All language subtitles for Home Improvement -Season 8- E17

Does everybody know
what time it is?

Tool Time!
Tool Time!

That's right! Binford
Tools is proud to present

Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!

Whoa, whoa!

Welcome to our
Tool Time salute...

to the last manly sport.

- Rodeo.
- Rodeo.

I mean, what's more manly than eating
your steak after you finish riding it?

That's right. These cowboys
are a dying breed.

Rugged individuals who pay no
mind to their overbearing mothers

that won't let them
live their own life.

Maybe it's out on
the range, maybe not,

but let them live
their own lives!

Al.

Well, moseying right along...

"Moseying along"?

Yes. Auburn Hills,
Michigan is hosting

the Longhorn World
Championship Rodeo this week.

All right. We called the
little practice arena today.

And we've got a championship roper
today to show you some little tricks.

Heidi, bring him on out.

Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today

Where's the rest of you?

They were gonna send us
a real cowboy, weren't they?

I am a real cowboy, sir.

My name is Ty Cisco. And I'm a
junior champion team roper.

Well, it's nice
to meet you, champ.

It's great to be here, sir.

You know, when I was your age,
I could've been a cowboy.

Golly gee!

Riding the rodeo circuit.
That must be an exciting life.

Yeah, it's pretty neat.

But I also like school and messing
around with my hunting dog, Wiley.

"My hunting dog, Wiley."

Look, Billy Bob, you got me
in a bind here, you know?

I promised the audience
some rodeo action.

Can you do anything with that
little jump rope of yours?

Yeah. I can show
you a trick or two.

Okay, then.

Yippi-ti-yi-yo! Klaus?

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

Let's have a big hand
for The Cisco Kid.

I'll tell you,
that's not bad for a kid.

You know, I'm pretty
good at roping myself.

Folks, I apologize in advance.

Klaus?

This new French restaurant
opening up in Royal Oak.

Maybe your father and I should
go there for our anniversary.

How come you're not gonna
go to your favorite place?

The one where that waiter
always insults him.

Brad, it's our anniversary. I'm getting
a new waiter to insult your dad.

Never stop giving.

No.

Plus, I hate that guy at Sorrentino's.
Antonio. He's really rude.

And he sounds like Dracula.
"Good evening."

Check this out. I guess
they got this new program

where they put cameras
at intersections

and try to catch drivers
who run red lights.

Whoa, cool angles! They can get
the license plate from the back

and the driver from the front.

Let me see that.

Gosh!

Nobody's gonna be able to pick
their nose in the car anymore.

I think this is outrageous.

I mean, it's a blatant
invasion of privacy.

It's another example
of Big Brother taking control

and infiltrating
every aspect of our lives.

You just don't
want to get a ticket.

Fricking right!

Hey, Brad! Good news.

- Yeah?
- I got a lead on where

we can take your
Mustang to repair it.

Really?

I'm surprised you have
time for mechanics

considering what's coming
up a week from Friday.

I know what a week
from Friday is.

It's our anniversary!

Our anniversary's
a week from Thursday.

What's a week from Friday?

Nothing.

- She's good.
- She's good.

Hey, buddy.
How's it hanging?

I hope you're referring
to my work light.

I am sorry.
I thought you were a guy.

If I am, I have a lot
of unnecessary cramps.

Yeah. I read about this
place in Mustang Monthly,

and I'm looking for Alex,
the Saleen Mustang specialist.

I'm Alex,
the Saleen Mustang specialist.

So, you'd be working
on my kid's car?

Look, how I fix cars has nothing to do with
the kind of underwear I wear, does it?

No! Of course not!

Wouldn't matter if you
didn't wear any underwear.

It's a beautiful Shelby.

Yup, '66 GT 350H.

They only made 1,500 of these.

Actually, a thousand.

Nine hundred automatics
and 100 four-speeds.

Quarter-mile time?

15-point-two seconds
at 92 miles per hour.

Pretty sweet deal considering the
original purchase price was...

Thirty-five forty-seven.

Are you done testing me?

Almost.

Who was the last actor
to join The Three Stooges?

Curly-Joe DeRita,
but he's no Shemp.

Hey! Tim Taylor.

