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1
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:14,659
_
2
00:00:59,243 --> 00:01:00,877
Agh.
3
00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:08,702
Testing.
4
00:01:13,988 --> 00:01:17,779
Well, that seems pretty conclusive.
She can also hear us.
5
00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:39,980
Synced & corrected by
minouhse www.addic7ed.com
6
00:01:46,494 --> 00:01:47,863
Clear.
7
00:01:47,988 --> 00:01:50,765
This room gonna get some DIY.
8
00:01:51,574 --> 00:01:53,974
What is this impudence?
9
00:01:55,848 --> 00:01:58,557
This is my room, do you hear me?
My room.
10
00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:02,515
What sort of heathen just barges in
on a lady while she's sleeping?
11
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:07,029
What on earth is going on?
12
00:02:07,646 --> 00:02:09,863
♪ Daddy gonna drill a hole in the wall... ♪
13
00:02:09,988 --> 00:02:11,863
Daddy is not drilling any holes in any...
14
00:02:14,705 --> 00:02:16,487
This is beyond the pale.
15
00:02:16,613 --> 00:02:17,997
No.
What are you do...?
16
00:02:22,551 --> 00:02:25,863
You have got to be joking.
17
00:02:25,988 --> 00:02:28,263
- Mike.
- Er...
18
00:02:28,869 --> 00:02:30,863
This looks fun.
19
00:02:30,988 --> 00:02:33,760
I'm going to call it the smile hole.
20
00:02:33,886 --> 00:02:37,246
- Hello, Lady Button. Morning.
- Mike.
21
00:02:37,372 --> 00:02:40,676
No, no, no. You can't just leave it like this.
Where are you going? You can't just...
22
00:02:40,801 --> 00:02:43,585
So, what's your favourite morning song?
I think mine is...
23
00:02:43,711 --> 00:02:47,865
♪ There's a lark in the bushel
at the corner of the... ♪
24
00:02:49,787 --> 00:02:52,129
- Mike.
- Er...
25
00:02:55,956 --> 00:02:57,264
- They're back.
- Who?
26
00:02:57,389 --> 00:02:58,988
Them.
27
00:03:00,256 --> 00:03:01,522
Er...
28
00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:05,965
Don't shriek, you ill-bred hen.
It is unseemly for a lady to...
29
00:03:06,813 --> 00:03:11,222
Him. Cover that up at once.
You beastly wretch.
30
00:03:11,348 --> 00:03:15,733
I refuse to be taunted in my own
home by that lying, cheating...
31
00:03:15,859 --> 00:03:17,904
Ex-husband.
You know how it is.
32
00:03:18,735 --> 00:03:21,264
- We're the same height.
- Do you need a tea?
33
00:03:21,389 --> 00:03:22,913
Lady coming through.
34
00:03:23,039 --> 00:03:24,443
What's your favourite colour?
35
00:03:28,702 --> 00:03:30,880
- I do wish they wouldn't do that.
- Aly.
36
00:03:31,006 --> 00:03:34,313
There's a cave one and there's an Army one
and there's one with no pants on...
37
00:03:34,438 --> 00:03:36,919
And a first from Cambridge.
38
00:03:37,045 --> 00:03:40,271
I know it may seem very real, but remember
what they said at the hospital, yeah?
39
00:03:40,396 --> 00:03:42,352
"May experience visual disturbances."
40
00:03:42,478 --> 00:03:43,725
But I can hear them too.
41
00:03:43,851 --> 00:03:47,002
And my Uncle Graeme, he thought he could smell
toast, but you know what? There was no toast.
42
00:03:47,128 --> 00:03:49,835
He was having a stroke.
He died, Mike.
43
00:03:49,961 --> 00:03:50,921
OK, bad example.
44
00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:53,383
I'm just saying, think about it,
what's more likely,
45
00:03:53,509 --> 00:03:56,916
that you can see ghosts, or that you're still
suffering from severe concussion?
46
00:03:57,041 --> 00:03:58,751
- Ghosts.
- Concussion.
47
00:03:59,576 --> 00:04:00,863
Exactly.
You don't just...
48
00:04:00,988 --> 00:04:02,837
Robin, you've been here a while.
49
00:04:02,963 --> 00:04:04,625
Have you ever seen
anything like this before?
50
00:04:04,733 --> 00:04:07,496
One time, yes.
But was a bear.
51
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:10,516
Bear was like, "Raargh."
and I'm like, "Argh."
52
00:04:10,642 --> 00:04:14,623
and then he like, "Ooh, hurr, hurr."
And I'm like...
53
00:04:14,771 --> 00:04:16,777
"Woo."
And the bear's like...
54
00:04:24,652 --> 00:04:25,897
You had to be there.
55
00:04:26,023 --> 00:04:27,528
- Rare, then.
- Or magic?
