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1
00:00:21,931 --> 00:00:24,191
I'm good with numbers.
2
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:26,060
Maybe I can help you
3
00:00:26,085 --> 00:00:27,165
in the church.
4
00:00:27,190 --> 00:00:28,280
Bills and such.
5
00:00:28,305 --> 00:00:29,875
It's 90 days.
6
00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:31,030
What is?
7
00:00:31,055 --> 00:00:32,065
The wait.
8
00:00:32,090 --> 00:00:33,150
90?
9
00:00:33,175 --> 00:00:35,185
It's 90 days
10
00:00:35,323 --> 00:00:38,283
'cause it... 'cause it's l-limited.
11
00:00:38,308 --> 00:00:39,328
Pound me!
12
00:00:39,353 --> 00:00:40,833
What?
13
00:00:40,858 --> 00:00:44,298
The New Leaf switchback
Mexico double-cross, James.
14
00:00:46,218 --> 00:00:50,008
I'm picturing the ranger's
face being like, "What?
15
00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:51,783
I'm so confused.
16
00:00:51,808 --> 00:00:53,238
I'm just gonna go back to Texas
17
00:00:53,263 --> 00:00:55,613
and open up a yogurt store."
18
00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:58,078
I know what you guys are doing,
19
00:00:58,103 --> 00:01:01,113
and I've been looking into your
parents' private accounting.
20
00:01:02,773 --> 00:01:04,343
Petitioning for passport?
21
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:05,848
I am.
22
00:01:05,873 --> 00:01:07,303
Purpose?
23
00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:10,718
Visit an old friend.
From Young Offenders.
24
00:01:11,028 --> 00:01:12,428
Donny... he's out.
25
00:01:12,453 --> 00:01:14,283
Oh, fuck.
26
00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:16,358
- Where is he?
- Drawing nearer.
27
00:01:16,383 --> 00:01:17,953
Out trying to find money for a gun.
28
00:01:21,980 --> 00:01:23,720
Buenos días, ladies.
29
00:01:23,745 --> 00:01:25,785
I told Glenn we're in a gang
30
00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:27,850
to help with the
getting the money thing.
31
00:01:28,027 --> 00:01:29,817
Special boys.
32
00:01:31,697 --> 00:01:34,137
My boy, Glenn. He's not at home.
33
00:01:37,374 --> 00:01:39,164
My mom and dad
said they could, uh
34
00:01:39,204 --> 00:01:41,894
bolster us through
the third quarter here.
35
00:01:41,919 --> 00:01:44,439
Your parents accounts
are Our Lady accounts.
36
00:01:44,464 --> 00:01:46,074
I know it. That's...
37
00:01:46,230 --> 00:01:47,670
That's why I'm here to get it
38
00:01:47,695 --> 00:01:50,175
I made the grave mistake
of placing faith in him.
39
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,900
My son had gone
with some of our funds.
40
00:01:53,925 --> 00:01:56,145
What's your boy's name?
41
00:01:56,170 --> 00:01:57,690
Paul Allen Brown.
42
00:02:05,364 --> 00:02:07,454
Life can be brutal.
43
00:02:07,479 --> 00:02:09,959
You learn that
in the rodeo barrel.
44
00:02:33,784 --> 00:02:35,064
Hey, bud.
45
00:02:35,914 --> 00:02:38,504
Bad place to be at the moment.
46
00:02:39,044 --> 00:02:40,874
There's a bull coming.
47
00:02:40,914 --> 00:02:42,524
Hear the rumbling?
48
00:02:45,184 --> 00:02:46,724
There you go, bud.
49
00:02:48,664 --> 00:02:50,714
You're a bright one.
50
00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,194
You're brighter than me.
51
00:02:52,234 --> 00:02:53,884
Here we go.
52
00:03:08,994 --> 00:03:12,424
You know, a man can
learn a lot in the barrel.
53
00:03:12,474 --> 00:03:14,034
Some physics.
54
00:03:14,084 --> 00:03:16,384
Basic principles of contortion.
55
00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:23,914
Then there's the heavy duty truth.
56
00:03:25,354 --> 00:03:26,744
Here it is.
57
00:03:26,794 --> 00:03:29,094
When someone has
you over a barrel
58
00:03:29,144 --> 00:03:32,234
when someone puts you
up against the wall
59
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:39,049
you gotta bring your power down.
60
00:04:13,884 --> 00:04:16,754
Down into the dilemma.
61
00:04:27,024 --> 00:04:29,154
See red.
62
00:04:29,204 --> 00:04:31,074
Then barrel into that motherfucker
63
00:04:31,114 --> 00:04:33,294
like a bull
64
00:04:33,334 --> 00:04:34,984
with all of it.
65
00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:46,044
Bull Face...
66
00:04:46,084 --> 00:04:47,694
That's the expression.
67
00:04:47,744 --> 00:04:49,094
I've seen it,
68
00:04:49,134 --> 00:04:52,184
of the exercise of all your power.
69
00:04:52,224 --> 00:04:54,574
Bull Face... I've faced it.
70
00:04:54,614 --> 00:04:58,964
And if you see someone coming
at you Bull Face, man
71
00:04:58,989 --> 00:05:00,159
run.
72
00:05:01,379 --> 00:05:03,029
Bull Face.
73
00:05:20,384 --> 00:05:22,214
How you doing?
74
00:05:22,254 --> 00:05:24,734
Fine.
75
00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:25,939
Where to?
76
00:05:25,964 --> 00:05:27,094
Train.
77
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:29,209
Grand Central.
78
00:05:30,432 --> 00:05:31,942
Congratulations.
79
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:35,821
Concerning?
80
00:05:36,459 --> 00:05:38,069
You're in the Cash Cab!
81
00:07:02,264 --> 00:07:04,064
The deputy's asking if
you're conscious enough
82
00:07:04,094 --> 00:07:05,924
- for your ankle business...
- Yeah, but...
83
00:07:07,544 --> 00:07:09,064
Yeah, soon.
84
00:07:16,104 --> 00:07:17,284
Hey, man.
85
00:07:17,309 --> 00:07:18,749
Yeah.
86
00:07:18,774 --> 00:07:20,224
There's a way.
87
00:07:20,849 --> 00:07:22,239
There's a way what?
88
00:07:22,264 --> 00:07:24,524
There's a way to say,
"Hey, Mom and Dad,
89
00:07:24,549 --> 00:07:26,049
it's back."
90
00:07:26,574 --> 00:07:27,794
The money?
91
00:07:27,819 --> 00:07:29,079
Yeah.
92
00:07:30,269 --> 00:07:31,309
What way?
93
00:07:31,334 --> 00:07:32,514
One way.
94
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:33,759
What way?
95
00:07:33,784 --> 00:07:35,614
You have to lay down in my bed.
96
00:07:35,639 --> 00:07:36,899
Right now.
97
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,164
With you?
98
00:07:39,189 --> 00:07:40,479
Not with me.
99
00:07:40,504 --> 00:07:42,399
If you stay over there,
I'll stay over here,
100
00:07:42,424 --> 00:07:44,984
but you have to decide
right now, New Leaf.
101
00:07:58,804 --> 00:08:01,734
I'm not Paul Brown.
My name's James.
102
00:08:02,999 --> 00:08:04,349
I'm trying to get this money.
