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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:04,418 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:22,715 (ASTEROID READING) 3 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:25,690 I'm your host, a talking asteroid. 4 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,259 Today's story is called 5 00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,658 The Legend of the Burrito Monday 6 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:31,370 by Mark Kregner. 7 00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:32,931 Book, please. 8 00:00:32,999 --> 00:00:34,169 (GRUNTS) 9 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,804 Luckily, I memorized it. 10 00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:40,810 (CLEARS THROAT) 11 00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:43,705 where the greedy old billionaire, Elmer Scrooge, 12 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,007 is counting all his money. 13 00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:47,349 One billion one, 14 00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:48,724 one billion two. 15 00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:52,692 I'm a billionaire. (LAUGHS) 16 00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:56,523 Whoa! (GRUNTS, GROANS) 17 00:00:56,591 --> 00:00:59,461 How many times have I told you to knock before coming in? 18 00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:00,656 Several times. 19 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:03,728 Anyhow, here you go. 20 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:08,040 Three billion and one dollars? 21 00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:11,012 I was supposed to be three billion and two dollars. 22 00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:14,212 But it's just a dollar. 23 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,305 but, to me, it's one hundred cents. 24 00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:19,277 I'm taking that dollar from your pay check. 25 00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:21,077 Now finish the rest of this paper work, 26 00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,978 and I'll see you tomorrow morning. 27 00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:25,450 But tomorrow is a holiday, sir. 28 00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,619 Well, what holiday? 29 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:28,857 Why it's Burrito Monday, sir. 30 00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,123 Who thought that one up? 31 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:33,391 Some sort of cartoon writer/producer? 32 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:36,731 Burrito Monday is the day when everyone buys burritos 33 00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:38,467 because they hate Mondays. 34 00:01:38,533 --> 00:01:41,303 You need to celebrate Burrito Monday, sir. 35 00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:46,268 Enough of this nonsense! 36 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:48,239 And don't touch my money. 37 00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:49,978 Burrito Monday, bah. 38 00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,214 I've never heard of anything more ridiculous. 39 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,450 PUNKINHEAD: ♪ Deck the halls For Burrito Monday 40 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:57,475 ♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la La tortillas ♪ 41 00:01:57,551 --> 00:02:01,221 Season's eatings, sir. 42 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,719 a decent burrito on Burrito Monday? 43 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:06,561 No way. I don't celebrate made up holidays, 44 00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,187 and I don't like poor people. 45 00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:09,231 Gross! 46 00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:12,097 But it's not made up. It's real. 47 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:15,366 Yeah, it was on December 9th, 2002. 48 00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:16,665 There was a giant snow storm 49 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,837 in the city of Chicago, Illinois. 50 00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,606 CURT:And no one had nothing to eat. 51 00:02:20,675 --> 00:02:24,175 It was the worst Monday in the history of Mondays. 52 00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:25,745 PUNKINHEAD:But, then, at midnight, 53 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,123 a giant burrito done floated over the city, 54 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:30,282 and everyone took a pinch of it. 55 00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:33,421 CURT:And it filled their bellies with joy. 56 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:37,427 (BOTH MUNCHING) 57 00:02:37,492 --> 00:02:41,802 (LOUDLY) If you two would get out of my face! 58 00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,302 (WIND WHISTLING) 59 00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:46,474 Those two and their crazy stories. 60 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,743 Elmer Scrooge. 61 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,043 Huh? Oh! 62 00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,835 Must be my imagination. 63 00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:57,776 I'm all worked up 64 00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,875 (YAWNS) 65 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:04,947 A good night's sleep will calm my frazzled nerves. 66 00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:08,155 Elmer Scrooge. 67 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:09,892 Who's there? Show yourself. 68 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:13,327 It is I, the ghost of Yosemite Sam. 69 00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:17,373 Yosemite Sam? 70 00:03:17,432 --> 00:03:20,102 Of course, I did. I just told you I was a ghost. 71 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,167 I don't believe in ghosts. 72 00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:25,065 Oh, yeah? 73 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,968 Boo! 74 00:03:27,041 --> 00:03:28,341 Booga, booga, booga. 75 00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:30,479 All right, all right, I believe in ghosts. 76 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:31,854 What do you want, Sam? 77 00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,452 I've come to give you a warning. 78 00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:36,154 If you don't change your evil, greedy ways, 79 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:38,147 you will be doomed to walk the Earth 80 00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:40,419 covered in cilantro like me. 81 00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:43,718 (GASPS) I hate cilantro. It tastes like soap. 82 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,891 How do I avoid this terrible fate? 83 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,860 Tonight, you are gonna be visited 84 00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:51,328 by the three spirits of Burrito Monday. 