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1
00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:04,593
Na-no, na-no.
2
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:08,000
Ripped By mstoll
3
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- Mom. Mom.
- You're from Neptune?
4
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,686
My name is Kalnik,
but please call me Kal.
5
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:40,332
You live on Earth? Me too.
What do you do?
6
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,799
Well, I'm an observer,
and I enjoy folk dancing.
7
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:45,028
I'm an observer also.
8
00:01:46,573 --> 00:01:48,632
- What a small galaxy.
- What a small galaxy.
9
00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:50,776
Years ago, I never even knew
there were aliens,
10
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,879
- and here I am, sitting with two.
- I know what you mean.
11
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,980
I would like to make a toast here.
12
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:58,515
A friendship
that spans the universe.
13
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,153
Oh. Mm-hm.
14
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:03,221
Are you satisfied with the Orkan?
15
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:05,880
I can mold him
into whatever I want.
16
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,719
- What about the woman?
- She's of no use.
17
00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,828
- She'll have to be eliminated.
- The child?
18
00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:12,829
The son, Mearth, is nothing
but a useless mutant.
19
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,796
No one calls my son a mutant.
Take a hike.
20
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,698
What are you getting so upset about?
We have important business.
21
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:21,671
- We have nothing to discuss. Leave.
- You'll live to regret this, Orkan.
22
00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:27,869
- You're so sweet.
- What is going on?
23
00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:31,813
- Mind, you know I'd never cheat.
- Take your hands off... Ah!
24
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:35,477
- You're an android.
- And I'm also a bomb.
25
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,247
A bomb! Hide.
26
00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:45,154
- Are you okay, Mork?
- Still think I'm paranoid, Mind?
27
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:46,559
Kalnik's after us.
28
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,394
Gotta go someplace
where he won't find us.
29
00:02:48,568 --> 00:02:51,503
I have a feeling we're never
gonna see this place again.
30
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,909
Oh, boy, Arizona's beautiful,
isn't it, Mind?
31
00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:04,345
Painted deserts, purple mountains.
32
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:07,918
- It's gonna be a great place to die.
- All right.
33
00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:10,419
Now, I didn't say anything
when you said you saw a cactus
34
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:13,081
- take down our license plate number.
- I did.
35
00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:15,727
But enough is enough, Mork.
36
00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:18,295
We've put a lot of distance
between us and Kalnik.
37
00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:21,228
Mind, don't you underestimate Kal.
He's got a Porsche.
38
00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:25,802
This is an emergency situation.
We need you. Okay?
39
00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:31,069
So don't fall apart, like you do when
your potato chip has a little green on it.
40
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:33,474
Oh, I do hate that. But you're right.
41
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:38,212
Gonna hang tough, gotta be cool.
You're right.
42
00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:47,389
Agent 46 to Kalnik. We've located
the alien. Shall we take him?
43
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:52,122
No, keep him
in sight, but save him for me. Ha-ha!
44
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,959
Go.
45
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:16,781
There you go.
46
00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:18,947
I don't believe you, Mommy.
47
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:24,620
You're asking an innocent child
to sleep here in this dirt?
48
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,697
Mearth, I've explained to you.
49
00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:29,960
This is sort of a spur
of the moment camping trip,
50
00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:32,263
and you're just gonna have
to bear with us. Okay?
51
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:35,965
Oh, that's all right for you to say.
You've got the air mattress.
52
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:40,275
We all agreed that the coin toss
was fair, all right?
53
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:44,382
- Night-night. Pleasant dreams.
- Night-night. Sure.
54
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:47,644
And I've got this Gila monster
for a pillow.
55
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,669
- Mind? Ha-ha-ha.
- Ah!
56
00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:11,207
- Mork.
- Oh, look at that.
57
00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:13,470
Georgia O'Keeffe's hood ornament.
58
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:16,171
Talk about the Scarsdale Diet. Whoa.
59
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,349
Oh, Mind.
60
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,010
- Very funny.
- Oh, come on now, Mind.
61
00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:24,383
What are you upset about?
You got the air mattress.
62
00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:26,582
And all I get is the tumbleweed
as a pillow.
63
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:30,923
Mork, we have a dollar-56
left to our names.
64
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:33,691
Now, we've gotta stay out of sight
till we get a message to Dad
65
00:05:33,866 --> 00:05:36,357
to bring us more money.