56
00:04:27,654 --> 00:04:31,141
- Black magic.
- Perhaps she's just special.
57
00:04:31,267 --> 00:04:32,554
Indeed she is.
58
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,390
And you'll be back to
your old self in no time.
59
00:04:34,515 --> 00:04:36,449
- Just give it a few days, yeah?
- OK.
60
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:40,938
OK?
Yep.
61
00:04:42,887 --> 00:04:45,234
So, Mike, what are you up to?
62
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,556
Well, I'm hooking up all the stuff
that we can't live without.
63
00:04:47,681 --> 00:04:49,578
So like heating and hot water and...
64
00:04:49,703 --> 00:04:51,677
But the boiler's next on the list.
65
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,086
After that.
66
00:04:54,219 --> 00:04:55,881
Are you sure you know what you're doing?
67
00:04:55,988 --> 00:04:58,505
No.
But Google does, so we're golden.
68
00:05:00,290 --> 00:05:02,953
That's quite the encyclopaedia.
69
00:05:03,079 --> 00:05:06,186
It's gotta be, what, two CD-ROMs, min.
70
00:05:06,312 --> 00:05:09,923
It's all under control here,
so why don't you go and relax?
71
00:05:10,049 --> 00:05:12,786
Have yourself a nice war...
tepid bath.
72
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,799
I'd like that.
73
00:05:14,924 --> 00:05:16,670
One of them just said what I said.
74
00:05:16,796 --> 00:05:20,180
See? It's all in your head.
Just give it a few days, yeah?
75
00:05:20,306 --> 00:05:21,908
Now go on...
Bath.
76
00:05:27,307 --> 00:05:28,996
Clearly, this changes things.
77
00:05:29,122 --> 00:05:30,863
By some quirk of fate, it would seem
78
00:05:30,988 --> 00:05:33,617
- the new Lady Button...
- She's no lady, and no Button.
79
00:05:33,743 --> 00:05:37,108
Well, whoever she is,
she can now both see and hear us,
80
00:05:37,234 --> 00:05:39,138
which opens up
some intriguing possibilities...
81
00:05:39,263 --> 00:05:42,007
chiefly the potential
for a full-frontal assault.
82
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,959
Order them to leave.
Face-to-face.
83
00:05:44,084 --> 00:05:45,323
Yes.
84
00:05:45,860 --> 00:05:51,243
Well, conversings with the dead be witchcraft.
People been burned at the stake for less.
85
00:05:51,369 --> 00:05:54,591
Except of course she isn't
truly conversing, is she?
86
00:05:54,717 --> 00:05:56,716
She may give ear to my overtures,
87
00:05:56,842 --> 00:05:59,750
but, alas, she is yet to respond
to any of us.
88
00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:01,478
- She spoke to me.
- What?
89
00:06:01,604 --> 00:06:03,511
- What? No, she did not.
- Did. Said...
90
00:06:05,161 --> 00:06:06,909
- I don't think that's a word, Robin.
- No.
91
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,998
'Tis.
I had cousin, that's all he said.
92
00:06:10,124 --> 00:06:13,260
She's not conversing because Mr Sledgehammer
up there has convinced her
93
00:06:13,386 --> 00:06:15,582
we are just figments of her imagination,
94
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,933
which is why we need a change of tactics.
95
00:06:18,059 --> 00:06:20,863
We work in shifts.
Campaign of attrition.
96
00:06:20,988 --> 00:06:22,034
Guerrilla war.
97
00:06:23,222 --> 00:06:24,650
Gorilla always win.
98
00:06:24,776 --> 00:06:27,382
Why is it always about war with you?
99
00:06:27,508 --> 00:06:31,254
- Well...
- What's wrong with a nice 'hello'?
100
00:06:31,380 --> 00:06:32,863
Maybe show them around.
101
00:06:32,988 --> 00:06:34,643
Then we could all sit down
and have a nice friendly chat
102
00:06:34,768 --> 00:06:37,384
- about this whole hotel business.
- It is nice to be friendly.
103
00:06:37,509 --> 00:06:40,451
- Ideally more than friendly.
- Befriended by you lot?
104
00:06:40,577 --> 00:06:43,665
I can't think of anything more annoying.
In fact, you know what?
105
00:06:43,791 --> 00:06:46,002
Do that.
Yeah, good plan.
106
00:06:46,128 --> 00:06:50,070
That'll send them running.
Perhaps I should handle the negotiations.
107
00:06:51,595 --> 00:06:55,796
Well, I did, after all,
resolve the Arabian crisis of '91.
108
00:06:55,884 --> 00:06:59,248
- What, you stopped a war?
- No, I stopped a crisis.
109
00:06:59,618 --> 00:07:02,744
By starting a war, as it happens,
but, you know, that's not the point.
