Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,871 --> 00:00:07,964
Brad!
2
00:00:09,474 --> 00:00:13,206
How many times have I told him
not to leave these lying around?
3
00:00:15,113 --> 00:00:16,741
This'll show him.
4
00:00:20,985 --> 00:00:22,544
What am I doing?
5
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:30,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
6
00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:37,261
Honestly, what do you think?
7
00:00:41,005 --> 00:00:45,170
- It's kind of a "lumber jacket."
- Yeah! Yeah! That's good.
8
00:00:45,276 --> 00:00:47,575
I'm wearing this to kick off
Woodworking Week.
9
00:00:47,645 --> 00:00:50,581
Honey, listen,
the Calvin Pine collection.
10
00:00:52,517 --> 00:00:56,613
- You smell kind of like a bookshelf.
- Yeah. It's Old Cedar.
11
00:00:58,756 --> 00:00:59,780
It's very sexy.
12
00:00:59,857 --> 00:01:01,223
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
13
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,056
I thought you had to
go to the class today.
14
00:01:04,128 --> 00:01:06,029
- Not till about 10:00.
- Oh, boy!
15
00:01:06,097 --> 00:01:10,000
I have a kind of a window of
opportunity. How about you?
16
00:01:10,068 --> 00:01:13,197
Oh, I've got to be at Tool Time
in 20 minutes.
17
00:01:13,271 --> 00:01:16,036
So, I just have, like, a little peephole.
18
00:01:16,874 --> 00:01:19,605
- Oh, boy.
- I can work with that, I think.
19
00:01:20,478 --> 00:01:22,743
No. I gotta... I gotta...
20
00:01:24,215 --> 00:01:26,184
- Should we get that?
- What?
21
00:01:27,719 --> 00:01:29,051
The phone.
22
00:01:29,454 --> 00:01:31,548
No. Let the machine get it.
23
00:01:33,524 --> 00:01:35,220
Hey, bro. It's Jeff.
24
00:01:35,293 --> 00:01:37,293
Listen, I decided to take you up
on your invitation
25
00:01:37,362 --> 00:01:39,831
to have dinner and watch the fight.
26
00:01:39,897 --> 00:01:41,263
Although I may be a little late
27
00:01:41,332 --> 00:01:44,496
because I have an appointment
with my podiatrist.
28
00:01:45,503 --> 00:01:49,031
Tim, I've got a fungus infection
between my toes
29
00:01:49,107 --> 00:01:51,576
that would just turn your stomach.
30
00:01:51,642 --> 00:01:53,581
Just ignore him.
He does that to get a rise out of me.
31
00:01:53,611 --> 00:01:55,443
- He won't.
- It's unbelievable, Timmy!
32
00:01:55,513 --> 00:01:58,813
There's this yellow stuff oozing out
of my toenails.
33
00:02:00,418 --> 00:02:03,479
Actually, it's more of a light green
or a tea
34
00:02:04,989 --> 00:02:06,890
Hard to describe on the phone, Tim.
35
00:02:06,958 --> 00:02:09,894
I'll show you tonight over dinner,
okay? See ya.
36
00:02:11,062 --> 00:02:13,531
That just put a lock on my window.
37
00:02:14,399 --> 00:02:17,301
Hey, but Daddy's got the master key!
38
00:03:10,321 --> 00:03:11,880
Okay, I know this.
39
00:03:11,989 --> 00:03:16,757
The cerebrum is responsible for
sensory and neural function,
40
00:03:16,861 --> 00:03:19,126
motor coordination...
41
00:03:19,197 --> 00:03:20,961
And one more thing.
42
00:03:24,569 --> 00:03:26,094
Memory! Damn!
43
00:03:31,175 --> 00:03:32,837
- Hi, honey.
- Hi.
44
00:03:33,711 --> 00:03:35,202
What are you doing home so early?
45
00:03:35,279 --> 00:03:37,976
Three words. Rag, oil, match.
46
00:03:43,488 --> 00:03:45,855
Well, the boys are still at school.
47
00:03:45,957 --> 00:03:48,620
How's that window situation
holding up?
48
00:03:49,527 --> 00:03:51,689
Oh, the window.
49
00:03:52,363 --> 00:03:56,130
Actually, I'm wide open until after 2:00.
