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1
00:00:01,700 --> 00:00:03,739
Yes! Nessa told me!
2
00:00:03,740 --> 00:00:06,819
D'you think he'll still come to
your mum's party? He better.
3
00:00:06,820 --> 00:00:08,499
Bryn's already low on numbers.
4
00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:11,179
Smithy hasn't told me
and it happened a month ago!
5
00:00:11,180 --> 00:00:13,859
We played football last week.
He never mentioned it!
6
00:00:13,860 --> 00:00:15,299
Did you get my email?
7
00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:16,939
What? I sent you an email.
8
00:00:16,940 --> 00:00:19,459
No, which one d'you send it to?
Your Hotmail.
9
00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:22,619
I ain't checked, I'll just
open it now. It's lush it is, babe.
10
00:00:22,620 --> 00:00:27,099
It's a new-build, two bedrooms
and it's in our price range. Really?
11
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:29,779
Yeah. And it's got a bit
of a garden.
12
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,379
Great, sounds incredible!
13
00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:33,819
It's in Barry.
I know but...
14
00:00:33,820 --> 00:00:37,259
No, Stace. You've gotta stop.
We're not living in Barry.
15
00:00:37,260 --> 00:00:38,539
Why?
16
00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:42,139
You know why and I'm not gonna
keep going over this every day.
17
00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:44,259
I've got to work.
What you doin' today?
18
00:00:44,260 --> 00:00:46,579
Nothing, Gav. I'll just be here.
19
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:50,660
OK, then, right, speak to you later.
20
00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:53,100
SHE SIGHS
21
00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:02,819
I'm sorry, mate. I just hoped I
could pretend it never happened.
22
00:01:02,820 --> 00:01:04,659
Why did you do it?
23
00:01:04,660 --> 00:01:07,859
I don't know! It's been a
while since I been at the crease!
24
00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:09,579
But you don't even like her, do ya?
25
00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:11,179
No, but she just SUCKS me in.
26
00:01:11,180 --> 00:01:14,819
She's like a Dyson. Before you know
it, I'm head down, gunning for it.
27
00:01:14,820 --> 00:01:17,059
I don't understand how it
came about.
28
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:20,099
You weren't even drinking.
That's what makes it worse.
29
00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:22,059
So, what happened?
30
00:01:22,060 --> 00:01:23,819
Oh...
31
00:01:23,820 --> 00:01:29,259
There was this whole thing
with corn on the cobs and butter
and it just...
32
00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:30,859
What?! She didn't...?
NO!!!
33
00:01:30,860 --> 00:01:32,099
Really? Yes!!!
34
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:34,339
Given what happened
in the ensuite...
35
00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:36,299
What is the rule? What?
36
00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:38,059
WHAT IS THE RULE?
37
00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:41,219
That we don't
mention the toilet brush.
38
00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:43,299
I reckon you've told people.
Who?!
39
00:01:43,300 --> 00:01:46,939
Dunno but there's
some grafitti on a toilet brush,
40
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,979
at the Rose and Crown,
which I reckon is aimed at me.
41
00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:51,579
What's it say? "Smithy was 'ere."
42
00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:53,739
Don't laugh! I had to get rid of it.
43
00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:57,539
Well, what you gonna be like when
you see her tomorrow at the party?
44
00:01:57,540 --> 00:02:00,339
Is it Gwen's suprise thing this...?
45
00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:02,979
Great(!) I need that like
a hole in the bollock.
46
00:02:02,980 --> 00:02:06,739
You gotta come.
Why'd she tell Stacey?
She said she wouldn't tell anyone!
47
00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:08,339
Well, I can see why you did it.
48
00:02:08,340 --> 00:02:09,859
I can't.
49
00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:11,899
He's a lovely lookin' boy.
50
00:02:11,900 --> 00:02:16,699
Not in the conventional sense
like Gavin or Enrique Iglesias.
51
00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:18,499
But he's got a lovely spirit.
52
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:22,219
A confidence, if you will,
that you rarely find in a fat man.
53
00:02:22,220 --> 00:02:25,899
How's the arrangements coming along?
54
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:28,739
I tell you, I nearly got
caught out the other day!
55
00:02:28,740 --> 00:02:32,419
I been thinking it was a mistake,
making it a SURPRISE bash.
56
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:34,899
I'm on eggshells
whenever I'm around her.
57
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:39,099
I jump when the phone rings,
I'm terrified that Doris is
gonna put her foot in it.
58
00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:42,419
Sometimes I want to say,
"To heck with it, Gwen.
59
00:02:42,420 --> 00:02:47,179
"You're havin' a barn dance
to celebrate your birthday.
Please try and look surprised."