110
00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:05,821
The point is, I was lead envoy
in the negotiations.
111
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:07,268
Utter toffee.
112
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:10,027
You couldn't negotiate your way
out of a corn maze.
113
00:07:10,153 --> 00:07:13,003
How dare you.
114
00:07:13,129 --> 00:07:15,792
I'm a respected politician and diplomat,
115
00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:18,067
and I will not have my credentials
called into question
116
00:07:18,192 --> 00:07:20,920
by some work-shy Bohemian.
117
00:07:21,046 --> 00:07:23,396
That treaty was my legacy.
118
00:07:25,986 --> 00:07:28,335
Yeah, very, very funny.
Fine.
119
00:07:28,461 --> 00:07:30,540
I'll prove it to you.
Yeah.
120
00:07:30,666 --> 00:07:32,606
Ho-ho.
You'll see.
121
00:07:39,386 --> 00:07:41,112
Imagine that slammed.
122
00:07:42,988 --> 00:07:47,488
♪ Daddy's gonna give it some DIY, DIY... ♪
123
00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:53,071
Right.
I'll show them.
124
00:08:08,224 --> 00:08:09,513
That's better.
125
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:13,486
No, no, no, no, no, that's worse.
This is awful.
126
00:08:13,612 --> 00:08:15,541
I shall write to the owners.
127
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,371
But where's my quill?
128
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,958
Maybe I left it downstairs.
129
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,433
Brick it up, you oaf.
130
00:08:22,559 --> 00:08:25,553
I refuse to spend eternity
in the company of a halfwit.
131
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:27,707
- I thought we were friends.
- Friends
132
00:08:27,833 --> 00:08:30,102
are peers and intellectual equals, Kitty.
133
00:08:30,228 --> 00:08:32,165
- We are neither.
- Fine.
134
00:08:32,330 --> 00:08:35,027
Then I'm not letting you go in my canoe.
135
00:08:35,543 --> 00:08:36,528
I just...
136
00:08:36,654 --> 00:08:38,245
Right, then.
137
00:08:38,534 --> 00:08:40,209
Old boiler.
138
00:08:46,988 --> 00:08:48,791
This'll learn those berks.
139
00:09:20,954 --> 00:09:22,863
There's nothing to be scared of.
140
00:09:26,122 --> 00:09:30,328
♪ Daddy gonna fix the boiler now... ♪
141
00:09:32,988 --> 00:09:36,440
♪ YouTube gonna show Daddy how... ♪
142
00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:50,618
Come on.
143
00:09:55,384 --> 00:09:56,862
It's not playing ball, is it?
144
00:09:59,988 --> 00:10:02,264
- What's he doing?
- No, Daddy.
145
00:10:02,389 --> 00:10:06,513
No, you need to prime the inlet
pump, open the induction loop,
146
00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:09,863
repressurise the system,
then connect the gas feed,
147
00:10:09,988 --> 00:10:12,620
- and then ignite the...
- Or just hit it with a hammer.
148
00:10:12,989 --> 00:10:14,415
Unbelievable.
149
00:10:14,541 --> 00:10:15,838
- Technophobe.
- Yeah.
150
00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:19,661
Right. It's going to take a
sustained assault to grind her down,
151
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,863
- so we'll take it in shifts.
- I'll go first. We have a connection.
152
00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:24,438
A frisson, if you will.
153
00:10:24,564 --> 00:10:26,724
Maybe I should go first.
Let her know the lay of the land.
154
00:10:26,849 --> 00:10:28,966
No.
This is a military campaign,
155
00:10:29,092 --> 00:10:32,203
and I'm not the sort to bring up the rear.
No, I'll go first.
156
00:10:33,126 --> 00:10:34,332
And then you, Pat,
157
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:35,863
and then Mary, and...
158
00:10:35,988 --> 00:10:38,048
Good heavens.
What on Earth is that?
159
00:10:38,174 --> 00:10:41,863
Now, that is the front bit
of a television.
160
00:10:41,988 --> 00:10:43,952
I don't know where the back bit is,
161
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:46,413
- but that's the front.
- Extraordinary.
162
00:10:46,539 --> 00:10:49,063
- Any luck with the boiler?
- Nah, not really.
163
00:10:49,189 --> 00:10:52,863
It's in a pretty bad way. Looks like
some idiot has taken a hammer to it.
164
00:10:52,988 --> 00:10:54,749
I'll have a look at it tomorrow.
165
00:10:54,875 --> 00:10:58,656
Connect this one to the one from the roof
166
00:10:58,782 --> 00:11:00,333
and we should...
167
00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:02,269
get a picture.
168
00:11:03,157 --> 00:11:06,289
Right.
Over the top we go.
169
00:11:15,201 --> 00:11:16,650
Now look here.
170
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,864
As a officer of His Majesty's Armed Forces...