50
00:03:56,234 --> 00:03:59,204
And then again between 3:00 and 3:30.
51
00:04:01,639 --> 00:04:04,108
Two windows in the same afternoon?
52
00:04:06,143 --> 00:04:08,703
There's bound to be
some broken glass.
53
00:04:09,947 --> 00:04:11,848
I'm willing to risk it.
54
00:04:16,687 --> 00:04:19,623
- Should we get that?
- Let the machine get it.
55
00:04:22,293 --> 00:04:24,524
Jill, honey, it's me, Carrie!
56
00:04:25,329 --> 00:04:29,232
- Oh, my God! That's my sister Carrie!
- Let the machine get it.
57
00:04:30,701 --> 00:04:32,260
Surprise!
58
00:04:32,370 --> 00:04:33,736
Hi, Carrie.
59
00:04:35,406 --> 00:04:36,897
What ya doing?
60
00:04:39,010 --> 00:04:41,172
I was looking for a quarter.
61
00:04:42,246 --> 00:04:44,545
I guess I came
at a good time then, huh?
62
00:04:44,615 --> 00:04:45,720
God! What are you doing here?
63
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:47,412
You never said
you were coming to Detroit.
64
00:04:47,485 --> 00:04:49,954
- Oh, I got a last-minute job.
- Well, what are you gonna do?
65
00:04:50,021 --> 00:04:51,887
I'm photographing a magazine cover.
66
00:04:51,956 --> 00:04:54,653
I just thought I'd stop by
on my way to the hotel.
67
00:04:54,725 --> 00:04:57,752
- You are not staying at a hotel.
- Honey,
68
00:04:57,828 --> 00:04:59,592
she's a grown woman.
69
00:05:00,498 --> 00:05:03,832
If she wants to stay in a hotel,
who are we to stop her, huh?
70
00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:07,167
She is not staying at a hotel.
You can stay in Randy's room.
71
00:05:07,238 --> 00:05:10,111
But when you stay down there, you
gotta go all the way up to the bathroom
72
00:05:10,141 --> 00:05:13,080
and then you gotta jiggle the handle
of the toilet because it kind of runs.
73
00:05:13,110 --> 00:05:14,582
So, I should have Brad stay down
in Randy's room
74
00:05:14,612 --> 00:05:15,816
and you can stay up there in his room.
75
00:05:15,846 --> 00:05:16,905
- Great.
- Okay.
76
00:05:16,981 --> 00:05:18,472
Tim, is that okay?
77
00:05:18,549 --> 00:05:22,418
I have no idea what she just said.
But that's okay.
78
00:05:24,088 --> 00:05:26,250
Boy, I wish I could find a guy like him!
79
00:05:26,324 --> 00:05:27,324
Yeah.
80
00:05:27,391 --> 00:05:30,725
Well, Carrie, when they made me,
they broke the mold.
81
00:05:31,963 --> 00:05:34,125
I believe you broke the mold.
82
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:41,397
The skin between every single one of
my toes is cracked, splitting and raw.
83
00:05:43,608 --> 00:05:45,975
Could you pass the creamed corn?
84
00:05:47,712 --> 00:05:48,839
There you go.
85
00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:51,940
I'll tell you, this fungus is painful.
86
00:05:52,016 --> 00:05:53,780
Not as painful as hearing about it.
87
00:05:53,851 --> 00:05:55,820
You know what's the worst?
Plantar's warts.
88
00:05:55,886 --> 00:05:59,345
You have to scrape that skin off
the inside of your toe...
89
00:05:59,423 --> 00:06:01,790
Okay, that's it. Dinner's over.
Time for the fight.
90
00:06:01,892 --> 00:06:03,326
- Yeah.
- What?
91
00:06:04,462 --> 00:06:05,555
Carrie, you're home early.
92
00:06:05,630 --> 00:06:09,192
Yeah. Am I glad that job's over!
My feet are killing me.
93
00:06:10,368 --> 00:06:12,132
Please, no more feet.
94
00:06:12,837 --> 00:06:14,328
Is Jeff here?
95
00:06:15,139 --> 00:06:16,163
- Hi, Jeff.
- Hi, Carrie.
96
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,209
Oh, it's great to see you again.
