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1
00:00:02,635 --> 00:00:05,263
Na-no, na-no.
2
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:08,000
Ripped By mstoll
3
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,661
Daddy got his license.
Daddy got his license.
4
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:47,636
Okay, you lost, Grandpops.
Fork over.
5
00:01:49,142 --> 00:01:51,770
Mork driving. Who would believe
it could happen here?
6
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:55,142
I keep thinking,
one stiff wind four years ago
7
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:57,783
and he would've landed in Kentucky.
8
00:01:58,318 --> 00:01:59,376
Come on, Dad.
9
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:02,488
Mork went out, set a goal for himself
and he achieved it.
10
00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:04,646
I think you should be very proud
of him.
11
00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:05,882
Proud?
12
00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:10,018
He just drove out of a gas station
with the attendant still under the hood.
13
00:02:10,196 --> 00:02:12,289
Made me laugh.
14
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,191
Ha, ha!
15
00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:20,838
Oh, ho.
16
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:23,942
Well, I'm free. I've got mobility now.
17
00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:26,772
I have got my license, the key to joie.
18
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:28,504
Oh, ho. Look at this.
19
00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:31,980
Look at that. Oh, I can finally take that
"Just Married" sticker off my bicycle.
20
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,712
It was so hard dragging all those cans
all these days.
21
00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:37,685
Honey, look,
don't think of me as your father.
22
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,051
Think of me as your savior.
23
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:42,058
You can't turn that maniac loose
on the highway.
24
00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:44,355
Will you have a little faith in Mork,
please?
25
00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:47,728
He didn't try to discourage you
when you took up karate.
26
00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:50,726
Oh, bless you,
my little support system.
27
00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:54,429
This would be a red-letter day for me
if I hadn't taken such a lousy picture.
28
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:59,705
Amidst all of this excitement,
I've written a poem.
29
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:05,642
Here it is. Don't you read.
30
00:03:05,818 --> 00:03:08,946
"My Dad" by Mearth McConnell.
31
00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:10,988
Okay.
32
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:15,594
Now that my dad can drive
And change a flat
33
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:19,220
Please don't run over my new cat
34
00:03:19,999 --> 00:03:22,058
Bless you, son, bless you.
35
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:24,601
That was wonderful.
I loved your imagery and your meter.
36
00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:27,205
You know, it's kind of reminiscent
of Ubie or Robert Blake.
37
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:32,268
Oh, hello.
38
00:03:32,478 --> 00:03:34,969
Hi, uh, I'm Bob Miller,
your neighbor from across the street.
39
00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:37,844
- Oh, hi.
- I seem to have gotten your mail.
40
00:03:38,017 --> 00:03:40,042
- You're Mindy McConnell, aren't you?
- Oh, yeah.
41
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:43,621
- Oh, and this is my husband, Mork.
- Oh, howdy. Hi, Bob. Ha-ha-ha.
42
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:47,385
I've seen you. When are you gonna
take down those Christmas lights?
43
00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:51,495
- Wait a minute. This is a subpoena.
- That's right.
44
00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:54,031
Hey, isn't that great?
Bob, what a kinda guy you are.
45
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,690
Come over tomorrow,
we'll wear shorts,
46
00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:57,563
stand by a fire
and have a weenie roast.
47
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:02,764
Wait a minute. Mork.
48
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,705
You just walked in here and lied to me.
You're a process server. You just...
49
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,574
- You said you were our neighbor.
- I am.
50
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,579
I do live right across the street.
51
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,241
- By the way, can I borrow your rake?
- No.
52
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:15,819
Sorry you have to be going,
neighbor.
53
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,747
Mind, come on.
You can't treat people like that.
54
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,951
I mean, if you do that, they'll be
walking their dogs on our lawn.
55
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:24,722
- What's this all about, honey?
- I don't know.
56
00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:28,024
Oh. Ugh.
57
00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:30,032
They want me to testify
on that story I broke
58
00:04:30,169 --> 00:04:32,535
on the Hidden Springs Highway
scandal.
