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1
00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:06,238
Hi. And welcome back
to our Tool Time salute...
2
00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:10,538
Ohhhhhh!
3
00:00:13,246 --> 00:00:15,180
...to golf.
4
00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:17,808
Let's get to it.
We have a very special guest for you.
5
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:21,251
That's right. He's number eight in
all-time earnings on the PGA tour.
6
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:23,288
He's in town at the Golf Expo.
7
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:26,382
Let's give a warm Tool Time
welcome to Payne Stewart.
8
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:34,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
9
00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:40,096
Thanks for making time
to be on the show. You know...
10
00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:43,939
You'd think with the
kind of cash you're pulling down,
11
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:46,979
you could afford
the rest of those trousers.
12
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:51,716
Tim, when you're in the public eye,
you have to have a trademark.
13
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:56,916
With me, it's knickers.
With you, it's burns and abrasions.
14
00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:02,252
Well, Mr. Stewart,
first things first.
15
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,796
How does one go about
choosing the right driver?
16
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:07,298
- Well, it depends on your ability.
- OK.
17
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:10,495
- Now, what's your handicap, Al?
- Tim.
18
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,170
Actually, it's 16.
19
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:17,175
Then along with a few lessons,
you'll want a driver like this.
20
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:20,542
- With an expanded sweet spot.
- All right.
21
00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:22,240
Tim, what's your handicap?
22
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:25,182
Payne, Payne, Payne...
23
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:29,347
What's a handicap? I think golf is more
of a Zen-like, jujitsu type of thing.
24
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:31,982
His handicap is 35.
25
00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:34,250
You guys think you're so good?
26
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:38,524
Why don't we take a shot at my golf
simulator and have a driving contest?
27
00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:40,963
Klaus!
28
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:44,367
Now, the way that this machine works
is there are sensors in the pad
29
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:47,895
which measure the velocity
and the striking angle of the club.
30
00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:50,499
The vector and the velocity
is then measured...
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00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:53,546
Al, shut up and shoot the thing,
will you?
32
00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:56,012
Vector velocities.
33
00:02:06,493 --> 00:02:11,055
Ninety-five yards.
Nice shot, miss.
34
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:17,669
All right, Payne.
Let's see what you got.
35
00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:19,864
See what we can come up with here.
36
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:33,752
Two hundred-ninety-one
yards. Nice drive.
37
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:37,153
Wow. That was a great drive.
Well, I guess this contest is over.
38
00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:41,455
Not so fast.
Heidi, why don't we bring out my driver?
39
00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:44,759
- Here you are, Tim.
- Thank you, Heidi.
40
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,424
- And what would this be?
- I know what this is.
41
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:52,665
This is a special driver designed for
senior citizens to get more distance.
42
00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:58,039
They don't even have to swing it because
it's got 25 caliber charge in it.
43
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,946
Not anymore.
44
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:06,142
I bored it out to a 44 magnum.
45
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:09,780
- That's cheating.
- Welcome to my world.
46
00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:12,255
Stand back, guys.
47
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,627
All right.
48
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:17,388
Fire in the hole.
49
00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:35,341
You the man.
50
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,368
Where are you going in that shirt?
51
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,603
Well, it's happy hour at The Tiki Hut.
52
00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:43,013
You gotta get there by five o'clock,
or the pupu platter is picked clean.
53
00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:47,815
Do you actually meet women there?
Or just go there to pig out on pupu?
54
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:50,117
Well, I haven't met anyone yet.
55
00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:53,625
But I'm forming a social network of
people with similar interests.
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00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:57,459
People who eat dinner off toothpicks
in the middle of the afternoon.
57
00:04:57,530 --> 00:05:00,499
It's a lot of fun.
Why don't you join me for a drink?
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00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:03,729
I'd like to.
You know how I love fresh pupu.
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00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:07,738
But Jill's got the flu and I'm stopping
by the pharmacy to pick up medication.
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00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,035
Anything you suggest?
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00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:11,076
These days I'm strictly homeopathic.
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00:05:11,177 --> 00:05:13,202
No wonder you're not meeting any women.
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00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:18,250
If that's how you feel, fine.
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00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,082
Goodnight, Al.
Goodnight, Tim.
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00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,453
- Heidi, is anything wrong?
- No, nothing.
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00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:25,548
Are you sure?
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00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:29,254
Well, actually,
Scott and I have separated.
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00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,092
He moved out
a couple weeks ago.
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00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:36,901
Heidi, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you
say something about this before?
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00:05:36,969 --> 00:05:39,995
Because I didn't want to bring my
personal problems to work.
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00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:41,438
Why not?