171
00:11:19,989 --> 00:11:23,274
it is my duty to inform you that
you are considered an enemy insurgent
172
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:27,131
and you should surrender your territories
to incumbent forces with immediate effect...
173
00:11:27,256 --> 00:11:29,513
or face the prospect...
OK.
174
00:11:29,639 --> 00:11:31,608
Very good.
I see what you're doing.
175
00:11:32,715 --> 00:11:33,983
Two can play at that game.
176
00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:48,383
♪ I am the very model of a modern
Major-General I've information vegeta... ♪
177
00:11:51,797 --> 00:11:53,728
♪ ...ble, animal and mineral ♪
178
00:11:53,854 --> 00:11:56,139
♪ I know the kings of England
and I quote the fights historical ♪
179
00:11:56,264 --> 00:11:59,246
♪ From Marathon to Waterloo
in order categorical. ♪
180
00:11:59,656 --> 00:12:02,765
You can run, but you can't...
181
00:12:04,511 --> 00:12:06,073
Hello to you.
182
00:12:06,698 --> 00:12:08,863
Hello.
And welcome.
183
00:12:08,988 --> 00:12:11,700
On behalf of me and my fellow
dead people, may I just say...
184
00:12:11,826 --> 00:12:15,318
Straight onto the tour, OK.
On your left is the Master's chamber,
185
00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:18,539
or "chambre", that's French.
Wait.
186
00:12:19,211 --> 00:12:21,178
You beautiful girl.
187
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,677
_
188
00:12:33,902 --> 00:12:35,120
No.
189
00:12:35,246 --> 00:12:36,862
_
190
00:12:36,988 --> 00:12:39,603
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
191
00:12:39,821 --> 00:12:42,314
Up next, Hitler's Secret Superweapons.
192
00:12:42,455 --> 00:12:45,759
Good Chr... I mean, it's
Christmas, it's Christmas morning.
193
00:12:46,352 --> 00:12:47,636
Alison?
194
00:12:48,988 --> 00:12:50,188
Aly?
195
00:12:51,824 --> 00:12:54,040
What the bally hell
do you think you're doing, sir?
196
00:12:54,165 --> 00:12:57,501
What have you done with the tanks?
You turn that back on this instant...
197
00:12:58,673 --> 00:12:59,864
Where are you going?
198
00:12:59,989 --> 00:13:02,863
If you were dead,
I would thrash your bottom, sir.
199
00:13:02,988 --> 00:13:05,131
And there's been a settlement
on this site for well over...
200
00:13:05,256 --> 00:13:08,190
- A while now, although this part...
- You're not real.
201
00:13:08,316 --> 00:13:10,551
- Well, we're not alive, but we are...
- I can't hear you.
202
00:13:10,676 --> 00:13:12,699
- Well, clearly you can, because...
- No, I can't.
203
00:13:12,824 --> 00:13:15,864
- Well, it's just, you keep answering me...
- No, I don't.
204
00:13:16,522 --> 00:13:19,680
- My turn?
- Sorry, Tom, Captain said that Mary's next.
205
00:13:19,806 --> 00:13:22,792
- Get out my way, you soppy bit o' rag.
- Good luck.
206
00:13:22,918 --> 00:13:24,717
Although she's not much of a one
for chitchat.
207
00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:29,257
Don't you worries about me.
I've got something up my sleeves.
208
00:13:31,364 --> 00:13:33,863
Get out, get out, get out, get out,
209
00:13:33,988 --> 00:13:36,493
get out, get out, get out, get out,
210
00:13:36,619 --> 00:13:37,986
get out, get out, get out...
211
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,448
My...
212
00:13:47,419 --> 00:13:48,688
Classic.
213
00:13:49,988 --> 00:13:52,618
- Yes, to replace the boiler.
- So it needs amending. My entry.
214
00:13:52,743 --> 00:13:54,997
- To reflect my political achievements.
- What did you say, sorry?
215
00:13:55,122 --> 00:13:57,398
There's plenty who've done worse
than I did, believe you me.
216
00:13:57,523 --> 00:14:00,225
- My phone number...
- The MP for Watney got horses involved.
217
00:14:00,351 --> 00:14:01,997
- 0-7-9...
- Yeah, that's plural.
218
00:14:02,122 --> 00:14:04,863
- Horses. It was the shire ones as well.
- Sorry, 0-7...
219
00:14:04,996 --> 00:14:07,272
- You know, the ones with the flares?
- Can I call you back?
220
00:14:07,397 --> 00:14:10,451
A lady employs a knife AND fork.
221
00:14:10,592 --> 00:14:13,885
A lady pinches.
Whores use rouge.
222
00:14:14,011 --> 00:14:17,096
A lady does not hold a carrot like that.
223
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:22,363
A lady wouldn't tell me to do that to myself.
