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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:20,754 Meow. 3 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,724 * Deck the halls with boughs of holly, * 4 00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:26,594 * fa la la la la la la la la... * 5 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:32,466 * This the season to be jolly, * 6 00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:34,735 * Don we now our... 7 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,404 Mmm, no. 8 00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,206 That song makes my tail hurt. 9 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,240 Deck the halls? 10 00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:48,082 Deck me in the face. 11 00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:49,517 * I want a hippop Now that's a Christmas song. 12 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:52,286 Hello, hi, how are you? 13 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,722 Welcome to Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Ever. 14 00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:56,624 The movie. 15 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,192 You don't have to watch it 16 00:00:58,226 --> 00:01:00,628 but I know you're going to, so. 17 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,464 If you do you might be treated to 18 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:06,234 high speed car chases. 19 00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:08,369 Meow, meow! 20 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,770 Out of my way buddy! 21 00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:10,504 Pull over, Grumpy! 22 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,806 We've got you surrounded. 23 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,276 Huge explosions. 24 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,278 Boom. 25 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,612 Bang. 26 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:20,448 That was huge. 27 00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:23,884 A hero in a leotard and cape who saves the world. 28 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,686 And who doesn't look like a puppet. 29 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:30,591 At all. 30 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:34,362 * Anyway, I only mention those things to get your hopes up. 31 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,730 That way I can enjoy your disappointment 32 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:40,701 when you realize this movie is just a sappy melodrama 33 00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:44,472 mostly about me, Grumpy Cat. 34 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:54,548 You're welcome. 35 00:01:54,548 --> 00:02:04,558 You're welcome. 36 00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,484 God, this is already annoying. 37 00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:33,721 Anyway, our terrible story begins here. 38 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:37,825 At this big thing called a mall. 39 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:40,928 It's a soul sucking bastion of consumerism 40 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:44,198 which serves to drain people's bank accounts 41 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:47,401 and alienate them from the true meaning of life. 42 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:49,670 In other words I love it. 43 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,339 Look at me, see? 44 00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:52,740 See? Can't you tell that I love it? 45 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,542 I love it because it's evil, okay? 46 00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:58,946 This is where I call home. 47 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:12,726 Customer! 48 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:13,461 Customer! 49 00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:14,262 Customer! 50 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,429 Choose me! Choose me! 51 00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:16,664 I never get chosen. 52 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:17,931 Grovelers. 53 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,733 They all think some human is going to walk in here 54 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:21,835 and purchase one of them. 55 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:22,936 Ha! 56 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,639 Welcome to Whiskers, where the animals don't bite... 57 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,275 Unless provoked. 58 00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:28,676 Humph! 59 00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:31,912 Over here, pick me! 60 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,615 Don't buy into the hype about snakes! 61 00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:35,616 That's Carla. 62 00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:37,618 The happiest snake on the planet. 63 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,721 So, you know, already not a big fan. 64 00:03:40,754 --> 00:03:42,590 I am totally cool, promise. 65 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:43,424 Hey lady! 66 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,592 Over here! 67 00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:45,793 I'm cuter! 68 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,296 Plus I chew chair legs, shoes, leather purses. 69 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,997 Darn, almost had her. 70 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,532 That's Jacky. 71 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,867 He's super hyper and super annoying, 72 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:56,470 plus he's a dog, so... 73 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:58,005 I don't like him. 74 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,973 You can ignore them, madam. 75 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,410 I'm well bred and well read. 76 00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,811 I can even talk. 77 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,513 Hands in the air, sucker! 78 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,281 So, that's Wilson. 79 00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,582 A very stupid parrot. 80 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:11,785 Oh, did I mention that I'm easy to clean up after? 81 00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:14,622 All I require is a newspaper subscription for the mess 82 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,357 I make in my cage. 83 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,791 Wait, where are you going? 84 00:04:17,825 --> 00:04:19,327 Oh drat. 85 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,728 Not going to happen, people. 86 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,929 We're all going to die in here. 87 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,398 Hey, check out this spin class of one, lady! 88 00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:25,833 See these hamster hamstrings? 89 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:28,636 They're like sinewy pistons of steel. 90 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,837 That's Lance. 91 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,940 He looks like a rat but I guess he's a gerbil, 92 00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,309 a gym rat gerbil. 93 00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:36,744 Woo, work it down, work it up! 94 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,945 Take it up, work it back! 95 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,313 Work it down, work it up! 96 00:04:39,347 --> 00:04:40,781 Take it up, work it back! 97 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,516 Me, I don't want to leave. 98 00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,885 I'm grumpy right where I am. 99 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:48,055 Better not to get your hopes up. 100 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,424 Told you, she's just buying fish food. 101 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,460 Grumpy, you are a jerk. 102 00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,528 And you, honey, are delusional. 103 00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:57,465 At least we weren't returned twice like you, Grumpy. 104 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,732 Twice. 105 00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:00,334 All she does is frown. 106 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:01,802 And all he does is whine about it, 107 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:02,936 am I right mom? 108 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:06,774 She does seem a little grumpy. 109 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,610 Can I trade her for a fish? 110 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,044 As if that bothered me. 111 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,347 I never even think about those people. 112 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:14,648 I'm a superstar. 113 00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:21,789 * 114 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:25,793 Super model, super dog, super hair, super fur. 115 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:29,730 * 116 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:32,700 Oh, I just love me. 117 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:33,667 What the heck are you? 118 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,769 A science experiment gone bad? 119 00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:38,071 More like a science experiment gone right. 120 00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:41,875 Check out my beautiful locks, they flow like a waterfall. 121 00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,511 Woosh! 122 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,379 Freak. 123 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:46,013 Customer! 124 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,047 Customer! 125 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,082 I'm available! 126 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,050 Customer, over here! 127 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,386 Choose me, choose me! 128 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,555 Hi, you must be Marcus. 129 00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:56,056 I'm Gill Brockman, your new mall rep. 130 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,324 What can I do for you? 131 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,394 There's just the small matter of your rent being in arrears, 132 00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:01,762 deadbeat. 133 00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:04,965 Uh, did you just call me a deadbeat? 134 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,800 Deadbeat? No, of course not. 135 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,671 Loser. 136 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,540 Okay, now I heard you call me a loser. 137 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,807 Why would I call you that? 138 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,476 I don't know. 139 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,711 Because you haven't met your financial obligations 140 00:06:17,745 --> 00:06:20,013 in a timely manner and I'm going to evict you? 141 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,248 Wait, what? 142 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,617 Are you saying I could lose my terrible home? 143 00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:25,619 Gill, I can assure you I will have your money 144 00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:26,887 by the day after tomorrow. 145 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,456 Thank you, Marcus. 146 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,623 You're a saviour. 147 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:34,695 You are seriously behind, how do you plan to do that? 148 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,763 You see this cat? 149 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:36,830 Who, me? 150 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,165 I plan to make her the most famous internet meme 151 00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,767 of all time. 152 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,636 Work it, show me sexy. 153 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,638 Now show me danger, just like that. 154 00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:46,540 Show me fierce. 155 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:47,775 Jubilation. 156 00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:48,842 Overjoyed. 157 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:51,779 You're a little girl on a spring day. 158 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,180 Sushi. 159 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:56,850 Lots of sushi. 160 00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,051 I'm a natural. 161 00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:00,488 All we need is a picture of Grumpy saying something like 162 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,823 uh I had fun once, it was awful. 163 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,092 I mean, you put that on the internet thingamabob 164 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,660 and that is sure to go viral. 165 00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,529 Her face will launch a thousand products. 166 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,930 Everything from t-shirts to coffee mugs. 167 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:16,470 After that, TV appearances and oh, I don't know, maybe 168 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:19,139 a Lifetime movie. 169 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,241 You are a genius! 170 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,043 Like any of that would really happen. 171 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,845 Me? Become an internet celebrity? 172 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,814 I mean, wouldn't I need to have some sort of talent 173 00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,015 like this guy? 174 00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:33,153 * 175 00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:36,089 Or this weirdo? 176 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:39,026 Or whatever this is? 177 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,028 Yeah, I can't do any of that stuff. 178 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,931 So, I'm revising the previous scene, okay? 179 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:49,503 You are seriously behind, how do you plan to do that? 180 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,204 With this dog. 181 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,506 Hi there. 182 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,041 Oh, is that what you are. 183 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,510 He just happens to be the most expensive Leonberger 184 00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:57,678 in the world. 185 00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,547 Let that sink in, kitty cat. 186 00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:01,281 Someone would actually pay for you? 187 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,883 He's worth a million dollars, whoops. 188 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,151 Shut the front door. 189 00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:05,619 Shut the back door too. 190 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:06,854 Shut all the doors. 191 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,889 A million? Really? 192 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,290 With an M? 193 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,060 That sounds like a MacGuffin to me, whatever that means. 194 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,595 I call that a bargain. 195 00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,897 I should be worth a billion, with a B. 196 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:17,831 Buh. 197 00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:18,699 I've got a buyer and guess what that money 198 00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:21,301 is going to put me back in the black. 199 00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,538 Why didn't you say that in the first place? 