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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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♪♪
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Yeah, this is broken.
4
00:00:20,874 --> 00:00:22,942
Wow, what's all this?
5
00:00:22,943 --> 00:00:25,778
This, my darling, is paradise.
6
00:00:25,779 --> 00:00:27,746
Our first breakfast in Tahiti.
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No kid, no rush, just you and me
8
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and this champagne, ultimately,
9
00:00:32,892 --> 00:00:35,453
and... and... and the bagels
that you went out to get
10
00:00:35,454 --> 00:00:37,713
- and seem to not have.
- Oh, right, yes.
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You went out... you
went out to get bagels
12
00:00:39,224 --> 00:00:40,348
and forgot to get bagels?
13
00:00:40,349 --> 00:00:41,669
I didn't forget. They were out.
14
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The whole city?
15
00:00:45,965 --> 00:00:47,699
I know. Do you know what happened?
16
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I don't.
17
00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,183
What... what are you looking for now?
18
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:51,708
I think we have some frozen ones.
19
00:00:51,709 --> 00:00:53,401
Sweetie, sweetie,
we've talked about this.
20
00:00:53,402 --> 00:00:55,460
If you talk into the
freezer nobody can hear you,
21
00:00:55,461 --> 00:00:57,166
so you got to face me. Face me.
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I said I think we've got
some frozen bagels in there.
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See, now, that I can hear.
24
00:01:00,917 --> 00:01:02,095
What happened to all the bagels?
25
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:03,280
We had all those bagels yesterday.
26
00:01:03,281 --> 00:01:05,956
- Lisa.
- Oh... oh, great.
27
00:01:05,957 --> 00:01:07,894
How good do you think
these bagels are gonna be
28
00:01:07,895 --> 00:01:09,786
if they're behind our wedding cake?
29
00:01:09,787 --> 00:01:13,547
- And what is this?
- Breast milk.
30
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- Whose?
- Go with your first guess.
31
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Wh... why do we still have it?
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You never know.
33
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- I think I do know.
- Ha.
34
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- Found them.
- [BAGELS THUD]
35
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Oh, and they sound delicious, too.
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- Yeah.
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
37
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- Get toasting, my friend.
- The...
38
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I mean, I don't even
know if we can cut these.
39
00:01:30,922 --> 00:01:32,849
- They're so full of...
- Sweetie, if you want me to hear it,
40
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we got to be in the same
room, and you got to face me.
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00:01:36,283 --> 00:01:37,707
Hey.
42
00:01:37,708 --> 00:01:39,499
I had a very interesting call
43
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I thought I should discuss with you.
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- From who?
- Hey, Tonya.
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- Hey.
- Care for a bagel?
46
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- Sure.
- Give me two to three weeks.
47
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- A call from who?
- Your daughter.
48
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Is everything okay? What happened?
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- Why isn't...
- She's fine.
50
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:55,031
Mabel has asked me to act as
her official emotional buffer
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00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,699
after you apparently dropped by
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00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,429
her dorm this morning unannounced.
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What?
54
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:02,180
- You went to her dorm this morning?
- No.
55
00:02:02,181 --> 00:02:04,307
Okay, that's why you
didn't get the bagels.
56
00:02:04,308 --> 00:02:05,399
Okay, that... you know what?
57
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,768
That makes so much more
sense than the city was out.
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Mabel maintains that
you not only dropped by,
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00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:12,992
but you made quite a scene.
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I don't know what you're talking about.
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It was hardly a scene.
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I dropped off a little
care package for her.
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I didn't even go in!
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I barely went in!
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Uh-huh.
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00:02:25,361 --> 00:02:26,788
So here's what's gonna happen.
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00:02:26,789 --> 00:02:29,531
You are gonna back off and give
your daughter a little space.
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She has all the space in the world.
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She's five blocks away.
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I have been instructed to write up
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00:02:34,982 --> 00:02:37,807
a legally binding contract
between you and your daughter.
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- A contract?
- Which states as follows,
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"Mother and child shall have no
contact for the next 48 hours,
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00:02:43,657 --> 00:02:46,116
including but not
limited to personal visits,
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00:02:46,117 --> 00:02:48,142
phone calls, texts, emails, Instagrams,
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00:02:48,143 --> 00:02:50,011
Instagram direct messages, Facebook,
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00:02:50,012 --> 00:02:51,852
Facebook messages, Snapchat,
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00:02:51,853 --> 00:02:53,319
TikTok, Periscope,
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and any new media created
between now and Wednesday".
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That's a big list.
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What about him? He's
allowed to talk to her?
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00:03:01,796 --> 00:03:03,998
He wasn't named as an offending party.
83
00:03:03,999 --> 00:03:07,000
So I just need you to
sign here and initial here,
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00:03:07,001 --> 00:03:08,001
here, and here.
85
00:03:08,002 --> 00:03:09,537
Seriously?
86
00:03:09,538 --> 00:03:11,272
Seriously.
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00:03:11,273 --> 00:03:13,896
Fine, I'll sign your stupid thing.
88
00:03:13,897 --> 00:03:15,642
And it seems an
appropriate at the moment
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00:03:15,643 --> 00:03:18,669
to remind you that my support
group meets tonight at 6:00.
90
00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:21,248
Yeah, still, no, same as the
last time you mentioned it.
91
00:03:21,249 --> 00:03:22,637
What, uh... what group is this?
92
00:03:22,638 --> 00:03:25,036
I run a support group for empty nesters.
93
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Lots of parents struggle when
their kids go off to school.
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00:03:27,622 --> 00:03:29,743
Struggling is perfectly acceptable.
95
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It's the breaking and
entering that's frowned upon.
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00:03:32,070 --> 00:03:33,446
I don't know.
97
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,454
It sounds like that could be
helpful. Don't you think?
98
00:03:35,455 --> 00:03:37,794
No, I don't think, because I'm fine.
99
00:03:37,795 --> 00:03:39,789
I understand boundaries.
100
00:03:40,902 --> 00:03:42,602
Besides, I can't do it tonight anyway.
101
00:03:42,603 --> 00:03:44,138
I've got to drop off a sweater
102
00:03:44,139 --> 00:03:45,730
and a new smoke alarm for Mabel's room.
103
00:03:45,731 --> 00:03:47,291
I don't trust the ones they have there.
104
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Fine, 6:00. Don't worry about it.
