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1
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,320
MAN: We'll find somewhere.
2
00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:12,120
Here?
3
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,480
There.
4
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,240
You say goodbye to Goldie.
5
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,040
I'll start preparing the grave.
6
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:35,720
What do you want to say?
7
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:40,200
I'm sorry, Goldie, I put you in
the bath with all the bubbles.
8
00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,360
HE GASPS
9
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,840
Get the children away.
SHE SCREAMS
10
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,040
Get the children away!
11
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,960
KNOCKING ON DOOR
Come in.
12
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,240
DOOR OPENS
13
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,320
So, what can I help you with today?
14
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,880
Well, Doctor, you know it's,
er, rather embarrassing.
15
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,800
You can share whatever you like.
Well, you know...
16
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,080
Erm, Doctor, it's, erm...
17
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,720
It's during, you know, like, er...
like sex.
18
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,640
I just, er, I find I just...
I just can't orgasm...
19
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:28,360
No matter who the man is
or no matter how big he is...
20
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:29,920
I see.
21
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:37,200
PANTING AND MOANING
22
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:38,800
# The best things in life are free
23
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,360
# But you can give them
To the birds and bees
24
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,760
# I need money
25
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,040
# That's what I want
26
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:48,080
CARDI: Vin, I need to talk to you.
Can it wait, mate?
27
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,360
I've turned up at JJ's
with some nicked wheels.
28
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,720
Yeah, well,
it's q‐q‐quite important.
29
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:56,440
Yeah, all right, listen, let me...
Let me see you at the party.
30
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,080
I'll chat to you then.
Yeah, all right, fine, OK, bye.
31
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,720
40.
32
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,480
What's going on here?
Are you all right, JJ? Yeah.
33
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,320
The blood's just rushing a bit now.
34
00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,120
Er...
This is my cousin Sarim.
35
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,720
Are you all right, Sarim?
Yeah, all right. Who are you?
36
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,360
I'm Vinnie, I'm JJ's mate.
37
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,160
50.
38
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,040
Going a bit thin on top there,
Vinnie.
39
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,000
Yeah, sign of virility, apparently.
That's bollocks, that is.
40
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,280
Got to be a minute, now.
Look at Samson, in your Bible,
41
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,960
cut all his hair off,
lost his strength.
42
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,080
Yeah, I know, but I don't take the
Bible literally, though, you know,
43
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:32,120
what with Noah and all them animals.
It's gotta be a minute.
44
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,240
What, you don't believe
in your own holy book?
45
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,240
Erm, I just think
it's all a bit far‐fetched for me.
46
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:40,360
Mind you, they fucking all are,
aren't they? Koran, Torah...
47
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,240
What?
Urgh...!
48
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,560
Shit!
Are you slagging our book?
49
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:45,840
No, man, I'm...
50
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,160
JJ, are you all right, love?
What you saying, huh?
51
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:51,000
I'm just saying some of the stories
are just a bit far‐fetched.
52
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,680
Is this a fucking friend of yours?
Sarim!
53
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:55,320
Don't Sarim me. You come here
with your fucking slaphead
54
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:58,040
and you start slagging our book.
I'm not slagging your book off.
55
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,320
Sarim...
Don't Sarim me, JJ.
56
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,520
Dude, calm down.
Stop dude‐ing me, you fucking twat.
57
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,120
OK.
All right?
58
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:05,720
You fucking bald prick.
59
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,000
Car, tomorrow.
Yeah.
60
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,680
And I told you I could hold you up
for a minute.
61
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,440
Yes, you did.
Yeah?
62
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:16,280
What an incredible bellend.
63
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,280
Fucking handsome, though,
ain't he, eh?
64
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,760
This is how he's treated me
my whole fucking life.
65
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,440
He goes, "I bet I can hold you
upside‐down for a minute,"
66
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,080
then he bloody goes and does it.
67
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,400
Now I've got to fix
his fucking white car
68
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,080
for his stupid flash wedding.