97
00:06:18,275 --> 00:06:19,647
Great seeing you, too. You look terrific.
98
00:06:19,677 --> 00:06:20,940
Thanks. So do you.
99
00:06:21,012 --> 00:06:22,583
And thanks for sending me
those photographs
100
00:06:22,613 --> 00:06:24,081
from Tim's Fourth of July party.
101
00:06:24,148 --> 00:06:26,174
- Oh, we had a great time together.
- Oh, yeah.
102
00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:28,742
Until Tim almost shot
that bottle rocket up your...
103
00:06:28,819 --> 00:06:30,720
- Heineken anyone?
- Yeah.
104
00:06:31,989 --> 00:06:34,428
Nothing like a cold beer before a fight.
Come on. Let's sit down.
105
00:06:34,458 --> 00:06:37,826
- Oh, I love boxing! Who's fighting?
- Ironhead Johnson.
106
00:06:37,895 --> 00:06:39,989
Versus my man! You ready to rumble?
107
00:06:40,064 --> 00:06:45,162
From San Juan, Puerto Rico, Chi Chi
"The Mucho Macho" Hernandez!
108
00:06:46,437 --> 00:06:49,407
I hate boxing. It's bloody. It's vicious.
109
00:06:50,374 --> 00:06:52,809
Sounds like Jeff's last marriage.
110
00:06:53,577 --> 00:06:55,683
Yeah. Since the last time I saw you,
my wife and I split up.
111
00:06:55,713 --> 00:07:00,481
Yeah, Jill told me that she left you and
you're living with your mother again.
112
00:07:01,318 --> 00:07:03,480
Gee! Thanks for the build-up.
113
00:07:04,689 --> 00:07:06,809
I guess it lost a little something
in the translation.
114
00:07:06,857 --> 00:07:07,881
You think?
115
00:07:07,958 --> 00:07:10,894
- I'm really sorry, Jeff.
- Well, you know, these things happen.
116
00:07:10,961 --> 00:07:12,987
So, how long you gonna be
staying here?
117
00:07:13,064 --> 00:07:16,626
Well, my job's over and I really don't
have to be anywhere else for a week.
118
00:07:16,734 --> 00:07:17,997
A week?
119
00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:23,668
Hey, is that all?
120
00:07:26,677 --> 00:07:28,373
Chi Chi!
121
00:07:28,446 --> 00:07:31,507
Man, those body blows
are unbelievable!
122
00:07:31,582 --> 00:07:34,518
Twenty bucks says Chi Chi comes
out of this with a ruptured spleen.
123
00:07:34,585 --> 00:07:36,144
- You're on.
- Okay.
124
00:07:36,220 --> 00:07:39,679
I happen to know he lost his spleen
in the Lopez fight.
125
00:07:40,324 --> 00:07:42,418
That's why he's down a weight class.
126
00:07:42,493 --> 00:07:43,927
I can't stand this anymore.
127
00:07:43,994 --> 00:07:46,361
I'm gonna go upstairs and read.
Good night, guys.
128
00:07:46,464 --> 00:07:49,366
Was that a tooth
that flew out of his mouth?
129
00:07:50,234 --> 00:07:52,499
- Tonsil.
- Oh, man!
130
00:07:53,604 --> 00:07:54,970
Oh, this is great,
131
00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:58,669
I love watching sweaty, muscular guys
test their manhood.
132
00:08:00,745 --> 00:08:03,715
You know, in college I used to fight.
133
00:08:04,515 --> 00:08:05,778
You were a boxer?
134
00:08:05,850 --> 00:08:07,580
Well, I know my way
around the ring, yeah.
135
00:08:07,651 --> 00:08:10,985
They called you what,
"The Humongous Fungus," right?
136
00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:15,588
Get him, Itchy Toe! Hit him, Itchy Toe!
Come on, baby!
137
00:08:17,128 --> 00:08:19,654
Hey, what a fight! What a fight!
138
00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:22,825
Chi Chi must've stopped
87 shots with his head.
139
00:08:24,535 --> 00:08:27,403
- So, he lost again?
- No! No! Won the fight.
140
00:08:27,471 --> 00:08:29,235
It was on a technicality.
But a win is a win.
141
00:08:29,306 --> 00:08:32,606
I guess Ironhead's urine sample
came up a bit dirty.