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00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:45,307
Because you said, "Don't ever bring
your personal problems to work."
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00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,779
Since when do you listen to me?
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00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,611
Since you said,
"I had better start listening to you."
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00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,550
Nice going, Mr. Compassion.
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00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:56,179
I might need a little
time off from the show.
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00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:58,223
- Take as much as you need.
- Thanks.
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00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:02,021
I gotta go drop off Amy at Scott's.
He's got her this week.
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00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,258
We can't leave Heidi alone
when she's this upset.
80
00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:06,958
Take her to the Tiki Hut.
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00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:11,766
Well, nothing raises one's spirits
like a fistful of pot stickers.
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00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:14,864
She doesn't need food.
She needs a shoulder to cry on, OK?
83
00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:18,707
Well, I'm not exactly an
expert on relationships, Tim.
84
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:24,444
But you're a good friend and you're a
good listener. Come on, do it for Heidi.
85
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:27,281
- Do it for the show.
- For the show?
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00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:32,256
If she's too upset to come back, you'll
have to squeeze into one of the skirts.
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00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:41,591
- Here you go, Mom.
- Oh, thank you, sweetie.
88
00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:44,534
What are you doing with
all these mail-order catalogs?
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00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:47,630
Now that I'm sick, I finally have
time to look through them.
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00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:48,867
You gotta see this.
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00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:52,308
"The World's Best
Earwax Removal System".
92
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:59,508
And if you act now, they'll toss in
"The World's Best Bunion Scraper".
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00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,084
All right, off we go.
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00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:03,917
Yeah. We're going to the mall
to pick up some CD's.
95
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:12,458
You know what? I'll go with you.
96
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:15,233
Wait a minute.
You don't have to go anywhere.
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00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:18,737
I've got a music catalog that'll save
you money. Look at this.
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00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:21,740
Fifteen CD's for a penny.
99
00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:27,309
Well, it sounds great.
But who's Pat Boone?
100
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,746
- We'll be home before dinner.
- OK.
101
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,909
- Hey, guys.
- Hello, Dad.
102
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:35,678
Well, honey, how are you feeling?
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00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:39,213
How do I look?
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00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,816
That's what I thought.
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00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:43,589
- Help is on the way. Look what I got.
- Oh.
106
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:48,225
Ibuprofen. I got antihistamines.
I got decongestants, analgesics.
107
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,862
I got daytime decongestant.
I've got nighttime decongestant.
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00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:57,136
You take two of everything here and that
flu'll be out of your system in an hour.
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00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:01,044
If I take two of everything here,
I'll be dead in an hour.
110
00:08:01,113 --> 00:08:04,082
Think it'll take the whole hour?
111
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:09,315
- So, how was work today?
- Not so good.
112
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:13,119
- Heidi's marriage is in trouble.
- What?
113
00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:16,719
- Yeah. She and Scott are separated.
- Oh, my God. That's terrible.
114
00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:19,629
Apparently, it hasn't
been good for quite a while.
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00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:24,363
Oh, no. I have to call her.
She probably wants a woman to talk to.
116
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:28,464
It's all taken care of.
She's having dinner with Al.
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00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:32,307
That's a good question. The show's
about to begin. Enjoy yourselves.
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00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,176
- Heidi?
- Hi, Tim.
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00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:35,942
I thought you needed time off.
120
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,245
I did, too. But then I
had dinner with Al.
121
00:08:38,317 --> 00:08:42,083
- He put everything in perspective.
- You and Scott getting back together?
122
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,884
I don't know. But I've
made it over this first hurdle.
123
00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:47,619
Al really helped me
get in touch with my rage.
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00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:50,821
Hm. No one brings out rage
better than Al.
125
00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:00,038
- Good morning, Tim.
- Hi, Al.
126
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:03,974
I don't know what you talked about with
Heidi. But it did a lot of good.
127
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:07,774
Well, last night was pretty
incredible for me, too, you know.
128
00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:13,080
We talked about everything from the
weather to intimate details of her life.
129
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,754
Forget the weather.
How about the other stuff?
130
00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:22,521
Well, basically, you know, after Amy
was born, Heidi didn't feel very sexual.
131
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:26,156
Scott wasrt understanding and that
turned Heidi off to sex even more.
132
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:29,359
- So they're not... uh...
- No. No. Not for a while.
133
00:09:29,435 --> 00:09:31,995
Huh. But before the baby,
Oh, my God!
134
00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:34,573
What? What?
135
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:38,440
Well, I've already said too much. I
don't want to betray Heidi's confidence.
136
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:41,645
- I can respect that.
- OK.
137
00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:46,879
Now, I could guess some things.