60
00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:49,059
Because I can't take it any more.
61
00:02:49,060 --> 00:02:53,859
You gotta think how good you'll
feel when the lights go on and
she sees all them smilin' faces.
62
00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:55,379
That's if anyone's there.
63
00:02:55,380 --> 00:02:57,059
I've had a lot of rejections.
64
00:02:57,060 --> 00:03:00,059
And I gotta be honest,
I thought Gwen had more friends.
65
00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:02,699
Have you invited them all
from Swansea? Yes!
66
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,979
The Uplands Crew,
the Mumbles Massive.
67
00:03:04,980 --> 00:03:07,139
But nobody's coming
in great numbers.
68
00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:11,059
It's got to the point
where I'm inviting people I know
she doesn't even like!
69
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:12,860
Not Jean?
70
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:16,700
Oh, Bryn.
71
00:03:17,060 --> 00:03:19,940
She'll be fine.
72
00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:24,860
Hello?
73
00:03:30,020 --> 00:03:32,140
Hello?
74
00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:50,019
Pam, what are you doin'?
75
00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:52,259
Oh, my Christ.
76
00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:55,099
I didn't know you were in!
You're eating ham, Pam!
77
00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:57,059
Thank God you came in.
78
00:03:57,060 --> 00:04:00,379
I crumbled. I'm so weak. Pam!
79
00:04:00,380 --> 00:04:02,139
No, don't look at me.
80
00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:04,019
Pam! I'm disgusting.
81
00:04:04,020 --> 00:04:09,020
Pam, are you really a vegetarian?
82
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:11,859
Yes, I just...
83
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:13,459
I've seen you.
What d'you mean?
84
00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:18,699
A scotch egg here, a bit o' bacon
there, putting those regular
sausages in the Linda McCartney box.
85
00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:23,939
I didn't wanna say nothin'...
Do you think ill of me, my child?
No, of course not!
86
00:04:23,940 --> 00:04:26,019
I just get these cravings, you know?
87
00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:31,019
I had four cheeseburgers the
other day with big fat Sue.
We ate them in a car wash.
88
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,699
Don't beat yourself up, Pam.
89
00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:35,339
Promise me, thou shall speak
of this to no-one.
90
00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:38,339
What you on about? Swear it!
Forsake me not.
91
00:04:38,340 --> 00:04:40,779
Pam, I don't understand
what you're sayin'.
92
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,779
Just don't tell anyone, all right?
93
00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:43,899
Hiya! Hiya luv.
94
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:45,259
All right, you two?
95
00:04:45,260 --> 00:04:49,379
Yeah, we're just chewin' the fat,
ain't we, Stace?
96
00:04:49,380 --> 00:04:54,859
Stace, you shouldn't wave this
under Pam's nose. You know how she
feels about people eating meat.
97
00:04:54,860 --> 00:04:58,259
Bryn's been on the blower all day.
Is he all right?
98
00:04:58,260 --> 00:05:01,459
He sounds like this party's
giving him a breakdown.
99
00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:03,139
Yeah, cos he's doin' it on his own.
100
00:05:03,140 --> 00:05:05,259
But we'll get there by 12
and can help.
101
00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:07,099
Is Gavin going down with you now?
102
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:11,459
Yeah, why? I thought we were all
going down together, about 3 o'clock.
103
00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:15,299
Smithy doesn't finish till two.
He's sealing Dawn's shower tray.
104
00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:18,419
It's the first I've heard!
I presumed he was comin' with me.
105
00:05:18,420 --> 00:05:20,419
How am I supposed to get down there?
106
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:23,659
Well, can't you go on the train?
Oh, great(!)
107
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:26,179
GAV!
Just don't start World War II.
108
00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:29,459
There's enough rows goes on
in this house as it is.
109
00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:31,419
What does that mean?
Just saying.
110
00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:33,539
What's up? Just a bit
of confusion.
111
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:38,019
OVER EACH OTHER:
Are you coming with me... We thought
you were going with us....
112
00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:40,659
What? Hang on!
Right, sorry, Mum, what did you say?
113
00:05:40,660 --> 00:05:42,179
No, listen to me a minute!
114
00:05:42,180 --> 00:05:44,699
Oh, charming(!) Pam, stay out of it.
115
00:05:44,700 --> 00:05:46,019
No, you stay out of it!
116
00:05:46,020 --> 00:05:50,259
Are you taking me in the morning
or are you going with them lot
in the afternoon?
117
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:52,899
It's silly taking two cars.
We should go later.
118
00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:54,539
Fine, if that's what you want.
119
00:05:54,540 --> 00:05:56,539
Oh, come on. Fine!
Don't be like that.
120
00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:59,059
It's all right, Gav.