105
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[EASYGOING MUSIC]
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♪♪
107
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♪ Tell me why ♪
108
00:04:01,822 --> 00:04:03,757
♪ I love you like I do ♪
109
00:04:03,758 --> 00:04:05,577
♪ Tell me who ♪
110
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:08,060
♪ Can stop my heart as much as you ♪
111
00:04:08,061 --> 00:04:10,096
♪ If we take each other's hands ♪
112
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♪ We can fly into the final frontier ♪
113
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- ♪ I'm mad about you, baby ♪
- ♪ Final frontier ♪
114
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- ♪ I'm mad about you, baby ♪
- ♪ Final frontier ♪
115
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
116
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♪ Final frontier ♪
117
00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:30,859
What do I love about the ultra-discreet
118
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Flo-Now 1000 men's pocket catheter?
119
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,653
It's always here when I need to go.
120
00:04:36,666 --> 00:04:38,900
You like that one better?
121
00:04:38,901 --> 00:04:40,902
It's hard to say.
122
00:04:40,903 --> 00:04:42,771
For some reason, it's... it's not...
123
00:04:42,772 --> 00:04:44,606
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
- I don't know.
124
00:04:44,607 --> 00:04:47,108
The way he's saying
it doesn't sound fun.
125
00:04:48,911 --> 00:04:50,679
Okay, well, in all fairness...
126
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,147
and no disrespect, you know,
127
00:04:52,148 --> 00:04:54,149
to your firm or the catheter industry,
128
00:04:54,150 --> 00:04:57,079
but he's talking about
shoving a plastic tube
129
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:58,586
up his shmelzin, you know?
130
00:04:58,587 --> 00:05:01,756
So it's kind of hard
to sell the fun there.
131
00:05:01,757 --> 00:05:03,791
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
- Yeah. I don't know.
132
00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:06,694
You guys work on that.
I'm gonna take a leak.
133
00:05:06,695 --> 00:05:08,989
With the Flo-Now 1000 pocket catheter,
134
00:05:08,990 --> 00:05:10,532
you wouldn't even have to walk away.
135
00:05:10,533 --> 00:05:12,367
You could just piss
yourself right in the chair.
136
00:05:12,368 --> 00:05:13,459
Okay.
137
00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:14,969
Hey, this might be the greatest
138
00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,471
catheter commercial ever made.
139
00:05:16,472 --> 00:05:19,674
That's very kind of you to say, Yasmeen.
140
00:05:19,675 --> 00:05:22,510
Do you know, when I was your age,
141
00:05:22,511 --> 00:05:24,679
I was number five on the list
142
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,990
of "Top 20 Young Film
Makers to Keep an Eye On".
143
00:05:27,991 --> 00:05:29,450
[CHUCKLES]
144
00:05:29,451 --> 00:05:31,615
And look at me now.
145
00:05:31,616 --> 00:05:33,655
"I'm wearing a cardboard belt".
146
00:05:36,291 --> 00:05:39,226
From the movie, "The Producers".
147
00:05:39,227 --> 00:05:41,328
You've never seen "The Producers"?
148
00:05:41,329 --> 00:05:42,862
Is there a catheter in it?
149
00:05:42,863 --> 00:05:44,864
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
150
00:05:44,865 --> 00:05:46,567
Man, you're very popular today.
151
00:05:46,568 --> 00:05:48,635
I am. It's my daughter.
152
00:05:48,636 --> 00:05:50,404
Usually she texts my wife all day,
153
00:05:50,405 --> 00:05:51,805
but they're not talking to each other.
154
00:05:51,806 --> 00:05:53,240
In fact, my wife had to sign a whole...
155
00:05:53,241 --> 00:05:55,309
You don't care. It's nice.
156
00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,244
It's kind of nice,
actually, to be needed and...
157
00:05:57,245 --> 00:05:58,978
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
- Oh, boy.
158
00:05:58,979 --> 00:06:00,581
These are all emojis.
159
00:06:00,582 --> 00:06:02,148
What is... what is that? A spider?
160
00:06:02,149 --> 00:06:03,780
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
- Okay, words.
161
00:06:03,781 --> 00:06:06,809
"So gross. My roommate
won't stop leaving her"...
162
00:06:06,810 --> 00:06:09,192
- Okay, you do it.
- You can't say "vibrator"?
163
00:06:09,193 --> 00:06:10,647
Yeah, I'd rather not.
164
00:06:10,648 --> 00:06:12,034
"My roommate won't stop leaving her"...
165
00:06:12,035 --> 00:06:13,188
- "Vibrator"...
- "Around.
166
00:06:13,189 --> 00:06:15,158
What should I do? It's skeeving me out".
167
00:06:15,159 --> 00:06:16,429
Okay.
168
00:06:16,430 --> 00:06:18,096
She asks a very good question.
169
00:06:19,399 --> 00:06:20,894
"Maybe ask Mom".
170
00:06:20,895 --> 00:06:23,236
Ooh, she's not talking
to her mom, remember?
171
00:06:23,237 --> 00:06:24,937
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
172
00:06:24,938 --> 00:06:26,839
"Not talking to Mom, remember?"
173
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,841
You know what? The two of
you should get together.
174
00:06:28,842 --> 00:06:30,276
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
- God, she's fast.
175
00:06:30,277 --> 00:06:31,910
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
- Give me a second!
176
00:06:31,911 --> 00:06:33,211
She should just talk to her.
177
00:06:35,215 --> 00:06:37,216
"Just talk to her"...
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00:06:37,217 --> 00:06:39,584
uh, I get... all right...
179
00:06:39,585 --> 00:06:44,256
"about respecting shared space".
180
00:06:44,257 --> 00:06:45,357
[CELL PHONE BLOOPS]
181
00:06:45,358 --> 00:06:46,625
Hmm?
182
00:06:46,626 --> 00:06:48,360
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
183
00:06:48,361 --> 00:06:51,196
"Okay". Four heart emojis.
184
00:06:51,197 --> 00:06:53,094
"Love you, Daddy-o", exclamation point,
185
00:06:53,095 --> 00:06:54,233
kissy emoji.
186
00:06:54,234 --> 00:06:57,569
How about that, huh? Come on.
187
00:06:57,570 --> 00:07:00,906
Daddy started out a little
shaky, but look at me now.
188
00:07:00,907 --> 00:07:03,941
You're wearing a cardboard belt!