224
00:14:22,489 --> 00:14:24,863
Get out, get out, get out, get out,
225
00:14:24,988 --> 00:14:26,513
get out, get out, get out, get out,
226
00:14:26,638 --> 00:14:28,863
get out, get out, get out, get out,
227
00:14:28,988 --> 00:14:31,073
- get out, get out, get out...
- No better?
228
00:14:31,199 --> 00:14:33,217
get out, get out, get out, get out...
229
00:14:33,343 --> 00:14:35,625
Just give it till morning.
I'm sure it'll pass.
230
00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:39,254
get out, get out, get out, get out.
231
00:14:51,988 --> 00:14:54,035
♪ am the very model of
a modern Major-General ♪
232
00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,863
♪ I've information vegetable
animal and mineral ♪
233
00:14:56,988 --> 00:14:59,863
♪ I know the kings of England
and I quote the fights historical ♪
234
00:14:59,988 --> 00:15:03,863
♪ From Marathon to Waterloo
in order categorical. ♪
235
00:15:15,178 --> 00:15:16,777
God.
236
00:15:25,631 --> 00:15:27,629
I don't even feel the cold.
237
00:15:29,293 --> 00:15:31,707
- I am a strong, sane woman.
- He'd crafted it from a rubber glove
238
00:15:31,832 --> 00:15:34,864
- and was using the gravy as lubricant.
- Challenges only make me stronger.
239
00:15:34,989 --> 00:15:37,462
And you can imagine the jokes
about "the Chancellor's red box".
240
00:15:37,587 --> 00:15:40,154
And then there was this Liberal fellow,
well, you can imagine what he got up to.
241
00:15:40,279 --> 00:15:44,093
He was caught in a sailors' sauna, and
he was not there to learn about boats.
242
00:15:44,988 --> 00:15:46,737
Get out, get out, get out, get out.
243
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,229
Get out.
244
00:15:57,639 --> 00:15:58,876
Alone at last.
245
00:16:02,988 --> 00:16:04,282
- Alison.
- God.
246
00:16:04,408 --> 00:16:06,904
- A moment, please, I beg of you.
- You're in my head.
247
00:16:07,441 --> 00:16:09,506
And you in mine, my sweet.
248
00:16:09,632 --> 00:16:10,931
What are we doing?
249
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,863
You're married, I'm dead.
It can never work.
250
00:16:13,988 --> 00:16:15,656
Can it?
Maybe it can.
251
00:16:15,782 --> 00:16:19,427
Like Romeo And Juliet, but specifically
the bit where he's already dead
252
00:16:19,553 --> 00:16:21,863
and she kills herself to be with him?
253
00:16:22,989 --> 00:16:27,489
I am too bold. Forgive me.
Accurse my impetuous loins.
254
00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:31,207
You're not yet free of that
buffle-headed bobtail.
255
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,863
I'll wait for you, my comely nug.
256
00:16:33,988 --> 00:16:36,512
Though some idea of timescale would be...
257
00:16:36,638 --> 00:16:39,939
No, I understand,
this is all happening so fast.
258
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:41,771
I can wait.
259
00:16:43,810 --> 00:16:45,863
Lord knows I've had the practice.
260
00:16:46,634 --> 00:16:48,747
- Come on, man.
- I'm trying.
261
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,997
Well, try harder, man.
262
00:16:52,122 --> 00:16:55,161
You. I demand you reactivate this
device with immediate effect.
263
00:16:55,287 --> 00:16:57,552
- Any joy with the people from Goggle?
- Me again.
264
00:16:57,678 --> 00:17:00,668
Today I thought we could do halls
and common passageways.
265
00:17:00,794 --> 00:17:02,997
Get out, get out, get out, get out,
266
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,863
Darling. There you are.
267
00:17:04,988 --> 00:17:07,398
- Now, I know I said no pressure, but...
- None of it is real.
268
00:17:07,523 --> 00:17:08,863
None of it is real.
269
00:17:08,988 --> 00:17:10,714
A lady doesn't mumble.
270
00:17:12,989 --> 00:17:15,863
Don't suppose you've seen a body anywhere?
271
00:17:15,988 --> 00:17:17,188
Is that a no?
272
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,033
Will you be my friend?
273
00:17:41,252 --> 00:17:43,179
Do you think it's something we said?
274
00:17:44,337 --> 00:17:47,638
- And press the hilt of the venturi...
- What is a venturi?
275
00:17:47,764 --> 00:17:50,661
- into the domed brass union.
- What's a union?
276
00:17:53,408 --> 00:17:57,064
Don't panic.
It takes maybe ten, 20 seconds.
277
00:17:57,190 --> 00:17:58,672
That's good.
278
00:17:58,823 --> 00:18:00,960
That's bad.
279
00:18:01,086 --> 00:18:03,723
- Mike.
