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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:14,659 _ 2 00:00:59,243 --> 00:01:00,877 Agh. 3 00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:08,702 Testing. 4 00:01:13,988 --> 00:01:17,779 Well, that seems pretty conclusive. She can also hear us. 5 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:39,980 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 6 00:01:46,494 --> 00:01:47,863 Clear. 7 00:01:47,988 --> 00:01:50,765 This room gonna get some DIY. 8 00:01:51,574 --> 00:01:53,974 What is this impudence? 9 00:01:55,848 --> 00:01:58,557 This is my room, do you hear me? My room. 10 00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:02,515 What sort of heathen just barges in on a lady while she's sleeping? 11 00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:07,029 What on earth is going on? 12 00:02:07,646 --> 00:02:09,863 ♪ Daddy gonna drill a hole in the wall... ♪ 13 00:02:09,988 --> 00:02:11,863 Daddy is not drilling any holes in any... 14 00:02:14,705 --> 00:02:16,487 This is beyond the pale. 15 00:02:16,613 --> 00:02:17,997 No. What are you do...? 16 00:02:22,551 --> 00:02:25,863 You have got to be joking. 17 00:02:25,988 --> 00:02:28,263 - Mike. - Er... 18 00:02:28,869 --> 00:02:30,863 This looks fun. 19 00:02:30,988 --> 00:02:33,760 I'm going to call it the smile hole. 20 00:02:33,886 --> 00:02:37,246 - Hello, Lady Button. Morning. - Mike. 21 00:02:37,372 --> 00:02:40,676 No, no, no. You can't just leave it like this. Where are you going? You can't just... 22 00:02:40,801 --> 00:02:43,585 So, what's your favourite morning song? I think mine is... 23 00:02:43,711 --> 00:02:47,865 ♪ There's a lark in the bushel at the corner of the... ♪ 24 00:02:49,787 --> 00:02:52,129 - Mike. - Er... 25 00:02:55,956 --> 00:02:57,264 - They're back. - Who? 26 00:02:57,389 --> 00:02:58,988 Them. 27 00:03:00,256 --> 00:03:01,522 Er... 28 00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:05,965 Don't shriek, you ill-bred hen. It is unseemly for a lady to... 29 00:03:06,813 --> 00:03:11,222 Him. Cover that up at once. You beastly wretch. 30 00:03:11,348 --> 00:03:15,733 I refuse to be taunted in my own home by that lying, cheating... 31 00:03:15,859 --> 00:03:17,904 Ex-husband. You know how it is. 32 00:03:18,735 --> 00:03:21,264 - We're the same height. - Do you need a tea? 33 00:03:21,389 --> 00:03:22,913 Lady coming through. 34 00:03:23,039 --> 00:03:24,443 What's your favourite colour? 35 00:03:28,702 --> 00:03:30,880 - I do wish they wouldn't do that. - Aly. 36 00:03:31,006 --> 00:03:34,313 There's a cave one and there's an Army one and there's one with no pants on... 37 00:03:34,438 --> 00:03:36,919 And a first from Cambridge. 38 00:03:37,045 --> 00:03:40,271 I know it may seem very real, but remember what they said at the hospital, yeah? 39 00:03:40,396 --> 00:03:42,352 "May experience visual disturbances." 40 00:03:42,478 --> 00:03:43,725 But I can hear them too. 41 00:03:43,851 --> 00:03:47,002 And my Uncle Graeme, he thought he could smell toast, but you know what? There was no toast. 42 00:03:47,128 --> 00:03:49,835 He was having a stroke. He died, Mike. 43 00:03:49,961 --> 00:03:50,921 OK, bad example. 44 00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:53,383 I'm just saying, think about it, what's more likely, 45 00:03:53,509 --> 00:03:56,916 that you can see ghosts, or that you're still suffering from severe concussion? 46 00:03:57,041 --> 00:03:58,751 - Ghosts. - Concussion. 47 00:03:59,576 --> 00:04:00,863 Exactly. You don't just... 48 00:04:00,988 --> 00:04:02,837 Robin, you've been here a while. 49 00:04:02,963 --> 00:04:04,625 Have you ever seen anything like this before? 50 00:04:04,733 --> 00:04:07,496 One time, yes. But was a bear. 51 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:10,516 Bear was like, "Raargh." and I'm like, "Argh." 52 00:04:10,642 --> 00:04:14,623 and then he like, "Ooh, hurr, hurr." And I'm like... 53 00:04:14,771 --> 00:04:16,777 "Woo." And the bear's like... 54 00:04:24,652 --> 00:04:25,897 You had to be there. 55 00:04:26,023 --> 00:04:27,528 - Rare, then. - Or magic? 56 00:04:27,654 --> 00:04:31,141 - Black magic. - Perhaps she's just special. 