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1
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TELEPHONE RINGS
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00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:13,139
Hiya! Are you not up yet?
3
00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:15,819
What time is it? Nearly eleven.
4
00:00:15,820 --> 00:00:21,339
It's not! That means I've slept for
almost, like, nearly eleven hours!
5
00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:23,619
All right for some!
What you up to today?
6
00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:27,899
I dunno, really. Can't you come home
and get into bed with me?
7
00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:30,899
I'd love to, but I sort
of have to stay here. Oh!
8
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:36,659
I'm sorry, baby, it's just...
It's not you. I just got another
rejection letter. Which one?
9
00:00:36,660 --> 00:00:39,619
The one at that car place.
You didn't want that one, anyway.
10
00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:42,979
Exactly. I can't even get
the jobs I DON'T want.
11
00:00:42,980 --> 00:00:44,579
D'you think it's cos I'm Welsh?
12
00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:47,859
Don't be silly!
Look, you just gotta keep going.
13
00:00:47,860 --> 00:00:52,299
Get on the internet
and start looking now. I will.
I'll do it right now.
14
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:55,140
Straight after Loose Women.
15
00:00:59,620 --> 00:01:02,379
Hiya! Hiya!
16
00:01:02,380 --> 00:01:05,619
All right? Yeah. How was karate?
17
00:01:05,620 --> 00:01:08,379
It's jujitsu, darling.
What's the difference?
18
00:01:08,380 --> 00:01:10,339
It's a non-combative martial art.
19
00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:14,219
We are defensive, they are offensive.
20
00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:17,859
But, I tell you what, Sue - you
know Sue? Big fat Sue... Big fat Sue.
21
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:21,139
She didn't half give me a wallop.
I said to her, "Oi!
22
00:01:21,140 --> 00:01:24,699
"What's defensive about that?"
You've had your breakfast, then?
23
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:27,459
Well, sort of.
I had a brunch, I did.
24
00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:31,739
Oh, I got up so late
cos I set the alarm for ten but
I didn't get up till gone eleven.
25
00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:35,139
And I thought,
"I'm too early for lunch
and too late for breakfast,"
26
00:01:35,140 --> 00:01:36,979
so I just had a banana.
27
00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:40,659
But, if anything, that made me
more hungry so I ended up having
28
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:43,899
a sandwich, some cereal and a
yoghurt, which is brunch, isn't it?
29
00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:47,379
So I rang my mum and I said, "I've
just had my first ever brunch!"
30
00:01:47,380 --> 00:01:49,579
I'm not being funny, Stacey,
but get a life.
31
00:01:49,580 --> 00:01:51,819
What you said just now
was really boring.
32
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:54,659
I mean, I can jabber with
the best of them, but that?
33
00:01:54,660 --> 00:01:56,459
I switched off at the end of banana.
34
00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:59,579
Sorry.
You wanna get out of the house.
35
00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:03,939
I know! Why don't you come
fencing with me tomorrow.
Because you know Pat?
36
00:02:03,940 --> 00:02:06,059
Fat No More Pat? Fat No More Pat.
37
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:09,939
She can't come
cos she's having her staples out.
You could make up the numbers.
38
00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:13,779
Oh, I'd love to but we're going
Barry, aren't we? Oh, God, the scan!
39
00:02:13,780 --> 00:02:16,179
What's the latest
with Smithy and Lucy?
40
00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:18,859
Last we heard, he was gonna meet her
after Guides
41
00:02:18,860 --> 00:02:22,819
and try and win her back,
but we've not heard from him since.
TELEPHONE RINGS
42
00:02:22,820 --> 00:02:25,259
Hiya, Ness!
"Alrigh' Stace, what's occurring?"
43
00:02:25,260 --> 00:02:27,619
Nothing much.
I'm a bit bored, to be honest.
44
00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:31,059
What's this I hear about a brunch?
"Oh, it was lush!"
45
00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:35,859
Right, I had a banana but
I was still hungry, so I ended up
having some cereal and a yoghurt...
46
00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:38,500
Bear with me, Stace. Oh!
47
00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:42,820
Oh!
48
00:02:43,860 --> 00:02:47,260
Oh!
49
00:02:48,020 --> 00:02:49,660
Oh!
50
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:56,100
Oh!
51
00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:01,260
Oh!
52
00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:06,940
Oh!
53
00:03:07,380 --> 00:03:08,779
Oh!
54
00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:10,939
What does that sign say?
55
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,499
"Peidiwch a chyffwrdd
a'r peiriannau."
56
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:16,940
Now sling yer hook,
or I'll break your face!
57
00:03:22,180 --> 00:03:25,259
Stace, I gotta go.
It's mayhem down here.
58
00:03:25,260 --> 00:03:27,260
But hang on...