I know.
Nice to meet you.

You want to take a look
at the Mustang then?

Yeah. I was just about to
clock out, so let me wash up,

- and I'll take a look at it for you.
- All right.

But, hey, I gotta tell ya,
I'm a huge Tool Time fan.

Really?

Yeah, man. I just
really love the show.

What's your favorite episode?

Definitely the one where you
fell through that port-a-potty.

Yeah, the ladies go nuts
over that one, you know?

It's the first time I did
my own stunt, you know?

Anything for the audience.

Did that stink in there!

How long have you
been a mechanic?

Since I was two and I
souped up my own stroller.

Okay. Ready.

Wow! Wow!

I mean, imagine that!
You know? Souping up your own stroller!

Nice save.

Let's go take a look at the car.

Okay.

Now, eventually, Brad and I are gonna
do some performance modifications,

but right now I've got some
problems with the transmission.

Like what?

Well, there's this grinding
noise coming out of it,

and I thought it
was the shift fork.

Turns out that's not what it is.

Maybe it's the syncros.

Yeah.

How do you know
so much about cars?

You grow up with four brothers,

you pick up all
kinds of guy stuff.

- Four brothers? I have four brothers.
- No way!

Yeah!

Yeah, mine taught me
how to burp the alphabet.

A woman of letters!

Yeah, they taught me all about
cars and tools. It was great.

One summer they even got
me a job as an arc welder.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! A woman arc welder?
Don't toy with me.

Tim, you're veering
off the road.

Sorry.

Hey, why don't you downshift, so I can
hear that noise you're talking about?

Okay. That should be...
There you go. Listen.

Yeah, it's the syncros.

I have the same problem
with my Fairlane Thunderbolt.

A Fairlane Thunderbolt
with the big 427?

Yeah. And the glass
hood scoop.

I gotta take a look at this car.

Tim, red light!

That's a reflex
from having three kids.

I'm not a kid.

I'm well aware of that.

Hey, Marty.

Hey, Jill.

Look. I want you to see what I got
Tim for our anniversary present.

Wow! An old Hamilton.

Yeah. You know, he's always talking
about the one that your dad wore.

Yeah.

Mom gave it to Jeff,
and he broke it.

Then he gave it to me,
and I broke it.

Then Tim wanted it,

and Mom confiscated it
before he could come near it.

Smart lady.

All right, guys.
I'm late. I gotta go.

I'm gonna go to Jason's and study.
Mom, can I take the Nomad?

Yeah, yeah. Sure.
Look, look.

This is what I got Dad
for our anniversary present.

You stole Grandma's watch?

Yes, Brad, I did. I mugged her
outside the Social Security office.

I've got some great news on the Mustang.
I'll tell you about it later on, all right?

All right.

So, honey, what do
you want for dinner?

I'm not gonna eat. I'm just gonna change
clothes and go check on Brad's car.

He's working on the car again?

Yeah.

He's been working with that
mechanic every night this week.

Wow!

He's usually so critical
of his car guys.

Alex has gotta
be a hot mechanic.

Yeah, yeah.
He loves this one.

I wouldn't be surprised if he
spent the night at the garage.

- Happy anniversary!
- Happy anniversary!

They are so beautiful.
You guys...

Wait, what do you want?

Simply that you keep that in
mind the next time we screw up.

- Okay.
- All right.

Thank you.
You're so sweet.

Hello? Hi, honey.

Wait a minute, where are you?

Well, how much longer?

I can't believe you had to go to
the mechanic's on our anniversary.

No, I don't want
to meet you there.

Then we gotta have two cars. And
we gotta drive home alone...

Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

I'll call the restaurant, and
I'll move back the reservation.

Yes. Shoot!
Yeah, okay. Bye.

- Would you put this... Hang this up?
- Yeah.

I got water all
over the mail. Man!

What is this?

This is from the Royal
Oak Police Department.

It's a ticket.
Brad!

Mom, I didn't get a ticket.

And in case I did,
I got flower credit.

Wait a minute. I think
this is your dad's ticket.

Hello!

Great restaurant.
Sorry I'm late.

Happy anniversary.

Is it?

Look, I know you're upset.

