All language subtitles for The.Unicorn.S02E03.720p.HDTV.x264-SYNCOPY.HI.C

MICHELLE: Happy birthday, hon.

- What'd you wish for?
- I don't want to say.

It'll jinx it.

Oh. So secretive. What a Scorpio.

Such a Scorpio.

- MICHELLE: Oh, okay,
- Yeah.

So... astrology, huh?

Mom...

No, it's just...

Well, you just all accept that stars

millions of miles away dictate
all of your personality traits?

Uh, yeah.

DELIA: Okay. Yeah, no.

That... Yeah, that's fine. That's fine.

I just don't know why you
wouldn't turn to things like,

I don't know, DNA,

cultural influences, parenting.

Come on, Delia. It's fun.

Science is fun.

Your mom sounds like a Taurus.

Oh. [LAUGHS]: That is so ridiculous.

You are a Taurus.

I know. It was a lucky guess.

[CHUCKLING]It's silly, yes,

but what's the harm?

Oh, it's silly, huh?

Oh, well, then I guess you wouldn't care

if your new girlfriend

also happens to be a Scorpio.

How did you know that?

I didn't even know that.

U-Um...

Natalie created a fake
social media profile.

What? You helped me!

Ugh. Okay, fine. Look, we only did it

so that we could check her
out online without her knowing.

You-You've been
cyberstalking my girlfriend?

We were just trying to make sure

that she wasn't some
crazy black widow-type

who preys on single
fathers with two daughters.

Oh, please.

But is she?

No. Though most serial
killers are Scorpios.

WADE: Okay. All right,

now that we know she's not a murderer,

no more snooping on Shannon.

Anything I want to find out,

I'll do it the old-fashioned way.

I'll ask.

[CHUCKLES] Okay.

- You got it.
- Great.

Wait. Wait.

So, Scorpio is now?

So her birthday

must be soon.

Yes, it is.

[CHUCKLING]

O-Okay. All right. Wh-When is it?

Oh, I thought you didn't want
me to tell you anything else.

You know what, you're
right. I don't.[CHUCKLING]

Never mind.

Okay. Uh, damn it, just tell me.

In two days.

What-what? Two days?

Oh, my God.

What am I gonna do?

Indecisive. Ugh.

Typical Gemini.

It's not a thing!

I can't believe Shannon's
birthday is in two days.

I mean, we just started dating.

I mean, if I go too big,
will I scare her off?

If I go too small, what,
am I... am I a jerk?

I know. Big calendar days

at the start of
relationships are minefields.

- Mm-hmm.
- Birthdays, Valentine's Day,

Presidents' Day.

'Cause of the mattress sales.

Very intimate.

Why are we even having
this conversation?

'Cause, technically, you
don't know it's her birthday.

So, no gift. Problem solved.

Yeah, but I-I do know.

But you don't have to.

Yeah, but I do.

And if I didn't say anything,
I would feel like I was lying.

I mean, do I... [SIGHS]

I don't know, do I take her out?

Do I get her a gift?

Okay, just talk to her.

Okay? Follow her lead.

- If you're really listening, she'll...
- That I can do.

I'm a very good listener.

Really?

- 'Cause I wasn't finished.
- [GASPS]

Ooh...

See that?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[CHUCKLES]: Hey.

Hey.

- What's this?
- Oh.

Well, last time you
had one of these things,

I didn't bring anything
for the non-birthday kids

and Kai bit me on the nose.

So, this time, I brought
something for everybody,

virtually guaranteeing
a bite-free celebration.

Yeah, let's say that.

I got to go get the sandwiches.

Knock yourself out.

Taylor children, I come bearing gifts!

- Heck yeah!
- Yeah.

I got something special
for everybody here.

For Zoe, I got a Frisbee.

Foqus? Isn't that the name
of the company you work for?

Yeah. Yes, it is, Noah.

And that's what makes it special,

because you can't
find it in stores. Hmm.

Catch, Zoe.

Okay. Really thought she'd catch that.

Um... Oh, for Kai,

I got a stress ball.

Because being five can
just be so darn hard.

That also has your company's name on it.

I...

Here, Kai, catch.

Okay. Ben, you got to teach
your kids how to catch.

They can catch.

And, uh,

last but not least...

And I know what it says on the side...

For Noah, a water gun.

Oh, wow.

- Thanks, Forrest!
- FORREST: Yeah.

I've never had one of these before!

FORREST: Cool!

- That's great.
- Hey, Forrest,

did you just give Noah a water gun?

- Yes, I did.
- Great.

Now I have to go take it away from him.

Take it away? Why?

What? He's... He loves it.

There's a reason he's never
had one before, Forrest.

It looks like a gun.

It doesn't look like a gun.