57 00:04:31,267 --> 00:04:32,554 Indeed she is. 58 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,390 And you'll be back to your old self in no time. 59 00:04:34,515 --> 00:04:36,449 - Just give it a few days, yeah? - OK. 60 00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:40,938 OK? Yep. 61 00:04:42,887 --> 00:04:45,234 So, Mike, what are you up to? 62 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,556 Well, I'm hooking up all the stuff that we can't live without. 63 00:04:47,681 --> 00:04:49,578 So like heating and hot water and... 64 00:04:49,703 --> 00:04:51,677 But the boiler's next on the list. 65 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,086 After that. 66 00:04:54,219 --> 00:04:55,881 Are you sure you know what you're doing? 67 00:04:55,988 --> 00:04:58,505 No. But Google does, so we're golden. 68 00:05:00,290 --> 00:05:02,953 That's quite the encyclopaedia. 69 00:05:03,079 --> 00:05:06,186 It's gotta be, what, two CD-ROMs, min. 70 00:05:06,312 --> 00:05:09,923 It's all under control here, so why don't you go and relax? 71 00:05:10,049 --> 00:05:12,786 Have yourself a nice war... tepid bath. 72 00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,799 I'd like that. 73 00:05:14,924 --> 00:05:16,670 One of them just said what I said. 74 00:05:16,796 --> 00:05:20,180 See? It's all in your head. Just give it a few days, yeah? 75 00:05:20,306 --> 00:05:21,908 Now go on... Bath. 76 00:05:27,307 --> 00:05:28,996 Clearly, this changes things. 77 00:05:29,122 --> 00:05:30,863 By some quirk of fate, it would seem 78 00:05:30,988 --> 00:05:33,617 - the new Lady Button... - She's no lady, and no Button. 79 00:05:33,743 --> 00:05:37,108 Well, whoever she is, she can now both see and hear us, 80 00:05:37,234 --> 00:05:39,138 which opens up some intriguing possibilities... 81 00:05:39,263 --> 00:05:42,007 chiefly the potential for a full-frontal assault. 82 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,959 Order them to leave. Face-to-face. 83 00:05:44,084 --> 00:05:45,323 Yes. 84 00:05:45,860 --> 00:05:51,243 Well, conversings with the dead be witchcraft. People been burned at the stake for less. 85 00:05:51,369 --> 00:05:54,591 Except of course she isn't truly conversing, is she? 86 00:05:54,717 --> 00:05:56,716 She may give ear to my overtures, 87 00:05:56,842 --> 00:05:59,750 but, alas, she is yet to respond to any of us. 88 00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:01,478 - She spoke to me. - What? 89 00:06:01,604 --> 00:06:03,511 - What? No, she did not. - Did. Said... 90 00:06:05,161 --> 00:06:06,909 - I don't think that's a word, Robin. - No. 91 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,998 'Tis. I had cousin, that's all he said. 92 00:06:10,124 --> 00:06:13,260 She's not conversing because Mr Sledgehammer up there has convinced her 93 00:06:13,386 --> 00:06:15,582 we are just figments of her imagination, 94 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:17,933 which is why we need a change of tactics. 95 00:06:18,059 --> 00:06:20,863 We work in shifts. Campaign of attrition. 96 00:06:20,988 --> 00:06:22,034 Guerrilla war. 97 00:06:23,222 --> 00:06:24,650 Gorilla always win. 98 00:06:24,776 --> 00:06:27,382 Why is it always about war with you? 99 00:06:27,508 --> 00:06:31,254 - Well... - What's wrong with a nice 'hello'? 100 00:06:31,380 --> 00:06:32,863 Maybe show them around. 101 00:06:32,988 --> 00:06:34,643 Then we could all sit down and have a nice friendly chat 102 00:06:34,768 --> 00:06:37,384 - about this whole hotel business. - It is nice to be friendly. 103 00:06:37,509 --> 00:06:40,451 - Ideally more than friendly. - Befriended by you lot? 104 00:06:40,577 --> 00:06:43,665 I can't think of anything more annoying. In fact, you know what? 105 00:06:43,791 --> 00:06:46,002 Do that. Yeah, good plan. 106 00:06:46,128 --> 00:06:50,070 That'll send them running. Perhaps I should handle the negotiations. 107 00:06:51,595 --> 00:06:55,796 Well, I did, after all, resolve the Arabian crisis of '91. 108 00:06:55,884 --> 00:06:59,248 - What, you stopped a war? - No, I stopped a crisis. 109 00:06:59,618 --> 00:07:02,744 By starting a war, as it happens, but, you know, that's not the point. 110 00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:05,821 The point is, I was lead envoy in the negotiations. 