But I get so distracted when
I'm working under a hood.

Come on! I lose track of time
when I'm working with my hands.

Tim, who were you with tonight?

Who I've been with all this
week. Alex, my mechanic.

Then who is that?

Alex, my mechanic.

What is this?

It's a ticket that you got while
joy-riding with your quote "mechanic."

This is ridiculous.

It was a slow yellow.

The brakes are bad. How can
I get a ticket for this?

Will you forget
about the ticket?

Who is the woman? And why
is your hand on her breast?

This is my mechanic, Alex. My hand is
not on her breast. It's guarding it.

What?

And may I say what a
fine job it's doing.

Antonio?

Good evening.

What are you doing
at this restaurant?

My previous employer grew weary
of defending me in the lawsuits.

Can I get you
something to drink?

Yes, you can.

A very good bottle of champagne.

We're celebrating
our anniversary.

Champagne on an anniversary.

How original!

Okay, okay, okay.
Why didn't you tell me

that you hired a beautiful, sexy
woman to work on Brad's car?

Every time I try to tell you about
one of my mechanics, you cut me off,

so I didn't bother with the details.
So what?

When they're younger, bigger
details, I'd like to know.

I didn't even know she was a woman
until she took off her clothes.

She took her overalls off to
slip into something comfortable.

Look, to me,
Alex is just a mechanic.

There's nothing
going on between you?

There's nothing
going on between us.

Come on! You know I like
cars more than I like women.

Just... I wanted this night to be special.
It's ruined.

- It's not ruined.
- Yes, it is.

We'll get another waiter.

We got French food coming,
some champagne.

Come on. I opened... I got you
something nice. Open that up.

- You did?
- Yes!

Oh, my God!

We look like we're on our way
to rob a convenience store.

We were on our way to the
Doobie Brothers that night.

I know. That was
such a great night.

Happy anniversary, honey.

Happy anniversary.

I got you something.
Here.

Did you steal
this from my mother?

No! I found one
just like your dad's.

- No way!
- Yeah.

Unbelievable.

Hello? Hi, Alex.

You found a Flowmaster at half price?
You are amazing.

No, it's just funny. You know that
yellow light we slipped through?

I got one of those ticket pictures.
You look great.

I mean, the angle
on me's kind of bad.

Huh?

I can't hear. Hold on.

You're fading out there.
What? Hold on.

Got ya. Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Throttle body.
That's a great idea.

Tomorrow. Okay?

Right.

Okay, bye.

What a pity champagne costs the
same for one as it does for two.

Happy anniversary.

Why did you leave
the restaurant like that?

I'm surprised you noticed. You were so
busy talking to your new friend, Alex.

She found an auto part we were looking for.
She was excited.

She didn't know it
was our anniversary.

I'm sure she didn't.

I'm sure it wasn't important
enough for you to mention.

For your information, I didn't tell
anybody it was our anniversary

regardless of race, creed
or sexual orientation.

So, you're an equal
opportunity idiot.

Well, that's a great way to celebrate
our anniversary, calling me an idiot.

You earned it! You could've told
her that it was your anniversary!

That you were with your wife, and
you could call her back tomorrow!

That's exactly what I did say, right
after you bolted out of the restaurant.

You should've seen
yourself talking to her.

You were drooling
like a school boy.

She got me a Flowmaster
at half price.

Excuse me.

While you were spending every
waking moment with this woman,

I went to 12 different antique
stores trying to find a watch

to honor the memory
of your father,

and you didn't look at me
once like that tonight!

Thanks a lot, Tim!
Happy anniversary!

Wilson, what are you doing?
Planting snow peas?

No, no, no, no, no, Tim. Did
you realize that in Thailand

they sprinkle lemon grass on their
lawn to ward off a raging storm?

What do they sprinkle on the
lawn to ward off a raging wife?

Jewelry.

Jill's having a problem
with my new mechanic, Alex.

I thought you were
crazy about his work.

Well, he's actually a she.

Well, that's funny.

You never told me
your mechanic was a woman.

I didn't tell Jill either.

When she found out that I
spend so much time with Alex,

she got really upset.

Why didn't you tell Jill
that Alex was a woman?

It never occurred to me.