If I'm real close, you could just nod.
138
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:48,978
Everybody know
what time it is?
139
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:50,989
Tool Time!
140
00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:55,289
That's right. Binford Tools is proud to
present Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor and
141
00:09:55,361 --> 00:10:00,321
Al "The most sensitive guy
in the world" Borland! Woo-hoo!
142
00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:09,431
Good morning.
143
00:10:09,508 --> 00:10:12,875
Good morning.
Wait a minute. Hold on.
144
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:14,913
Something's different.
Let me guess.
145
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:19,214
You did something with your hair,
didn't you?
146
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:24,746
It's a sinus mask. OK? But if it
doesn't work, it's totally returnable.
147
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:28,988
I'd love to be the
second owner of that thing.
148
00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:32,827
Before you waste more money,
Al's got a bunch of homoerotic remedies.
149
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,365
Why don't I call him?
150
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:37,493
Speaking of work, how's Heidi doing?
151
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:41,506
Very well, thanks to Al. And he's
really taking care of her problems.
152
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,838
Heidi must be grateful
to have a friend like Al.
153
00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:49,641
Stay in the shower, Al. I got it.
Good morning. Borland residence.
154
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:52,775
Uh, wrong number. Bye-bye.
155
00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:59,852
- Who was it?
- It sounded like one of the Muppets.
156
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,056
Is something wrong?
157
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:07,224
Heidi just answered the phone at
Al's house at 7:30 in the morning.
158
00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:11,793
She must've spent the night there.
Now I feel sick.
159
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:19,938
Oh, God. Oh, God.
160
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:25,314
I've got this image
of Al and Heidi.
161
00:11:25,384 --> 00:11:28,148
Get out of my head!
Get out of my head!
162
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:32,623
Heidi did not sleep with Al.
First of all, she's a married woman.
163
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,786
And second of all, she, she
wouldn't go for a guy like Al.
164
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,624
Her husband is tall and handsome.
165
00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:41,962
I mean, he spends more time at the gym
than Al does at Hickory Farms.
166
00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:45,095
Honey, I'm not saying that it happened.
167
00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:49,232
But I could understand how a woman like
Heidi could fall for a guy like Al.
168
00:11:49,308 --> 00:11:50,798
In what universe?
169
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:54,209
Women like Heidi have had
the gorgeous hunks.
170
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:58,910
The second time around, they want
somebody less exciting, more dependable.
171
00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:02,681
Me... I went for number two first.
172
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,556
You don't understand.
You do not understand.
173
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:09,355
Al is like a dependable
four-door Rambler...
174
00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:12,158
...and Heidi like a
twelve-cylinder Ferrari.
175
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:15,359
They don't belong in the same garage.
176
00:12:15,434 --> 00:12:18,597
And yet she parked overnight there.
177
00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:20,866
Nothing happened!
178
00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:23,704
But I won't rest until
I find out what's going on.
179
00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:28,110
Oh, Tim. Look, even if they were
parked in the same garage,
180
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:31,013
you are not their mechanic.
You're just being petty.
181
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,812
Oh, I'm being petty?
182
00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:37,720
Yeah. Why should you be the only
one with an incredibly desirable woman?
183
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,856
- Hi, Al.
- Hey.
184
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:47,092
Hey, would you help me put my tool belt
on? I just touched up my nails.
185
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:50,658
- Okey-dokey.
- Thank you.
186
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:54,673
- Hey.
- Yeah?
187
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:59,643
I just want to tell you how wonderful
it's been for me these past few days.
188
00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:07,986
Well, it's been pretty incredible for
me, too. You're really a special lady.
189
00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:10,419
Thanks. You have a good show.
190
00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:13,458
- You, too.
- OK.
191
00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:16,057
- Morning, Tim.
- Is it?
192
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,832
Hey! How are you doing, buddy?
193
00:13:22,935 --> 00:13:25,096
Good.
194
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:29,130
You know, I, uh, called your house this
morning and Heidi answered the phone.
195
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,739
- So, you're Kermit?
- Maybe.
196
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,369
Uh-huh.
197
00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:37,176
Well, anyway,
Jill and I got to talking and
198
00:13:37,249 --> 00:13:40,412
we were thinking that maybe
you and Heidi were...
199
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:41,987
What?
200
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:43,054
You know.
201
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:46,921
Even though I told her that a Rambler
couldn't jump-start a Ferrari.
202
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,687
But, you know...
203
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:54,700
So you're saying it would be impossible
for Heidi to be interested in Al?
204
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:59,370
No. I don't believe it.
But other people are talking.
205
00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:02,566
Well, those other people
can think what they want.