59
00:03:28,340 --> 00:03:32,340
Right, that's got to get to
Guildford by first thing
tomorrow, OK?
60
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:40,060
TELEPHONE RINGS
61
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:43,979
Hello, Gavin speaking.
62
00:03:43,980 --> 00:03:48,459
Yeah, don't worry.
Joel's gonna Fed Ex it so it
gets there by first thing tomorrow.
63
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:50,219
Yeah.
64
00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:52,619
Yeah...
65
00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:55,299
Brian, can I call you back?
66
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:57,300
Cheers.
67
00:04:00,660 --> 00:04:03,020
What you doing here?
68
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:15,940
HE WAILS
69
00:04:30,660 --> 00:04:32,980
Come on, let's go and get a coffee.
70
00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:38,379
D'you know what she said?
71
00:04:38,380 --> 00:04:40,179
She said she was relieved!
72
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:43,379
Relieved I'm fathering
someone else's child!
73
00:04:43,380 --> 00:04:45,459
You know why, don't you? Why?
74
00:04:45,460 --> 00:04:48,019
Cos it turns out...
75
00:04:48,020 --> 00:04:52,099
For the past three months,
she's been seein' someone else!
76
00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:53,779
Who? Y'know that Craig...
77
00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:56,979
The one who washed my car on
Bob-a-Job week, with the acne?
78
00:04:56,980 --> 00:05:00,339
Started running the tuck shop
together didn't they, youth club?
79
00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:05,819
I knew something was going on.
She started comin' home with shrimps,
cola bottles, astro belts.
80
00:05:05,820 --> 00:05:09,059
Guilt sweets, they were, Gav.
Guilt sweets.
81
00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:12,299
But with all them activities and
seein' you, how'd she fit it all in?
82
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:14,899
Oh, she's been
fitting it all in, all right.
83
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:17,779
Apparently she's got more in common
with him, youth theatre.
84
00:05:17,780 --> 00:05:20,459
I said, "I'll go to youth
theatre." Know what she said?
85
00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:22,659
What? The cut off's 22.
86
00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:26,180
He's 21, Gav.
How does that make me feel?
87
00:05:28,340 --> 00:05:31,819
I've been thinking about ending
it all, to be honest. Suicide.
88
00:05:31,820 --> 00:05:34,460
What? Big time.
89
00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:38,699
How many Neurofen would I need
to finish me off?
90
00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,819
You? You'd need hundreds.
91
00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:45,300
I can't afford, that, can I? Not if
I'm gonna have an 'oliday this year.
92
00:05:56,460 --> 00:05:58,579
Do you ever get bored workin here?
93
00:05:58,580 --> 00:06:01,659
No. I find it fascinatin'.
94
00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:04,060
I'm a people-watcher, Bryn.
95
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,939
I get you!
96
00:06:06,940 --> 00:06:09,859
I see every thread
of life's rich tapestry
97
00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:14,459
in between these three walls,
the whole spectrum of human emotion.
98
00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:16,859
The whole gamut.
99
00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:19,979
I see victory, I see defeat.
100
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:25,220
Anticipation,
emancipation and demoralisation -
and that's just on the fruities.
101
00:06:30,740 --> 00:06:33,139
Can I ask you a question?
102
00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:35,339
Go for it.
103
00:06:35,340 --> 00:06:37,179
The Penny Falls.
104
00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:40,139
Are they fixed? What do you reckon?
105
00:06:40,140 --> 00:06:42,139
My heart says no,
106
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:44,099
but my head says it must be.
107
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:46,939
I mean, is it magnets?
Copper's not magnetic, Bryn.
108
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,179
Then are they glued?
Because it's something.
109
00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:53,019
I could tell you...
I know, but you'd have to kill me.
110
00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:56,740
No, I just don't want to. Now,
we practising this song or what?
111
00:06:59,180 --> 00:07:00,579
# I
112
00:07:00,580 --> 00:07:02,779
# I
113
00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:06,979
# Know I stand in line,
until you think you have the time
114
00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:11,339
# To spend an evening with me
Evening with me
115
00:07:11,340 --> 00:07:15,779
# And if we go some place to dance,
I know that there's a chance
116
00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:18,459
# You won't be leaving with me
117
00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:25,540
# And afterwards we drop
into a quiet little place
and have a drink or two
118
00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:29,219
# And then I go
and spoil it all
119
00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:34,059
# By saying something stupid
like "I love you"
120
00:07:34,060 --> 00:07:37,939
# I love you
121
00:07:37,940 --> 00:07:40,780
# I love
122
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:44,780
# You. #
123
00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:49,540
Well, it's all right, but I still
think Islands in the Stream.
124
00:07:50,740 --> 00:07:52,499
Never seen him like that before.
125
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,579
He was really bad.