111 00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:07,268 Utter toffee. 112 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:10,027 You couldn't negotiate your way out of a corn maze. 113 00:07:10,153 --> 00:07:13,003 How dare you. 114 00:07:13,129 --> 00:07:15,792 I'm a respected politician and diplomat, 115 00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:18,067 and I will not have my credentials called into question 116 00:07:18,192 --> 00:07:20,920 by some work-shy Bohemian. 117 00:07:21,046 --> 00:07:23,396 That treaty was my legacy. 118 00:07:25,986 --> 00:07:28,335 Yeah, very, very funny. Fine. 119 00:07:28,461 --> 00:07:30,540 I'll prove it to you. Yeah. 120 00:07:30,666 --> 00:07:32,606 Ho-ho. You'll see. 121 00:07:39,386 --> 00:07:41,112 Imagine that slammed. 122 00:07:42,988 --> 00:07:47,488 ♪ Daddy's gonna give it some DIY, DIY... ♪ 123 00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:53,071 Right. I'll show them. 124 00:08:08,224 --> 00:08:09,513 That's better. 125 00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:13,486 No, no, no, no, no, that's worse. This is awful. 126 00:08:13,612 --> 00:08:15,541 I shall write to the owners. 127 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,371 But where's my quill? 128 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,958 Maybe I left it downstairs. 129 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,433 Brick it up, you oaf. 130 00:08:22,559 --> 00:08:25,553 I refuse to spend eternity in the company of a halfwit. 131 00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:27,707 - I thought we were friends. - Friends 132 00:08:27,833 --> 00:08:30,102 are peers and intellectual equals, Kitty. 133 00:08:30,228 --> 00:08:32,165 - We are neither. - Fine. 134 00:08:32,330 --> 00:08:35,027 Then I'm not letting you go in my canoe. 135 00:08:35,543 --> 00:08:36,528 I just... 136 00:08:36,654 --> 00:08:38,245 Right, then. 137 00:08:38,534 --> 00:08:40,209 Old boiler. 138 00:08:46,988 --> 00:08:48,791 This'll learn those berks. 139 00:09:20,954 --> 00:09:22,863 There's nothing to be scared of. 140 00:09:26,122 --> 00:09:30,328 ♪ Daddy gonna fix the boiler now... ♪ 141 00:09:32,988 --> 00:09:36,440 ♪ YouTube gonna show Daddy how... ♪ 142 00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:50,618 Come on. 143 00:09:55,384 --> 00:09:56,862 It's not playing ball, is it? 144 00:09:59,988 --> 00:10:02,264 - What's he doing? - No, Daddy. 145 00:10:02,389 --> 00:10:06,513 No, you need to prime the inlet pump, open the induction loop, 146 00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:09,863 repressurise the system, then connect the gas feed, 147 00:10:09,988 --> 00:10:12,620 - and then ignite the... - Or just hit it with a hammer. 148 00:10:12,989 --> 00:10:14,415 Unbelievable. 149 00:10:14,541 --> 00:10:15,838 - Technophobe. - Yeah. 150 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:19,661 Right. It's going to take a sustained assault to grind her down, 151 00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,863 - so we'll take it in shifts. - I'll go first. We have a connection. 152 00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:24,438 A frisson, if you will. 153 00:10:24,564 --> 00:10:26,724 Maybe I should go first. Let her know the lay of the land. 154 00:10:26,849 --> 00:10:28,966 No. This is a military campaign, 155 00:10:29,092 --> 00:10:32,203 and I'm not the sort to bring up the rear. No, I'll go first. 156 00:10:33,126 --> 00:10:34,332 And then you, Pat, 157 00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:35,863 and then Mary, and... 158 00:10:35,988 --> 00:10:38,048 Good heavens. What on Earth is that? 159 00:10:38,174 --> 00:10:41,863 Now, that is the front bit of a television. 160 00:10:41,988 --> 00:10:43,952 I don't know where the back bit is, 161 00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:46,413 - but that's the front. - Extraordinary. 162 00:10:46,539 --> 00:10:49,063 - Any luck with the boiler? - Nah, not really. 163 00:10:49,189 --> 00:10:52,863 It's in a pretty bad way. Looks like some idiot has taken a hammer to it. 164 00:10:52,988 --> 00:10:54,749 I'll have a look at it tomorrow. 