69
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,400
Wedding? Someone's marrying him?
Yeah.
70
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,040
Danika.
71
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,280
She's just as bad as he is.
72
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,560
They used to take the piss
out of me, because I was fat.
73
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:41,680
Fatty.
No.
74
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,200
You fat fucker!
75
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,760
Come here. Don't get worked up.
No, come on.
76
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,800
Don't let him do that.
It's all right.
77
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,880
It's all right, man.
You know what?
78
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,120
All I ever wanted
was revenge on him.
79
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,800
And now I've gotta buy them a
fucking gift for the their wedding.
80
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,920
He's just a bully.
He's just a bully.
81
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,800
Let's go and have a brew.
Come on.
82
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,760
# And you put your left leg in
83
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,720
# Your left leg out
84
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:12,440
# In, out, in, out
You shake it all about
85
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:16,720
# You do the hokey cokey
And you turn around
86
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,040
# That's what it's all about...
87
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,200
HE COUGHS
Hey!
88
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:24,120
He's bloody useless, isn't he?
How did we persuade him to do this?
89
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,080
It's what he does now.
He's packed the circus in.
90
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,360
He's set up on his own.
91
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,480
He's calling himself
Maurice Bojangles.
92
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,240
# Hey, the hokey cokey...
93
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:35,800
Has he been drinking? He's sweating
like a necrophiliac at a funeral.
94
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,720
Oi, dude, can we talk?
Let me roll this spliff.
95
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,760
I'll come and have a chat with you.
96
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,920
More beer, lads?
No. You're all right thanks, love.
97
00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,280
So, go on, then,
what have you got Tyler?
98
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,640
Oh, er...
99
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,520
Just...
100
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,320
Just my rabbit.
What?
101
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,280
Is there a rabbit in there?
Yeah. It can breathe.
102
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,320
In here?
Oh, my God.
103
00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:58,920
Don't tilt it.
104
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,840
What, are you not gonna miss it?
105
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,240
No, no, we don't get on.
Go on, just...
106
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,120
Now, so we've got it, yeah?
Yeah.
107
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,080
All right, thanks, Vin.
All right.
108
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,840
BOOING
109
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Get off!
110
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,800
JEERING
111
00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:19,680
Hey! Get off!
Give me my nose back and sit down.
112
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,360
So, how's things going on
with you and Erin? Er, yeah.
113
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,680
Yeah, we're taking it slow. You
know, we don't wanna confuse Tyler.
114
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,120
Yeah.
115
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,400
What about Sara?
116
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,960
Er, yeah.
117
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,480
No, I had a chat
with her yesterday.
118
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,120
It was fine.
119
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:35,760
Fine?
Yeah.
120
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,120
I mean, you know, she's a great girl
and I feel fucking terrible.
121
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:41,440
Vin?
Sorry, lad. Yeah, come on.
122
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,680
Let's go and have a chat.
123
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,320
Right, what's in the magic hat?
Let's have a look.
124
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:48,560
Ooh, that's not supposed to happen.
125
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,040
Ooh, what's this?
126
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,280
Look at this... You're just
pulling it out of your sleeve!
127
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,520
I'm not pulling it out my sleeve!
Look, there's nothing up me sleeve.
128
00:05:56,560 --> 00:06:00,000
The other sleeve. No. No.
There's nothing in my other sleeve.
129
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,600
You, shush.
130
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,160
Oh, look, it's Ricky the Raccoon!
131
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,240
Do you want to stroke him?
Boring!
132
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:06,360
No, it's not boring!
133
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:10,360
I've been doing a lot of thinking,
er, about her...
134
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:14,640
..and, er, the way she is with me.
135
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:19,680
And, erm, you know, I know
sh‐sh‐sh‐she made that...
136
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:24,160
..porno,
but it was a long time ago.
137
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,520
And we've all done stupid stuff
in t'past.