206
00:14:02,641 --> 00:14:06,008
Amen. Amen.
207
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:14,718
But, uh, would those other people
be right or would they be wrong?
208
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:19,187
Well, Tim, are you asking me
to talk about my personal life at work?
209
00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:23,922
Yes. I think it's about time we
opened up and shared our experiences.
210
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:28,593
OK. I, uh, I actually have
something I'd like to share.
211
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,498
Let it go.
Don't hold anything back.
212
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:32,728
The truth is, Heidi and I...
213
00:14:32,838 --> 00:14:34,703
Yeah? Yeah?
214
00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:38,937
...are entitled to our privacy.
215
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:50,047
There's 40 bucks well spent.
216
00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:55,389
Hey, this happens to be
the world's best tissue disposer.
217
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:59,397
It shreds, decontaminates,
and deodorizes.
218
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:06,062
I wonder if it would
work on your meatloaf.
219
00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:10,334
I'll be back in about an hour.
All right?
220
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:11,376
Where are you going?
221
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:13,968
I'm gonna go over to Al's
house and do some repairs.
222
00:15:14,046 --> 00:15:17,914
- Dad, it's ten o'clock at night.
- I'm a conscientious landlord, son.
223
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:22,943
The same landlord who said, "Al, do you
really need heat in February?"
224
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:29,293
What are you gonna fix
with these binoculars?
225
00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:32,956
That is such an insulting question
I'm not even gonna answer it.
226
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:35,865
You have sunk this low.
You're gonna go spy on poor Al.
227
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,699
I just don't want him hurt.
I'm gonna need those back.
228
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:41,069
No. Forget about it.
You're not going there.
229
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,472
There's nothing wrong
with being curious.
230
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,407
You are not curious;
you're obsessed.
231
00:15:45,477 --> 00:15:46,535
I'm not obsessed.
232
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,672
Last night you cried out
their names in your sleep.
233
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:54,581
And after that I just cried.
234
00:15:54,653 --> 00:15:57,713
It's torture having this image
filling up my brain.
235
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,953
Especially with space
at such a premium.
236
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:12,302
Ooh. Something smells good out
here, Wilson. What are you doing?
237
00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:15,738
I'm boiling up some sap
for the Michigan Maple Festival.
238
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:19,972
Speaking of saps, wait till
you hear what Al's been doing.
239
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,980
You don't have to tell me.
I've heard all about it.
240
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:24,015
What?
241
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:26,880
What Al told me
is in strictest confidence.
242
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,985
- Well, you know, Wilson...
- Mm-hm?
243
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:32,683
...I could get you
a riding mower from Binford.
244
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:35,659
Sixteen-horse rear-bagger
for cost plus ten.
245
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:38,993
Sorry, neighbor.
I can't be bought.
246
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:40,725
Why would Al tell you and not me?
247
00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:44,360
Well, maybe because I didn't
search his locker for long brown hairs.
248
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:51,472
Which, according to the lab, either
belonged to a collie or Al's mother.
249
00:16:52,578 --> 00:16:55,843
Tim, why are you so interested
in Al and Heidi's personal life?
250
00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:59,577
I don't know. I've never cared
about Al's personal life before.
251
00:16:59,651 --> 00:17:03,587
And I've never asked Heidi about hers.
But you put the two of them together...
252
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:07,182
There's that image again.
253
00:17:07,259 --> 00:17:10,717
Tim, have you ever heard
of the term "cognitive dissonance?"
254
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:13,924
You know I'm not into politics.
255
00:17:13,999 --> 00:17:17,901
Cognitive dissonance is when pieces of
our lives no longer make sense.
256
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:22,498
Beliefs we always held true seem to be
false so we reorder our way of thinking.
257
00:17:25,677 --> 00:17:29,340
Are you saying a Rambler
could hook bumpers with a Ferrari?
258
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:30,746
It's very possible.
259
00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:35,515
No, no. If what you say is true
then everything I believe is false.
260
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:40,047
- Now, Tim. That's not necessarily...
- Let me go with this for a minute. OK?
261
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:43,617
This means that maybe cars aren't the
most important thing in the world.
262
00:17:43,695 --> 00:17:45,219
- Ohh...
- No, wait a minute.
263
00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:47,925
Opera's more manly than football?
264
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,901
- Neighbor...
- Al's mother is thin?
265
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:56,935
Tim, it's not easy to change one's
perceptions. But it can be very healthy.
266
00:17:57,042 --> 00:17:59,510
Some people might say
it's a growth experience.
267
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,341
OK, Wilson. How far does this go?
268
00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:03,938
How do I really know you are
who I think you are?
269
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:07,383
- How do I know you're who I think?
