
- Yeah, back to normal, right?
1766
01:24:34,413 --> 01:24:36,150
- I never thought I'd make it 30 days
1767
01:24:36,150 --> 01:24:37,640
without my phone or the internet
1768
01:24:37,640 --> 01:24:39,870
but sitting here next to Mangina Suit,
1769
01:24:39,870 --> 01:24:41,630
I don't even miss it that much.
1770
01:24:41,630 --> 01:24:43,773
- I know, it's kinda weird, isn't it?
1771
01:24:44,870 --> 01:24:48,470
- Speaking of weird, has
anybody seen Bentley?
1772
01:24:48,470 --> 01:24:49,900
- Yeah, we are at his house,
1773
01:24:49,900 --> 01:24:52,190
so it would be nice if he
came out from his mancave
1774
01:24:52,190 --> 01:24:54,310
and decided to make an appearance.
1775
01:24:54,310 --> 01:24:57,630
- Hey, Bent, you gonna
make an appearance tonight?
1776
01:24:57,630 --> 01:24:59,530
- What the hell?
1777
01:24:59,530 --> 01:25:00,363
Where's Bentley?
1778
01:25:01,472 --> 01:25:04,000
- OMG, you look...
1779
01:25:04,000 --> 01:25:06,260
- Fantastic.
1780
01:25:06,260 --> 01:25:08,130
- Yeah, fantastic.
1781
01:25:08,130 --> 01:25:10,470
- If you had walked by me on the street,
1782
01:25:10,470 --> 01:25:12,913
I would not have recognized you.
1783
01:25:14,460 --> 01:25:18,700
- Okay, so something about
me that no one else knows.
1784
01:25:18,700 --> 01:25:20,290
Well, this is the real me.
1785
01:25:20,290 --> 01:25:23,580
Without all the makeup, the
jewelry, and the wild clothes,
1786
01:25:23,580 --> 01:25:25,370
I'm not that rocker guy.
1787
01:25:25,370 --> 01:25:27,630
I never was that rocker guy.
1788
01:25:27,630 --> 01:25:30,100
I only pretended to be him
so that I could look cool
1789
01:25:30,100 --> 01:25:31,253
and get a girlfriend.
1790
01:25:32,340 --> 01:25:33,770
I don't do drugs.
1791
01:25:33,770 --> 01:25:36,090
I never have and I never will.
1792
01:25:36,090 --> 01:25:38,420
When I'm not pretending
to be Mr. Rock and Roll,
1793
01:25:38,420 --> 01:25:42,570
I listen to Reba McEntire,
Simon and Garfunkel,
1794
01:25:42,570 --> 01:25:45,810
Kenny Chesney, James
Taylor, and John Denver.
1795
01:25:45,810 --> 01:25:46,683
- No shit.
1796
01:25:47,670 --> 01:25:50,780
- I also happen to have a 4.0 GPA.
1797
01:25:50,780 --> 01:25:53,130
I've received first honors every year
1798
01:25:53,130 --> 01:25:54,833
since my freshman year.
1799
01:25:56,270 --> 01:25:58,790
But I told the school to take
my name out of the honors list
1800
01:25:58,790 --> 01:26:02,280
because I thought it might
interfere with my image.
1801
01:26:02,280 --> 01:26:03,530
I don't feel like I need to pretend
1802
01:26:03,530 --> 01:26:05,250
to be someone that I'm not anymore
1803
01:26:05,250 --> 01:26:07,370
to look cool and get a girlfriend.
1804
01:26:07,370 --> 01:26:09,280
If the girl I like turns me down,
1805
01:26:09,280 --> 01:26:12,190
I'll simply take the pain and move on.
1806
01:26:12,190 --> 01:26:15,140
I'm done pretending to
be someone that I'm not.
1807
01:26:15,140 --> 01:26:18,270
- Wow, Bentley, I had no idea.
1808
01:26:18,270 --> 01:26:20,430
- I think what you're doing is admirable.
1809
01:26:20,430 --> 01:26:21,400
- I agree.
1810
01:26:21,400 --> 01:26:24,400
It takes some serious balls to
completely change your image,
1811
01:26:24,400 --> 01:26:27,250
you know, the one that you
built over the last two years.
1812
01:26:28,550 --> 01:26:32,630
- I don't think you'll have any
trouble finding a nice girl.
1813
01:26:32,630 --> 01:26:34,210
- I already found one.
1814
01:26:34,210 --> 01:26:36,400
I started dating her several weeks ago.
1815
01:26:36,400 --> 01:26:38,500
- That's great.