138
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,960
Do you remember that wanking
contest?
139
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,480
I do, yeah. Not fondly.
Yeah, but you know...
140
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,680
..no matter
h‐h‐how much I watch it...
141
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,520
..it doesn't change anything,
because...
142
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:47,160
..I've never felt this way before
about anyone.
143
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,400
And I'm s‐s‐scared because...
144
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,760
..you know, I know I can be useless
and I'm a bit fat
145
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,720
and, you know, I let people down,
but I...
146
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,880
..I really fucking love her, man.
147
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,040
And I need her...
148
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,840
..you know, to be with me,
149
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,880
and I just always w‐w‐want her to...
150
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,880
.t‐t‐to be in my life.
151
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,040
So...
152
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,560
I, erm...
153
00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,320
I got this.
154
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,000
No way.
155
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,240
Are you gonna ask her?
Yeah, well...
156
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,640
What do you think?
Yeah, fucking definitely.
157
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,320
Definitely do that.
158
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,040
Will she say yes? Of course
she's gonna fucking say yes.
159
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,360
Of course she's gonna say yeah.
Listen to me.
160
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,280
I'm really proud of you, all right?
161
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,520
That's a fucking big decision.
162
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,200
If she says yes...
Hm?
163
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,160
..will you help me sort out
a wedding?
164
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:54,200
It don't have to be much, it's just
like a fucking vicar and a takeaway.
165
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:58,120
If my mate Cardi
wants to get married
166
00:07:58,160 --> 00:07:59,960
and have a fucking party,
167
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,600
it's gonna be the biggest one
I can possibly think of.
168
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,160
I promise you, I love you so much,
man. All right?
169
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,680
All right, well,
go and ask her, then.
170
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,080
What, now?
Well, why not?
171
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,320
No, no.
What the fuck? You've got the ring!
172
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:17,840
No, but I...
Go and do it.
173
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,040
Don't think about shit,
just get it done.
174
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,560
That's what I'd do.
175
00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:24,920
Just go and get it done.
176
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,120
HE CHUCKLES
Go on.
177
00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,720
Sod off.
All right.
178
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,160
Good lad.
179
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,400
Give us another one there, Maurice.
180
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,760
Don't egg him on.
181
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,520
Don't egg him on.
182
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,200
There's nothing in the magic hat.
183
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,240
Give it here! Come on!
Give it here, Specky.
184
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,880
Kids!
Give it here, lad.
185
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:44,800
I'm doing the cake.
Give me my fucking hat back,
186
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,360
you shower of shit
bunch of little cunts!
187
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,400
Right, come on, give us that back.
Stop pushing me!
188
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:51,800
Get off!
189
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,080
Stupid fat man!
Leave me alone!
190
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,120
I don't like it!
191
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,520
HORN TOOTS
Oh, for God's sake!
192
00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:01,200
Sorry, kids, move out of the way.
Right, get up.
193
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,920
CHILD CRIES
Dylan!
194
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,200
Oh, my God.
Now, get him out.
195
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,720
Get him out. Someone spiked me.
Someone spiked me.
196
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,840
You absolutely stink.
I've broke me nose!
197
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,280
Check that out.
198
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,560
Is he proposing?
Mmm.
199
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,800
Oh, shit man, that is massive.
200
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,200
How do you fancy giving them two
lovebirds the best present ever?
201
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,640
Your cousin's wedding.
202
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:39,440
OK, listen up,
cos there's a lot to take in.
203
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,840
This is my bellend of a cousin
Sarim,
204
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,840
and this is the dickhead
he's marrying, Danika.
205
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,840
She's a Hindu girl and her family
want a traditional Hindi wedding,
206
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,040
which means it is gonna be massive.
207
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:52,040
Guys, we are talking
flashy as fuck! It looks amazing.
208
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,760
Hey, why don't you join in?
Double wedding. Piss off.
209
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,840
No, you do right, mate,
it's a prison.