It's neon blue.

What am I missing here?

Uh, it's not about the color of the gun.

It's about the color of my son.

Yeah. It's not safe for him to
be out waving that thing around.

He and I had that talk a long time ago.

Mm.

Hey, Noah.

Noah. Hey. Don't you run from me.

[SIGHS] God, I should've just
taken the bite on the nose.

[SIGHS]: God.

How could I have been so stupid,

especially with everything
that's going on in the world?

I'm sure it's not as
bad as you think it was

or Michelle would've
called me to talk about it.

Well, how can you be so sure about that?

Because we talk about everything.

[CHUCKLES] You don't know
if you talk about everything,

because you only talk about
the stuff that you talk about.

- That's absurd.
- Oh, is it? Is it?

- Mm-hmm. Mm. Mm-hmm.
- Is it though? Is it absurd?

I thought it was absurd, too,

until I stepped into a big stinking pile

of my own white privilege.

Have I been making the same mistakes

with Michelle all these years?

[STAMMERS] You may have.

[GASPS] Oh! Ugh! Mm.

I just remembered. Every
time I see her, I always go,

- "Hey, girl! What's up?" Oh!
- [GROANS]

Is that a microaggression?

Have I been microaggressing?

I don't know! I don't...

- This is why I can't sleep!
- [SIGHS]

[EXHALES]

Well, now I can't sleep!

- Couple glasses of wine.
- Mm.

- Low lighting.
- Mm.

A high-level game of footsie
going on under the table.

Mr. Felton,

- are you trying to seduce me?
- Yes.

And, I must say, I am very surprised

- at how strong your feet are.
- [CHUCKLES]

Well, I used to be a gymnast.

- You were?
- Mm-hmm.

I-I didn't know that.

- You know, I also didn't know that y...
- Sorry.

Excuse me. Just one
second. Hey, Orlando!

Could you take the bone
broth off the fire for me?!

ORLANDO: Sure.

Sorry. I'm sorry. It's...
You were saying something.

Uh, I-I didn't know you were a gymnast.

- Yes. Yeah.
- Yeah.

And, uh... and I also didn't know

that, uh, your birthday
was coming up so soon.

Smooth transition.

Okay. Okay, who snitched?

Was it Orlando?

My girls told me.

Right after they told me

they created a fake social media profile

to do some semi-innocent spying on you.

Oh, I'm impressed.

And a little bit frightened.

[EXHALES] No, they were just
looking out for their daddy.

Okay, well, look, I... Just so you know,

I'm not really a birthday person.

I just like to stay at home

and let the day go by
like it was any other day.

That makes sense, right?

Uh... sure. Yeah, totally.

- Uh, got it loud and clear.
- Okay.

So...

um, can we rap?

- Rap?
- Not-not... not rap.

Um, you know, talk,

but like in a... like in a real way.

Like real talk. Like, keeping it real.

Uh, no. Um...

Is this about the squirt gun?

Yes, it is. It is. It is. It is.

So, um, it just brought up some,
um, uncomfortable feelings...

for me, and I just
couldn't help but wonder,

have there been other microaggressions,

or macroaggressions,
or mid-size aggressions,

which I guess are
really just aggressions?

Uh, so, then, you know, but
can we, you know, talk about it?

- I hear you.
- Mm-hmm.

- And we can do that.
- Okay.

But does it have to be right now?

No, no. No.

- Whenever you're comfortable.
- Okay.

Could be now, could be.

Or could be later. Could be.
I'm just... I'm easy, girl.

Friend. Friend.

Friend. Girlfriend.

That's worse. Yeah. Okay.

So maybe I'll just put it in an e-mail.

- Looking forward to it.
- Okay.

- [KNOCKING]
- Hey, hey.

Hey, Wade. Girls, your dad's here!

Hey. So...

I listened to Shannon.

- All right.
- Good. And?

And she hates birthdays.

- She does?
- NATALIE: Hmm. That's odd.

She never mentioned that on Facebook.

- Or Instagram.
- Or LinkedIn.

You have a profile on LinkedIn?

I'm a chief operating
officer in Milwaukee.

[LAUGHS]

Well, she knows you know.

And she said that you
don't have to do anything.

Case closed.

- Yeah. Yeah, case closed.
- Mm-hmm.

- DELIA: Mm. Right.
- No.

- No. No, case open.
- DELIA: No.

Yeah, it's open. No. No, it's open.

It's op... I just opened it.

No, I-I can't let her do
nothing for her birthday.

- Yes, you can.
- Uh...

Because she said so explicitly.

No. I can't. It's sad. I...

No, I ha... I have to do something.

I have to. Come-come on, girls.

No, you think you do, but you don't!

Bye.

- What a softy.
- Ugh.

