All language subtitles for Home Improvement -Season 8- E5

Welcome to Tool Time on location.

And now the star of the show,
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!

Thank you, everybody,
and welcome to Tool Time.

I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor,

and, of course, you all know
my assistant, Al Borland.

To give something back
to the community,

Binford has designed
this complete workshop on wheels.

We'll be coming
into your neighborhood

to help with your household repairs.

That's right, we're equipped to fix
your tools, your car, your plumbing.

And on a good day, your schnauzer.

Let's take a look at this van, shall we?

It's a custom-made Chevy half-ton.
Custom-made flares.

It's got a duel rear axle,
aluminum wheels,

440 horse 350,
but inside is the real story.

This thing is equipped to fix anything

from a Hoover vacuum
to the Hoover Dam.

Complete set of Allen wrenches,
circular saw, cordless drill, table vise.

Even one of Al's vices.

And here we have a laptop computer
with a complete set

of home repair manuals on CD-ROM.

- We call it the brains of the operation.
- Something we've never called Tim.

Moving on. We even have our own
paint department on this van.

You can create the custom color
of your choice, right over here.

And paint isn't the only thing
we make to order.

Because a working man works up
a hearty appetite.

That's why our circular saw
doubles as a deli slicer.

We'll make you a salami
and oak sandwich.

Or how about a dagwood, extra lean?

This brazing furnace?
Well, it's also a barbecue grill.

So while we're sharpening your ax,
"ax us" for a hamburger.

You can wash it down
with a Binford 6100 milkshake

because our paint mixer
doubles as a blender.

- What flavor's that?
- White semi-gloss.

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I don't get it. We've been driving
around for 20 minutes.

- Where is everybody?
- Maybe nobody has anything broken.

Something is always broken, Al.

Guys, we forgot something.

There you go, Smitty.
Brand-new peephole.

That should cut down
on those unexpected visits

from your ex-wife, huh?

God bless you, Tool Man.
You have given me hope.

Okay, Larry. I finished working
on your weed hacker.

Did the work myself, so I gave you
a little bit more power. Gratis, man.

Added a little bit of weight,
so the balance is a little different.

So let me show you
about handling this bad boy.

Al, help me out. Hold it.

All right, safety first, folks.
Always use your goggles.

But now the motor's a little heavier
now. Starting is the same.

All right. Hold on to here.
Gotta give it a crank, there. Oh, yeah.

Little weed here.

Little weed there.

Just like butter!

There you go, Larry.
Start some hacking, buddy.

- Nicely done, Tim.
- Thank you, Al.

Okay, well, that's it for Tool Time.

Hey, Mom,
what do you think of my face?

It's the most precious,
adorable little face I've ever seen.

No, I'm actually going for a goatee.

Where?

Oh, no, wait!
I see a little something here.

No, that's a pimple.

Oh, come on, Mom.
There's gotta be something down here.

Why are you suddenly growing
a beard, anyway?

Well, 'cause the whole team's doing it.

We decided not to shave
until our winning streak's over.

Well, I'm sure you'll win lots of games

and your beard will grow in
nice and thick.

- Yeah.
- But I don't know why

anybody would want to cover up
that sweet, adorable little face.

Come on, Mom.

- Hey, Brad. Hi, honey.
- Hi, sweetie.

Dad, you can see the goatee, right?

Yeah, but your mom prefers
if I don't bring it up.

- Would you...
- I'm gonna go wash up for dinner.

What are we having for dinner?

Well, the boys are having
leftover something.

And you and I are going to Al's
new girlfriend's for dinner.

- We are?
- Yeah.

He said that he told you all about it.

Don't you ever listen
to anything he says?

I don't have to listen to Al.
He's my assistant.

He gets paid a handsome
wage to listen to me.

When are you gonna get used
to the fact that the whole world

- does not revolve around you?
- I'm used to that fact.

I'm working right now on "Why not?"

Well, regardless, we're having dinner
with Al and Trudy tonight.

Gee, I can't wait!