210
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,560
Ring on your finger, before you know
it you're shuffling round Ikea
211
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,400
asking for permission
to see your own mates.
212
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,160
No flirting, no spontaneous sex,
213
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,040
not a fucking rat in hell's chance
of any anal.
214
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:08,920
All in the misguided pursuit
of companionship.
215
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,560
The stag do'll be fun, though.
Great.
216
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:14,880
Right, anyway...
217
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,280
These guys are gonna have
everything we need, OK?
218
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,760
Beautiful drapes, wedding dressing,
cutlery...
219
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,720
You name it,
this whole room is gonna be
220
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,360
all the colours of the bloody
rainbows, guys. Excellent.
221
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,240
Also, the gifts, yeah?
222
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,320
We're talking gold,
we're talking frankincense,
223
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,040
even bloody myrrh's
gonna be turning up.
224
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,760
Sounds amazing.
I feel bad for stealing it.
225
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,400
Yeah, well, don't,
because this guy...dickhead.
226
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,440
Won't there be 200 people there?
Exactly.
227
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,480
Which is why we need the knowledge
of our inside man. Go on, JJ.
228
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,440
To my mind, there's only one
perfect time to do the hit,
229
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,360
and that is the Baraat.
The what?
230
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:48,440
The Baraat. It is the groom's
wedding procession to the venue.
231
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,120
It's about half an hour long,
232
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,560
sometimes they come in
a flashy motor or a white horse.
233
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,680
And knowing this dickhead,
it'll be a white horse.
234
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:58,520
The procession gonna weave its way
down these country roads
235
00:10:58,560 --> 00:10:59,720
to the wedding venue.
236
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,320
The room's gonna be set up
and the wedding breakfast prepared.
237
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,800
So how do we get it out?
238
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,960
Yeah, all right, so, there's
a shitload of moving parts here.
239
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,440
We need to create a distraction
that draws everybody out
240
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:14,080
and it allows us to enter there,
look. 15 minutes to smash and grab.
241
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,720
It's a big fucking job, guys,
we all need to be on our A‐game.
242
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:20,280
That's right, cos this isn't just
for money, it's for love, all right?
243
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,120
It's for Carol and Cardi.
244
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,800
Hey to Carol and Cardi, eh?
ALL: Carol and Cardi.
245
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,200
PHONE RINGS
246
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,640
Shit.
247
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,080
Hello.
248
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,680
Get yourself over to the office now.
249
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,080
And don't tell anyone you're coming.
250
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,240
That's not good.
251
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,840
They've found his body.
252
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,040
Tony Tillerton.
253
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,640
Just his body.
254
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:11,200
No head.
255
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,560
Right.
You've fucked me, Vin.
256
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,600
You've bent me over
and fucked me up the arse
257
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,600
with a massive yellow dildo.
258
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,000
No. No, let me expl...
Shut the fuck up.
259
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,080
They've linked him to me.
260
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,640
I got arrested in my own home,
261
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,120
in front of my fucking daughters.
262
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,880
And the only reason why you're
not lying in a ditch right now
263
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:34,480
is that I can't risk
another dead body coming back to me.
264
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,560
I'm sorry. Fuck your sorry.
What happened?
265
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:40,600
We went to his house.
266
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,560
And‐And‐And he made fucking scones.
267
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:44,840
Straight from the oven.
268
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:47,400
And JJ shot his fucking peacock.
269
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,040
GUNSHOT
This is Struen.
270
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,520
So, we‐we, we get in the van...
271
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:54,480
These fucking guys
come out of nowhere.
272
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,480
SHOUTING
273
00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,640
So we followed 'em
274
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,760
and they started fucking shooting
at us. Like, actually shooting.
275
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,720
Fuck you!
Shit!
276
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,240
We've got Tony out the fucking
window shooting his gun off,
277
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,920
next thing you know,
his fucking head...
278
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,280
SHRIEKING
279
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,240
I mean, it was really shocking
280
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:16,480
and I know, I know
we should've told you the truth.