165 00:10:54,875 --> 00:10:58,656 Connect this one to the one from the roof 166 00:10:58,782 --> 00:11:00,333 and we should... 167 00:11:00,459 --> 00:11:02,269 get a picture. 168 00:11:03,157 --> 00:11:06,289 Right. Over the top we go. 169 00:11:15,201 --> 00:11:16,650 Now look here. 170 00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,864 As a officer of His Majesty's Armed Forces... 171 00:11:19,989 --> 00:11:23,274 it is my duty to inform you that you are considered an enemy insurgent 172 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:27,131 and you should surrender your territories to incumbent forces with immediate effect... 173 00:11:27,256 --> 00:11:29,513 or face the prospect... OK. 174 00:11:29,639 --> 00:11:31,608 Very good. I see what you're doing. 175 00:11:32,715 --> 00:11:33,983 Two can play at that game. 176 00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:48,383 ♪ I am the very model of a modern Major-General I've information vegeta... ♪ 177 00:11:51,797 --> 00:11:53,728 ♪ ...ble, animal and mineral ♪ 178 00:11:53,854 --> 00:11:56,139 ♪ I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical ♪ 179 00:11:56,264 --> 00:11:59,246 ♪ From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical. ♪ 180 00:11:59,656 --> 00:12:02,765 You can run, but you can't... 181 00:12:04,511 --> 00:12:06,073 Hello to you. 182 00:12:06,698 --> 00:12:08,863 Hello. And welcome. 183 00:12:08,988 --> 00:12:11,700 On behalf of me and my fellow dead people, may I just say... 184 00:12:11,826 --> 00:12:15,318 Straight onto the tour, OK. On your left is the Master's chamber, 185 00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:18,539 or "chambre", that's French. Wait. 186 00:12:19,211 --> 00:12:21,178 You beautiful girl. 187 00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,677 _ 188 00:12:33,902 --> 00:12:35,120 No. 189 00:12:35,246 --> 00:12:36,862 _ 190 00:12:36,988 --> 00:12:39,603 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 191 00:12:39,821 --> 00:12:42,314 Up next, Hitler's Secret Superweapons. 192 00:12:42,455 --> 00:12:45,759 Good Chr... I mean, it's Christmas, it's Christmas morning. 193 00:12:46,352 --> 00:12:47,636 Alison? 194 00:12:48,988 --> 00:12:50,188 Aly? 195 00:12:51,824 --> 00:12:54,040 What the bally hell do you think you're doing, sir? 196 00:12:54,165 --> 00:12:57,501 What have you done with the tanks? You turn that back on this instant... 197 00:12:58,673 --> 00:12:59,864 Where are you going? 198 00:12:59,989 --> 00:13:02,863 If you were dead, I would thrash your bottom, sir. 199 00:13:02,988 --> 00:13:05,131 And there's been a settlement on this site for well over... 200 00:13:05,256 --> 00:13:08,190 - A while now, although this part... - You're not real. 201 00:13:08,316 --> 00:13:10,551 - Well, we're not alive, but we are... - I can't hear you. 202 00:13:10,676 --> 00:13:12,699 - Well, clearly you can, because... - No, I can't. 203 00:13:12,824 --> 00:13:15,864 - Well, it's just, you keep answering me... - No, I don't. 204 00:13:16,522 --> 00:13:19,680 - My turn? - Sorry, Tom, Captain said that Mary's next. 205 00:13:19,806 --> 00:13:22,792 - Get out my way, you soppy bit o' rag. - Good luck. 206 00:13:22,918 --> 00:13:24,717 Although she's not much of a one for chitchat. 207 00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:29,257 Don't you worries about me. I've got something up my sleeves. 208 00:13:31,364 --> 00:13:33,863 Get out, get out, get out, get out, 209 00:13:33,988 --> 00:13:36,493 get out, get out, get out, get out, 210 00:13:36,619 --> 00:13:37,986 get out, get out, get out... 211 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,448 My... 212 00:13:47,419 --> 00:13:48,688 Classic. 213 00:13:49,988 --> 00:13:52,618 - Yes, to replace the boiler. - So it needs amending. My entry. 214 00:13:52,743 --> 00:13:54,997 - To reflect my political achievements. - What did you say, sorry? 215 00:13:55,122 --> 00:13:57,398 There's plenty who've done worse than I did, believe you me. 216 00:13:57,523 --> 00:14:00,225 - My phone number... - The MP for Watney got horses involved. 217 00:14:00,351 --> 00:14:01,997 - 0-7-9... - Yeah, that's plural. 218 00:14:02,122 --> 00:14:04,863 - Horses. It was the shire ones as well. - Sorry, 0-7... 