All language subtitles for Home Improvement -Season 7- E14

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:04,666 - Hi, Mom. - Hi. 2 00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:06,638 Wow! You're home late from work. 3 00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:08,867 I stayed at the mall and did some shopping. 4 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,035 You guys have no idea how lucky you are. 5 00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:13,443 When I was your age, the closest thing to a mall 6 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,812 was a Walgreers with a FotoMat in the parking lot. 7 00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:21,217 Man, between that and black-and-white TV, your life was a living hell! 8 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,990 - So, what's in the bag? - Oh, that's my old shirt. 9 00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:28,585 Check out the new one I bought. You've never seen anything like it. 10 00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:32,258 Actually, I think I have. 11 00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:40,566 Oh, man! 12 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:48,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.SubtitleDB.org today 13 00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:31,256 - Hi, honey. - Oh, hi, sweetie. 14 00:01:31,324 --> 00:01:32,985 Evening... 15 00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:36,929 Evening, Humpty, Dumpty. 16 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:41,131 I guess you're wondering why we're both wearing this. 17 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:44,967 No. I was wondering why anyone would wear that shirt. 18 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,604 Do you remember that investment property? 19 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:52,201 Oh, the house on, uh, Grant or Shadeland? 20 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:56,510 Shadeland, right. They came down $2,000. I, um, I think they're ready to sell. 21 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:59,848 Do you think it's wise to tie up your money in a rental property? 22 00:01:59,919 --> 00:02:03,013 The price is right. We're gonna fix it up, rent it out, then... 23 00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:06,456 Why are we discussing our financial choices with you kids? 24 00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:09,892 Two kids dressed like a pair of lava lamps. 25 00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:15,401 - You want to take a look one more time? - That's a good idea. 26 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:18,130 - Get the dishes, set the table. - What's for dinner? 27 00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,866 Whatever Randy decides to make. 28 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:22,840 Hey, think pork. 29 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,918 If that's the school uniform, I am not going to high school. 30 00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:42,584 Welcome back to Tool Time on location. 31 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:45,222 Thank you, Heidi. For those of you who just joined us, 32 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:48,357 My wife and I bought this rental property as an investment. 33 00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:52,165 We're gonna show you some tips and an economical way to make this a makeover. 34 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:55,765 Nothing brightens a room better than fresh paint. First thing... 35 00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:04,478 We've just taken a tour of the kitchen where we're gonna have to retile. 36 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,314 A lot of nice stuff in that kitchen. 37 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,946 I can't believe how beautiful that vintage stove is. 38 00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:12,616 Oh, you're just excited. He found a 40-year-old French fry in that stove. 39 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,657 - Let's inspect the living room. - Right. 40 00:03:15,728 --> 00:03:18,788 And after that, Tim is gonna take a look at the den 41 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,231 while I figure out what to do in the bathroom. 42 00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:24,861 You're just now figuring that out? 43 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:28,101 No. But I figured out why we're doing this show on renovation. 44 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,371 Once again, Tim gets all his work done for free. 45 00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:35,507 Wow! Mr. Cynical. I'm just here to do good work, OK? 46 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,311 Any renter's gonna love these. 47 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:40,147 A fabulous addition to any home. Don't you think? 48 00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:46,454 This is a tool show, not the Please Rent My House channel. 49 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:49,051 Mr. Snippy today, isn't he? 50 00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:52,427 I think someone didn't get their hot links this morning. 51 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:56,862 These glass doorknobs are in great shape. I think they're a little loose. 52 00:03:56,936 --> 00:04:00,064 My wife and I are gonna go in a different direction. 53 00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:03,506 - Upgrade them with brass fixtures. - No! You can't get rid of these. 54 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:07,137 This is part of the house's charm. I love these doorknobs. 55 00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:10,182 Well, don't get too attached to them. They'll turn on you. 56 00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:16,253 Next to fresh paint, replacing carpet is the quick way to update your place. 