Classic Gemini.

Oh, you people.

Astrology people.

I meant astrology people.

I meant astrology people. You
know I meant astrology people.

Shannon will love a plant. I
mean, everybody loves a plant.

It's thoughtful, but not extravagant.

And, hey, what, I'm just a...
I'm just a plant guy, right,

just dropping off a plant on a day

that happens to be her birthday.

I mean, it's the perfect non-gift gift.

Yeah, why didn't I
just give Noah a plant?

Because he's 11. Stop
beating yourself up.

God, I just didn't know, man.

I just didn't know you
can't give a water gun

to a B-L-A-C-K boy.

Why did you spell "Black"?

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know where the line is anymore,

and I don't want to
screw anything else up.

You'll be fine. Ben's our friend.

I work in HR. [LAUGHS]

I train people in implicit bias

and respecting others.

I thought I was woke.

But my blind spot was thinking
that I didn't have a blind spot.

Yeah. It's tough.

It's like when I realized

that Ben won't even go
for a walk without his I.D.

Of course. He might get stopped.

- Yeah.
- Oh, wow.

Wait. How can you be more woke than me?

You drive a pickup truck full of dirt.

It's potting soil, and
you shouldn't judge people

by the kind of car they drive.

Oh. You're right. You're right.

Whoa. Hey, hey, look at this!

A key lime tree.

She works with food, I work
with plants. This is both.

And maybe I'll even get
a pie out of the deal.

Damn. Maybe if I had put as
much thought into my gifts,

instead of just randomly
grabbing them out

of my office swag closet,

I wouldn't have messed
things up with Ben.

You know what? Ben'll be fine.

If I were you, I'd try
to make it up to Noah.

That kid holds a grudge.

[KNOCKING]

Hey, Ben... my friend.

- Hey.
- Um...

you know, I was thinking.

It must be awful to
have to tell your kids

that-that they can't have something

that other kids can have.

Thanks?

And, uh, you know, I know
I can't go back in time,

and-and keep my ignorance from
doing the damage that it did,

but I can look to the future
and try to heal the rift

that I caused between you and your boy.

- So many words, Forrest.
- Yeah, hold this for a second.

Hey, Noah, come down here for a second!

Your dad got you something!

What the hell, man?! Get
out of here with this thing!

[SHUSHING]

Is that a Nintendo Switch?

I don't know, don't ask me.
I didn't get it, your dad did.

Don't ask me.

Every mean name I called you yesterday,

I take them all back.

Aw, that's so sweet.

Mean names? What mean names?

Oh, what do you have there?

My father's love,
Mama. My father's love.

How and why does our son
have a new video game?

Well, uh, because I'm
rededicating myself.

To what?

To exploring our differences.

This must be about that water gun.

See, you told her.

I-I knew it was a big deal. I knew it.

It wasn't a big deal in the way

that you're making it a big deal.

Well, any time you take a toy away

from a child, it's a big deal.

But if you're serious
about rededicating yourself,

it's gonna take a whole lot more than...

You know what?

I'm gonna stay out of this one.

'Cause I just had this talk
last week with my study group,

and after Zoe's gymnastics,

and I'm only halfway
through Delia's mile-long

"how can I help you?" e-mail.

I am exhausted.

My Black hurts.

Did she just say...

her back hurts or her Black hurts?

B-L-A-C-K.

I knew you had to spell it.

Oh, boy. Come with me. We need to talk.

You're breaking up with me, aren't you?

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

This better be a stripper, otherwise,

you guys don't know me at all.

- Oh, hello.
- [LOUD CHATTER]

I know this looks bad.

This is not what it looks
like. I mean, yes, it is,

- it's a party.
- You don't have to explain, honestly.

I-I shouldn't have come, really.

It's... Oh, uh, this
is... This is for you.

Uh, thank you. Thanks.

But-but please don't go.

MAN: Shannon, shots!

Would you... would you come in?

Please. I feel terrible.

No, really, it's-it's okay.

ERIN: I'm drinking your shot, bitch!

Oh, one drink, okay? One drink.

Please, so I can explain.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Yeah, uh, one-one drink.

Okay. Thank you, thank you.
Come on, come on, come on.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

You bought Noah a $300 gaming system.

$350... with the extended warranty.

I-I got that because he's so clumsy.

You're doing too much, man.

I don't think I'm doing enough.

I mean, tell me,

what books can I read, what
organizations can I join?

I want to do better.

But this, what you're doing
now, this isn't better.

Come on, man, you're
putting all your guilt on me,

because you want me
to make you feel better

about the things I have to deal with.

I-I don't know if I'd put
it exactly like that, but...

Forrest, I love you,
and I know you mean well,

but I cannot do your work for you.