189
00:07:08,346 --> 00:07:10,715
- Hey.
- Hello.
190
00:07:10,716 --> 00:07:12,082
What are you up to there?
191
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,850
Throwing out pictures of Mabel.
192
00:07:16,354 --> 00:07:18,389
Hmm, throwing out?
193
00:07:18,390 --> 00:07:19,857
Or not really throwing out,
194
00:07:19,858 --> 00:07:23,060
so much as making a
commemorative collage?
195
00:07:23,061 --> 00:07:24,962
Is there a contract
that says I can't look
196
00:07:24,963 --> 00:07:26,163
at pictures of her now?
197
00:07:26,164 --> 00:07:27,832
No, no, that's perfectly fine.
198
00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:29,099
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
199
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,851
- Who's that?
- Nobody.
200
00:07:30,852 --> 00:07:33,463
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
- What, is she texting you all day now?
201
00:07:33,464 --> 00:07:35,339
- No.
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
202
00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:37,442
Here and there, I'll get a text.
203
00:07:37,443 --> 00:07:39,043
What is she texting you about?
204
00:07:39,044 --> 00:07:40,454
- Nothing.
- About me?
205
00:07:40,455 --> 00:07:41,712
No.
206
00:07:41,713 --> 00:07:44,158
- Do you even know what to say to her?
- What?
207
00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:45,727
I bet you don't even
know what to say to her.
208
00:07:45,728 --> 00:07:47,986
Hey, I think I know how
to talk to my own daughter.
209
00:07:47,987 --> 00:07:49,619
Well, don't come crying
to me when the whole thing
210
00:07:49,620 --> 00:07:50,955
turns to hell because
she needs her mother.
211
00:07:50,956 --> 00:07:52,046
I'm not crying. You know what?
212
00:07:52,047 --> 00:07:53,683
Go back to your little hobby
with the glue and the pic...
213
00:07:53,684 --> 00:07:55,592
- Look, Murray, huh?
- Oh, Murray.
214
00:07:55,593 --> 00:07:58,262
- Yeah, Murray was a good dog.
- I miss Murray.
215
00:07:58,263 --> 00:07:59,930
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
- Is that her?
216
00:07:59,931 --> 00:08:01,798
- Uh, nope.
- Liar.
217
00:08:01,799 --> 00:08:04,101
- What if it is?
- Let me see it.
218
00:08:04,102 --> 00:08:05,650
No. Hey, aren't you supposed to be going
219
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,804
to Tonya's maladjusted-parents thing?
220
00:08:07,805 --> 00:08:10,118
I don't need it.
221
00:08:10,119 --> 00:08:11,165
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
- That's her.
222
00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:12,261
- No, it's not.
- I know it is.
223
00:08:12,262 --> 00:08:13,687
- No, you... no, no!
- Just let me look at one text!
224
00:08:13,688 --> 00:08:15,545
I'll never bother you
again your whole life.
225
00:08:15,546 --> 00:08:17,214
Oh, fine.
226
00:08:17,215 --> 00:08:18,915
It's Yasmeen.
227
00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:21,417
"I found a happier take
of the catheter guy".
228
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,651
Yay!
229
00:08:28,493 --> 00:08:30,727
The other day I call my daughter.
230
00:08:30,728 --> 00:08:32,852
Took her six hours to call me back.
231
00:08:32,853 --> 00:08:33,901
[ALL GROANING]
232
00:08:33,902 --> 00:08:35,290
Know what I said to
her when I picked up?
233
00:08:35,291 --> 00:08:37,333
- What?
- Nothing.
234
00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:38,798
Because I didn't pick up.
235
00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:40,090
- Hey.
- Good for you.
236
00:08:40,091 --> 00:08:41,437
Good for you, Todd.
237
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,863
You want to play games, sweetheart?
238
00:08:42,864 --> 00:08:44,057
Well, Daddy can play, too.
239
00:08:44,058 --> 00:08:45,475
- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.
240
00:08:45,476 --> 00:08:48,311
Well, my son's at Duke, but, you know,
241
00:08:48,312 --> 00:08:51,452
I have not hacked into his
web cam to check in on him
242
00:08:51,453 --> 00:08:52,781
for two whole weeks.
243
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:55,584
One day at a time, baby.
244
00:08:55,585 --> 00:08:58,186
So when does the meeting actually start?
245
00:08:58,187 --> 00:09:00,088
Is there, like, a
private room or something?
246
00:09:00,089 --> 00:09:02,000
The meeting's already started, Jamie.
247
00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,458
This is it.
248
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,027
This is just drinking.
249
00:09:05,028 --> 00:09:07,129
The drinking is the meeting.
250
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,044
When it comes to the
pain of empty nest...
251
00:09:09,045 --> 00:09:11,133
ALL: Nothing helps.
252
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,135
You have not touched your drink, Jamie.
253
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:15,126
Oh, I'm good. I'm afraid
I'm a bit of a lightweight.
254
00:09:15,127 --> 00:09:16,402
ALL: Oh.
255
00:09:16,403 --> 00:09:18,971
If you want to be in the group,
you're gonna have to drink.
256
00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:21,276
You don't have to drink, Jamie.
257
00:09:21,277 --> 00:09:23,278
The important thing is
that you're here with people
258
00:09:23,279 --> 00:09:25,227
who know exactly what
you're going through.
259
00:09:25,228 --> 00:09:26,548
You know, honest to God,
260
00:09:26,549 --> 00:09:28,449
this group is the only
thing that's kept me sane
261
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,518
since my Piper left for Villanova.
262
00:09:30,519 --> 00:09:33,214
I think the first week's got
to be tough for everybody.
263
00:09:33,215 --> 00:09:34,556
First week?
264
00:09:34,557 --> 00:09:36,858
Piper just started grad school.
265
00:09:36,859 --> 00:09:39,027
Do you know what? Enough about us.
266
00:09:39,028 --> 00:09:41,640
Jamie, who left your
nest all sad and empty?
267
00:09:41,641 --> 00:09:43,099
Well, I have a daughter, Mabel.
268
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:44,465
She's a freshman,
269
00:09:44,466 --> 00:09:47,667
and, yeah, having her so far away,
270
00:09:47,668 --> 00:09:48,846
it feels like I'm missing a limb.
271
00:09:48,847 --> 00:09:49,944
BOTH: Mm.