57 00:04:16,356 --> 00:04:18,449 I don't think so, Heidi. 58 00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:22,551 Why re-carpet when the floors are a beautiful peg and groove? 59 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,859 - Ooh! - A big plus for any renter. 60 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:27,695 You know, Al, I think you might be right. 61 00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,201 - Hi, guys. - Hi, Jill. 62 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:34,832 - My business partner, my wife Jill. - You taping? I don't have makeup on! 63 00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:37,273 Oh, you look fine. You look fine, honey. 64 00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:40,312 I'm gonna put the shower curtain in the bathroom, all right? 65 00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:44,111 That's a beautiful pattern for a shower curtain, a big plus for any bathroom. 66 00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:47,152 Once we get this fixed up, any renter's gonna love this house. 67 00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,848 Yes, they will. In fact, I'll take it. 68 00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:53,255 Thanks, Al. We'll be right back after these messages from Binford. 69 00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:57,656 OK, let's move to the den. Get that set up. 70 00:04:57,730 --> 00:05:00,494 I'm trying to rent this place. Don't joke around, OK? 71 00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:03,091 I'm not joking. I really would like to rent this. 72 00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:04,329 - What? - Oh, my God. 73 00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:06,302 You'd be the perfect renter. 74 00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:09,341 Do you want Al living right around the corner from us? 75 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,039 We can carpool! Hey! 76 00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,477 You're not helping your case, Al. 77 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:18,107 I've been wanting to get out of that bachelor apartment for years! 78 00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:19,651 I would love living here! 79 00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:22,984 Al is clean. He's quiet. He'd be the perfect tenant. 80 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,354 I was Tenant of the Month 11 times last year. 81 00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:28,986 - What do you think? - Please? 82 00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:32,561 Don't beg, you look like those circus poodles. 83 00:05:34,967 --> 00:05:38,061 I don't know. Well, why not? 84 00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:41,402 Oh, yes! All right! Oh, I'm gonna love living here! 85 00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,500 Look, I'll even have a coat closet! 86 00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:48,772 Well, congratulations, Al. 87 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:52,682 Oh! And with that big back yard, I'll finally be able to get a dog. 88 00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:54,879 Oh, I'm sorry. No pets. 89 00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:58,446 OK. But, boy, this is gonna be a nice place for mother to visit. 90 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,049 Like I said... no pets. 91 00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,392 I'm gonna pick up Samantha. We're going to the movies. 92 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:10,527 Hey, um, Randy and Lauren are going to the movies, too. Can you take them? 93 00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:12,969 Hey, Randy! 94 00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:19,136 What are you doing? We agreed this was my shirt night. 95 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,874 Before Samantha told me this was her favorite shirt. 96 00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,916 Lauren said this was her favorite shirt. 97 00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:27,747 I don't want a girlfriend if I'm gonna have to wear that shirt. 98 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:30,755 Mark, it's not the clothes that matter. 99 00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:33,451 You'll be rejected based on who you are. 100 00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:36,359 Brad, it's his turn to wear the shirt. It's only fair. 101 00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:39,364 I've only got a year to wear this shirt before I grow out of it. 102 00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:41,696 He's got the rest of his life. 103 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,406 Yeah? And you have the rest of your life to learn math. 104 00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:50,909 Hey, hey, hey! That is enough, guys! 105 00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:54,936 We're just gonna flip a coin. Whoever loses takes the shirt back to the store. 106 00:06:55,014 --> 00:06:58,450 - Mark, give me a quarter. - You know, I'm gonna need that back. 107 00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:02,520 All right, Brad. You're the oldest so you pick. 108 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,419 - Tails. - Heads it is. You lose. 109 00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:10,360 Hey, and, uh, while you're up there, you might want to rethink the pants. 110 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:14,058 Oh, finally I can get some work done. 111 00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:16,067 Arert you forgetting something? 112 00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:19,334 I love you. 113 00:07:20,506 --> 00:07:22,599 I know. I know. 114 00:07:25,978 --> 00:07:28,242 There was a long line at that photocopy place. 