200 00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:28,308 I think the words you're looking for are thank you. 201 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,509 Yeah, the press are coming by this afternoon 202 00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:34,548 and they're doing a big story on how he saved Whiskers. 203 00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:35,515 Yeah. 204 00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:38,285 Then I guess we have nothing else to discuss. 205 00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:39,252 Too de loo. 206 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,654 Merry Christmas! 207 00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,055 Loser. 208 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:43,190 What did you say? 209 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,257 What did I say? 210 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,827 Merry Christmas, sir. 211 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,128 Merry Christmas. 212 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,001 Deadbeat. 213 00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,007 Um, we didn't formally meet. 214 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:00,774 I'm Jo-Jo. 215 00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:03,276 Oh, my name is I don't care. 216 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,013 Oh, yes. 217 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:09,950 Wait a minute, that thing gets the prime real estate? 218 00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,019 Oh, this is where I belong. 219 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,655 In the spotlight for all to see. 220 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,189 Go ahead, feel free to take photos. 221 00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,190 Selfies are extra. 222 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,792 What am I, tuna tartare? 223 00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,227 I've never had that spot. 224 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,662 And I've been here the longest! 225 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,831 Maybe it's because you don't smile. 226 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,966 Brat. 227 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,969 Time to meet our awful movie's heroine. 228 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,370 There she is, look at her. 229 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,172 Hahaha! 230 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:34,074 With second billing behind me, 231 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:37,210 Aubrey Plaza as Grumpy Cat. 232 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,179 This is Crystal. 233 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:42,249 Humanity's last hope on a dying planet. 234 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,384 Oh, I'm sorry, too much? 235 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:48,055 Alright, she's an evolved organism with a heart of gold. 236 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:51,124 My least favourite trait but facts are facts. 237 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:54,094 And this story is nothing if not factual. 238 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:57,831 You know, like Santa Claus. 239 00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:58,866 Hey Roger! 240 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:01,835 Hello Crystal! 241 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:02,736 You're fat. 242 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,337 You're not exactly anorexic. 243 00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:07,040 Ho, ho, ho, ho. 244 00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,375 Yo Mat, what's up? 245 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,810 Living the dream. 246 00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:10,878 Hey Monica. 247 00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,680 Hey Crystal, how was school today? 248 00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,349 Ola, Alejandro. 249 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,051 Como estas? 250 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,219 Feliz Navidad! 251 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:26,159 Here's your turkey and swiss, Wiffledorf. 252 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:29,797 I will be Jesse again in a few hours when I get off work. 253 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:33,066 Oh, you'll always be Wiffledorf to me. 254 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,001 Ouch. 255 00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:36,203 Speaking of which my feet are killing me. 256 00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:37,905 Any chance you can use your in with Santa 257 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,973 to get mama a new pair of shoes for Christmas? 258 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:43,143 Blah, blah, blah, b-story, not my line, not my line, 259 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,244 not my line. 260 00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:45,478 Meow. 261 00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:48,181 I would but Santa and I are not on speaking terms right now. 262 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,116 What? Why? 263 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,183 Guy's a slave driver. 264 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,184 Always on our backs. 265 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:53,120 You would not believe the working conditions. 266 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:53,987 Really? 267 00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:55,756 Two words. Sweat shop. 268 00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:58,826 So, I've actually led a revolt to unionize the North Pole. 269 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,227 Will you get it worked out before Christmas? 270 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,696 I hope so. 271 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:03,897 For the tots. 272 00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:05,966 Dude, are you ever going to eat that sandwich? 273 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,334 Mmm, is that turkey? 274 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,236 But that's not to say that a certain little elf 275 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:12,105 wouldn't love to build you a new pair while he's on strike. 276 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:13,206 Be careful flirting with me. 277 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,407 Last time that happened it ended 278 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:17,010 in a spectacularly awful divorce. 279 00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,211 Huh. 280 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:23,083 Have you given any more thought to the party tonight? 281 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,351 Everyone's coming. 282 00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,053 You mean, like the other elves? 283 00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,420 The Cinnabon crew? 284 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,856 That's exactly who I mean. 285 00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,924 All the cool kids. 286 00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:33,794 Come on, stupid Christmas games, ugly sweater contest. 287 00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:36,396 Oh, just say yes already mom. 288 00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:39,232 The poor guy's been trying to ask you out for a month. 289 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,204 Alright. 290 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,072 Yes! 291 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,106 I'll go. 292 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,908 But only if you come with me. 293 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:48,842 Ulgh! 294 00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:52,479 Fine. 295 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:56,083 But don't try and pull anything, I'll be watching. 296 00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:56,884 Crystal. 297 00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,318 I've got to go I'm late for work. 298 00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,053 Hang on. 299 00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:03,223 We talked about you making some friends at your new school. 300 00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,491 How's that going? 301 00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:08,095 Great, today I totally nodded to the girls locker next to mine. 302 00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,129 Does that count? 303 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,131 Totally try harder. 304 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,867 Okay. Can I go now? 305 00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,806 Isn't she a little young to have a job? 306 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:19,973 Oh, that's just what she calls it. 307 00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,809 She's helping out at the pet store. 308 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,510 I just wish she hung out with some actual people 309 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,012 for a change you know. 310 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,947 One's her own age preferably. 311 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,549 Probably just needs time. 312 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:33,020 This will be her first Christmas without seeing her dad. 313 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:34,988 Ah. 314 00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:37,224 The dirtbag. 315 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,127 Don't forget your sweater. 316 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,061 Meow. 317 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,398 Oh yeah, when I smell it it makes me feel like 318 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,000 I'm actually in Paris. 319 00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:49,202 It's our most popular seller. 320 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,071 And then there's George. 321 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,474 AKA the Ladykiller. 322 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:59,947 Well, if only I had a special lady friend to give it to I... 323 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:03,283 Hey, did you hear about my latest bust? 324 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,484 No, sorry. 325 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:05,819 What, are you kidding? 326 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,187 Everyone's talking about it! 327 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,521 Oh yeah, the perp was 14 but he was big. 328 00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:10,457 I mean, he had you know man muscles. 329 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:14,027 Obviously he pumped iron, of course so do I. 330 00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,429 Anyway, something about his behaviour didn't add up 331 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:19,499 he was lingering around the fancy jean section too long 332 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,869 and between you and me he didn't look like the kind of kid 333 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:23,370 who could afford them. 334 00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,938 Is that profiling? 335 00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:26,139 Well, maybe. Did it work this time? 336 00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:27,307 You bet your butt it did. 337 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,508 Well, the minute those jeans went 338 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:29,776 into the knapsack it was on. 339 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:33,146 I mean, he tried to get away but obviously I'm pretty agile so. 340 00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:37,384 George, thanks for visiting but I need to take my break. 341 00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,318 Oh yeah. 342 00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:39,386 Oh, sure of course hey man 343 00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:40,921 you've been on your feet all day. 344 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,856 I'll go prevent some crime. 345 00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:44,858 Okay. Okay. 346 00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,194 No rascal today, George? 347 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,129 Hey, Crystal. 348 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,565 How many times have I told you it is an ARV 349 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,968 or for those people not in the biz, 350 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:58,171 : Asset Recovery Vehicle. 351 00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:00,908 But don't you need it to chase bad guys? 352 00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,575 I'm leveling the playing field. 353 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,912 Let them think they have a chance. 354 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,113 But we know they don't! 355 00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:07,847 That's right. 356 00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:14,621 * You want that money baby, 357 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,523 * that's right you know who got it. * 358 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:20,493 * Got so much money baby, can't even close my wallet. * 359 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:22,462 * Hanging on Sunset daily 360 00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,965 * yeah I can take you shopping... * 361 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,333 Hi! 362 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,367 I'm Crystal. 363 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,969 We have fifth period together? 364 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,038 So? 365 00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:32,472 Well, I was thinking we could maybe put together 366 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,974 like a study group or something. 367 00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,242 It could be a lot of fun. 368 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:36,576 Yeah, that sounds awesome. 369 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:39,179 I'll definitely RSVP no to that. 370 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,281 Do we look like a bunch of nerds? 371 00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:42,415 What a dork. 372 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:45,185 As if we actually need to get smarter. 373 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,653 Ah, the youth. 374 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:49,356 They'd better hope to marry rich. 375 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,058 And then there's Zach and Donny, 376 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,993 the future of our great country. 377 00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,127 Think she'll like it, Zach? 378 00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,029 As if you value my opinion. 379 00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:58,131 God help us all. 380 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,535 It's band issues. 381 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,305 It's nice, I just can't have the fiancee of Dragon Tail's 382 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:09,076 lead singer wearing something so... 383 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,143 Dainty? 384 00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:11,244 Yeah, dainty. 385 00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:12,412 Dainty! 386 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,017 Show me the biggest rock you got. 387 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:20,253 We did just sign a major recording contract. 388 00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:21,554 * You know you want it! 389 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,190 * You know I got it! 390 00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,092 * This ain't no - 391 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,127 Dude! We're in the middle of a thing! 392 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,495 Oh, you don't like my singing? 393 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:29,596 Surprise, surprise. 394 00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:30,730 Now is really not the time, Zach. 395 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,432 I have just the thing. 