It's just the way it is.
121
00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:03,019
What is? Us. I'm gonna get
the train times.
122
00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:05,500
Stacey!
123
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,499
I can't take much more
of this, Mick.
124
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:12,580
What? It's like living in Hollyoaks.
125
00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:17,499
What you actually
knitting there, Ness?
126
00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,899
A dress. For the baby?
127
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:22,619
No, for me.
128
00:06:22,620 --> 00:06:23,779
DOORBELL RINGS
129
00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:27,380
Hey! I'll get it. Crikey, Bryn!
130
00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:31,860
What is wrong with him, Ness?
He's been like this for weeks.
131
00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:38,019
Bryn. Now, I got the keys.
Keep it down! What?
132
00:06:38,020 --> 00:06:41,099
Shut up, man! She's only
the other side of that glass.
133
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,659
All right. Cool head now.
134
00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:45,859
Here's the keys,
but there's a few housekeeping rules
135
00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:47,379
Fire away.
136
00:06:47,380 --> 00:06:52,659
The hall is yours
from 8 o'clock tomorrow morning
till the following 1 am.
137
00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:55,899
You MUST leave it in the
same condition as you find it.
138
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:59,659
There must be no smoking,
no narcotics
139
00:06:59,660 --> 00:07:01,339
and no guns.
140
00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:03,379
Outside of that, anything goes.
141
00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:06,899
Right. Thank you
and thank the boys at the rotary.
142
00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:09,459
We'll be seein' you tomorrow
of course?
143
00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:11,539
It's tricky. Is Doris going?
144
00:07:11,540 --> 00:07:15,099
Well, yes! Why?
She's not returning my calls, Bryn.
145
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,219
I haven't spoken to her for days.
146
00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:20,859
She's rejected me as a
friend on Facebook.
I don't know where I stand.
147
00:07:20,860 --> 00:07:26,139
Look, you've got to remember,
Doris is a player.
148
00:07:26,140 --> 00:07:27,619
You should see her outfit.
149
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:30,619
She's dressin' to impress,
I'll tell you that.
150
00:07:30,620 --> 00:07:32,699
Hiya, Ted! Come in! Come in!
151
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,859
Say, "No".
152
00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:36,660
Do it!
153
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,059
No. Oh.
154
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:41,259
Say "Goodbye".
155
00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:43,259
Goodbye.
156
00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:45,219
Leave. Bryn?
157
00:07:45,220 --> 00:07:48,060
NOW!
158
00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:56,819
Well, he wasn't very friendly.
Is there something wrong with him?
159
00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:59,379
Oh, Gwen, get off the guy's back.
160
00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:01,659
He didn't want to talk to you,
deal with it!
161
00:08:01,660 --> 00:08:02,899
Get over it, Gwen.
162
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,539
Are we havin' this cup of tea?
163
00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:08,580
Well, there's something funny
going on in this house.
164
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,459
I'm a mess, Ness.
165
00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:17,339
You gotta keep it together, Bryn.
166
00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:18,939
Less than 24 hours to go.
167
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:20,459
I know...
168
00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:25,859
but I'm bein' tetchy.
I trust no-one. It's like bein'
in the Big Brother house.
169
00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:26,299
PHONE RINGS
170
00:08:26,300 --> 00:08:28,219
I got it. No, you're OK.
171
00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:29,980
I said I got it!
172
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,940
Hello.
173
00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:03,820
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
174
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:07,899
Hiya. Are you at the station?
175
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:12,139
Right, your mother will be
meeting you any second now
176
00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:18,379
and I cannot stress to you enough how
she must be kept away at all costs.
177
00:09:18,380 --> 00:09:21,299
And don't be late, cos I don't want
her wanderin' round
178
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,179
gettin wind of what's goin' down,
179
00:09:23,180 --> 00:09:25,499
people chattin' to her
and what have you,
180
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,459
because this is the talk of the town.
181
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:29,819
Do you understand? Are you sur..?
182
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:32,339
Right, I gotta go, I got
another call coming in.
183
00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:33,899
Hello?
184
00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,539
Jean!
185
00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:39,779
Yes, yes, we're all looking
forward to seeing you, yes!
186
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:44,259
But I must warn you,
any nonsense and you'll have to go.
187
00:09:44,260 --> 00:09:47,299
Well, then you'll
be forcibly removed.
188
00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:49,739
I gotta go, Jean.
189
00:09:49,740 --> 00:09:53,380
You see that is what I mean,
that is rude.
190
00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:03,899
STACEY SQUEALS
191
00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:07,420
Hello, stranger! Welcome home.
192
00:10:08,260 --> 00:10:10,659
Happy birthday! I got your present
in my bag.