- Jesus, you scared me.
280
00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:07,123
It's no good, I need to go and get some...
Holy Mary Mother of God.
281
00:18:08,611 --> 00:18:10,132
- My God.
- What's wrong?
282
00:18:10,258 --> 00:18:12,863
"What's wrong"?
The room is full of zombies.
283
00:18:12,988 --> 00:18:14,692
Donkeys?
284
00:18:14,818 --> 00:18:16,264
Honey, I promise you it isn't.
285
00:18:16,389 --> 00:18:18,131
Then I have to go back to the
hospital and get some drugs
286
00:18:18,256 --> 00:18:20,154
or some therapy or a bang on the
other side of my head,
287
00:18:20,279 --> 00:18:21,863
or whatever it takes to stop me from
seeing the cast of
288
00:18:21,988 --> 00:18:23,863
The Night Of The Dead every single
time I walk into a room.
289
00:18:23,988 --> 00:18:26,512
It's Night Of The Living De...
Not now.
290
00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:28,447
I can't go on like this, OK?
291
00:18:28,573 --> 00:18:31,398
So you either drive me to the
hospital right now, or I drive myself.
292
00:18:31,523 --> 00:18:32,864
And I see things that aren't there.
293
00:18:32,989 --> 00:18:35,246
Well, we are.
I'll get my keys.
294
00:18:36,911 --> 00:18:38,195
Red lever.
295
00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:42,798
- Red lever.
- Red lever.
296
00:18:42,923 --> 00:18:44,398
- Red lever.
- Red lever.
297
00:18:47,416 --> 00:18:48,863
What now?
Aly?
298
00:18:48,988 --> 00:18:50,279
What's wrong?
299
00:18:51,790 --> 00:18:53,101
Red lever.
300
00:18:53,227 --> 00:18:54,439
Red lever?
301
00:18:55,989 --> 00:18:57,371
On it.
302
00:19:04,472 --> 00:19:06,347
What?
303
00:19:14,157 --> 00:19:16,366
- How did you know about the red...?
- Maybe we should go.
304
00:19:16,491 --> 00:19:17,864
Yeah, yeah, we're going.
305
00:19:17,989 --> 00:19:19,863
No, no, no, I mean away from here.
306
00:19:19,988 --> 00:19:21,762
Just move out.
It just doesn't feel right.
307
00:19:21,887 --> 00:19:23,562
What?
Why would you say that?
308
00:19:25,988 --> 00:19:27,205
It's hard to put my finger on.
309
00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:30,552
All right. Just one thing at a time, yeah?
We'll talk about this later.
310
00:19:31,192 --> 00:19:32,425
Electric windows.
311
00:19:32,551 --> 00:19:34,426
Get out of here.
312
00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:49,080
I say.
313
00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:50,990
Well, fascinating.
314
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,309
But you don't see them now, do you?
315
00:19:54,435 --> 00:19:56,310
Not since we left the house.
316
00:19:56,686 --> 00:19:58,751
Maybe I'm on the mend.
317
00:19:58,877 --> 00:20:00,614
Yes, I know how loans work.
318
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:02,264
- Sort of.
- As I've said before, sir...
319
00:20:02,389 --> 00:20:04,513
But surely if we just give you
the money back, then...
320
00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:07,010
- we cannot end the agreement now.
- Yes.
321
00:20:07,136 --> 00:20:08,800
- Do you see?
- Yes, I see.
322
00:20:08,926 --> 00:20:11,804
- Do you think it was related to the accident?
- Yes, undoubtedly.
323
00:20:11,929 --> 00:20:13,038
Good.
324
00:20:13,164 --> 00:20:16,864
So it should just stop happening, as I heal?
325
00:20:16,989 --> 00:20:20,325
Well, my diagnosis,
based on what you've told me,
326
00:20:20,451 --> 00:20:23,645
is that your accident left you
so close to death yourself,
327
00:20:23,771 --> 00:20:26,054
you're now able to see dead people.
328
00:20:26,289 --> 00:20:29,250
- What do you mean?
- Well, can you see me?
329
00:20:29,376 --> 00:20:30,997
- Yes.
- Exactly.
330
00:20:31,122 --> 00:20:32,917
I'm dead.
331
00:20:33,043 --> 00:20:35,042
So sorry to have kept you.
332
00:20:36,090 --> 00:20:38,089
She's very good.
333
00:20:40,309 --> 00:20:41,597
What can I do for you?
334
00:20:41,723 --> 00:20:44,863
- All right, listen to what I'm...
- Wait.
335
00:20:44,988 --> 00:20:46,760
The doctor's dead.
336
00:20:48,988 --> 00:20:50,352
I just...
337
00:20:51,221 --> 00:20:53,863
I don't understand. If it's come
back, why not accept the sedatives?