- How do I know you said that?
270
00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:10,046
- How do I know you heard?
- How do I know you're here?
271
00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:14,889
Who else would have the time to come out
and listen to this silly conversation?
272
00:18:17,796 --> 00:18:20,162
Hey, Al.
Can I talk to you for a minute?
273
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:21,755
I don't think so.
274
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:25,964
I'm not gonna feed your appetite for
lurid gossip and tawdry innuendo.
275
00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:30,668
And, by the way,
I installed an alarm on my locker.
276
00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:34,903
I shouldn't have gotten
involved in your personal life.
277
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:37,744
From now on, your business
is your business, all right?
278
00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,282
Well, I appreciate that.
279
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:44,015
If there's any other part of my life you
want to talk about, I'm an open book.
280
00:18:44,089 --> 00:18:46,614
I'm not much of a reader. Thanks.
281
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:48,353
- Have a good show.
- OK.
282
00:18:49,561 --> 00:18:51,290
- Good morning, Al.
- How are ya?
283
00:18:51,363 --> 00:18:55,094
- Oh, I feel so great this morning.
- Oh, I feel pretty great myself.
284
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:57,465
How about Sorentino's
for dinner tonight?
285
00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:59,697
All week long it's
"Fettuccine Madness"!
286
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,171
- I'm afraid I can't make it.
- Why not?
287
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:07,406
Well, thanks to the things you
said, I saw Scott last night.
288
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,846
And we're gonna get back together.
Isn't that great?
289
00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:15,819
Oh, that's so great! Yes, that's...
Good for you!
290
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,823
- Thanks. I got you a something.
- You didn't have to do that.
291
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,359
- I wanted to. Here.
- Oh, thank you.
292
00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:25,658
I also want to thank you for letting me
sleep on your hide-a-bed.
293
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:28,359
Well, now I call it the Heidi-bed.
294
00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:31,664
Good.
295
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,570
Oh, it's The Tiki Hut Cookbook!
296
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,666
- Do you like it?
- I love this!
297
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,108
Now I can make pupu at home.
298
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:46,078
Hey, Al.
Thank you for everything.
299
00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:48,119
Oh, well...
300
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:53,486
Uh, Heidi... Uh... can I
just talk to you about one thing?
301
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:54,890
Sure. What?
302
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,623
Well, after that night
you stayed at my house,
303
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:04,431
Tim got this crazy idea that,
that you and I might have...
304
00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:06,266
How do I say this?
305
00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:09,796
- Slept together.
- Yeah. OK. Yeah, that's it.
306
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,571
And he thought that was impossible
307
00:20:12,644 --> 00:20:15,374
because he doesn't think
a beautiful woman like you
308
00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:19,178
could ever be interested in,
in a guy like me.
309
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:20,980
Oh, is that so?
310
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,214
Well, let me tell you something, Al.
311
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:28,453
If I werert married, you're exactly
the type of guy I'd be looking for.
312
00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:38,466
Thank you. I wish,
I wish Tim could hear you say that.
313
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:43,041
You know, I don't think Tim
really needs to hear anything.
314
00:20:53,218 --> 00:20:55,482
- Howdy, Wilson.
- Hidy-ho.
315
00:20:55,554 --> 00:20:58,523
Not hidy-ho.
Let's talk Heidi-Al.
316
00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:01,756
Tim, are you still
obsessing about that?
317
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:04,557
Well, I wasrt until today
when I saw Heidi kissing Al.
318
00:21:04,630 --> 00:21:07,497
And no peck on the cheek.
She just drove it home.
319
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:09,723
- Tim.
- Yeah?
320
00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:11,860
Get a hobby.
321
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:14,005
Good-night.
322
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,802
I think you're right
about what you said yesterday.
323
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:21,642
Nothing's right with me. I think I am
suffering from communist discotheque.
324
00:21:21,747 --> 00:21:24,773
Tim, can we chat about this tomorrow?
I am a little busy.
325
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:29,216
Wilson, where do you keep
a copy of Lady Chatterley's Lover?
326
00:21:30,722 --> 00:21:32,451
I gotta get some new friends.
327
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:39,623
You'd think with all the money
you pull down
328
00:21:39,731 --> 00:21:42,427
you could afford the rest
of those pantaloonies...
329
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:46,796
You'd think with the money you make...
330
00:21:46,872 --> 00:21:48,999
I have... I have... I have...
331
00:21:49,074 --> 00:21:52,601
I have to say the word
"culottes" just once.
332
00:21:52,678 --> 00:21:56,842
You don't want to be the only one
with a desirable woman.
333
00:21:57,305 --> 00:22:03,360
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