142
00:08:32,877 --> 00:08:35,142
Please, spare me the details.
Did Jeff leave?
143
00:08:35,212 --> 00:08:37,909
No. He's down there
talking with Carrie.
144
00:08:46,924 --> 00:08:47,948
What are you doing?
145
00:08:48,025 --> 00:08:50,290
Hoping to log on to Windows 98.
146
00:08:52,963 --> 00:08:53,987
We can't be doing that.
147
00:08:54,064 --> 00:08:56,124
My sister's gonna be up here
any minute.
148
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,224
So?
149
00:08:57,301 --> 00:09:00,999
So she'll be right next door.
And she's not a sound sleeper.
150
00:09:01,071 --> 00:09:04,599
- I don't think she'll be up for a while.
- How do you know that?
151
00:09:04,675 --> 00:09:08,203
Because Jeff is talking about shoes,
and feet.
152
00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:12,243
His feet, her feet, our family's feet.
153
00:09:12,950 --> 00:09:15,784
You know, if you took
a little whiff right here...
154
00:09:16,587 --> 00:09:20,080
You might become intoxicated
by the deep aroma of wood.
155
00:09:21,759 --> 00:09:23,694
- You think?
- I think so.
156
00:09:27,798 --> 00:09:30,165
That's Carrie!
You said she wouldn't be up here!
157
00:09:30,234 --> 00:09:32,669
Jeff probably took his socks off.
158
00:09:35,005 --> 00:09:38,134
Well, that's it. We can't do that now.
159
00:09:39,443 --> 00:09:42,880
- Why not?
- It'd be too weird. Yuck!
160
00:09:44,915 --> 00:09:46,850
It doesn't bother me.
161
00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:50,877
Well, you'd be comfortable doing it
with a relative in the room.
162
00:09:52,189 --> 00:09:55,751
If you're not comfortable
in front of family, why bother?
163
00:09:57,528 --> 00:10:01,556
I'm sorry, honey. But there's not
any sex happening here tonight.
164
00:10:08,105 --> 00:10:10,074
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
165
00:10:11,942 --> 00:10:13,171
Oh, no!
166
00:10:31,495 --> 00:10:34,988
I can't believe my sister's
in there with your brother.
167
00:10:38,502 --> 00:10:42,269
I can't believe my brother's feet
are touching those sheets.
168
00:10:44,341 --> 00:10:47,436
We're gonna have to boil those things,
you know.
169
00:10:48,479 --> 00:10:51,108
How could they be involved
with each other?
170
00:10:51,181 --> 00:10:53,343
Maybe they're not involved.
171
00:10:53,417 --> 00:10:56,581
Maybe they just stepped up here
for a quick boink.
172
00:10:59,189 --> 00:11:03,456
This is absolutely unbelievable.
They've been at it for almost an hour!
173
00:11:03,527 --> 00:11:06,656
I had no idea Jeff had
that kind of staying power.
174
00:11:06,730 --> 00:11:09,063
Jeff and Carrie,
of all people in the world?
175
00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:12,661
Well, some women go
for that bald look, you know?
176
00:11:12,736 --> 00:11:16,571
They stare in that shiny head
and they can fix their make-up.
177
00:11:18,075 --> 00:11:20,135
What would my sister
see in your brother?
178
00:11:20,211 --> 00:11:22,237
I just told you. Herself.
179
00:11:24,448 --> 00:11:27,384
No. I don't mean the bald thing.
180
00:11:27,451 --> 00:11:30,512
- You know, Jeff is just... He's so...
- So what?
181
00:11:31,488 --> 00:11:33,957
- Well, he can't keep a job... He can't...
- Oh, stop it...
182
00:11:34,024 --> 00:11:37,119
He's been divorced twice.
He's, you know, kind of uncouth.
183
00:11:37,194 --> 00:11:39,254
My brother reeks of couth.
184
00:11:41,298 --> 00:11:43,267
And what makes you think
Carrie's such a catch?
185
00:11:43,334 --> 00:11:45,269
Carrie? She's a great catch.
186
00:11:45,336 --> 00:11:48,075
She's an accomplished photographer.
She's cute. She's warm. She's funny.
187
00:11:48,105 --> 00:11:49,937
- She's a mooch.
