All language subtitles for Cest.comme.ca.que.je.taime.S01E03.1080p.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-ROCCaT_track4_[eng]

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Original subtitles

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Give me that.

Huguette, I'm your husband

and I'm ordering you to give it to me.

You're under arrest.

Everything all right?

Stay out of this, Serge!

I've got it under control.

Huguette is under arrest.

Are there bullets left in here?

I put three cartridges in, and I shot twice.

Perfect.

You're going to arrest me?

Yes.

As your husband, I'm within my rights to arrest you.

You're like children in the eyes of the law.

Jesus Christ!

What happened?

You put ideas in her head!

Instead of killing me, she's killing other people!

Take this. You're better at it than I am.

Don't lower it!

Your Honor, I'm the victim in all this.

What?

There are two guilty parties here:

Ga�tan Delisle and Serge Paquette.

My husband's career has been a series of humiliations.

When the most important task given to you

is to blow up balloons and make ham sandwiches,

that's a sign that your future prospects in the government

aren't exactly great!

What are you saying?

My husband had questionable dealings

with controversial individuals associated with unions.

He even tried to get

a special deal for them from the government,

guaranteeing them exclusive union rights

for the James Bay project.

He was even paid for his work.

I found one of the payments: $500.

There's no way a simple housewife like me

could have earned that kind of money.

I'd like to submit that money to the court as evidence.

Give me that.

Go call the police, Serge. I'm through messing around!

Serge, go call the police!

No, wait.

I want to know when I appear in the story.

Thankfully, a colleague of Ga�tan's

uncovered his scheming.

G�rard Boulerice was an upstanding man.

When he threatened to tell their superiors everything,

Ga�tan went crazy.

I started to suspect that something was amiss

when Ga�tan asked me

to get him a rifle for his birthday.

It was strange!

Why was he suddenly interested in hunting?

And the night of the party for the Simard kid,

things came to a head.

Was it the humiliation of the ham sandwiches?

I did everything I could to stop him.

I followed him to the victim's house,

I tried to take the gun away,

but I failed.

My husband will tell you the opposite,

but how could an innocent man

have left so many fingerprints on the murder weapon?

Tell me, what role

did Serge Paquette play in all this?

Jesus! Are you playing the judge now?

Thank you for asking, Your Honor.

I was just getting to that.

Serge Paquette coached Ga�tan Delisle.

As a former military man,

he demonstrated the basics of shooting.

But he didn't know what Ga�tan would do.

He was still an accomplice, though,

in a certain way.

An innocent accomplice, you might say.

Yes, Your Honor.

Thank you for your testimony, ma'am.

Shut up, you idiot!

Is anyone there? Hello?

We're all the way at the back!

You're forgetting one detail, Mrs. Delisle.

What's that?

The testimony of two key witnesses.

You're good!

The Court calls Mrs. Micheline Paquette

and Marie-Jos�e...

What's your last name again?

Bolduc. -Bolduc.

Objection, Your Honor!

Mrs. Paquette and Ms. Bolduc

only heard the gunshots.

They were in the car.

How could they know

if it was Ga�tan Delisle or Huguette Delisle who fired?

Sustained.

They saw you run into the house, you lunatic!

Yes, I ran, but only to warn Mr. Boulerice.

I would also add that the testimony

of an adulterous woman,

adulterous with Ga�tan Delisle no less,

would certainly be viewed by the jury

with a good amount of skepticism.

And Ms. Bolduc's testimony?

Same credibility problem,

given her troubling relationship with Serge Paquette.

Mr. Paquette even confided in me about it.

Would the Court like to hear it?

No. No, thank you.

I therefore plead not guilty

and I have nothing more to add, Your Honor.

I'm calling the police.

No.

Don't do that.

Micheline!

No! No! -You're crazy!

You've all gone crazy! -Huguette's the crazy one!

She wanted to kill me because I'm in love with you,

and now she wants to take it out on everyone.

You have to leave.

His wife will be back from her concert at eight.

That's in 10 minutes!

At the Grand Th��tre? -The concert? Yes.

It can take a while to get out of there.

You remember when we went to see Ren�e Claude?

Ren�e Claude! -Who is she?

Stop touching everything!

They're going to dust for prints and identify us!