396 00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,367 And it's big. 397 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:41,108 It's 8,000. 398 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,276 That's it? 399 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,412 Well, we're not exactly Tiffany's. 400 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,688 Dude, what is with all the angst? 401 00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,158 I wanted to be the one pretending to get married. 402 00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,526 But everything has to be your way, 403 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,694 just like what songs we sing in the garage. 404 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:04,331 Because I'm the frontman with the golden voice. 405 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,666 * Yeah! 406 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:09,602 And you're the bass player with the fat fingers. 407 00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:11,271 I do not have fat fingers. 408 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,672 Anybody can do this. 409 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:13,706 Oh, that's me? 410 00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:14,941 Oh, you're doing me right now? 411 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:18,111 Oh, yeah well no one shreds killer base solos the way I do. 412 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,079 Pow! 413 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,180 * Boom, boom, boom, boom! 414 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,082 * Boom boom! 415 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,284 * Yeah! 416 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:28,155 * What! 417 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,423 Never mind. 418 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:31,591 Good luck trying to find someone 419 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,726 who can do that on our upcoming tour. 420 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:34,694 Hello. 421 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:35,895 There's not going to be a tour. 422 00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,464 We hit that jewelry store we're looking at 50 G's tops. 423 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,099 You can't get a bus with that. 424 00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,333 Well, how are we going to bring our music 425 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,368 to our audiences? 426 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,636 Did you ever in your wildest imagination think 427 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,506 that a dog would be worth one million dollars? 428 00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:50,443 Well, a Leonberger this rare and with championship bloodlines 429 00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:53,413 well that makes it truly one of a kind. 430 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,317 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 431 00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:03,156 Yeah, that's one trippy looking dog. 432 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,257 Hey, want to see him run? 433 00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:05,492 Oh, we'd love to see him run. 434 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,726 Come on. 435 00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:09,796 There you go folks, this is a million dollars running down 436 00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:11,164 a hallway. 437 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:31,684 Meanwhile, Crystal found herself wandering amid the shoppers, 438 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,787 past the kiosks, hoping to make sense of what it is 439 00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:38,791 to be a little girl who though gentle and kind to all 440 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,328 is shunned by her peers. 441 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:44,164 I think somebody could use a caramel machiatto 442 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:45,765 with extra whip. 443 00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:55,175 Well, that sounded like the weight of the world. 444 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,276 You're not Roger. 445 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,544 What gave it away? 446 00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:03,783 I know, I'm just filling in for him while he picks up his mom 447 00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,318 from the airport. 448 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,554 The sleighs in the shop. 449 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,590 I usually work Westbrook Mall but you know, 450 00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,759 us Santa's try and help each other out. 451 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,527 Well, it's nice to know that you Santa's of the world 452 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,796 are still decent to your fellow human beings. 453 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,798 Wow, that's depressing. 454 00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:22,135 Where's your Christmas spirit? 455 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:24,337 Some people are mean for no reason. 456 00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:26,606 And they get a lump of coal in their stocking. 457 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,142 Luckily, people like you get special compensation 458 00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:32,512 from people like me this time of year. 459 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,781 Is that chocolate? 460 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:37,584 No, are you kidding me? 461 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,552 That's a magical Christmas coin. 462 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:42,822 I hand them out to people who would otherwise 463 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,857 have a crappy Christmas. 464 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:50,630 I buy them online from magicalchristmascoins.co.uk/canz.com 465 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,736 Because this is so much better than a sweet computer. 466 00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:57,704 Yes. 467 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:58,571 Or a bike? 468 00:18:58,605 --> 00:18:59,739 That is correct. 469 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:00,840 Or anything? 470 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,742 Duh. Infinitely better. 471 00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,245 Look. Make a Christmas wish. 472 00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:09,249 All you do is you make a wish and you toss it into a fountain. 473 00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:10,417 Any fountain will do. 474 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:12,619 You could use a toilet bowl in a pinch. 475 00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,521 Does that work? 476 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:15,655 Yeah, it's a wishing well. 477 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:18,725 Should work just fine. 478 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,793 Thanks but I don't really... 479 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:23,763 Believe in mall Santa Claus's? 480 00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,632 That's not to say that I judge you for wanting 481 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,634 to make a little extra money over the holidays. 482 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,969 Look, you don't have to believe in me 483 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,271 but what you do have to do is 484 00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:33,406 put your wish out into the universe. 485 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,775 You can't claim it if you can't name it! 486 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,710 I got that from the Easter Bunny. 487 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,679 Or is it Tooth Fairy? 488 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,548 Whatever, it was at a convention. 489 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,984 Anyway, what do you say, Crystal? 490 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,287 How did you know my name? 491 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,888 Lets just say your name's on the list. 492 00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:51,691 Did Jesse put you up to this? 493 00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:55,862 Look, wish first then coin. 494 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:58,231 That's what it says in the instruction booklet. 495 00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:00,333 Oh, and if your wish rhymes 496 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:02,702 you get extra Christmas mojo. 497 00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:03,970 That's really corny. 498 00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:05,438 Corny's good. 499 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,440 Corny's my stock and trade. 500 00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:09,442 I do corny very well. 501 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:13,346 Just give it a try. 502 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,847 You do realize this is just a little girl 503 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,849 humouring an old man right? 504 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:20,720 That's awesome. 505 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,989 For my Christmas wish I wish... 506 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:25,592 I wish I'd meet a friend, 507 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:30,229 one who listens to me and on whom I can depend. 508 00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:35,302 Happy? 509 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,804 Santa dude? 510 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,711 I can see you right there. 511 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,045 No you can't. 512 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:46,946 Yes I can. 513 00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,515 No, it's not me. 514 00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:49,849 I'm magical. 515 00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:51,551 Dumb. 516 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,987 Never works. 517 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:10,370 Customer! Customer! 518 00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:11,971 Customer! 519 00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,540 Bird for sale! 520 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:14,807 Customer! 521 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:19,579 Hey Grumpy. 522 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,514 Hey hey, I like those boots girl. 523 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,916 Yeah, you looking good. 524 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,021 Oh, very funny Corben. 525 00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:30,256 Oh, hey Crystal. 526 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,725 Yeah, he's here for the rest of the week folks so come on by. 527 00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:34,927 I've got a really big sale on hamsters and snakes, 528 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,463 although not necessarily together though 529 00:21:36,496 --> 00:21:38,798 because that would be bad for the hamster. 530 00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:41,033 You wouldn't really eat me, would you Carla? 531 00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,335 But of course not. 532 00:21:42,369 --> 00:21:43,736 I am a gopher snake. 533 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,638 You look nothing like a gopher. 534 00:21:45,672 --> 00:21:46,906 Really? 535 00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:49,742 Phew, that's good to know. 536 00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:52,645 Alright. Thanks! 537 00:21:52,679 --> 00:21:53,446 Customer! 538 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,447 Customer! 539 00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:55,982 Over here! 540 00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:57,417 Hey, Mr. Crabtree. 541 00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:59,486 Hey Crystal, say hello to Jo-Jo. 542 00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:00,653 Hey boy. 543 00:22:00,687 --> 00:22:01,888 He's beautiful, isn't he? 544 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:02,789 Beautiful? 545 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:05,124 On what planet, Planet Ugly? 546 00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:06,693 Meow. 547 00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,828 Yeah, he's also got a buyer which means 548 00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:11,831 Whiskers will be staying open for a long time to come. 549 00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:14,701 You know, if it wasn't for him we would be out of business. 550 00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:16,469 You're a superhero, Jo-Jo. 551 00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:19,706 Yeah, he's the best thing to happen to me in a long time. 552 00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,674 I'm not going to lie to you, 553 00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:23,476 it's been hard since I lost my Shirley. 554 00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:27,046 She was my rock, my world, my everything. 555 00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:32,919 Truth is I, uh, I've neglected this place. 556 00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:34,921 But it's only because I've been in so much pain. 557 00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,690 Ugh, I'm in so much pain listening to your sob story 558 00:22:37,724 --> 00:22:39,426 I wish you'd put me to sleep. 559 00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:40,693 This is animal cruelty. 560 00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:42,795 Do the humane thing, give me the gas. 561 00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:45,532 Who is saying that? 562 00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:46,799 Saying what? 563 00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:49,536 I thought I heard somebody say that they were in so much pain 564 00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:50,903 from listening to your sob story 565 00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:54,040 that they wanted to be put to sleep. 566 00:22:54,073 --> 00:22:55,942 Huh. 567 00:22:55,975 --> 00:22:57,744 Well, forgive me for sharing. 568 00:22:57,777 --> 00:22:58,678 No, I didn't mean! 569 00:22:58,711 --> 00:22:59,912 I mean, I didn't say. 570 00:22:59,946 --> 00:23:03,583 Excuse me, I need to go find a suitable carrier for Jo-Jo. 571 00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:05,552 Made of gold I presume? 572 00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:06,719 Meow. 573 00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:14,961 It's you! 574 00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:16,028 Who, me? 575 00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:17,163 Say that again. 576 00:23:17,196 --> 00:23:19,499 Okay, I don't know what's happening here 577 00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:20,967 but I don't like it. 578 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,635 You are talking to me. 579 00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:24,471 What are you, some kind of blond witch? 580 00:23:24,504 --> 00:23:25,872 You can't understand me! 581 00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:27,106 I heard all of that. 582 00:23:27,139 --> 00:23:27,840 No you didn't! 583 00:23:27,874 --> 00:23:28,941 Yes, I did! 584 00:23:28,975 --> 00:23:29,642 Well, stop it! 585 00:23:29,676 --> 00:23:30,643 You stop it! 586 00:23:30,677 --> 00:23:31,844 You stop it, witch! 587 00:23:31,878 --> 00:23:34,113 Are you having a conversation with the girl? 588 00:23:34,146 --> 00:23:35,682 Tell her I'm available. 589 00:23:35,715 --> 00:23:37,116 And apparently on sale. 590 00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:40,553 Ooh, let her know I'll repeat any stupid thing she wants. 591 00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:41,654 My skin sheds! 592 00:23:41,688 --> 00:23:42,655 Will you shut up! 593 00:23:42,689 --> 00:23:43,890 You shut up! 594 00:23:48,227 --> 00:23:49,662 It's cool. 595 00:23:49,696 --> 00:23:51,197 I talk to the bird. 596 00:23:51,230 --> 00:23:52,699 Hands in the air, sucker! 