- What?
188
00:11:51,809 --> 00:11:54,278
How does she always end up
staying here?
189
00:11:54,345 --> 00:11:57,372
She's always on her way to this
imaginary hotel of hers.
190
00:11:57,448 --> 00:11:59,576
The "Holiday Inn Her Mind."
191
00:12:02,052 --> 00:12:03,190
Oh, I don't want to argue about this.
192
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:05,655
Look, Jeff is just the wrong guy
for my sister, okay?
193
00:12:05,723 --> 00:12:07,728
What you mean is
he's not good enough for your sister.
194
00:12:07,758 --> 00:12:10,387
- I never said that.
- But that's what you mean.
195
00:12:10,461 --> 00:12:12,020
Don't tell me what I mean.
196
00:12:12,129 --> 00:12:14,401
I don't need to tell you what you mean,
you know what you mean.
197
00:12:14,431 --> 00:12:16,764
I do know what I mean.
And it's not what you think I mean.
198
00:12:16,834 --> 00:12:18,505
And who are you to tell me
what I mean, anyway?
199
00:12:18,535 --> 00:12:21,630
Half the time you don't even know
what you mean!
200
00:12:22,172 --> 00:12:25,006
- What's that supposed to mean?
- What do you think it means?
201
00:12:25,075 --> 00:12:27,147
I don't know. I'm not even sure
what the original topic is.
202
00:12:27,177 --> 00:12:30,079
- My sister. Your brother.
- What? Yes!
203
00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:35,018
You think your family's
better than my family.
204
00:12:35,085 --> 00:12:37,213
That is so untrue. I love your mother.
205
00:12:37,287 --> 00:12:39,126
I'm not talking about my mother.
How about my brothers?
206
00:12:39,156 --> 00:12:40,522
Your brothers are fine.
207
00:12:40,591 --> 00:12:43,686
Not as fine as your couthy,
intelligent sisters.
208
00:12:43,761 --> 00:12:46,663
- What's that supposed to mean?
- You think my brother's a lowbrow.
209
00:12:46,730 --> 00:12:48,665
- I never said that.
- That's what you mean.
210
00:12:48,732 --> 00:12:52,294
- You have no idea what I mean.
- Let's not go there again.
211
00:12:53,470 --> 00:12:56,176
You look down on my brothers because
you think they're unsophisticated.
212
00:12:56,206 --> 00:12:58,641
And when you look down on them,
you look down on me.
213
00:12:58,709 --> 00:13:00,214
I do not. You are being so ridiculous.
214
00:13:00,244 --> 00:13:01,782
I'm just not even gonna
talk to you anymore.
215
00:13:01,812 --> 00:13:04,338
Oh, that'll last about five minutes.
216
00:13:04,948 --> 00:13:07,354
If I had a nickel for every time you
talked to me after you said
217
00:13:07,384 --> 00:13:09,490
you weren't gonna talk to me again,
I'd be a millionaire.
218
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,955
- Oh, please!
- There's a dime right there.
219
00:13:14,758 --> 00:13:16,989
Oh, look who came up for air!
220
00:13:19,163 --> 00:13:22,531
Hi, Carrie and I were just upstairs.
She was showing me her...
221
00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:23,704
- Photographs.
- Photographs.
222
00:13:23,734 --> 00:13:26,636
- That's what you're calling them now?
- Yeah.
223
00:13:28,138 --> 00:13:30,835
Jeff's just gonna take me out
to grab a bite to eat.
224
00:13:30,908 --> 00:13:32,137
See ya.
225
00:13:33,877 --> 00:13:36,506
Well, looks like another Patterson
woman lowered herself
226
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:38,742
to the level of a Taylor man.
227
00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:41,651
You are such a jackass.
228
00:13:42,286 --> 00:13:43,286
Let's see...
229
00:13:45,923 --> 00:13:47,892
Jackass one or two words?
230
00:13:51,695 --> 00:13:53,061
Welcome back to
"Woodworking Week"
231
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:56,066
and our special segment
on dents, defects and gouges.
232
00:13:56,133 --> 00:13:59,297
Now, we've just showed you
how to inlay knots to cover blemishes.
233
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:03,966
Since we're done working on Al's face,
we can now start on this nice table.