Uh-huh.

And why did you spend every
night with her this week?

To work on Brad's car.

Ah.

And it took you that long to fix
the problem in the gearbox?

No, that took about an hour and
a half, but we did other stuff.

- What other stuff?
- You know, am I on trial here?

Well, I'm very sorry, Tim. I'm just
asking if your mechanic was a man,

would you have spent all that
time over at the garage?

What does that have
to do with anything?

Well, maybe you withheld information
from Jill because actually

you are attracted to Alex.

No, no, no.

No.

Maybe.

Who hasn't fantasized
about dating an arc welder?

I am attracted to her.

It's horrible.

No, it's not horrible as
long as you don't act on it.

Yeah, it is.

Well, I would never act on it.

You want to be sure not to
put yourself in a situation

where you could be tempted.

You know, I'm the kind of guy that
doesn't like playing with fire

unless it's on Tool Time.

And we've all seen
what happens there.

Alex!

I'll be out in a minute, Tim.

The car looks great.

Hey, what's going on?

Nothing. I just... I think I'm
gonna stop working on the car.

But we haven't
finished the rear end.

I think we've looked
at enough rear ends.

Well, you're still gonna come by and
show me your hot rod, aren't you?

I don't think so.

I don't understand. I mean,
did I do something wrong?

No. No. Not at all.
You've done everything right.

And you were the right
mechanic for the job.

But sometimes two rights
would make a wrong.

You're a very
good mechanic, Alex.

And you're also very attractive.

And I am a very married guy. And I don't want
to, you know, violate that trust anymore.

Tim...
Let me finish.

And I know there's probably
some attraction to me

because I'm a local celebrity
and a TV star, you know, and...

- Hey!
- Hey, Greg.

Oftentimes,
women your age find...

Tim, I'd like you to meet
my boyfriend, Greg.

Hi.

Were you guys in
the middle of something?

No, I am...
I am so finished.

Listen, Greg, I'll meet you in the car.
I'll be there in a minute.

Okay, nice meeting you, sir.

You too, son.

I'm an idiot!

- You're not an idiot.
- Yes. I'm an idiot.

No.

You're just a man.

A really attractive man.

Nah.

You know, you kind of
remind me of my father.

Honey, I want to talk.

You want me to say
that what you did

last night was okay,
and I'm not gonna do that.

Well, it wasn't okay,
but for a lot of reasons.

Such as?

Well, I thought I was going down
there to work on Brad's car.

But it turns out that,
you know, she was young,

and she knew about
The Three Stooges,

and she knew cars,
and she's attractive,

and I was attracted to her.

So, was she attracted to you?

Well, it turns out, no.

I went down there
to pick up Brad's car.

And I was telling her
that I was happily married.

And trying to explain how it would be
easy to be attracted to a guy like me.

And she introduces me to her
big stud muffin boyfriend.

So, that must've been
kind of embarrassing.

Yes, I made quite
an idiot out of myself.

Go on.

Well, junior there
called me "sir."

That's good.

She said I reminded
her a lot of her dad.

Oh, that's really good.

Yeah.

You're enjoying this,
aren't you?

Immensely.

Well,

that's the reason why I spent too
much time down there, I think.

And drooled all
over the phone, and...

You know, this stuff just... It happens.
It just... It's okay. I just...

I wish you hadn't done
it on our anniversary.

I wish I hadn't done it at all.

You know,
because this is the woman

I like spending
time with, you know?

Do you remember the first
time I told you I loved you?

When was that?

I don't remember,
I was hoping you did.

I'm kidding. Nineteen years ago.
Do you remember?

The front porch of your parents' house.
That summer place they had.

Sitting out there, summertime.

Your old man comes crashing out
of that screen door with a saber.

Chases me off the porch.

What's the matter
with him, anyway?

I never thought I would
see you again that night.

You just did it.

Now what did I do?

You just looked at me the way I
wanted you to look at me last night.

When, wait...
Which look? This one?

No.

Hold it. Wait, wait. It was... I
know it was in there, hold on.

No.

How about this?

No.

I prefer this.

So, I hear you're
pretty good with Mustangs.

What do you say
you work on mine?

Yeah, I'd like that.

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