126
00:07:54,580 --> 00:07:57,619
Poor sod. He's been through the mill
these last two weeks.
127
00:07:57,620 --> 00:08:01,059
Well, I'm glad he's got you
to talk to, cos he can't talk
to his mother.
128
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:03,539
You've not met Cath, have you, Stace?
No.
129
00:08:03,540 --> 00:08:06,579
The woman is a mess.
She's not that bad! She's all right!
130
00:08:06,580 --> 00:08:10,219
Michael, she is the reason
that boy is B-I-G.
131
00:08:10,220 --> 00:08:12,139
I mean, the sister is like that...
132
00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:15,339
Here we go. Which doesn't add up,
because when they were little,
133
00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:19,179
she used to stuff both of them
with Findus Crispy Pancakes,
134
00:08:19,180 --> 00:08:21,980
gorge on a load herself and then...
135
00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:27,739
Every day. And she's a dinner lady.
Well, she was. She quit.
136
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:30,859
When it all kicked off with
the headteacher. What happened?
137
00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:32,979
Well, you're not
going to believe it...
138
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:37,259
Not this again. Mum, it wasn't true!
Apparently they were... Y'know?
139
00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:39,659
Smithy's mum and the headmaster?
Mistress!
140
00:08:39,660 --> 00:08:42,299
Mistress. Headmistress! No!
141
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:46,019
Yes! Hammer and tong.
Pauline, her name was.
142
00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:48,179
Married to a lovely man, Dennis.
143
00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:51,299
For the love of Mike,
where do you get these stories?
144
00:08:51,300 --> 00:08:52,979
It is true, on my life.
145
00:08:52,980 --> 00:08:55,539
Jan, you've not met Jan -
No-Man Jan?
146
00:08:55,540 --> 00:08:58,579
No-Man Jan. She worked there
an' all, in the canteen.
147
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:02,259
She says they were all over
one another like a rash.
148
00:09:02,260 --> 00:09:06,539
Really? Yeah. And then Cath ends it,
says she's not that way inclined,
149
00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:11,139
says it was only a frisson,
and suddenly Cath's's not
got a job there any more.
150
00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:15,539
So she threatens to report it
to the board of governors
and, before you know it,
151
00:09:15,540 --> 00:09:19,099
hey presto, she's got a healthy lump
of mullah in her back pocket,
152
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,739
and Dennis is none the wiser,
bless him.
153
00:09:21,740 --> 00:09:26,019
That story is the biggest load
of rubbish I've ever heard.
When are you gonna learn?
154
00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:30,860
You cannot trust No-Man Jan. That's
why she's been divorced three times.
155
00:09:31,260 --> 00:09:34,340
It's true.
156
00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:53,020
DOORBELL RINGS
157
00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:58,939
Gavlar!
Smithstar-Sistar! How's it going?
158
00:09:58,940 --> 00:10:00,659
Not bad, thanks. You? I'm good.
159
00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:02,939
This is Stacey. Hiya!
160
00:10:02,940 --> 00:10:06,019
All right. Heard a lot about you.
Heard a lot about you, too.
161
00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,419
I'm Rudi. You can call me Smithy.
OK.
162
00:10:08,420 --> 00:10:11,060
Come in, he's still packing.
163
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:15,939
This Nessa bird's a mate of yours,
then, is she, Stace?
164
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:17,899
Yeah, my best friend for ten years.
165
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:20,819
She was my third-best friend
for two years before that,
166
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,219
so I've known her, for about
12 years. All right?
167
00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:25,019
Man, I was absolutely wankered.
168
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:27,939
Did you see Cherice? I know!
169
00:10:27,940 --> 00:10:30,980
Ah, shut up! Shut up!
170
00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:35,179
All right, yeah, I gotta go. Aaah!
171
00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:37,299
Yeah.
172
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:40,259
Can I get you a drink or anything?
Rudi, where's mum?
173
00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:42,619
She's gone for lunch at Pauline's.
174
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,619
Gavlar! All right, mate?
175
00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:47,220
How's it going? Good.
176
00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:50,179
Why aren't you doin' it?
177
00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:54,340
I just sort of did it. When? When we
came in. With Smithy... I mean Rudi.
178
00:10:56,580 --> 00:10:59,459
What was our agreement?
179
00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:03,699
Don't shrug in my face.
The deal was your friends
can call you Smithy, but my mates -
180
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:06,339
aka Gav, Budgie,
Chinese, y'know, the crew -
181
00:11:06,340 --> 00:11:08,979
they call you Rudi which is,
in fact, your name.
182
00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:11,899
And your name's Ruth,
so you still got a nickname,
183
00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:17,299
it's just not Smithy, which you only
decided you wanted everyone to call
you to annoy me. Not true, but go on.
184
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:21,179
And, as for the robot, that is all
mine. Me and Gav, we invented it.