219 00:14:04,996 --> 00:14:07,272 - You know, the ones with the flares? - Can I call you back? 220 00:14:07,397 --> 00:14:10,451 A lady employs a knife AND fork. 221 00:14:10,592 --> 00:14:13,885 A lady pinches. Whores use rouge. 222 00:14:14,011 --> 00:14:17,096 A lady does not hold a carrot like that. 223 00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:22,363 A lady wouldn't tell me to do that to myself. 224 00:14:22,489 --> 00:14:24,863 Get out, get out, get out, get out, 225 00:14:24,988 --> 00:14:26,513 get out, get out, get out, get out, 226 00:14:26,638 --> 00:14:28,863 get out, get out, get out, get out, 227 00:14:28,988 --> 00:14:31,073 - get out, get out, get out... - No better? 228 00:14:31,199 --> 00:14:33,217 get out, get out, get out, get out... 229 00:14:33,343 --> 00:14:35,625 Just give it till morning. I'm sure it'll pass. 230 00:14:35,751 --> 00:14:39,254 get out, get out, get out, get out. 231 00:14:51,988 --> 00:14:54,035 ♪ am the very model of a modern Major-General ♪ 232 00:14:54,161 --> 00:14:56,863 ♪ I've information vegetable animal and mineral ♪ 233 00:14:56,988 --> 00:14:59,863 ♪ I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical ♪ 234 00:14:59,988 --> 00:15:03,863 ♪ From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical. ♪ 235 00:15:15,178 --> 00:15:16,777 God. 236 00:15:25,631 --> 00:15:27,629 I don't even feel the cold. 237 00:15:29,293 --> 00:15:31,707 - I am a strong, sane woman. - He'd crafted it from a rubber glove 238 00:15:31,832 --> 00:15:34,864 - and was using the gravy as lubricant. - Challenges only make me stronger. 239 00:15:34,989 --> 00:15:37,462 And you can imagine the jokes about "the Chancellor's red box". 240 00:15:37,587 --> 00:15:40,154 And then there was this Liberal fellow, well, you can imagine what he got up to. 241 00:15:40,279 --> 00:15:44,093 He was caught in a sailors' sauna, and he was not there to learn about boats. 242 00:15:44,988 --> 00:15:46,737 Get out, get out, get out, get out. 243 00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,229 Get out. 244 00:15:57,639 --> 00:15:58,876 Alone at last. 245 00:16:02,988 --> 00:16:04,282 - Alison. - God. 246 00:16:04,408 --> 00:16:06,904 - A moment, please, I beg of you. - You're in my head. 247 00:16:07,441 --> 00:16:09,506 And you in mine, my sweet. 248 00:16:09,632 --> 00:16:10,931 What are we doing? 249 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,863 You're married, I'm dead. It can never work. 250 00:16:13,988 --> 00:16:15,656 Can it? Maybe it can. 251 00:16:15,782 --> 00:16:19,427 Like Romeo And Juliet, but specifically the bit where he's already dead 252 00:16:19,553 --> 00:16:21,863 and she kills herself to be with him? 253 00:16:22,989 --> 00:16:27,489 I am too bold. Forgive me. Accurse my impetuous loins. 254 00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:31,207 You're not yet free of that buffle-headed bobtail. 255 00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,863 I'll wait for you, my comely nug. 256 00:16:33,988 --> 00:16:36,512 Though some idea of timescale would be... 257 00:16:36,638 --> 00:16:39,939 No, I understand, this is all happening so fast. 258 00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:41,771 I can wait. 259 00:16:43,810 --> 00:16:45,863 Lord knows I've had the practice. 260 00:16:46,634 --> 00:16:48,747 - Come on, man. - I'm trying. 261 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,997 Well, try harder, man. 262 00:16:52,122 --> 00:16:55,161 You. I demand you reactivate this device with immediate effect. 263 00:16:55,287 --> 00:16:57,552 - Any joy with the people from Goggle? - Me again. 264 00:16:57,678 --> 00:17:00,668 Today I thought we could do halls and common passageways. 265 00:17:00,794 --> 00:17:02,997 Get out, get out, get out, get out, 266 00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,863 Darling. There you are. 267 00:17:04,988 --> 00:17:07,398 - Now, I know I said no pressure, but... - None of it is real. 268 00:17:07,523 --> 00:17:08,863 None of it is real. 269 00:17:08,988 --> 00:17:10,714 A lady doesn't mumble. 270 00:17:12,989 --> 00:17:15,863 Don't suppose you've seen a body anywhere? 271 00:17:15,988 --> 00:17:17,188 Is that a no? 272 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,033 Will you be my friend? 