85 00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:54,429 They will show you what you need to do. 86 00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:55,641 (SCREAMS) 87 00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,742 (CRASHES) 88 00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,665 He's gone. Was that real? 89 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,080 Oh, who am I kidding? 90 00:04:01,142 --> 00:04:02,782 There's no such thing as ghosts. 91 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,513 I'm going back to bed. 92 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,748 (YAWNS) 93 00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:11,254 (SCREAMS, GROANS) 94 00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:14,518 Whose past? 95 00:04:14,589 --> 00:04:18,389 To figure out what turned you into such a (STUTTERS) dirty meanie. 96 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:21,729 I'm not a meanie. Now, get out of house. 97 00:04:21,796 --> 00:04:24,196 -Ow! -You need to worry less about yourself, 98 00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:28,695 and more about others. Now, come along. (BLOWS AIR) 99 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,469 Do you recognize this place? 100 00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:32,007 Why, it's my old house. 101 00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,412 And that's my old pet horse, Apple Butter. 102 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,575 Oh, we would eat the days away, 103 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:39,654 This time, I put extra black beans in mine and what not. 104 00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:42,484 I made mine extra big by using two tortillas. 105 00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:45,150 Elmer, what do you think you're doing? 106 00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:47,719 Oh, uh, we were just, uh, doing our chores. 107 00:04:47,789 --> 00:04:50,419 You were eating Mexican food with that horse again. 108 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,491 He's become too much of a distraction. 109 00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:53,759 He has to go. 110 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,597 Apple Butter! 111 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:58,773 Goodbye, Elmer, I'll never forget you. 112 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,332 Oh, Apple Butter. 113 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,801 My father took him to the Glue Factory. 114 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,510 He worked for the rest of his life 115 00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:07,172 as the assistant manager of the food court. 116 00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:09,081 I never saw him again. 117 00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:12,353 (CRYING LOUDLY) 118 00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:15,582 I'm sorry, 119 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,779 Your next stop. 120 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,250 -(BLOWS AIR) -(COUGHS) 121 00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:21,519 Hello, Ghost of Burrito Monday Past. 122 00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:22,458 Where did you go? 123 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,893 EERIE VOICE: Whoo, ooh, ooh. 124 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,088 Is that you, Spirit? 125 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,830 What do you want from me? 126 00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:33,666 ASTEROID:Ooh, scary. 127 00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:34,774 (SLURPING) 128 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,735 -(SHATTERS) -(GRUNTS) 129 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:40,543 We'll be right back. 130 00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:43,938 Yes, one Meteor Lover's pizza, please. 131 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:48,021 Welcome back. 132 00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:50,022 by another spooky ghost. 133 00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:52,954 Let's watch, shall we? 134 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,150 EERIE VOICE: Whoo, ooh, ooh. 135 00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,291 Is that you, Spirit? 136 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:57,086 EERIE VOICE: Whoo, ooh, ooh. 137 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,427 Whoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo! 138 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:02,932 Who are you? 139 00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:05,026 I don't wanna talk about Burrito Monday. 140 00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:07,169 Don't you mean you don't wanna guac about it? 141 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:08,974 Well, you don't have to. (SNAPS FINGERS) 142 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,296 Because we're here. 143 00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,911 -Where's here? -Bugs Cratchit's house. 144 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:16,143 BIGFOOT: Come on, guys. 145 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,510 will be here with a burrito. 146 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,308 ♪ And a burrito in a pantry ♪ 147 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:23,221 Hey, everyone, it's me, actor Sean Astin. 148 00:06:23,284 --> 00:06:24,894 The burrito is here! 149 00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:26,752 ALL: Hurray! 150 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,833 -Oh, it's kinda small. -Yeah. 151 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:36,263 Well, all I know 152 00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:39,170 Hey, Sean, why don't you do some acting before we eat? 153 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:40,873 Oh, I don't know. 154 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,104 Yeah, I wanna eat. 155 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:43,439 All right, you talked me into it. 156 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:46,014 This is from Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. 157 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,443 (CLEARS THROAT) 158 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,738 "If music be the food of love, 159 00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:52,911 "play..." (COUGHING) 160 00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:55,020 Actor Sean Astin, are you okay? 161 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:58,022 I'm just weak from lack of food. (COUGHS) 162 00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:01,115 Oh, no, actor Sean Astin looks so ill. 163 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,258 Tell me, Spirit, what will happen to him? 164 00:07:03,324 --> 00:07:08,104 I see an upcoming movie 165 00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:10,162 -Well, I gotta take off. -Now? 166 00:07:10,231 --> 00:07:12,101 I'm the Ghost of Burrito Monday Present. 