185
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:22,979
You didn't invent the robot. Gav?
186
00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:26,019
Back me up? Well, we do it, but I
don't think we invented robotics.
187
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,059
No, but... Did you invent robotics?
188
00:11:28,060 --> 00:11:30,099
No, but... Did you invent the robot?
189
00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:32,459
That's not what I'm...
It's a simple question,
190
00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:34,499
did you invent the robot? No...
You said you did.
191
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:36,819
Did you not say you invented
the robot? You're a dick!
192
00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:40,099
You're a dick! You're a dick!
You're a dick! Oh, God. "Oh, God."
193
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,499
You're gonna do this now?
"You're gonna do this now?"
194
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:45,539
Yeah, how old are you? 12?
"Yeah, how old are you? 12?"
195
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:48,579
First time you've met Stacey...
"First time you've met Stacey..."
196
00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:50,619
THEY SHOUT AT EACH OTHER
197
00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:52,019
Right... Agh!
198
00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:53,659
Get off me!
199
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:55,899
THEY STRUGGLE
200
00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:58,540
Get off me! You're a dick!
201
00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:03,339
HE SCREAMS
202
00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:05,539
And this man is soon to be
a father. Shocking.
203
00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:07,899
Should we stop them?
No, they're always like this.
204
00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:09,499
Are you a dickhead? No!
205
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,139
Are you a dickhead? Piss off!
206
00:12:11,140 --> 00:12:13,859
Did I invent the robot? Yes!
Who invented the robot? YOU!
207
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:17,179
Thank you! Come on, Gav.
Let's bounce.
TELEPHONE RINGS
208
00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:19,059
Had my fingers crossed anyway!
209
00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:21,820
See you, Rudi! Laters, Stace.
210
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:26,580
Just totally had a fight
with my brother...
211
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:39,259
All right, love. Yeah. No, we'll
be here, we're not going anywhere.
212
00:12:39,260 --> 00:12:42,539
And watch that speed camera
before the dip.
213
00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:44,459
All right.
214
00:12:44,460 --> 00:12:46,459
All right.
215
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:48,859
Of course!
216
00:12:48,860 --> 00:12:51,299
Yep.
217
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:53,099
Yep.
218
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:54,739
All right.
219
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:57,859
Bye! They're just coming into Barry.
220
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,979
Tidy. They'll be here in ten.
221
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,379
Hiya! Only me!
They're just coming into Barry.
222
00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:04,379
Right! They'll be here in ten.
223
00:13:04,380 --> 00:13:07,179
Hiya, Ness!
How's the Dow Jones looking?
224
00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:10,019
I won't lie to you, Bryn, it's
not good. FTSE's down an' all.
225
00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:13,059
That doesn't sound good.
I been on to my broker all mornin'.
226
00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:16,139
He reckons there's another Black
Monday coming. Seriously?
227
00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:18,899
I dunno, Bryn,
but even a dead cat bounces.
228
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:20,859
What you been up to?
229
00:13:20,860 --> 00:13:23,459
I've been updating the MySpace.
230
00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:25,899
I've got 17 friends now.
231
00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:27,939
I'm snowed under!
232
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:30,139
It's ever such a lot of fun.
233
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:32,059
Did you bring the pump?
234
00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:34,979
I knew I'd forgotten something!
I've left it in the car.
235
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,260
TELEPHONE RINGS
236
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:42,139
Dermot, what's occurring?
237
00:13:42,140 --> 00:13:44,379
How much?
238
00:13:44,380 --> 00:13:47,859
OK. Oh, Gwen. It's 21 pence a share.
239
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:50,139
What d'you reckon? I dunno, love.
240
00:13:50,140 --> 00:13:52,899
Look,
why don't you wait till Tokyo opens?
241
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:56,619
I hear you. Derm, I'm gonna hold off.
242
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:59,579
I'll call you later.
243
00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:01,620
Genuine.
244
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:05,500
LOCKING SYSTEM BEEPS
245
00:14:06,940 --> 00:14:09,420
CAR HORN HONKS
246
00:14:11,380 --> 00:14:13,700
Look who it is!
247
00:14:16,060 --> 00:14:19,899
Hiya! Oh, look at you!
248
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,979
You look very well. Very rested.
249
00:14:22,980 --> 00:14:24,979
All right, Bryn. How's it going?
250
00:14:24,980 --> 00:14:29,460
I'm am very good. Very well.
251
00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:33,179
All right?
How was your journey, all ri'?
252
00:14:33,180 --> 00:14:34,899
Yeah, yeah. It was good, yeah.
253
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:36,779
Here he is.
254
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:38,419
Here's my lodger, my roomy!
255
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:43,979
How are you, Bryn? All right? Now, if
it's all right with you, you're on
the sofa and I'll tell you for why.