281
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,680
But you said
to bring him back safe,
282
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,840
and there's
his fucking head on the ground.
283
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,400
How'd you lose the body?
They stole it.
284
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,920
They just fucked off with it.
285
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:30,040
So I got a mate of ours to sew
that head on to another body.
286
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,960
WHIRRING
287
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,440
I know, I know it sounds,
it sounds fucked,
288
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,040
but he's a undertaker,
it's not as weird as it...
289
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,000
I lied to you, man...
290
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,160
..Mr McCann, and I'm sorry.
291
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:50,920
How fucked are we?
292
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:55,840
They found his body in the woods,
some family burying a goldfish.
293
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:56,880
SHE SCREAMS
294
00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,400
The police told the wife they
thought it was a professional hit.
295
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,520
They seized his computer.
296
00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:05,000
And all the work he did for me
was encrypted,
297
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,920
but the bastard was smart.
298
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:13,480
He'd left a special file, which
he'd hidden inside his own system.
299
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:20,960
Since 2012, I have worked for
a businessman, Mr Terence McCann.
300
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,920
However, during this time,
I became aware that
301
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:28,480
Mr McCann is a violent, unhinged,
psychotic monster.
302
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,120
Well, that's not true.
303
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:37,200
And when I tried to extract myself
from his services,
304
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:41,240
I became fearful for myself
and for my family.
305
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,560
Where's the head?
It's gone, I cremated it.
306
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,720
You'll have to destroy the van.
There'll be traces.
307
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:48,920
Done.
308
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:52,960
They've got nothing, on me, Vin.
That file won't convict me.
309
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:59,520
So, the only thing linking me to
that headless fucking corpse is you.
310
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,400
And your idiot friends.
311
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,600
Can you trust them?
312
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,520
Can you fucking trust them?
313
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,080
Yeah, yeah.
314
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,440
I hope so.
315
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:23,960
Fuck off.
316
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,320
# Are you ready for war?
317
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,960
# It's been a long time coming
318
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,120
# So we'll even the score
319
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,320
# Now the past is nothing
320
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,360
# Like lions, we roar
321
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,520
# We will live for something
322
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,360
# If we die by the sword
323
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,760
# It won't be for nothing
324
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,520
# What you've got to fight
325
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:56,440
# Will keep you running
For your life
326
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,960
# It's gonna get heavy
327
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,200
# We've gotta be ready... #
328
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,960
CHATTER
329
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,600
LAUGHTER
330
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:11,920
Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!
331
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,280
LAUGHTER
332
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,360
All right, I'll wear this,
but that's it.
333
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,400
If anyone's got a chocolate cock,
penis slippers
334
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,440
or a duck with a dick,
you can take him home.
335
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,240
You lot go your way, we'll go ours,
meet back here at eight, yeah?
336
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,840
Argh!
337
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,280
Don't get too pissed.
338
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,960
All right, so no intentional
aiming at the dick.
339
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,240
If it's accidental, we'll let it go.
340
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,120
Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
341
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,800
Go!
342
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,400
MUSIC: 'Teenage Kicks'
by The Undertones
343
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,360
# Are teenage dreams
So hard to beat?