338
00:20:53,988 --> 00:20:56,314
- I mean, they might help with...
- Because...
339
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,593
back at the house
I see the same faces every day.
340
00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:02,532
But at the hospital,
completely different ones.
341
00:21:02,658 --> 00:21:04,863
Different places, different faces.
342
00:21:04,988 --> 00:21:07,366
- Why would my brain do that?
- OK, that is...
343
00:21:07,492 --> 00:21:10,606
It wouldn't.
Because they're not in here.
344
00:21:10,894 --> 00:21:12,094
They're out there.
345
00:21:32,695 --> 00:21:35,341
Right, we're selling up.
We'll buy a little new-build.
346
00:21:35,467 --> 00:21:38,715
One of those soulless little boxes
that I've always hated.
347
00:21:38,988 --> 00:21:43,466
One bed's fine. Just somewhere with
absolutely no past whatsoever.
348
00:21:44,180 --> 00:21:45,863
Right.
Yeah.
349
00:21:45,988 --> 00:21:47,298
It's just...
350
00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:49,549
OK, well...
351
00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:51,345
- I don't want you to get mad.
- Am I going to get mad?
352
00:21:51,470 --> 00:21:55,720
Yes. I spoke to the loan people and,
with the prepayment penalties and...
353
00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:59,863
Well, long story short, getting out now
354
00:21:59,988 --> 00:22:01,587
would probably bankrupt us.
355
00:22:01,713 --> 00:22:04,808
And I only added "probably"
to make it sound better.
356
00:22:04,988 --> 00:22:06,479
Didn't you read the contracts?
357
00:22:06,605 --> 00:22:08,387
I gave them what I'd call a lengthy skim.
358
00:22:08,513 --> 00:22:11,120
Mike, I could kill you.
359
00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:12,863
Ooh.
Good idea.
360
00:22:12,989 --> 00:22:15,035
Though maybe not here,
just because he might...
361
00:22:18,472 --> 00:22:19,740
Right.
362
00:22:20,597 --> 00:22:22,739
Well, there's only one thing for it,
isn't there?
363
00:22:25,738 --> 00:22:27,762
Fine.
I see you. OK?
364
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:29,665
I see Major-General Can't-Sing,
365
00:22:29,790 --> 00:22:31,781
I see Captain Cave-Prick, I see all of you.
366
00:22:31,907 --> 00:22:34,864
OK? You win.
Mission accomplished.
367
00:22:34,989 --> 00:22:38,612
I admit your existence.
Now what the hell do you want?
368
00:22:38,738 --> 00:22:41,595
- We want you out of this house.
- Yes, you do not belong here.
369
00:22:41,759 --> 00:22:43,076
Well, that's tough, isn't it?
370
00:22:43,202 --> 00:22:46,864
Because thanks to my resident
mortgage advisor, we're stuck here.
371
00:22:46,989 --> 00:22:50,108
- OK, you're officially freaking me out.
- So how about you leave?
372
00:22:50,234 --> 00:22:53,259
- We can't leave.
- You sort of just stays where you dies.
373
00:22:53,385 --> 00:22:55,436
And how you dies...
Died.
374
00:22:55,562 --> 00:22:57,062
It's your classic haunted house.
375
00:22:57,188 --> 00:22:59,461
- Er, Alison...
- Whoa. Right.
376
00:22:59,610 --> 00:23:02,068
So I can't go and you can't go.
So...
377
00:23:02,521 --> 00:23:06,704
what will it take to get you all
just out of my face?
378
00:23:07,422 --> 00:23:09,404
What do you want?
What do you actually want?
379
00:23:09,530 --> 00:23:11,063
Specifically.
You?
380
00:23:12,404 --> 00:23:14,530
Right.
I'll tell you what we want.
381
00:23:14,656 --> 00:23:16,452
We demand that...
382
00:23:17,786 --> 00:23:19,566
One hour a week of the thing about tanks
383
00:23:19,692 --> 00:23:21,632
and anything on superweapons, please?
Thank you.
384
00:23:21,757 --> 00:23:23,871
- Done. Next.
- It feels like I should call someone?
385
00:23:23,988 --> 00:23:26,656
Who you gonna call?
You, Sourpuss.
386
00:23:26,782 --> 00:23:30,528
Remove my husband's portrait,
and fill the hole in my wall.
387
00:23:30,654 --> 00:23:33,472
- Done. You?
- Divorce him, kill yourself, marry me.
388
00:23:33,598 --> 00:23:34,749
- No.
- To which bit?
389
00:23:34,875 --> 00:23:37,228
- You?
- I just wanted to say hello..
390
00:23:37,384 --> 00:23:38,908
- Hello.
- Hello.
391
00:23:39,034 --> 00:23:41,863
And on behalf of myself
and my fellow ghosts...
