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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
2
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Swear to God, I didn't recognize
them when they walked in.
3
00:00:11,838 --> 00:00:14,407
How long has it been since
the last time we saw them?
4
00:00:14,408 --> 00:00:17,258
Oh, boy. Must be, like 20 years.
5
00:00:17,259 --> 00:00:19,461
It's been a long time. People change.
6
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Not to be catty, but you don't
think she looked a little...
7
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I thought she looked fine.
8
00:00:23,466 --> 00:00:25,199
Ah, not fine, but...
9
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,124
Yeah, she... she looked fatigued,
10
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I gotta say, yeah.
11
00:00:28,436 --> 00:00:30,504
She looked a little worn down.
12
00:00:30,505 --> 00:00:31,705
- Right?
- Yeah.
13
00:00:31,706 --> 00:00:33,240
He did not look well, I thought.
14
00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:34,746
Yeah, well, you know, even before
15
00:00:34,747 --> 00:00:35,912
he didn't look that good.
16
00:00:38,484 --> 00:00:40,485
Do I...
17
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Am I fatigued looking?
18
00:00:42,454 --> 00:00:44,622
No.
19
00:00:44,623 --> 00:00:46,824
Seriously, do I look...
what did you call her?
20
00:00:46,825 --> 00:00:48,495
- "Worn down"?
- No, not at...
21
00:00:48,496 --> 00:00:50,763
- She had a very tough couple of years.
- Okay,
22
00:00:50,764 --> 00:00:54,465
- you haven't seen me in 20 years.
- Okay.
23
00:00:54,466 --> 00:00:57,081
- I walk into a restaurant.
- All right.
24
00:00:57,082 --> 00:00:59,570
I say, "Wow, look at
you! You look fantastic".
25
00:00:59,571 --> 00:01:01,639
I'm saying it's 20 years later.
26
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:02,740
I understand.
27
00:01:02,741 --> 00:01:05,309
- I walk in.
- Yeah.
28
00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:08,144
Beautiful.
29
00:01:08,145 --> 00:01:11,014
- But if you look really close.
- I'm looking close.
30
00:01:11,015 --> 00:01:12,316
If you put your glasses on.
31
00:01:12,317 --> 00:01:13,582
- These are reading...
- Just...
32
00:01:18,523 --> 00:01:19,755
Yeah, I see what you mean.
33
00:01:59,649 --> 00:02:01,140
Okay, I'm putting the Post-its in
34
00:02:01,141 --> 00:02:02,966
with the pencils and
the pencil sharpener.
35
00:02:02,967 --> 00:02:04,400
You know, she hasn't used a pencil
36
00:02:04,401 --> 00:02:05,745
- since second grade, right?
- I don't care.
37
00:02:05,746 --> 00:02:07,737
Who goes to college without a pencil?
38
00:02:07,738 --> 00:02:09,472
Hey, do you want me to
start loading the elevator?
39
00:02:09,473 --> 00:02:11,364
- Not yet, she's got more.
- Oh, come on.
40
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:14,244
- How much more could there be?
- Oh, my God, we are so late.
41
00:02:14,245 --> 00:02:15,669
I wanted to get there early enough
42
00:02:15,670 --> 00:02:17,204
to get the good bed without looking like
43
00:02:17,205 --> 00:02:18,804
I was trying to get there early
enough to get the good bed.
44
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,850
But it's college, right?
45
00:02:20,851 --> 00:02:22,485
It's a dorm. It probably
isn't a good bed.
46
00:02:22,486 --> 00:02:23,811
But if there is one, I want it.
47
00:02:23,812 --> 00:02:25,454
Is this... is this...
is this everything?
48
00:02:25,455 --> 00:02:26,549
No, no, there's more.
49
00:02:26,550 --> 00:02:27,857
Did you pack your phone charger?
50
00:02:27,858 --> 00:02:29,859
- Yes!
- What is even in here?
51
00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:32,327
I don't know, I think, like,
sheets and towels and...
52
00:02:32,328 --> 00:02:34,897
144 condoms?
53
00:02:34,898 --> 00:02:36,665
- Her idea.
- Honey.
54
00:02:36,666 --> 00:02:38,401
- It's college.
- Exactly.
55
00:02:38,402 --> 00:02:40,269
It's not post-war Saigon.
56
00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:42,405
- Why... why... why...
- Phone charger?
57
00:02:42,406 --> 00:02:45,040
Oh, my God. Yes. Okay? Can we please go?
58
00:02:45,041 --> 00:02:46,508
- Yes.
- Let's go.
59
00:02:50,847 --> 00:02:52,882
Okay, let's go.
60
00:02:52,883 --> 00:02:54,517
S-sweetie, did you get a chance to...
61
00:02:54,518 --> 00:02:56,385
to read the little poem I wrote you?
62
00:02:56,386 --> 00:02:58,010
I did not get
63
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,423
- to read the whole thing... yet.
- But... but you have it?
64
00:03:00,424 --> 00:03:01,724
- Of course.
- Okay.
65
00:03:01,725 --> 00:03:05,428
It's right here with all of my...
66
00:03:05,429 --> 00:03:08,063
I know exactly where it is.
67
00:03:08,064 --> 00:03:09,798
She couldn't take two
minutes to read the poem.
68
00:03:09,799 --> 00:03:11,566
Okay, but you're not gonna
read it to her now, right?
69
00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:13,409
- I'm not gonna read the whole thing, but I...
- I'm begging you.
70
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:16,270
I know you had this whole little
moment planned out in your head.
71
00:03:16,271 --> 00:03:17,872
- She's leaving the nest.
- I understand.
72
00:03:17,873 --> 00:03:19,387
- Found it!
- She does not need
73
00:03:19,388 --> 00:03:20,642
to see you cry right now.
74
00:03:20,643 --> 00:03:22,444
I don't need to see you cry right now.
75
00:03:22,445 --> 00:03:24,712
Okay, okay. I won't...
fine, I won't read it.