I just used the bathroom. -What?

It's your sandwiches! I think the mayo went bad.

I just touched the phone.

I'll clean everything. Go.

But you've got less than 10 minutes!

I know you're a murderer,

but you're still my wife and the mother of my child.

We could help you.

Right, gang?

It will be hard to get the blood out.

I wanted to clean the prints, not the blood.

Let's clean everywhere we've been.

Then, we go. We have nine minutes!

In an ideal world,

you'd put plastic sheeting down under the victim before shooting.

Then you can just roll him up. It's less messy.

That's a little trick.

I'm so dumb!

As I'm looking for stuff, I'm leaving more prints!

We need gloves, too!

Yes.

You scared me!

Is the cleavage too much?

We're looking for gloves, OK?

And try to find the light, too!

No.

I don't mind making your wife jealous.

But I'm a lesbian,

so it'll never happen with us, OK?

Not that I don't find you attractive,

but I've chosen to love women.

I'm a political lesbian.

Stop talking nonsense and help me look.

It's because of men like you that I founded the RMFMDPSQ!

Do you know the RMFMDPSQ?

The RMFMDPSQ: the Radical Marxist-Feminist Movement

for the Destruction of Patriarchal Structures in Quebec!

I'm the only member now,

but it's positioned to grow.

You're a communist?

There's no way you're unionizing the store!

Is that clear?

What's my last name?

Huh?

You didn't know my last name.

I told you. What is it?

I don't remember.

You know my bra size, but not my last name?

Don't tell me Wonderwear turned you into a communist?

You can't even give a woman a gift anymore!

What's my last name?

Are you serious?

My last name,

or you'll become the first victim of the RMFMDPSQ!

What's wrong with everyone tonight?

My last name!

You're fired, OK?

Don't come in to work tomorrow. You don't have a job!

You might have big tits,

but a communist with big tits

is still a communist!

You were lucky last time.

Your wife was sleeping next to you.

As a political lesbian,

I am committed to protecting women from violence.

But this is different. It's perfect.

Tonight, the RMFMDPSQ strikes for the first time.

Down with the capitalist patriarchy!

There's already a crime scene.

You need another one?

Can't we take it one fucking crime scene at a time?

I don't think so. It's too perfect.

The two stories will get mixed up and no one will suspect me.

I'm taking advantage of one crime to commit another.

It's genius!

That's true. It's not bad.

But this isn't bad either.

What? Hey!

Shit!

She's here! The wife is home!

Go tell them!

You can deal with the patriarchy later.

Go tell them!

Shit!

Painting gloves.

They'll be perfect.

We have Mr. Clean and some Scott Towels.

Just wipe down the Ren�e Claude record

and the phone in the dining room.

She's here. -Who?

The wife. -Why didn't you say so?

Serge is blocking the garage door.

Block the front door. I'll take care of the back.

She just tried here.

She must have gone back to get something from the car.

Or she went out front. Do you see her?

I can't see anything.

You can't unlock this one from the outside.

Go look, Huguette!

She's home? -Check the living room!

Is she there? -Don't let her in!

I don't see her!

Shouldn't we try to not talk so loud?

No!

Micheline!

I slipped.

I went to the bathroom.

I didn't know there was another one.

Why are you all going to the bathroom?

Micheline, I'd like you to come back home.

OK, everyone. Back to your positions!

Here, take these.

And the girl is a lesbian!

My vagina is burning, G�rard!

G�rard?

G�rard!

I think there was something in the spray that girl gave me.

It was stinging the whole concert!

I feel like it's starting to blister.

I'm jumping in the pool!

She can't get back in. She doesn't have her keys.

It's the total freshness spray I gave her this afternoon.

Yes, that stuff burns like crazy!

Nice one!

Good job!

I think that's when I got the bug,

as they say.

I would talk and people would listen.

Unlike at work.

I remember thinking,

"Is this what happiness feels like?"

I hadn't felt that in a long time.

It's silly, but at that moment,

I felt like I was part of a group.

I'd never had that before.

It made me want to accept more members in my organization.

Because when you think about it, communism is a group thing.

At that moment,

I thought it wasn't so bad that they followed me, in the end.

I also thought that having killed those two guys

might make me want to kill my husband less.