272
00:09:49,945 --> 00:09:52,506
Long distance is a killer.
Where does she go?
273
00:09:52,507 --> 00:09:54,676
Hawaii.
274
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,510
University of Haleakala.
275
00:09:56,511 --> 00:09:58,012
- Oh, my God, drink.
- That is so far!
276
00:09:58,013 --> 00:09:59,914
Hawaii?
277
00:09:59,915 --> 00:10:01,515
That's interesting because I thought...
278
00:10:01,516 --> 00:10:04,184
- Hey, cheers, everybody.
- [ALL SPEAKING AT ONCE]
279
00:10:07,155 --> 00:10:09,590
Okay, I'm here.
280
00:10:09,591 --> 00:10:11,092
What was so important?
281
00:10:11,093 --> 00:10:14,361
Voilà. DNA testing kits, Paulie.
282
00:10:14,362 --> 00:10:15,929
One for you, one for me.
283
00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:17,698
Please tell me this is not
284
00:10:17,699 --> 00:10:19,907
'cause of that one stupid food critic.
285
00:10:19,908 --> 00:10:22,022
I'll show him. He has the testicoli...
286
00:10:22,023 --> 00:10:24,605
the nerve to say that I am not Italian.
287
00:10:24,606 --> 00:10:29,543
Yeah, but only 'cause you're not.
288
00:10:29,544 --> 00:10:32,012
What are you talking about?
My whole life I've known.
289
00:10:32,013 --> 00:10:34,447
Even when I was a kid, I-I always felt,
290
00:10:34,448 --> 00:10:36,278
- you know, different.
- Italian.
291
00:10:36,279 --> 00:10:37,584
- Yes.
- Yes.
292
00:10:37,585 --> 00:10:40,453
Yes, I always identified as Italian,
293
00:10:40,454 --> 00:10:43,189
and people look at me as Italian.
294
00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:45,291
I'll never forget the day
I broke it to my parents
295
00:10:45,292 --> 00:10:47,217
- that I was Italian.
- Really?
296
00:10:47,218 --> 00:10:48,964
- How... how did they take it?
- They were surprised.
297
00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:51,264
Yeah, yeah. And you know why?
298
00:10:51,265 --> 00:10:53,233
Because you're not Italian.
299
00:10:53,234 --> 00:10:55,068
Okay, okay, smart guy.
300
00:10:55,069 --> 00:10:56,777
How do you... how do
you explain two years ago
301
00:10:56,778 --> 00:10:58,012
when I went to Italy?
302
00:10:58,013 --> 00:10:59,747
The second I got off the plane,
303
00:10:59,748 --> 00:11:01,649
the first breath of air, I knew.
304
00:11:01,650 --> 00:11:04,085
And then meeting Lucia...
305
00:11:04,086 --> 00:11:06,587
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
306
00:11:06,588 --> 00:11:08,788
[BOTH LAUGHING]
307
00:11:08,789 --> 00:11:10,924
- What did... what'd she say?
- It's a private joke.
308
00:11:10,925 --> 00:11:12,659
[LAUGHS]
309
00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:14,594
Okay, are you ready to spit with me?
310
00:11:14,595 --> 00:11:16,196
- [SIGHS]
- Hey.
311
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:17,689
Oh, Dad, I'm glad you're here.
312
00:11:17,690 --> 00:11:19,366
How did you... how'd
you know I would be here?
313
00:11:19,367 --> 00:11:20,934
I didn't. I'm picking up food.
314
00:11:20,935 --> 00:11:23,795
- Hey, I
- I give her food sometimes.
315
00:11:23,796 --> 00:11:25,662
I'm really glad you're
here. I got to talk to you.
316
00:11:25,663 --> 00:11:26,698
Everything okay?
317
00:11:26,699 --> 00:11:27,832
How'd things work out
with your roommate?
318
00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:29,309
Oh, great, yeah. Your advice was great.
319
00:11:29,310 --> 00:11:30,710
My advice was great, okay.
320
00:11:30,711 --> 00:11:32,279
But I've got a bigger problem now.
321
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,513
- You ready for this?
- Uh-huh.
322
00:11:33,514 --> 00:11:36,350
She sleeps with her eyes open.
323
00:11:36,351 --> 00:11:39,243
- Who?
- My roommate.
324
00:11:39,244 --> 00:11:41,889
- You... you sure she's asleep?
- Yeah, yeah, totally.
325
00:11:41,890 --> 00:11:44,524
She is sound asleep but her
eyes never close. It's like...
326
00:11:44,525 --> 00:11:46,893
- All night!
- Hmm.
327
00:11:46,894 --> 00:11:48,795
- So I need your advice.
- Oh.
328
00:11:48,796 --> 00:11:50,397
- Advise me.
- Yes, okay.
329
00:11:50,398 --> 00:11:53,065
Um...
330
00:11:53,066 --> 00:11:54,901
Uh, uh, maybe talk to her.
331
00:11:54,902 --> 00:11:56,980
I can't.
332
00:11:56,981 --> 00:11:59,279
She's still mad at me for
talking about her vibrator.
333
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,198
Okay, you know what? I don't
even like it when you say it.
334
00:12:01,199 --> 00:12:02,876
Don't... don't... don't say it.
335
00:12:02,877 --> 00:12:04,768
Uh, all right, well, you know what?
336
00:12:04,769 --> 00:12:06,951
Cover your eyes. Just put...
get a little sleep mask,
337
00:12:06,952 --> 00:12:09,634
- one of those things.
- No. I can't sleep with anything on my face.
338
00:12:09,635 --> 00:12:11,259
I feel like I'm buried alive.
339
00:12:11,260 --> 00:12:13,385
I... you know, I don't know.
340
00:12:13,386 --> 00:12:14,987
Maybe take a pillow,
put it over her face,
341
00:12:14,988 --> 00:12:17,089
and then, you know... [GRUNTS] You know?
342
00:12:17,090 --> 00:12:19,078
- That would probably do it.
- Here you go.
343
00:12:19,079 --> 00:12:20,692
This should hold you
for a couple of days.
344
00:12:20,693 --> 00:12:22,939
Thank you. Great.
I got to get to class. Bye.
345
00:12:22,940 --> 00:12:25,531
- Ciao, Lucia.