66
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,197
But to tide us over,
67
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,669
I think we're gonna have to pawn
our wedding rings.
68
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,502
Oh, Mind, no. I mean, that's a symbol
of our love and commitment.
69
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,941
I mean,
couldn't you just sell your hair?
70
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,378
Look what's happened to us.
71
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:51,779
Mork, the biggest thing
we had to worry about yesterday
72
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:55,352
was trying to find a decent plumber,
and now we're running for our lives.
73
00:05:55,521 --> 00:06:00,083
- I'm scared.
- Oh, so am I. Come here, come here.
74
00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:04,185
I should've known better
than to trust somebody from Neptune.
75
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,231
On Neptune,
Pia Zadora would've won the Oscar.
76
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,961
Oh...
77
00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:14,198
It's so hard to stay depressed
around you.
78
00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:18,133
Oh, Mind, I guess
that's why Ingmar Bergman
79
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,073
doesn't come over
and play tennis anymore.
80
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:34,889
Five-love.
81
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:45,904
Will you look at this place?
82
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,734
Looks like Sylvester Stallone's library.
83
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:54,173
Who cares? It's a better place to hide
than Edna's Reptile Dinner Theater.
84
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:58,111
I loved it
when that iguana sang "Oklahoma."
85
00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:01,742
I'm hungry. Where do you suppose
the coffee shop is?
86
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,412
The last thing I had to eat
was a Junior Mint,
87
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:07,582
and that was stuck
to the sole of my shoe.
88
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,160
Yeah, but you didn't share it,
you wretched little churl.
89
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:12,593
All right, let's not start this again.
90
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:15,700
Mearth, what we're gonna do, we'll
check in and go to the coffee shop,
91
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:18,166
and then when Dad comes,
we'll be able to pay for it.
92
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:23,970
Come on, everybody, let's go.
Come on, let's go.
93
00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:28,842
Come on. All right.
This is the last lap.
94
00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:34,848
Enjoy it. Okay, this is the last stretch.
Oh, terrific.
95
00:07:35,021 --> 00:07:37,489
Let's all give ourselves
a Hidden Hills hand
96
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:40,182
for the splendid job we did
on our run today.
97
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:45,161
And let's try to forget
about what happened to Angela.
98
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,168
Time for lunch, everybody.
99
00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:54,637
Today's meal is a carrot stick
and a picture of a potato.
100
00:07:54,807 --> 00:08:01,508
Let's go. Remember, you can
never be too rich or too thin. Ha-ha!
101
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,474
I have a feeling
this place is a fat farm.
102
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,678
Yeah, and what a bumper crop.
103
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:16,553
One, two, three, four,
104
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:20,756
soon you'll fit through the door.
105
00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:23,197
I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy
106
00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:26,338
Okay, everybody,
let's shake it out now.
107
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,566
All right, everybody in a semi-circle.
108
00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:31,710
Come on.
109
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:35,673
Good. Okay.
110
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:40,074
Time now for sharing and caring.
111
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,179
Stella, would you like to begin?
112
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,517
- Do you gotta stand?
- Yes.
113
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,023
Okay, give me a minute.
114
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,519
Come on, Stella, you can do it.
115
00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:57,026
Well, my name is Stella Benson,
and I have a weight problem.
116
00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,297
But I feel good about myself,
because I've lost 17 pounds.
117
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,904
And now, when I go on an airplane,
118
00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:08,069
they'll allow the other passengers
to take luggage.
119
00:09:08,247 --> 00:09:12,877
Thank you, Stella.
Okay, who wants to go next?
120
00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:17,782
- Dinner!
- Dinner!
121
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:28,093
Mork, it's been three days of starving.
I can't take much more of this.
122
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,963
Yeah, it's almost like Mahatma Ghandi
opened up a burger stand.
123
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,503
- Mommy. Mommy. Daddy.
- Oh, what, Mearth?
124
00:09:33,673 --> 00:09:36,437
There's a woman after me.
She's from Indiana, and she's a widow.
125
00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:39,578
And she wants me to take over
her late husband's shoe factory.
126
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:42,407
A whole factory?
Son, you have my blessing.
127
00:09:42,848 --> 00:09:46,079
Mearth, don't worry about it.
Just try to stay in large groups.
128
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,413
Around here that's not hard to do.
129
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:52,783
Oh, my looks have become a curse.
130
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:57,756
- Mork, Mindy, are you all right?