256
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:47,939
I've turned the second bedroom
into a gym, a work-out room.
257
00:14:47,940 --> 00:14:50,499
But the sofa is ever so comfy.
Yeah, that's fine.
258
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:53,619
D'you want to bring your bag in now?
Yeah, OK. Cheers.
259
00:14:53,620 --> 00:14:55,579
Want an omelette, either of you?
260
00:14:55,580 --> 00:14:58,979
I'm all right, thanks, Gwen.
I had a big breakfast. Red pepper.
261
00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:00,939
Well, look who it is!
262
00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:03,339
Hiya!
263
00:15:03,340 --> 00:15:05,739
It's not the same without you, Stace.
264
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:07,699
Aw, thanks, Dor! Hiya, Doris.
265
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:10,499
And look at this lovely boy.
266
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:13,620
Oh, isn't he lovely? Come here, you.
267
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:18,539
You've got a great face, Gavin.
268
00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:23,139
Gorgeous. And a great pair of lips.
269
00:15:23,140 --> 00:15:24,779
Look at you!
270
00:15:24,780 --> 00:15:26,739
How's your leg?
271
00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:29,779
Oh, it's giving me terrible jip,
and this hill don't help.
272
00:15:29,780 --> 00:15:33,219
You wanna get one of them little
sit on things. What, Shopmobility?
273
00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:37,499
I won't have one, Gav. Maureen's
got one, she looks a right knob.
274
00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:43,099
Any news, Ness? 21 pence a share. I'd
sell, cut my losses, take the hit.
275
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:47,659
Not waiting for Tokyo, are you?
Yeah. They open in 40 minutes.
Should know within the hour.
276
00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:50,499
Well, you're a fool. They'll
be 16 pence before you know it.
277
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,579
That's a risk I gotta take, Dor.
278
00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:56,179
We're having a fish supper later,
fancy joining us? I would love that.
279
00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:59,099
Are you sure? Of course! You don't
want to sit in on your own!
280
00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:02,099
Hey, stop it, you!
You're a married man now!
281
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:07,819
Although if you are interested
in that sort of thing, y'know,
282
00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:09,939
I'm very open-minded.
283
00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:11,739
And discreet.
284
00:16:11,740 --> 00:16:14,500
OK?
285
00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:29,539
Where am I standing now? It's
the bus stop for Dave's Coaches.
286
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:33,379
Yeah, and what happened here
on this very spot? I don't know.
287
00:16:33,380 --> 00:16:37,219
Right, when did I drive down to
Barry, and you got off a bus, and...
288
00:16:37,220 --> 00:16:39,059
Remember? Oh, God!
289
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,899
We said "I love you." Yeah!
290
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:44,979
And I said, "If you say it first,
I'll say it back."
291
00:16:44,980 --> 00:16:49,459
No, that's what I said.
Oh, yeah! Oh, that was so long ago.
292
00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:51,099
It was only five months.
293
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:53,459
Is that all? It feels like ages.
294
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:57,219
Oh, thanks! No, I just mean
so much has changed.
295
00:16:57,220 --> 00:17:01,419
I don't live here any more,
and I just never thought I'd move
out of Barry, that's all.
296
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:03,259
I never thought I'd come back here.
297
00:17:03,260 --> 00:17:06,860
I only came down that first time
so I could shag you again.
298
00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:10,740
Gav!
299
00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:14,179
What time's your appointment?
300
00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:17,859
10.45. She's got her
first scan tomorrow, Dor.
301
00:17:17,860 --> 00:17:21,139
You're going through with it, then?
Yeah. I think you're a fool.
302
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:24,579
The worse thing that ever happened
to me, becoming a mother.
303
00:17:24,580 --> 00:17:30,659
We never connected. I kept
waiting for the mother-daughter bond,
it never arrived.
304
00:17:30,660 --> 00:17:34,099
- She was horrible, wasn't she, Gwen?
- Who, your Moira?
305
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:37,219
I was in school with her, and I don't
like to talk ill of people,
306
00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:38,979
but she was a nasty piece of work.
307
00:17:38,980 --> 00:17:40,859
She was the bane of my life.
308
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:44,659
Some days I'd see her
and I'd be filled with hate.
309
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:46,459
I'd just want to smother her.
310
00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:50,339
Fair play. They didn't have
beef and onion so I got you
a chicken and mushroom.
311
00:17:50,340 --> 00:17:53,339
Oh, that's fine, love! Doris,
d'you want to sit at the table?
312
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:56,339
No, I'm happy on my lap.
You were cod, Doris, yeah?
313
00:17:56,340 --> 00:17:59,059
That's me, love.
I'll have the smallest one you got.
314
00:17:59,060 --> 00:18:01,939
Only us! The roomies.
315
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:03,779
The Men Behaving Badly! All right?