115 00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:31,772 - I got the documents for our tenant. - Wait, this is what you had copied? 116 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:33,341 Uh-huh. 117 00:07:33,419 --> 00:07:36,547 You're making Al sign, what is this, an 18-page lease? 118 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,153 It's a business venture, honey. 119 00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:43,923 I'm doing this to protect us and to protect Al. 120 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:48,763 Oh, I see. You are protecting your best friend by asking for references? 121 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,167 You'll notice I gave him a glowing one. 122 00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:57,308 According to this sworn statement here, 123 00:07:57,376 --> 00:07:59,742 his apartment manager says 124 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:03,304 that he once neglected to clean out a lint trap. 125 00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:06,485 Yep. 126 00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:09,953 I had to grill that old lady six hours to get her to rat him out. 127 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:13,923 I can't believe it! You asked for Al's credit history? 128 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,324 You got it. Look back here. 129 00:08:15,394 --> 00:08:19,763 1987, he bounced an $8 check at Cheese World. 130 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,995 Ah, here it is! 131 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:27,096 Captain Jerky's Meat-Curing Kit. 132 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,737 Hey, Tim. It's open. 133 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,814 Hey, Al. The place looks great. 134 00:08:35,882 --> 00:08:38,180 I brought over your signed copy of the lease. 135 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,685 Without a forklift? 136 00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:44,983 I can't believe you had me sign an 18-page lease. 137 00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:48,220 You know, my last lease was two pages. Don't you trust me? 138 00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:51,024 Al, of course I trust you. 139 00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:54,328 I got one little addendum I want you to sign, though, right here. 140 00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:56,962 There you go. 141 00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:03,033 A "no gravy in the bedroom" clause? 142 00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:06,039 As long as I'm here, anything else you need? 143 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,637 As a matter of fact, there is. You know what? 144 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,080 The, uh, the sink in the kitchen here is leaking. 145 00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:14,914 And this window up here seems to be a little bit stuck. 146 00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:18,115 Just get a washer for the faucet and put some silicone on there. 147 00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:19,919 Here you go. 148 00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:22,760 Well, you see, I'm the tenant. 149 00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:26,730 And repairs would be the landlord's responsibility. 150 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:30,326 Come on. Tenant, landlord... let's not get hung up on the labels, buddy. 151 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,031 Well, you want to go by the book, I'm going by the book. 152 00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:37,337 And according to section 12, paragraph seven, 153 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,379 uh, you "are responsible for all repairs 154 00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:43,415 or I have someone do it and take it out of the rent." 155 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,453 Buddy, buddy, buddy... 156 00:09:51,657 --> 00:09:55,991 Close examination of the spirit of this lease will inform you that that's... 157 00:09:56,062 --> 00:09:58,189 ...a sign for renters that are not handy. 158 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,824 You are very good with your hands. 159 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,767 Speaking of which, here you go. Right there. 160 00:10:05,204 --> 00:10:08,105 All right. I will sign your addendum. 161 00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:10,665 Good. Uh-huh. 162 00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:12,608 Date it. 163 00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:16,645 OK. 164 00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:19,685 Now you fix my house. 165 00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:21,877 Come on. 166 00:10:21,988 --> 00:10:26,049 You wouldn't be ashamed to have someone else repair stuff you could do? 167 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,753 Not in the least. 168 00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:33,331 - You really want me fixing this? - You wouldn't be my first choice. 169 00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:34,559 But... 170 00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:40,597 ...I'll be right here behind you watching every move you make, "buddy!" 171 00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:46,275 Tim, you're using the wrong wrench on that faucet. 172 00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:52,315 You ask me to fix your house. Now you don't trust me to do it right? 173 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:57,113 I didn't trust you before I asked you. 174 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:06,591 Thanks to your credit checks, they don't trust me at Cheese World anymore. 175 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:24,349 Al, would you hand me the WD-40, please? 