- Oh, Dad.
131
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,693
Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
132
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:03,164
We didn't want to drag you into all of
this, but there's no one else to turn to.
133
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:06,328
Well, honey, what's a father for?
I'm just glad you're not hurt.
134
00:10:06,505 --> 00:10:10,100
Oh, Dad, I hate to be the clich�d
son-in-law, but where are our bucks?
135
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,607
- Oh, here.
- Oh, bless you.
136
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:15,110
Hey, hey, what's your hurry? I haven't
even seen my little grandson yet.
137
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,011
Look at this mondo dinero.
138
00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:21,085
You must have gotten a great
settlement in your hair-transplant suit.
139
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:26,284
- Dad, we don't need all this money.
- Oh, that's all right.
140
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:32,091
I can afford to be generous.
After all, you'll never live to spend it.
141
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:36,699
Kalnik.
142
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,664
Oh... Oh!
143
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:44,469
Oh, Mind, we're not gonna hit
our target weight after all.
144
00:10:55,721 --> 00:11:01,682
All right, now, what has four legs
and ten seconds to live?
145
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:04,421
Wait a minute, I know this one. Uh...
146
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:07,895
It's... I think it's... Sounds like...
147
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,729
Oh, would you shut up, Ork breath?
148
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:13,098
Both of you,
put your fingers in your ears.
149
00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:15,570
Go ahead. And stand on one foot.
150
00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:21,713
Boy, do you look stupid.
151
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,048
Why do you want to kill us?
152
00:11:25,217 --> 00:11:28,744
Because you're the only ones that can
throw a monkey wrench into my plans.
153
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:33,051
I have to kill all three of you
and then get back for my haircut by 4.
154
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:39,726
- Now, where's the little mutant?
- No, not Mearth. He's just a child.
155
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,389
Well...
156
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,797
No, I'm gonna kill him.
157
00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:48,198
- You're insane.
- I'm just a product of your sick society.
158
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:51,537
When I came to Earth, all I wanted
to do was open a little restaurant.
159
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,303
I had trouble getting a liquor license.
160
00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:56,778
I decided it would be easier
to take over the planet instead.
161
00:11:56,949 --> 00:11:59,247
Well, I'm glad you shared
this moment with us
162
00:11:59,418 --> 00:12:02,148
because it probably makes you feel
better about blowing us away.
163
00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:05,757
- Yes, it does.
- Oh, really?
164
00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:10,225
Oh, Mork, Mork, if only you
had my vision of the future.
165
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:13,229
If only you had one tenth
of my power and brilliance
166
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,596
instead of the ambition
of a substitute teacher.
167
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:18,964
I infiltrated your government.
168
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:23,438
I took an ineffective arm
of a consumer protection agency
169
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:27,136
and turned them
into my own personal army.
170
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:35,511
I told them that you were the aliens
threatening the planet.
171
00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:38,713
Catchy twist, isn't it?
172
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:43,693
Thank you. There was a draft.
173
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:46,229
All right, all right.
174
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:50,131
- Any last words?
- Oh, Mork.
175
00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:51,792
Mind.
176
00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:55,499
I'm so glad we had this time together
177
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:58,871
Just to have a laugh and sing a song
178
00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:02,104
Seems we just got started
And before we know it
179
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:05,944
Comes the time
We have to say, "So long"
180
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,952
- Okay, hold it right there.
- Ah! Don't shoot me, Mindy.
181
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,852
Don't shoot me, Mindy.
Don't shoot me.
182
00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:14,890
Get out of the way, you dumbbell.
183
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:22,364
- Okay, you hold it right there.
- Oh, no, you wouldn't fire that gun.
184
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,196
Oh, yes, I would.
185
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:26,900
No, no, no.
186
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,330
I'll get this back to you by Tuesday.
187
00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:31,976
Kal, I'm warning you.
188
00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:35,511
All you Earth women are good for
is standing in line
189
00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:38,047
at the movies
while your husbands park the car.
190
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:41,482
- Stay back. I'm not kidding.
- You don't have the guts.
191
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:45,750
Yes, I do.
I just don't have the instructions.
192
00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:49,725
Mind, Mind, I'm open. Here.
193
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:52,989
Mind, was that you or the Memorex?
194
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,834
That was my mother's ray gun.
195
00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:02,665
All right, you just bought yourself
another minute to live.