273 00:17:41,252 --> 00:17:43,179 Do you think it's something we said? 274 00:17:44,337 --> 00:17:47,638 - And press the hilt of the venturi... - What is a venturi? 275 00:17:47,764 --> 00:17:50,661 - into the domed brass union. - What's a union? 276 00:17:53,408 --> 00:17:57,064 Don't panic. It takes maybe ten, 20 seconds. 277 00:17:57,190 --> 00:17:58,672 That's good. 278 00:17:58,823 --> 00:18:00,960 That's bad. 279 00:18:01,086 --> 00:18:03,723 - Mike. - Jesus, you scared me. 280 00:18:03,849 --> 00:18:07,123 It's no good, I need to go and get some... Holy Mary Mother of God. 281 00:18:08,611 --> 00:18:10,132 - My God. - What's wrong? 282 00:18:10,258 --> 00:18:12,863 "What's wrong"? The room is full of zombies. 283 00:18:12,988 --> 00:18:14,692 Donkeys? 284 00:18:14,818 --> 00:18:16,264 Honey, I promise you it isn't. 285 00:18:16,389 --> 00:18:18,131 Then I have to go back to the hospital and get some drugs 286 00:18:18,256 --> 00:18:20,154 or some therapy or a bang on the other side of my head, 287 00:18:20,279 --> 00:18:21,863 or whatever it takes to stop me from seeing the cast of 288 00:18:21,988 --> 00:18:23,863 The Night Of The Dead every single time I walk into a room. 289 00:18:23,988 --> 00:18:26,512 It's Night Of The Living De... Not now. 290 00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:28,447 I can't go on like this, OK? 291 00:18:28,573 --> 00:18:31,398 So you either drive me to the hospital right now, or I drive myself. 292 00:18:31,523 --> 00:18:32,864 And I see things that aren't there. 293 00:18:32,989 --> 00:18:35,246 Well, we are. I'll get my keys. 294 00:18:36,911 --> 00:18:38,195 Red lever. 295 00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:42,798 - Red lever. - Red lever. 296 00:18:42,923 --> 00:18:44,398 - Red lever. - Red lever. 297 00:18:47,416 --> 00:18:48,863 What now? Aly? 298 00:18:48,988 --> 00:18:50,279 What's wrong? 299 00:18:51,790 --> 00:18:53,101 Red lever. 300 00:18:53,227 --> 00:18:54,439 Red lever? 301 00:18:55,989 --> 00:18:57,371 On it. 302 00:19:04,472 --> 00:19:06,347 What? 303 00:19:14,157 --> 00:19:16,366 - How did you know about the red...? - Maybe we should go. 304 00:19:16,491 --> 00:19:17,864 Yeah, yeah, we're going. 305 00:19:17,989 --> 00:19:19,863 No, no, no, I mean away from here. 306 00:19:19,988 --> 00:19:21,762 Just move out. It just doesn't feel right. 307 00:19:21,887 --> 00:19:23,562 What? Why would you say that? 308 00:19:25,988 --> 00:19:27,205 It's hard to put my finger on. 309 00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:30,552 All right. Just one thing at a time, yeah? We'll talk about this later. 310 00:19:31,192 --> 00:19:32,425 Electric windows. 311 00:19:32,551 --> 00:19:34,426 Get out of here. 312 00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:49,080 I say. 313 00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:50,990 Well, fascinating. 314 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,309 But you don't see them now, do you? 315 00:19:54,435 --> 00:19:56,310 Not since we left the house. 316 00:19:56,686 --> 00:19:58,751 Maybe I'm on the mend. 317 00:19:58,877 --> 00:20:00,614 Yes, I know how loans work. 318 00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:02,264 - Sort of. - As I've said before, sir... 319 00:20:02,389 --> 00:20:04,513 But surely if we just give you the money back, then... 320 00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:07,010 - we cannot end the agreement now. - Yes. 321 00:20:07,136 --> 00:20:08,800 - Do you see? - Yes, I see. 322 00:20:08,926 --> 00:20:11,804 - Do you think it was related to the accident? - Yes, undoubtedly. 323 00:20:11,929 --> 00:20:13,038 Good. 324 00:20:13,164 --> 00:20:16,864 So it should just stop happening, as I heal? 325 00:20:16,989 --> 00:20:20,325 Well, my diagnosis, based on what you've told me, 326 00:20:20,451 --> 00:20:23,645 is that your accident left you so close to death yourself, 327 00:20:23,771 --> 00:20:26,054 you're now able to see dead people. 328 00:20:26,289 --> 00:20:29,250 - What do you mean? - Well, can you see me? 329 00:20:29,376 --> 00:20:30,997 - Yes. - Exactly. 