You look like you're having fun.

Good teamwork, everyone!

OK, let's carry on with Operation Cleanup:

living room, bathroom, doorknobs,

and we're gone.

OK. -I'm leaving now.

I'm sorry, Huguette.

You're sweet and you've always been a good listener.

And I know it's important to be neighborly,

but there are limits, for Christ's sake!

You OK?

She saved your life!

He was about to shoot you!

You're a hero! A real hero!

Micheline! Oh, sorry!

Micheline...

I feel bad.

It's your first time killing someone.

It's understandable that it wasn't perfect.

Being a murderer is more complicated than you thought, huh?

She's out of the pool!

OK! Where do we go from here?

Are we keeping the house switch?

I'd like to take a shower!

Micheline is welcome back home.

But your suitcase is at my house.

That might be simpler.

And I have a handheld shower!

It has different jets. Could be nice.

No, on the couch Huguette!

You once made me sleep on the couch

because I said your mother had bad breath!

You killed two guys.

You better believe you're on the couch!

Why are you always humiliating me in front of everyone?

Why'd you have to tell everyone I wasn't good?

I thought you were crying because you felt guilty.

But you were crying because you were disappointed

in your performance?

And that girl with the big tits playing the hero...

I already shot the guy!

You don't need a doctor in the end.

You need a priest!

You need an exorcism!

You're like the girl in the movie:

Your head is going to spin all the way around!

What are you doing?

I'm not scared of you.

I'm going to the police.

Can we do something for you, sir?

Sir?

More problems with your window?

No. I fixed it.

I mean, I had it fixed.

Someone came to the house to fix it.

OK...

That's why you're here?

To tell me that you had your window fixed?

Yes.

So?

Nothing.

And that's the news.

At least something positive came of this.

What?

You're back home.

You know we have a meeting with Michel today?

Are you serious?

You still want to see the lawyer?

He said it could be informal.

The three of us could grab a bite.

Just to get some information.

We're involved in a double murder!

That's a reason to postpone our divorce proceedings!

Don't you think?

I don't know if it's the Valium,

I've had four in eight hours,

but last night

might have been the good Lord

bringing us back together.

I think four is too many.

We got this yesterday.

You weren't home.

Hey, parents. We are having fun at the camp.

We will indeed come back changed.

You, are you changing too?

We love you. Isabelle and Fran�ois.

Is this a bad time?

Would you like a coffee?

I'm sorry about yesterday. I feel terrible.

About your outfit, too.

It's too bad. That outfit looked really good on you.

To make it up to you, I brought...

some compensation.

We don't want your money, Huguette.

Even if she feels bad and wants to give it to us?

You wanted to take Micheline for a carriage ride!

Five hundred dollars

buys a lot of carriage rides!

Thanks, Huguette.

I don't know where this money came from

and I don't want to know.

We're not interested.

Carriages smell like shit.

Can I get some compensation?

Listen!

We've just learned there have been two deaths

in the suburb of Sillery.

The identity of the two victims has yet to be revealed,

but we know it was two men.

The deadly burglary took place late in the evening.

The robber or robbers entered the residence

with no signs of a break-in.

More details to come.

In other news, Vic Cotroni,

a mob leader in Montreal, has...

A burglary? What are they saying?

This isn't bad. -Let them think that.

It wasn't a burglary. It was a double homicide!

Christ, she's disappointed!

Did you want them to announce your name on the radio?

Not at all.

And why haven't you asked me if I went to the police last night?

Because I'm sure you didn't go.

I'm so sick of this.

I have to go.

If you change your mind...

Lucien? There's no one in lingerie.

Didn't you know? I thought it came from you.

What?

Marie-Jos�e came to get her things 10 minutes ago.

She said you fired her.

She said that? -Yes.

Jesus! Again?

It's not what you think.

I wanted to return it to you.

I borrowed it.

It's yours. I didn't use it in the end.

Where did you get it? -Off your basement wall.

You have three on a rack.

I snuck in your house

that time with the shirt and the pool party.

I thought I'd left it at the cottage.

So, you're leaving?

Well, you fired me.

And I understand.

I was in your house without permission,

I stole a rifle, and I threatened to kill you.

Twice.

I think those are valid reasons to fire someone.