59
00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:33,798
You remember that one, Dad.
60
00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:37,306
It was where the road crew told me the
contractor was skimping on the codes
61
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:40,071
and paying the state inspectors
to look the other way.
62
00:04:40,246 --> 00:04:43,181
I suppose they want you to tell them
who supplied the information.
63
00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:44,646
Mm-hm.
64
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:48,150
Mommy, I hope you're not going to
release the name of the informant.
65
00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:49,948
You should stand
on the first amendment,
66
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,819
on your rights as a journalist.
67
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,657
Too strong?
68
00:04:58,364 --> 00:05:01,128
It's okay when Lou Grant says it.
69
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,333
I can identify with him.
70
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:05,937
We've got matching bodies.
71
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:10,665
I just can't believe that they would ask
me to betray a confidence like that.
72
00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:13,937
If it wasn't for me, they wouldn't
have the story in the first place.
73
00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:15,671
Look, honey,
I respect your principles,
74
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:19,011
but haven't journalists gone to jail
for standing on the first amendment?
75
00:05:19,185 --> 00:05:23,679
Oh, Dad, this is just a little construction
scandal, not the Pentagon Papers.
76
00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:26,984
No, they're not gonna
do anything to me.
77
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,824
This is News Line
and I'm Larry Carroll.
78
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,660
Today, KTNS reporter
Mindy McConnell
79
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,233
was cited for contempt of court
80
00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:38,393
and jailed for refusing
to reveal her news source
81
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:40,504
in the Hidden Springs bribery trial.
82
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:43,369
In other news, finalists prep
for the Miss Nude Colorado contest.
83
00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:44,635
Film at 10.
84
00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:52,540
All right, come on, sister, move it.
85
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,687
You know,
I've never been in jail before.
86
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,687
Yeah, life's tough.
I've never been to France.
87
00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:04,627
Excuse me,
but there's somebody else in there.
88
00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:06,527
Maybe I could have a single cell.
89
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:10,157
Toots, this is jail, not the Love Boat.
Get in.
90
00:06:11,504 --> 00:06:13,438
Wait a minute. Wait.
One last question.
91
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:15,539
Um, are my things
gonna be all right?
92
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,437
I mean,
that's a very expensive sweater.
93
00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:18,837
Don't put that on a hanger.
94
00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:23,038
Oh, don't worry about it, honey.
I'll only wear it weekends.
95
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:26,276
- Hello.
- Hi.
96
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:29,387
Oh, you poor, dear child.
97
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,682
I know just how you feel.
98
00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:36,261
Now you come right here
and you sit down.
99
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:39,227
- Would you care for a Snickers?
- Oh.
100
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,697
No, thank you.
101
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,165
Suit yourself.
102
00:06:43,302 --> 00:06:46,237
I was just trying to be friendly.
103
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,170
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
104
00:06:49,308 --> 00:06:52,744
It's just I've never done time before.
105
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:55,676
I've never even been grounded.
106
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:58,082
Oh, I'm Mindy McConnell.
107
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,685
- And I'm Louise Bailey.
- Hi.
108
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,687
- My, but you are a cutie.
- Oh.
109
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:07,782
What in the world
are you doing in a hell hole like this?
110
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,621
I don't know.
111
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,788
I didn't think
things were gonna work out like this.
112
00:07:12,965 --> 00:07:16,298
But my lawyer called and she said
I should be out in a few hours.
113
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:18,835
- It's funny the way things happen.
- Yeah.
114
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:22,497
I'm in here because of
a silly old parking meter.
115
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:24,266
You're kidding.
116
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,242
No, I went into a hardware store,
and when I came out,
117
00:07:27,413 --> 00:07:30,007
there was a policeman
writing me a ticket.
118
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:33,447
I don't believe it. They threw you in jail
for a parking ticket?
119
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:36,315
Well, in a roundabout way.
120
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:42,086
You see, when I put the shovel
in the trunk, Walter's arm fell out.