234
00:14:04,575 --> 00:14:07,135
Okay, say you have a lacquered
or varnished table...
235
00:14:07,244 --> 00:14:10,009
You have a lacquered
or varnished table.
236
00:14:10,948 --> 00:14:13,611
With a small dent in it. Doink!
237
00:14:13,684 --> 00:14:14,982
Not to worry.
238
00:14:15,052 --> 00:14:18,420
No need to sand off the finish to
restore this table to its natural beauty.
239
00:14:18,489 --> 00:14:22,654
No, no, no. We're gonna show you
a process that we call "doping in."
240
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,191
Doping in can be done
in one of two ways.
241
00:14:25,262 --> 00:14:27,595
You can stick Tim into the dent.
242
00:14:32,002 --> 00:14:35,837
Or you can apply a small drop
of the same finish into the dent
243
00:14:35,906 --> 00:14:38,273
- with a toothpick or a small brush.
- That's right.
244
00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:41,641
And once it dries, just repeat
the process until your dent is filled.
245
00:14:41,712 --> 00:14:45,945
- Now, moving on to a larger project...
- We've got Al's mom's TV tray.
246
00:14:50,687 --> 00:14:52,246
Still moving on.
247
00:14:53,023 --> 00:14:54,389
Now, take a look here.
248
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:58,020
If you have a prominent crack,
perhaps it's spreading...
249
00:15:01,999 --> 00:15:03,763
Moving on again.
250
00:15:04,368 --> 00:15:06,208
You can keep this crack
from getting any bigger
251
00:15:06,270 --> 00:15:08,762
by installing a decorative butterfly key.
252
00:15:08,839 --> 00:15:11,673
Like one of these ones
I carved earlier today.
253
00:15:11,742 --> 00:15:14,268
- Well, Tim, that's made of ash.
- I know.
254
00:15:14,344 --> 00:15:16,506
Well, our table is made of
bird's-eye maple.
255
00:15:16,613 --> 00:15:19,276
- They're from two different families.
- So what?
256
00:15:19,349 --> 00:15:22,046
Well, ash is a coarse grain
and maple's a fine grain.
257
00:15:22,119 --> 00:15:24,679
They just... They don't go together.
258
00:15:25,823 --> 00:15:28,349
Are you saying your wood
is better than my wood?
259
00:15:28,425 --> 00:15:29,586
No.
260
00:15:29,693 --> 00:15:31,924
Your wood is classier
and more intelligent than my wood?
261
00:15:31,995 --> 00:15:33,361
What are you talking about?
262
00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:37,333
I'm talking about people
that look down on other people's wood.
263
00:15:38,802 --> 00:15:41,499
Maybe your maple
could just kiss my ash.
264
00:15:45,175 --> 00:15:46,268
Okay.
265
00:15:47,044 --> 00:15:48,882
What I would use for
a decorative butterfly would be...
266
00:15:48,912 --> 00:15:50,317
I'm not finished yet.
I'm not finished yet.
267
00:15:50,347 --> 00:15:53,408
You know, just because a wood is
coarse and unfinished
268
00:15:53,483 --> 00:15:55,918
doesn't make it inferior.
269
00:15:55,986 --> 00:15:59,150
You know, I believe this country was
founded on the principle
270
00:15:59,256 --> 00:16:03,284
that all wood has the inalienable right
to become a nice cabinet!
271
00:16:13,236 --> 00:16:14,474
What exactly is your point, Tim?
272
00:16:14,504 --> 00:16:20,466
I mean that all wood is created equal,
regardless of color, creed or burl.
273
00:16:22,045 --> 00:16:24,480
And fourscore and seven tables ago...
274
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,449
We'll be right back to
"Woodworking Week"
275
00:16:26,516 --> 00:16:28,644
after we medicate our host.
276
00:16:41,298 --> 00:16:43,665
- Hey, Wilson.
- Hi-ho, Jill.
277
00:16:43,734 --> 00:16:47,171
- What are you doing?
- I am celebrating Yabusame.
278
00:16:47,237 --> 00:16:50,264
You know, at Yabusame time in Japan,
members of the Shinto religion
279
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:55,108
shoot arrows to expel evil influences
and resolve long-standing quarrels.
280
00:16:58,081 --> 00:17:02,519
Well, if you have any extra arrows,
you ought to send one over here.