344
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,040
# Every time she walks down
The street
345
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,280
# Another girl in the neighbourhood
346
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,720
# Wish she was mine
She looks so good
347
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:15,000
# I wanna hold her
Wanna hold her tight
348
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,960
# Get teenage kicks
Right through the night
349
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,640
# I'm gonna call her
On the telephone
350
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,320
# Have her over
Cos I'm all alone
351
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:29,760
# I need excitement
Oh, I need it bad
352
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,480
# And it's the best I've ever had
353
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,000
# I wanna hold you
Wanna hold you tight
354
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:40,200
# Get teenage kicks
Right through the night, all right
355
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,840
# Another girl in the neighbourhood
356
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,280
# Wish she was mine
She looks so good
357
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,440
# I wanna hold you
Wanna hold you tight
358
00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:01,600
# Get teenage kicks
Right through the night
359
00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,880
# I'm gonna call her
On the telephone
360
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,240
# Have her over
Cos I'm all alone
361
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:11,600
# I need excitement
Oh, I need it bad
362
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,680
# And it's the best I've ever had
363
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,360
# I wanna hold you
Wanna hold you tight
364
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,800
# Get teenage kicks
right through the night
365
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,640
# All right. #
366
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,520
# Get your rocks off,
get your rocks off, honey
367
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,560
# Shake 'em, now‐now...
368
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,600
Where's my stripper?
369
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,120
No can do, sunshine, #MeToo.
370
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,600
No,
hashtag you run a s‐s‐strip club.
371
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,640
I run a classy adult entertainment
venue, mate.
372
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,720
I draw the line at some ropey bird
squirting cream on her tits.
373
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,680
Hey, so the van's all sorted.
I bought the coloured smoke.
374
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:54,000
Tommo's obviously good
for cop uniforms, so we're golden.
375
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,160
Good.
376
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,360
Listen, come here.
377
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,440
Don't tell the others.
378
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,440
Do you remember that geezer
who got his head taken off?
379
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,200
What geezer?
What fuck...?
380
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:07,560
Fuck sake... How the fuck
do you not remember that?
381
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,880
Hilarious.
Really funny.
382
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,240
Listen, the cops are all over it,
right?
383
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,200
And we can't afford any link with us
and that fucking body,
384
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,600
so we're gonna have to crush
the Rascal, you know. Shit.
385
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,720
I know, man.
I fucking love that van, too.
386
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,840
Fuck the bloody van.
The cops, the body...
387
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,080
I wasn't supposed to be on that
fucking trip
388
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:28,160
and you dragged me into it.
Just don't start that shit again.
389
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,080
I don't wanna go to prison, Vin,
all right?
390
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:33,200
Maybe we shouldn't steal this
wedding, yeah?
391
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,640
Maybe this is just a sign for us
to just keep our heads down. Shit.
392
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,320
Fucking shit.
No. No. No.
393
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,080
Hey, what you doing here?
394
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:42,240
I've come to see Dylan.
No. No. Come on. Don't.
395
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,240
Don't do this to yourself.
Vinnie, I...
396
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,160
No, no, just listen.
You're gonna get upset.
397
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,520
Just come and have a chat with me.
I don't want a chat.
398
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:50,880
But I've got...
I've got a spliff.
399
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,160
A spliff.
400
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,560
Come and have a smoke and a chat.
Right.
401
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,600
You see,
what you've got to understand
402
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,880
is Dyl and Erin,
they've been together for ever.
403
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,000
I mean,
we always thought they would be,
404
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,120
but then the universe
just went apeshit.
405
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:07,120
I mean, split 'em apart, you know.
And when you look at it like that,
406
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,520
you and Dyl should never
really have even met.
407
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,160
You shouldn't have done.
I mean, fucking plumbing.
408
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,520
His heart's not in plumbing,
he only did that to impress Erin.
409
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,560
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
410
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,800
No, I mean,
I hear what you're saying.
411
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,640
There's just one slight problem
with your theory. Mm?
412
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,360
It's horseshit.
Is it?
413
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,320
Well, go on.
414
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:29,840
Think about it.
415
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,120
All those years they were together
and he never properly moved in.
416
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,280
He never made any commitment
that he couldn't back out of.
417
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:42,400
I mean, if you love someone,
you wanna commit.
418
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,680
You want them in your life
419
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:48,640
and the thought of them not being,
that fills you with...
420
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,040
..with panic.
421
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,640
Hmm.
No?
422
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,160
Hmm.
423
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,120
Very wise.
424
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,640
Well, I am.
425
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,760
You're young.
426
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,480
Do you know what I mean?