316
00:18:03,780 --> 00:18:07,739
Your three battered sausages, and
Ness's three battered sausages.
Cheers.
317
00:18:07,740 --> 00:18:11,059
Now, Bryn, you were haddock?
That's it!
318
00:18:11,060 --> 00:18:14,899
Any salt and vinegar or anything? No,
I'm gonna wait for the curry sauce.
319
00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:17,339
Oh, what is it with the Welsh
and curry sauce?
320
00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:19,419
You don't have it, do you?
No, it's rank.
321
00:18:19,420 --> 00:18:22,459
Worse than Northerners and gravy.
What is wrong with a dry chip?
322
00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:24,499
I can't eat chips
without curry sauce.
323
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:27,939
I mean, a bit of mayonnaise
or something, fair enough.
324
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,779
But they're swimming in it.
Now, are you sure tonight
325
00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:34,699
you're gonna be all right on Bryn's
sofa? You can have my bed.
326
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,899
He's slept in worse.
Slept in a wheelbarrow once!
327
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:40,099
What's wrong with your spare room?
Of course, you won't have seen it!
328
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:44,179
I've given it a complete overhaul,
haven't I, Gwen? Oh, I'll say.
329
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:49,259
Turned it into a gym.
A state of the art fitness studio.
330
00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:51,499
Smithy's had a go.
Oh, Gav, it's incredible.
331
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,500
I been doing them, you know, the...
332
00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:59,699
And, honestly, I can feel
the difference already. Seriously.
333
00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:03,619
Well,
you'll be hurting tomorrow, my boy,
but you have to work through it.
334
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:06,539
You have to go through the barrier.
335
00:19:06,540 --> 00:19:09,979
I mean, I'm in better shape now
than I've ever been, aren't I, Gwen?
336
00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:12,619
Yeah. Smithy, put your hand there.
337
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:14,420
Gavin.
338
00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:17,539
Now then.
339
00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:20,340
That's relaxed, all right?
340
00:19:21,580 --> 00:19:23,779
Wow, amazing.
Do it again, do it again.
341
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:26,740
No, no, no... Watch now.
342
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,259
Relaxed...
343
00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:31,460
tense.
344
00:19:32,340 --> 00:19:33,939
Relaxed...
345
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,139
tense.
346
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:37,979
Soft, hard.
347
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:41,699
And that is after one month.
What d'you think, Gav?
348
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:43,939
Impressive.
I need to do something like that.
349
00:19:43,940 --> 00:19:46,779
I joined a gym a couple of years ago.
Fitness First.
350
00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:48,979
Three years I was a member.
Only went twice.
351
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:52,419
Oh, my God! Doris is dead! Shit!
352
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:54,899
No, she isn't, love,
she's just dropped off.
353
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:58,020
Doris? Dor?
354
00:19:59,340 --> 00:20:04,219
Oh! Doris! Oh!
355
00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:06,419
- I dropped off, Gwen.
- Are you all right?
356
00:20:06,420 --> 00:20:09,419
Yes, I'm fine, love,
but I think my bed is calling.
357
00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:11,539
Gavin, will you help me to my door?
358
00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:15,779
I could do with a nice
strong man like you. Erm...
359
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:18,979
- Thanks, Gav.
- Oh, I've had a lovely evening.
360
00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:20,819
Thanks so much for the company.
361
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:23,259
Stace, d'you want to come?
Why? It's only next door.
362
00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:25,819
Leave her be. Three's a crowd!
363
00:20:25,820 --> 00:20:28,499
I'll see you tomorrow, Gwen.
Night all.
364
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:30,659
Night night. Night, Doris.
Night, Doris.
365
00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:32,820
Come on, you!
366
00:20:35,260 --> 00:20:38,139
See, this is when it
hits me hardest. What?
367
00:20:38,140 --> 00:20:41,779
What? The not smoking. This is
when I'd normally have a fag.
368
00:20:41,780 --> 00:20:43,939
But you're still eating. I know.
369
00:20:43,940 --> 00:20:48,660
Two sausages, two fags,
and then come back for the third.
370
00:20:49,780 --> 00:20:51,939
Right, there you go! Thanks, Gav.
371
00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:54,939
Now you sure you don't want
to come in for a coffee?
372
00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:57,219
Nah, I'd better get back.
373
00:20:57,220 --> 00:21:01,900
All right, love.
Well, you know where I am.
374
00:21:12,780 --> 00:21:14,979
I just think it's stupid,
four of us going.
375
00:21:14,980 --> 00:21:18,979
Well, they're not a proper couple,
so they're probably glad
of us bein' there.
376
00:21:18,980 --> 00:21:20,659
I know Nessa is.
377
00:21:20,660 --> 00:21:22,539
You only want to look at babies.