76
00:03:24,713 --> 00:03:25,914
I put it right where
I wouldn't forget it.
77
00:03:25,915 --> 00:03:28,783
Yeah, but now it's all wrinkled.
78
00:03:28,784 --> 00:03:30,318
Sweetie, the only reason
79
00:03:30,319 --> 00:03:32,153
I mention the phone charger is I know...
80
00:03:32,154 --> 00:03:33,788
Oh, my God. You literally
don't believe me.
81
00:03:33,789 --> 00:03:35,457
- Of course I believe you.
- You wanna see it?
82
00:03:35,458 --> 00:03:37,459
No, I don't...
83
00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:39,325
Okay. Great.
84
00:03:40,996 --> 00:03:43,431
I just know a lot of times
I think I grab one thing
85
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:47,208
and later it turns out I
grabbed a different thing.
86
00:03:47,209 --> 00:03:50,938
- Where you going now?
- Wrong friggin' charger.
87
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,940
Sweetie, debilitating sadness...
88
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,642
- debilitating is L-I-T?
- What did you write?
89
00:03:55,643 --> 00:03:57,811
When you read the whole
thing it makes more sense.
90
00:03:57,812 --> 00:03:58,903
Can we please go?
91
00:03:58,904 --> 00:04:00,135
Can we take a picture, please?
92
00:04:00,136 --> 00:04:01,560
- Mom, no, no, no.
- You're not gonna wanna
93
00:04:01,561 --> 00:04:03,518
do it later when all your
new friends are there.
94
00:04:03,519 --> 00:04:05,452
- Fine.
- Okay.
95
00:04:07,655 --> 00:04:09,823
Okay, let's go.
96
00:04:09,824 --> 00:04:12,158
The beginning is kind
of sweet, I thought.
97
00:04:12,159 --> 00:04:16,262
"Every baby bird must someday
fly and leave the nest..."
98
00:04:16,263 --> 00:04:17,865
Oh, for God's sake.
99
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:20,166
Okay, okay, okay. Let's go.
100
00:04:20,167 --> 00:04:21,334
You ready? I'm ready.
101
00:04:21,335 --> 00:04:23,370
I'm as ready as a person can be.
102
00:04:23,371 --> 00:04:25,973
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
103
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,475
Hang on. Gotta pee.
104
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,143
From reading?
105
00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,611
No. From, like, an hour ago,
106
00:04:31,612 --> 00:04:32,812
but I didn't want you to be late.
107
00:04:32,813 --> 00:04:34,389
I really don't wanna be late.
108
00:04:34,390 --> 00:04:36,116
Just go pee fast.
109
00:04:36,117 --> 00:04:38,684
Well, that's not always up to me.
110
00:04:38,685 --> 00:04:40,553
Hello, Buchmans!
111
00:04:40,554 --> 00:04:42,022
- Mr. Wicker.
- Oh, boy am I glad
112
00:04:42,023 --> 00:04:43,689
I caught up with you
guys before you left.
113
00:04:43,690 --> 00:04:47,494
You are taking a lot of stuff.
114
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:48,861
I thought you were going to NYU.
115
00:04:48,862 --> 00:04:52,065
- I am.
- Well, it's five blocks away.
116
00:04:52,066 --> 00:04:54,567
It's five very long blocks.
117
00:04:54,568 --> 00:04:56,785
- Hey, Mr. Wicker.
- That was fast.
118
00:04:56,786 --> 00:04:58,290
Yeah, I didn't go.
119
00:04:58,291 --> 00:04:59,897
I won't take up a lot of your time.
120
00:04:59,898 --> 00:05:02,842
But I thought you would
get a kick out of this.
121
00:05:02,843 --> 00:05:04,977
You know what that is?
A picture of your parents
122
00:05:04,978 --> 00:05:07,313
bringing you home from the hospital.
123
00:05:07,314 --> 00:05:08,681
How about that?
124
00:05:08,682 --> 00:05:10,483
- Ohh.
- Aww.
125
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:13,018
Ohh!
126
00:05:13,019 --> 00:05:14,591
You were a delightful child.
127
00:05:14,592 --> 00:05:16,388
Muah.
128
00:05:16,389 --> 00:05:18,862
And don't you be a stranger.
129
00:05:18,863 --> 00:05:22,561
Okay, if you need me Buchmans,
you know where to find me.
130
00:05:22,562 --> 00:05:24,329
- Let's go.
- Yeah.
131
00:05:24,330 --> 00:05:25,755
You know what we forgot to do?
132
00:05:25,756 --> 00:05:28,767
And I think we're gonna kick
ourselves if we don't do it.
133
00:05:28,768 --> 00:05:31,070
"Every baby bird must
fly and leave the nest.
134
00:05:31,071 --> 00:05:32,737
And even though our hearts are breaking,
135
00:05:32,738 --> 00:05:34,858
we wish you all the..."
Oh, we'll read it in the car.
136
00:05:40,780 --> 00:05:42,781
You know, you guys can
go. I can make the bed.
137
00:05:42,782 --> 00:05:44,782
That's okay. I'm almost finished.
138
00:05:47,387 --> 00:05:50,255
Ew. What is that?
139
00:05:50,256 --> 00:05:52,157
- Mattress protector.
- So what's that, then?
140
00:05:52,158 --> 00:05:53,251
- Mattress pad.
- No, I thought
141
00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:54,593
that was the mattress protector.
142
00:05:54,594 --> 00:05:55,810
- It is.
- For bed bugs.
143
00:05:55,811 --> 00:05:57,128
Yeah.
144
00:05:57,129 --> 00:05:59,430
Okay, so if a bug is strong enough
145
00:05:59,431 --> 00:06:00,932
to make it past the first protector
146
00:06:00,933 --> 00:06:02,901
and fight its way
through a mattress pad,
147
00:06:02,902 --> 00:06:05,470
what makes you think it couldn't
break through the second protector?
148
00:06:05,471 --> 00:06:06,862
- Do you wanna live with bugs?