196
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:07,404
- But, oh, is it gonna hurt.
- Oh, yeah? What about this, huh?
197
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:12,347
Oh, your dinky, little finger is no match
for my telekinetic powers.
198
00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:24,756
You did it now, Jack. That's it.
199
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:28,866
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Yeah, yeah.
200
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,889
Yeah.
201
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:59,595
Howard, boxing has been good to me.
202
00:14:59,765 --> 00:15:02,165
You didn't fight.
Come on, you gotta get mad, Mork.
203
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:04,063
You can think of things you hate.
204
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,568
Yeah, yeah, post-nasal drip
and your perm.
205
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,798
Yeah. My perm?
What do you mean, my perm?
206
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,169
Oh, I'm teasing now.
207
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:15,012
Come on. Come on.
208
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:28,125
Bachelor number one,
are you employed?
209
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,329
Yeah.
210
00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:43,472
Mind, look, little birds everywhere.
211
00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:44,939
Okay.
212
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:50,013
Okay, this has been fun, gang,
but it's death time.
213
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:55,681
- Oh, no.
- Oh, Mommy, Daddy, what's this?
214
00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:57,845
The feeb.
215
00:15:58,824 --> 00:16:01,190
Kalnik.
216
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,455
Oh, please, don't hurt them.
217
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:07,963
Who would ever adopt
a 200-pound orphan?
218
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,361
Mearth, quick, run for it.
219
00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:13,963
Drat.
220
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:17,908
That's all right, son. Maybe you and I
could band together against him.
221
00:16:18,077 --> 00:16:21,877
We'll be the best father and son team
since Raymond and Aaron Burr.
222
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:33,158
Go on, Mind. We can't
hold out for very long. Save yourself.
223
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,088
No, I'm not going anywhere
without you.
224
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:37,353
Oh, bless you, Mind.
225
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:57,180
The ultimate Caucasian.
226
00:17:00,986 --> 00:17:02,783
I turned him into a statue.
227
00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:07,551
Well, it's all over.
We might as well go home.
228
00:17:07,726 --> 00:17:09,421
- I guess.
- I guess you're right.
229
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:13,531
Son, we did it.
Oh, you little pooterette.
230
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,894
- Give your daddy five.
- Yeah.
231
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,565
So long, honky.
232
00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:28,372
What did you mean when you said
you didn't like my perm?
233
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:30,708
Well, I do like your perm, Mind.
It's just too much.
234
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,647
It's wonderful. It's the heat of battle.
235
00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:38,782
Mind, come on,
I never said I hated your hair.
236
00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:41,949
I just liked it when it was,
well, attractive.
237
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:44,118
Oh, great, so now I'm not attractive?
238
00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:47,595
I never said that. Did I, son?
The other day, didn't I casually remark
239
00:17:47,766 --> 00:17:49,097
how attractive your mother was?
240
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:55,297
No, I believe you said that she looks
like Marty Allen in a wind tunnel.
241
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:58,102
Son, I worship Marty Allen.
He's a lovely comic.
242
00:17:58,277 --> 00:17:59,835
You know, "Hello there."
243
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:01,512
- Mork?
- Mind?
244
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,409
I'm not gonna argue about this.
245
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:07,575
I'm too happy to be alive
to be as mad as I should be.
246
00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:19,759
Off the record, Mommy,
I'm on your side.
247
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:31,369
Oh, those men!
248
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:54,596
Whoever they are, they're not gonna
be able to follow us over this terrain.
249
00:18:57,536 --> 00:19:00,505
- Mork, we have to talk.
- All right.
250
00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:06,304
- But not in front of M-E-A-R-T-H.
- Who is Me-arth?
251
00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:09,470
Me, Mearth.
252
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,742
I'm just trying to figure out
how I can get that air mattress back.
253
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:23,355
Mork, nothing is gonna stop
Kalnik's men.
254
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:26,862
They think you're the alien who is
secretly out to take over the world,
255
00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:30,195
and they're just gonna keep hunting
until they find you.
256
00:19:30,369 --> 00:19:33,236
Well, there's only one solution,
I guess.
257
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,066
You and Mearth take the jeep
and go east,
258
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,606
and I'll go west and try
and keep them on my trail.
259
00:19:37,776 --> 00:19:40,677
No, I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna leave you.
260
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,746
Oh, bless you, hon.
261
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:44,772
Oh...