378
00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:25,899
Yeah, well, it is my godchild,
Gavin. I'm only taking an interest.
379
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:28,699
She hasn't even asked you
to be Godmother yet! She will!
380
00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:31,339
Shall I bring it up
or do you want it at the table?
381
00:21:31,340 --> 00:21:33,899
I'll take it at the table, Gwen.
Cheers.
382
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:36,539
Is Smithy coming over?
Only he said he was.
383
00:21:36,540 --> 00:21:41,100
Yeah, I dunno where he is.
Shall I go and get him?
OK. Take the keys, if you like.
384
00:21:42,740 --> 00:21:46,859
Wow! All right, Ness? Don't come too
close, Gav, my breath is rank. Nice.
385
00:21:46,860 --> 00:21:49,939
No, seriously. It reeks.
386
00:21:49,940 --> 00:21:51,859
How was the airbed, all ri'?
387
00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:53,699
D'you know what? It's lush.
388
00:21:53,700 --> 00:21:57,140
I want Gav to get one,
but he thinks it's stupid.
389
00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:11,179
I can't, Bryn.
I can't do it any more. Yes, you can!
390
00:22:11,180 --> 00:22:14,419
I can't! No, I'm not like you,
I'm not strong enough!
391
00:22:14,420 --> 00:22:18,780
Come on!! No, I'm done. It's over.
392
00:22:20,860 --> 00:22:23,779
Now, you listen here,
and you listen good.
393
00:22:23,780 --> 00:22:26,299
Look at me. Smithy, look at me.
394
00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:27,939
What?!
395
00:22:27,940 --> 00:22:31,059
All that's happened here
is you've hit a wall. Right?
396
00:22:31,060 --> 00:22:33,939
And I've been there, buddy.
Oh, yeah. Big time.
397
00:22:33,940 --> 00:22:35,739
I tried to jump over it.
398
00:22:35,740 --> 00:22:39,939
No way, too high.
I tried to go under it. Uh-uh.
399
00:22:39,940 --> 00:22:41,579
And you can't get around it.
400
00:22:41,580 --> 00:22:43,259
So what are you gonna do?
401
00:22:43,260 --> 00:22:46,739
You're gonna run right through it.
402
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:49,739
Smash it!
What are you gonna do? Smash it.
403
00:22:49,740 --> 00:22:51,459
I said, "What are you gonna do?"
404
00:22:51,460 --> 00:22:54,219
I'm gonna smash it.
I can't hear you, Smithy!
405
00:22:54,220 --> 00:22:56,779
I'm gonna smash it, Bryn,
I'm gonna smash it!
406
00:22:56,780 --> 00:23:00,939
All right! That's it! Come on!
Yes! Come on!
407
00:23:00,940 --> 00:23:04,380
MUSIC: "Jump (For My Love)"
by Girls Aloud
408
00:23:09,860 --> 00:23:12,900
Go, Smithy!
409
00:23:13,380 --> 00:23:15,939
SMITHY!! Bryn!!
410
00:23:15,940 --> 00:23:19,020
Smithy. Come on, Bryn! Smithy!
411
00:23:21,060 --> 00:23:23,660
MUSIC OFF
Smithy!
412
00:23:23,940 --> 00:23:26,419
Sorry, Gav.
413
00:23:26,420 --> 00:23:29,579
Didn't see you there!
We were in the zone.
414
00:23:29,580 --> 00:23:32,299
You all right, Gavlar!
How's it going, all right? Yeah.
415
00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:35,500
Oh, man! Great session.
416
00:23:36,220 --> 00:23:38,299
Right. That's it. I'm done.
417
00:23:38,300 --> 00:23:40,579
No, no, no.
418
00:23:40,580 --> 00:23:44,379
You gotta warm down, buddy,
otherwise you'll be stiff
as a brick tomorrow.
419
00:23:44,380 --> 00:23:47,020
Come on, on your back, you.
420
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:50,899
Give us a leg.
421
00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:54,220
That's it. That's it.
422
00:23:55,380 --> 00:24:00,259
That's it. That's it.
Really relax into me.
423
00:24:00,260 --> 00:24:01,899
Push it a bit more.
424
00:24:01,900 --> 00:24:03,499
There.
TELEPHONE RINGS
425
00:24:03,500 --> 00:24:05,539
I'd better get that,
it might be Griff.
426
00:24:05,540 --> 00:24:07,499
Gav, can you take over for a minute?
427
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:09,580
Er, sure.
428
00:24:14,460 --> 00:24:16,699
What you doin'?
429
00:24:16,700 --> 00:24:19,259
Workin' out.
Why've you got your top off?
430
00:24:19,260 --> 00:24:25,139
Well, Bryn said we'd get our clothes
all sweaty. What's up? I dunno.