330 00:20:31,122 --> 00:20:32,917 I'm dead. 331 00:20:33,043 --> 00:20:35,042 So sorry to have kept you. 332 00:20:36,090 --> 00:20:38,089 She's very good. 333 00:20:40,309 --> 00:20:41,597 What can I do for you? 334 00:20:41,723 --> 00:20:44,863 - All right, listen to what I'm... - Wait. 335 00:20:44,988 --> 00:20:46,760 The doctor's dead. 336 00:20:48,988 --> 00:20:50,352 I just... 337 00:20:51,221 --> 00:20:53,863 I don't understand. If it's come back, why not accept the sedatives? 338 00:20:53,988 --> 00:20:56,314 - I mean, they might help with... - Because... 339 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,593 back at the house I see the same faces every day. 340 00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:02,532 But at the hospital, completely different ones. 341 00:21:02,658 --> 00:21:04,863 Different places, different faces. 342 00:21:04,988 --> 00:21:07,366 - Why would my brain do that? - OK, that is... 343 00:21:07,492 --> 00:21:10,606 It wouldn't. Because they're not in here. 344 00:21:10,894 --> 00:21:12,094 They're out there. 345 00:21:32,695 --> 00:21:35,341 Right, we're selling up. We'll buy a little new-build. 346 00:21:35,467 --> 00:21:38,715 One of those soulless little boxes that I've always hated. 347 00:21:38,988 --> 00:21:43,466 One bed's fine. Just somewhere with absolutely no past whatsoever. 348 00:21:44,180 --> 00:21:45,863 Right. Yeah. 349 00:21:45,988 --> 00:21:47,298 It's just... 350 00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:49,549 OK, well... 351 00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:51,345 - I don't want you to get mad. - Am I going to get mad? 352 00:21:51,470 --> 00:21:55,720 Yes. I spoke to the loan people and, with the prepayment penalties and... 353 00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:59,863 Well, long story short, getting out now 354 00:21:59,988 --> 00:22:01,587 would probably bankrupt us. 355 00:22:01,713 --> 00:22:04,808 And I only added "probably" to make it sound better. 356 00:22:04,988 --> 00:22:06,479 Didn't you read the contracts? 357 00:22:06,605 --> 00:22:08,387 I gave them what I'd call a lengthy skim. 358 00:22:08,513 --> 00:22:11,120 Mike, I could kill you. 359 00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:12,863 Ooh. Good idea. 360 00:22:12,989 --> 00:22:15,035 Though maybe not here, just because he might... 361 00:22:18,472 --> 00:22:19,740 Right. 362 00:22:20,597 --> 00:22:22,739 Well, there's only one thing for it, isn't there? 363 00:22:25,738 --> 00:22:27,762 Fine. I see you. OK? 364 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:29,665 I see Major-General Can't-Sing, 365 00:22:29,790 --> 00:22:31,781 I see Captain Cave-Prick, I see all of you. 366 00:22:31,907 --> 00:22:34,864 OK? You win. Mission accomplished. 367 00:22:34,989 --> 00:22:38,612 I admit your existence. Now what the hell do you want? 368 00:22:38,738 --> 00:22:41,595 - We want you out of this house. - Yes, you do not belong here. 369 00:22:41,759 --> 00:22:43,076 Well, that's tough, isn't it? 370 00:22:43,202 --> 00:22:46,864 Because thanks to my resident mortgage advisor, we're stuck here. 371 00:22:46,989 --> 00:22:50,108 - OK, you're officially freaking me out. - So how about you leave? 372 00:22:50,234 --> 00:22:53,259 - We can't leave. - You sort of just stays where you dies. 373 00:22:53,385 --> 00:22:55,436 And how you dies... Died. 374 00:22:55,562 --> 00:22:57,062 It's your classic haunted house. 375 00:22:57,188 --> 00:22:59,461 - Er, Alison... - Whoa. Right. 376 00:22:59,610 --> 00:23:02,068 So I can't go and you can't go. So... 377 00:23:02,521 --> 00:23:06,704 what will it take to get you all just out of my face? 378 00:23:07,422 --> 00:23:09,404 What do you want? What do you actually want? 379 00:23:09,530 --> 00:23:11,063 Specifically. You? 380 00:23:12,404 --> 00:23:14,530 Right. I'll tell you what we want. 381 00:23:14,656 --> 00:23:16,452 We demand that... 382 00:23:17,786 --> 00:23:19,566 One hour a week of the thing about tanks 383 00:23:19,692 --> 00:23:21,632 and anything on superweapons, please? Thank you. 384 00:23:21,757 --> 00:23:23,871 - Done. Next. - It feels like I should call someone? 385 00:23:23,988 --> 00:23:26,656 Who you gonna call? You, Sourpuss. 