121
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,430
Who's Walter?
122
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,464
My husband.
123
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,868
Well, what was he doing
in the trunk?
124
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:54,472
Not much.
125
00:07:56,108 --> 00:07:58,770
He was dead.
126
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:04,946
I warned him about his snoring for
years, but he just wouldn't believe me.
127
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:11,181
So last night I took a pair
of my very best panty hose
128
00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:15,020
and I wrapped them around his neck
real tight.
129
00:08:15,194 --> 00:08:19,858
You know, it was the first good night's
sleep I've had in 31 years.
130
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:27,199
Well, you look well rested.
131
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:32,300
- You don't snore, do you, dear?
- No.
132
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,173
No. No.
133
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,347
- Oh. Oh.
- Oh.
134
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,850
Oh, my poor prison pooter.
My little San Quentin quail.
135
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,885
How are you?
136
00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:46,388
Oh. Oh, Mind, I mean,
oh, the anguish, the degradation.
137
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,925
But cute little dress though.
138
00:08:49,095 --> 00:08:53,589
Mork, I feel so humiliated, even though
I know what I'm doing is right.
139
00:08:53,799 --> 00:08:54,857
They took everything.
140
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,935
They took my clothes,
and they took my wedding band.
141
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,538
And then they fingerprinted me
and took mug shots and...
142
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,503
Oh, Mind...
143
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:06,441
Mork, that woman told me
that she murdered her husband.
144
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:08,102
Oh, Mind, murdered her husband.
145
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:10,339
Come on,
she looks like Mrs. Cleaver.
146
00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:12,006
Hi.
147
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,084
Oh, Mork, how did Mearth take it?
148
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:20,418
Did you tell him?
149
00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:21,855
He cried a lot.
150
00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:24,258
He kept saying, "Mama's in the can,
Mama's in the can."
151
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,057
- Oh.
- Oh, it's all right, though.
152
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:29,429
Then he packed all your stuff in boxes
and he moved in the bedroom with me.
153
00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:33,368
Well, you can tell him to unpack.
I'm gonna be out in a few hours.
154
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:35,871
I got things to tide you over
in case you're here longer.
155
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,976
Here's some cigarettes
to bribe the screws.
156
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,977
And, uh, here's some facial cream
for an older woman.
157
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,945
And, uh, here's a harmonica.
158
00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:48,044
Visiting hours are over.
159
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:51,212
- Let's go, Shorty.
- You got it, Butch.
160
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,885
- I miss you already.
- I miss you too, Mind.
161
00:09:57,063 --> 00:10:00,362
Oh, and, lady, don't you worry,
she makes a real good roommate.
162
00:10:00,499 --> 00:10:02,933
Don't let her snore
and keep you awake at night.
163
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:11,771
Um, heh, heh, that was a joke.
164
00:10:13,479 --> 00:10:14,969
He was kidding. I don't snore.
165
00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:18,514
As a matter of fact,
I don't even sleep.
166
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:21,585
Guard!
167
00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:35,930
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,
it's such a long step.
168
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:38,263
Oh, son, son, what's wrong?
169
00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:41,031
- Oh, come, what's the matter now?
- What's the matter?
170
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,402
- Can't you see?
- Oh, look, well, sit down.
171
00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:44,804
- Sit down.
- Oh, the life...
172
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:48,105
- Let's look at the boo-boo. Sit down.
- No boo-boo.
173
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,510
Doggie bit me,
and then there was a kitty bit me,
174
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:52,150
and then there was a gray squirrel,
175
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:56,311
then Tommy Leonard
hit me with a bat. Ow.
176
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,218
What did you do
to make these people angry?
177
00:10:58,424 --> 00:11:00,289
Just this.
178
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:04,424
Oh, son, well,
let me look at your boo-boo. Oh!
179
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,724
- Don't touch it.
- Oh, blood.
180
00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:09,364
- Hey, hey, hey...
- I'll be back. Wait now.
181
00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:11,503
You've got to set an example for me.