Do you still want to kill me?

Less. I think shooting the guard

calmed things down a bit.

Like a balm.

I figure that he can be

my first victim.

Yes. Anyway, thanks for saving my wife.

My pleasure.

You want one? -No, thanks.

It's so boring here.

So fucking boring.

It's boring. Boring, boring, boring.

Well, I should go.

No, wait!

Come with me.

You're going to work in lingerie.

Huh?

Get your things. You're going to work in lingerie.

You like tits?

Uh, yes, I do.

Then get the hell out of here! Lingerie!

Go!

All right.

I'm offering you a job in hunting and fishing!

You start now. I'll up your salary by 25 cents an hour.

Take it or leave it.

OK, 50 cents, but I can't do better than that.

I'm not sure that I'm qualified.

I've seen you shoot!

You make Charles Bronson look like a pussy.

OK, but I need to change.

You look perfect.

Just give your Wonderwear to Lucien.

I'm sure it'll fit him.

And if you want cherries, just help yourself.

My stash is in the bottom drawer of my desk.

It helps the day go by sometimes.

OK... Ms. Bolduc?

What do you mean, the mayo went bad?

Five people have gotten the runs.

It wasn't even my idea.

I just wanted mustard!

Claude is the one who wanted to mix it up.

I had to stop him:

he was about to make pasta salad!

I'm warning you: Everyone's in a bad mood.

Bourassa had a big meeting with G�rard,

but G�rard didn't show up.

No one can reach him!

Everyone thinks he started drinking again.

Have you heard from him?

From G�rard? No.

But... it was a burglary, no?

A burglary?

Isn't that what they said on the radio?

You mean what happened in Sillery?

The two deaths?

I didn't know about the two deaths.

I heard it was a burglary.

I don't understand.

Did they say the burglary was at G�rard's house?

No, they didn't name anyone

in what I heard.

That's right! No, no, no!

You're right. They didn't name anyone.

Then how do you know

that the burglary was at G�rard's?

Well... he lives in Sillery.

I think G�rard lives in Sillery.

Yes, but how can you know it was him?

Well, he lives in Sillery!

He's not the only one who lives there!

No, that's right! I'm sorry!

They did name him.

They said, "G�rard Boulerice."

There might be another G�rard Boulerice in Sillery,

I don't know.

We'd have to check.

Oh, my God!

That means there were two deaths at G�rard's house!

He's really passionate, huh?

You could say that.

You screw in the hose,

it sprays water and then you slide.

Fun as hell.

Come on.

You wanted to see me?

Of course. I wanted to give you the rest of your money.

Great. It went well, I think.

Oh yeah? You think it went well?

Yes. I was a bit nervous.

But the results were good.

The guy's dead?

Oh, yeah. Completely dead.

You killed him? -Of course.

You killed him?

Yeah?

You're nuts!

When did we ask you to do that? -Huh?

When did we ask you to kill him?

Well, you told me to- -What did we tell you?

You paid me to do it. You gave me money.

We never told you to kill him!

You told me to do the job.

You told me I had eyes like Meatball Tremblay.

You said I was a killer!

You said that?

It's an expression.

We always say, "That guy's a killer."

But it doesn't mean he kills for real!

You think we kill people?

We're in Sainte-Foy! Nothing happens here.

No one kills anyone!

We wanted you to intimidate him like you did to Ren�

when he shat himself.

We wanted you to scare him so he'd tell Bourassa

that it'd be a good idea

to sign an exclusive deal

with the guys from the union who pay me!

But now he can't go to his meeting with Bourassa.

You know why he can't go?

Because he's dead? -Exactly, you idiot!

Wait, there was a communication issue.

You thought Jeanine was going to give her the details,

but... she didn't really.

I knew it!

I knew I couldn't trust a woman!

Ren� insisted. So did Jeanine.

She said, "Why not?"

It's those damn ideas Janette Bertrand is putting in her head!

Fuck off, Raymond!

Get back in the kitchen, woman!

Blow your husband and spread your legs

when he asks you to.

Shake your ass and stir the pot,

but don't stir shit around here again!

Got it, you fucking lunatic?

Now give me back the money I gave you.

I should leave.

That's a damn good idea!

Bourassa wants to see you. -Huh?