193
00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:13,779
Oh, that's nice. Do you want
to get a taxi or shall we walk?
194
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,140
Walk, shall we? Yeah.
195
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,419
DOORBELL RINGS
196
00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:20,499
Smithster!
197
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:24,659
# You've got to hold and
give but do it at the right time
198
00:10:24,660 --> 00:10:28,059
# You can be slow or fast
but you must get to the line
199
00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:30,579
# They'll always hit you
and hurt you
200
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:32,019
# Defend and attack
201
00:10:32,020 --> 00:10:35,859
# There's only one way to beat
them and that's around the back
202
00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:40,419
# So catch me if you can
Cos I'm the England man
203
00:10:40,420 --> 00:10:41,939
# Du-uh duh... #
204
00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:44,260
Oh, what is it? What is it?
205
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:49,659
# Three lions on my chest
You know we can't go wrong
206
00:10:49,660 --> 00:10:51,099
# We're singing for England
207
00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:52,499
# EN-GER-LAND! #
208
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,539
Bra bra bra-bra-bra
209
00:10:54,540 --> 00:10:58,419
Brap brap brap brap!
Boo! Boo!
210
00:10:58,420 --> 00:10:59,939
What time we leavin'? Fourish?
211
00:10:59,940 --> 00:11:02,539
You eaten? Had some crunchy nuts.
Want some more?
212
00:11:02,540 --> 00:11:07,740
You having some?
Don't mind if I do.
ALL: Don't mind if I don't!
213
00:11:09,980 --> 00:11:12,739
There you are, luv.
214
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:16,379
Did you want some lunch or
something? Maybe. What you havin'?
215
00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:18,020
Ooh, I dunno.
216
00:11:20,140 --> 00:11:22,179
SAME TIME: An omelette?
An omelette?
217
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:23,819
Yeah.
Yeah.
218
00:11:23,820 --> 00:11:26,819
All right, Stace? Hiya!
Got any batteries, Gwen?
219
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,299
I don't know, what sort?
220
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:30,379
Two double A's.
I don't think I have.
221
00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:34,179
I'll take 'em out the remote, then.
You can have 'em back in ten.
222
00:11:34,180 --> 00:11:37,820
What you doin'?
Just havin' a bit of me time.
223
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,659
Any news on the job or the flat?
224
00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:44,339
Not really. It's gettin' me down
a bit to be honest.
225
00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:46,299
Is it, luv?
I thought you seemed low.
226
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:48,379
I think I'm just missin' home, I am.
227
00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:51,659
It'd be all right if I had a job.
I know. It must be ever so hard.
228
00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:54,819
I'm with Pam all day.
She tries her best.
229
00:11:54,820 --> 00:11:56,979
We go fencin' and karate and stuff
230
00:11:56,980 --> 00:12:00,979
but all I seem to do is sit around
waitin' for Gavin to come home.
231
00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:02,659
I just feel a bit useless.
232
00:12:02,660 --> 00:12:04,379
Oh, come on now.
233
00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:07,339
You made the choice to live there.
You gotta give it time.
234
00:12:07,340 --> 00:12:09,539
I don't think I did.
I just went along.
235
00:12:09,540 --> 00:12:12,339
Livin' here was never an option,
Gavin wouldn't...
236
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:15,459
Cheers for that, Gwen. I didn't
need it in the end, as it goes.
237
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:17,339
So what's occurring, Stace?
238
00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:19,019
She's not feelin' too good.
239
00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:20,819
No, I'm fine. Really, I am.
240
00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:23,459
D'you tell her about the card?
241
00:12:23,460 --> 00:12:26,819
No! Guess who I got a
card from this mornin'? Who?
242
00:12:26,820 --> 00:12:28,459
BOTH: Jean! No!
243
00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:30,419
Yes! The cheek of the woman!
244
00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:32,579
I put it straight in the bin
and thought,
245
00:12:32,580 --> 00:12:35,900
"If I see that evil witch,
God knows what I'll say."
246
00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:44,779
Best thing you can do is go up,
be polite, give her a kiss.
247
00:12:44,780 --> 00:12:45,859
A kiss? A kiss?!
248
00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:49,299
I didn't kiss her when we did it!
I've never kissed her!
249
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:51,139
Bloody hell, Smithy, your life!
250
00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:54,579
Maybe you're meant
to be together. Oh, do me a flavour!
251
00:12:54,580 --> 00:12:56,419
There's obviously an attraction.
252
00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:58,259
No, there isn't. Is there, Gav?
253
00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:02,179
No. There is no attraction between
him and the mother of his child.
254
00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:03,939
Well, a sexual connection then.
255
00:13:03,940 --> 00:13:06,699
You've obviously got
a sexual connection.