597 00:23:52,732 --> 00:23:54,133 Hands in the air, sucker! 598 00:23:54,166 --> 00:23:55,334 Yeah. 599 00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:59,472 I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to them. 600 00:23:59,506 --> 00:24:03,543 Wait, you can talk to the animals too? 601 00:24:03,576 --> 00:24:04,944 Ugh, don't act high and mighty 602 00:24:04,977 --> 00:24:07,647 just because you're at the top of the food chain, honey. 603 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:08,715 But I can only hear you. 604 00:24:08,748 --> 00:24:10,550 Well, that's a good thing, trust me. 605 00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:12,685 I'm the only one worth listening to. 606 00:24:12,719 --> 00:24:14,687 They're all very stupid and annoying. 607 00:24:14,721 --> 00:24:15,688 I'm not annoying. 608 00:24:15,722 --> 00:24:17,790 I'm awesome, and full of energy! 609 00:24:17,824 --> 00:24:19,492 I can play non-stop for hours and hours 610 00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:20,693 and hours and hours! 611 00:24:20,727 --> 00:24:22,128 Oh God, calm down. 612 00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:28,701 Whoa, whoa, whoa, watch the fur! 613 00:24:28,735 --> 00:24:29,769 Meow. 614 00:24:29,802 --> 00:24:31,137 Okay Grumpy Cat, why can I suddenly understand you? 615 00:24:31,170 --> 00:24:32,505 Um, why are you asking me? 616 00:24:32,539 --> 00:24:36,042 You think I want people knowing how I really feel about them? 617 00:24:36,075 --> 00:24:38,745 Believe me, that's the last thing I would wish for. 618 00:24:38,778 --> 00:24:40,947 Wish. 619 00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:43,282 I tossed a magic coin into a wishing well and made a wish! 620 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:44,717 Okay, I'm embarrassed for you. 621 00:24:44,751 --> 00:24:45,852 You are a loser. 622 00:24:45,885 --> 00:24:47,620 But I wanted a person, not a cat. 623 00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:51,023 Hey, look at the freak having a conversation 624 00:24:51,057 --> 00:24:53,125 with the little kitty. 625 00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:55,595 Having a nice chat with your cat? 626 00:24:58,765 --> 00:25:01,133 Oh, you rhymed chat with cat. 627 00:25:01,167 --> 00:25:02,201 Very smart. 628 00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:04,871 Except you're terrible human beings. 629 00:25:04,904 --> 00:25:05,805 Meow. 630 00:25:09,642 --> 00:25:10,610 I need to talk to Santa. 631 00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:13,012 There's a line and no cutsies, North Pole... 632 00:25:13,045 --> 00:25:14,681 Policy... 633 00:25:14,714 --> 00:25:15,782 A Porsche? 634 00:25:15,815 --> 00:25:17,717 A real Porsche? 635 00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:20,753 Roger? 636 00:25:20,787 --> 00:25:22,555 What's up? I have customers. 637 00:25:22,589 --> 00:25:24,190 Yeah, he's got customers. 638 00:25:24,223 --> 00:25:29,662 And we're not going anywhere until he hears our entire list. 639 00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:33,933 : Us Santa's try and help each other out. 640 00:25:33,966 --> 00:25:35,568 But Roger, I thought you had to pick up your mom 641 00:25:35,602 --> 00:25:37,203 at the airport for the holidays? 642 00:25:37,236 --> 00:25:39,238 Actually, I live with my mom. 643 00:25:39,271 --> 00:25:40,239 So do we. 644 00:25:40,272 --> 00:25:42,241 She's a really good cook. 645 00:25:42,274 --> 00:25:44,243 You don't have to believe in me but what you do have to do 646 00:25:44,276 --> 00:25:48,114 is put your wish out into the universe. 647 00:25:48,147 --> 00:25:52,719 Roger, do you know the Santa from the Westbrook Mall? 648 00:25:52,752 --> 00:25:55,588 Westbrook closed awhile ago for renovations. 649 00:25:55,622 --> 00:25:56,856 Everyone knows that. 650 00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:58,725 Are you dumb or something? 651 00:25:58,758 --> 00:26:00,893 : Haha! She's dumb! 652 00:26:02,328 --> 00:26:05,164 I hate my life. 653 00:26:05,197 --> 00:26:09,636 Crystal had been mesmerized by a magic talking 654 00:26:09,669 --> 00:26:11,971 distractingly beautiful cat, 655 00:26:12,004 --> 00:26:15,908 whose telepathic communications not only troubled her young mind 656 00:26:15,942 --> 00:26:19,145 but also drew her like a moth to a flame. 657 00:26:19,178 --> 00:26:22,682 Back to the origins of this great mystery. 658 00:26:22,715 --> 00:26:25,051 Problem is she also promised to go 659 00:26:25,084 --> 00:26:27,286 to Jesse's stupid Christmas party. 660 00:26:30,289 --> 00:26:33,125 Oooh... No! 661 00:26:33,159 --> 00:26:35,027 Tabby, Handerpants! 662 00:26:35,061 --> 00:26:36,896 You know you want them. 663 00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:38,698 One of a kind! 664 00:26:38,731 --> 00:26:40,867 No shower gel dispenser! 665 00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:42,134 No! 666 00:26:42,168 --> 00:26:43,335 No. 667 00:26:46,305 --> 00:26:50,843 Oh, I'm going to have to go with the fruitcake! 668 00:26:55,414 --> 00:26:59,652 Nice get, but you completely missed these. 669 00:26:59,686 --> 00:27:04,423 My awesome set of seaworthy salt and pepper shakers. 670 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,926 You dog, you were hiding those. 671 00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:08,895 Hell no, Jesse. 672 00:27:08,928 --> 00:27:10,096 Salt and pepper shakers. 673 00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:11,130 What? 674 00:27:15,001 --> 00:27:17,069 The price of greed, my friend. 675 00:27:17,103 --> 00:27:19,105 Come to me, Crystal. 676 00:27:19,138 --> 00:27:22,008 You are powerless to resist me. 677 00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:23,409 Meow. 678 00:27:23,442 --> 00:27:24,276 Your turn, Jesse. 679 00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:25,945 I'm just going to take that fruitcake. 680 00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:27,213 Oh, you wouldn't! 681 00:27:27,246 --> 00:27:28,047 I did. 682 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,416 All's fair, all's fair. 683 00:27:30,449 --> 00:27:31,751 You don't even like fruitcake. 684 00:27:31,784 --> 00:27:34,053 Nobody likes fruitcake, just come on. 685 00:27:34,086 --> 00:27:34,954 Let it go. 686 00:27:34,987 --> 00:27:36,022 Fine. 687 00:27:36,055 --> 00:27:37,256 Handerpants, please. 688 00:28:16,128 --> 00:28:18,831 Why are the Cinnabon employees always the last to leave? 689 00:28:18,865 --> 00:28:19,932 Because they're up all night 690 00:28:19,966 --> 00:28:22,034 making those delicious sticky buns. 691 00:28:22,068 --> 00:28:23,335 Oh. 692 00:28:31,077 --> 00:28:33,045 They should really lock this. 693 00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:35,247 Yeah, but then we wouldn't be able to - 694 00:28:35,281 --> 00:28:37,316 Stop. 695 00:28:37,349 --> 00:28:39,051 Okay. 696 00:28:44,090 --> 00:28:45,324 Grumpy! 697 00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,028 Grumpy! 698 00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:49,929 Meow! 699 00:28:51,998 --> 00:28:53,232 Did I scare you? 700 00:28:53,265 --> 00:28:54,500 What gave it away? 701 00:28:54,533 --> 00:28:57,970 My scream of sheer terror or the puddle of pee? 702 00:28:58,004 --> 00:28:59,505 And lower your voice, 703 00:28:59,538 --> 00:29:01,874 I don't want those other freaks to wake up. 704 00:29:13,485 --> 00:29:14,787 Don't even think about it. 705 00:29:14,821 --> 00:29:16,288 Yeah, Paul Blart! 706 00:29:16,322 --> 00:29:18,057 Oh! Oh! 707 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,026 Oh! No! 708 00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:23,830 You're making a big mistake! 709 00:29:23,863 --> 00:29:25,397 Where are the master keys? 710 00:29:25,431 --> 00:29:26,866 I will never tell. 711 00:29:26,899 --> 00:29:31,270 We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. 712 00:29:31,303 --> 00:29:32,504 Oh, hey lets do it the easy way. 713 00:29:32,538 --> 00:29:34,140 They're right on the hook over there. 714 00:29:34,173 --> 00:29:36,008 Oh, is it these ones? 715 00:29:37,243 --> 00:29:40,446 That sounds a lot like yes so I'm going to go with that. 716 00:29:45,084 --> 00:29:46,285 * You know you want it! 717 00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:47,353 * You know I got it! 718 00:29:47,386 --> 00:29:49,088 * This ain't no... 719 00:29:49,121 --> 00:29:50,890 Haha, you were great man. 720 00:29:50,923 --> 00:29:53,192 Hey! Hey! 721 00:29:53,225 --> 00:29:54,393 What are you doing here anyway? 722 00:29:54,426 --> 00:29:56,295 Trying to figure out what the heck is going on with us. 723 00:29:56,328 --> 00:29:58,530 What's going on is that you're bothering me. 724 00:29:58,564 --> 00:29:59,531 I was sleeping. 725 00:29:59,565 --> 00:30:01,067 How did you even get in? 726 00:30:01,100 --> 00:30:03,502 Reveal yourself, witch! 727 00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:04,570 You stole the key. 728 00:30:04,603 --> 00:30:06,005 Borrowed! 729 00:30:06,038 --> 00:30:07,506 Don't give me that look. 730 00:30:07,539 --> 00:30:08,875 What look? 731 00:30:08,908 --> 00:30:09,876 That look of judgement you're giving me. 732 00:30:09,909 --> 00:30:11,844 This is my look of tacit approval. 733 00:30:11,878 --> 00:30:13,112 Well, whatever. 734 00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:15,381 We really need to figure this talking thing out. 735 00:30:15,414 --> 00:30:18,150 Okay, but it's worth pointing out you really screwed up 736 00:30:18,184 --> 00:30:19,518 your big wish. 737 00:30:19,551 --> 00:30:22,889 Why wouldn't your first choice be an unlimited supply of tuna? 738 00:30:24,423 --> 00:30:26,592 Another, mademoiselle Grumpy Cat? 739 00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:30,930 Oui, oui, just keep them coming until I pass out. 740 00:30:30,963 --> 00:30:32,264 Because I don't like tuna? 741 00:30:32,298 --> 00:30:34,000 Huh, your loss. 742 00:30:34,033 --> 00:30:37,536 David Lee Roth, Gary Cherone or Sammy Hagar? 743 00:30:37,569 --> 00:30:40,106 Oh, it's not even an argument. 744 00:30:40,139 --> 00:30:43,242 Sammy Hagar is clearly Van Halen's best lead singer. 745 00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:44,276 What? 746 00:30:44,310 --> 00:30:46,045 Gary Cherone blows that hack away. 747 00:30:46,078 --> 00:30:48,280 Most people don't even know who Gary Cherone is. 748 00:30:48,314 --> 00:30:50,049 How dare you minimize his contribution. 749 00:30:50,082 --> 00:30:53,986 Oh, he was the lead singer for one very forgettable album. 750 00:30:54,020 --> 00:30:55,121 That's a weird cat. 751 00:30:55,154 --> 00:30:56,155 You're weird. 752 00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:57,056 Meow. 753 00:30:57,089 --> 00:30:58,157 Huh, yeah. 754 00:30:58,190 --> 00:30:59,926 Hey, there he is. 755 00:31:03,329 --> 00:31:08,901 Wow, freaky looking and a terrible guard dog. 756 00:31:08,935 --> 00:31:11,470 Oh, time for a walk? 757 00:31:11,503 --> 00:31:13,072 Whoa, this is awesome. 758 00:31:13,105 --> 00:31:14,473 They're stealing the dog. 759 00:31:14,506 --> 00:31:15,574 I love these dudes. 760 00:31:15,607 --> 00:31:18,310 Okay, not only is Gary Cherone the better vocalist 761 00:31:18,344 --> 00:31:21,080 but I bet my favourite amp he could totally beat Hagar 762 00:31:21,113 --> 00:31:22,915 in a kung fu fight! 763 00:31:22,949 --> 00:31:24,450 Oh, I'd take that bet. 764 00:31:24,483 --> 00:31:25,684 Seriously? 765 00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,653 Alright, all we've got to do is get them in the same room. 766 00:31:32,524 --> 00:31:34,260 We can't let them steal Jo-Jo! 767 00:31:34,293 --> 00:31:36,595 Just to play devils advo-cat, 768 00:31:36,628 --> 00:31:38,497 what if we let them steal Jo-Jo? 769 00:31:42,368 --> 00:31:43,269 It's dead! 770 00:31:43,302 --> 00:31:44,503 I don't care about that. 771 00:31:48,474 --> 00:31:49,408 They left their keys! 772 00:31:49,441 --> 00:31:50,642 Okay, freeze. 773 00:31:50,676 --> 00:31:52,979 At this point things could have gone two ways. 774 00:31:53,012 --> 00:31:55,347 The fast way which goes like this. 775 00:31:55,381 --> 00:31:58,617 I raced out of the pet store with Crystal in tow 776 00:31:58,650 --> 00:32:01,420 and knowing that precious moments were ticking away 777 00:32:01,453 --> 00:32:05,424 like a ticking time bomb I flew like the desert wind 778 00:32:05,457 --> 00:32:08,627 toward a building that looked official. 779 00:32:08,660 --> 00:32:11,697 Again with Crystal in tow, where I alerted the authorities 780 00:32:11,730 --> 00:32:14,500 to the crime in progress. 781 00:32:14,533 --> 00:32:17,036 Within moments the culprits were apprehended. 782 00:32:17,069 --> 00:32:18,304 Ow, that really hurt! 783 00:32:18,337 --> 00:32:20,339 You're welcome, police. 784 00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:24,710 Okay, that's enough. 785 00:32:24,743 --> 00:32:28,247 Me and my sidekick who barely did anything 786 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,650 were hailed as heroes, thank god for me. 787 00:32:31,683 --> 00:32:34,520 But that would mean a pretty short movie 788 00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:38,324 and a lot less advertising revenue so luckily, 789 00:32:38,357 --> 00:32:42,061 and through no persuasion on my part, it went like this. 790 00:32:42,094 --> 00:32:43,262 They left their keys! 791 00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:44,496 Put those back, they're going to need them. 792 00:32:44,530 --> 00:32:45,597 But if they steal Jo-Jo, 793 00:32:45,631 --> 00:32:47,399 Whiskers will go out of business. 794 00:32:47,433 --> 00:32:48,567 And? 795 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,769 And this is the only place where I don't have to worry 796 00:32:50,802 --> 00:32:52,604 about being accepted. 797 00:32:52,638 --> 00:32:54,440 Uh, so? 798 00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:55,641 I can just be me. 799 00:32:55,674 --> 00:32:57,643 I'm sure you can get the same warm and fuzzies 800 00:32:57,676 --> 00:32:59,045 at the library. 801 00:32:59,078 --> 00:33:00,412 But if Mr. Crabtree has to close 802 00:33:00,446 --> 00:33:02,414 do you have any idea what that means for you? 803 00:33:02,448 --> 00:33:04,683 I'm sure he'd take me in. 804 00:33:04,716 --> 00:33:07,419 I'd make a fine house cat, I know I would. 805 00:33:07,453 --> 00:33:10,156 Yeah, because you've had a lot of luck with that. 806 00:33:12,591 --> 00:33:14,293 Please, Mr. Crabtree, don't do it. 807 00:33:14,326 --> 00:33:16,162 Don't do it Mr. Crabtree! 808 00:33:16,195 --> 00:33:17,429 No! 809 00:33:19,065 --> 00:33:20,732 You're a horrible man. 810 00:33:28,207 --> 00:33:29,341 : Freeze, kitty cat. 811 00:33:29,375 --> 00:33:30,609 Hey man, I'm innocent! 812 00:33:30,642 --> 00:33:33,779 It was the other cat, the calico with the lisp! 813 00:33:42,088 --> 00:33:45,557 What about that one, daddy? 814 00:33:45,591 --> 00:33:47,159 She looks like the kind of cat - 815 00:33:47,193 --> 00:33:48,560 Who would make the best pet ever? 816 00:33:48,594 --> 00:33:50,329 That would smother you in your sleep. 817 00:33:50,362 --> 00:33:52,198 Lets keep looking. 818 00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:54,600 That's a pretty one. 819 00:33:54,633 --> 00:33:57,736 Don't worry, it's not going to hurt. 820 00:33:57,769 --> 00:33:59,471 This is way too dark. 821 00:33:59,505 --> 00:34:03,409 No! 822 00:34:03,442 --> 00:34:04,410 Well? 823 00:34:04,443 --> 00:34:06,278 Oh, I'm alive. Great. 824 00:34:06,312 --> 00:34:07,846 Can I have some more time to think about it? 825 00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:08,814 No. 826 00:34:08,847 --> 00:34:14,253 Alright, fine. 827 00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:15,587 I'm back, what's happening? 828 00:34:15,621 --> 00:34:16,988 I'll tell you what's happening, 829 00:34:17,022 --> 00:34:19,425 I just rolled around in some catnip and I'm ready to go. 830 00:34:19,458 --> 00:34:20,759 Lets do this! 831 00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:22,494 There they are, Donny and Zach. 832 00:34:22,528 --> 00:34:23,762 They are psyched! 833 00:34:23,795 --> 00:34:27,633 They just stole a million dollar mutt from Mr. Crabtree's store. 834 00:34:27,666 --> 00:34:29,768 Nice. 835 00:34:30,769 --> 00:34:32,404 That was easier than getting a record company 836 00:34:32,438 --> 00:34:33,572 to listen to our demo. 837 00:34:33,605 --> 00:34:36,242 Bro, we are going to get so much bank for this pooch. 838 00:34:36,275 --> 00:34:36,742 Yeah! 839 00:34:36,775 --> 00:34:38,310 Woo! 840 00:34:38,344 --> 00:34:39,611 That's why I'm the captain of this ship 841 00:34:39,645 --> 00:34:41,280 and you are the matey. 842 00:34:41,313 --> 00:34:42,281 Are we pirates? 843 00:34:42,314 --> 00:34:43,215 What? 844 00:34:43,249 --> 00:34:44,283 Are you saying we're pirates? 845 00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:45,284 No. 846 00:34:45,317 --> 00:34:48,487 I'm the guy, and you're the guy behind the guy. 847 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,189 Like if this was Nirvana I would be Kurt Cobain 848 00:34:50,222 --> 00:34:53,725 and you would be the bass player with the really long name. 849 00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:56,662 Can't it be more like Cliff Burton, 850 00:34:56,695 --> 00:34:58,430 James Hetfield kind of thing? 851 00:34:58,464 --> 00:35:00,499 You know like, I'm one and you're the other. 852 00:35:00,532 --> 00:35:02,534 Where are my keys? 853 00:35:02,568 --> 00:35:03,902 They're not here. 854 00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:05,471 Oh, good job Kurt Cobain. 855 00:35:05,504 --> 00:35:06,538 Nice looking out, Zach. 856 00:35:06,572 --> 00:35:07,339 What? 857 00:35:07,373 --> 00:35:08,474 How is this on me? 858 00:35:08,507 --> 00:35:09,608 Because you're supposed to be the lookout guy, right? 859 00:35:09,641 --> 00:35:12,344 You're supposed to be looking out for stuff like this. 860 00:35:12,378 --> 00:35:13,712 I hate you, you know that? 861 00:35:13,745 --> 00:35:14,680 I'm going to start my own band 862 00:35:14,713 --> 00:35:17,283 and I'm going to call it Tail of the Dragon. 863 00:35:17,316 --> 00:35:19,185 You can't do that, my band is Dragon Tail 864 00:35:19,218 --> 00:35:21,153 there's going to be some serious market confusion. 865 00:35:21,187 --> 00:35:23,655 Oh, well I already legal zoomed it, so. 866 00:35:26,258 --> 00:35:27,626 Ouch! 867 00:35:27,659 --> 00:35:31,297 Sweet Caroline, that was my finger plucking hand. 868 00:35:31,330 --> 00:35:33,665 What the heck are you doing? 869 00:35:33,699 --> 00:35:35,867 I was going to hot wire your car. 870 00:35:35,901 --> 00:35:37,403 Hey, do you know how to do that? 871 00:35:37,436 --> 00:35:38,704 Oh, no. 872 00:35:38,737 --> 00:35:40,206 But it's easy, I saw it on TV. 873 00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,908 You just take... 874 00:35:42,941 --> 00:35:45,577 zzz, with the wires. 875 00:35:45,611 --> 00:35:48,514 Don't ever touch my car again! 876 00:35:48,547 --> 00:35:50,249 Okay. 877 00:35:50,282 --> 00:35:53,319 I know where my keys are, they're on top of the fish tank. 878 00:35:53,352 --> 00:35:55,221 Why didn't you tell me that before? 879 00:35:55,254 --> 00:35:56,955 Come on, man! 880 00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:58,390 My hand really hurts! 881 00:35:58,424 --> 00:36:01,493 At that very moment Crystal and I were wracking our brains 882 00:36:01,527 --> 00:36:05,197 trying to formulate the perfect plan for a daring rescue. 883 00:36:05,231 --> 00:36:06,698 And then it came to me. 884 00:36:06,732 --> 00:36:07,766 How about this plan, 885 00:36:07,799 --> 00:36:10,902 we let them steal Jo-Jo and then we nap. 886 00:36:10,936 --> 00:36:12,471 No, you're coming with me. 887 00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:13,539 Oh, great. 888 00:36:13,572 --> 00:36:15,541 Who's doing the kidnapping now, huh? 889 00:36:15,574 --> 00:36:17,343 You're as bad as them! 890 00:36:17,376 --> 00:36:19,211 Quick thought, you should take Carla. 891 00:36:19,245 --> 00:36:20,946 A snake is a lot scarier. 892 00:36:20,979 --> 00:36:23,949 I'm not scary, I am fun and I am charming 893 00:36:23,982 --> 00:36:26,518 and I like long slithers on the beach. 894 00:36:28,587 --> 00:36:30,356 Lets go, we need to find security. 895 00:36:30,389 --> 00:36:31,457 Move your dumb butt. 896 00:36:31,490 --> 00:36:34,526 Yuh oh, off screen voices of bad guys. 897 00:36:43,702 --> 00:36:45,237 Hey, that's weird. 898 00:36:45,271 --> 00:36:46,738 I swear I put my keys right here. 899 00:36:46,772 --> 00:36:47,973 Why don't you ask that sad cat, 900 00:36:48,006 --> 00:36:49,775 he was watching the whole time. 901 00:36:49,808 --> 00:36:51,643 Yeah, that's really helpful Zach. 902 00:36:51,677 --> 00:36:54,346 Look at the fish following my fingers. 903 00:36:54,380 --> 00:36:57,649 I'm the fish whisperer! 904 00:36:57,683 --> 00:36:59,551 Where is that cat? 905 00:37:07,959 --> 00:37:12,030 Hmm, wonder if they know they're not the only ones here. 906 00:37:12,063 --> 00:37:14,266 We're not the only ones here. 907 00:37:14,300 --> 00:37:15,367 Aliens. 908 00:37:15,401 --> 00:37:16,468 Come on. 909 00:37:22,541 --> 00:37:25,277 At least I'm getting some cardio. 910 00:37:38,657 --> 00:37:39,891 What do we do? 911 00:37:39,925 --> 00:37:42,694 Uh, I'm thinking you know give up? 912 00:37:42,728 --> 00:37:45,664 Let the failure wash over us? 913 00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:04,750 Does this mean stop or go forward? 914 00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:06,352 Everybody knows this means stop. 915 00:38:06,385 --> 00:38:08,787 Oh, everybody? 916 00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:11,357 Hey, stop! 917 00:38:54,866 --> 00:38:56,101 I like this place. 918 00:38:56,134 --> 00:38:57,969 Hey, maybe we'll bag a deer later. 919 00:38:58,003 --> 00:38:59,137 Just keep an eye out. 920 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:01,740 I may be grumpy but I'm still a cat, okay? 921 00:39:01,773 --> 00:39:03,775 My focus is exceptional. 922 00:39:08,647 --> 00:39:10,582 Whoa! 923 00:39:10,616 --> 00:39:12,818 Oh man, thought that was my mom. 924 00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:15,120 Who puts a grizzly bear in the middle of an aisle? 925 00:39:15,153 --> 00:39:16,822 I hate nature. 926 00:39:23,729 --> 00:39:26,031 Hey, check it out. 927 00:39:33,472 --> 00:39:34,573 Did you hear something? 928 00:39:34,606 --> 00:39:35,774 Um, yeah. 929 00:39:35,807 --> 00:39:37,843 The sound of your heart beating through your chest. 930 00:39:54,593 --> 00:39:56,762 Oh, shiny little fishies. 931 00:39:56,795 --> 00:39:59,831 Yum num num. 932 00:39:59,865 --> 00:40:02,634 Shiny little fishies, shiny little fishies, ah, got ya! 933 00:40:02,668 --> 00:40:04,102 Nom, nom, nom, nom. 934 00:40:04,135 --> 00:40:05,804 Look, look, wait hold on. 935 00:40:05,837 --> 00:40:06,438 Meow! 936 00:40:06,472 --> 00:40:06,905 Meow! 937 00:40:06,938 --> 00:40:08,139 Ow. 938 00:40:09,575 --> 00:40:10,576 Hey, over there. 939 00:40:10,609 --> 00:40:12,611 Are you trying to get us caught? 940 00:40:12,644 --> 00:40:13,278 Hello? 941 00:40:13,311 --> 00:40:15,547 I'm sorry, it bit me. 942 00:40:15,581 --> 00:40:16,848 You turned on the Christmas village 943 00:40:16,882 --> 00:40:19,651 like one scene ago, hypocrite. 944 00:40:19,685 --> 00:40:20,886 Hello? 945 00:40:24,823 --> 00:40:26,525 Is anyone there? 946 00:40:37,503 --> 00:40:38,904 Stay here. 947 00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:42,073 Right, you get the s'mores, I'll start the hot chocolate. 948 00:40:42,107 --> 00:40:44,209 Actually I'm going to use you as a decoy. 949 00:40:44,242 --> 00:40:46,244 Wait a second, that sounds bad for me. 950 00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:48,547 Just sit here and look bored to death. 951 00:40:48,580 --> 00:40:49,948 Yeah, yeah, play to my strengths. 952 00:40:49,981 --> 00:40:51,449 I get it. 953 00:40:53,985 --> 00:40:55,821 I just want my keys, yo. 954 00:40:55,854 --> 00:40:57,789 We know you have them because you've been running 955 00:40:57,823 --> 00:41:03,094 from us and that makes us point the finger at you. 956 00:41:03,128 --> 00:41:04,663 We're not going to hurt you! 957 00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:06,698 But only if you give them up now 958 00:41:06,732 --> 00:41:09,067 because later is going to be too late. 959 00:41:09,100 --> 00:41:10,802 Yeah! 960 00:41:10,836 --> 00:41:13,605 We'll be a lot madder then. 961 00:41:31,790 --> 00:41:32,290 Why are you doing that? 962 00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:33,759 Shh! 963 00:41:52,711 --> 00:41:54,646 Ah! Gotcha! 964 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:55,814 Hello, gentleman. 965 00:41:55,847 --> 00:41:57,215 What's that weird cat. 966 00:41:57,248 --> 00:41:58,717 I'm a decoy. 967 00:41:58,750 --> 00:42:00,085 This isn't about me. 968 00:42:00,118 --> 00:42:01,152 Bye bye. 969 00:42:01,186 --> 00:42:02,788 Dude, grab him, he stole your keys. 970 00:42:02,821 --> 00:42:03,822 Stole your keys? 971 00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:04,923 Did you really think that through? 972 00:42:04,956 --> 00:42:06,191 I have no thumbs. 973 00:42:06,224 --> 00:42:07,959 Come here, kitty kitty. 974 00:42:07,993 --> 00:42:10,261 Nab him, yo. 975 00:42:10,295 --> 00:42:11,262 Ow! 976 00:42:11,296 --> 00:42:12,964 Well, I'm out of here. 977 00:42:18,804 --> 00:42:26,244 Ah! 978 00:42:26,277 --> 00:42:29,147 It's too noisy in here! 979 00:42:29,180 --> 00:42:30,248 Ow! 980 00:42:30,281 --> 00:42:31,116 Dude, we got to get outta here! 981 00:42:31,149 --> 00:42:34,152 Meow! Meow! Meow! 982 00:42:34,185 --> 00:42:35,220 So sorry to interrupt. 983 00:42:35,253 --> 00:42:37,956 We may be taking some creative license 984 00:42:37,989 --> 00:42:40,225 with what actually happened here. 985 00:42:40,258 --> 00:42:43,762 Get out of here, British Grumpy Cat! 986 00:42:43,795 --> 00:42:44,863 Oh, real Grumpy. 987 00:42:44,896 --> 00:42:46,064 Don't be absurd. 988 00:42:46,097 --> 00:42:48,867 They don't even make paintball guns for cats. 989 00:42:48,900 --> 00:42:50,101 Craft departments do. 990 00:42:50,135 --> 00:42:51,603 Die, bad guys! 991 00:42:51,637 --> 00:42:52,971 Meow! Meow! 992 00:42:53,004 --> 00:42:53,972 Die! 993 00:42:54,005 --> 00:42:54,773 I overstayed my welcome obviously. 994 00:42:54,806 --> 00:42:57,208 Toodles, I'll be in your head. 995 00:42:57,242 --> 00:42:59,778 Meow! Meow! 996 00:42:59,811 --> 00:43:01,680 We're going to die! 997 00:43:01,713 --> 00:43:03,615 Dude, if we can get through Stairway to Heaven 998 00:43:03,649 --> 00:43:06,618 without any mess up we can do anything 999 00:43:06,652 --> 00:43:11,389 and that includes getting out of this. 1000 00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:12,824 I have an idea. 1001 00:43:12,858 --> 00:43:14,092 Hurry back! 1002 00:43:14,125 --> 00:43:16,928 Meow, meow, meow! 1003 00:43:26,271 --> 00:43:29,074 Hey, where's the dog? 1004 00:43:29,107 --> 00:43:30,241 Oh, I'm out. 1005 00:43:30,275 --> 00:43:32,277 Adios muchachos. 1006 00:43:35,681 --> 00:43:41,186 Oh, how the hunted becomes the hunter. 1007 00:43:44,122 --> 00:43:47,292 * Yeahhhhhhhhhhh! 1008 00:43:47,325 --> 00:43:49,060 Donny! 1009 00:43:49,094 --> 00:43:51,062 I'm coming for you, big guy! 1010 00:43:51,096 --> 00:43:53,699 * Ahhhhh! 1011 00:43:53,732 --> 00:43:59,671 : Ahhhhhhhhhh! 1012 00:44:02,207 --> 00:44:03,241 That looks like it hurts. 1013 00:44:03,274 --> 00:44:04,876 Because it does. 1014 00:44:04,910 --> 00:44:07,412 Coming for you, paintball vigilante! 1015 00:44:07,445 --> 00:44:11,149 As soon as I pull this arrow out of my bros foot. 1016 00:44:11,182 --> 00:44:13,184 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1017 00:44:15,987 --> 00:44:18,957 Hey, you get back here. 1018 00:44:31,236 --> 00:44:32,838 Which way did he go? 1019 00:44:32,871 --> 00:44:33,905 Oh that looks bad. 1020 00:44:33,939 --> 00:44:35,373 Come on! 1021 00:44:54,359 --> 00:44:56,227 Terrible Movie, She Wrote. 1022 00:44:56,261 --> 00:44:58,363 By Grumpy Fat. 1023 00:44:58,396 --> 00:44:59,865 Oh crap, damn it. 1024 00:44:59,898 --> 00:45:01,733 Never mind. 1025 00:45:01,767 --> 00:45:04,035 Chapter 4. 1026 00:45:04,069 --> 00:45:05,203 Meow! Meow! 1027 00:45:05,236 --> 00:45:08,473 Villains peppered with paint and on the hunt. 1028 00:45:08,506 --> 00:45:09,540 Which way did he go? 1029 00:45:09,574 --> 00:45:12,243 A million dollar doggy on the loose. 1030 00:45:12,277 --> 00:45:14,045 You'll never get me! 1031 00:45:14,079 --> 00:45:17,849 A courageous Crystal hides the dog nappers keys 1032 00:45:17,883 --> 00:45:20,518 as the witty kitty continues to quip. 1033 00:45:20,551 --> 00:45:22,854 Isn't that where all dreams go to die? 1034 00:45:22,888 --> 00:45:23,889 It'll have to do. 1035 00:45:23,922 --> 00:45:27,058 And this guy pulls up in his car. 1036 00:45:27,092 --> 00:45:29,460 Wait a minute, what's the landlord guy doing here? 1037 00:45:29,494 --> 00:45:30,896 Red herring? 1038 00:45:30,929 --> 00:45:32,230 Or plot point? 1039 00:45:32,263 --> 00:45:33,932 You decide! 1040 00:45:44,475 --> 00:45:46,878 Hello there. 1041 00:45:46,912 --> 00:45:48,479 Lets wrestle! 1042 00:45:50,281 --> 00:45:52,951 Yum, yum, yummy. 1043 00:45:52,984 --> 00:45:54,019 Ugh, stop it. 1044 00:45:54,052 --> 00:45:54,820 You're kissing me to death, stop it! 1045 00:45:54,853 --> 00:45:56,287 Stop it! 1046 00:46:01,392 --> 00:46:02,127 Hey. 1047 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,128 Hi ho. 1048 00:46:03,161 --> 00:46:05,396 You're that expensive dog. 1049 00:46:05,430 --> 00:46:08,299 My reputation precedes me. 1050 00:46:08,333 --> 00:46:09,968 What is this, a jailbreak boy? 1051 00:46:10,001 --> 00:46:12,838 Uh huh, yeah. 1052 00:46:12,871 --> 00:46:14,372 Come on. 1053 00:46:30,956 --> 00:46:31,823 UGH! 1054 00:46:31,857 --> 00:46:34,225 Later gators! 1055 00:46:34,259 --> 00:46:35,026 Gotcha! 1056 00:46:35,060 --> 00:46:35,994 What is your problem? 1057 00:46:36,027 --> 00:46:37,195 Our problem? 1058 00:46:37,228 --> 00:46:39,064 How would you like it if we shot you with a paintball gun? 1059 00:46:39,097 --> 00:46:40,866 Mmh-mmh. 1060 00:46:40,899 --> 00:46:41,399 I wouldn't. 1061 00:46:41,432 --> 00:46:42,167 Of course not! 1062 00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,069 Because it hurts! 1063 00:46:44,102 --> 00:46:45,336 And it isn't nice. 1064 00:46:45,370 --> 00:46:46,905 I'm glad we can agree on that. 1065 00:46:46,938 --> 00:46:47,939 Can you let me up now? 1066 00:46:47,973 --> 00:46:49,908 What did you do with my car keys? 1067 00:46:49,941 --> 00:46:51,576 I don't know what you're talking about. 1068 00:46:51,609 --> 00:46:53,578 Zach, punch him in the face. 1069 00:46:53,611 --> 00:46:54,379 What? 1070 00:46:54,412 --> 00:46:55,280 Mmm. 1071 00:46:55,313 --> 00:46:56,481 What? 1072 00:46:56,514 --> 00:46:57,849 My hand still hurts from punching your car 1073 00:46:57,883 --> 00:46:59,217 and these are my money makers. 1074 00:46:59,250 --> 00:47:01,052 We haven't made a dime from our music yet. 1075 00:47:01,086 --> 00:47:02,187 Well why don't you punch him, 1076 00:47:02,220 --> 00:47:03,621 you don't even play an instrument. 1077 00:47:03,654 --> 00:47:06,892 My voice is an instrument, you hit him. 1078 00:47:06,925 --> 00:47:07,926 Hit him! 1079 00:47:07,959 --> 00:47:08,493 Okay! 1080 00:47:08,526 --> 00:47:11,229 Ow! Ow! 1081 00:47:11,262 --> 00:47:13,498 Oh man, I think it's broken. 1082 00:47:13,531 --> 00:47:15,366 I think it hurt me more than it hurt you. 1083 00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,602 No, I don't think that's true at all. 1084 00:47:17,635 --> 00:47:20,338 So, are you going to tell me where my car keys are 1085 00:47:20,371 --> 00:47:24,275 or are we going to have to amp this up? 1086 00:47:24,309 --> 00:47:28,346 I don't know anything about your stupid keys! 1087 00:47:28,379 --> 00:47:29,347 Wait! 1088 00:47:29,380 --> 00:47:31,049 Honestly guys, I just came back to get my laptop 1089 00:47:31,082 --> 00:47:32,483 out of my office. 1090 00:47:32,517 --> 00:47:34,552 It's not really an office, it's more of a cubicle. 1091 00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:35,553 Oh god! 1092 00:47:35,586 --> 00:47:37,455 That is quite the drop. 1093 00:47:39,457 --> 00:47:40,391 Jail break! Jail break! 1094 00:47:40,425 --> 00:47:41,592 Jail break! 1095 00:47:51,136 --> 00:47:51,602 George! 1096 00:47:53,972 --> 00:47:57,208 Well, somebody finally figured out a way to shut him up. 1097 00:47:58,576 --> 00:47:59,911 You're going to regret that. 1098 00:47:59,945 --> 00:48:00,411 Ow! 1099 00:48:00,445 --> 00:48:02,013 Oh, oh my god. 1100 00:48:02,047 --> 00:48:03,114 There's scissors there. 1101 00:48:03,148 --> 00:48:04,182 Are you okay? 1102 00:48:04,215 --> 00:48:05,183 What happened? 1103 00:48:05,216 --> 00:48:06,985 These two guys jumped me while I was rewriting 1104 00:48:07,018 --> 00:48:09,220 the policies and procedures hand book. 1105 00:48:09,254 --> 00:48:10,488 Here we go. 1106 00:48:10,521 --> 00:48:13,224 I think they had ninja training but I drop kicked the first one, 1107 00:48:13,258 --> 00:48:15,626 and then I hit the second one in the Adam's apple. 1108 00:48:15,660 --> 00:48:17,128 Do you have a half hour, Crystal? 1109 00:48:17,162 --> 00:48:18,229 Because I don't. 1110 00:48:18,263 --> 00:48:20,098 And that's when they pulled their guns, big ones. 1111 00:48:20,131 --> 00:48:21,166 And everybody knows that I'm a tough guy 1112 00:48:21,199 --> 00:48:23,501 and I'm ready to throw down with the best of them 1113 00:48:23,534 --> 00:48:25,670 but I am smart enough to know that I am no match 1114 00:48:25,703 --> 00:48:26,972 for a bullet. 1115 00:48:27,005 --> 00:48:29,240 Well, they're trying to steal Jo-Jo! 1116 00:48:29,274 --> 00:48:30,308 What's a Jo-Jo? 1117 00:48:30,341 --> 00:48:33,144 Super dog, super hound, super model... 1118 00:48:33,178 --> 00:48:33,711 Hi! 1119 00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:35,246 That's Jo-Jo! 1120 00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:36,714 Back so soon, gorgeous? 1121 00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:40,585 Yeah well, those guys were ignoring me. 1122 00:48:40,618 --> 00:48:41,786 A dog? 1123 00:48:41,819 --> 00:48:45,590 Why would they try to steal a dog and not some diamonds 1124 00:48:45,623 --> 00:48:47,492 or something from the jewelry store? 1125 00:48:47,525 --> 00:48:48,593 Mmm, that feels good. 1126 00:48:48,626 --> 00:48:50,728 Well, he's worth a lot of money. 1127 00:48:50,761 --> 00:48:51,529 How much money? 1128 00:48:51,562 --> 00:48:52,630 A lot! 1129 00:48:52,663 --> 00:48:53,764 Yeah, a lot. 1130 00:48:53,798 --> 00:48:57,602 And now they're after me because I stole their car keys! 1131 00:48:57,635 --> 00:49:00,638 I'm what's stopping them from getting away! 1132 00:49:00,671 --> 00:49:02,974 12 year old girl thwarted the robbery. 1133 00:49:03,008 --> 00:49:04,542 Hey, she couldn't have done it without me. 1134 00:49:04,575 --> 00:49:07,145 George, we have to call the police. 1135 00:49:07,178 --> 00:49:10,248 We can't, they pulled out the phone lines. 1136 00:49:10,281 --> 00:49:11,316 But don't you have a cell phone? 1137 00:49:11,349 --> 00:49:12,350 Well, they took it. 1138 00:49:12,383 --> 00:49:14,152 Well, what are we going to do? 1139 00:49:14,185 --> 00:49:15,453 Wait a minute, how did you get here? 1140 00:49:15,486 --> 00:49:16,521 My bike. 1141 00:49:16,554 --> 00:49:17,622 Okay, here's what we're going to do. 1142 00:49:17,655 --> 00:49:19,624 We're going to get you back to your transportation, 1143 00:49:19,657 --> 00:49:20,691 then you go for help. 1144 00:49:20,725 --> 00:49:24,229 Come on, and oh you've got a little kitty there. 1145 00:49:24,262 --> 00:49:25,296 Alright. 1146 00:49:25,330 --> 00:49:27,098 And here, I'll take care of the dog and the mall 1147 00:49:27,132 --> 00:49:28,633 until the cops arrive. 1148 00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:30,068 Is there a bathroom here? 1149 00:49:30,101 --> 00:49:31,769 Are you sure you don't want to come with me? 1150 00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:35,706 Oh no, Crystal, I took an oath to protect this place 1151 00:49:35,740 --> 00:49:39,577 and that is exactly what I'm going to do. 1152 00:49:39,610 --> 00:49:40,578 Oh. 1153 00:49:43,281 --> 00:49:44,782 Guys, I swear, I didn't have anything to do 1154 00:49:44,815 --> 00:49:46,351 with shooting you! 1155 00:49:46,384 --> 00:49:49,254 And frankly, I want you to steal that dog. 1156 00:49:49,287 --> 00:49:50,655 No, seriously. 1157 00:49:50,688 --> 00:49:52,323 My company wants to get rid of that pet shop 1158 00:49:52,357 --> 00:49:53,658 and put a Club Chicken in there. 1159 00:49:53,691 --> 00:49:55,393 I love those sweet chicky nuggets! 1160 00:49:55,426 --> 00:49:56,194 See? 1161 00:49:56,227 --> 00:49:57,195 So, it's a win win. 1162 00:49:57,228 --> 00:49:59,264 I'll look the other way, I never saw anything, 1163 00:49:59,297 --> 00:50:02,033 you guys were never here. 1164 00:50:02,067 --> 00:50:04,202 Donny, can I have a word? 1165 00:50:08,439 --> 00:50:09,807 He sounds pretty convincing. 1166 00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:11,542 I'm starting to think maybe he's telling the truth. 1167 00:50:11,576 --> 00:50:12,743 Because I am telling the truth. 1168 00:50:12,777 --> 00:50:13,744 You, shut up. 1169 00:50:13,778 --> 00:50:14,579 It's cool, I'm sorry. 1170 00:50:14,612 --> 00:50:16,281 What did I just say? 1171 00:50:16,314 --> 00:50:17,415 I think you might be right. 1172 00:50:17,448 --> 00:50:19,417 Hell ya I'm right. 1173 00:50:19,450 --> 00:50:20,685 Why do you think I'm right? 1174 00:50:20,718 --> 00:50:23,421 I just realized if he was the one shooting us with paintballs 1175 00:50:23,454 --> 00:50:25,423 wouldn't he have paint residue on his hands? 1176 00:50:25,456 --> 00:50:28,293 No residue, I'm clean. 1177 00:50:28,326 --> 00:50:31,796 You're like a one man CSI team. 1178 00:50:31,829 --> 00:50:34,199 Okay, so here's the thing. 1179 00:50:34,232 --> 00:50:35,266 Donny and I talked and it looks like 1180 00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:38,336 this whole thing has been a big misunderstanding. 1181 00:50:38,369 --> 00:50:39,804 Hey, no hard feelings. 1182 00:50:39,837 --> 00:50:40,938 Are you sure? 1183 00:50:40,971 --> 00:50:42,507 Because I did punch you in the face and I threatened 1184 00:50:42,540 --> 00:50:44,109 to throw you over the railing. 1185 00:50:44,142 --> 00:50:45,643 That's already forgotten. 1186 00:50:45,676 --> 00:50:46,544 Oh, I feel guilty. 1187 00:50:46,577 --> 00:50:48,779 Don't. Honest mistake. 1188 00:50:48,813 --> 00:50:49,780 Awesome. 1189 00:50:49,814 --> 00:50:51,082 You are awesome. 1190 00:50:51,116 --> 00:50:52,183 We should totally kick it sometime, 1191 00:50:52,217 --> 00:50:54,185 what are you into? Oh, frisbee golf! 1192 00:50:54,219 --> 00:50:55,786 Zach, do you want to wrap it up? 1193 00:50:55,820 --> 00:50:58,289 If he's not the guy that means there's another guy. 1194 00:51:01,692 --> 00:51:03,294 Where's the dog? 1195 00:51:03,328 --> 00:51:04,462 I thought you had him. 1196 00:51:04,495 --> 00:51:05,630 Do I have to do everything? 1197 00:51:05,663 --> 00:51:06,831 Oh, like lose the keys? 1198 00:51:06,864 --> 00:51:08,133 Just go get the dog. 1199 00:51:08,166 --> 00:51:10,335 What are we going to do about him? 1200 00:51:11,836 --> 00:51:15,173 As much as we'd like to let you go, 1201 00:51:15,206 --> 00:51:17,608 we can't. 1202 00:51:17,642 --> 00:51:18,209 Oh. 1203 00:51:18,243 --> 00:51:23,414 Shh. 1204 00:51:23,448 --> 00:51:26,317 Some are born great, others achieve greatness 1205 00:51:26,351 --> 00:51:29,520 and some watch Christmas movies starring cats. 1206 00:51:29,554 --> 00:51:31,222 I think you know who you are. 1207 00:51:31,256 --> 00:51:32,423 Meow. 1208 00:51:32,457 --> 00:51:35,326 What were you doing in the mall this time of night anyway? 1209 00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,262 This is going to sound really crazy. 1210 00:51:37,295 --> 00:51:39,130 Try me. 1211 00:51:39,164 --> 00:51:40,231 It's stupid. 1212 00:51:40,265 --> 00:51:43,501 Come on, I'm a good listener. 1213 00:51:43,534 --> 00:51:44,835 Well, I can't believe I'm going to admit this 1214 00:51:44,869 --> 00:51:47,705 but I came to talk to the cat. 1215 00:51:47,738 --> 00:51:48,673 The cat? 1216 00:51:48,706 --> 00:51:49,974 Yes, the cat. 1217 00:51:50,007 --> 00:51:51,709 I thought you said you were a good listener, George. 1218 00:51:51,742 --> 00:51:53,878 We understand each other. 1219 00:51:53,911 --> 00:51:55,846 With the way things have been going in my life right now 1220 00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:59,417 I can't say that about too many people. 1221 00:51:59,450 --> 00:52:01,586 My dad left my mom for a barista, 1222 00:52:01,619 --> 00:52:03,321 he barely calls anymore. 1223 00:52:03,354 --> 00:52:04,722 Last time he did he said they were talking about 1224 00:52:04,755 --> 00:52:07,725 getting married and starting their own family. 1225 00:52:07,758 --> 00:52:08,926 Wow. 1226 00:52:08,959 --> 00:52:13,198 Divorce can be tough, especially on a kid. 1227 00:52:13,231 --> 00:52:15,400 But a cat? Really? 1228 00:52:15,433 --> 00:52:16,667 She wasn't my first choice. 1229 00:52:16,701 --> 00:52:18,369 Um, I'm right here. 1230 00:52:18,403 --> 00:52:19,904 But we have a connection. 1231 00:52:19,937 --> 00:52:23,741 We can communicate in our own way, 1232 00:52:23,774 --> 00:52:24,742 and I know it's weird 1233 00:52:24,775 --> 00:52:26,711 but there's something kind of great about her. 1234 00:52:26,744 --> 00:52:28,613 Oh, don't get sappy on me. 1235 00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:31,882 Wait, I forgot, it's a Lifetime movie, you can. 1236 00:52:31,916 --> 00:52:33,918 I wish I had a friend. 1237 00:52:33,951 --> 00:52:39,524 Law enforcement, it's a lonely business. 1238 00:52:39,557 --> 00:52:41,759 Occupational hazard I suppose. 1239 00:52:41,792 --> 00:52:44,495 See, there's the schmaltz I was looking for. 1240 00:52:44,529 --> 00:52:46,764 You kind of feel for the big guy, huh? 1241 00:52:46,797 --> 00:52:48,366 I'm glad we had this talk, George. 1242 00:52:48,399 --> 00:52:49,567 Oh yeah, me too kiddo. 1243 00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:53,604 You know, you just you've got to hang in there that's all. 1244 00:52:53,638 --> 00:52:54,372 Okay, look. 1245 00:52:54,405 --> 00:52:56,707 Here is your stop, 1246 00:52:56,741 --> 00:52:58,676 I can take it from here. 1247 00:52:58,709 --> 00:53:00,611 Hey, don't forget your cat huh? 1248 00:53:00,645 --> 00:53:01,279 Thanks. 1249 00:53:01,312 --> 00:53:02,380 How about another walk? 1250 00:53:02,413 --> 00:53:03,314 Or a chew toy. 1251 00:53:03,348 --> 00:53:04,715 What, you're still here? 1252 00:53:04,749 --> 00:53:06,551 I am so not going to miss you. 1253 00:53:06,584 --> 00:53:09,554 Forget you, forgot you, never thought about you. 1254 00:53:09,587 --> 00:53:10,621 Be safe, George. 1255 00:53:10,655 --> 00:53:12,823 I live for safety, Crystal. 1256 00:53:12,857 --> 00:53:15,793 Oh hey, real quick, when the cops come 1257 00:53:15,826 --> 00:53:18,396 where should I tell them you put those keys? 1258 00:53:20,898 --> 00:53:23,601 Huh. 1259 00:53:23,634 --> 00:53:25,636 I thought you said they took your phone? 1260 00:53:25,670 --> 00:53:28,639 Oh yeah, this is awkward. 1261 00:53:28,673 --> 00:53:32,777 I thought they did too but oh I'm so embarrassed, 1262 00:53:32,810 --> 00:53:36,714 must be from the concussion from when they hit me on the head. 1263 00:53:36,747 --> 00:53:38,483 You never said they hit you. 1264 00:53:38,516 --> 00:53:41,552 Oh, I left that out well you know it all happened so quick. 1265 00:53:41,586 --> 00:53:43,020 Well, this is great. 1266 00:53:43,053 --> 00:53:45,222 We can call the police now right? 1267 00:53:47,392 --> 00:53:50,761 We're not calling the police, Crystal. 1268 00:53:50,795 --> 00:53:53,798 George, you devious scoundrel! 1269 00:53:53,831 --> 00:53:57,034 You're the brains of this operation, aren't you? 1270 00:53:57,067 --> 00:53:59,437 Look, I've got to say I totally saw that coming 1271 00:53:59,470 --> 00:54:01,806 but you didn't huh? 1272 00:54:01,839 --> 00:54:03,874 Where are the keys, Crystal? 1273 00:54:03,908 --> 00:54:06,777 How could you do this, George? 1274 00:54:06,811 --> 00:54:08,879 Well, that is a long, complicated story 1275 00:54:08,913 --> 00:54:11,782 which we can get into another time. 1276 00:54:11,816 --> 00:54:12,883 Ow! Ow! 1277 00:54:12,917 --> 00:54:14,018 Oh! 1278 00:54:14,051 --> 00:54:17,054 Ow, how did this escalate so quickly? 1279 00:54:20,891 --> 00:54:24,995 Mom? I can't talk right now, I'm at work. 1280 00:54:25,029 --> 00:54:28,032 Yes, yes, I need a ride home. 1281 00:54:28,065 --> 00:54:29,099 I need a ride home every time, 1282 00:54:29,133 --> 00:54:31,869 why must we have this conversation every single, 1283 00:54:31,902 --> 00:54:33,338 every single time. 1284 00:54:33,371 --> 00:54:35,740 Here doggy doggy doggy! 1285 00:54:38,643 --> 00:54:40,010 Oh, hey boss, what's up? 1286 00:54:40,044 --> 00:54:42,847 Oh hi, I'm just checking to see how everything's going. 1287 00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,049 It's going great, we're like a well oiled machine. 1288 00:54:45,082 --> 00:54:46,451 This plans full proof. 1289 00:54:46,484 --> 00:54:46,884 Nailed it. 1290 00:54:46,917 --> 00:54:47,952 Really? 1291 00:54:47,985 --> 00:54:49,153 Well, aren't you the least bit curious 1292 00:54:49,186 --> 00:54:51,689 as to how I can be talking to you on the phone right now 1293 00:54:51,722 --> 00:54:55,360 when I'm supposed to be taped to a chair. 1294 00:54:55,393 --> 00:54:56,894 Well, that's a very good question. 1295 00:54:56,927 --> 00:54:59,964 Well, see this nice little 12 year old girl untied me. 1296 00:54:59,997 --> 00:55:01,566 Well, that was cool of her. 1297 00:55:01,599 --> 00:55:03,901 The same girl who took your keys. 1298 00:55:03,934 --> 00:55:06,504 That's impossible, the guy who stole our keys 1299 00:55:06,537 --> 00:55:08,673 was probably an ex-Navy Seal or something. 1300 00:55:08,706 --> 00:55:09,907 He shot me in the butt. 1301 00:55:09,940 --> 00:55:11,742 You should have seen the way he handled the paintball gun. 1302 00:55:11,776 --> 00:55:13,778 It was a child, you idiot! 1303 00:55:13,811 --> 00:55:15,946 Ahhhhhhhhhhh! 1304 00:55:18,949 --> 00:55:20,418 UGH! 1305 00:55:27,692 --> 00:55:29,627 You okay, George? 1306 00:55:31,529 --> 00:55:32,930 Okay. 1307 00:55:32,963 --> 00:55:35,966 I'm starting to think that based on all the times 1308 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,869 that I busted you guys around here for stupid stuff, 1309 00:55:38,903 --> 00:55:43,608 combined with the debacle of what happened tonight, 1310 00:55:43,641 --> 00:55:48,713 I don't believe that you are cut out for a life of crime. 1311 00:55:48,746 --> 00:55:52,917 I think we're good at it. 1312 00:55:52,950 --> 00:55:55,886 Whose idea was it to steal the dog? 1313 00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:57,054 George, it was a way bigger score. 1314 00:55:57,087 --> 00:55:59,023 I didn't need a bigger score, 1315 00:55:59,056 --> 00:56:01,926 all I needed was enough money for a downpayment on a house 1316 00:56:01,959 --> 00:56:04,028 for when I retire next month. 1317 00:56:04,061 --> 00:56:05,295 But now thanks to you two numbskulls 1318 00:56:05,329 --> 00:56:11,702 a 12 year old girl is leading your bigger score out of here! 1319 00:56:11,736 --> 00:56:13,037 So. 1320 00:56:13,070 --> 00:56:16,040 We should probably... 1321 00:56:16,073 --> 00:56:18,676 Prevent her from doing that. 1322 00:56:18,709 --> 00:56:20,511 Now. 1323 00:56:20,545 --> 00:56:21,979 Mmmhmm. 1324 00:56:24,615 --> 00:56:25,950 Oh, now. 1325 00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:31,088 I think he might be angry with you. 1326 00:56:31,121 --> 00:56:34,925 And the winner of worst Christmas sweater goes to, 1327 00:56:34,959 --> 00:56:36,827 master of the chicken quesadilla, 1328 00:56:36,861 --> 00:56:40,931 Taco Gigante's employee of the month Alejandro Rodriguez! 1329 00:56:44,101 --> 00:56:46,871 Congratulations, I knew you had it in you. 1330 00:56:46,904 --> 00:56:48,005 Speech! 1331 00:56:48,038 --> 00:56:52,743 Thank you JC, thank you Academy and thank you family. 1332 00:56:52,777 --> 00:56:54,011 Aww! 1333 00:56:54,044 --> 00:56:58,483 You know, life is like a soft taco. 1334 00:56:58,516 --> 00:57:00,518 If you dig inside the meat -- 1335 00:57:00,551 --> 00:57:03,621 the protein of your choice 1336 00:57:03,654 --> 00:57:05,890 and the salsa added to your specification 1337 00:57:05,923 --> 00:57:12,229 of mild, medium or caliente you find the strength to stand tall 1338 00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:16,200 and triumph in the face of adversity. 1339 00:57:20,905 --> 00:57:21,972 Meow! 1340 00:57:23,541 --> 00:57:25,576 Back off familia, he's mine. 1341 00:57:27,945 --> 00:57:30,481 Sorry you didn't win worst sweater. 1342 00:57:30,515 --> 00:57:31,482 I was robbed! 1343 00:57:31,516 --> 00:57:33,951 Here's the truth, I was going to choose you 1344 00:57:33,984 --> 00:57:37,021 but I didn't want everyone to think that the only reason I did 1345 00:57:37,054 --> 00:57:39,524 was because I like you. 1346 00:57:39,557 --> 00:57:41,526 Even if that's just some line you're using 1347 00:57:41,559 --> 00:57:44,929 to lower my defenses, totally worked. 1348 00:57:44,962 --> 00:57:47,598 Yeah. 1349 00:57:47,632 --> 00:57:52,637 My backup plan was to impress you with my electric log. 1350 00:57:52,670 --> 00:57:55,239 You do have one nice log. 1351 00:57:58,075 --> 00:58:01,111 But seriously, it's actually a nostalgia machine. 1352 00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:03,548 Yeah, it invokes a bygone era. 1353 00:58:03,581 --> 00:58:08,553 A simpler time of pure ideals, asbestos, 1354 00:58:08,586 --> 00:58:09,253 leaded paint. 1355 00:58:09,286 --> 00:58:09,920 Cheez Whiz. 1356 00:58:09,954 --> 00:58:10,955 Cheez Whiz. 1357 00:58:12,823 --> 00:58:14,124 Thank you for inviting us. 1358 00:58:14,158 --> 00:58:15,660 Of course. 1359 00:58:15,693 --> 00:58:18,062 I'm glad Crystal's here. 1360 00:58:18,095 --> 00:58:18,929 You know, the divorce 1361 00:58:18,963 --> 00:58:20,798 has definitely made her more introverted 1362 00:58:20,831 --> 00:58:24,134 and she needs to go out and do things. 1363 00:58:24,168 --> 00:58:26,503 Take some risks. 1364 00:58:35,813 --> 00:58:36,280 Uh oh! 1365 00:58:36,313 --> 00:58:37,815 Give it up, kid! 1366 00:58:41,652 --> 00:58:45,189 Is this the end of the line for Grumpy and Crystal? 1367 00:58:45,222 --> 00:58:49,193 Will our heroes finally succumb to a villain so evil 1368 00:58:49,226 --> 00:58:52,663 even evil isn't evil enough to describe him? 1369 00:58:52,697 --> 00:58:55,199 Am I going to keep asking questions? 1370 00:58:55,232 --> 00:58:57,201 I will if it annoys you. 1371 00:58:57,234 --> 00:59:02,740 Come back and find out. 1372 00:59:02,773 --> 00:59:04,709 Are you still on the edge of your seat? 1373 00:59:04,742 --> 00:59:07,077 Is the dramatic tension too thick? 1374 00:59:07,111 --> 00:59:08,913 Are you still here? 1375 00:59:08,946 --> 00:59:10,748 You are? Why? 1376 00:59:10,781 --> 00:59:12,717 Whatever, back to the story. 1377 00:59:12,750 --> 00:59:14,785 Bum bum bum bum. 1378 00:59:14,819 --> 00:59:21,859 Boom boom boom boom bwaaa, dun nun nun nun nun! 1379 00:59:21,892 --> 00:59:25,329 Lets check in to see if I'm down to eight lives yet. 1380 00:59:25,362 --> 00:59:28,065 Oh wow, shocker, I'm still alive. 1381 00:59:28,098 --> 00:59:30,868 Grumpy Cat didn't die in her own movie. 1382 00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:31,936 What? 1383 00:59:31,969 --> 00:59:35,372 Yes, I know, it's not just about me. 1384 00:59:35,405 --> 00:59:38,743 Stop it, ow that hurts! 1385 00:59:38,776 --> 00:59:40,310 George, this isn't right! 1386 00:59:40,344 --> 00:59:42,112 What's Mr. Crabtree going to do? 1387 00:59:42,146 --> 00:59:44,749 Oh gosh, Mr. Crabtree. 1388 00:59:44,782 --> 00:59:48,886 I totally forgot, what is he going to do? 1389 00:59:48,919 --> 00:59:50,154 Wait, I remember. 1390 00:59:50,187 --> 00:59:51,321 He's going to pay me a lot of money 1391 00:59:51,355 --> 00:59:53,290 to get that stupid dog back. 1392 00:59:53,323 --> 00:59:54,892 Ha, high five George! 1393 00:59:54,925 --> 00:59:55,626 No! 1394 00:59:55,660 --> 00:59:56,360 You're a jerk! 1395 00:59:56,393 --> 00:59:58,128 Yeah, who leaves someone hanging? 1396 00:59:58,162 --> 00:59:58,996 Come on. 1397 00:59:59,029 --> 01:00:00,731 I'm the jerk. 1398 01:00:00,765 --> 01:00:02,633 I'm the jerk. 1399 01:00:02,667 --> 01:00:04,134 Me, the guy who fooled everybody 1400 01:00:04,168 --> 01:00:06,771 by pretending to be a big blowhard 1401 01:00:06,804 --> 01:00:08,906 when in fact he was just lulling them all 1402 01:00:08,939 --> 01:00:12,276 into a false sense of complacency and trust. 