1816
01:26:38,500 --> 01:26:40,490
Good for you, Bent.
1817
01:26:40,490 --> 01:26:42,020
- Where is she from?
1818
01:26:42,020 --> 01:26:43,340
- Around here.
1819
01:26:43,340 --> 01:26:44,860
- What's she like?
1820
01:26:44,860 --> 01:26:47,520
- She's beautiful, inside and out.
1821
01:26:47,520 --> 01:26:51,040
She has an amazing personality
and a killer sense of humor.
1822
01:26:51,040 --> 01:26:53,850
I can't imagine her not being in my life.
1823
01:26:53,850 --> 01:26:56,820
- Well, how come you never
mentioned her before?
1824
01:26:56,820 --> 01:27:00,340
- Because I wasn't sure if
she'd have me as her boyfriend.
1825
01:27:00,340 --> 01:27:01,563
I'm still not sure.
1826
01:27:03,030 --> 01:27:06,760
- Wait, I thought that you
said that you were dating her.
1827
01:27:06,760 --> 01:27:08,113
- I have been.
1828
01:27:08,970 --> 01:27:12,520
I just don't know if she's been dating me.
1829
01:27:12,520 --> 01:27:15,050
- Man, you're not making much sense.
1830
01:27:15,050 --> 01:27:17,760
- How would you not know
if she was dating you?
1831
01:27:17,760 --> 01:27:20,530
- Yeah, why don't you just ask her?
1832
01:27:20,530 --> 01:27:22,440
- I'm trying to.
1833
01:27:22,440 --> 01:27:23,880
- What's her name?
1834
01:27:23,880 --> 01:27:26,660
- Normandy is her name.
1835
01:27:26,660 --> 01:27:29,770
- Normandy is my name.
1836
01:27:29,770 --> 01:27:30,720
- The one and only.
1837
01:27:36,210 --> 01:27:38,955
- I liked you as a rocker
and as you are now.
1838
01:27:38,955 --> 01:27:41,450
The clothing, the hair, and the makeup
1839
01:27:41,450 --> 01:27:43,583
could never change the
true person you are.
1840
01:27:46,240 --> 01:27:47,630
So there you have it.
1841
01:27:47,630 --> 01:27:49,820
In 30 days of what I initially pegged
1842
01:27:49,820 --> 01:27:53,090
as digital-less purgatory
and a nightmare on steroids
1843
01:27:53,090 --> 01:27:56,630
turned out to be arguably some
of the best days of my life.
1844
01:27:56,630 --> 01:27:59,300
Although I lost my best
friend, Granny Chick,
1845
01:27:59,300 --> 01:28:01,240
I also gained four new best friends,
1846
01:28:01,240 --> 01:28:03,810
one of which is Olivia of all people.
1847
01:28:03,810 --> 01:28:05,810
And to top it off, I
also gained a boyfriend
1848
01:28:05,810 --> 01:28:07,760
who likes me for being me.
1849
01:28:07,760 --> 01:28:09,500
I'm sure Granny Chick is smiling right now
1850
01:28:09,500 --> 01:28:11,170
as her Screw the Blue movement
1851
01:28:11,170 --> 01:28:13,200
is now an American phenomenon.
1852
01:28:13,200 --> 01:28:15,600
It's hard to go anywhere
and not see the impact.
1853
01:28:16,460 --> 01:28:19,670
In retrospect, this
digital-free journey was one
1854
01:28:19,670 --> 01:28:22,280
of the best things that
has ever happened to me.
1855
01:28:22,280 --> 01:28:24,300
It gave me precious time with Granny Chick
1856
01:28:24,300 --> 01:28:26,660
and it allowed me to
connect and bond with people
1857
01:28:26,660 --> 01:28:29,000
that otherwise I wouldn't.
1858
01:28:29,000 --> 01:28:30,450
The five of us are best friends
1859
01:28:30,450 --> 01:28:32,380
and to this day, whenever we get together,
1860
01:28:32,380 --> 01:28:36,000
no matter where we are, each
of us follow an unwritten rule.
1861
01:28:36,000 --> 01:28:37,960
It has never been broken by any of us
1862
01:28:37,960 --> 01:28:39,700
and I don't think it ever will.
1863
01:28:39,700 --> 01:28:41,150
Free from outside distractions
1864
01:28:41,150 --> 01:28:44,350
and bound by the most basic
of human interaction we share,
1865
01:28:44,350 --> 01:28:46,700
we connect and we accept each other.