386 00:23:26,782 --> 00:23:30,528 Remove my husband's portrait, and fill the hole in my wall. 387 00:23:30,654 --> 00:23:33,472 - Done. You? - Divorce him, kill yourself, marry me. 388 00:23:33,598 --> 00:23:34,749 - No. - To which bit? 389 00:23:34,875 --> 00:23:37,228 - You? - I just wanted to say hello.. 390 00:23:37,384 --> 00:23:38,908 - Hello. - Hello. 391 00:23:39,034 --> 00:23:41,863 And on behalf of myself and my fellow ghosts... 392 00:23:41,988 --> 00:23:44,863 Listen. I want those slanderous beggars at Goggle 393 00:23:44,988 --> 00:23:47,863 to amend my entry for the next edition. I am a respectable... 394 00:23:47,988 --> 00:23:49,864 It doesn't work like that, it's the internet. 395 00:23:49,989 --> 00:23:51,997 Right. And where are they based? 396 00:23:52,122 --> 00:23:55,749 It's everywhere. In every house in the country, in the world. 397 00:23:55,875 --> 00:23:59,863 You mean every person on the planet just thinks of me as the weirdo MP 398 00:23:59,988 --> 00:24:01,863 who died in some sex scandal? 399 00:24:01,988 --> 00:24:04,562 - That was you? - What? No. 400 00:24:04,988 --> 00:24:07,774 I don't want anything, actually. Who's next? 401 00:24:07,900 --> 00:24:10,159 Renounce Satan, witch. 402 00:24:10,285 --> 00:24:11,994 Um... OK. 403 00:24:12,237 --> 00:24:14,863 Yeah, yeah, that's probably done it. 404 00:24:15,232 --> 00:24:18,552 And what about you, Budget Tarzan? 405 00:24:18,678 --> 00:24:19,864 What do you want? 406 00:24:19,989 --> 00:24:22,066 - Nuffin', thanks. - Nothing? 407 00:24:23,113 --> 00:24:24,752 So you just spent... 408 00:24:25,462 --> 00:24:27,434 So you just spent the last three days 409 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:31,637 hiding in every little tiny little dark corner in this entire house, 410 00:24:31,763 --> 00:24:34,345 scaring me out of my mind, 411 00:24:34,471 --> 00:24:35,916 for no reason? 412 00:24:36,408 --> 00:24:37,863 Well, it was something to do. 413 00:24:37,988 --> 00:24:39,775 My turn. I think we've got a lot in common. 414 00:24:39,900 --> 00:24:41,863 OK, so I've just googled "psychotic break" 415 00:24:41,988 --> 00:24:44,657 and I'm not saying that this is one, but there is an article 416 00:24:44,783 --> 00:24:45,862 that I think you should have a... 417 00:24:45,988 --> 00:24:47,737 Mike, this isn't... Can you just come with me? 418 00:24:47,862 --> 00:24:49,502 All of you. 419 00:24:49,628 --> 00:24:52,479 - Where are you going? - To shut you all up. 420 00:24:52,605 --> 00:24:55,296 Horsey to go dooka-dakka-deeko. 421 00:24:55,831 --> 00:24:57,496 Dooka-dakka-deeko. 422 00:24:58,607 --> 00:24:59,987 OK, you go. 423 00:25:00,113 --> 00:25:02,131 Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 424 00:25:02,256 --> 00:25:03,903 Even more softly. 425 00:25:05,523 --> 00:25:06,863 When's our sleepover again? 426 00:25:06,988 --> 00:25:08,721 - Eighth of March. - And what is it now? 427 00:25:08,846 --> 00:25:11,114 - June. - So exciting. 428 00:25:12,643 --> 00:25:13,983 How long's this on for? 429 00:25:14,109 --> 00:25:16,097 I need to contact this Vicky Pedia. 430 00:25:23,378 --> 00:25:24,913 Er, well played. 431 00:25:25,039 --> 00:25:28,487 Perhaps there is some Button blood in those veins after all. 432 00:25:28,988 --> 00:25:29,864 Yeah. 433 00:25:29,989 --> 00:25:32,863 Well, I'm not sure I buy all this, but I've moved the painting. 434 00:25:32,988 --> 00:25:33,997 And bricked up the hole? 435 00:25:34,122 --> 00:25:36,759 Yeah, I filled the hole. 436 00:25:40,865 --> 00:25:42,947 This will not stand. 437 00:25:44,656 --> 00:25:46,299 Well, you seem happier. 438 00:25:47,049 --> 00:25:49,703 The good news is I'm not mad. 439 00:25:49,829 --> 00:25:51,996 That's a relief. What's the bad news? 440 00:25:57,323 --> 00:25:58,616 They are. 441 00:26:13,855 --> 00:26:17,169 - Alison. - Turn the right-hand dial horizontal. 442 00:26:18,989 --> 00:26:20,988 And press the ignition. 443 00:26:23,870 --> 00:26:25,070 OK. 444 00:26:26,256 --> 00:26:28,863 I believe you. And, er... 445 00:26:29,558 --> 00:26:31,780 - thank you? - They say you're welcome. 446 00:26:31,906 --> 00:26:34,901 "They"? You mean there's two of them? 447 00:26:38,886 --> 00:26:40,086 Yes. 448 00:26:40,212 --> 00:26:44,812 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 34553

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