392
00:23:41,988 --> 00:23:44,863
Listen.
I want those slanderous beggars at Goggle
393
00:23:44,988 --> 00:23:47,863
to amend my entry for the next edition.
I am a respectable...
394
00:23:47,988 --> 00:23:49,864
It doesn't work like that, it's the internet.
395
00:23:49,989 --> 00:23:51,997
Right.
And where are they based?
396
00:23:52,122 --> 00:23:55,749
It's everywhere. In every house in
the country, in the world.
397
00:23:55,875 --> 00:23:59,863
You mean every person on the planet
just thinks of me as the weirdo MP
398
00:23:59,988 --> 00:24:01,863
who died in some sex scandal?
399
00:24:01,988 --> 00:24:04,562
- That was you?
- What? No.
400
00:24:04,988 --> 00:24:07,774
I don't want anything, actually.
Who's next?
401
00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:10,159
Renounce Satan, witch.
402
00:24:10,285 --> 00:24:11,994
Um... OK.
403
00:24:12,237 --> 00:24:14,863
Yeah, yeah, that's probably done it.
404
00:24:15,232 --> 00:24:18,552
And what about you, Budget Tarzan?
405
00:24:18,678 --> 00:24:19,864
What do you want?
406
00:24:19,989 --> 00:24:22,066
- Nuffin', thanks.
- Nothing?
407
00:24:23,113 --> 00:24:24,752
So you just spent...
408
00:24:25,462 --> 00:24:27,434
So you just spent the last three days
409
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:31,637
hiding in every little tiny little
dark corner in this entire house,
410
00:24:31,763 --> 00:24:34,345
scaring me out of my mind,
411
00:24:34,471 --> 00:24:35,916
for no reason?
412
00:24:36,408 --> 00:24:37,863
Well, it was something to do.
413
00:24:37,988 --> 00:24:39,775
My turn.
I think we've got a lot in common.
414
00:24:39,900 --> 00:24:41,863
OK, so I've just googled "psychotic break"
415
00:24:41,988 --> 00:24:44,657
and I'm not saying that this is one,
but there is an article
416
00:24:44,783 --> 00:24:45,862
that I think you should have a...
417
00:24:45,988 --> 00:24:47,737
Mike, this isn't...
Can you just come with me?
418
00:24:47,862 --> 00:24:49,502
All of you.
419
00:24:49,628 --> 00:24:52,479
- Where are you going?
- To shut you all up.
420
00:24:52,605 --> 00:24:55,296
Horsey to go dooka-dakka-deeko.
421
00:24:55,831 --> 00:24:57,496
Dooka-dakka-deeko.
422
00:24:58,607 --> 00:24:59,987
OK, you go.
423
00:25:00,113 --> 00:25:02,131
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
424
00:25:02,256 --> 00:25:03,903
Even more softly.
425
00:25:05,523 --> 00:25:06,863
When's our sleepover again?
426
00:25:06,988 --> 00:25:08,721
- Eighth of March.
- And what is it now?
427
00:25:08,846 --> 00:25:11,114
- June.
- So exciting.
428
00:25:12,643 --> 00:25:13,983
How long's this on for?
429
00:25:14,109 --> 00:25:16,097
I need to contact this Vicky Pedia.
430
00:25:23,378 --> 00:25:24,913
Er, well played.
431
00:25:25,039 --> 00:25:28,487
Perhaps there is some Button blood
in those veins after all.
432
00:25:28,988 --> 00:25:29,864
Yeah.
433
00:25:29,989 --> 00:25:32,863
Well, I'm not sure I buy all this,
but I've moved the painting.
434
00:25:32,988 --> 00:25:33,997
And bricked up the hole?
435
00:25:34,122 --> 00:25:36,759
Yeah, I filled the hole.
436
00:25:40,865 --> 00:25:42,947
This will not stand.
437
00:25:44,656 --> 00:25:46,299
Well, you seem happier.
438
00:25:47,049 --> 00:25:49,703
The good news is I'm not mad.
439
00:25:49,829 --> 00:25:51,996
That's a relief.
What's the bad news?
440
00:25:57,323 --> 00:25:58,616
They are.
441
00:26:13,855 --> 00:26:17,169
- Alison.
- Turn the right-hand dial horizontal.
442
00:26:18,989 --> 00:26:20,988
And press the ignition.
443
00:26:23,870 --> 00:26:25,070
OK.
444
00:26:26,256 --> 00:26:28,863
I believe you.
And, er...
445
00:26:29,558 --> 00:26:31,780
- thank you?
- They say you're welcome.
446
00:26:31,906 --> 00:26:34,901
"They"?
You mean there's two of them?
447
00:26:38,886 --> 00:26:40,086
Yes.
448
00:26:40,212 --> 00:26:44,812
Synced & corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com
34553
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