1866
01:28:46,700 --> 01:28:48,210
Normandy is my name
1867
01:28:48,210 --> 01:28:50,973
and you can banish June
28th to the history books.
1868
01:28:51,860 --> 01:28:53,670
By the way, Bentley did write that song
1869
01:28:53,670 --> 01:28:55,470
loosely based on my harmless poking fun
1870
01:28:55,470 --> 01:28:56,500
of the widely admired
1871
01:28:56,500 --> 01:28:59,600
and sometimes required
European men's swimwear.
1872
01:28:59,600 --> 01:29:01,400
I think he may actually have a hit.
1873
01:29:01,400 --> 01:29:04,000
Can't wait to see it make
a run on the iTunes chart.
1874
01:29:41,571 --> 01:29:44,130
- Oh, he is really sexy.
1875
01:29:44,130 --> 01:29:44,963
- Who?
1876
01:29:44,963 --> 01:29:48,090
- The guy in the Speedo, I
like his choice in swimwear.
1877
01:29:48,090 --> 01:29:49,470
- That's disgusting.
1878
01:31:28,823 --> 01:31:33,823
♪ I'm gonna have a meltdown ♪
1879
01:31:34,271 --> 01:31:38,787
♪ I'm gonna have a meltdown ♪
1880
01:31:38,787 --> 01:31:43,787
♪ And when I do ♪
1881
01:31:44,171 --> 01:31:49,171
♪ There'll be no room for you ♪
1882
01:31:50,683 --> 01:31:55,683
♪ I'm gonna have a meltdown ♪
1883
01:31:56,173 --> 01:32:00,442
♪ I'm gonna have to roll down ♪
1884
01:32:00,442 --> 01:32:05,442
♪ South through LA ♪
1885
01:32:05,995 --> 01:32:10,995
♪ There I might be okay ♪
1886
01:32:11,796 --> 01:32:16,046
♪ Quiet night will set me straight ♪
1887
01:32:23,396 --> 01:32:28,396
♪ I'm gonna stand my own ground ♪
1888
01:32:28,793 --> 01:32:33,267
♪ I'm gonna stand my own ground ♪
1889
01:32:33,267 --> 01:32:38,267
♪ We'll find a way ♪
1890
01:32:39,178 --> 01:32:44,178
♪ And maybe I'll stay ♪
1891
01:32:44,977 --> 01:32:48,810
♪ Renowned, bound to my faith ♪
1892
01:33:02,225 --> 01:33:07,225
♪ On down the road ♪
1893
01:33:07,644 --> 01:33:12,644
♪ On down that dark and lonely road ♪
1894
01:33:13,094 --> 01:33:16,532
♪ On down the road ♪
1895
01:33:16,532 --> 01:33:20,535
♪ Happiness ♪
1896
01:33:20,535 --> 01:33:22,952
♪ Is no joke ♪
1897
01:33:56,252 --> 01:34:01,252
♪ I'm gonna hold my arms out ♪
1898
01:34:01,535 --> 01:34:06,010
♪ I'm gonna hold my arms out ♪
1899
01:34:06,010 --> 01:34:11,010
♪ And welcome you ♪
1900
01:34:11,765 --> 01:34:16,765
♪ Back into my room ♪
1901
01:34:17,318 --> 01:34:22,318
♪ I was gone ♪
1902
01:34:23,471 --> 01:34:27,969
♪ Gone ♪
1903
01:34:27,969 --> 01:34:30,886
♪ But now I'm home ♪
1904
01:35:12,514 --> 01:35:17,514
♪ I'm gonna hold my arms out ♪
1905
01:35:17,864 --> 01:35:22,435
♪ I'm gonna hold my arms out ♪
1906
01:35:22,435 --> 01:35:27,435
♪ And welcome you ♪
1907
01:35:28,210 --> 01:35:33,210
♪ Back into my room ♪
1908
01:35:33,660 --> 01:35:38,660
♪ I was gone ♪
1909
01:35:39,716 --> 01:35:44,354
♪ Gone ♪
1910
01:35:44,354 --> 01:35:47,271
♪ But now I'm home ♪
1911
01:36:08,691 --> 01:36:09,914
♪ Meltdown ♪
1912
01:36:09,914 --> 01:36:14,914
♪ I'm gonna have a meltdown ♪
1913
01:36:15,149 --> 01:36:20,149
♪ I'm gonna have a meltdown ♪
1914
01:36:20,576 --> 01:36:24,243
♪ I'm gonna have a meltdown ♪
1914
01:36:25,305 --> 01:37:25,536
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