256
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:08,379
Loose connection more like.
257
00:13:08,380 --> 00:13:11,259
I haven't got any money for
the bridge. You got any cash?
258
00:13:11,260 --> 00:13:12,579
I got a couple of quid.
259
00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:14,779
Don't they take cards?
Nah, cash only.
260
00:13:14,780 --> 00:13:17,179
What?
Who doesn't take cards nowadays?
261
00:13:17,180 --> 00:13:22,019
It's ridiculous. Everywhere takes
cards. Drive-thrus, Nando's,
if it's over a fiver.
262
00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:24,059
They take cards on the M6 toll.
Do they?
263
00:13:24,060 --> 00:13:26,819
I've got three quid and some
shrapnel. How much is it?
264
00:13:26,820 --> 00:13:27,939
Five pound ten.
265
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:30,539
BOTH: Five pound ten pence!
266
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:33,580
I mean, why not make it
either five or six?
267
00:13:51,660 --> 00:13:53,659
All right, Ness?
268
00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:56,499
All right, Dave? You're lookin good.
269
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:58,979
Cheers. What you drinkin'?
270
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:02,059
A Capri Sun. Maybe I'll join you.
271
00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:04,019
Maybe you should.
272
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:05,900
Maybe I will.
273
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:14,579
I've said to people,
7.45 is the cut-off.
274
00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:19,699
She's getting here at eight so if
you can't by here by quarter to,
then leave it till quarter past.
275
00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:25,179
That way there'll be no shenanigans.
No danger of her bumping into anyone
in the car park or what have you.
276
00:14:25,180 --> 00:14:30,059
What in God's name is Jean doin'
here, Bryn? She just staggered in.
277
00:14:30,060 --> 00:14:34,059
I know. I invited her, all right?
What? You dickhead.
278
00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:37,539
Doris, I was low on numbers.
I had no choice.
279
00:14:37,540 --> 00:14:42,259
I hope to God Gwen hasn't
had a drink when she sees her
cos there'll be all hell to pay.
280
00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:45,659
Please don't stress me out.
I'm a nervous wreck as it is.
281
00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:47,499
We'll just have to keep them apart.
282
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:49,939
Oh, chillax, Bryn.
Get a beer down you.
283
00:14:49,940 --> 00:14:52,380
I'm not gonna stir things up.
284
00:14:52,820 --> 00:14:55,340
Thanks, Dor. I appreciate it.
285
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:59,260
Jean!
286
00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:03,419
Oh, my God, look at you!
Nice outfit, Bryn!
287
00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:04,899
Howdy pardners!
288
00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:06,619
Welcome to the ho...
289
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:09,339
I can't do the accent, Pam.
It's this get-up.
290
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:11,539
I feel like I want to be called Tex.
291
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:13,539
Well, you look lovely, darlin'!
292
00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:16,619
All it is, right, I put it
together myself, it isn't hired.
293
00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:20,259
I bought the hat, this is just
a big hanky and these...
294
00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:24,299
these are just a pair
of denim jeans, Mick.
295
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,459
I feel like a member of Bewitched.
296
00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:28,339
So where are the boys?
297
00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:30,780
They're just outside. What?
298
00:15:31,820 --> 00:15:34,059
What are you doin'?
All right, Bryn.
299
00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:37,419
Hey, it's Woody from Toy Story!
Don't get smart with me, Columbo.
300
00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:40,139
What if Gwen and Stacey went by
and saw you two? Eh?
301
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:43,739
What? Get inside. Now!
302
00:15:43,740 --> 00:15:45,500
Come on!
303
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,819
Have I got time for the loo? NO!
304
00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:51,900
Bloody hell, Bryn!
305
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:56,299
Look, no-one is going to
ruin this surprise, all right?
306
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:59,739
Bryn, calm down, mate,
you'll give yourself a heart attack.
307
00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:02,059
Ted! What the hell are you doin'?!
Get in here!
308
00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:03,179
Sorry, I'm late.
309
00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:04,819
Right...
310
00:16:04,820 --> 00:16:09,259
If anyone is expecting friends, will
you please phone them and explain...?
311
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:14,539
What it was, they've closed Plassey
Street, see, and there's no
diversion and I was bursting...
312
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,659
Oh, Lord, they're here.
313
00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:20,819
Right, everybody, into position.
Doris, lights. Band, stage.
314
00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:22,899
Ted! Please be quiet.
315
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:25,219
Everybody stand still,
nobody make a sound!
316
00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:27,980
SCREAMS: Ted! Shut up!
317
00:16:33,300 --> 00:16:37,179
Jesus! Look at the size of that.
Well, she is six months pregnant.