431
00:24:25,140 --> 00:24:29,779
It just seems weird, you and
my uncle-in-law working out with
your tops off, rubbing each other.
432
00:24:29,780 --> 00:24:33,979
No, it's not like we're
rubbing each other. It's a warm-down.
433
00:24:33,980 --> 00:24:37,819
It was Griff. Wants to book
the cross-trainer for three.
434
00:24:37,820 --> 00:24:41,699
I tell you what boys, this gym
is the talk of the street.
435
00:24:41,700 --> 00:24:44,420
I'm the new David Lloyd.
436
00:24:49,420 --> 00:24:54,699
Gwen wants to know if you're
coming over for breakfast cos we got
to be at the hospital by half ten.
437
00:24:54,700 --> 00:24:57,379
We've got breakfast sorted.
438
00:24:57,380 --> 00:24:59,539
Spirulina! What the hell's that?
439
00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,379
Plankton, it is, Gav.
440
00:25:01,380 --> 00:25:03,419
Pure vegetable plankton.
441
00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:06,019
Full of vitamins and minerals.
442
00:25:06,020 --> 00:25:08,100
Cheers.
443
00:25:10,740 --> 00:25:14,180
I love it. It's really nice.
444
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:19,060
Mrs James, please? Ruth James?
445
00:25:20,900 --> 00:25:24,939
How long's this gonna take?
Y'know, the actual scan? I dunno.
446
00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:27,219
What, no idea at all?
447
00:25:27,220 --> 00:25:29,619
No, Smithy.
I've not done this before either.
448
00:25:29,620 --> 00:25:35,300
All right! God! Jenkins?
Vanessa Jenkins? That's you!
449
00:25:36,740 --> 00:25:39,299
Is that your second name? Yes.
450
00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:41,619
See you in a bit.
How ridiculous is this?
451
00:25:41,620 --> 00:25:44,860
She's having my child,
I don't even know her surname.
452
00:25:50,540 --> 00:25:54,219
I'll tell you what I like doin',
I like lookin' at people, right,
453
00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:57,059
and guessing whether
it's gonna be a girl or a boy.
454
00:25:57,060 --> 00:25:59,099
But you'll never find out.
455
00:25:59,100 --> 00:26:02,659
Yeah, I know, so I just have
to guess the answers an' all.
456
00:26:02,660 --> 00:26:05,780
So far I've got three right
and two wrong.
457
00:26:11,500 --> 00:26:15,939
Right. Sorry to keep you.
My name's Sian and you
must be Mr Jenkins?
458
00:26:15,940 --> 00:26:17,979
No. We're not...
459
00:26:17,980 --> 00:26:22,419
I'm Mr Smith. Oh, right.
Well, who is married these days?
460
00:26:22,420 --> 00:26:24,499
Yeah, but we're not...
We're not a couple.
461
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:28,939
Oh, so you're just friends,
giving her a bit of moral support?
462
00:26:28,940 --> 00:26:31,979
Well... No, I wouldn't say
we're friends, would you? No.
463
00:26:31,980 --> 00:26:37,459
Erm, basically the whole thing - that
- is just one big massive mistake.
464
00:26:37,460 --> 00:26:41,139
OK. But you are the father? Yes.
465
00:26:41,140 --> 00:26:44,460
Yes. Right. Well, let's get
on with it then, shall we?
466
00:26:59,820 --> 00:27:04,899
When d'you think we'll have a baby?
Dunno. We got to get a house first.
467
00:27:04,900 --> 00:27:07,059
Yeah, once we've got a house,
and a dog...
468
00:27:07,060 --> 00:27:09,579
We're not having a dog, I told you.
469
00:27:09,580 --> 00:27:11,339
But why, they're lush! They stink!
470
00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:14,219
But we can definitely have babies?
Yeah. Course!
471
00:27:14,220 --> 00:27:16,059
How many?
472
00:27:16,060 --> 00:27:18,139
Dunno.
473
00:27:18,140 --> 00:27:19,939
Two, three?
474
00:27:19,940 --> 00:27:22,740
Four, five, six?
475
00:27:25,700 --> 00:27:29,980
There it is! It's looking good,
nice healthy size.
476
00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:35,740
There you go! Makes it all
seem real now, doesn't it?
477
00:27:36,580 --> 00:27:39,420
HEARTBEAT
478
00:27:41,980 --> 00:27:43,619
Yeah. Yeah.
479
00:27:43,620 --> 00:27:45,499
# Tell me tomorrow
480
00:27:45,500 --> 00:27:48,940
# I'll wait by the window for you
481
00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:57,820
# I'll wait by the big house for you
482
00:28:01,580 --> 00:28:06,660
# I'll wait by the squeezebox for you
483
00:28:09,700 --> 00:28:13,740
# I'll wait by your dresses
for you. #
36685
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