You're the only one who heard from G�rard.

He wants to see you right away!

Hurry up!

Come on!

Have a seat, Ga�tan.

Listen, I have to go.

There's someone in my office.

This whole thing is very sad.

OK. Bye.

You were right, Ga�tan. G�rard is dead.

That was the provincial police.

They said it was a burglary gone wrong.

I'd be curious to know your source.

The guys in communications here hadn't heard anything.

No names have been mentioned in the media.

Well, I...

I have confidential sources,

you might say.

I'm pretty well connected.

I think it's important.

Listen, Ga�tan, you'll forgive me,

but I didn't know you before this morning.

I hear you made the sandwiches for the Simard kid.

Uh, yes.

But I spent more time organizing the event.

The logistics of it.

Because the sandwiches were great!

I know there was some controversy

about the mayonnaise,

but being a mustard man myself,

I really liked them!

Thank you. I was just saying to my secretary

that the mayonnaise wasn't my idea-

I'm sorry.

Let's not dwell on the sandwiches.

No, of course not!

How about union issues?

Are you familiar with those?

Yes, of course.

That's one of my areas of expertise.

Because I was supposed to have a meeting on James Bay

with G�rard, but since G�rard isn't here anymore...

It's true. He's not here anymore.

Come meet me at my table tonight

at the Continental.

I'll be there around nine.

OK. Perfect!

I'm passionate about union issues-

You can go now, Ga�tan. I have work to do.

See you tonight.

Huguette?

Huguette?

I'm going to have dinner with Robert Bourassa!

Huguette?

Micheline! I'm going to eat with Robert Bourassa!

Are you home?

Legally, you'll stay married,

but you'll be separated.

A legal separation.

That wouldn't be bad.

Like a compromise.

How is it a compromise?

Well, legally, we'd still be married.

I don't want to be legally married. I want to be really married!

I want us to stay together!

Maybe we can talk about this next week at your office,

so we have time to discuss.

As you wish.

This is an emotional situation.

For me, too. I like you both very much.

No, it's not that.

Let's say a person is involved

in a crime or something illegal.

The person is innocent. She didn't do anything.

But she was there when the crime,

when the illegal thing, took place.

Is that person... guilty?

At first glance, I'd say no.

And if that person,

who had nothing to do with the illegal thing,

did another not-so-legal thing,

would she be guilty of both illegal things

or just the second?

I'm not sure I follow you, Micheline.

I thought, "I'm going to call the police."

I thought, "I'm going...

"I'm going into the bedroom

"to find another phone

"and call the police."

I emptied it out. I took everything.

I went nuts.

I don't know. It was so exciting.

It was...

the best day of my life.

After the birth of our children?

I'm not so sure.

Really? -No.

Micheline...

Yes, it's fine.

Did you get caught in the rain?

No. Thankfully!

Good evening!

I recommend the filet mignon.

I heard it's especially delicious!

Everything all right?

Yes.

They killed his security guard, too.

Do you know why he hired a security guard?

No.

The bastards!

Have they started to dust?

Dust?

For prints.

No idea.

Maybe they won't, in the end.

It often doesn't even work!

Really? -Yes.

You could even tell them not to.

Could you? Tell them not to?

Mr. Delisle, I'm told it's urgent.

I'm sorry. Do you mind?

No problem.

Hello?

Ga�tan, I'm going to confess.

I won't say you were there.

You were right. I'm turning myself in.

I'm at the police station.

Where are you?

Carole gave me the number.

I'm at the Continental with the premier.

Could we talk about this another time?

You were right. I'm no good!

No, don't say that.

And don't do that, OK? It's my wife.

She has self-confidence issues from time to time.

Who doesn't?

I think you shouldn't give up.

OK?

And don't go where you want to go. Go home.

I'm so confused!

I didn't think you would say that.

I just have one thing to tell you, my sweet Huguette:

Follow through on your dreams, don't get yourself down.

Bye!

I'm sorry.

Do you mind?

Just one more quick call.

It won't take long. Thanks.

Harder!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes! Wait...

This one's good!

Yes!

No answer.

Raymond, you'll get electrocuted.

No, it's even more fun when it's raining.

And it doesn't chafe as much.

Shit! Jeanine!

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