He said that they've known each other
for about a month,

and she's really nice.

I know her. They met on Tool Time.
Don't you remember?

She was that frumpy kook
with the rat that did the wiring.

She wasn't really the rat lady,
but the real rat bit me on the nose?

- It's gonna be a nightmare.
- It'll be fine.

Oh, you say that now, but wait till
after dinner, Al undoes that belt.

And those three bloodcurdling words,
"Let's play Twister!"

- Do we have the right address?
- Yeah, this is it.

She probably lives in the guesthouse
around back. Let's go back there.

- I thought I heard voices out here! Hey!
- Hi!

Al, does the owner know
you're in the main house?

Of course she does.
The owner's Trudy. Come on in!

Wow! What an incredible house!

Yeah. This thing's gotta be worth
a million bucks.

I mean, a million-two
if it's been re-piped with copper.

This is my home away from home.

- And here's Trudy.
- Oh, hi.

- Trudy, good to see you again.
- Nice to see you, Tim.

So nice to meet you, Jill.
Al just raves about you.

Oh, that's so sweet.

- Well, I brought a three-bean salad.
- Oh, you shouldn't have.

I tried to stop her.

Don't be silly. I'm sure it'll be a perfect
complement to the pheasant.

Pheasant? That's my favorite fowl!

- Here! Let me take that.
- Dinner's almost ready.

- Come on. Sit down.
- Great.

Wow! You have an amazing house.

Oh, thank you.
It's been in the family for years.

- You've heard of the Rockefellers?
- Well, of course.

One of them ran over my grandfather.

- That's awful!
- How many times did they hit him?

All right, so would anyone like
some wine? I have a lovely pinot.

I'm sure you do.
I'll have the wine, though.

Oh, Al. Let's not do the pinot.

I have a '91 Chevalier-Montrachet
I've been saving

- for a special occasion.
- Well, that sounds wonderful.

Oh, then I'll run down
to the wine cellar, get it.

Oh, you know, I'd better go with you
because the white Burgundies

are hidden in the east grotto.
Excuse us.

I can't believe Al never told me
that Trudy was rich.

Well, you know,
that stuff's just not important to Al.

He doesn't date for money.

He'd date for an onion ring.

She's got a grotto? A wine cellar?

When I was a kid, the only thing we
had in the cellar was my grandmother.

"Let me out of here! This duct tape's
starting to hurt me! Come on!"

Well, Trudy seems very nice.
And Al seems so happy.

And I feel so stupid for bringing
a three-bean salad to a mansion.

FYI, that three-bean salad wouldn't
taste any better in a Turkish prison.

- Trudy, that was an incredible dinner.
- Thank you. I love to cook.

- And I love to eat.
- We're perfect for each other.

Excuse me, Trudy.
I got lost going to the bathroom.

Is it left of the bowling alley
or on the other side of it?

- Left.
- Right.

It's hard to believe that you guys
have only been dating a month.

You seem so comfortable
with each other.

I know.
Al and I clicked the minute we met.

Yes, we did.

Although, I was a little gun-shy about
getting back into a serious relationship.

My last relationship ended badly, too.

Strike!

My current relationship
is about to end badly.

Tim's great, but Al, well,
he's sensitive and deep

and he never stops giving.

You make me want to be a better Al.

- I'm gonna go bowl one more frame.
- Tim, come here. Sit down.

- We're both so happy for you.
- Thanks.

Al, did you know that today's
our one-month anniversary?

Did I know? You're darn tooting!

Happy anniversary, Gertrude.

Oh, thank you, Albert.

- I've always wanted one of these!
- A cockroach on a chain.

No, it's a scorpion. It's my birth sign.

- It's beautiful.
- Thank you.

Oh, and I also got
a little something for you, too.

I like to save the paper.

Look! Oh, this is the perfect
addition to my exotic car-key collection.

- Thank you.
- Let me take a look at that.

- Look at that!
- Wow!

That's vintage. It's a Ferrari.
What year was this for?