103
00:08:04,374 --> 00:08:06,934
There's a Texas Ranger
104
00:08:06,959 --> 00:08:08,259
I have to get to Mexico,
105
00:08:08,284 --> 00:08:09,804
and he can't know where I'm going,
106
00:08:09,829 --> 00:08:11,475
but they're gonna put
that ankle lock back on me
107
00:08:11,499 --> 00:08:13,359
in 30 seconds, and if
I can't get to Mexico,
108
00:08:13,384 --> 00:08:16,164
man, I can't get this money.
109
00:08:57,424 --> 00:09:01,034
Abduction, aggravated
assault, aiding and abetting,
110
00:09:01,059 --> 00:09:05,539
attempted arson, arson,
battery, bribery, burglary...
111
00:09:05,564 --> 00:09:07,264
Are y... Are you doing that
112
00:09:07,289 --> 00:09:08,599
alphabetically?
113
00:09:08,624 --> 00:09:10,974
Yeah, because you were, I think.
114
00:09:10,999 --> 00:09:12,609
I was.
115
00:09:12,634 --> 00:09:14,654
Helps me remember.
116
00:09:15,004 --> 00:09:17,004
Jesus, how many times
have you been arrested?
117
00:09:18,444 --> 00:09:21,054
I've been here for three years,
118
00:09:21,079 --> 00:09:23,379
and your parents
tried to change me.
119
00:09:23,404 --> 00:09:25,464
But it was just a trick.
120
00:09:26,389 --> 00:09:30,739
In three years, I could've
been hollering at dudes.
121
00:09:30,764 --> 00:09:32,384
Fucking dudes.
122
00:09:32,409 --> 00:09:34,499
Scissoring chicks.
123
00:09:34,524 --> 00:09:36,784
Fucking with people.
124
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:38,979
Standing girls up.
125
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:41,529
Bringing dudes down.
126
00:09:41,554 --> 00:09:43,474
You get it.
127
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:44,889
Breaking shit.
128
00:09:44,914 --> 00:09:46,954
Taking shit.
129
00:09:46,979 --> 00:09:49,159
Neck-punching twats.
130
00:09:49,184 --> 00:09:51,674
Twat-punching cunts.
131
00:09:51,699 --> 00:09:53,829
Cunt-punching dicks.
132
00:09:54,979 --> 00:09:56,569
You get it.
133
00:09:57,394 --> 00:10:02,054
I got a wide-open mind,
and it's wide open again.
134
00:10:05,589 --> 00:10:07,099
I'm,
135
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:10,064
so surprised.
136
00:10:10,089 --> 00:10:11,639
Your mom's so surprised.
137
00:10:14,504 --> 00:10:16,934
So, I want $65,000,
138
00:10:16,959 --> 00:10:19,129
or I'm going to turn you both in.
139
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:22,089
But you got to tell me
exactly what's going on here,
140
00:10:22,114 --> 00:10:24,464
because you guys seem kind of dumb,
141
00:10:24,489 --> 00:10:26,099
and I want to make
sure you're not gonna
142
00:10:26,124 --> 00:10:28,394
fuck the whole thing up
and get me arrested again.
143
00:10:32,474 --> 00:10:35,084
$65,000 is a lot of money.
144
00:10:37,394 --> 00:10:39,264
I can suspend third-
and fourth-quarter
145
00:10:39,289 --> 00:10:40,819
audit requirements.
146
00:10:41,524 --> 00:10:43,964
That means the money would transfer
147
00:10:43,989 --> 00:10:46,129
14 days from now.
148
00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:58,259
We're back to 14 days.
149
00:10:58,284 --> 00:10:59,894
Fuck yeah.
150
00:10:59,919 --> 00:11:01,529
I got to figure out
how to get the Ranger
151
00:11:01,554 --> 00:11:03,394
all the way to yogurt.
152
00:11:03,419 --> 00:11:04,879
And you gotta get your Uncle Dave
153
00:11:04,904 --> 00:11:06,474
to stop talking to him.
154
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:18,214
Nothing personal, ladies.
155
00:11:18,239 --> 00:11:21,299
I need access to a
computer to freeze funds.
156
00:11:22,264 --> 00:11:24,824
There are computers
at our place of business.
157
00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:30,119
It's a TV game
show that takes place
158
00:11:30,144 --> 00:11:31,974
right here in my taxi.
159
00:11:32,014 --> 00:11:33,340
Alright, here's how the game works.
160
00:11:33,364 --> 00:11:35,324
I'm your host. My
name is Ben Bailey.
161
00:11:35,364 --> 00:11:37,014
I'm gonna drive you
to your destination.
162
00:11:37,039 --> 00:11:38,949
I'm gonna ask you
general-knowledge questions
163
00:11:38,974 --> 00:11:40,054
along the way.
164
00:11:40,169 --> 00:11:41,299
I'm gonna start off easy
165
00:11:41,324 --> 00:11:42,964
and get harder as we go.
166
00:11:42,989 --> 00:11:45,054
As long as you continue to
answer the questions correctly,
167
00:11:45,078 --> 00:11:47,464
you're gonna win cash money
all the way from here to there.
168
00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:49,139
But here's the catch.
169
00:11:49,164 --> 00:11:50,514
If you get three wrong,
170
00:11:50,539 --> 00:11:52,059
that's three strikes,
and you're out,
171
00:11:52,124 --> 00:11:53,660
which means I'm gonna
pull over and kick you out
172
00:11:53,684 --> 00:11:56,564
right where we are on the
spot, and you lose it all.
173
00:11:56,604 --> 00:11:57,840
So, those are the
rules of the game.
174
00:11:57,864 --> 00:11:59,734
What do you say?
Do you want to play?
175
00:12:02,524 --> 00:12:05,104
How much is to gain, Ben?
176
00:12:05,784 --> 00:12:08,374
Um, tops ever is 3,000 bucks.
177
00:12:10,629 --> 00:12:13,639
How much does a
handgun cost these days,
178
00:12:13,664 --> 00:12:15,884
roughly speaking, Ben,
179
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,569
in the U.S.?
180
00:12:17,594 --> 00:12:18,814
No idea, man.
181
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,579
A thousand. Two thousand.
182
00:12:20,604 --> 00:12:21,764
I don't know.
183
00:12:23,974 --> 00:12:26,024
Let's play, Ben.
184
00:12:30,294 --> 00:12:33,074
Uncle Dave. Alright!
185
00:12:33,099 --> 00:12:35,839
Come on out of that tiny
booth and give me a big hug!
186
00:12:37,239 --> 00:12:39,589
Uh, I'm not allowed
to make contact.
187
00:12:39,614 --> 00:12:41,134
Paul.
188
00:12:41,159 --> 00:12:42,209
Here.
189
00:12:42,234 --> 00:12:43,924
Physical contact.
190
00:12:43,949 --> 00:12:45,429
"F" that "S".
191
00:12:46,829 --> 00:12:49,709
Which of the following
192
00:12:49,734 --> 00:12:52,474
is not a Kardashian?
193
00:12:52,499 --> 00:12:55,019
Kim, Kourtney,
194
00:12:55,044 --> 00:12:58,314
Khloé, or Kevin?
195
00:12:59,322 --> 00:13:00,842
Whom?
196
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,797
The Kardashians.
197
00:13:03,999 --> 00:13:05,129
Whom?
198
00:13:05,154 --> 00:13:06,714
The Kardashians.
199
00:13:06,739 --> 00:13:07,999
Y-You keep saying that,
200
00:13:08,024 --> 00:13:10,464
but it's... it's meaningless to me.
201
00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:11,839
They're on TV.
202
00:13:11,864 --> 00:13:13,254
And...?
203
00:13:13,279 --> 00:13:14,559
That's all.
204
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:18,354
And what would you like
me to do concerning them?
205
00:13:19,319 --> 00:13:21,319
Tell me which one
is not one of them.
206
00:13:21,344 --> 00:13:24,434
Kim, Kourtney, Khloé, or Kevin.
207
00:13:27,369 --> 00:13:30,899
I haven't got the
faintest fucking idea, Ben.
208
00:13:31,874 --> 00:13:33,834
Strike one.
209
00:13:38,662 --> 00:13:41,752
I know about your
father and mother, Paul.
210
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,667
Oh, come on, man!
211
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,952
I am so terribly sorry.
212
00:13:45,977 --> 00:13:48,027
Let's go!
213
00:13:48,052 --> 00:13:50,662
Hey, "F" you! I'm hugging my uncle!
214
00:13:50,779 --> 00:13:52,869
This guy took me to see "Star Wars"
215
00:13:52,894 --> 00:13:54,764
even though I was
grounded for breaking
216
00:13:54,789 --> 00:13:57,489
one of my mom's lamps
and lying about it.
217
00:13:57,514 --> 00:14:00,604
And this guy snuck me
out and snuck me back in.
218
00:14:00,629 --> 00:14:01,939
We got away with it.
219
00:14:01,964 --> 00:14:03,794
And I got to see "Star Wars".
220
00:14:03,819 --> 00:14:05,339
'Cause of him.
221
00:14:05,364 --> 00:14:08,584
- So shut the "F" up.
- Let's go! Move it!
222
00:14:08,609 --> 00:14:10,499
Uncle Dave, I want to talk to you
223
00:14:10,524 --> 00:14:12,134
about that Texas Ranger.
224
00:14:37,619 --> 00:14:39,649
Boy, you ladies are popular.
225
00:14:41,529 --> 00:14:45,229
You can't name a single Dwayne
"The Rock" Johnson movie?
226
00:14:45,254 --> 00:14:47,274
I cannot.
227
00:14:47,829 --> 00:14:49,489
Remember, you can use a Shout Out.
228
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:50,954
What Out?
229
00:14:50,994 --> 00:14:53,694
You can reach out to a
friend or family member
230
00:14:53,734 --> 00:14:56,524
or a colleague for
help with the answer.
231
00:14:56,549 --> 00:14:58,639
Doesn't apply.
232
00:14:59,409 --> 00:15:01,759
To me. This.
233
00:15:01,784 --> 00:15:03,314
Why not?
234
00:15:03,339 --> 00:15:05,869
I no longer have those, Ben.
235
00:15:06,939 --> 00:15:09,029
You no longer have what?
236
00:15:09,054 --> 00:15:12,844
Friends, family, or colleagues.
237
00:15:12,869 --> 00:15:15,739
May I ask, can we proceed
to the difficult questions?
238
00:15:16,429 --> 00:15:17,869
What's that?
239
00:15:17,894 --> 00:15:21,114
Perhaps, of your questions,
240
00:15:21,139 --> 00:15:23,879
you can ask me the
most difficult now.
241
00:15:23,904 --> 00:15:27,954
And we'll, say, skip the easy ones.
242
00:15:28,684 --> 00:15:30,684
I don't know if we can d-do that.
243
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:32,799
Nobody ever asked
me to do that before.
244
00:15:32,824 --> 00:15:35,254
Why don't you do a
Shout Out with your boss?
245
00:15:37,679 --> 00:15:40,239
He's asking questions
about a little girl.
246
00:15:40,264 --> 00:15:43,094
Uncle Dave, what... he's
saying that I hurt someone?
247
00:15:43,119 --> 00:15:45,559
I do magic because
I hate the world
248
00:15:45,584 --> 00:15:48,674
where people hurt people,
and I want to live above it,
249
00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:52,879
on a magic cloud where
you saw hot women in half
250
00:15:52,904 --> 00:15:54,554
but not really.
251
00:15:55,111 --> 00:15:57,201
Not... really.
252
00:15:57,819 --> 00:15:59,819
I hate "really".
253
00:15:59,844 --> 00:16:01,714
I would never hurt anyone really
254
00:16:01,739 --> 00:16:03,559
never ever.
255
00:16:03,584 --> 00:16:05,194
You know me.
256
00:16:05,219 --> 00:16:06,479
You know that.
257
00:16:06,609 --> 00:16:08,089
Like I know you wouldn't.
258
00:16:08,114 --> 00:16:10,374
- I know you would never hurt a...
- One second.
259
00:16:10,399 --> 00:16:12,139
I'm a registered sex offender.
260
00:16:12,164 --> 00:16:14,434
Please retrieve your change
from the change bowl.
261
00:16:14,459 --> 00:16:15,930
We have not touched.
262
00:16:15,954 --> 00:16:17,294
Have a nice day.
263
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,344
Uh, hey.
264
00:16:19,384 --> 00:16:22,474
Yeah, this guy wants to skip
to the really hard questions.
265
00:16:22,929 --> 00:16:24,459
What a moron.
266
00:16:25,099 --> 00:16:26,279
Eh, why not.
267
00:16:26,304 --> 00:16:27,334
Cool.
268
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:30,514
He said okay.
269
00:16:30,539 --> 00:16:32,719
But one more strike and you're out.
270
00:16:32,744 --> 00:16:35,054
And we're only a couple of
blocks from Grand Central.
271
00:16:35,079 --> 00:16:37,089
It's the $200 round.
272
00:16:38,321 --> 00:16:40,011
Capital of Uruguay?
273
00:16:40,036 --> 00:16:41,256
Montevideo.
274
00:16:41,281 --> 00:16:42,451
Nauru?
275
00:16:42,674 --> 00:16:44,284
Nauru has no capital.
276
00:16:44,324 --> 00:16:46,024
What's the world's
largest desert...
277
00:16:46,049 --> 00:16:47,519
Antarctica.
278
00:16:47,544 --> 00:16:49,100
How many provinces
does Holland ha...
279
00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:50,385
None.
280
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,540
In which battle was Mark Antony...
281
00:16:52,565 --> 00:16:53,785
Actium.
282
00:16:53,810 --> 00:16:55,680
- What gas...
- Helium.
283
00:16:55,705 --> 00:16:57,185
- Which...
- Charles Dickens.
284
00:17:04,474 --> 00:17:07,004
I know that you would
never ever hurt anyone...
285
00:17:07,029 --> 00:17:08,549
Never, ever.
286
00:17:08,639 --> 00:17:11,199
That's why I always
sent you letters.
287
00:17:11,224 --> 00:17:13,394
And that's why I always loved you.
288
00:17:13,419 --> 00:17:15,159
During your shame.
289
00:17:15,184 --> 00:17:17,714
And that's why I'm here now.
290
00:17:17,739 --> 00:17:19,789
My mom's gone.
291
00:17:19,814 --> 00:17:21,944
But I'm here.
292
00:17:22,069 --> 00:17:24,119
And I love you.
293
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:27,584
And your love for
my mom lives on,
294
00:17:27,609 --> 00:17:32,219
and on and on,
because it's family love.
295
00:17:32,244 --> 00:17:34,594
It goes past forever.
296
00:17:34,619 --> 00:17:36,569
Like ours.
297
00:17:36,684 --> 00:17:38,814
It's five-ever.
298
00:17:41,433 --> 00:17:43,879
Are you gonna stop talking
to Walker Texas Ranger
299
00:17:43,904 --> 00:17:45,924
about totally f'ing B.S.?
300
00:17:47,174 --> 00:17:48,914
I am.
301
00:17:48,939 --> 00:17:50,289
Cool.
302
00:17:51,824 --> 00:17:53,704
Let's get her home, Paul.
303
00:17:54,245 --> 00:17:58,555
Let's get her and Byron home,
and let's treat them right.
304
00:17:58,580 --> 00:18:00,800
Get... Get them home?
305
00:18:00,825 --> 00:18:02,695
For the funeral.
306
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:06,689
She always wanted to be buried
with her orphan hairbrush.
307
00:18:06,714 --> 00:18:10,894
The first touch of love she
felt with the older girls.
308
00:18:10,934 --> 00:18:13,934
Are we gonna bring your
mother and father's bodies
309
00:18:13,959 --> 00:18:15,219
home from Mexico
310
00:18:15,244 --> 00:18:17,644
so we can bury them properly, Paul,
311
00:18:17,669 --> 00:18:19,889
in the manner they deserve?
312
00:18:21,599 --> 00:18:23,139
We are.
313
00:18:23,164 --> 00:18:25,644
I've informed a funeral home, Paul,
314
00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:27,889
about your parents.
315
00:18:35,174 --> 00:18:36,434
Jesus.
316
00:18:36,459 --> 00:18:38,009
Hello.
317
00:18:39,874 --> 00:18:41,184
Hello.
318
00:18:41,209 --> 00:18:42,519
Did I startle you?
319
00:18:42,544 --> 00:18:43,734
Yes.
320
00:18:44,704 --> 00:18:46,244
Very sorry.
321
00:18:47,759 --> 00:18:49,069
Paul, is it?
322
00:18:52,569 --> 00:18:53,779
Yes.
323
00:18:53,804 --> 00:18:58,154
Well, I'm here on a matter of...
324
00:18:58,179 --> 00:18:59,969
Well
325
00:18:59,994 --> 00:19:02,634
a matter of life and death.
326
00:19:04,979 --> 00:19:10,059
I'd like to begin your parents
on their journey onward.
327
00:19:10,424 --> 00:19:13,494
I'd like to help carry them over.
328
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:19,451
And I would need to
begin that process soon.
329
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:22,379
My parents are dead.
330
00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:24,581
I know that, Paul.
331
00:19:24,606 --> 00:19:26,236
That's why I'm here.
332
00:19:27,574 --> 00:19:29,504
I'm Jonathan Joy.
333
00:19:29,754 --> 00:19:35,064
Griego & Joy Funeral Homes.
334
00:20:20,231 --> 00:20:22,541
Please do come see me.
335
00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:27,651
Let's get your parents
home from Mexico.
336
00:20:29,179 --> 00:20:35,099
The lawful and healthful
process of retrieval.
337
00:20:35,124 --> 00:20:39,354
Then let's get them on
their journey Onward.
338
00:20:40,994 --> 00:20:42,534
Let's.
339
00:20:43,357 --> 00:20:46,727
When will you come
see me, Young Paul?
340
00:20:49,094 --> 00:20:51,524
Tomorrow would be
341
00:20:51,549 --> 00:20:53,579
good to begin the lawful, um
342
00:20:54,551 --> 00:20:55,851
thing, yeah.
343
00:20:55,876 --> 00:20:56,936
Good.
344
00:20:56,961 --> 00:20:58,061
Well
345
00:21:00,971 --> 00:21:03,021
until tomorrow.
346
00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:27,290
Hey.
347
00:21:27,315 --> 00:21:28,965
Yeah.
348
00:21:28,990 --> 00:21:30,050
Nice.
349
00:21:30,075 --> 00:21:31,245
What was?
350
00:21:31,270 --> 00:21:32,360
Nice work.
351
00:21:32,385 --> 00:21:33,855
In Mexico, man.
352
00:21:34,589 --> 00:21:35,769
Thanks.
353
00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:38,224
That was a really
awesome shared experience.
354
00:21:38,249 --> 00:21:39,419
Yeah.
355
00:21:39,444 --> 00:21:41,504
Got lost in the desert.
356
00:21:41,794 --> 00:21:44,014
Yeah. I remember that part.
357
00:21:44,039 --> 00:21:45,849
I didn't put the sombrero on.
358
00:21:48,714 --> 00:21:50,244
Yeah, why not?
359
00:21:50,919 --> 00:21:52,439
That would've been smart.
360
00:21:52,464 --> 00:21:53,764
I wanted it to be fresh.
361
00:21:55,504 --> 00:21:56,954
A fresh sombrero.
362
00:21:58,629 --> 00:22:01,709
Why did you want a
fresh sombrero, Glenn?
363
00:22:01,734 --> 00:22:03,644
To give to my dad.
364
00:22:03,669 --> 00:22:05,139
For Father's Day.
365
00:22:07,024 --> 00:22:08,814
Hey, I want to be quiet.
366
00:22:08,839 --> 00:22:10,319
You and me, New Leaf.
367
00:22:10,344 --> 00:22:12,814
About being in Mexico
this week, 'cause...
368
00:22:15,679 --> 00:22:17,789
Isn't your dad kinda
369
00:22:19,329 --> 00:22:20,609
not great?
370
00:22:21,834 --> 00:22:23,804
Yeah, he's not great.
371
00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:25,914
Town drunk, you said?
372
00:22:25,939 --> 00:22:27,179
Yeah.
373
00:22:28,249 --> 00:22:30,429
Well, my dad's not great either.
374
00:22:31,211 --> 00:22:33,721
He went into outer
space and lost his mind.
375
00:22:38,213 --> 00:22:39,713
Our Pastor?
376
00:22:40,504 --> 00:22:41,654
What's that?
377
00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:43,964
Pastor Brown.
378
00:22:44,969 --> 00:22:46,929
He went into outer space?
379
00:22:51,009 --> 00:22:52,539
Yeah.
380
00:22:52,564 --> 00:22:54,214
Yeah, in a special program.
381
00:22:55,264 --> 00:22:56,794
An international...
382
00:22:57,434 --> 00:22:58,784
With Russia.
383
00:22:58,809 --> 00:23:01,399
An International
Pastor Space Thing.
384
00:23:02,427 --> 00:23:03,627
Cool.
385
00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:21,984
No sign of trauma.
386
00:23:22,009 --> 00:23:24,149
Nor indications of blunt force.
387
00:23:24,174 --> 00:23:27,084
Nor ligature bruising.
388
00:23:27,109 --> 00:23:28,419
None.
389
00:23:30,514 --> 00:23:32,344
You just found him dead?
390
00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:35,719
Found him cold just there.
391
00:23:35,744 --> 00:23:36,824
No telling how?
392
00:23:36,849 --> 00:23:38,069
No telling how.
393
00:23:39,299 --> 00:23:40,849
Alright. Final question.
394
00:23:40,874 --> 00:23:42,574
It's all gonna come down to this.
395
00:23:42,599 --> 00:23:44,079
Who is the youngest person
396
00:23:44,104 --> 00:23:46,844
ever convicted of
first-degree murder?
397
00:23:46,869 --> 00:23:48,779
Name and age.
398
00:23:50,339 --> 00:23:53,469
We're pulling up
here. Clock's ticking.
399
00:23:53,549 --> 00:23:54,989
You want to use that Shout Out?
400
00:23:55,014 --> 00:23:56,544
You got a real hot streak going.
401
00:23:56,569 --> 00:23:58,479
It'd be a shame to strike
out half a block away.
402
00:23:58,504 --> 00:24:00,024
You can ask a
stranger on the street.
403
00:24:00,049 --> 00:24:02,359
That's not necessary.
404
00:24:06,074 --> 00:24:08,144
Two young men.
405
00:24:08,984 --> 00:24:10,494
Byron Brown.
406
00:24:11,334 --> 00:24:13,954
Donald James DeLoash.
407
00:24:14,604 --> 00:24:16,164
Aged 8.
408
00:24:17,604 --> 00:24:19,394
Donald was younger.
409
00:24:19,734 --> 00:24:21,734
By five months.
410
00:24:23,174 --> 00:24:25,004
So Donald DeLoash.
411
00:24:25,029 --> 00:24:26,559
Oh, my God.
412
00:24:26,584 --> 00:24:28,934
You just won $5,000
in the Cash Cab!
413
00:24:29,029 --> 00:24:30,639
You're the biggest
winner we've ever had.
414
00:24:30,664 --> 00:24:32,914
That's a new record!
What's your name?
415
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,003
Donald DeLoash.
416
00:24:39,194 --> 00:24:41,234
May I have my cash?
417
00:24:41,259 --> 00:24:43,789
I'm due on a train west soon, Ben.
418
00:24:47,284 --> 00:24:49,634
Two of the orphan boys are missing.
419
00:24:49,659 --> 00:24:51,959
Byron Brown. Donald DeLoash.
420
00:24:51,984 --> 00:24:53,674
And seven bed sheets missing.
421
00:24:53,699 --> 00:24:56,319
Six were found strung together
hanging from this floor
422
00:24:56,344 --> 00:24:58,244
to the alley 'round back.
423
00:24:59,799 --> 00:25:02,279
- Seven were taken?
- Seven sheets.
424
00:25:02,304 --> 00:25:03,474
Six found.
425
00:25:03,499 --> 00:25:05,049
Six found 'round back.
426
00:25:37,424 --> 00:25:39,444
It's cool you got
your dad a hat, Glenn.
427
00:25:42,251 --> 00:25:43,811
But he doesn't, like...
428
00:25:47,124 --> 00:25:49,564
He doesn't do what most dads do.
429
00:25:49,589 --> 00:25:50,929
Like what?
430
00:25:50,954 --> 00:25:52,114
Like...
431
00:25:53,187 --> 00:25:55,717
Like look out for
the people they love.
432
00:25:59,348 --> 00:26:01,014
Your dad doesn't look
out for you, Glenn,
433
00:26:01,039 --> 00:26:02,599
and it's not cool.
434
00:26:03,849 --> 00:26:05,429
The sombrero is cool.
435
00:26:05,454 --> 00:26:07,144
So maybe you should save it
436
00:26:07,169 --> 00:26:09,949
and, like... give it
to someone later,
437
00:26:09,974 --> 00:26:14,104
you know, who really
deserves a fresh sombrero.
438
00:26:17,024 --> 00:26:18,194
Like who.
439
00:26:19,242 --> 00:26:21,302
I don't know... just
someone in your future.
440
00:26:22,763 --> 00:26:24,313
Like in a jet pack?
441
00:26:25,449 --> 00:26:27,449
What are you talking about?
442
00:26:27,474 --> 00:26:29,024
In the futures.
443
00:26:29,864 --> 00:26:31,454
Of jet packs.
444
00:26:33,004 --> 00:26:34,694
The future's not...
445
00:26:37,484 --> 00:26:41,894
The future's not just jet
packs and robots and shit.
446
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:45,950
Then what is it?
447
00:26:46,639 --> 00:26:49,379
The future is, like,
448
00:26:49,404 --> 00:26:52,024
any time at all ahead of right now.
449
00:26:52,079 --> 00:26:53,689
Like...
450
00:26:53,714 --> 00:26:56,454
Like, in two seconds. Like,
right now plus a second.
451
00:26:56,479 --> 00:26:57,969
That's the future.
452
00:26:59,149 --> 00:27:01,129
It doesn't have to have robots.
453
00:27:01,154 --> 00:27:02,734
It does not.
454
00:27:03,074 --> 00:27:04,244
Fuck.
455
00:27:05,684 --> 00:27:06,884
Okay.
456
00:27:07,424 --> 00:27:09,004
That's good to know.
457
00:27:10,571 --> 00:27:12,661
It is good to know, Glenn.
458
00:27:15,951 --> 00:27:19,021
If we weren't friends, if
you hadn't told me that,
459
00:27:19,784 --> 00:27:22,874
I'd be running around
talking about robots and shit.
460
00:27:22,899 --> 00:27:24,909
People would think I was an idiot.
461
00:27:25,652 --> 00:27:28,192
Then I could never get
a girlfriend or anything.
462
00:27:29,054 --> 00:27:31,054
Well, maybe you can now.
463
00:27:31,494 --> 00:27:34,454
There's still lots of
other stuff we got to learn,
464
00:27:34,479 --> 00:27:36,619
get straightened out.
465
00:27:36,644 --> 00:27:38,344
Cool.
466
00:27:49,684 --> 00:27:51,204
Man, thanks.
467
00:27:51,944 --> 00:27:53,184
Glenn.
468
00:27:55,459 --> 00:27:58,629
Don't give it to me, man.
469
00:27:58,654 --> 00:28:00,254
You look out for me.
470
00:28:06,314 --> 00:28:08,884
I don't want you to
give up on your dad
471
00:28:10,224 --> 00:28:11,484
'cause...
472
00:28:13,423 --> 00:28:14,949
Well, 'cause maybe
something someday
473
00:28:14,974 --> 00:28:16,584
will wake his dumb ass up.
474
00:28:16,624 --> 00:28:18,544
And
475
00:28:18,569 --> 00:28:21,139
I still call my dad. Once a week.
476
00:28:21,219 --> 00:28:24,349
Even though he can't hear me
through his fucking huge helmet.
477
00:28:24,374 --> 00:28:26,024
He... He... He wears
this space helmet,
478
00:28:26,049 --> 00:28:28,049
and he wanders
around Austin, Texas.
479
00:28:28,074 --> 00:28:30,624
Like the village
idiot. In a space suit.
480
00:28:31,852 --> 00:28:33,932
We're still talking
about Pastor Brown?
481
00:28:38,164 --> 00:28:39,774
No.
482
00:28:41,524 --> 00:28:43,094
I have another dad.
483
00:28:45,149 --> 00:28:46,679
He's the Village Idiot?
484
00:28:48,139 --> 00:28:49,419
Yeah.
485
00:28:49,444 --> 00:28:50,964
Mine's the Town Drunk.
486
00:28:55,559 --> 00:28:57,219
We should introduce
them to each other.
487
00:28:59,319 --> 00:29:00,829
Yeah, we should.
488
00:29:07,284 --> 00:29:09,374
Glenn, my name's James.
489
00:29:11,424 --> 00:29:12,904
Schaeler.
490
00:29:15,309 --> 00:29:17,529
I'm in the middle
of an elaborate plot
491
00:29:17,554 --> 00:29:18,994
that's
492
00:29:20,344 --> 00:29:21,914
fucking kind of falling apart
493
00:29:22,501 --> 00:29:25,021
to take all of Pastor
Brown's money,
494
00:29:25,046 --> 00:29:26,126
which.
495
00:29:27,044 --> 00:29:32,264
I mean, he's a really bad man,
so... maybe that means something.
496
00:29:33,004 --> 00:29:34,534
I don't know.
497
00:29:36,099 --> 00:29:37,639
I don't even know
why I'm telling you
498
00:29:37,664 --> 00:29:39,664
all this right now.
499
00:29:41,404 --> 00:29:43,444
I still want you to
have my fresh sombrero.
500
00:29:45,069 --> 00:29:46,979
Maybe even more than him.
501
00:29:49,399 --> 00:29:50,479
He's right there?
502
00:29:50,504 --> 00:29:51,854
Yeah.
503
00:29:51,894 --> 00:29:53,014
That's him.
504
00:29:54,879 --> 00:29:56,879
You haven't gone over
and tell him you're okay?
505
00:29:56,904 --> 00:29:59,464
To give him the fresh sombrero?
506
00:29:59,489 --> 00:30:02,189
I was enjoying being with you.
507
00:30:05,189 --> 00:30:06,729
New Leaf?
508
00:30:07,654 --> 00:30:08,944
Right.
509
00:30:09,394 --> 00:30:10,474
New Leaf?
510
00:30:11,749 --> 00:30:13,329
Right.
511
00:30:13,354 --> 00:30:14,834
That's a name?
512
00:30:14,859 --> 00:30:16,949
That's my name.
513
00:30:25,494 --> 00:30:27,064
Are you Native American?
514
00:30:27,089 --> 00:30:28,279
No.
515
00:30:29,949 --> 00:30:33,029
I'm formerly cruel,
and I turned a new leaf.
516
00:30:34,141 --> 00:30:35,681
What are you now?
517
00:30:35,706 --> 00:30:38,206
A little indisposed at the moment.
518
00:30:39,209 --> 00:30:41,289
How did that get there?
519
00:30:42,904 --> 00:30:44,084
How'd what?
520
00:30:44,624 --> 00:30:45,924
The ankle bracelet?
521
00:30:45,949 --> 00:30:47,509
The ankle bracelet what?
522
00:30:47,694 --> 00:30:49,954
How did that fucking ankle bracelet
523
00:30:49,979 --> 00:30:52,159
get on your ankle?
524
00:30:57,004 --> 00:31:00,024
I don't care what your name
is or what you're doing.
525
00:31:00,574 --> 00:31:02,614
People fucking suck, man.
526
00:31:03,054 --> 00:31:05,134
And you don't, so...
527
00:31:05,884 --> 00:31:07,434
How do you know that, man?
528
00:31:08,584 --> 00:31:10,234
Know what?
529
00:31:10,274 --> 00:31:12,074
That people fucking suck?
530
00:31:12,714 --> 00:31:14,374
I work in a pawn shop.
531
00:31:15,714 --> 00:31:17,344
Glenn...
532
00:31:18,594 --> 00:31:20,694
Ah, man.
533
00:31:21,894 --> 00:31:23,224
Go.
534
00:31:23,249 --> 00:31:26,099
Go up there and tell
your dad you're okay
535
00:31:26,124 --> 00:31:28,864
and give him this fucking awesome.
536
00:31:28,889 --> 00:31:30,719
Father's Day Fresh Sombrero,
537
00:31:30,744 --> 00:31:33,444
and, man, just see
the look on his face.
538
00:31:33,469 --> 00:31:34,999
Alright, and, man
539
00:31:35,024 --> 00:31:37,284
feel how fucking hard he hugs you,
540
00:31:37,309 --> 00:31:39,799
'cause he's not crazy like my dad.
541
00:31:39,839 --> 00:31:41,109
He's just drunk.
542
00:31:41,134 --> 00:31:42,784
He can stop that.
543
00:31:45,704 --> 00:31:47,354
Give him a chance.
544
00:31:47,379 --> 00:31:48,959
You bought it.
545
00:31:50,234 --> 00:31:51,794
You kept it fresh.
546
00:31:52,844 --> 00:31:54,384
Yeah.
547
00:31:55,624 --> 00:31:57,154
Because you love him.
548
00:31:59,194 --> 00:32:00,454
Yeah.
549
00:32:02,194 --> 00:32:04,024
Give it to him.
550
00:32:05,764 --> 00:32:07,074
Okay.
551
00:32:10,684 --> 00:32:13,294
Please, tell him, uh, not
to wear it around town,
552
00:32:13,319 --> 00:32:16,359
'cause of the, you know,
the Ranger and Mexico, and...
553
00:32:17,449 --> 00:32:20,189
Just please tell him to
hide... hide the sombrero.
554
00:32:20,214 --> 00:32:21,314
Cool.
555
00:32:49,909 --> 00:32:53,919
The computer you wish to
use is right over here.
556
00:33:36,689 --> 00:33:38,229
I'm hearing in your voice
557
00:33:38,254 --> 00:33:41,994
an indication that...
maybe you think I'm stupid.
558
00:33:44,354 --> 00:33:46,894
Would you like, Ranger,
to hear a scenario?
559
00:33:47,589 --> 00:33:49,239
I would like to hear
how the bracelet
560
00:33:49,264 --> 00:33:50,794
got on your ankle.
561
00:33:53,174 --> 00:33:56,044
Well, here's the scenario.
562
00:33:56,069 --> 00:33:57,719
And at the end, you
might ask yourself,
563
00:33:57,744 --> 00:33:59,814
"Who's the fucking
nincompoop here?"
564
00:34:00,364 --> 00:34:03,974
Keeping vigil night and day.
Vigil for my caring parents.
565
00:34:03,999 --> 00:34:06,309
Night and day. Tired.
566
00:34:06,364 --> 00:34:08,324
In their hospital. Nod off.
567
00:34:08,349 --> 00:34:10,879
From the long vigil. I wake up.
568
00:34:10,904 --> 00:34:13,824
I got a fucking gizmo
attached to me here.
569
00:34:13,909 --> 00:34:16,609
Someone latched up
the wrong man, Ranger.
570
00:34:16,634 --> 00:34:19,724
Nincompoop? Not me.
571
00:34:19,749 --> 00:34:21,809
Not in this scenario.
572
00:34:22,384 --> 00:34:25,254
A Kilroy County
Deputy put that on you.
573
00:34:25,942 --> 00:34:27,942
Yeah. Okay.
574
00:34:27,967 --> 00:34:30,397
He thought you were
Paul Allen Brown.
575
00:34:30,422 --> 00:34:31,682
Well, I'm New Leaf.
576
00:34:31,824 --> 00:34:33,304
We've established that,
577
00:34:33,384 --> 00:34:35,734
and I've never been to Texas, Jack,
578
00:34:35,759 --> 00:34:38,239
and I got a Texas gizmo on me here,
579
00:34:38,264 --> 00:34:40,794
and you got no jurisdiction
on my goddamn shit,
580
00:34:40,819 --> 00:34:43,559
so unless you want to
give me a fucking trim,
581
00:34:43,584 --> 00:34:45,584
get this bitch off my ankle.
582
00:34:45,609 --> 00:34:46,849
Toot Sweet.
583
00:34:46,874 --> 00:34:49,704
That's French,
Motherfucker, for pronto.
584
00:34:49,729 --> 00:34:52,599
That's I-talian,
Motherfucker, for right now.
585
00:34:52,624 --> 00:34:54,794
And that's English,
Jack, your native tongue.
586
00:34:54,819 --> 00:34:56,299
So you get it.
587
00:34:56,324 --> 00:34:58,104
So get it done.
588
00:35:01,594 --> 00:35:03,514
You've never been to Texas?
589
00:35:06,294 --> 00:35:07,504
Well...
590
00:35:08,644 --> 00:35:10,134
Well what?
591
00:35:10,474 --> 00:35:11,984
Yesterday, yeah.
592
00:35:12,434 --> 00:35:14,464
And today, passing through.
593
00:35:15,304 --> 00:35:17,334
Today, yeah.
594
00:35:18,174 --> 00:35:20,014
On your trip to Mexico.
595
00:35:20,654 --> 00:35:22,024
Yeah.
596
00:35:22,964 --> 00:35:24,544
Mexico.
597
00:35:25,184 --> 00:35:26,764
Yeah.
598
00:35:27,704 --> 00:35:29,154
Mexico.
599
00:35:29,494 --> 00:35:30,984
You keep saying that.
600
00:35:34,934 --> 00:35:37,494
What were you doing in Mexico?
601
00:35:38,244 --> 00:35:39,754
You seem.
602
00:35:40,204 --> 00:35:42,764
I don't know...
sort of local to me.
603
00:35:56,824 --> 00:35:58,404
Fuck you.
604
00:36:00,044 --> 00:36:01,604
Fuck me?
605
00:36:02,044 --> 00:36:04,124
Local? What's that?
606
00:36:04,373 --> 00:36:06,289
Is that supposed to mean
I'm less than something
607
00:36:06,314 --> 00:36:07,744
or something?
608
00:36:07,769 --> 00:36:09,899
I was well raised.
609
00:36:09,924 --> 00:36:13,014
You could etch on my tombstone,
"He should have known better."
610
00:36:13,039 --> 00:36:15,949
I was well raised by
good, caring people.
611
00:36:16,079 --> 00:36:18,169
But I'm the dog that
you clean up after
612
00:36:18,194 --> 00:36:20,104
and then hit with a
fucking newspaper.
613
00:36:20,169 --> 00:36:24,129
I'm bad news, Ranger,
but I'm not stupid,
614
00:36:24,154 --> 00:36:29,164
and I never broke one law in
your fucking Lone Star State.
615
00:36:29,189 --> 00:36:31,709
So, you get this bracelet off.
616
00:36:32,189 --> 00:36:33,709
I got things I need to do.
617
00:36:33,734 --> 00:36:35,864
My parents died today.
618
00:36:35,889 --> 00:36:38,029
There are tasks.
619
00:36:39,534 --> 00:36:41,084
There's been, here,
620
00:36:41,954 --> 00:36:44,264
a peculiar
concentration of activity
621
00:36:44,289 --> 00:36:46,339
involving, somehow...
622
00:36:46,364 --> 00:36:47,904
Mexico.
623
00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:51,924
Among a peculiar
number of people here.
624
00:36:56,404 --> 00:36:57,664
Killer.
625
00:36:59,044 --> 00:37:00,054
Me?
626
00:37:00,079 --> 00:37:01,299
Yeah.
627
00:37:01,324 --> 00:37:02,454
Convicted.
628
00:37:02,479 --> 00:37:03,829
Yeah.
629
00:37:03,909 --> 00:37:06,479
Motherfucker taunted
my mother and father,
630
00:37:06,504 --> 00:37:07,894
and I did the time behind the bars
631
00:37:07,919 --> 00:37:09,749
and down in the barrel.
632
00:37:09,774 --> 00:37:11,304
Taunted.
633
00:37:11,999 --> 00:37:13,399
Yeah.
634
00:37:13,424 --> 00:37:15,294
And you shot him.
635
00:37:15,319 --> 00:37:16,829
Yeah.
636
00:37:17,684 --> 00:37:19,584
For taunting someone.
637
00:37:20,124 --> 00:37:21,744
Not someone.
638
00:37:22,084 --> 00:37:23,734
My mother and father.
639
00:37:26,484 --> 00:37:27,994
And since then...
640
00:37:29,549 --> 00:37:31,139
Since then what?
641
00:37:31,964 --> 00:37:34,704
You let anyone
else have it like that?
642
00:37:34,729 --> 00:37:36,319
No one's given me a reason.
643
00:37:38,574 --> 00:37:41,614
What were you doing
in Mexico, New Leaf?
644
00:37:43,274 --> 00:37:44,714
New Leaf?
645
00:37:47,479 --> 00:37:50,909
I was researching LensCrafters
franchise opportunities
646
00:37:50,934 --> 00:37:53,454
in the suburbs of Greater
northwestern Mexico.
647
00:37:53,479 --> 00:37:55,739
I'm a registered,
licensed franchisee
648
00:37:55,764 --> 00:37:58,164
in the LensCrafters
franchise family.
649
00:37:58,189 --> 00:38:01,629
I got $96,000 of my
parents' life savings
650
00:38:01,654 --> 00:38:03,674
laying around in the
form of hard costs,
651
00:38:03,749 --> 00:38:05,799
such as frames, lenses,
652
00:38:05,824 --> 00:38:09,044
and eyeglass stands
I'm trying to recoup on.
653
00:38:09,109 --> 00:38:12,329
I attended a Mexican
LensCrafters symposium yesterday
654
00:38:12,354 --> 00:38:13,854
for that reason.
655
00:38:15,394 --> 00:38:19,024
Here's my ticket, Wesley
Walker, Texas Ranger.
656
00:38:20,299 --> 00:38:22,599
And I was at a real
fucking disadvantage, man,
657
00:38:22,624 --> 00:38:25,624
seeking Mexican wholesale
franchise discount opportunities
658
00:38:25,664 --> 00:38:27,884
with this shit on my ankle.
659
00:38:27,934 --> 00:38:29,514
So now, man
660
00:38:30,454 --> 00:38:32,024
get her off.
661
00:38:32,764 --> 00:38:34,944
I'm not fucking around.
Look at my face.
662
00:38:41,254 --> 00:38:44,784
You wandered down to Mexico
with your folks at death's door?
663
00:38:45,711 --> 00:38:47,251
I'm useless, Ranger.
664
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:49,409
It was their life savings.
665
00:38:49,434 --> 00:38:51,044
I endeavored to put it to good use
666
00:38:51,069 --> 00:38:53,159
before they passed away
into the it's-never-gonna
667
00:38:53,184 --> 00:38:55,534
fucking-happen-now end of it all.
668
00:38:55,644 --> 00:38:58,214
I didn't wander down to Mexico.
669
00:38:58,239 --> 00:38:59,589
I hurried.
670
00:38:59,614 --> 00:39:01,164
For them.
671
00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:03,329
Because as of 7:00
a.m. this morning,
672
00:39:03,354 --> 00:39:04,824
there was still hope.
673
00:39:06,747 --> 00:39:07,917
And now?
674
00:39:12,104 --> 00:39:13,314
And now
675
00:39:14,454 --> 00:39:15,654
nope.
676
00:39:21,244 --> 00:39:22,684
Seriously, man.
677
00:39:22,709 --> 00:39:24,709
Stand the fuck up
and get this off me.
678
00:39:25,774 --> 00:39:27,324
I got things I need to do.
679
00:39:51,274 --> 00:39:52,694
Any word?
680
00:39:54,234 --> 00:39:55,444
Pirdoo.
681
00:39:57,714 --> 00:39:59,244
Word on Glenn?
682
00:39:59,284 --> 00:40:00,844
Word on Glenn.
683
00:40:01,284 --> 00:40:03,194
Glenn's home, Ranger.
684
00:40:04,334 --> 00:40:06,054
Well, that's great.
685
00:40:06,594 --> 00:40:08,694
It's fucking great, yeah.
686
00:40:09,334 --> 00:40:10,814
Where was your boy?
687
00:40:11,554 --> 00:40:12,904
Road trip.
688
00:40:12,954 --> 00:40:14,374
Roadie.
689
00:40:14,824 --> 00:40:16,154
He wrote me a note.
690
00:40:16,304 --> 00:40:17,854
It just washed away.
691
00:40:18,694 --> 00:40:20,434
He brought me something home.
692
00:40:21,110 --> 00:40:22,290
From his trip?
693
00:40:22,319 --> 00:40:23,329
Yeah.
694
00:40:23,354 --> 00:40:24,704
Father's Day.
695
00:40:24,744 --> 00:40:25,874
Well, that's fine.
696
00:40:27,184 --> 00:40:28,774
That's a fine thing.
697
00:40:29,314 --> 00:40:30,964
Check it out.
698
00:40:38,324 --> 00:40:39,934
Check it out, guy.
699
00:41:21,284 --> 00:41:23,324
Yeah, I went to Mexico,
700
00:41:23,364 --> 00:41:26,374
primarily because, if
my parents passed away,
701
00:41:26,414 --> 00:41:30,244
I wanted to immediately
kill So-Called James.
702
00:41:30,284 --> 00:41:32,244
But I still, of course,
703
00:41:32,269 --> 00:41:35,139
frequent LensCrafters
franchise message boards
704
00:41:35,204 --> 00:41:37,904
in the hope of identifying
opportunities to recoup
705
00:41:37,944 --> 00:41:41,904
some of my parents' investment
in LensCrafters and in me.
706
00:41:42,479 --> 00:41:45,499
At this point, a
sweet second chance
707
00:41:45,524 --> 00:41:48,084
at a brick-and-mortar
franchise store is
708
00:41:48,134 --> 00:41:49,784
a fucking pipe dream.
709
00:41:49,834 --> 00:41:51,484
Who the fuck are we kidding here,
710
00:41:51,524 --> 00:41:54,024
given our fiduciary situation.
711
00:41:56,989 --> 00:41:59,339
But it's imprudent to
bypass opportunities
712
00:41:59,364 --> 00:42:01,534
to allay our leftover
hard-cost stock items
713
00:42:01,559 --> 00:42:04,389
such as frames, lenses,
and eyeglass stands
714
00:42:04,414 --> 00:42:07,804
at franchise mixers and
various franchise symposiums
715
00:42:07,829 --> 00:42:10,699
where franchise owners
can barter, negotiate,
716
00:42:10,804 --> 00:42:13,334
or just do a fellow
LensCrafters franchise owner
717
00:42:13,374 --> 00:42:15,074
a fucking solid.
718
00:42:15,114 --> 00:42:16,634
So, yeah, I dropped in there.
719
00:42:16,684 --> 00:42:18,074
In Mexico.
720
00:42:18,114 --> 00:42:19,514
While there.
721
00:42:19,554 --> 00:42:21,474
Hoping...
722
00:42:21,514 --> 00:42:23,954
Hoping I could sell
some reserve stock
723
00:42:23,994 --> 00:42:25,774
and lessen the loss
of the investment
724
00:42:25,824 --> 00:42:27,914
my elderly father,
Kevin, and mother, Denise,
725
00:42:27,954 --> 00:42:30,214
made in LensCrafters and in me.
726
00:42:33,914 --> 00:42:35,704
No takers.
727
00:42:40,314 --> 00:42:41,924
So, at the end of their lives,
728
00:42:41,964 --> 00:42:44,274
what my parents
lost by investing in me
729
00:42:44,314 --> 00:42:46,664
was entire and full.
730
00:42:46,714 --> 00:42:48,274
It was complete.
731
00:42:55,114 --> 00:42:57,984
Now I'll just take
a bath on this shit,
732
00:42:58,024 --> 00:43:00,374
'cause I need some
fucking money for a gun
733
00:43:00,424 --> 00:43:04,474
so I can pay a fateful
visit to So-Called James.
734
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:09,159
Where's young Glenn?
735
00:43:09,184 --> 00:43:10,764
Young Glenn is sleeping.
736
00:43:12,489 --> 00:43:14,099
In the back?
737
00:43:14,124 --> 00:43:15,654
At home.
738
00:43:15,679 --> 00:43:17,679
How can I help you?
739
00:43:17,704 --> 00:43:19,354
I got glasses.
740
00:43:19,394 --> 00:43:21,614
Cases and cases of eyewear.
741
00:43:21,639 --> 00:43:23,809
Like, here.
742
00:43:23,834 --> 00:43:26,134
Cases and cases.
743
00:43:29,194 --> 00:43:31,364
You're gonna take a
bath on these, man.
744
00:43:31,389 --> 00:43:33,869
I'm not a wholesaler.
I'm a Mom-and-Pop.
745
00:43:34,418 --> 00:43:35,998
But my wife
746
00:43:36,454 --> 00:43:38,964
my wife left us, so I'm just a Pop.
747
00:43:40,019 --> 00:43:43,089
Just a Pop store, bud, so
I can't do you right, here.
748
00:43:43,114 --> 00:43:44,424
This is a lot of stock.
749
00:43:44,449 --> 00:43:47,019
Well, I need the
money for something.
750
00:43:47,044 --> 00:43:49,444
You own a pawn shop.
You know the story.
751
00:43:49,469 --> 00:43:51,515
What do you need? We
have a lot of stock.
752
00:43:51,539 --> 00:43:53,759
Maybe I can make you
a deal on something.
753
00:43:53,784 --> 00:43:55,694
You don't stock it.
754
00:43:55,734 --> 00:43:59,294
You don't stock what I need.
755
00:43:59,744 --> 00:44:01,484
Well, okay.
756
00:44:01,509 --> 00:44:03,689
How many boxes of eyewear?
757
00:44:03,714 --> 00:44:05,104
72.
758
00:44:05,889 --> 00:44:07,769
I'll give you $2,000, all in.
759
00:44:08,450 --> 00:44:09,930
That'll cover it.
760
00:44:13,884 --> 00:44:15,274
Hey.
761
00:44:15,299 --> 00:44:16,879
Yeah?
762
00:44:17,844 --> 00:44:19,364
You got a good kid.
763
00:44:20,114 --> 00:44:21,404
Your kid.
764
00:44:23,244 --> 00:44:25,244
I know him a little.
765
00:44:25,269 --> 00:44:26,799
I wanted you to know that.
766
00:44:28,854 --> 00:44:30,404
Glenn?
767
00:44:30,944 --> 00:44:32,514
Glenn's a good kid.
768
00:44:33,554 --> 00:44:35,114
He is, yeah.
769
00:44:37,074 --> 00:44:39,319
You sure you want to follow
through on this transaction?
770
00:44:39,344 --> 00:44:40,934
Yeah, I am.
771
00:44:44,654 --> 00:44:46,454
Glenn works here?
772
00:44:47,094 --> 00:44:48,534
Sometimes.
773
00:44:48,574 --> 00:44:50,034
Most of the time.
774
00:44:50,574 --> 00:44:51,624
Seems like.
775
00:44:53,664 --> 00:44:55,214
So, it's a
776
00:44:55,754 --> 00:44:58,784
more of a Kid and
Pop store, really.
777
00:44:59,349 --> 00:45:02,479
But no one ever says that,
'cause no one really sees that
778
00:45:02,504 --> 00:45:06,114
'cause kids don't really
do that that... that much.
779
00:45:06,154 --> 00:45:07,234
Right?
780
00:45:18,604 --> 00:45:20,084
Here's your money.
50866
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