318
00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:40,460
I know but come on,
that's ridiculous.
319
00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:43,659
She's lookin at me, right at me.
320
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:46,540
So? Shit.
321
00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:50,019
SURPRISE!
322
00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:52,099
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
323
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:55,339
SURPRISE! SURPRISE!
324
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:58,819
SURPRISE! SURPRISE! SURPRISE!
325
00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:00,419
SURPRISE!
326
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:01,659
YES!
327
00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:04,459
Get this on, birthday girl!
328
00:17:04,460 --> 00:17:07,059
AMERICAN ACCENT: You're havin'
a barn dance.
329
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:08,739
LAUGHTER
330
00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:12,260
Oh, thank you so much!
331
00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:17,459
What the hell is Jean doin' here?!
332
00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:22,299
OK, is everybody happy with that?
I'll give you two minutes
to sort yourselves out.
333
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:24,139
I'll never get the hang of this.
334
00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:26,619
Yes, you will! Course you will.
335
00:17:26,620 --> 00:17:30,419
It's in, out, walk, walk, walk.
336
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:33,299
In, out, walk, walk, walk.
337
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,739
Are you all right
with that now, Dor? Yes.
338
00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:37,739
And are you partnered up?
339
00:17:37,740 --> 00:17:42,019
Oh, Ted, for Christ's sake, change
the record. You're just needy man.
340
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:43,379
I was only askin'.
341
00:17:43,380 --> 00:17:46,699
Only askin'. You're only pokin' me
every day on Facebook.
342
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:50,299
You're only followin' me round
Costcutter, or Lidl... It's just...
343
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:52,579
No. We were never exclusive.
344
00:17:52,580 --> 00:17:56,659
And I don't need this heavy shit.
So, shut up and show me the moves.
345
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,659
Sorry, Pam.
346
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,539
Mick, what am I gonna do about that?
347
00:18:01,540 --> 00:18:04,659
Well, you could try
calling her Nessa for a start.
348
00:18:04,660 --> 00:18:08,259
But what do I say?
How do I play this?
349
00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:09,419
I dunno.
350
00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:12,099
Oh, come on, you've done this
loads of times. Eh?
351
00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:14,619
Everyone knows you were
a dirty dog in your day.
352
00:18:14,620 --> 00:18:16,139
Just play it cool, trigger.
353
00:18:16,140 --> 00:18:18,659
Are you part of this formation
or what?
354
00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:24,819
Yeah, sorry. Look, just, go up,
ask about the baby, break
the ice, that's all you need to do.
355
00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:27,820
Mick...you're a dream.
356
00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:34,620
Hi.
357
00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:36,059
All right?
358
00:18:36,060 --> 00:18:39,260
Yeah, I'm good. You?
Yeah. Good.
359
00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:46,579
This is Dave. Do you know Dave?
No. Hello, mate.
360
00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:48,420
Smithy. All right?
361
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:58,819
So, is everything all right with...?
362
00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:02,140
Yeah. Good. Great.
363
00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:06,300
Right, well.
I'll see you in a bit, then.
364
00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:10,619
And the look on her face when
she walked through that door.
365
00:19:10,620 --> 00:19:12,259
She wasn't happy to see Jean.
366
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:15,899
Now, this whole Jean thing is
getting out of hand. Who's Jean?
367
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:19,419
You know, the one with
Mum and the scissors.
She's HERE? Oh, my God!!
368
00:19:19,420 --> 00:19:21,379
Who's Dave?
What's with him and her?
369
00:19:21,380 --> 00:19:24,779
They're just friends. They've always
liked each other an' that.
370
00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:28,579
Friends with benefits,
I think they call it, Smithy!
371
00:19:28,580 --> 00:19:32,619
Oh, my God. Jean's heading
for your mother. Jean! Jean!
372
00:19:32,620 --> 00:19:34,619
I'm gonna do some shots.
Want some?
373
00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:36,980
Smithy, are you jealous?
374
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:40,219
Pff! No. I feel for the bloke.
Couple of sambuccas?
375
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:43,860
Nah, we gotta get up early
and drive back. All right.
376
00:19:44,340 --> 00:19:47,299
What you on about? We were gonna
stay the whole weekend.
377
00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:48,979
I want to get back
and so do Mum and Dad.
378
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:51,419
Great, so I don't get
any time with anyone?
379
00:19:51,420 --> 00:19:53,779
You're seein' everyone tonight,
aren't you?
380
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:56,019
Hardly. I've not even
spoken to Ness.
381
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:58,619
That isn't my fault.
I'd like to spend time at home.
382
00:19:58,620 --> 00:20:00,939
You had all day.
You didn't leave till four.