A '66. For Al's '66 Ferrari.

You know, the one that you
like so much in the garage?

It's yours. Happy anniversary.

It's not just a Ferrari. It's a classic!

- The car is completely inappropriate.
- Wrong. It's perfect.

It's dressy, yet casual.

You don't think that it is slightly
insane to give a Ferrari

- on a one-month anniversary?
- Trudy is loaded.

Her giving him a car
is like you giving me boxer shorts.

You'd have to be shallow
not to see what is going on here.

I see what's going on here.

Al got a Ferrari after sticking it out
for one month!

He holds on for a year,
he'll get the Duesenberg

she's got parked in the garage.

Trudy is a really sweet woman

who has some very serious
self-esteem problems.

She obviously feels that she has to
buy Al to keep him in the relationship,

and I think that Al
is uncomfortable with this.

And he was masking his discomfort
with all that giddy laughter?

So? It's a case
of classic overcompensation.

Oh, stop it. Why are you picking
apart something wonderful

- that happened in Al's life?
- What? The relationship or the car?

Both! There wouldn't be a car
without a relationship.

So you're saying that Trudy
is the perfect woman for Al?

You know, you know, I've always had
a good feeling about her.

You said she was a frumpy kook!

The same thing I've called Al.
They're an ideal couple.

- You don't care about Al.
- Yes, I care about him.

- You just care about that stupid Ferrari!
- Stupid Ferrari?

For the sake of our marriage, I'm going
to pretend that you never said that.

- Where's Al?
- You've asked me 15 times.

Why are you so anxious to see him?

- The car looks great, Al!
- Thanks, Tim.

But there's one thing
that would make it look a lot better.

Me behind the wheel. Can I drive it?

- Please, please, please, please?
- I don't know.

- Come on, once around the parking lot.
- We'll see.

I'm having trouble with this car.

Well, it's a 12-cylinder Ferrari.
It's probably a plug.

I know a guy that'll fix it.
Give me a half hour.

Give me the keys. I'll take it over there.

It's not a mechanical problem.

I'm having a problem
accepting such an extravagant gift!

I mean, all I gave Trudy was
that scorpion pendant.

Well, Ferrari, bug on a chain...

It's the thought that counts, isn't it?

- I don't know.
- You've worked really hard

- your whole life, right?
- Yes.

And what do you have to show for it?
Nothing!

Now, you have a woman who
appreciates the real Al Borland.

The competent, trustworthy,
nice, wonderful human being.

It's you, Al. You deserve it.

- Enjoy this.
- I suppose you're right.

- Yes.
- I should just hold my head up high.

- Hold your head up real high.
- Yeah! And put the pedal to the metal!

- Pedal to the metal!
- And enjoy the ride that is my life!

- Ride that is your life!
- Yeah!

- Here are the keys!
- Here are the keys!

- There they go!
- There they go.

You were fantastic. I don't understand
why you're so upset about this game.

Mom, it was a disaster. We won eight
to nothing and I scored three goals.

To most people that would be a good
thing. What am I missing here?

No, Mom. I'm missing something.
Facial hair, okay?

The rest of the team looks like ZZ Top
and I look like a four-year-old.

Poor baby. I mean, you're
the best player on the team,

and everyone else is gonna get those
coveted facial-hair scholarships.

So what you're saying is I really
shouldn't worry about my looks,

and I should more or less focus
on what's important in life?

- Exactly.
- You're so way off.

- Hey, the goatee's coming in!
- You're funny.

All right! House looks good.
You look great, honey.

- Al let you drive the Ferrari?
- Bada-bing!

- So how's the relationship going?
- Perfect! It's like the car and I are one.

No, I mean the relationship
with Al and Trudy.

Oh, Al's sitting
on top of the world right now.

Do you mean
that he is 100 % comfortable

with accepting this expensive gift?

Eighty percent, but I'll have him all
the way there by Friday, guaranteed.

- Hey, buddy. How's it going?
- Well, hi ho, Al.

You look like you're getting ready
for the Grand Prix.