1403 01:00:12,309 --> 01:00:13,277 That's right. 1404 01:00:13,310 --> 01:00:14,344 Me, the jerk? 1405 01:00:14,378 --> 01:00:16,814 Who rode around this mall in that stupid scooter 1406 01:00:16,847 --> 01:00:20,217 enforcing the law but the whole time all I was thinking about 1407 01:00:20,250 --> 01:00:22,853 was breaking it. 1408 01:00:22,887 --> 01:00:24,288 That jerk? 1409 01:00:24,321 --> 01:00:27,658 So, are you still pretending to be a big blowhard or what? 1410 01:00:27,692 --> 01:00:28,759 Jerk. 1411 01:00:28,793 --> 01:00:30,828 I don't think so. 1412 01:00:30,861 --> 01:00:32,730 Pffft! 1413 01:00:32,763 --> 01:00:34,899 Mastermind. 1414 01:00:34,932 --> 01:00:36,734 Oh yes. 1415 01:00:36,767 --> 01:00:40,671 Oh no, yeah, you're a limp short of being Keyser Soze. 1416 01:00:40,705 --> 01:00:44,341 Now, about those keys. 1417 01:00:44,374 --> 01:00:45,743 Yeah, those keys. 1418 01:00:45,776 --> 01:00:48,078 About them. 1419 01:00:48,112 --> 01:00:49,880 I forgot where I put them. 1420 01:00:49,914 --> 01:00:52,416 Oh man, what are we going to do? 1421 01:00:52,449 --> 01:00:53,884 We're screwed! 1422 01:00:53,918 --> 01:00:57,121 She's lying, right? 1423 01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:58,689 Obviously. 1424 01:00:58,723 --> 01:00:59,389 Oh. 1425 01:00:59,423 --> 01:01:01,391 That's very convincing. 1426 01:01:01,425 --> 01:01:04,762 Okay, you and you go find a nice piranha 1427 01:01:04,795 --> 01:01:06,731 or scorpion to play with. 1428 01:01:06,764 --> 01:01:08,332 Is he serious? 1429 01:01:13,503 --> 01:01:15,105 Alright, now listen to me. 1430 01:01:15,139 --> 01:01:16,907 I'm not fooling around anymore, Crystal, 1431 01:01:16,941 --> 01:01:19,877 I mean I'm out of patience. 1432 01:01:19,910 --> 01:01:22,813 Now, you tell me where those keys are 1433 01:01:22,847 --> 01:01:25,382 or somebody is going to get hurt. 1434 01:01:25,415 --> 01:01:29,887 You wouldn't really hurt a little girl, would you? 1435 01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:30,788 What do I look like? 1436 01:01:30,821 --> 01:01:32,089 A nut job? 1437 01:01:32,122 --> 01:01:33,858 I'm greedy, I'm not evil, 1438 01:01:33,891 --> 01:01:35,259 which I think is important to point out 1439 01:01:35,292 --> 01:01:37,194 are two completely different things. 1440 01:01:37,227 --> 01:01:41,732 One is the foundation of our economic system 1441 01:01:41,766 --> 01:01:45,369 and the other, you know just bad. 1442 01:01:45,402 --> 01:01:50,307 Okay, I'm not really following you but. 1443 01:01:50,340 --> 01:01:54,244 I'm not going to hurt you, Crystal. 1444 01:01:54,278 --> 01:01:58,215 I will however hurt the cat. 1445 01:01:58,248 --> 01:01:59,817 Whoa, what? Me cat? 1446 01:01:59,850 --> 01:02:01,085 Don't! 1447 01:02:01,118 --> 01:02:05,389 Now, what was it you said about the cat being your best friend? 1448 01:02:05,422 --> 01:02:09,760 So sweet, it really tugged at my heartstrings. 1449 01:02:09,794 --> 01:02:11,962 Which would make it all the worse 1450 01:02:11,996 --> 01:02:15,232 if something bad were to happen to the little guy. 1451 01:02:15,265 --> 01:02:15,900 Grumpy. 1452 01:02:15,933 --> 01:02:17,234 First of all, I'm a she. 1453 01:02:17,267 --> 01:02:18,903 Why is that so hard to grasp? 1454 01:02:18,936 --> 01:02:21,471 And second of all, pfft he's bluffing. 1455 01:02:21,505 --> 01:02:22,539 I'm not scared. 1456 01:02:22,572 --> 01:02:25,242 Now, I'm going to give you three seconds to tell me 1457 01:02:25,275 --> 01:02:28,779 where those keys are or I'm going to put the kitty cat 1458 01:02:28,813 --> 01:02:31,215 in the trash compactor. 1459 01:02:31,248 --> 01:02:31,882 No! 1460 01:02:31,916 --> 01:02:32,917 Whoa, he's not bluffing! 1461 01:02:32,950 --> 01:02:34,018 He's not bluffing! 1462 01:02:34,051 --> 01:02:35,786 He's petting me way too diabolically. 1463 01:02:35,820 --> 01:02:37,321 Tell him Crystal, you've got to tell him! 1464 01:02:37,354 --> 01:02:38,355 One! 1465 01:02:38,388 --> 01:02:39,824 I threw them in the wishing well! 1466 01:02:39,857 --> 01:02:41,025 Oh god, thank you. 1467 01:02:41,058 --> 01:02:42,226 Haha. 1468 01:02:44,361 --> 01:02:46,363 Look at this huge frog. 1469 01:02:48,565 --> 01:02:50,300 We're on it. 1470 01:02:50,334 --> 01:02:52,002 Lets go, Patrick. 1471 01:02:54,839 --> 01:02:59,009 See? That wasn't so hard, was it? 1472 01:02:59,043 --> 01:03:01,445 Look, I never thought I was in danger okay? 1473 01:03:01,478 --> 01:03:03,480 It's my movie after all and I'm sure 1474 01:03:03,513 --> 01:03:06,583 the Lifetime executives are already thinking sequel! 1475 01:03:06,616 --> 01:03:11,889 Like Grumpy's Worst Vacation Ever, Meowii Style. 1476 01:03:11,922 --> 01:03:14,358 Anyway, since you're still watching this for some reason 1477 01:03:14,391 --> 01:03:16,160 I thought now would be a perfect time 1478 01:03:16,193 --> 01:03:19,563 to see if you're interested in my new product line! 1479 01:03:19,596 --> 01:03:23,300 Like Grumpy Cat golf balls, or the Grumpy Cat dartboard. 1480 01:03:23,333 --> 01:03:27,037 And for the ladies a sure fire hit, Grumpy underwear. 1481 01:03:27,071 --> 01:03:28,572 To see what else is new this season please visit 1482 01:03:28,605 --> 01:03:30,440 www.GrumpyCats.com. 1483 01:03:30,474 --> 01:03:31,575 Please be grumpy when you do it. 1484 01:03:31,608 --> 01:03:33,610 Grumpy people only. 1485 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:35,345 Nice kitty. 1486 01:03:35,379 --> 01:03:37,181 Kind of odd looking, though. 1487 01:03:37,214 --> 01:03:39,950 I don't see your face on any holiday cards. 1488 01:03:39,984 --> 01:03:43,487 Come on, lets get you something to eat. 1489 01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:45,189 Stay! 1490 01:03:48,458 --> 01:03:50,928 So, anyway that's how the story ended. 1491 01:03:50,961 --> 01:03:53,898 The bad guys made off with the overpriced freak dog 1492 01:03:53,931 --> 01:03:57,467 and evil triumphed over good. 1493 01:03:57,501 --> 01:03:59,236 So sad. 1494 01:04:55,192 --> 01:04:57,027 I'm not going to sugarcoat it people, 1495 01:04:57,061 --> 01:05:01,565 this happy, sappy Christmas story had taken an ugly turn. 1496 01:05:01,598 --> 01:05:05,369 Things were looking grim and poor Crystal, 1497 01:05:05,402 --> 01:05:09,940 she was looking lower than a cat caught in a rain storm. 1498 01:05:09,974 --> 01:05:11,976 Can you blame her? 1499 01:05:12,009 --> 01:05:15,045 Once again she'd been let down by someone, 1500 01:05:15,079 --> 01:05:17,447 her faith in people was shaken. 1501 01:05:17,481 --> 01:05:19,716 Wasn't there anyone to step forward 1502 01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:23,053 in this desperate moment to boost her spirit, 1503 01:05:23,087 --> 01:05:24,989 to make her feel like not all humanity 1504 01:05:25,022 --> 01:05:28,292 was rotten to the core? 1505 01:05:28,325 --> 01:05:31,395 Don't look at me, I don't do motivational, sorry. 1506 01:05:31,428 --> 01:05:33,530 That's Happy Cat. 1507 01:05:33,563 --> 01:05:35,565 I'm Grumpy Cat. 1508 01:05:35,599 --> 01:05:41,371 But truth is I dug down deep and consulted my inner grump 1509 01:05:41,405 --> 01:05:44,741 and realized that it was time to help a kid 1510 01:05:44,774 --> 01:05:48,278 I was actually starting to care about. 1511 01:05:48,312 --> 01:05:50,347 Are you crying, Crystal? 1512 01:05:50,380 --> 01:05:53,083 No, I'm allergic to cats, what do you think? 1513 01:05:53,117 --> 01:05:55,385 Okay, I'm going to let that one go. 1514 01:05:55,419 --> 01:05:57,687 Come on Crystal, just talk to me. 1515 01:05:57,721 --> 01:06:02,159 Why? What's talk going to do? 1516 01:06:02,192 --> 01:06:06,630 I can't change anything, especially people. 1517 01:06:06,663 --> 01:06:08,765 I try to make friends, Grumpy. 1518 01:06:08,798 --> 01:06:11,501 I try to see the good in everyone, 1519 01:06:11,535 --> 01:06:14,438 I stupidly even thought that George was my friend. 1520 01:06:14,471 --> 01:06:16,106 Nope! Never was! 1521 01:06:16,140 --> 01:06:17,741 See? 1522 01:06:17,774 --> 01:06:20,744 I just feel like my life will always be a disappointment. 1523 01:06:20,777 --> 01:06:22,746 I know what that's like, okay. 1524 01:06:22,779 --> 01:06:23,980 Trust me. 1525 01:06:24,014 --> 01:06:27,717 Having been bought and returned a couple times I get it. 1526 01:06:27,751 --> 01:06:30,420 Can I trade her for a fish? 1527 01:06:30,454 --> 01:06:33,457 It makes you feel like there's no love in the world. 1528 01:06:33,490 --> 01:06:38,462 It makes you feel, well, grumpy. 1529 01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:44,134 But you're different, Crystal, you're full of love. 1530 01:06:44,168 --> 01:06:47,437 What good is love if nobody gives it back? 1531 01:06:47,471 --> 01:06:51,075 That's how we feel too, every day people walk in here 1532 01:06:51,108 --> 01:06:53,810 to coo over the puppies and the rabbits 1533 01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:57,814 and the Jo-Jo's and ignore us. 1534 01:06:57,847 --> 01:06:58,348 True dat! 1535 01:06:58,382 --> 01:06:59,516 Spot on, Grumpy! 1536 01:06:59,549 --> 01:07:00,517 Preach it, sister! 1537 01:07:00,550 --> 01:07:01,785 Freedom! 1538 01:07:01,818 --> 01:07:02,986 So, you know what? 1539 01:07:03,019 --> 01:07:07,157 Contrary to the sign on the door we're not pets, 1540 01:07:07,191 --> 01:07:09,759 I mean until somebody takes us home and cares for us 1541 01:07:09,793 --> 01:07:13,130 and loves us we're just animals. 1542 01:07:13,163 --> 01:07:13,697 Yup. 1543 01:07:13,730 --> 01:07:14,498 Well said. 1544 01:07:14,531 --> 01:07:15,565 Just animals. 1545 01:07:15,599 --> 01:07:16,733 And reptiles. 1546 01:07:16,766 --> 01:07:19,569 And as far as I can tell humans are no different. 1547 01:07:19,603 --> 01:07:21,338 You're actually making me sadder. 1548 01:07:21,371 --> 01:07:24,408 Okay, well it's your low point, deal with it. 1549 01:07:24,441 --> 01:07:28,145 But what I'm trying to say is you are loved. 1550 01:07:28,178 --> 01:07:31,648 Your mom loves you, look at her, she loves you. 1551 01:07:31,681 --> 01:07:33,217 Taco guy loves you. 1552 01:07:33,250 --> 01:07:34,218 That guy loves you. 1553 01:07:34,251 --> 01:07:35,152 Who is that guy? 1554 01:07:35,185 --> 01:07:37,121 Even your dad loves you. 1555 01:07:37,154 --> 01:07:41,191 Why? Because you're the amazing you. 1556 01:07:41,225 --> 01:07:45,162 And that is why I've decided to adopt you. 1557 01:07:45,195 --> 01:07:46,530 That's right. 1558 01:07:46,563 --> 01:07:49,766 You're now on Team Grumpy whether you like it or not. 1559 01:07:49,799 --> 01:07:53,337 In fact, from this moment on you're all on Team Grumpy! 1560 01:07:55,139 --> 01:07:56,106 Team Grumpy! 1561 01:07:56,140 --> 01:07:57,741 Uh, can we call it something else? 1562 01:07:57,774 --> 01:08:00,410 And this team is going to win. 1563 01:08:00,444 --> 01:08:03,347 Wearing Grumpy t-shirts and Grumpy baseball caps 1564 01:08:03,380 --> 01:08:06,350 and Grumpy glow in the dark buttons, am I right? 1565 01:08:06,383 --> 01:08:08,752 Boo, Team Grumpy sucks! 1566 01:08:08,785 --> 01:08:09,719 I don't want your swag. 1567 01:08:09,753 --> 01:08:10,854 Shame on you, Grumpy. 1568 01:08:10,887 --> 01:08:11,888 Shut up! 1569 01:08:11,921 --> 01:08:13,857 Every team needs a sponsor, come on. 1570 01:08:13,890 --> 01:08:16,693 Do you really think we can still do something to save the store? 1571 01:08:16,726 --> 01:08:17,994 Do I? 1572 01:08:18,027 --> 01:08:20,664 There must be a million ways to stop these idiots. 1573 01:08:20,697 --> 01:08:22,332 I just haven't thought of one yet. 1574 01:08:22,366 --> 01:08:23,167 Oh man. 1575 01:08:23,200 --> 01:08:24,834 No shocker there. 1576 01:08:24,868 --> 01:08:26,270 Cats blow! 1577 01:08:26,303 --> 01:08:27,604 Okay, wait for it, people. 1578 01:08:27,637 --> 01:08:29,005 I'm building here. 1579 01:08:29,038 --> 01:08:32,742 We implore the fates to smile upon this ragtag assembly 1580 01:08:32,776 --> 01:08:33,910 of freedom fighters. 1581 01:08:33,943 --> 01:08:38,348 We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. 1582 01:08:38,382 --> 01:08:39,583 Come on fates. 1583 01:08:39,616 --> 01:08:41,551 Oh, it's open. 1584 01:08:41,585 --> 01:08:43,387 Well, look at that. 1585 01:08:43,420 --> 01:08:44,821 Let me at em! 1586 01:08:44,854 --> 01:08:47,391 It's clobbering time. 1587 01:08:47,424 --> 01:08:49,726 Good show, now you're talking G Cat. 1588 01:08:49,759 --> 01:08:50,594 Meow. 1589 01:08:50,627 --> 01:08:51,861 Thank you, Grumpy. 1590 01:08:51,895 --> 01:08:54,431 Time to get scary. 1591 01:08:54,464 --> 01:08:55,332 Oh, not me. 1592 01:08:55,365 --> 01:08:56,366 No. 1593 01:08:56,400 --> 01:08:58,402 I'll undo the young ladies binds. 1594 01:09:00,704 --> 01:09:02,439 Piece of cake, really. 1595 01:09:05,542 --> 01:09:09,546 Hey mom, yeah, a friend is going to give me a ride. 1596 01:09:09,579 --> 01:09:10,780 No. 1597 01:09:10,814 --> 01:09:14,584 No, you don't know him. 1598 01:09:14,618 --> 01:09:15,885 Yeah, I met him at the mall. 1599 01:09:15,919 --> 01:09:18,822 Shh, I'm going to enjoy this. 1600 01:09:18,855 --> 01:09:19,956 He might like pot roast. 1601 01:09:19,989 --> 01:09:21,725 I like pot roast. 1602 01:09:21,758 --> 01:09:23,960 Alright, I'll ask him if he likes pot roast. 1603 01:09:23,993 --> 01:09:24,828 Pot roast? 1604 01:09:24,861 --> 01:09:25,629 Oh, count me in. 1605 01:09:25,662 --> 01:09:26,930 He's got to drive the speed limit. 1606 01:09:26,963 --> 01:09:29,333 I'm, you know, wearing my badge right? 1607 01:09:29,366 --> 01:09:30,434 What else am I going to do? 1608 01:09:30,467 --> 01:09:31,268 Surprise! 1609 01:09:31,301 --> 01:09:33,303 Ah! Ah! Ah! 1610 01:09:33,337 --> 01:09:34,704 Wee! 1611 01:09:34,738 --> 01:09:35,705 Slimy, slithering... 1612 01:09:37,907 --> 01:09:39,309 Oh hello, aren't you cute. 1613 01:09:39,343 --> 01:09:40,477 I smell crotch. 1614 01:09:40,510 --> 01:09:41,645 Yeah! 1615 01:09:41,678 --> 01:09:43,713 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1616 01:09:43,747 --> 01:09:44,881 Let go! Let go! 1617 01:09:44,914 --> 01:09:45,749 Oh! Oh! Oh! 1618 01:09:45,782 --> 01:09:46,783 Let go! 1619 01:09:46,816 --> 01:09:52,722 Ah! Ah! Ah! 1620 01:09:52,756 --> 01:09:54,858 Well, I hope he didn't want children. 1621 01:09:54,891 --> 01:09:56,993 Holy crap, they're possessed. 1622 01:09:57,026 --> 01:09:59,229 Get back, get back all of you! 1623 01:09:59,996 --> 01:10:02,399 Ow! Ow! 1624 01:10:02,432 --> 01:10:03,367 Give me that! 1625 01:10:03,400 --> 01:10:05,402 How'd you get free? 1626 01:10:05,435 --> 01:10:08,272 With a little help from my friends. 1627 01:10:08,305 --> 01:10:10,440 Ho-Yaaah! 1628 01:10:10,474 --> 01:10:12,876 Hands in the air, sucker! 1629 01:10:12,909 --> 01:10:13,843 Bawk! 1630 01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:15,879 Oh, give me that. 1631 01:10:15,912 --> 01:10:17,013 You're 12 years old. 1632 01:10:17,046 --> 01:10:18,715 This isn't your day, Crystal, 1633 01:10:18,748 --> 01:10:20,817 and it isn't your day either you dumb animals! 1634 01:10:20,850 --> 01:10:22,419 This is George's day! 1635 01:10:22,452 --> 01:10:23,620 Come on! 1636 01:10:23,653 --> 01:10:24,688 What about the snacks? 1637 01:10:24,721 --> 01:10:25,489 We did it! 1638 01:10:25,522 --> 01:10:27,724 Yay! 1639 01:10:27,757 --> 01:10:28,925 Victory! 1640 01:10:28,958 --> 01:10:32,362 Um, did anyone notice he still has the dog? 1641 01:10:32,396 --> 01:10:33,430 Blast, you're right. 1642 01:10:33,463 --> 01:10:34,864 Take back the yay. 1643 01:10:37,701 --> 01:10:39,803 Oh, how fortunate. 1644 01:10:55,619 --> 01:10:56,853 That was truly awful. 1645 01:11:04,894 --> 01:11:07,731 We should take kazoo caroling door to door, no? 1646 01:11:07,764 --> 01:11:08,665 I wouldn't. 1647 01:11:08,698 --> 01:11:10,900 Neighbours called, they think you're Satan. 1648 01:11:10,934 --> 01:11:13,002 Satan. Santa. 1649 01:11:13,036 --> 01:11:15,472 Same letters switched around. 1650 01:11:15,505 --> 01:11:16,640 Interesting. 1651 01:11:16,673 --> 01:11:18,742 And which one are you again? 1652 01:11:18,775 --> 01:11:20,009 There's only one way to find out. 1653 01:11:20,043 --> 01:11:23,313 La, la, la, la, la, get a room. 1654 01:11:24,614 --> 01:11:25,349 Meow. 1655 01:11:25,382 --> 01:11:25,982 Sorry. 1656 01:11:26,015 --> 01:11:27,317 It's okay. 1657 01:11:29,586 --> 01:11:30,920 If you're selling I'm not buying. 1658 01:11:30,954 --> 01:11:32,055 Mom, it's Crystal! 1659 01:11:32,088 --> 01:11:33,056 Whose phone is this? 1660 01:11:33,089 --> 01:11:34,491 George and those two other morons 1661 01:11:34,524 --> 01:11:35,792 are trying to steal Jo-Jo! 1662 01:11:35,825 --> 01:11:37,361 Slow down, who's Jo-Jo? 1663 01:11:37,394 --> 01:11:39,463 He's a really expensive dog! 1664 01:11:39,496 --> 01:11:40,730 Wait, wait, where are you? 1665 01:11:40,764 --> 01:11:42,499 At the mall! 1666 01:11:42,532 --> 01:11:43,500 What are you doing at the mall? 1667 01:11:43,533 --> 01:11:45,735 And what are you doing not in the other room? 1668 01:11:45,769 --> 01:11:47,337 I came back to see Grumpy. 1669 01:11:47,371 --> 01:11:48,505 Hey mom. 1670 01:11:48,538 --> 01:11:50,640 Because she can talk to me. 1671 01:11:50,674 --> 01:11:51,975 I am so confused right now. 1672 01:11:52,008 --> 01:11:53,810 Mom, just get here quick. 1673 01:11:53,843 --> 01:11:55,879 Call the police and Mr. Crabtree. 1674 01:11:55,912 --> 01:11:57,614 I can hold them off until you get here. 1675 01:11:57,647 --> 01:11:59,783 Wait, Crystal, no you have to leave there right now! 1676 01:11:59,816 --> 01:12:00,984 Gotta go! 1677 01:12:01,017 --> 01:12:03,653 Hello? 1678 01:12:03,687 --> 01:12:06,656 Excellent, the plot is finally coming together. 1679 01:12:06,690 --> 01:12:11,628 That moment of literary alchemy when smoke turns to fire! 1680 01:12:11,661 --> 01:12:15,365 Now, if only I could remember where I put my mousey toy. 1681 01:12:19,636 --> 01:12:22,606 Of the Serengeti. To Catvent 1682 01:12:22,639 --> 01:12:25,542 Shh, we're on safari! 