182
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,831
Daddy, Daddy...
183
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,479
Here we go. Don't you worry.
Let's put a little of this on.
184
00:11:21,647 --> 00:11:24,878
Wait a minute. Ow! Aah!
185
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:26,313
Come on, if a dog bit you...
186
00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:29,716
Come on. It's my sore.
Let me do the "ows."
187
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:32,084
Ow.
188
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:35,250
Okay, if a dog bit you,
we've gotta get a rabies shot for you.
189
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:38,859
I was kidding about that.
190
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,226
Doggie didn't bite me
and a kitty didn't bite me.
191
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,062
But Bobby Leonard
hit me with a bat.
192
00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:46,568
Mommy never puts these on.
193
00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:48,468
- She always puts...
- Well, listen, kid.
194
00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:52,065
Your mommy's in the slammer busting
rocks and breaking out license plates.
195
00:11:52,244 --> 00:11:54,872
So I'm the best you got.
You better deal with me.
196
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:57,106
Oh, what am I talking about?
I miss Mommy too.
197
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,579
Boy, you need some sedation.
198
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:05,919
Oh. Oh, son, son, I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
199
00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:08,754
Can't you even think of helping me?
200
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,261
Boy, it's getting stiff.
201
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:13,898
Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Gangrene, gangrene.
202
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:17,695
That's it.
I'm not going to go very far.
203
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,894
Here we go. Come on, son.
204
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:23,500
There we go.
205
00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:25,234
- You up now?
- Yeah. This is a biggie.
206
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:31,448
- Are you feeling better now?
- Yes, I am.
207
00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:36,044
Oh, my gosh. That's the doggie.
Maybe it's Bobby Leonard.
208
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:38,651
Mork...
209
00:12:42,027 --> 00:12:43,892
I'm afraid I've got some bad news.
210
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:46,327
Don't tell me something's
happened to Gene Rayburn.
211
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:50,058
- No, Mork.
- Oh, thank God.
212
00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:53,137
You see, the judge has denied
Mindy's petition for release.
213
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,773
She could be locked up
for quite a while.
214
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,533
Oh, this is awful.
215
00:12:57,676 --> 00:12:59,439
Mommy's not coming home
for a while.
216
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,773
Oh, no, Mearth and I
are gonna be plagued by relatives
217
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:05,610
bringing over strange casseroles
like tomato delight.
218
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:09,346
Gee, I'm like Daddy.
I'm real sorry about that,
219
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:12,115
but take some extra green,
looks like you lose again.
220
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:37,775
It's amazing. Nine days
and she hasn't improved at all.
221
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:40,510
- Oh, Mork.
- Oh, honey.
222
00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:43,382
Oh, Mork, I don't think
I can stand it another day.
223
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,318
Oh, darling,
I think I have a plan, though,
224
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,959
so you can say good-bye to the bars,
the community showers
225
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:50,186
- and the mystery meat.
- Oh, what?
226
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:52,956
Well, just tell them the name
of your informant.
227
00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:55,396
No. I'm not gonna do that.
228
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:57,398
You tell me
and I'll spill your guts for you.
229
00:13:57,603 --> 00:14:01,300
Mork, you know how I feel
about freedom of the press.
230
00:14:01,473 --> 00:14:03,964
This is a basic
constitutional question.
231
00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:06,475
You mean like how Strom Thurmond
keeps having children?
232
00:14:06,645 --> 00:14:07,703
What?
233
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,404
Oh, Mork...
234
00:14:09,615 --> 00:14:11,378
All right, get in here.
235
00:14:11,550 --> 00:14:13,313
Easy, sister,
or I'm gonna have to show you
236
00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:16,181
a few tricks I learned
in the roller derby.
237
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:25,854
Oh.
238
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:29,367
Oh, Mind, come on now.
You gotta come home.
239
00:14:30,436 --> 00:14:33,633
I can't bear you sleeping on anything
that doesn't have a dust ruffle.
240
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:37,567
Believe me, I wanna come home.
241
00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:40,041
Oh, Mork, it's not easy for me here.
242
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:44,672
When I go out in the exercise yard, the
prisoners giggle when I shoot baskets.
243
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:46,715
I have to cut my meat with a spoon
244
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:50,447
and, frankly,
the screws here aren't very nice.
245
00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:52,385
Move it, sister, you're on my bunk.
246
00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:57,586
Do you believe I said that to her?
247
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:03,592
That woman would kill me
for my lunch.
248
00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:06,567
Oh, are they that good here?
249
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,307
Oh, Mind, I'm not just gonna sit down
and let you rot in here.
250
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,274
Now come on,
I'm gonna try and do something.
251
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:15,470
Oh, Mork, what can you do?
It's so complicated.
252
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:17,376
You wouldn't know where to start.
253
00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:19,414
Oh, that doesn't matter, Mind.
254
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,745
I'm gonna go to the capitol,
255
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,820
start knocking on doors
until someone listens.
256
00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,785
I'm gonna work through the system.
I am.
257
00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:30,624
I've gone through enough
red tape to gift wrap the Kremlin.
258
00:15:30,796 --> 00:15:33,060
- How can I help you?
- Well, you see,
259
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:36,326
my wife is a journalist and, well,
she refused to give her sources
260
00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:39,300
so the judge found her in contempt.
She's been in the stir nine days
261
00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:41,837
and they haven't even
taught her a trade.
262
00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:45,236
That's an outrage.
Would you like some coffee?
263
00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:47,436
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm not alone in this, though.
264
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:53,313
I have a petition here signed by all 17
members of Miss LePons' tap class.
265
00:15:53,485 --> 00:15:55,953
I'd like to thank you
for taking the time and the trouble
266
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,612
to bring this problem to my attention.
267
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,522
Before you go, I would like to present
you with one of my souvenir pens.
268
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:05,128
If I wanted a pen and coffee,
I would've mugged a waitress.
269
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:06,764
I don't need any more pens.
270
00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:09,162
Look at this. I've got pens
coming out the klarn here.
271
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,269
Look at this.
272
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:14,736
Look at that. Look at this one. A
Ronald Reagan pen. It's got no point.
273
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:22,370
Come on now.
Come on, you're an elected official.
274
00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:23,981
I mean, you've gotta help people.
275
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:27,050
Do more than open up super markets
and have mediocre-looking daughters.
276
00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:28,879
There's gotta be something
you can do.
277
00:16:29,054 --> 00:16:33,957
Well, okay, the only viable solution
that I can think of is a shield law.
278
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,990
Oh. Is that the law
where it forces a woman
279
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,561
to wear pads to protect
her delicate dress?
280
00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:41,699
No, it protects a journalist
from having to disclose their sources.
281
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:46,566
Uh, twenty-six states have some sort
of shield law, but Colorado doesn't.
282
00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:49,639
However, they don't have
our mile-high taffy.
283
00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:52,368
Well, how about this
for a campaign for you, huh?
284
00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:54,136
I mean, how about this?
285
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:56,076
"Free the shiksa one."
286
00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:57,373
- That'll work.
- Yeah.
287
00:16:57,549 --> 00:17:01,315
And who knows? In no time, Mindy'll
be home changing the vacuum bag.
288
00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:03,045
Okay, listen, I know what I can do.
289
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,656
Of course, this is gonna take time.
This isn't Fotomat.
290
00:17:05,824 --> 00:17:09,692
I'll have to draft a bill, and then, uh,
push it through the right channels.
291
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:11,489
- Right. Right.
- Well, you know what?
292
00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:13,654
- I won't take my Christmas vacation.
- Bless you.
293
00:17:13,832 --> 00:17:15,493
- I'll ram this through...
- Ram it home.
294
00:17:15,667 --> 00:17:16,827
Yes, sir. And you know what?
295
00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:20,438
She'll probably be out
in about two or three years.
296
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,039
Two or three years?
297
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:25,438
By that time Brooke Shields' eyebrows
would have met.
298
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:32,206
Hey, listen, that's not so...
That's not so bad.
299
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:37,014
You know, it took me two full terms
just to get this swivel chair?
300
00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:39,180
Then you can't
get my wife out of jail?
301
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:42,725
No. But my father could've.
302
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,886
I'm sorry. It's not that I don't care.
303
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,828
It's just that, well,
I don't wanna make waves.
304
00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:50,196
Oh. You don't wanna make waves?
305
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:54,567
Well, you politicians...
You politicians are all alike.
306
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:55,900
I should have known better.
307
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,408
I mean, from the same system
that gave us Spiro Agnew.
308
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:15,989
Happy birthday to you
309
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,423
Hey.
310
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,257
It's not my birthday.
What are you doing?
311
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,365
Oh, will you listen to her?
She's so shy.
312
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,663
She lies about her age
and her SAT score.
313
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:27,438
You know,
you've got a funny little man here.
314
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:30,507
A cake in the shape of a saw.
Ha-ha-ha!
315
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:36,570
Play along with her. We're making
our own laws here, just like in Haiti.
316
00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:40,980
Mork, whatever you're up to,
please don't.
317
00:18:41,153 --> 00:18:43,144
Oh, she's gonna perk up so much
318
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:45,119
when we make
those little balloon animals.
319
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,258
Oh, good.
You know, we haven't had a party here
320
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:50,884
since the police chief
had his heart attack.
321
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:52,394
Party! Whoo!
322
00:18:52,531 --> 00:18:54,829
Party! Whoo!
323
00:18:55,634 --> 00:19:02,403
Well, Mind... Well, I saw this cake.
It's the best one I'd seen bar none.
324
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:05,601
Hope it doesn't make you break out.
Heh, heh.
325
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:10,506
Break out. Heh, heh.
326
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:14,277
Well, make a wish, hon.
327
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:17,286
I did, but you're probably
going through with this anyway.
328
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:19,014
A couple of weeks
without her Waterpik
329
00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:21,421
and she still hasn't lost her spirit.
330
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,687
- Well, time to cut the cake.
- Yeah.
331
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:27,127
Oh, but there's an old tradition that
the birthday girl gets to cut the cake.
332
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,290
Well, we have a little tradition
here too.
333
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:32,335
Prisoners with knives
get shot on sight.
334
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:35,962
- I want my piece of cake now.
- Oh, yeah.
335
00:19:50,589 --> 00:19:52,386
What kind of filling is that?
336
00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:54,958
I asked for rum raisin.
337
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:57,025
Oh, how'd that...?
338
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,493
Oh, the nerve. Oh, boy.
339
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:02,566
I'm gonna call my consumer advocate
about this. Whoa.
340
00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:05,567
Watch out for this one.
Oh, that really...
341
00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:07,170
Oh, what a bummer. Watch out for...
342
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,705
Hey, wait a second.
343
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,103
Did you really marry that guy
344
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,267
or are you just breaking him in
for somebody else?
345
00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:15,469
Come back here.
346
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,122
Psst.
347
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:30,785
It's me.
348
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:32,725
Hop on the Midnight Express.
Come on.
349
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:35,196
I want you to stop this right now.
350
00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:37,892
Oh, Mind, come on now. I need you.
Mearth needs you.
351
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,631
And, besides, we've got tickets to see
Sophisticated Ladies. Now come on.
352
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,866
- No.
- Oh, Mind, listen.
353
00:20:44,042 --> 00:20:46,806
I mean, it's clam night
at Howard Johnson's.
354
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,879
Mind, come on now, please.
355
00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:51,072
- Well, stand back. Stand back.
- No.
356
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,047
- No, Mind, come on, stand back.
- Stop it.
357
00:20:53,218 --> 00:20:55,652
- Mork, put that finger down.
- Mind...
358
00:21:09,901 --> 00:21:11,061
Come on, Mind. Come on.
359
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:14,034
My car's outside, engine's running.