281
00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:04,487
Problem, neighbor-san?
282
00:17:05,889 --> 00:17:09,826
My sister Carrie started seeing
Tim's brother Jeff.
283
00:17:09,893 --> 00:17:11,862
We won't go into the how, when
and where of that.
284
00:17:11,962 --> 00:17:16,332
But I didn't think it was a good match.
Tim got all sensitive about it,
285
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:20,337
accused me of looking down
on his family.
286
00:17:20,404 --> 00:17:21,633
Well, why did he do that?
287
00:17:21,705 --> 00:17:22,968
I have no idea.
288
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,737
I have always been the one
who defended his family.
289
00:17:25,809 --> 00:17:27,573
- To whom?
- My family.
290
00:17:29,212 --> 00:17:30,874
Well, you know, my dad.
291
00:17:30,948 --> 00:17:34,976
- Oh, yes! The Colonel!
- He was a very opinionated man.
292
00:17:35,052 --> 00:17:37,412
- Judged everybody according to rank.
- Oh, I remember that.
293
00:17:37,454 --> 00:17:40,083
Used to call Tim
"Corporal Punishment."
294
00:17:41,258 --> 00:17:44,820
Well, then he promoted him to
"Major Butt-head."
295
00:17:44,895 --> 00:17:47,267
I never wanted to be like my dad.
You know, look down on people.
296
00:17:47,297 --> 00:17:49,469
That's why I've always been
very accepting of Tim's brothers.
297
00:17:49,499 --> 00:17:51,934
Accepting of Tim's brothers?
298
00:17:52,002 --> 00:17:55,370
If you're trying to imply that Tim's right,
you are way, way off base.
299
00:17:55,472 --> 00:17:59,739
If I was that judgmental, I never would
have married someone like Tim.
300
00:18:02,813 --> 00:18:06,545
"Someone like Tim." Oh, my God!
Listen to me.
301
00:18:07,884 --> 00:18:10,376
I've become my father
without the scowl.
302
00:18:10,454 --> 00:18:13,356
Jill, everybody picks up
certain negative characteristics
303
00:18:13,423 --> 00:18:14,447
from their parents.
304
00:18:14,524 --> 00:18:17,030
Yeah, well, I knew I picked up negative
characteristics from my mother.
305
00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:18,532
I didn't know I'd gotten them
from my father, too.
306
00:18:18,562 --> 00:18:19,866
- That hardly seems fair.
- Right there.
307
00:18:19,896 --> 00:18:23,025
See, now, by identifying them, you
make the first step to overcoming them.
308
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,571
You know, it took me years of
hard work to get rid of
309
00:18:24,601 --> 00:18:25,721
my father's annoying traits.
310
00:18:25,769 --> 00:18:28,295
- Really? What was he like?
- Odd man.
311
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:31,731
Kept to himself.
312
00:18:31,808 --> 00:18:34,778
Never really let people see
the whole person.
313
00:18:41,318 --> 00:18:43,412
- You look great.
- Thanks.
314
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,048
Jeff's taking me to Sorrentino's
for dinner.
315
00:18:46,123 --> 00:18:47,250
Whoa!
316
00:18:48,358 --> 00:18:51,590
So, you two really seem to be
hitting it off, huh?
317
00:18:52,496 --> 00:18:53,862
Well, yeah.
318
00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:57,367
We had a great time together
yesterday, although...
319
00:18:59,169 --> 00:19:00,694
Although what?
320
00:19:01,671 --> 00:19:03,640
Well, Jeff's a nice guy.
321
00:19:04,307 --> 00:19:06,469
But he's had all those
business failures.
322
00:19:06,576 --> 00:19:08,545
He never even finished college.
323
00:19:08,645 --> 00:19:11,012
He's obsessed with his feet.
324
00:19:13,350 --> 00:19:15,285
- What do you think of him?
- Jeff?
325
00:19:15,352 --> 00:19:16,718
Yeah.
326
00:19:16,787 --> 00:19:20,417
I think he's a sweet and decent guy.
327
00:19:21,491 --> 00:19:22,857
That's what I thought.
328
00:19:22,959 --> 00:19:24,998
And then last night
when he dropped me off, you know,
329
00:19:25,028 --> 00:19:27,122
I just started picking him apart.