- No.
149
00:06:06,863 --> 00:06:08,607
You know, you could be
helping me with this.
150
00:06:08,608 --> 00:06:10,288
- I just offered.
- It's fine. I've got it.
151
00:06:25,557 --> 00:06:26,990
That's the sound it makes.
152
00:06:28,260 --> 00:06:29,728
All right, fine.
153
00:06:29,729 --> 00:06:31,930
Your roommate seems very nice.
154
00:06:31,931 --> 00:06:35,133
What's she from Syria?
That's so impressive.
155
00:06:35,134 --> 00:06:38,636
Yeah? Why is that impressive, Mom?
156
00:06:38,637 --> 00:06:42,473
No. I mean to be that
committed to an education
157
00:06:42,474 --> 00:06:44,308
that you travel halfway
around the world.
158
00:06:44,309 --> 00:06:46,372
And yet, her parents
got here early enough
159
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,579
to get the good bed.
160
00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:50,014
Okay.
161
00:06:50,015 --> 00:06:51,415
You know what? I... I think it's time
162
00:06:51,416 --> 00:06:52,783
that you guys should go, anyway.
163
00:06:52,784 --> 00:06:54,818
No. What do you mean? Why? Why?
164
00:06:54,819 --> 00:06:56,596
Because I have the
dorm orientation thing.
165
00:06:56,597 --> 00:06:58,756
Okay, but that doesn't
mean we have to...
166
00:06:58,757 --> 00:07:01,523
Attention parents, it's
time to say good-bye.
167
00:07:05,643 --> 00:07:07,301
So this is it.
168
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,368
This is it.
169
00:07:15,750 --> 00:07:18,149
Thank you for my nice poem.
170
00:07:19,842 --> 00:07:21,066
Mabel? You coming?
171
00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:23,268
Yeah, yeah. I'll be right there.
172
00:07:23,269 --> 00:07:24,882
- I gotta go.
- I love you.
173
00:07:24,883 --> 00:07:26,550
I love you, too.
174
00:07:33,513 --> 00:07:34,778
Now, go. Go, go, go, go.
175
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,996
I thought that went pretty well.
176
00:07:51,592 --> 00:07:53,993
- How you doing there, tiger?
- I'm okay now.
177
00:07:58,633 --> 00:07:59,899
How about now?
178
00:08:01,975 --> 00:08:03,442
Slightly less so.
179
00:08:05,571 --> 00:08:08,371
Boy, was it always this quiet?
180
00:08:09,544 --> 00:08:11,010
Mm.
181
00:08:14,417 --> 00:08:16,451
- How about you?
- What?
182
00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:17,953
You okay?
183
00:08:17,954 --> 00:08:19,788
I am, yeah.
184
00:08:19,789 --> 00:08:21,356
Well, all right.
185
00:08:23,426 --> 00:08:25,294
- Well, here we are.
- I know, right?
186
00:08:25,295 --> 00:08:28,197
Well, welcome to Tahiti.
187
00:08:28,198 --> 00:08:30,266
Tahiti.
188
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,401
I don't know what you're saying.
189
00:08:32,402 --> 00:08:33,934
We made it to Tahiti.
190
00:08:35,805 --> 00:08:37,806
Wha... when Mabel was a baby
191
00:08:37,807 --> 00:08:40,141
and you were up every
20 minutes breastfeeding,
192
00:08:40,142 --> 00:08:42,168
remember one night, you crawled
into bed and you said,
193
00:08:42,169 --> 00:08:43,579
"When this kid goes off to college,
194
00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:45,213
we're going to Tahiti".
195
00:08:45,214 --> 00:08:47,582
I said that?
196
00:08:47,583 --> 00:08:49,418
Yes, you said that.
197
00:08:49,419 --> 00:08:51,553
- Huh.
- Seriously. What...
198
00:08:51,554 --> 00:08:52,921
All right, well, then,
199
00:08:52,922 --> 00:08:54,989
why do you think for the last 17 years,
200
00:08:54,990 --> 00:08:56,425
whenever things got crazy with Mabel,
201
00:08:56,426 --> 00:08:58,660
I would wink at you and say, "Tahiti".
202
00:08:58,661 --> 00:09:00,541
To be honest, I never
really understood that.
203
00:09:02,732 --> 00:09:04,499
What are you talk...
You used to wink back.
204
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,835
I didn't wanna hurt your feelings.
205
00:09:06,836 --> 00:09:08,837
All right. Well, then,
were you not puzzled?
206
00:09:08,838 --> 00:09:10,963
Like, "Why does my husband
keep saying Tahiti?"
207
00:09:10,964 --> 00:09:12,780
I thought maybe it was
some kind of movie reference
208
00:09:12,781 --> 00:09:13,838
I was supposed to know.
209
00:09:13,839 --> 00:09:16,177
Like, "Rosebud".
210
00:09:16,178 --> 00:09:18,846
"Tahiti".
211
00:09:18,847 --> 00:09:20,369
- No.
- There was a period
212
00:09:20,370 --> 00:09:23,417
in the middle where I thought
you were saying "Tahini".
213
00:09:23,418 --> 00:09:24,685
Who's that?
214
00:09:24,686 --> 00:09:26,086
I... what?
215
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:27,621
This is very unsettling.
216
00:09:27,622 --> 00:09:30,524
I was under the erroneous
assumption for years
217
00:09:30,525 --> 00:09:32,660
that we were on the same
page about this, but...
218
00:09:32,661 --> 00:09:37,097
A child leaves home, it's like a death.
219
00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:38,632
Not a death, God forbid.
220
00:09:38,633 --> 00:09:39,956
I shouldn't use the word "death".
221
00:09:39,957 --> 00:09:41,101
It's a loss.
222
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:43,537
It's a terrible, horrible loss.
223
00:09:43,538 --> 00:09:45,706
It's... it's brutal.
224
00:09:45,707 --> 00:09:48,308
It just rips the heart
right out of your chest.