176 00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:27,010 Sorry, landlord. No can do. 177 00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:32,485 According to Public Act Number 42 of 1917, 178 00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:35,026 that's not the tenant's responsibility. 179 00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:38,552 OK, what is the tenant's responsibility? 180 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:43,500 I believe it's to pay the rent and not eat gravy in the bedroom. 181 00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:56,172 Al, are you gonna eat that apple the entire time I'm fixing the doorknob? 182 00:11:56,248 --> 00:12:00,947 No. At the rate you're going, I'll be able to fit in two pears and a plum. 183 00:12:02,922 --> 00:12:07,291 After you've fixed this door, I want you to take a look at the, uh, chimney here. 184 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:11,226 Al, I don't have time for this. A lot of this stuff you could do. 185 00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:14,824 You're right. And for $200 an hour, I would love to. 186 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:17,966 You'd charge me for this? 187 00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:20,972 I'm just exercising my tenant's rights. 188 00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:26,067 This really isn't working out. Maybe you should find some other place to live. 189 00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:28,146 What? Are you throwing me out? 190 00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:31,149 - No. - Good. Because you can't evict me. 191 00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:33,913 - Oh, yes, I can. - No, you can't. 192 00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:36,147 - Yes, I can. - No, you can't. I'll sue you. 193 00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:37,780 I have an ironclad lease! 194 00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:42,259 That won't hold up in a court of law. I know. I wrote it. 195 00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:52,168 I don't believe this! You told Al that you want to evict him? 196 00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:55,696 That's right. Because he's the tenant from hell all of a sudden. 197 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:59,438 He's chasing me around the house making me do everything by the law. 198 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,446 Well... What about you? 199 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:05,473 I mean, you've done everything to him short of running fingerprints on him. 200 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,888 No! You did not! 201 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,222 It may have been a computer error, 202 00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:16,921 but I think he's wanted in Texas on mail fraud charges. 203 00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:20,057 Oh, Tim! 204 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:22,965 I mean, it took him all his courage, you know, 205 00:13:23,035 --> 00:13:24,798 to get out of that cramped apartment. 206 00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:27,930 Then kick him out on the street. How could you do that to poor Al? 207 00:13:28,007 --> 00:13:32,171 Poor Al, my foot. How about poor me? He wants to sue me. 208 00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:36,180 And that bonehead would probably take this right to the Supreme Court. 209 00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:39,945 You won't stand a chance. Sandra Day O'Connor's gonna love Al. 210 00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:43,954 Gidget? 211 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:47,791 Have you thought about any of the ramifications of this? 212 00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:51,318 I mean, you two work together. What's gonna happen to your friendship? 213 00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:54,560 That will be for the courts to decide, honey. 214 00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:56,396 You're not going to work this out? 215 00:13:56,468 --> 00:13:59,198 No. Because even if I did, 216 00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:02,968 I run the risk of Al forcing me to snake out his toilets. 217 00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:05,408 And that's a risk I'm not willing to take. 218 00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:10,180 If you're not gonna talk to him, then I'm gonna do it for you. 219 00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:12,217 Oh, good. Good luck. 220 00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:16,618 Go over there and talk, you'll end up sucking asbestos out of his attic. 221 00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:30,896 Wilson, if you need firewood, I got plenty here. 222 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:32,938 You don't have to chop down your house. 223 00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:36,303 No, no, no, Tim. I'm just knocking down some icicles. 224 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,575 One of my favorite things, 225 00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:43,206 right up there with spreading steer manure on a hot summer day. 226 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:47,410 I'd rather spread steer manure than be Al's landlord. 227 00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:51,513 Really? I would've thought Al would've been the perfect tenant. 228 00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:55,356 That's why I gave him such an enthusiastic reference. 229 00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:58,123 Maybe I went a little bit overboard. 230 00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:01,963 You're the only one that quoted Shakespeare on a rental application. 231 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,695 So, you're saying objectively 232 00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:10,333 that the person at fault is the lessee as opposed to the lessor. 