383
00:20:00,940 --> 00:20:03,779
God. I didn't realise it
was such a big deal! It is!
384
00:20:03,780 --> 00:20:05,019
Stay here then. What?
385
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:06,619
Don't come back with us.
386
00:20:06,620 --> 00:20:08,299
And are you happy with that?
387
00:20:08,300 --> 00:20:11,900
Well, you don't have anything
to rush back for.
388
00:20:13,860 --> 00:20:18,459
OK, are we all ready? Gents, put
your ladies on your right-hand side.
389
00:20:18,460 --> 00:20:19,899
MUSIC STARTS
390
00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:24,019
Jump out...in...one, two, three
391
00:20:24,020 --> 00:20:28,619
and turn, out...in...
one, two, three.
392
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,419
Right arm.
393
00:20:30,420 --> 00:20:32,620
And the left arm.
394
00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:35,179
Clap to your partner...
395
00:20:35,180 --> 00:20:38,539
Together,
right, together, left,
396
00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:42,139
together, right,
together, left, and dozy doe.
397
00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:44,180
Swing your partner.
398
00:20:46,660 --> 00:20:48,699
Now keep those movements
in your mind,
399
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:52,059
because you're gonna
do them again in a minute.
400
00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:54,899
Here's Doris to tell you more
about it. Welcome, Doris!
401
00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:57,539
APPLAUSE
402
00:20:57,540 --> 00:21:03,099
Now, we've got a special guest
for this number,
well, two special guests
403
00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:07,379
who haven't performed together
since Judith's funeral in '96.
404
00:21:07,380 --> 00:21:10,419
Let's hear it for Bryn and Nessa!
405
00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:14,300
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
406
00:21:16,940 --> 00:21:18,619
Thank you very much, everyone.
407
00:21:18,620 --> 00:21:20,779
Gwen, this one is for you.
408
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:27,339
It was you and Trevor's
favourite song and it is dedicated
to the pair of you.
409
00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:30,419
And as a footnote to that
I'd just like to add,
410
00:21:30,420 --> 00:21:33,979
that I'm not just singing
this for you, Gwen, or Trevor.
411
00:21:33,980 --> 00:21:38,059
I was but now I'm singing it
for another someone special,
412
00:21:38,060 --> 00:21:43,859
who's come back into my life
recently and I wanna thank him
for everything he's done.
413
00:21:43,860 --> 00:21:46,259
So this is for you...
414
00:21:46,260 --> 00:21:48,980
Dave.
415
00:21:56,180 --> 00:22:01,019
# Baby, when I met you
There was peace, I know
416
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:05,859
# I set out to get you
With a fine tooth comb
417
00:22:05,860 --> 00:22:12,060
# I was soft inside
There was something going on
418
00:22:14,620 --> 00:22:20,499
# You did something to me
that I can't explain
419
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:24,979
# Hold me closer and I feel no pain
420
00:22:24,980 --> 00:22:31,460
# Every beat of my heart
we've got something going on
421
00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:35,339
# Tender love is blind
422
00:22:35,340 --> 00:22:38,779
# It requires a dedication.
423
00:22:38,780 --> 00:22:43,259
# All this love we feel
Needs no conversation
424
00:22:43,260 --> 00:22:47,339
# We ride it together
Uh-huh
425
00:22:47,340 --> 00:22:52,019
# Making love with each other
Uh-huh
426
00:22:52,020 --> 00:22:56,659
# Islands in the stream
That is what we are
427
00:22:56,660 --> 00:23:01,099
# No one in between
How can we be wrong?
428
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:06,219
# Sail away with me
To another world
429
00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:10,779
# And we'll rely on each other
Uh-huh
430
00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:16,340
# From one lover to another
Uh... #
431
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:30,580
Hello, Jason.
432
00:23:30,980 --> 00:23:33,700
Uncle Bryn.
433
00:23:34,260 --> 00:23:37,459
So when you going back?
Oh, thanks! I've only just got here!
434
00:23:37,460 --> 00:23:38,899
You know what I meant!
435
00:23:38,900 --> 00:23:40,659
A couple of weeks,
if that's OK.
436
00:23:40,660 --> 00:23:43,419
Oh. But I'm not down again
till the end of the month.
437
00:23:43,420 --> 00:23:45,819
Well, maybe I could come up
and see you. Yeah.
438
00:23:45,820 --> 00:23:47,899
Well, I'll have to check with Pam,
maybe.
439
00:23:47,900 --> 00:23:50,299
Yes, Gay Jay! Wooo!
440
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:53,459
I tell you what, I am loving the
barn dancing. I'm all over it.
441
00:23:53,460 --> 00:23:55,779
All right, Smithy. Hiya, Gav.
How's it going?