225
00:09:48,309 --> 00:09:51,978
And I find the only salve for that
226
00:09:51,979 --> 00:09:55,615
is to suppress your feelings with food.
227
00:09:55,616 --> 00:09:58,718
So I got you some lox, some whitefish
228
00:09:58,719 --> 00:10:00,128
some kippered salmon.
229
00:10:00,129 --> 00:10:01,924
I don't know whether you
guys like sturgeon or not,
230
00:10:01,925 --> 00:10:05,458
but I got some anyway.
And a little piece of sable.
231
00:10:05,459 --> 00:10:08,794
Holy Malloy, is that stuff expensive.
232
00:10:14,134 --> 00:10:15,635
How are you guys?
233
00:10:15,636 --> 00:10:17,737
We're fine. Mark, this is so nice.
234
00:10:17,738 --> 00:10:20,339
- And totally unnecessary.
- It's so much food.
235
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:22,089
That's what my beautiful bride said.
236
00:10:22,090 --> 00:10:23,809
But I lost that argument.
237
00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:26,378
- Oh, my goodness, more food.
- What did you guys do?
238
00:10:26,379 --> 00:10:27,570
In case you were wondering
239
00:10:27,571 --> 00:10:29,414
what a lifetime supply
of bagels looked like,
240
00:10:29,415 --> 00:10:31,316
here you go.
241
00:10:31,317 --> 00:10:32,985
- How you guys doing?
- You know what?
242
00:10:32,986 --> 00:10:35,487
She's a rock, I had a
bit of a bumpy morning.
243
00:10:35,488 --> 00:10:37,155
Oh, please. Empty nest? It's a killer.
244
00:10:37,156 --> 00:10:38,924
- Mark.
- No.
245
00:10:38,925 --> 00:10:40,692
No, that's what broke up my marriage.
246
00:10:40,693 --> 00:10:43,261
I'm not saying Fran and I
didn't have our problems.
247
00:10:43,262 --> 00:10:45,764
But the minute that kid
left the house, boom!
248
00:10:45,765 --> 00:10:47,933
Dead marriage.
249
00:10:47,934 --> 00:10:50,235
My darling, I beg you to stop talking,
250
00:10:50,236 --> 00:10:51,894
- and yet, you don't.
- You see?
251
00:10:51,895 --> 00:10:54,072
From Fran, that would've
sounded critical.
252
00:10:54,073 --> 00:10:55,707
But from my Tonya...
253
00:10:55,708 --> 00:10:56,908
it's comforting.
254
00:10:59,044 --> 00:11:01,211
Okay. We're gonna get out of your hair.
255
00:11:01,212 --> 00:11:02,880
No, no, we can't eat
this all by ourselves.
256
00:11:02,881 --> 00:11:04,882
- Come help me.
- No, we got a thing...
257
00:11:04,883 --> 00:11:08,586
Just a little bite so
as not to seem rude.
258
00:11:08,587 --> 00:11:11,407
So, did you read that terrific review
259
00:11:11,408 --> 00:11:12,523
for Ira's restaurant?
260
00:11:12,524 --> 00:11:14,258
Ah... how about that?
261
00:11:14,259 --> 00:11:16,093
- Isn't that something?
- Yeah, "New York Times", huh?
262
00:11:16,094 --> 00:11:17,628
I know.
263
00:11:17,629 --> 00:11:19,120
Have you been in the restaurant lately?
264
00:11:19,121 --> 00:11:20,933
No, we're gonna try and
go later today, but...
265
00:11:20,934 --> 00:11:22,533
Did you read that review?
266
00:11:22,534 --> 00:11:25,536
I just said... yes.
267
00:11:25,537 --> 00:11:27,805
How big a day is today, huh?
268
00:11:27,806 --> 00:11:29,574
- Well.
- I mean, my very favorite
269
00:11:29,575 --> 00:11:31,241
and only niece leaves for college.
270
00:11:31,242 --> 00:11:32,709
I gotta say a proper good-bye,
271
00:11:32,710 --> 00:11:34,644
'cause I want her to see me see her
272
00:11:34,645 --> 00:11:36,580
walk out that door, so I'm
certainly not gonna miss
273
00:11:36,581 --> 00:11:38,282
- this momentous moment.
- Okay.
274
00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:40,951
We dropped her off, like, an hour ago.
275
00:11:40,952 --> 00:11:43,287
- Oh, poo!
- Yeah.
276
00:11:43,288 --> 00:11:47,124
- So, "a rock", huh?
- What?
277
00:11:47,125 --> 00:11:48,858
Your only child leaves home for college,
278
00:11:48,859 --> 00:11:49,893
and you're a rock?
279
00:11:49,894 --> 00:11:51,962
Is it bad that I'm okay with it?
280
00:11:51,963 --> 00:11:53,430
All right, listen to me.
281
00:11:53,431 --> 00:11:55,765
My practice is overflowing with women
282
00:11:55,766 --> 00:11:57,401
whose kids have left for college.
283
00:11:57,402 --> 00:11:59,836
And to a person, these women are undone.
284
00:11:59,837 --> 00:12:02,172
They walk in the door,
throw themselves on my couch
285
00:12:02,173 --> 00:12:04,241
and cry, and cry, and cry.
286
00:12:04,242 --> 00:12:06,142
They are broken women.
287
00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:08,611
So, you tell me you're all hunky-dory,
288
00:12:08,612 --> 00:12:10,480
- I gotta question that.
- Isn't the plan
289
00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:12,181
to raise them so they're ready to leave
290
00:12:12,182 --> 00:12:14,150
and if we do a good job, they go?
291
00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:17,453
They say the same
thing, and then they cry.
292
00:12:17,454 --> 00:12:20,689
We did a good job, I
think. I'm happy about that.
293
00:12:20,690 --> 00:12:22,458
Well, then maybe I'm wrong.
294
00:12:22,459 --> 00:12:25,261
Maybe you found a way to navigate
295
00:12:25,262 --> 00:12:28,131
these shark-infested waters gracefully.