233 00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:15,939 More or less. 234 00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:17,811 Well, so what happened? 235 00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:20,113 We're just disagreeing over the lease. 236 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:22,346 So, I'm... I'm gonna have to evict him. 237 00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:25,515 Well, Tim, I'm shocked that you would evict your best friend. 238 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:28,321 I'm more shocked that you would make him sign a lease. 239 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,157 I'm new at the landlord thing. 240 00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,356 I'm trying to do everything businesslike. 241 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:36,800 Tim, let me ask, if I was renting from you, would you make me sign a lease? 242 00:15:36,902 --> 00:15:39,632 Well... yeah. 243 00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:43,641 Probably let you skip the... the fingerprinting and the blood samples. 244 00:15:46,845 --> 00:15:49,609 Tim, a landlord doesn't have to do that. 245 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,377 They don't have to do that. When I do something new, 246 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,009 I like to go at it full strength! 247 00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:56,452 Like the time you brought home the riding mower. 248 00:15:56,522 --> 00:15:59,013 I didn't have to put 120 horsepower in that thing. 249 00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:01,616 I did 'cause there's nothing better than adding... 250 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,060 More power. 251 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:07,492 There's a difference between powering up a lawnmower 252 00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:10,194 and lording it over your best friend. 253 00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:12,635 You know, Henry Adams the historian said, 254 00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:16,003 "A friend in power is a friend lost." 255 00:16:16,875 --> 00:16:19,571 I might've got a bit crazy on that. 256 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,808 Twenty-one clauses and that thorough investigation. 257 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,478 Well, what did you gain from that? 258 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:29,646 Well, I lost my first tenant, my best friend. 259 00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,383 I've got a huge photocopy bill. 260 00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:37,258 But they carved a head of me up there at Cheese World. They set it out. 261 00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:48,834 - Hi, Al. - Hi, Jill. 262 00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:52,501 Can I come in? 263 00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:56,346 It's your house. You can do whatever you want to. 264 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,375 I brought you a housewarming gift. 265 00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:04,481 Why would you do that? Your husband is trying to evict me. 266 00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:07,258 Well, I think he's totally out of line. 267 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,987 You really think that? Oh, I'm so glad you think that! 268 00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:11,552 Thank you! Oh! 269 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:14,758 And that is why I'm going to fight him to the death on this. 270 00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:18,462 You know, he may have his money and his... his big-city lawyers, 271 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:21,904 but I have the sword of justice on my side. 272 00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,470 Jerky? 273 00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:29,407 No. No, thank you. Al, this doesn't have to end up in the courts. 274 00:17:29,481 --> 00:17:32,609 I mean, you and Tim just have to come to your senses. 275 00:17:32,684 --> 00:17:34,413 Tim? 276 00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:38,445 The man who has federal marshals hounding me about some mail fraud rap? 277 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:44,361 Well, we all know that Tim has a tendency to go overboard. 278 00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:46,988 Yeah. Well, when he goes overboard with me... 279 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:51,628 ...he turns the whole ship upside-down. And I'm left holding onto my dinghy. 280 00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:01,906 Well, it's just... you know, he... he takes advantage of me. 281 00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,811 - I know. - It makes me so mad! 282 00:18:03,882 --> 00:18:07,648 - I just... I sink to his level! - OK. What do you mean by that? 283 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:09,584 Well, I... 284 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:12,522 First, Tim makes me sign this ridiculous lease. 285 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:15,560 And then when I ask him to abide by the lease 286 00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:18,289 and fix some things around the house, he resists. 287 00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:22,265 And that... you know, I retaliate by... by finding more things for him to fix. 288 00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:25,303 - Well, that's understandable. - It gets worse than that. 289 00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:30,137 Because once he fixed everything, I... I started breaking new things on purpose. 290 00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:34,076 - You broke things? - Yeah. 291 00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:36,545 That's sick. 292 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,074 It's also really, really funny. 