- [SPEAKING ITALIAN]
346
00:12:25,532 --> 00:12:27,724
[ALL LAUGHING]
347
00:12:27,725 --> 00:12:30,060
- What was that?
- It's a private joke.
348
00:12:30,061 --> 00:12:32,683
All right, let's get to this.
349
00:12:32,684 --> 00:12:34,006
So what do we do? We... we just...
350
00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:35,721
- You spit into the tubes?
- Yeah, yeah.
351
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:37,992
- We just spit into the tube.
- Hey, Ira.
352
00:12:37,993 --> 00:12:39,335
Craig, listen...
353
00:12:39,336 --> 00:12:41,738
uh, you mind bringing
this around to the back?
354
00:12:41,739 --> 00:12:44,074
Uh, sorry. I'm double-parked out there.
355
00:12:44,075 --> 00:12:47,644
I got three more stops
that I... You got it.
356
00:12:47,645 --> 00:12:49,512
- Very impressive.
- Yeah.
357
00:12:49,513 --> 00:12:51,468
I got that down to an
art. Believe it, Paulie.
358
00:12:51,469 --> 00:12:53,751
A crisp 20, flick of the
wrist, works every time.
359
00:12:53,752 --> 00:12:55,004
It's a thing of beauty,
how you did that.
360
00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:56,465
- Just a little.
- Yeah. All right, let's do this.
361
00:12:56,466 --> 00:12:58,282
So what is it? So you
spit into the tubes...
362
00:12:58,283 --> 00:12:59,822
Yeah. Oh, wait.
363
00:12:59,823 --> 00:13:01,456
- Prosciutto.
- What?
364
00:13:01,457 --> 00:13:03,615
Here. Rub some of this on your gums.
365
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,250
It'll increase the Italian-ness.
366
00:13:11,467 --> 00:13:13,635
May... maybe you don't understand this.
367
00:13:13,636 --> 00:13:16,105
They test what's in your
genes, not in your teeth.
368
00:13:16,106 --> 00:13:18,207
- Well, it can't hurt.
- No.
369
00:13:18,208 --> 00:13:21,711
I'm not gonna rub meat on my gum...
370
00:13:21,712 --> 00:13:23,111
Hey.
371
00:13:25,047 --> 00:13:26,380
Get it, girl! Come on!
372
00:13:26,381 --> 00:13:28,316
Get it! That's it!
373
00:13:28,317 --> 00:13:29,818
Ahh.
374
00:13:29,819 --> 00:13:32,620
Here's to 18 years of being screamed at
375
00:13:32,621 --> 00:13:34,729
- and puked on.
- And peed on!
376
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:37,558
[ALL SPEAKING AT ONCE]
377
00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:40,394
Ah, and here's to
cutting her grapes in half
378
00:13:40,395 --> 00:13:42,206
and then peeling them because she said
379
00:13:42,207 --> 00:13:44,365
the skin made her teeth feel itchy!
380
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,834
[ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE]
381
00:13:49,471 --> 00:13:51,572
Ahh.
382
00:13:51,573 --> 00:13:54,007
And here's to me for being brave enough
383
00:13:54,008 --> 00:13:56,043
to break into her
freakin' dorm this morning.
384
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:57,911
Wait, I thought you said...
385
00:13:57,912 --> 00:13:59,880
Here's to making such
great time coming all
386
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:01,341
- the way back from Hawaii.
- Cheers.
387
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:11,282
[SNORING]
388
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,869
[GASPS]
389
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,273
[CONTINUES SNORING]
390
00:14:48,034 --> 00:14:50,760
[BOTH SCREAMING]
391
00:14:50,761 --> 00:14:51,895
What the...
392
00:14:51,896 --> 00:14:54,462
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING]
393
00:15:13,963 --> 00:15:16,330
- Honey?
- Mm?
394
00:15:16,331 --> 00:15:19,033
- Swee... sweetie?
- Mm.
395
00:15:19,034 --> 00:15:21,268
- Do me a favor.
- Mm.
396
00:15:21,269 --> 00:15:22,469
Feel your head.
397
00:15:35,217 --> 00:15:37,318
Puppy.
398
00:15:37,319 --> 00:15:39,387
Yes.
399
00:15:39,388 --> 00:15:41,823
There was a puppy on my head.
400
00:15:41,824 --> 00:15:43,357
Yes.
401
00:15:43,358 --> 00:15:45,158
- From where?
- Exactly.
402
00:15:47,162 --> 00:15:50,731
Did you get me a puppy?
403
00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:53,734
I did not.
404
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:56,803
- Did you get me a puppy?
- I don't think so, no.
405
00:15:56,804 --> 00:15:58,506
[GASPS]
406
00:15:58,507 --> 00:16:00,241
Oh, wait.
407
00:16:00,242 --> 00:16:02,076
Okay.
408
00:16:02,077 --> 00:16:04,811
When I was on my way home last night,
409
00:16:04,812 --> 00:16:09,417
I found this sweet little baby
wandering the streets alone
410
00:16:09,418 --> 00:16:12,518
without a collar or
anything, and I rescued her.
411
00:16:14,389 --> 00:16:16,390
I rescued him.
412
00:16:16,391 --> 00:16:18,391
[DOORBELL RINGS]
413
00:16:18,392 --> 00:16:22,529
Did Mommy rescue you,
you cute little baby boy?
414
00:16:22,530 --> 00:16:24,765
- Okay, nobody get up.
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
415
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:27,367
Daddy will get the door,
416
00:16:27,368 --> 00:16:30,604
'cause apparently Mommy had
a few cocktails last night,
417
00:16:30,605 --> 00:16:33,773
and now Mommy don't feel so good, huh?
418
00:16:35,242 --> 00:16:36,877
- Hello, Buchmans.
- Hey.
419
00:16:36,878 --> 00:16:38,344
- One Buchman.
- Yeah.
420
00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:39,580
- What's up, Mr. Wicker?
- Oh.
421
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,782
The Berkowitzes down in 4D,
422
00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:44,141
they're looking for their dog, Puddin',
423
00:16:44,142 --> 00:16:46,453
so I'm going door to door
to see if somebody found him.
424
00:16:46,454 --> 00:16:47,955
- Hi, Mr. Wicker.
- Hmm.
425
00:16:47,956 --> 00:16:49,756
The Berkowitzes' dog is missing.
426
00:16:49,757 --> 00:16:51,490
Been missing since last night.