262
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:47,248
Well, let's see.
263
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:51,185
- Well, there's one other solution.
- What?
264
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:53,381
It's very dangerous though.
265
00:19:54,426 --> 00:19:55,723
Mearth?
266
00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:57,691
- Yes?
- Come here.
267
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:04,699
- This has to be a family decision.
- Oh, we're gonna have steak tonight?
268
00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:07,396
Son.
269
00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:09,768
You see,
270
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:12,467
there's only one choice,
but I think it's the only way.
271
00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:15,103
I have to tell the whole world
that I'm an alien.
272
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,111
That way they know
I've got nothing to hide.
273
00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:19,716
Mind, that's the only way.
I've gotta go public.
274
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,378
Mork, for as long as I've known you,
275
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,886
this is the one thing
I've been the most scared of.
276
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,820
You have no idea
how people are gonna act,
277
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:28,983
or how they're gonna treat you.
278
00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:30,456
I don't know.
279
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,625
Mind, come on now.
280
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:36,131
Oh, Mind, I've lived on this planet
for four years,
281
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:38,428
and most of the people
are very good.
282
00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:41,767
I mean, if they can accept Diana Ross
as Dorothy, they can go for me.
283
00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:48,806
We interrupt our regularly
scheduled programming
284
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,972
to bring you this live report
of national interest
285
00:20:51,149 --> 00:20:52,810
from the Federal Building
in Los Angeles.
286
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:56,751
Ladies and gentlemen, the Secretary
General of the United States.
287
00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:59,284
Good afternoon.
288
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:02,916
I have been asked to make
the following announcement.
289
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:07,194
Five days ago, the United States
government became aware
290
00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:12,531
of the existence of an extra-terrestrial
being, living on this planet.
291
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:16,697
Since that time,
his origin has been verified
292
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:21,505
by our nation's leading scientific
and military experts,
293
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,046
who are present today.
294
00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:28,144
He will speak to you now.
295
00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:45,066
- Just like you rehearsed it.
- Oh.
296
00:21:52,411 --> 00:21:53,708
Hello there.
297
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:57,315
I'm Mindy McConnell,
and I'm married to Mork here.
298
00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:00,678
Oh, go Dodgers.
299
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:07,654
Um, Mork came to this planet
four years ago from a place called Ork.
300
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:11,660
Ork is a very nice planet.
It's a lot like Earth, as a matter of fact.
301
00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:15,231
It has gravity and oxygen
and dog races.
302
00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:20,494
And now I want to introduce to you all
303
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:23,436
someone who's proved to me
that life on other planets
304
00:22:23,608 --> 00:22:27,408
is not only peaceful
but compassionate and loving.
305
00:22:27,579 --> 00:22:29,240
Mork.
306
00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:31,205
Uh...
307
00:22:31,950 --> 00:22:33,383
Good evening,
Mr. And Mrs. America,
308
00:22:33,552 --> 00:22:36,077
and all couples
who are just living together.
309
00:22:37,556 --> 00:22:40,423
- Just tell them about yourself.
- Okay, you're right.
310
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:46,725
Yes, I am an alien,
and cold pizza gives me gas.
311
00:22:55,707 --> 00:23:00,144
Um, I know it's gonna be difficult
for many of you to accept me
312
00:23:00,345 --> 00:23:02,939
because I'm different.
313
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:06,050
But, hey,
I really pose no threat to you.
314
00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:09,881
Hey, I'm just like all of you
except I have three hearts and no liver.
315
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:11,955
And who likes liver anyway?
316
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:15,951
Uh, to be very blunt,
317
00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:18,722
I'm throwing myself at your mercy.
318
00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:22,594
See, all we want to do
is live here in peace.
319
00:23:23,568 --> 00:23:26,799
I... This world has given me very,
very wonderful things.
320
00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:29,497
My wife, my son.
321
00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:33,806
And now I think it's time for me
to give you something back.
322
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:37,613
You see, the universe,
it's a very, very big place.
323
00:23:37,783 --> 00:23:41,241
But if you accept me today,
324
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:44,184
I think we take the first step
to make it a little bit smaller.
325
00:23:46,525 --> 00:23:52,464
Uh, it's a great opportunity.
Let's not blow it.
326
00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:58,526
I don't know what else to say,
except na-no.
327
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:12,478
Mork, your days are numbered.
328
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:25,600
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