Well, I thought I would embrace
the Ferrari lifestyle.

What do you think?

Well, to quote my old friend, the
famous race-car driver, Stirling Moss,

"You look fine."

I stopped by to see
if you'd like to take a lap

around the neighborhood with me.

Well, I'd love to,
but I gotta finish checking this wiring.

Well, no rush.

We still have to wait for Tim
to come back from his test drive.

Assuming he comes back.
I'd hate for him to run off

with Trudy's generous gift.

You obviously are enjoying it
very much.

Oh, I am. I am. I mean, at first
I was a little uncomfortable,

but then, Tim gave me
some very deep insights.

Yeah, he said not to worry
about how much the car costs.

He said even though I thought it was
an inappropriate gift

that I should just relax and enjoy it.

Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm,
mmm-hmm.

And you should've seen the look on
Trudy's face when she gave it to me.

- Oh, she was so happy.
- So Trudy was happy

and Tim was happy,
but you don't sound so sure.

Well, this kind of puts a little
pressure on the relationship.

I mean, suddenly, you know,
the emotional stakes are much higher.

And what if it doesn't work out? How
can I walk away without feeling guilty?

You can always drive away.
You've got a really fast car.

Oh, Albert, I'm sorry.
Have you talked to Trudy about this?

Oh, I can't.
I don't want to hurt her feelings.

Well, what about you?

You know, the patriot Thomas Paine
said, "It is necessary

"to the happiness of a man
that he be faithful to himself."

I suppose you're right.

I have just been to heaven,

where, by the way,
they still give speeding tickets!

Gosh, Al. I am so glad you stopped by.
Guess what I picked up for you today?

A plane?

No, just driving gloves.

- Would you like a plane?
- No.

Trudy, I wouldn't. I... The fact is,
I really don't even want the car.

- Are you breaking up with me?
- No.

- Why would you even think that?
- Isn't that the first sign?

The man returns the Ferrari.

Oh, no. Trudy, I really like you.

- You do?
- Oh, yeah.

I remember the first time I saw you,
you had that wire

in one hand,
and the rat in the other hand,

and I said to myself, "Oh, boy, Al!
Don't let this one get away!"

Wow. You really don't care
about my money and my cars

- and my wine cellar?
- No. I care about you.

I just...
I would feel a lot more comfortable

if material things
didn't come between us.

I'm not letting you
get away so fast, either.

"Dear Trudy, I know Al feels
it's best to return the Ferrari,

"and I respect that.

"In the short time I was
with the car, we became very close.

"And if at any point you need someone
to be its big brother,

"please know that I'm here.

"Sincerely, Tim Taylor, the man who
controls whether Al works weekends."

- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi. It just may be over.

- Al and Trudy?
- No, no. Me and the car.

Al decided it was a bit too extravagant,
so he gave the Ferrari back.

I'm sorry for your loss.

It's not hopeless. I'm petitioning
to be the car's big brother.

I'm actually pretty happy.
I think Trudy's gonna be good for Al.

Yeah, I like her.
And she gave me her pheasant recipe.

Fresh pheasant, fairly fatty,
fricassee it with a flick of fennel,

fling it on the fire, fabulous.

- Hey, everybody. Great news!
- Hey. Your soccer team finally lost!

- We got killed.
- All right!

I'm excited. Now I don't have to grow
a beard anymore.

Yeah, and when I come to your next
home game, I'll actually be able

to cheer you to win.

Yeah. I'm excited
'cause now I can fit in with the team.

We decided to wax our legs.

Whoa, waxing!

A pretty weird way
for the Westside Warriors

to wind their way to the World Cup.

They've known each other for about
a month, and she's really nice.

I know her. They met on Tool Time.
Don't you remember?

She's that frumpy, kooky... What?

Yeah. She met on Tool Time.
She came there just to be with Al.

She's that frumpy, kooky woman.
Right?

- Okay, one more time.
- Okay.

She met him on Tool Time.
That frumpy kook that had the...

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