427
00:16:55,161 --> 00:16:56,896
- We'll keep our eyes open.
- Okay, sweetie.
428
00:16:56,897 --> 00:16:58,064
- No.
- Sweetie.
429
00:16:58,065 --> 00:17:00,365
Fine. Here.
430
00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:01,707
Oh, see?
431
00:17:01,708 --> 00:17:03,469
- I knew that was him.
- Yeah.
432
00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:05,437
Oh, wow.
433
00:17:05,438 --> 00:17:06,663
Thanks.
434
00:17:06,664 --> 00:17:09,942
You made some very happy Berkowitzes.
435
00:17:09,943 --> 00:17:12,745
Sweetie, so, when you say...
when you say you found him
436
00:17:12,746 --> 00:17:14,480
- in the street...
- Street, hallway...
437
00:17:14,481 --> 00:17:16,716
What's the difference? He's gone.
438
00:17:16,717 --> 00:17:18,618
They tell you to cherish every moment,
439
00:17:18,619 --> 00:17:20,319
- but you never do.
- What are you t...
440
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,121
- We had the dog 40 seconds.
- You don't get it.
441
00:17:22,122 --> 00:17:23,923
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
442
00:17:23,924 --> 00:17:26,557
That's Mabel. She's come to her senses.
443
00:17:26,558 --> 00:17:28,827
She knows a stupid
contract isn't the way...
444
00:17:28,828 --> 00:17:30,895
- Is this face-recognizing?
- Yeah.
445
00:17:30,896 --> 00:17:32,616
All right, here. Well,
show it your face.
446
00:17:33,499 --> 00:17:35,133
- What did you do?
- I...
447
00:17:35,134 --> 00:17:36,134
- Look normal.
- I...
448
00:17:38,403 --> 00:17:39,625
- See?
- Bingo.
449
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:40,639
Okay.
450
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,774
- Good Lord.
- Now what?
451
00:17:42,775 --> 00:17:46,511
"Daddy, I need you.
Will you come help me?"
452
00:17:46,512 --> 00:17:49,014
I remember being needed like that.
453
00:17:49,015 --> 00:17:50,215
Who am I kidding? No, I don't.
454
00:17:52,952 --> 00:17:54,518
- I love you.
- Whatever.
455
00:17:57,623 --> 00:17:59,790
You told me to do it.
456
00:17:59,791 --> 00:18:01,586
I told you to smother your roommate?
457
00:18:01,587 --> 00:18:02,951
Yes. Yes, yes, you did.
458
00:18:02,952 --> 00:18:05,511
You said, "Hey, why don't you
take a pillow and just..."
459
00:18:05,512 --> 00:18:09,005
Yeah, as a joke. I said it as a joke.
460
00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:11,898
Okay, well, no one's laughing
because she ratted me out.
461
00:18:11,899 --> 00:18:14,091
She called the dean and
said that I attacked her.
462
00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:16,951
Which, you know, technically not untrue.
463
00:18:16,952 --> 00:18:18,309
All right, so what do you want?
464
00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:19,877
Do you want me to go talk to the dean?
465
00:18:19,878 --> 00:18:21,471
No, no. You can't talk to anyone.
466
00:18:21,472 --> 00:18:23,213
Okay, well, then how would
you like me to help you?
467
00:18:23,214 --> 00:18:24,715
I don't know, but I'm pretty sure Mom
468
00:18:24,716 --> 00:18:26,650
would have figured something out by now.
469
00:18:26,651 --> 00:18:28,986
Well, now you're just being hurtful.
470
00:18:28,987 --> 00:18:31,102
I... you know, I hate
to tell you, honey.
471
00:18:31,103 --> 00:18:32,449
I ain't your mom. I got...
472
00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:34,324
I... you know... I got nothing.
473
00:18:34,325 --> 00:18:35,958
Well, think, okay?
474
00:18:35,959 --> 00:18:37,860
Because if they kick
me out of the dorms,
475
00:18:37,861 --> 00:18:39,447
I'll have to move back
home with you and Mom.
476
00:18:39,448 --> 00:18:42,965
[LAUGHS] Yeah, no.
477
00:18:42,966 --> 00:18:45,902
Dean Calhoun, she's
really... she's a good kid,
478
00:18:45,903 --> 00:18:47,337
- my daughter.
- Mr. Buchman...
479
00:18:47,338 --> 00:18:49,239
Yeah, she can be a
little lippy at times.
480
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,409
I'm not gonna lie about that,
but the... the physical violence,
481
00:18:52,410 --> 00:18:54,043
that's... that's out of the ordinary.
482
00:18:54,044 --> 00:18:55,978
Mr. Buchman, this is a student issue,
483
00:18:55,979 --> 00:18:58,014
not a parent issue.
484
00:18:58,015 --> 00:18:59,516
Your daughter will have an opportunity
485
00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:01,551
to explain herself in front of myself
486
00:19:01,552 --> 00:19:03,587
and a tribunal of her peers,
487
00:19:03,588 --> 00:19:05,312
just like every other NYU student
488
00:19:05,313 --> 00:19:07,591
who tries to suffocate their
roommate in their sleep.
489
00:19:07,592 --> 00:19:09,525
- Okay, well, fair enough.
- Mm.
490
00:19:09,526 --> 00:19:10,926
Um, but, see, here's the thing.
491
00:19:10,927 --> 00:19:12,661
Here's the thing. I, uh...
492
00:19:12,662 --> 00:19:14,432
I can't let her come
back and live with us.
493
00:19:14,433 --> 00:19:15,831
That's not gonna work
now. Can't... can't do it.
494
00:19:15,832 --> 00:19:16,865
- Can't.
- I'm sorry, Mr. Buchman.
495
00:19:16,866 --> 00:19:19,535
I... Dean Calhoun, uh,
496
00:19:19,536 --> 00:19:23,572
what do you say you,
me, and a nice crisp 20,
497
00:19:23,573 --> 00:19:24,939
and you let this thing slide?
498
00:19:27,744 --> 00:19:30,879
You do realize I'm a dean?
499
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,948
- I'm sorry.
- Uh-huh.
500
00:19:32,949 --> 00:19:35,618
What would that be, 40?
501
00:19:35,619 --> 00:19:36,619
Wow.
502
00:19:38,796 --> 00:19:40,831
Sweetie?
503
00:19:40,832 --> 00:19:43,166
Well, look who cleans
up so pretty and nice.
504
00:19:43,167 --> 00:19:44,423
Yeah, yeah. What do you want?
505
00:19:44,424 --> 00:19:45,969
- Close your eyes.
- Whatever it is...
506
00:19:45,970 --> 00:19:47,303
- Close your eyes.
- Just tell me.
507
00:19:47,304 --> 00:19:48,904
- I'm just not in the mood...
- Ta-da!
508
00:19:52,109 --> 00:19:55,178
Oh, my God!
509
00:19:55,179 --> 00:19:56,679
Right?
510
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,648
No. No, not another dog.
511
00:19:59,649 --> 00:20:01,817
I'm still getting over
the... Look at the face!
512
00:20:01,818 --> 00:20:03,019
Oh, my God. Come here.
513
00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:04,436
Give me, give me, give me!
514
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:06,718
And this one's all
yours, all in the clear.
515
00:20:06,719 --> 00:20:09,120
Got it from a great rescue place Uptown.
516
00:20:09,121 --> 00:20:11,689
Very nice lady named
Patty helped me with it.
517
00:20:11,690 --> 00:20:13,384
Smelled a bit German Shepherd-ish
518
00:20:13,385 --> 00:20:14,525
but very nice.
519
00:20:14,526 --> 00:20:17,145
Oh, sweetie, thank you so much.
520
00:20:17,146 --> 00:20:18,829
I love... her.
521
00:20:18,830 --> 00:20:20,864
I really, really do.
522
00:20:20,865 --> 00:20:23,039
Yeah, and I love you, too.
523
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,068
Mmm.
524
00:20:25,069 --> 00:20:26,837
- Can I ask you a question?
- Anything.
525
00:20:26,838 --> 00:20:28,159
It's about Mabel.
526
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,404
Yeah, you're on your own, hotshot.
527
00:20:29,405 --> 00:20:30,674
Oh, come on.
528
00:20:30,675 --> 00:20:32,296
I-I need your help on this one.
529
00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:34,177
- I wish I could.
- Okay.
530
00:20:34,178 --> 00:20:37,294
- Can I lay out a hypothetical?
- [GASPS] Hypothetical!
531
00:20:37,295 --> 00:20:38,629
Daddy said a big word.
532
00:20:40,518 --> 00:20:42,152
No kidding, I need you... I need you
533
00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:43,987
to step in on this one. This is...
534
00:20:43,988 --> 00:20:47,157
Your daughter is
exhausting. Tell me about it.
535
00:20:47,158 --> 00:20:48,992
Seriously, if it's like
this for you every day,
536
00:20:48,993 --> 00:20:50,826
- I don't know how you do it.
- No, I'm saying tell me about it.
537
00:20:50,827 --> 00:20:52,027
What's the problem?
538
00:20:52,028 --> 00:20:54,096
Oh, oh, tell m... okay.
539
00:20:54,097 --> 00:20:56,666
So, all right, short version...
540
00:20:56,667 --> 00:20:58,371
she tried to suffocate her roommate.
541
00:20:58,372 --> 00:21:00,169
What?
542
00:21:00,170 --> 00:21:01,972
Totally misunderstood my instructions.
543
00:21:01,973 --> 00:21:03,439
That's not what I said.
544
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:07,076
Anyway, the point is, now
she has to make an apology
545
00:21:07,077 --> 00:21:08,944
- in front of the dean.
- She is not good at apologies.
546
00:21:08,945 --> 00:21:10,846
I know, so I tried
to talk to the dean...
547
00:21:10,847 --> 00:21:12,648
- I wouldn't have done that.
- Yeah, now I know that.
548
00:21:12,649 --> 00:21:14,284
That didn't go well.
549
00:21:14,285 --> 00:21:17,754
On the bright side, I
did save 40 bucks, so...
550
00:21:17,755 --> 00:21:19,286
So, come on, help me out.
551
00:21:19,287 --> 00:21:20,956
What... what do I tell her?
552
00:21:20,957 --> 00:21:23,192
I was forced to sign a
legally binding contract
553
00:21:23,193 --> 00:21:25,226
against my will, so I can't help you.
554
00:21:25,227 --> 00:21:27,128
Yeah, but... but I need you.
555
00:21:27,129 --> 00:21:28,862
Yeah, that's called a predicament.
556
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,854
Come on, I-I just... I gave you a dog.
557
00:21:35,107 --> 00:21:36,831
All right, get your phone.
558
00:21:36,832 --> 00:21:38,157
Okay, thank you, thank you, thank you.
559
00:21:38,158 --> 00:21:39,608
I'll never forget this. Thank you.
560
00:21:39,609 --> 00:21:41,242
- Type.
- Okay, talk.
561
00:21:41,243 --> 00:21:43,378
"First and foremost,
562
00:21:43,379 --> 00:21:46,815
I take total responsibility
for my regrettable actions.
563
00:21:46,816 --> 00:21:48,347
- What happened last night"...
- Okay, hang on.
564
00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:50,251
Why is everybody so fast?
565
00:21:50,252 --> 00:21:51,953
"First and foremost,
566
00:21:51,954 --> 00:21:53,956
I would like to take
total responsibility
567
00:21:53,957 --> 00:21:55,590
for my regrettable actions.
568
00:21:55,591 --> 00:21:57,391
What happened last night was my fault
569
00:21:57,392 --> 00:21:59,092
and my fault alone.
570
00:21:59,093 --> 00:22:03,664
I will work to learn
and employ better"...
571
00:22:03,665 --> 00:22:05,333
Yeah, can I just say,
572
00:22:05,334 --> 00:22:08,135
it seems unfair in a world where women
573
00:22:08,136 --> 00:22:11,171
have been socialized to
apologize almost compulsively
574
00:22:11,172 --> 00:22:13,273
for... for me to be called to the carpet
575
00:22:13,274 --> 00:22:15,946
by "the man" for something
that happened in the...
576
00:22:15,947 --> 00:22:17,511
in the privacy of my dorm...
577
00:22:17,512 --> 00:22:19,747
Miss Buchman, why don't
you save us all some time
578
00:22:19,748 --> 00:22:22,832
and stick to the statement
that... having met your father...
579
00:22:22,833 --> 00:22:24,599
I assume your mother wrote?
580
00:22:26,321 --> 00:22:28,656
Okay, fine.