442
00:23:55,780 --> 00:23:57,419
I was thinking about you...
443
00:23:57,420 --> 00:23:59,819
We're just heading out for a fag,
actually.
444
00:23:59,820 --> 00:24:01,659
A fag-leje, Jean Peterson! Adieu.
445
00:24:01,660 --> 00:24:03,899
See you in a bit, then.
446
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:05,699
So, how you findin' the...
447
00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:08,620
Hang on a minute, Jase.
448
00:24:09,580 --> 00:24:10,939
You could have warned me!
449
00:24:10,940 --> 00:24:13,819
He's my brother! He should be here!
450
00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:17,179
I thought of inviting him
but I didn't think he'd come.
451
00:24:17,180 --> 00:24:20,539
He's gay. It's a barn dance.
Of course he's gonna come.
452
00:24:20,540 --> 00:24:23,979
I know what they're all thinking,
I can hear them whispering.
453
00:24:23,980 --> 00:24:26,459
Four times I heard the words,
"fishing trip".
454
00:24:26,460 --> 00:24:29,659
Now you're being paranoid!
No-one knows about that.
455
00:24:29,660 --> 00:24:32,379
That bloody fishin' trip, Bryn.
456
00:24:32,380 --> 00:24:36,380
When's it gonna end, eh? Night, all.
457
00:24:42,300 --> 00:24:45,940
Gav, I need to talk to you. Yeah?
458
00:24:46,540 --> 00:24:49,139
On our own.
459
00:24:49,140 --> 00:24:51,020
Yeah.
460
00:24:56,020 --> 00:24:58,540
So I have to go, do I? Hideous.
461
00:25:00,820 --> 00:25:02,979
What's up? You OK? Not really, no.
462
00:25:02,980 --> 00:25:05,699
Oh, sorry. Do you really
mind me going back early?
463
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:08,379
Jason was tryin' to talk to you
and you ignored him.
464
00:25:08,380 --> 00:25:09,819
No, I didn't. I said hello.
465
00:25:09,820 --> 00:25:12,539
And you said you'd come down with me
this morning,
466
00:25:12,540 --> 00:25:14,619
and for some reason
changed your mind.
467
00:25:14,620 --> 00:25:17,059
Oh, come on. You're over-reacting.
Am I?
468
00:25:17,060 --> 00:25:19,659
See. I don't think I am.
469
00:25:19,660 --> 00:25:22,539
Cos since we got married,
my family and my home,
470
00:25:22,540 --> 00:25:25,459
is just not important any more.
Of course it is.
471
00:25:25,460 --> 00:25:29,059
And I don't think you realise
how much I miss bein' here, Gav.
Cos I do.
472
00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:31,019
I really miss it, every day.
473
00:25:31,020 --> 00:25:32,659
Aw, come here. I'm sorry.
474
00:25:32,660 --> 00:25:34,779
No, I'm pissed off!
475
00:25:34,780 --> 00:25:38,779
I was looking forward to tonight.
It's all that's kept me going.
476
00:25:38,780 --> 00:25:43,419
But you don't care, cos you've got
your home, your family,
nothing's changed for you.
477
00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:48,459
When we get our own place...
We're not getting our own place.
I don't wanna live with Mum and Dad.
478
00:25:48,460 --> 00:25:53,099
If we were gonna rent it'd be
something. I don't want to rent.
It's just throwing money away.
479
00:25:53,100 --> 00:25:55,619
You keep saying that.
I'm just looking ahead.
480
00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:57,659
Gavin, you're so busy
looking ahead
481
00:25:57,660 --> 00:26:01,260
that you can't even see
what's happening today, now!
482
00:26:02,940 --> 00:26:05,540
What's this all about?
483
00:26:06,820 --> 00:26:09,019
I feel like I'm all on my own.
484
00:26:09,020 --> 00:26:10,219
What?
485
00:26:10,220 --> 00:26:12,620
I'm really lonely.
486
00:26:14,300 --> 00:26:16,339
I think it's better if I stay.
487
00:26:16,340 --> 00:26:19,099
That's what you need.
A couple of days. Jason's here.
488
00:26:19,100 --> 00:26:22,219
No. I think it's better
if I stay here.
489
00:26:22,220 --> 00:26:25,059
I'm sorry, Gav,
but I'm not coming back.
490
00:26:25,060 --> 00:26:27,099
That's what I mean. It'll do you
good
491
00:26:27,100 --> 00:26:31,619
and I'll pick you up on Friday...
Gavin, you're not listenin' to me.
492
00:26:31,620 --> 00:26:34,180
I don't want to live there any more.
493
00:26:35,900 --> 00:26:39,260
I'm moving back home.
36606
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