You don't wanna miss clam night.
360
00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:15,469
Come on, let's go.
361
00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:18,735
Mork, it's against the law
to break people out of jail.
362
00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:21,538
Well, so is dancing with sheep,
but people still do it.
363
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:28,052
Mork, oh, I wanna go with you,
but I can't.
364
00:21:28,186 --> 00:21:30,654
Oh, Mork, don't you see, this is...
365
00:21:32,057 --> 00:21:36,756
This is my one chance to prove that
my beliefs are more than just words.
366
00:21:36,928 --> 00:21:39,590
My mind's made up. I'm not going
anywhere. I'm staying here.
367
00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:42,996
Are you the same woman that broke
the Pritikin Diet after only three hours?
368
00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:46,770
Yes. But that's different, Mork.
369
00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:49,964
Sometimes you have
to make sacrifices for your principles.
370
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,440
Oh, come on,
you see that, don't you?
371
00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:58,379
Oh, no. Come on, Mind. Oh, no.
372
00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:00,707
All right, freeze, shrimp.
373
00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:04,151
You boys play handball
someplace else.
374
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:07,625
- Oh, no. No, that's not gonna work.
- No, no.
375
00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:09,226
- You're under arrest.
- Oh, please.
376
00:22:09,394 --> 00:22:10,986
No, no, wait, wait. This is a mistake.
377
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:14,963
This is a misunderstanding. Come on,
where's your sense of humor?
378
00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:18,534
Well, Mind, look at the good side.
I'm here, you're here,
379
00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:21,832
and if they get Mearth on a juvenile
rap, we'll be a happy family again.
380
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:24,168
You know, you could've
saved yourself the trouble.
381
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:26,208
Pollyanna here's been released.
382
00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:28,744
- Your source finally spilled the beans.
- Ah.
383
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:32,179
You're kidding. I'm free.
Oh, God, I can't wait to get out of here.
384
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,683
Oh, but, Mind, you ex-cons
are so insensitive.
385
00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:36,252
Mind, what about me?
386
00:22:36,421 --> 00:22:38,412
- Well...
- Come on, toots, let's move it.
387
00:22:38,623 --> 00:22:41,421
Um... Mork...
388
00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:43,226
Oh, Mind, you can't leave me here.
389
00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:46,057
You know what happens
to a pretty face in jail.
390
00:22:46,231 --> 00:22:48,665
I'm gonna go straight home
and call the lawyer, all right?
391
00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:52,065
- All right.
- Okay, I'll call... You might need this.
392
00:22:52,237 --> 00:22:56,367
- Oh, all right.
- And don't eat the macaroni. It's bad.
393
00:23:21,967 --> 00:23:24,527
Wait a minute.
What am I feeling sorry about?
394
00:23:24,703 --> 00:23:27,672
There's no jail in this town
that could hold me on clam night.
395
00:23:32,778 --> 00:23:34,973
A souvenir.
396
00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:43,486
Born free
397
00:23:49,127 --> 00:23:53,996
All those years in the roller derby...
I knew I should have worn a helmet.
398
00:24:03,642 --> 00:24:06,270
This is News Line
and I'm Mindy McConnell.
399
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:10,313
Heavy rains today bring flash flood
warnings to Colgate County.
400
00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:14,077
Today, Denver Gazette reporter
Judd Smith was cited for contempt
401
00:24:14,252 --> 00:24:16,720
and jailed for refusing to reveal
his news sources
402
00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:18,914
in the Arvada kickback trial.
403
00:24:19,090 --> 00:24:22,150
In a related story, a bill to provide
a shield law for journalists
404
00:24:22,327 --> 00:24:23,851
died in committee.
405
00:24:24,029 --> 00:24:25,360
And the manhunt continues
406
00:24:25,530 --> 00:24:28,021
for escaped pantyhose strangler,
Louise Bailey.
407
00:24:28,233 --> 00:24:30,326
Details at 10.
408
00:24:34,300 --> 00:24:42,300
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