330
00:19:27,197 --> 00:19:30,656
That critical voice you're hearing,
you know where you get that?
331
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:32,362
It's from Daddy.
332
00:19:32,803 --> 00:19:34,032
What do you mean?
333
00:19:34,104 --> 00:19:37,734
You remember how he used to put
everybody under the microscope?
334
00:19:37,807 --> 00:19:41,266
If you examine anybody that closely,
you're gonna find flaws.
335
00:19:41,344 --> 00:19:44,109
Maybe you should give Jeff a chance.
336
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,182
I think you're right.
337
00:19:46,249 --> 00:19:49,515
Especially since you're
already sleeping with him.
338
00:19:50,487 --> 00:19:53,321
- We did not sleep together!
- Oh, really?
339
00:19:53,390 --> 00:19:55,723
No! Well, we started kissing.
340
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:59,126
And then I remembered
my sister was right next door.
341
00:20:01,965 --> 00:20:03,337
Of course, Jeff could've cared less.
342
00:20:03,367 --> 00:20:05,734
He would've been fine
with the door open.
343
00:20:05,836 --> 00:20:07,998
Tim would do it on Tool Time.
344
00:20:12,642 --> 00:20:15,373
Now, listen! Listen!
Ignore that critical voice.
345
00:20:15,445 --> 00:20:16,811
- Okay.
- Okay.
346
00:20:18,648 --> 00:20:23,018
- He's been divorced twice.
- I met both of them. He's better off.
347
00:20:23,353 --> 00:20:25,584
- Go! Go, go, go!
- Okay. Coming!
348
00:20:28,491 --> 00:20:31,120
- Hi, Jeff.
- How're you doing?
349
00:20:31,194 --> 00:20:32,218
Hey, good news.
350
00:20:32,295 --> 00:20:35,015
After our romantic dinner, we're going
to "Fight Night" at Cobo Hall.
351
00:20:35,065 --> 00:20:38,092
- Well, that's fantastic.
- Yeah. And I got you this.
352
00:20:38,168 --> 00:20:41,730
- Oh, you're so sweet.
- Yes, I am.
353
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:43,740
Guys, have a good time.
354
00:20:47,043 --> 00:20:50,013
I saw Jeff's car.
Where's he taking Carrie?
355
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,571
Dinner and a fight.
356
00:20:54,284 --> 00:20:56,947
Sounds like Friday night at our house.
357
00:20:58,121 --> 00:20:59,487
Okay, okay.
358
00:21:00,757 --> 00:21:04,922
I was wrong to be so judgmental of Jeff.
359
00:21:04,995 --> 00:21:06,657
Wow! You were judgmental?
360
00:21:08,231 --> 00:21:11,599
It was that Patterson family gene
just seeping through.
361
00:21:11,668 --> 00:21:15,730
I mean, you guys may be a little
rough around the edges, but, hey...
362
00:21:15,805 --> 00:21:17,569
What's the surprise? You're men.
363
00:21:19,476 --> 00:21:23,538
And for men, you're very open,
accepting and caring people.
364
00:21:23,914 --> 00:21:26,474
Plus we're really good at Skee-Ball.
365
00:21:27,784 --> 00:21:32,916
I think that if Jeff happens to fall in love
with Carrie, she'd be lucky to have him.
366
00:21:34,691 --> 00:21:36,182
- Yeah?
- Uh-huh.
367
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,786
Where are the boys?
368
00:21:38,862 --> 00:21:40,387
At the movies.
369
00:21:45,569 --> 00:21:48,505
How would you like to
crack open that window?
370
00:21:52,242 --> 00:21:53,540
Hey, Wilson?
371
00:21:53,610 --> 00:21:56,705
Hidey-holy henna!
What happened to your head?
372
00:21:56,780 --> 00:21:58,806
I just saw Al's mom naked.
373
00:22:00,183 --> 00:22:02,243
- Look, Tim, that's made of ash.
- I know that.
374
00:22:02,319 --> 00:22:06,256
And this table is made of
bird's-eye marble. They're... Marble?
375
00:22:08,825 --> 00:22:09,825
Yes!
375
00:22:10,305 --> 00:22:16,476
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.SubtitleDB.org
30559
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.