167 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,996 It's always now. 168 00:07:14,068 --> 00:07:15,938 So long. Whoo, hoo, hoo, hoo! 169 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,143 Wait, I'll raise Bugs' salary. 170 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:19,535 I'll make it right. 171 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,636 Elmer. 172 00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:26,049 I'm the Ghost of Burrito Monday Future. 173 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:29,983 Egads! What sort of creature are you? 174 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,350 I'm a Martian. 175 00:07:31,419 --> 00:07:33,919 I'm here to tell you about your future. 176 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:37,587 Come with me. 177 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:41,298 Yeah, can you believe the old man finally kicked the bucket? 178 00:07:41,362 --> 00:07:43,862 I thought he'd never pass away. 179 00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,971 What happened to all his money? 180 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:50,173 No one knows. 181 00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:54,237 (ALL LAUGHING) 182 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:56,908 We have to steal all this old dead guy stuff 183 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,907 before they auction it off. 184 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,249 Nice work, Claud. 185 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,654 That ought to be worth something. 186 00:08:01,716 --> 00:08:03,976 -Ooh, I wanna see. -(GROANING) 187 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,591 -Will you... -No. Me! 188 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:09,093 You guys wanna see stars, I'll show you stars. 189 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,486 (BOTH YELPING) 190 00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,758 Does no one care this man is dead? 191 00:08:12,827 --> 00:08:17,827 Enough of this, Spirit! Take me away from here! 192 00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:20,698 (GRUNTS) This is Bugs Cratchit's house. 193 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:23,398 BUGS: So everyone decided to eat a burrito. 194 00:08:23,471 --> 00:08:28,471 (CRYING) Everyone felt the warmth of this burrito miracle. 195 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:29,681 Sorry, guys. 196 00:08:29,744 --> 00:08:32,184 It's just, usually actor Sean Astin 197 00:08:32,246 --> 00:08:34,706 tells the story of Burrito Monday 198 00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:36,681 I miss him so much. 199 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,990 (CRYING LOUDLY) 200 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,992 Where is actor Sean Astin? 201 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,894 (GASPS) Is he... 202 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,426 No. Worse. 203 00:08:45,493 --> 00:08:49,603 "To be or not to be." 204 00:08:49,664 --> 00:08:52,004 WOMAN: Can I get a warm up on this coffee? 205 00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,395 Of course, right away, ma'am. 206 00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:55,437 He's doing dinner theater? 207 00:08:55,503 --> 00:08:57,403 That's a fate worse than death! 208 00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:59,941 Speaking of which... 209 00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,637 Why are we by this open grave? 210 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:04,279 Wait, I know. It's mine, isn't it? 211 00:09:04,345 --> 00:09:06,175 Well, yeah. 212 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,616 Tell me how I can avoid this fate. 213 00:09:08,683 --> 00:09:12,123 You know how to do it. Now, get in there! 214 00:09:12,186 --> 00:09:14,516 (SCREAMING) 215 00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:17,888 Black beans and hot sauce? 216 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,628 No, please! 217 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:22,533 No, please! 218 00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,926 I'm alive! I'm back in my room. 219 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,498 Maybe it's not too late. (GRUNTS) 220 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:31,808 Hello, boy. Hello, girl. What day is it today? 221 00:09:31,873 --> 00:09:34,943 Why, it's Burrito Monday, sir. (GRUNTS) 222 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:39,578 I didn't miss it! 223 00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:42,576 We do, sir. 224 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,250 that was hanging in the window? 225 00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:46,488 -Why, it's hanging there now. -(GRUNTS) 226 00:09:46,554 --> 00:09:49,524 ELMER: Go buy it and take it to Bugs Cratchit's house. 227 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,890 You there! I want to give you something. 228 00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:55,328 Don't move. 229 00:09:55,396 --> 00:09:57,556 who can't afford a burrito today. 230 00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:58,530 (LAUGHS) 231 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,169 I think that old man... 232 00:10:00,234 --> 00:10:03,004 ...done lost his mind. 233 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,370 I don't understand. 234 00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,608 Who would send us a giant burrito? 235 00:10:06,674 --> 00:10:08,944 I don't know, but I ain't complaing. 236 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:10,679 -(KNOCK ON DOOR) -Come in. 237 00:10:10,745 --> 00:10:13,575 -(THUDS) -(WIND HOWLING) 238 00:10:13,648 --> 00:10:16,348 I know, sir. I was just about to leave. 239 00:10:16,417 --> 00:10:17,417 Don't bother. 240 00:10:17,485 --> 00:10:19,045 I'm tired of this behavior. 241 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,259 In fact, I'm so tired of it, 242 00:10:21,322 --> 00:10:24,662 I'm going to have to give you the day off. 243 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,555 What? I did not see this coming. 244 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,798 Happy Burrito Monday, Bugs. 245 00:10:29,864 --> 00:10:32,104 Not only am I gonna raise your salary, 246 00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:35,637 I'm also gonna help your struggling extended family. 247 00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:39,473 It's a Burrito Monday miracle! 248 00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:43,310 No, actor Sean Astin, you're the miracle. 249 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:46,147 Burrito, bless us everyone. 250 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:50,423 ALL: And salsa to you. 251 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:54,864 Happy Burrito Monday to all, and to all a good bite. 252 00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,421 (CHOMPING) 253 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,996 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 17594

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