1683 01:12:25,575 --> 01:12:28,578 Watch the female hippo follow the male hippo 1684 01:12:28,612 --> 01:12:30,714 into the watering hole. 1685 01:12:30,747 --> 01:12:33,883 Soon, the two will batter each other with their snouts 1686 01:12:33,917 --> 01:12:38,087 in a splashtastic mating frenzy. 1687 01:12:38,121 --> 01:12:42,459 Oops, sorry that's my other show, um, 1688 01:12:42,492 --> 01:12:45,662 also on this network and available on demand. 1689 01:12:45,695 --> 01:12:47,130 Anyway, Crystal. 1690 01:12:47,163 --> 01:12:48,532 Hiyeah! 1691 01:12:48,565 --> 01:12:49,132 Bad guy. 1692 01:12:49,165 --> 01:12:50,634 This is George's day! 1693 01:12:50,667 --> 01:12:51,501 Some dog. 1694 01:12:51,535 --> 01:12:52,569 I like pot roast. 1695 01:12:52,602 --> 01:12:53,737 And me. 1696 01:12:53,770 --> 01:12:56,873 Um, did anyone notice he still has the dog? 1697 01:12:56,906 --> 01:12:58,508 And now back to our show. 1698 01:12:58,542 --> 01:13:00,410 We can't let them get away with Jo-Jo. 1699 01:13:07,984 --> 01:13:11,755 Dude, I have like $8 here already. 1700 01:13:11,788 --> 01:13:14,424 What's with all the pennies man, people are so cheap. 1701 01:13:14,458 --> 01:13:15,391 Hey! 1702 01:13:15,425 --> 01:13:17,961 Oh hey, George, we were just coming for you. 1703 01:13:17,994 --> 01:13:18,962 What the hell are you doing? 1704 01:13:18,995 --> 01:13:21,097 Be awhile until I get another parking ticket. 1705 01:13:21,130 --> 01:13:23,500 Look at all this coin, man. 1706 01:13:23,533 --> 01:13:24,434 Ow. 1707 01:13:24,468 --> 01:13:26,069 Will you two knuckleheads freaking focus, 1708 01:13:26,102 --> 01:13:26,970 where are the keys? 1709 01:13:27,003 --> 01:13:29,773 Right here, man. 1710 01:13:29,806 --> 01:13:30,940 Ow. 1711 01:13:30,974 --> 01:13:33,977 Good thing you didn't go commando, right? 1712 01:13:34,010 --> 01:13:35,579 Yeah, because somebody did a crappy job 1713 01:13:35,612 --> 01:13:37,080 tying up the little girl. 1714 01:13:37,113 --> 01:13:38,548 Should I name names? 1715 01:13:38,582 --> 01:13:40,650 Does it start with a Z? 1716 01:13:40,684 --> 01:13:42,185 Or a D? 1717 01:13:43,553 --> 01:13:44,888 Can we just get out of here? 1718 01:13:44,921 --> 01:13:45,822 Now! 1719 01:13:45,855 --> 01:13:47,691 Yay, we're going to save the day. 1720 01:13:54,798 --> 01:13:55,965 I'm going to call Crabtree tomorrow 1721 01:13:55,999 --> 01:13:57,701 and I'm going to state our terms. 1722 01:13:57,734 --> 01:13:59,569 State our terms! 1723 01:13:59,603 --> 01:14:00,704 Alright, when we get the buyer to pay up 1724 01:14:00,737 --> 01:14:04,240 do you two idiots think that you can handle the exchange? 1725 01:14:04,273 --> 01:14:05,509 Hell yeah. 1726 01:14:05,542 --> 01:14:07,143 Where are you going to be? 1727 01:14:07,176 --> 01:14:08,712 Well, my timeline has changed. 1728 01:14:08,745 --> 01:14:09,979 I'm leaving tonight. 1729 01:14:10,013 --> 01:14:13,517 And by the way, guess who gets to drop me off at the airport? 1730 01:14:13,550 --> 01:14:15,151 As long as you chip in for gas. 1731 01:14:17,954 --> 01:14:19,923 You could pay us back, bro. It's no biggie. 1732 01:14:30,934 --> 01:14:32,536 Oh no, we're too late! 1733 01:14:37,574 --> 01:14:38,675 Grumpy? 1734 01:14:38,708 --> 01:14:41,545 Don't question this, just hop in sister! 1735 01:14:41,578 --> 01:14:43,112 Grumpy, are you serious? 1736 01:14:43,146 --> 01:14:45,715 Of course I'm serious, look at my face! 1737 01:14:45,749 --> 01:14:46,650 Buckle up. 1738 01:14:46,683 --> 01:14:49,586 But you're a cat, how are you going to... 1739 01:14:51,655 --> 01:14:52,689 How is this even possible? 1740 01:14:52,722 --> 01:14:54,123 You can't even reach the pedals! 1741 01:14:55,959 --> 01:14:57,594 Thanks, you had to say that. 1742 01:14:57,627 --> 01:14:58,995 Is this not my movie? 1743 01:14:59,028 --> 01:15:01,731 Why couldn't you just go with it? 1744 01:15:01,765 --> 01:15:03,900 Okay, that never happened. 1745 01:15:03,933 --> 01:15:05,001 This did. 1746 01:15:05,034 --> 01:15:06,235 Oh no, we're too late! 1747 01:15:06,269 --> 01:15:07,937 We'll never catch them on this! 1748 01:15:07,971 --> 01:15:09,773 Lets take the Camaro! 1749 01:15:09,806 --> 01:15:11,240 I don't know how to drive! 1750 01:15:11,274 --> 01:15:12,609 Don't worry, it's like riding a bike 1751 01:15:12,642 --> 01:15:14,578 but everything is different so you have to be careful 1752 01:15:14,611 --> 01:15:16,680 or you could die. 1753 01:15:16,713 --> 01:15:17,881 Why not. 1754 01:15:20,984 --> 01:15:23,553 Try the visor. 1755 01:15:23,587 --> 01:15:24,654 Aha! 1756 01:15:24,688 --> 01:15:25,254 How did you? 1757 01:15:25,288 --> 01:15:26,890 We are in a movie! 1758 01:15:29,258 --> 01:15:30,994 Punch it. 1759 01:15:31,027 --> 01:15:33,196 Come on, come on, they're getting away. 1760 01:15:36,966 --> 01:15:38,902 Meow! 1761 01:15:46,743 --> 01:15:47,343 Did we die? 1762 01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:48,311 Am I in heaven? 1763 01:15:48,344 --> 01:15:49,846 Is my brother Arturo here? 1764 01:15:49,879 --> 01:15:50,747 Arturo? 1765 01:15:50,780 --> 01:15:52,348 Oh my god, what did I do? 1766 01:15:52,381 --> 01:15:56,085 Ha, something I've been wanting to do since Thanksgiving. 1767 01:15:56,119 --> 01:16:00,289 But maybe we should try going forward this time. 1768 01:16:05,394 --> 01:16:07,797 Could you have parked any further away? 1769 01:16:07,831 --> 01:16:11,034 We scored the shade tree, we never get this spot. 1770 01:16:11,067 --> 01:16:12,168 It's night! 1771 01:16:12,201 --> 01:16:13,236 And what's with the clown car, 1772 01:16:13,269 --> 01:16:14,771 could it be any smaller? 1773 01:16:14,804 --> 01:16:16,706 Hey, I'm reducing my carbon footprint. 1774 01:16:16,740 --> 01:16:18,808 Hey, I'm going to put a footprint right up your - 1775 01:16:18,842 --> 01:16:20,343 Meow! 1776 01:16:20,376 --> 01:16:24,380 I promise you a car chase and I'm delivering a car chase. 1777 01:16:24,413 --> 01:16:25,982 Yeah! 1778 01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:26,883 I'm driving! 1779 01:16:26,916 --> 01:16:27,784 I'm driving! 1780 01:16:27,817 --> 01:16:29,052 I can't believe I'm driving! 1781 01:16:34,190 --> 01:16:35,124 Those are doors! 1782 01:16:35,158 --> 01:16:36,192 I know that! 1783 01:16:37,994 --> 01:16:39,896 This is the moment where we're going to blast 1784 01:16:39,929 --> 01:16:41,297 through this wall of glass 1785 01:16:41,330 --> 01:16:44,868 as a hail of crystal shards rain down on our triumphant, 1786 01:16:44,901 --> 01:16:46,770 heroic figures. 1787 01:16:58,715 --> 01:16:59,883 Okay, so here's the deal. 1788 01:16:59,916 --> 01:17:01,117 We had every intention of shattering that thing 1789 01:17:01,150 --> 01:17:04,954 but unfortunately we didn't have the budget for it, okay? 1790 01:17:04,988 --> 01:17:06,856 Not my problem. 1791 01:17:16,265 --> 01:17:17,100 This is great. 1792 01:17:17,133 --> 01:17:18,001 Is everybody comfortable? 1793 01:17:18,034 --> 01:17:19,736 I'm actually a little cold. 1794 01:17:19,769 --> 01:17:20,937 Turn the heat up, my man. 1795 01:17:20,970 --> 01:17:22,806 Don't mind if I do, old chap. 1796 01:17:22,839 --> 01:17:24,808 It kind of smells in here. 1797 01:17:24,841 --> 01:17:26,209 How'd you morons fit all your band equipment 1798 01:17:26,242 --> 01:17:27,811 in this puke bucket anyway? 1799 01:17:27,844 --> 01:17:29,345 Oh, have you ever played Tetris? 1800 01:17:29,378 --> 01:17:30,413 It's kind of like that. 1801 01:17:30,446 --> 01:17:32,849 But not anymore because we're getting a tour bus! 1802 01:17:32,882 --> 01:17:34,250 Tour bus! 1803 01:17:35,752 --> 01:17:36,252 What the? 1804 01:17:36,285 --> 01:17:37,653 It's Crystal! 1805 01:17:42,425 --> 01:17:45,228 Aw, why didn't we take the Camaro? 1806 01:17:45,261 --> 01:17:46,863 Lets dance, clown car! 1807 01:17:49,465 --> 01:17:50,433 That's it, Crystal. 1808 01:17:50,466 --> 01:17:52,668 Surround them in a circle of death. 1809 01:17:56,239 --> 01:17:57,373 Oh god, I think I'm getting sick. 1810 01:18:06,182 --> 01:18:07,350 We need to find a way in. 1811 01:18:14,123 --> 01:18:15,391 Crystal? 1812 01:18:17,493 --> 01:18:18,795 Whoa, meow! 1813 01:18:18,828 --> 01:18:21,230 Meow! 1814 01:18:21,264 --> 01:18:22,498 We've got to stop them. 1815 01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:23,967 Pass them on the left. 1816 01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:26,102 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 1817 01:18:26,135 --> 01:18:28,071 This is awesome. 1818 01:18:28,104 --> 01:18:29,806 What is this kid doing? 1819 01:18:29,839 --> 01:18:32,942 Meow. 1820 01:18:35,879 --> 01:18:37,246 Wow, have you done this before? 1821 01:18:41,417 --> 01:18:42,485 What do I do, Grumpy? 1822 01:18:42,518 --> 01:18:45,989 This kind of throw down requires nerves of steel. 1823 01:18:46,022 --> 01:18:48,257 And a better soundtrack. 1824 01:18:50,193 --> 01:18:51,861 Ugh, I said better. 1825 01:18:53,062 --> 01:18:56,065 Okay good, thank you, that's more like it. 1826 01:18:56,099 --> 01:19:04,140 * 1827 01:19:12,916 --> 01:19:14,517 Time to finish what we started. 1828 01:19:15,151 --> 01:19:26,062 * 1829 01:19:26,095 --> 01:19:28,497 Are you ready? 1830 01:19:28,531 --> 01:19:31,901 * 1831 01:19:31,935 --> 01:19:32,668 Just go! 1832 01:19:32,701 --> 01:19:36,239 Step on it and don't flinch. 1833 01:19:42,846 --> 01:19:44,380 This is so cool! 1834 01:19:46,115 --> 01:19:47,450 Why did I let you talk me into this? 1835 01:19:50,186 --> 01:19:51,387 Ahhhhhh! 1836 01:19:53,556 --> 01:19:57,393 Ahhhhhh! 1837 01:19:57,426 --> 01:19:59,362 For those of you who are keeping score 1838 01:19:59,395 --> 01:20:01,130 we did have enough in the budget to destroy 1839 01:20:01,164 --> 01:20:02,565 that cheap piece of scenery. 1840 01:20:04,968 --> 01:20:05,969 Yes! 1841 01:20:06,002 --> 01:20:08,304 Uh, Crystal? 1842 01:20:08,337 --> 01:20:10,273 Uh, crash positions! 1843 01:20:10,306 --> 01:20:12,041 Meow! 1844 01:20:15,644 --> 01:20:17,046 Grumpy, no! 1845 01:20:19,315 --> 01:20:23,319 Grumpy? 1846 01:20:23,352 --> 01:20:25,221 Grump, talk to me. 1847 01:20:25,254 --> 01:20:27,891 Meow! 1848 01:20:27,924 --> 01:20:29,425 Please talk to me. 1849 01:20:29,458 --> 01:20:31,027 Meow! 1850 01:20:31,060 --> 01:20:33,162 Grumpy, no, no, no, no, please. 1851 01:20:33,196 --> 01:20:34,864 You're my only friend. 1852 01:20:34,898 --> 01:20:37,000 I need you to say something, anything. 1853 01:20:37,033 --> 01:20:38,334 Gotcha. 1854 01:20:38,367 --> 01:20:39,368 You jerk! 1855 01:20:39,402 --> 01:20:41,337 Haha, I can talk. 1856 01:20:41,370 --> 01:20:44,207 Please, like the Lifetime execs would blow their chance 1857 01:20:44,240 --> 01:20:47,476 for a sequel with the internets biggest cash cat. 1858 01:20:47,510 --> 01:20:50,079 Meow. 1859 01:20:50,113 --> 01:20:51,280 Hey, watch the hair. 1860 01:20:51,314 --> 01:20:55,384 Ow, you're being very aggressive with my money makers, man. 1861 01:20:55,418 --> 01:20:57,887 You heard me, I'm a fellow officer. 1862 01:20:57,921 --> 01:20:59,122 I'll take that, thank you. 1863 01:20:59,155 --> 01:21:01,925 Oh hey Crabtree, thanks for coming. 1864 01:21:01,958 --> 01:21:02,658 Ow! 1865 01:21:02,691 --> 01:21:03,226 Lets go! 1866 01:21:03,259 --> 01:21:04,660 Ow! You're hitting me! 1867 01:21:04,693 --> 01:21:05,661 That was assault. 1868 01:21:05,694 --> 01:21:06,595 They did it! They did it! 1869 01:21:06,629 --> 01:21:07,596 I didn't do anything! 1870 01:21:07,630 --> 01:21:09,632 I'm an undercover cop. 1871 01:21:09,665 --> 01:21:11,034 Crystal. 1872 01:21:11,067 --> 01:21:13,036 Mom, Jesse! 1873 01:21:13,069 --> 01:21:14,137 Thank god. 1874 01:21:14,170 --> 01:21:15,071 So glad you're okay. 1875 01:21:15,104 --> 01:21:17,306 Hey, where's the concern for me? 1876 01:21:17,340 --> 01:21:18,507 You had me worried. 1877 01:21:18,541 --> 01:21:20,243 I'm fine. 1878 01:21:20,276 --> 01:21:22,578 Those guys didn't do anything to you, did they? 1879 01:21:22,611 --> 01:21:25,681 That's a different kind of Lifetime movie, 1880 01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:26,682 if you know what I mean. 1881 01:21:26,715 --> 01:21:28,417 No, mom. 1882 01:21:28,451 --> 01:21:31,520 Did I see you driving a Camaro? 1883 01:21:31,554 --> 01:21:34,557 Yeah, but for the record it was her idea. 1884 01:21:34,590 --> 01:21:38,127 Is this the cat you said talks? 1885 01:21:38,161 --> 01:21:39,428 I knew you wouldn't believe me. 1886 01:21:39,462 --> 01:21:41,097 It's okay, the good news is 1887 01:21:41,130 --> 01:21:43,266 there are people who can help you. 1888 01:21:43,299 --> 01:21:45,101 We will get you the treatment that you need. 1889 01:21:45,134 --> 01:21:48,237 Mom, just forget I said anything okay? 1890 01:21:48,271 --> 01:21:50,673 I thought you wanted me to make friends, 1891 01:21:50,706 --> 01:21:52,341 you just never told me with who. 1892 01:21:52,375 --> 01:21:53,309 Meow. 1893 01:21:53,342 --> 01:21:55,511 Alright. 1894 01:21:55,544 --> 01:21:59,015 I don't care. 1895 01:21:59,048 --> 01:22:02,952 You are a good kid and I love you. 1896 01:22:02,986 --> 01:22:03,686 I love you too. 1897 01:22:03,719 --> 01:22:04,988 I love you, meow. 1898 01:22:05,021 --> 01:22:06,022 And I'm going to tell you something 1899 01:22:06,055 --> 01:22:08,657 you probably didn't know. 1900 01:22:08,691 --> 01:22:10,526 When I was your age 1901 01:22:10,559 --> 01:22:13,262 I had an invisible friend, 1902 01:22:13,296 --> 01:22:16,332 so at least yours is real. 1903 01:22:16,365 --> 01:22:18,501 I knew it, Crystal's mom's a loser. 1904 01:22:18,534 --> 01:22:19,468 Thanks, mom. 1905 01:22:19,502 --> 01:22:21,170 She deserves an elf. 1906 01:22:24,640 --> 01:22:25,741 Hey there, little lady. 1907 01:22:25,774 --> 01:22:26,742 Hey, Mr. Crabtree. 1908 01:22:26,775 --> 01:22:30,413 Crystal, you saved Jo-Jo and you saved my store. 1909 01:22:30,446 --> 01:22:32,048 Yup, she sure did. 1910 01:22:32,081 --> 01:22:34,383 You're like a hero. 1911 01:22:34,417 --> 01:22:38,021 But you also stole my key and broke into the store. 1912 01:22:38,054 --> 01:22:39,422 Yeah, about that. 1913 01:22:39,455 --> 01:22:40,523 So, to pay for the damage 1914 01:22:40,556 --> 01:22:43,059 I'm going to have to dock your pay. 1915 01:22:43,092 --> 01:22:45,328 But you don't pay me. 1916 01:22:45,361 --> 01:22:51,200 Right, well then I could make you employee of the month. 1917 01:22:51,234 --> 01:22:52,301 Really? 1918 01:22:52,335 --> 01:22:53,236 Well, there's only the two of you 1919 01:22:53,269 --> 01:22:57,406 and to be honest Corben's kind of useless. 1920 01:22:57,440 --> 01:22:58,507 Wish I was kidding. 1921 01:22:58,541 --> 01:23:00,143 What? 1922 01:23:00,176 --> 01:23:01,210 Thank you so much. 1923 01:23:01,244 --> 01:23:04,280 Ugh, all this sweetness is killing me. 1924 01:23:04,313 --> 01:23:05,581 Literally. 1925 01:23:05,614 --> 01:23:07,383 Or is it figuratively. 1926 01:23:07,416 --> 01:23:09,085 Either way I don't like it. 1927 01:23:11,354 --> 01:23:12,521 Hello? 1928 01:23:14,790 --> 01:23:18,427 Hello? 1929 01:23:18,461 --> 01:23:20,496 I could use a little help here. 1930 01:23:23,466 --> 01:23:24,767 Hello? 1931 01:23:28,837 --> 01:23:29,472 Come on! 1932 01:23:29,505 --> 01:23:30,239 Alright. 1933 01:23:30,273 --> 01:23:31,274 Come on, slowpoke. 1934 01:23:31,307 --> 01:23:32,308 I'm coming! 1935 01:23:47,723 --> 01:23:50,159 What's wrong? 1936 01:23:50,193 --> 01:23:52,128 Nothing. 1937 01:23:52,161 --> 01:23:55,231 I guess Santa didn't come this year. 1938 01:23:55,264 --> 01:23:56,799 Why do you say that? 1939 01:23:56,832 --> 01:23:58,734 Because I didn't get what I wished for. 1940 01:23:58,767 --> 01:24:00,703 Which was? 1941 01:24:00,736 --> 01:24:04,207 I was hoping I would get to adopt Grumpy. 1942 01:24:05,474 --> 01:24:07,610 Alright, surprise, it's me! 1943 01:24:07,643 --> 01:24:08,844 Merry Christmas. 1944 01:24:08,877 --> 01:24:09,745 Grumpy! 1945 01:24:09,778 --> 01:24:11,214 Yeah, yeah, surprise. 1946 01:24:11,247 --> 01:24:11,814 Hey! 1947 01:24:11,847 --> 01:24:13,416 Oh god. 1948 01:24:13,449 --> 01:24:14,317 Hey girl. 1949 01:24:14,350 --> 01:24:15,618 Merry Christmas! 1950 01:24:15,651 --> 01:24:17,620 All right, lets take it slow okay? 1951 01:24:17,653 --> 01:24:19,422 This is the best Christmas ever. 1952 01:24:19,455 --> 01:24:21,857 Sure, go ahead, ignore the title of my movie. 1953 01:24:23,726 --> 01:24:25,661 Merry Christmas! 1954 01:24:25,694 --> 01:24:27,796 Hey! 1955 01:24:27,830 --> 01:24:30,499 Looks like Santa brought me a present too. 1956 01:24:30,533 --> 01:24:32,468 Does she mean the coffee or the elf? 1957 01:24:32,501 --> 01:24:34,770 Hahaha, good one Grumpy. 1958 01:24:39,308 --> 01:24:41,544 This is going to take some getting used to. 1959 01:24:45,581 --> 01:24:46,415 Meow. 1960 01:24:50,719 --> 01:24:52,288 Ho, ho, ho. 1961 01:24:52,321 --> 01:24:54,623 So, remember, make your Christmas wish 1962 01:24:54,657 --> 01:24:56,392 and old Saint Nick will 1963 01:24:56,425 --> 01:24:57,726 Beat it, tubs. 1964 01:24:57,760 --> 01:25:01,330 Alright everyone, put your Grumpy faces on and sing. 1965 01:25:01,364 --> 01:25:03,299 * Jingle bells, Christmas smells, * 1966 01:25:03,332 --> 01:25:05,801 * and it's really dumb. * 1967 01:25:05,834 --> 01:25:07,570 * Worse are movies about Christmas * 1968 01:25:07,603 --> 01:25:09,638 * so I hope you all are glum. * 1969 01:25:18,514 --> 01:25:19,848 Ahhhhhhhhh! 1970 01:25:19,882 --> 01:25:22,451 Ha ha! 1971 01:25:22,485 --> 01:25:24,553 "Have a very Grumpy Christmas. 1972 01:25:24,587 --> 01:25:27,223 It's the most terrible time of the year. 1973 01:25:27,256 --> 01:25:28,557 Bah Humbug. 1973 01:25:29,305 --> 01:26:29,865 OpenSubtitles recommends using Nord VPN from 3.49 USD/month ----> osdb.link/vpn 134272

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