I know it's hard out
there for Black people,

but I didn't think it
was like that for you.

- Why not?
- Because I know you.

Oh, so you think the
struggle with racial injustice

only applies to the Black
people you don't know.

Apparently I did, yeah.

Okay, I couldn't help but overhear...

Screw it, I was eavesdropping.

Now, this type of thing
might be new to you,

but this is all we've ever known.

It's our life every single day.

Do you know how often I-I
am followed around a store,

or somebody touches my
hair without my permission?!

Ooh, don't get me started.

I was about to get started.

Don't get started, babe.

[WHISPERS]: I'm glad
she didn't get started.

You really want to know what you can do?

- Yes.
- Listen.

Listen. Yeah. Great.

Ah, good, good, good. Listen.

- Mm.
- Listen...

to...

- Me!
- Right.

- Black people.
- Black people.

And believe us.

Because we get told that
we're imagining things

when we talk about our own experiences.

Yeah. Or that when we
protest, we shouldn't.

Or that we're doing it wrong.

Even though that is the only way

anything has ever changed for us.

[EXHALES SHARPLY] I believe you.

Thank you.

Because I've got a lot
on my plate right now.

Lately, I've been really busy,
taking away toys from my kids.

Oh, man, too soon.

[LAUGHING]

If you do the work, I will
be right here with you,

because you're my friend.

You know what, Forrest,

there is one thing you can do for us.

But you can't take it.

It was a gift from my dad.

Uh, yeah, um, about that.

You see, I lied. It was from me.

So I have to suffer because you lied?

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sorry, I got to go.

Wade, here you go. All right,

- please let me explain.
- Shannon,

- it's okay.
- [SIGHS]

Look, I know. I-I
should have taken a hint.

You don't want me here, and
that's-that's totally cool.

Is that what you think is going on?

Well, isn't it?

Hey, guys.

- This is Wade.
- ERIN: Hey, Wade.

Oh, my God. Hey, hey, it's Wade.

It's the guy that Shannon's been dating

and refuses to shut the hell up about.

ERIN: Well, turn around so we can see

if that ass is half as amazing
as Shannon swears it is.

Okay, don't do that. Don't do that.

This is why I lied to you.

I mean, it's so early on in
this... thing we're doing,

and I didn't want you to feel pressure.

I mean, it's, you know, a big party,

and my knucklehead friends
would be poking on you.

And I just... I didn't
want to scare you away.

Wow.

I-I totally get it.

You do?

Boy, wait till you meet my friends.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Um, so you're not scared away?

Uh... No, no. I don't scare that easy.

Look, I-I don't know what this is yet,

but I know that I like you,

and I think about you.

And I just wanted you to know that

on your birthday or-or any other day.

I like the key lime tree.

I'm gonna make you a pie, obviously.

Oh, well, that was my secret agenda.

- Yeah, I know. I know.
- Clearly.

[CHUCKLES] I, uh...

- I better get home to the girls.
- Why? No.

Well, I didn't know that
there was a party going on.

- Oh, oh, okay. Okay, bye.
- Okay. Bye-bye.

ERIN: There it is!

Walk that around.

Come on, ladies,
you're better than that.

No, they're not. They're not.

ERIN: Show it, baby!
Show it to me, baby!

[TRILLING]

[ALL SHOUTING, CLAMORING]

COLEMAN: Dollar bills, yes!

ERIN: I've got a whole
bunch in my purse, baby.

COLEMAN: Wait, come back.

ERIN: It's burning a
hole in my pocket. Ow!

Michelle. I just wanted to tell you

that I'm having my book
club read White Fragility,

and I just really want
to get your take on it.

Why would I read that?

What? Oh, oh, you must.

It is, like, so eye-opening.

Each page, I'm like, what?

- Okay, we're gonna talk.
- Good.

Because I have so many things I
want to talk out with you, I just...

You know what, this time I'll talk

and you can listen.

Of course.

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, that's a good idea.

So much better.

- Can't be it. Oh!
- I don't know...

So, she didn't invite you to the party

- because she likes you too much?
- Apparently.

[SCOFFS] That's what
passes for game these days?

And yeah, man, sure,
you've got a great ass.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

I mean, literally, you
could be a butt model.

It's fantastic. I mean,
I would love to just

- bounce a quarter off it.
- Whoa.

But cheering is gratuitous, right?

GRACE: Hey, Dad?

- Where you going?
- Hey.

Shannon just DM'd us
on our fake Instagram.

Did she? What did she say?

"Dear Grace and Natalie,

"thank you for telling your
father about my birthday.

I love my key lime tree."

Ah.She had to get the last word.

How Scorpio of her.

Oh, stop it. Stop.

There's nothing wrong with
Scorpios; Scorpios are amazing.

Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -