All language subtitles for Mom s08e04_English

Hey, you guys ever read
the back of the menu here?

It's the story of
the Burgundy Bistro.

Yeah, started in 1959
by Tom Burgundy.

Wait, that's somebody's name?

I thought it was
just called that

to remind us
we can't order wine.

I thought it was the
color of the awning.

Burgundys all look miserable.

It's an old picture.

They probably had
to stand real still

in order for it to stick.

It was 1959.

We had TV, cars,
women wore pants.

Well, the Burgundys all look
like they just smelled

something bad.

In olden times,
people didn't shower for months.

It was 1959.

We had astronauts.

Toot, toot!
Make way for the love train.

(chuckles)
Hey, everybody.

Hi.

I'm gonna give you

a very good rating on the app.

Oh, God.

(groans)

And release.

(exhales) Hey, Jill,
can we bring anything tonight...

(gasps)

(Jill shushes)

Not everyone was invited.

Relax. We all know
you guys are having

a secret double date
tonight, and no one cares.

I didn't know.

I kind of care.

Okay, well, see you later.

Well, not all of you. Damn it.

It's not that it was a secret,

it's just that we're
in relationships

and I wanted to be sensitive and
not rub it in your lonely faces.

Thank you.

I'm in more than a relationship.

Adam and I are in love
on a whole new level.

We're above love,
looking down on it thinking,

"Remember when our love was new
and we thought we had it all?"

Now it's so much deeper.

It's higher and deeper.

And I'm sorry,
I'm going on and on.

Marjorie, how are the cats?

Two of them have
eye infections.

Actually, it's three now.

I warned Simon
to stay away from Garfunkel.

Tammy, can you stop
and get a new tube of ointment?

No can do. Chef Rudy's rolling
out his new food truck tonight,

and he needs me to
check to make sure

it's up and running smoothly.

How do you go from a Michelin
star restaurant to a food truck?

Alcohol, drugs and a
lot of missing veal.

(laughter)

I got to say, though,
it's a pretty sweet truck.

Used to be
Pita Piper's Kabob Wagon,

but I gave her a full rebuild.

So, how was it working
with your old boyfriend?

You two test out
the shock absorbers?

Oh, no. Chef Rudy's
the kind of mistake

you only make three times.

I set some ground rules.

He's not allowed
to look at me or touch me

or think about me, but
that one's harder to enforce.

(phone chimes)

Aw, it's Adam. He
misses me already.

"Higher and deeper."

Your hate only makes
it more beautiful.

♪ ♪

Toot, toot!

(chuckles)

We thought we'd try this again

around people
who appreciate love.

Hey.

Hey. What up?

I'll tell you what
up: homemade flan.

It's my first time
with this recipe, so be gentle.

Oh, babe, it's
gonna be delicious.

Just like you.

Mmm.

Why don't you just
put that over there

next to Andy's big pile
of fat trimmings?

Yeah, you yell at me
if I leave it on,

you yell at me if I trim it off.

I'm gonna get up.

Uh-huh.
(clears throat)

So, where can I be of use?

Ah, you can help me
finish setting the table.

Andy just dumped the sterling
in a pile like we're in prison.

(stifled laugh)
Aren't we?

What are you cooking?

Oh, I'm gonna reverse-sear
a couple of tri-tips,

and then this itty-bitty
piece of salmon is for Jill.

Hmm. You'd think I'm the one
with high cholesterol.

My cholesterol's fine.

If you say so.

Don't have to. My doctor did.

Yeah, my cholesterol's
getting a little high lately.

See, my cholesterol's
never an issue

'cause I never get it tested.

The real problem
is these tests.

(laughing)

(laughs):
Yeah, tests. Who needs 'em?

(mouths)

(whispers):
Something terrible.

It's so pretty here.

Tammy, put this in your mouth.

We made rules.

The food. Uh, tell me if it
resonates with the common man.

I'm not sure. Any chance you
could sneak some bacon in there?

Ugh. Never mind.

I don't know why
I'm doubting myself.

These people are in for
the delight of their tiny lives.

Damn, $24 chicken from a truck?

It's not chicken,
you hillbilly, it's capon.

From a truck in a parking lot
in front of the roller derby.

Hey, buddy, I'm gonna need
two buckets of chicken

and some slaw.

Who's he talking to?

That would be you.

Uh, there's no slaw.

This isn't a picnic in Alabammy.

Then screw off, fancy-pants.

He gave me a double dokie.

You just lost
your first customer.

Well, I didn't like
his attitude.

These are roller derby people.
It's not gonna get better.

Oh, my God.

There's a whole herd of them.

Lot of tattoos.

You're gonna die.

Uh, Tammy.

It occurs to me
that I might need a middleman.

Uh, someone who speaks carny.

Uh, would you stay and help me?

No. Wait. No.

I'll pay you a hundred dollars.

And let you boss around Paul.

Done.

Paul, move my car.

Chop, chop.

Talk.

You talk.

So, uh, hey, did you
guys happen to catch

the new Tom Hanks movie?

Oh, yeah.
That guy really is every man.

Andy can't stay awake
for a whole movie.

(laughs)

Well, if you didn't want me
to fall asleep,

why would you leave
a weighted blanket

on a recliner
in your home theater?

Well, you don't fall asleep
watching football in there.

Yeah, I don't, because
I can't guess the endings,

unlike the movies you pick.

"She owns a bookstore,
he's in real estate.

Spoiler alert:
they fall in love."

Well, at least they have
happy endings.

If you don't love me,
just say so.

I'm gonna go lose myself
in meat.

(thuds)

Tom Hanks? Really?

If we turn on each
other, no one survives.

You're right, I'm sorry.

There should be an app

that tells you
when your friends are fighting,

so you can fake
a dead grandma and stay home.

That's a great idea.

I really love you.

I really love you.

(metallic thud)

Okay, calm down.

The steak can sense your anger.

If we leave now, they might
not remember we were here.

No, no, no.

Jill's my friend
and she needs my help.

God put me here
for a reason.

It's a big house. Could
be hours till I find her.

Yes, I know, sir.
It's coming right up, okay?

Just be a few more minutes.
Thank you for your patience.

I appreciate it, all right?

I see you're wearing your beret
at a saucy angle.

Are you trying
to send a message?

Eyes on the chicken.

Where's my food? We're
missing the dirt bike raffle.

It's coming right up.

I need five "coke vans"
and I need 'em now.

Heard.

What's our ETA?

I don't know.
I'm still on number one.

What?

Well, it's opening night.

There might be
food critics out there.

I'm sorry, he's
a perfectionist.

Here, enjoy a complimentary
cup of cola from Paris.

This is warm.

That's how they drink
it in France. Oh, my God.

Am I the only one
who summered in Provence?

Order up.

Finally.

That'll be $24.

(Jill crying)

Jill?

JILL:
Over here.

One more time.

Here.

Here.

There you are.
What's going on?

Andy and I are gonna break up,
and it's all your fault.

Hang on,
I don't want you to think

I'm not taking you seriously.

Okay, now go.

After seeing you and Adam
at the Bistro so in love,

I got to thinking I want
Andy and I to have that, too.

I mean, sure,

we're good, but I want
to go to that higher ground

you were talking about.

I want to get this show
on the road.

There's nothing wrong with that.

That's what I thought.

So I came home,
marched right into the bathroom,

told Andy I wanted
to deepen our relationship,

and you know what he said?

"Can I finish my shower first?"

Can you believe that?

So I flushed the toilet on him,
grabbed all the towels and left.

(exhales)

Why am I even
in this relationship?

I mean, despite the efforts
of some pretty good doctors,

I am not getting any younger.

Here's the thing:

the Bonnie-Adam journey
to perfection

starts in a little town
I call Communication.

Well, how can I communicate
if he won't talk?

Well, first you have to stop off
at a quaint little hamlet

I call Patience.

Adam was the same way.

He'd only open up to me after
watching a movie about sports

or when someone famous died.

You know, someone they made
a sports movie about.

After all these years
and all these relationships,

you'd think I'd understand men
by now.

Don't beat yourself up.

How are you supposed
to understand the people

who brought us war
and magic shows?

I mean, they don't even
understand themselves.

I think that's why
they overexplain everything.

Oh, God.

I asked Andy to turn up the heat

and he told me how to build
a damn thermostat.

I asked Adam
to turn down the heat

and he explained
menopause to me.

Sometimes with Bonnie,
I say, "Okay, let's talk,"

and she's off to the races.

I just nod my head
until she punches herself out.

And that works?

(scoffs):
Yeah, it does.

If I sit in the right place,

I can watch TV
over her shoulder.

Jill demands eye contact.

You should hear some
of the things she says.

I guarantee you
I've heard worse.

Oh, really?

You want to play
that game with me?

"We can't watch Shark Tank
anymore because you think

all my inventions are stupid."

"I know it's 3:00 in the
morning and you're sound asleep,

but why do you hate my feet?"

(chuckles)

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That fight greeted the dawn.

Okay, okay.

"There's a different brand
of women's razor

"in the shower.

Who are you sleeping with?"

Oh, my God, my knees
just buckled.

What'd you say?

I said I'm not sleeping
with anyone, but if I were,

she'd be smart enough
to shave her legs at her place.

To which Bonnie replied,
"Oh, so now you don't think

I'm smart enough?"

I mean,
that-that-that's terrifying.

I also realized that I've been
buying women's razors

this whole time.

Order up.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
It's not break time.

I can't go on.

No, you're not allowed
to say that

until you've actually started.

How did this happen?

What have I done with my life?

Ah, boy.

I traveled the world

with nothing but my knives
and a dream.

I trained under
the great chefs of Europe,

devoted years to my artistry,
and for what?

To end up in a parking lot
serving ruffians in tank tops

and pants that unzip
into shorts.

You know, those people passed
quite a few vending machines

to get to you, all because
something inside them said

there's more to life
than Doritos.

Mm. But is there?

Yes! Your amazing chicken thing.

Mm, I'm already in
a tiny metal coffin.

Just close the lid
on your way out.

Oh, cut the pity party.
You think this truck is small?

Try seven years
in an eight-by-ten cell

with a chronic masturbator.

I did not survive that
to watch you give up.

Ugh. This is classic
French cuisine.

Giving up is what the French do.

You know, the thing is,

I've been in a hot patrol car
for ten hours.

I mean, an 84-year-old woman
spit on me today.

When I get home, I just want
to take a shower and relax.

I don't want to talk
about my feelings.

Especially when I'm
not wearing pants.

I hear you.

You know, after my divorce
I told myself

I'm not gonna fall in love,

I'm not gonna fall in love,
and what did I do?

You fell in love.

I did the same thing,
my friend.

What's wrong with us?

We can't say no
to a challenge.

That's why we grill tri-tip.

Maybe we should think
about our relationships

the same way.

Continue.

You know, season it with care.

Cook low and slow, always
cut against the grain.

Sometimes just let it rest.

Yeah, I got everything except
cutting against the grain.

I don't know, maybe
I'm just hungry.

You know what I think
you're afraid of?

My mother.

Success.

I mean, restaurants are so over.

Trucks are the future.
Food on the go.

And I see a fleet
of Coq au Van trucks

outside every
convention center...

and Masonic Temple.

You do?

Yes! And it all starts
with that one plate of chicken.

We've just got to find
a faster way

to get it out the window.

Yes.

We could throw it at them.

This is street food.
You eat it standing up.

It needs to come with
a handle, like a stick

or a taco shell.

Hell, I'd settle for
a damn ice cream cone.

(gasps):
Our pita bread.

Paul, you're my hero.

What are you planning
on doing with that?

Saving your ass.

And I'm gonna squirt mayo
on it, so look away.

Fine, but let's call it aioli.

This is the best tri-tip
I've ever had in my life.

That, my friend, is the magic
of the reverse sear.

You took a photo
of it, right?

Oh, yeah. I already got
three likes on Instagram.

I should follow you.

It's RandyAndyBeefKing.

Those bastards are
already eating.

No, we're here for peace.

Incoming.

Hey.

Got your salmon here.

I left it on the grill a little
longer than I expected,

but I promise it's still fish
under the black part.

Thank you.

Now, Jill, why don't you tell
Andy what you've been feeling?

Okay.

Dude, stop eating.

Oh. Thank you.

When I came into the bathroom
this afternoon,

I was just trying to be
emotionally honest with you,

and you got all cranky-pants.

Look, Jill, I'm a cop, okay?
At the end of the day...

Low and slow.

Um, yeah, yeah, no, I-I--

You're right, I could have been
much more receptive.

I love it when you
open up to me.

Jill, tell Andy what
you need from him.

I need you to be
honest with me.

Good or bad.

(whispers):
Nice job.

Andy?

What do you think
about what Jill just said?

It's okay.

Well, got to admit
I'm a little ashamed

of the job I did on your fish.

Not gonna lie,
I was cooking angry.

I-I saw the fish as you,

and I let it char
on direct heat.

I'm better than that.

But I, I hear you, and
I know what you want.

You want a deeper
relationship,

and I'm all for that.

Really?

Of course. I love you.

I love you, too.

And I know I got
to pick my spots.

There's times when you're
not ready to talk.

But I'm like a tiny
little terrier.

I want what I want
when I want it.

And that's...

(grunts)

No, no.

Okay.

Could I have a piece
of your steak?

(chuckles):
Aw, of course, babe.

You can have the whole thing.

My cholesterol's a
little high anyway.

Look at that.

A couple of minutes
with Dr. Bonnie,

and the lovebirds are
back on the same perch.

There is no doubt I should
take the shortest possible path

to being an actual
licensed therapist.

Well, actually, this guy
here sat me down...

Season with care.
Way to go, babe.

You really do know people.

And you wanted to
sneak out and go home.

I never thought I'd say this,

but somehow the pita
pulls it all together.

Told you.

Thank you, Tammy.

I don't think I could have
survived my maiden voyage

without my favorite maiden.

Oh, that's okay. I mean,
I cleaned up on tips.

Plus, I didn't have
to watch Marjorie

put ointment in
her cat's eye.

Do you really think that I could
have a fleet of these trucks?

Oh, yeah. But I
want a percentage.

Done.

(chuckles)

Look at us.

Despite our past, we learned
that we could work together

and, uh, keep things
strictly professional.

You have a little
mayo on your lip.

It's aioli.

(thumping)

(sighs)
I got to say,

I am really impressed
with myself.

I mean, we walked into
the middle of a breakup,

and I turned it
into a breakthrough.

(chuckles)

Yeah.

I kid, but I really should
write a book on relationships.

Do the speaker's circuit,
go on Sally Jessy Raphael.

Which, of course, would
turn into my own talk show.

Divorce lawyers
will hate me,

but the world
will love me.

Hold my hand.

This. This is what
I'm talking about!

(both chuckle)

Oh. It's Jill.

Safety first.

"Andy just told me
he wants a..."

Oh.

Wants a what?

A-Andy wants a break from her.

What did you do?

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