296
00:12:28,132 --> 00:12:30,515
- In that case, I salute you.
- Well, I thank you
297
00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:33,202
and I salute you right back.
298
00:12:33,203 --> 00:12:36,506
Tahiti? You know how
long a flight that is?
299
00:12:36,507 --> 00:12:38,141
It's not actual Tahiti, it's a metaphor.
300
00:12:38,142 --> 00:12:40,042
- Hey, Lisa.
- Hey. Did you see
301
00:12:40,043 --> 00:12:41,777
- how much food you have?
- I did.
302
00:12:41,778 --> 00:12:43,545
Sweetie, explain Tahiti
to them, would you?
303
00:12:43,546 --> 00:12:47,149
Uh, Tahiti, you know, like, Tahiti.
304
00:12:47,150 --> 00:12:50,552
I don't know.
305
00:12:50,553 --> 00:12:52,521
I have to say, I'm impressed.
306
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,489
I would've bet money
that she'd be a wreck.
307
00:12:54,490 --> 00:12:56,458
- But good for her.
- Paul cried.
308
00:12:56,459 --> 00:12:58,027
- All right.
- That's healthy.
309
00:12:58,028 --> 00:12:59,895
And he wrote a beautiful poem.
310
00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:01,530
- All right.
- It's a little long.
311
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,999
- I mean, to be so composed.
- Huh.
312
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,701
What?
313
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,369
Guess who didn't make her bed?
314
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,704
Marie Antoinette.
315
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,675
'Cause she was the queen.
316
00:13:12,676 --> 00:13:14,042
Wait, what happened?
317
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,544
Your daughter leaves for college,
318
00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,045
and she doesn't make the bed.
319
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,846
Sh... sweetie, she always
doesn't make her bed.
320
00:13:18,847 --> 00:13:21,483
Yeah, but today? Her last day at home,
321
00:13:21,484 --> 00:13:23,552
she doesn't take time to make the bed?
322
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:25,344
- That's a message.
- What's the message?
323
00:13:25,345 --> 00:13:27,556
Well, it isn't "Thanks for
17 years of love and support".
324
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,591
- Here it comes.
- No.
325
00:13:29,592 --> 00:13:32,194
It's not what you think. It's the bed.
326
00:13:32,195 --> 00:13:34,229
Feels a little passive aggressive to me.
327
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,097
Maybe I'm wrong. I'm letting it go.
328
00:13:36,098 --> 00:13:37,334
- Well, I'd say...
- Hey, you know what?
329
00:13:37,335 --> 00:13:40,034
I noticed the bed, and I didn't love it.
330
00:13:40,035 --> 00:13:41,603
No one would love it.
331
00:13:41,604 --> 00:13:43,037
Ask those lunatic patients of yours.
332
00:13:43,038 --> 00:13:44,310
They wouldn't love it.
333
00:13:44,311 --> 00:13:46,107
Those girls would be
peeing down their own leg.
334
00:13:46,108 --> 00:13:47,940
But me? I let it go.
335
00:13:54,048 --> 00:13:55,715
What are you looking at?
336
00:14:08,296 --> 00:14:09,796
- Oh!
- You didn't make your bed.
337
00:14:09,797 --> 00:14:11,122
- What?
- I don't think you meant
338
00:14:11,123 --> 00:14:12,433
to send that kind of message, did you?
339
00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:14,201
You probably just forgot.
340
00:14:14,202 --> 00:14:17,204
You see where I am,
right? I'm in college.
341
00:14:17,205 --> 00:14:19,806
Exactly. And someday
you're going to come home
342
00:14:19,807 --> 00:14:21,208
and when you do, you'll probably want
343
00:14:21,209 --> 00:14:22,942
a nicely made bed waiting for you.
344
00:14:22,943 --> 00:14:24,278
So why don't you come
on home and make it?
345
00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:25,411
No.
346
00:14:25,412 --> 00:14:27,780
- Sweetie.
- I'm not coming home just to make my bed.
347
00:14:27,781 --> 00:14:29,115
- Well, I...
- If you make me make my bed,
348
00:14:29,116 --> 00:14:30,541
I'll never come home. In which case,
349
00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:32,084
it doesn't really matter
if the bed gets made or not.
350
00:14:32,085 --> 00:14:33,085
How about that?
351
00:14:33,086 --> 00:14:34,454
Well, I'm not making your bed.
352
00:14:34,455 --> 00:14:36,389
- Well, I'm not asking you to.
- Good.
353
00:14:36,390 --> 00:14:38,790
If it bothers you that much,
maybe just get rid of the bed.
354
00:14:41,828 --> 00:14:43,061
So what'd she say?
355
00:14:45,466 --> 00:14:47,099
Is that... is that you to me, or...
356
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,600
That's her to me. I'm paraphrasing.
357
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,800
- Ahh!
- Can I say something?
358
00:14:54,801 --> 00:14:56,075
You people! You don't have to
359
00:14:56,076 --> 00:14:57,777
physically come here to say things.
360
00:14:57,778 --> 00:14:59,311
If this is about the frickin' bed...
361
00:14:59,312 --> 00:15:01,446
Listen to me. You have
been out of the house
362
00:15:01,447 --> 00:15:03,400
an hour and a half,
and in that short time,
363
00:15:03,401 --> 00:15:04,750
it's all gone to hell.
364
00:15:04,751 --> 00:15:06,751
So I need you to come home.
You gotta make the bed.
365
00:15:08,321 --> 00:15:10,689
You don't really want
me to make the bed.
366
00:15:10,690 --> 00:15:12,591
- Uh, yes I do.
- It's what Mom wants.
367
00:15:12,592 --> 00:15:13,859
So?
368
00:15:13,860 --> 00:15:15,761
She's manipulating you.
369
00:15:15,762 --> 00:15:17,696
So?
370
00:15:17,697 --> 00:15:21,533
Listen, you and I both know
this isn't about the bed.
371
00:15:21,534 --> 00:15:23,302
But really, it's about the bed.
372
00:15:23,303 --> 00:15:26,038
So what I'm saying is
come home, make the bed.
373
00:15:26,039 --> 00:15:27,472
But don't think of it
as doing it for Mom,
374
00:15:27,473 --> 00:15:29,974
think of it as doing something for me.
375
00:15:29,975 --> 00:15:31,387
I'm not gonna come home and make the bed
376
00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:33,011
because A, it's ridiculous.
377
00:15:33,012 --> 00:15:35,313
But two, I'm protecting you.
378
00:15:35,314 --> 00:15:36,848
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
379
00:15:36,849 --> 00:15:38,107
How do you think Mom's gonna feel
380
00:15:38,108 --> 00:15:39,542
if she couldn't get me to come home,
381
00:15:39,543 --> 00:15:42,183
but when you come here
and ask, I say, "Sure"?
382
00:15:43,655 --> 00:15:45,323
It's not gonna sit well, trust me.
383
00:15:45,324 --> 00:15:46,604
I'm helping you. You're welcome.
384
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:50,962
Very nicely played.
385
00:15:50,963 --> 00:15:53,464
Hey, nice to see you again.
386
00:15:53,465 --> 00:15:54,965
Yep, that's my dad.
387
00:16:24,211 --> 00:16:27,947
"Finally, authentic Italian food
388
00:16:27,948 --> 00:16:29,916
that with every bite transports you
389
00:16:29,917 --> 00:16:32,051
straight to the hills of Tuscany.
390
00:16:32,052 --> 00:16:34,920
Every dish a sublime
work of perfection".
391
00:16:34,921 --> 00:16:36,555
- Is this fantastic?
- No, wait, wait.
392
00:16:36,556 --> 00:16:40,626
"Mr. Buchman and Executive
Chef Lucia Francavella
393
00:16:40,627 --> 00:16:42,728
have brought to the
downtown eating scene
394
00:16:42,729 --> 00:16:44,796
a most welcome addition".
395
00:16:44,797 --> 00:16:46,232
- I'm...
- How about that?
396
00:16:46,233 --> 00:16:48,421
I'm so proud of you,
Splinky. No kidding.
397
00:16:53,306 --> 00:16:55,041
She says I've read
this thing so many times
398
00:16:55,042 --> 00:16:58,544
my eyes are gonna...
399
00:17:01,114 --> 00:17:03,949
Something about my eyes.
400
00:17:03,950 --> 00:17:06,985
Oh, I'm telling you,
Paulie, this woman...
401
00:17:06,986 --> 00:17:09,254
My God. And now this?
402
00:17:09,255 --> 00:17:11,456
I just... Oh, I just
feel so friggin' blessed
403
00:17:11,457 --> 00:17:14,927
that my life is so damn good.
404
00:17:14,928 --> 00:17:17,429
I'm sorry. I cut you off before.
405
00:17:17,430 --> 00:17:19,998
You were saying, tough day today, huh?
406
00:17:19,999 --> 00:17:22,300
Well, yeah, no, not the best morning.
407
00:17:22,301 --> 00:17:24,402
Uh... you know, Jamie's
taking it a bit...
408
00:17:24,403 --> 00:17:26,271
I don't know. I always
had this picture in my head
409
00:17:26,272 --> 00:17:29,274
that when Mabel...
410
00:17:33,412 --> 00:17:36,581
Mmm! My... Paulie!
411
00:17:36,582 --> 00:17:38,183
- You gotta taste this.
- It's okay.
412
00:17:38,184 --> 00:17:40,452
- You know what? I'm really not...
- No, no, no, no.
413
00:17:40,453 --> 00:17:41,953
- No, you know what? My...
- Just... just...
414
00:17:41,954 --> 00:17:45,356
My stomach's been... I can't even get...
415
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:47,092
Oh, that's pretty good.
416
00:17:49,995 --> 00:17:52,029
Muah!
417
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:55,133
Oh, my God. That woman.
418
00:17:55,134 --> 00:17:57,102
Ah, I'm sorry. Paulie, you were saying,
419
00:17:57,103 --> 00:17:59,504
- Mabel, James...
- Yeah, no.
420
00:17:59,505 --> 00:18:01,806
Just, nah, the way Jamie's acting is...
421
00:18:01,807 --> 00:18:04,542
You know, Mabel moving out,
it's brutal for both of us.
422
00:18:04,543 --> 00:18:06,344
But the way she's acting is... is...
423
00:18:06,345 --> 00:18:07,812
Paulie.
424
00:18:07,813 --> 00:18:09,447
It's her daughter. What do you expect?
425
00:18:09,448 --> 00:18:10,714
I understand. It's my daughter, too.
426
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,616
Yeah, but you're not the mother.
427
00:18:12,617 --> 00:18:14,518
Look, that... that child, that person
428
00:18:14,519 --> 00:18:15,885
who you saw leave home today,
429
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,854
that person came out of her body.
430
00:18:17,855 --> 00:18:20,491
That's the depth of the bond.
431
00:18:20,492 --> 00:18:22,292
Now, when you have a
person come out of you,
432
00:18:22,293 --> 00:18:23,659
then we can talk.
433
00:18:25,963 --> 00:18:28,198
Go to her, Paulie.
434
00:18:28,199 --> 00:18:29,466
When did this happen?
435
00:18:29,467 --> 00:18:31,835
When did you become, like, wise?
436
00:18:31,836 --> 00:18:33,170
I've always been wise.
437
00:18:33,171 --> 00:18:34,538
You know, I didn't show it a lot.
438
00:18:34,539 --> 00:18:36,259
I thought people might
find it off-putting.
439
00:18:37,434 --> 00:18:39,009
You're absolutely right.
All right, you know what?
440
00:18:39,010 --> 00:18:40,344
- I'm gonna get going.
- No, hey, hey.
441
00:18:40,345 --> 00:18:41,878
You gotta take some
pasta home for James.
442
00:18:41,879 --> 00:18:43,046
No, no, please. You know what, I got...
443
00:18:43,047 --> 00:18:44,180
- Paulie.
- No, no, no.
444
00:18:44,181 --> 00:18:45,481
The woman is in pain.
445
00:18:45,482 --> 00:18:47,183
She needs nurturing.
446
00:18:47,184 --> 00:18:49,585
I'll whip up something extra fantastico.
447
00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:52,155
- You just said go to her so...
- What, empty handed?
448
00:18:52,156 --> 00:18:54,758
Don't be a lunatic.
449
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,591
Okay.
450
00:19:26,590 --> 00:19:28,190
Honey?
451
00:19:32,262 --> 00:19:33,628
Sweetie?
452
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:38,400
James?
453
00:19:43,540 --> 00:19:45,240
I got pasta.
454
00:20:01,424 --> 00:20:03,157
I didn't mean to startle you.
455
00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:04,926
- Oh, really?
- Your room looks nice.
456
00:20:04,927 --> 00:20:06,228
Are you both just insane?
457
00:20:06,229 --> 00:20:07,653
I can't speak for your father,
458
00:20:07,654 --> 00:20:09,431
but as the person who
just broke your bed apart
459
00:20:09,432 --> 00:20:11,566
with my bare hands, possibly.
460
00:20:11,567 --> 00:20:13,901
- You broke my bed?
- Yes.
461
00:20:13,902 --> 00:20:15,173
It felt really good.
462
00:20:15,174 --> 00:20:17,606
But then I took a long
walk, and a deep breath
463
00:20:17,607 --> 00:20:20,408
and I want to apologize to you.
464
00:20:20,409 --> 00:20:24,479
The truth... it wasn't
really about the bed.
465
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,780
You think?
466
00:20:26,781 --> 00:20:30,284
You have a lot on your plate.
You didn't deserve that.
467
00:20:30,285 --> 00:20:32,919
So whatever happened before,
it wasn't you, it was me.
468
00:20:36,625 --> 00:20:39,192
Would you mind saying that again?
469
00:20:39,193 --> 00:20:41,961
It's not you, it's me.
470
00:20:45,433 --> 00:20:46,666
Thank you.
471
00:20:48,536 --> 00:20:52,806
Okay. I'm gonna go.
472
00:20:52,807 --> 00:20:56,109
- You don't have to.
- Mm.
473
00:20:56,110 --> 00:20:57,868
I'm gonna go.
474
00:20:57,869 --> 00:20:59,969
- Hello.
- Hi. How are you?
475
00:21:01,749 --> 00:21:04,215
That's my mom.
476
00:21:14,225 --> 00:21:15,625
How did... how did I miss you?
477
00:21:15,626 --> 00:21:17,208
She walked in right after you left.
478
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,695
What is with you guys?
479
00:21:18,696 --> 00:21:21,164
Hey, today has been a
little crazier than usual.
480
00:21:21,165 --> 00:21:23,066
- I got you pasta.
- No! No, come on.
481
00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:25,168
That's cold, now. Gimme.
482
00:21:25,169 --> 00:21:26,294
- No, that's really too many...
- I'll make you fresh.
483
00:21:26,295 --> 00:21:27,337
I'm really not hungry, but thank you.
484
00:21:27,338 --> 00:21:30,139
I got it.
485
00:21:30,140 --> 00:21:32,809
I'm glad you texted me,
'cause I went home, and...
486
00:21:32,810 --> 00:21:34,411
Did you see the bed?
487
00:21:34,412 --> 00:21:35,578
I did.
488
00:21:37,915 --> 00:21:40,216
I went over and apologized to Mabel.
489
00:21:40,217 --> 00:21:42,718
You went over there again?
490
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:44,854
Okay.
491
00:21:44,855 --> 00:21:46,735
You know how I said I
didn't remember Tahiti?
492
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:51,727
I remember Tahiti.
493
00:21:51,728 --> 00:21:53,496
Thank you. All right,
so I don't understand...
494
00:21:53,497 --> 00:21:55,831
I thought Mabel would grow up and leave
495
00:21:55,832 --> 00:21:58,367
and I could just go back
to being who I was before.
496
00:21:59,904 --> 00:22:02,170
I don't even remember who
that person is anymore.
497
00:22:03,673 --> 00:22:05,909
That's a lot of years we
just went through and...
498
00:22:05,910 --> 00:22:07,843
Okay, and I'll start with this, huh?
499
00:22:07,844 --> 00:22:09,178
You know what, we're really not hungry.
500
00:22:09,179 --> 00:22:10,679
Oh, just smell. Smell.
501
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,681
- Smells very good. Okay.
- Have a...
502
00:22:12,682 --> 00:22:14,850
Okay.
503
00:22:14,851 --> 00:22:17,286
I'm so tired.
504
00:22:17,287 --> 00:22:19,054
My brain is tired.
505
00:22:19,055 --> 00:22:21,223
My body doesn't work
the same way it used to.
506
00:22:21,224 --> 00:22:23,725
Everything hurts.
507
00:22:23,726 --> 00:22:25,460
You remember sex?
508
00:22:25,461 --> 00:22:28,363
Vaguely.
509
00:22:28,364 --> 00:22:30,523
Well, hey, if you wanna go
there, I am totally ready...
510
00:22:30,524 --> 00:22:32,267
If you think Tahiti means
a whole bunch of sex
511
00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:33,868
- right away...
- No, no, no,
512
00:22:33,869 --> 00:22:36,871
Tahiti does not mean sex.
Tahiti does not mean sex.
513
00:22:36,872 --> 00:22:38,773
Okay, maybe a little bit of sex.
514
00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:40,775
A smidgen.
515
00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:42,477
Yes, I would imagine some
sex would be involved.
516
00:22:42,478 --> 00:22:44,579
But you know what?
517
00:22:44,580 --> 00:22:47,048
You... you can't...
sweetie, you can't...
518
00:22:47,049 --> 00:22:48,783
you can't take it all on your shoulders.
519
00:22:48,784 --> 00:22:51,252
Listen, I'm not the
same guy I used to be.
520
00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:55,323
Sorry.
521
00:22:55,324 --> 00:22:58,059
You know, it... it's
just part of life, right?
522
00:22:58,060 --> 00:22:59,794
I mean, people get older.
523
00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:03,230
You can't... you can't expect
to have that same spark.
524
00:23:03,231 --> 00:23:05,333
You know, that's not possible.
525
00:23:05,334 --> 00:23:06,935
What about Ira?
526
00:23:06,936 --> 00:23:08,770
He's your age. Lucia's like my age.
527
00:23:08,771 --> 00:23:10,572
- Look at them.
- Okay.
528
00:23:10,573 --> 00:23:12,840
Totally different story.
529
00:23:12,841 --> 00:23:17,611
First of all, she's Italian.
So, you know, factor that in.
530
00:23:17,612 --> 00:23:19,513
You know what I'm
saying. But second of all,
531
00:23:19,514 --> 00:23:21,448
they've been together,
what, like a year and a half,
532
00:23:21,449 --> 00:23:22,683
- two years?
- Something like that.
533
00:23:22,684 --> 00:23:25,018
Yeah, so, they're rookies.
534
00:23:25,019 --> 00:23:26,753
You know... and, keep in mind,
535
00:23:26,754 --> 00:23:28,321
they're not... they're not married.
536
00:23:28,322 --> 00:23:30,657
That's... that's a
totally different story.
537
00:23:30,658 --> 00:23:32,993
So, what, we should get a divorce?
538
00:23:32,994 --> 00:23:36,997
If you think it'll help
the marriage, I would.
539
00:23:36,998 --> 00:23:41,201
Sweetie, I... you know,
there's no way around it.
540
00:23:41,202 --> 00:23:45,171
That... that great part of
our lives, you know, the...
541
00:23:45,172 --> 00:23:47,307
the little girl that
climbed into bed with us
542
00:23:47,308 --> 00:23:51,111
and we'd read stories
and carry her into bed...
543
00:23:51,112 --> 00:23:53,779
Or, you know, hold her hands
and swing her over the waves
544
00:23:53,780 --> 00:23:56,549
at the beach, and she'd
laugh herself silly,
545
00:23:56,550 --> 00:23:59,518
yeah, that... that kid is gone.
546
00:24:03,057 --> 00:24:05,557
She's the love of my life.
547
00:24:08,062 --> 00:24:09,294
I know.
548
00:24:16,495 --> 00:24:18,453
Wait a minute, you guys
haven't tasted that yet?
549
00:24:18,454 --> 00:24:21,047
Taste that! Your head's gonna explode.
550
00:24:21,048 --> 00:24:22,997
- All right.
- Come on, mangia, mangia.
551
00:24:22,998 --> 00:24:25,411
All righty. Mangia.
552
00:24:25,412 --> 00:24:27,079
Look at you two.
553
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,346
It's like "Lady and the Tramp".
554
00:24:30,949 --> 00:24:32,474
That's so funny that you would say...
555
00:24:32,475 --> 00:24:33,866
That's Mabel's favorite movie.
556
00:24:33,867 --> 00:24:35,655
- Who gave it to her?
- That was you?
557
00:24:35,656 --> 00:24:37,046
- Yeah.
- Oh.
558
00:24:37,047 --> 00:24:38,591
I mean, come on. The
dogs and the spaghetti.
559
00:24:38,592 --> 00:24:41,159
How do you beat that? Enjoy.
560
00:24:43,096 --> 00:24:45,205
You know we have to do
that now, don't you?
561
00:24:45,206 --> 00:24:46,398
What?
562
00:24:46,399 --> 00:24:48,500
The "Lady and the Tramp"
thing with the spaghetti.
563
00:24:48,501 --> 00:24:50,036
Ah, okay. Come here.
564
00:24:50,037 --> 00:24:51,336
You gotta... you gotta
find the long one,
565
00:24:51,337 --> 00:24:53,039
that's the trick to the whole thing.
566
00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,005
You gotta get an extra-long one.
567
00:24:59,079 --> 00:25:00,946
Why are we doing this?
568
00:25:00,947 --> 00:25:04,083
Because, as you may recall,
569
00:25:04,084 --> 00:25:05,684
when the dogs eat the
same piece of spaghetti,
570
00:25:05,685 --> 00:25:06,776
it pulls their lips together,
571
00:25:06,777 --> 00:25:08,187
and when the lips come
together, they kiss,
572
00:25:08,188 --> 00:25:11,223
and it's very nice.
573
00:25:11,224 --> 00:25:12,424
Yeah, all right. There you go.
574
00:25:12,425 --> 00:25:13,725
All right, that's something.
575
00:25:13,726 --> 00:25:15,961
Okay, so now you take one end of it...
576
00:25:15,962 --> 00:25:18,129
Not with a fork. You
ever see a dog use a fork?
577
00:25:20,032 --> 00:25:21,866
You take it in your hand.
578
00:25:21,867 --> 00:25:24,903
Okay, all right. So you
put it... there you go.
579
00:25:24,904 --> 00:25:26,538
Watch, I'm telling you, this'll work.
580
00:25:26,539 --> 00:25:28,540
You put it in your mouth.
581
00:25:28,541 --> 00:25:29,770
And you gotta look away. Don't look.
582
00:25:29,771 --> 00:25:31,235
See, you start looking away.
583
00:25:32,611 --> 00:25:34,544
Okay, you ready?
584
00:25:36,081 --> 00:25:37,414
Mm-hmm.
585
00:25:47,259 --> 00:25:50,260
What do you have in
like, a stronger noodle?
586
00:26:00,987 --> 00:26:02,287
What do you think? Home office?
587
00:26:02,288 --> 00:26:03,710
- Works for me.
- Yeah.
588
00:26:03,711 --> 00:26:06,211
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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