581
00:22:28,657 --> 00:22:31,291
Oh, you're perfect in every
single way, aren't you?
582
00:22:31,292 --> 00:22:33,361
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
583
00:22:33,362 --> 00:22:36,129
Oh, you two are just
in love, aren't you?
584
00:22:36,130 --> 00:22:37,831
What is that?
585
00:22:37,832 --> 00:22:38,966
It's the breast milk.
586
00:22:38,967 --> 00:22:40,800
I'm defrosting it for her.
587
00:22:40,801 --> 00:22:43,170
- Aren't you glad I saved it?
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
588
00:22:43,171 --> 00:22:44,604
Well, see if she wants to wash it down
589
00:22:44,605 --> 00:22:46,172
with some 25-year-old wedding cake.
590
00:22:48,109 --> 00:22:49,676
[DOORBELL RINGS]
591
00:22:49,677 --> 00:22:51,227
Is the place getting bigger?
592
00:22:51,228 --> 00:22:53,095
20 years ago I would
have been there already.
593
00:22:55,884 --> 00:22:57,284
- Mr. Buchman.
- Hi.
594
00:22:57,285 --> 00:22:58,852
- Hello.
- Hi.
595
00:22:58,853 --> 00:23:00,553
I don't know if you remember me.
596
00:23:00,554 --> 00:23:02,851
Yeah, of course, from the...
the doggy rescue place.
597
00:23:02,852 --> 00:23:04,024
- Nice lady... Patty.
- Yes.
598
00:23:04,025 --> 00:23:05,057
- Yes.
- Yes, I...
599
00:23:05,058 --> 00:23:07,562
- [DOG BARKING]
- No! Quiet!
600
00:23:07,563 --> 00:23:08,995
Uh, I'm a little confused.
601
00:23:08,996 --> 00:23:11,230
I thought the home inspection
wasn't until Friday.
602
00:23:11,231 --> 00:23:12,732
- No, this isn't about that.
- [DOG BARKING]
603
00:23:12,733 --> 00:23:15,301
No! Quiet.
604
00:23:15,302 --> 00:23:17,036
I mean it.
605
00:23:17,037 --> 00:23:18,838
Sorry.
606
00:23:18,839 --> 00:23:20,869
This is awkward, but I'm
afraid I need to take back
607
00:23:20,870 --> 00:23:22,241
the dog I gave you.
608
00:23:22,242 --> 00:23:23,810
What? No, no, no, no, you can't...
609
00:23:23,811 --> 00:23:25,255
No, no, you can't.
610
00:23:25,256 --> 00:23:28,214
No, my wife is in there
breastfeeding the dog as we speak.
611
00:23:28,215 --> 00:23:30,683
The young woman who gave
the dog up for adoption,
612
00:23:30,684 --> 00:23:32,519
she's had a change of heart.
613
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,487
Oh, yeah, but, Patty,
Patty, no, you can't do that.
614
00:23:34,488 --> 00:23:36,222
My wife and the dog, now
they're very connected.
615
00:23:36,223 --> 00:23:37,390
- You can't do that.
- Please.
616
00:23:37,391 --> 00:23:39,658
Hey, it's okay. I understand.
617
00:23:39,659 --> 00:23:41,326
It wasn't meant to be.
618
00:23:41,327 --> 00:23:45,330
I guess my mothering days are over.
619
00:23:45,331 --> 00:23:46,664
Good-bye, baby.
620
00:23:51,671 --> 00:23:54,406
I did bring another dog
I thought you might like.
621
00:23:54,407 --> 00:23:56,688
No. No more dogs.
622
00:23:56,689 --> 00:23:57,776
It's too painful.
623
00:23:57,777 --> 00:24:00,512
How about this one?
624
00:24:00,513 --> 00:24:02,848
She's a beauty.
625
00:24:02,849 --> 00:24:05,216
There is no beauty. Thanks, anyway.
626
00:24:05,217 --> 00:24:08,086
What about this guy?
627
00:24:08,087 --> 00:24:10,121
Huh?
628
00:24:10,122 --> 00:24:12,557
No, thank you, really. It's okay.
629
00:24:12,558 --> 00:24:15,059
- [DOG BARKING]
- What about that guy?
630
00:24:15,060 --> 00:24:16,806
Oh, no. You don't want that dog.
631
00:24:16,807 --> 00:24:18,295
Why not? Hey. Hey, buddy.
632
00:24:18,296 --> 00:24:21,437
Mr. Buchman, this is
not the dog for you.
633
00:24:21,438 --> 00:24:22,700
Believe me.
634
00:24:22,701 --> 00:24:25,736
He has sleep issues, anxiety issues,
635
00:24:25,737 --> 00:24:28,038
digestion problems,
chronic ear infections.
636
00:24:28,039 --> 00:24:30,950
His ears need to be constantly
cleaned and medicated.
637
00:24:30,951 --> 00:24:33,744
He's been sent back more
times than I care to recall.
638
00:24:33,745 --> 00:24:36,313
He just doesn't take to people.
639
00:24:36,314 --> 00:24:38,581
Some dogs, they just don't socialize.
640
00:24:48,829 --> 00:24:49,961
We'll take him.
641
00:24:58,659 --> 00:25:02,103
Sign here and here and initial here,
642
00:25:02,104 --> 00:25:05,509
and read out loud the
last line of the agreement.
643
00:25:05,510 --> 00:25:06,909
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
644
00:25:09,446 --> 00:25:11,681
"And so I, Mabel Buchman,
645
00:25:11,682 --> 00:25:14,117
faced with the result of
this horrendous experiment,
646
00:25:14,118 --> 00:25:16,986
do solemnly promise never
again to demand distance
647
00:25:16,987 --> 00:25:22,225
of any kind between myself and
my wonderful, loving mother".
648
00:25:22,226 --> 00:25:23,960
Great, I'll make you a copy
649
00:25:23,961 --> 00:25:25,961
and keep the original here on file.
650
00:25:25,962 --> 00:25:28,296
Okay.
651
00:25:28,297 --> 00:25:29,697
- Are we done?
- You bet ya.
652
00:25:31,935 --> 00:25:33,802
- [DOG BARKS]
- [GASPS]
653
00:25:33,803 --> 00:25:35,706
- What the hell was that?
- Your new brother.
654
00:25:35,707 --> 00:25:40,707
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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