293 00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:44,184 You know, I've done similar things to him for different reasons. 294 00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:45,723 - You have? - This one time, 295 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,487 I was really overwhelmed with schoolwork. 296 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,791 He kept pestering me about remodeling a bathroom or something. 297 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:54,731 So, I snuck out to the garage and... 298 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:59,169 ...I... I squirted some motor oil under the engine of his Mustang. 299 00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:01,432 It kept him out of my hair for days. 300 00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,068 That's brilliant! 301 00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:08,010 This other time, I painted chicken pox on Mark's face 302 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,708 so I wouldn't have to go to a tractor pull. 303 00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:14,677 This is a side of you I never knew existed! 304 00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:17,812 - Yeah. I'm devious. - Yeah, you are. You're very devious. 305 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,757 - What's so funny? - Nothing. 306 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:27,628 You guys are laughing over this lease? 307 00:19:27,699 --> 00:19:31,191 I've been giving a lot of thought about this landlordltenant thing. 308 00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:33,602 And we gotta work this out. 309 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:36,334 - You think so? - Yeah. I don't want you out... 310 00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,968 Well, you guys obviously have to talk. 311 00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:41,238 - No, we don't. I was done. I'm done. - Bye! 312 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,576 - That was it. I don't have to talk. - Oh, no, no. 313 00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:46,584 She's right. We have some issues we have to discuss. 314 00:19:47,452 --> 00:19:50,580 I say we just let bygones be bygones and start over. 315 00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:51,884 - How about that? - Oh, no. 316 00:19:51,957 --> 00:19:54,585 It goes much deeper than that, you know? 317 00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:57,288 This affects the very fabric of our relationship. 318 00:19:57,362 --> 00:20:00,525 This is like talking to Jill with a beard. 319 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:05,693 Now, Tim, I... You know, I have some things to admit. 320 00:20:05,771 --> 00:20:09,935 I have been childish and petty and unreasonable throughout all of this. 321 00:20:10,008 --> 00:20:11,635 - I have a confession. - Good. 322 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,200 You're absolutely right. 323 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:18,107 Well, obviously, you're not ready to talk about these things. 324 00:20:18,183 --> 00:20:21,812 Well, what the hey, you know? You made the gesture and came over here. 325 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,515 And I admitted I was petty and childish. 326 00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:27,957 And you made the gesture and came over here. And... 327 00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:31,189 - And see you, Al. - Apology accepted. 328 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,694 Uh, the truth is, Al, you know me. 329 00:20:34,766 --> 00:20:37,462 When I start something new, I tend to go a little crazy. 330 00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:39,970 It always affects the people closest to me first. 331 00:20:40,038 --> 00:20:42,370 And the truth is you're a responsible guy. 332 00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:48,004 And you can... you can live here without the lease. 333 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,310 - Uh... - Al, don't say another word. 334 00:20:50,382 --> 00:20:54,284 Without the lease. Forget about it. The lease is gone. Bye-bye. See you later. 335 00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:56,583 Well, thank you, Tim. 336 00:20:57,489 --> 00:21:00,356 That was actually my life insurance policy. 337 00:21:06,698 --> 00:21:09,929 Well, here it is. The new shirt. 338 00:21:14,906 --> 00:21:19,434 Congratulations, Brad. I... I know I have never seen anything like that. 339 00:21:20,812 --> 00:21:23,303 Now, you're not gonna go out and buy one of these. 340 00:21:23,382 --> 00:21:26,442 Oh, you actually paid money for that? 341 00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:30,120 Looks like you peeled it off a dead clown. 342 00:21:32,557 --> 00:21:35,253 Look who I brought home for dinner, everybody. 343 00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:37,158 - Ah! - Hi, Jill. Hey, Mark. 344 00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:39,959 - Hey, Al. - Ooh, nice shirt. 345 00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:45,132 - You like it? I just got it. - Yeah. Well, me too! 346 00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:50,308 All right! 347 00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:54,809 Forget about it. You don't need this lease. 348 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:58,008 No, no, no, no, no... 349 00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:02,880 There we go. OK. 350 00:22:08,694 --> 00:22:11,458 He may have his money and his big-city lawyers, 351 00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:14,590 but I have the sword of justice in my side. 352 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:17,226 - Is it in your side? - It's right here. 353 00:22:18,305 --> 00:22:24,552 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from SubtitleDB.org 30107

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