427
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,080
I mean, fucking hell, you've got
your whole life ahead of you.
428
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:11,440
Why the fuck do you want
to get serious with Dyl?
429
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,160
Cos I love him.
430
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:18,680
I don't think you do.
431
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,600
I do, Vinnie.
432
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,400
I love him.
433
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:24,880
Right?
434
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,080
Right.
435
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:27,400
I'm sorry.
436
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,160
I'm sorry.
I don't want your hugs, Vinnie.
437
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,440
I just wanna know
how he could do this to me.
438
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,280
Is it cos of my dad?
439
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,480
Your dad?
440
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:41,000
Yeah, my dad. He's a copper.
441
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,480
Has he not told you that?
442
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,080
No.
443
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,240
He's a copper and you're all...
444
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,760
..whatever you are.
We're not anything.
445
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:58,560
Right.
446
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,800
OK.
447
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,280
He has told me things, you know.
Mm‐hm.
448
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,160
Like what?
449
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:11,760
Like loads.
450
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:14,720
The weed shed.
451
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,280
The circus.
452
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,120
Anything else?
453
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,120
Plenty.
454
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,360
I'm not pissing around,
what's he told you?
455
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:29,880
I don't know, Vin.
456
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:33,000
Listen to me.
457
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,400
You have no idea
what you're dealing with here.
458
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,080
Tell me what he's told you, Sara.
459
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,680
Nothing.
460
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,200
All right?
461
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:45,720
Jesus.
462
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,560
Don't lose your head.
463
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:53,880
Fuck!
464
00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:05,080
I'm gonna get you up now.
465
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:07,240
It's a special day today, Carol,
am I right?
466
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,280
CHEERING
467
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,920
WOMEN CHANT: Carol! Carol! Carol!
468
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,040
Carol, we are gonna
rock your world, baby.
469
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,840
Come on, boys.
470
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,120
CHEERING
471
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,280
Hey! Hey!
What the fuck have you told Sara?
472
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,160
What?
You heard what I fucking...
473
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:27,520
So, what've you told her?
474
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,960
When you've had a drink,
you're a fucking blabbermouth.
475
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,320
What have you said?
Noth... Fucking nothing.
476
00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:35,280
I swear to God, I'll put you
through the fucking wall, Dylan.
477
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,440
Fucking stop that, all right?
I'll tell you what.
478
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,280
I'll rephrase it for you.
Have you told her about Tillerton?
479
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,640
Who? Have you told her about
fucking Tillerton?
480
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,320
The guy who got his head taken off.
481
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:46,040
No.
Oi.
482
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,960
Look me in the eye
and tell me you haven't told her.
483
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,040
Tell me you haven't said anything,
Dyl.
484
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:54,840
I‐I‐I can't remember.
You fucking idiot!
485
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:56,960
Dude, it's not...
You don't have to worry.
486
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,600
Her fucking dad's a copper, Dyl!
487
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,320
You know she's fucking heartbroken.
Pissed off.
488
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:04,960
And right now,
if she can get one over on you,
489
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,200
that's exactly what she's gonna do.
490
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,000
You know, fuck, it's all linked.
491
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,680
The fucking cops know McCann's
a part of that fucking murder.
492
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,680
We can't have it coming back on us,
Dylan.
493
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,600
Oh, fuck, fuck.
Christ. Shit.
494
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,360
Oh, fuck, my heart.
Fuck your heat, you knobhead.
495
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,160
Er, what are we gonna do?
I don't fucking know.
496
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,000
I'll tell you what
you're gonna fucking do.
497
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:30,160
You're gonna go out there, find her
and you're gonna make it right.
498
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,000
How?
I don't fucking know, Dylan.
499
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,240
But if you don't make it right and
she fucking blabs, we're fucked!
500
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,720
All going to jail!
No, I, er...
501
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,520
No, I can't, I can't do that.
What?
502
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,080
Cos I'm fucking back with Erin.
What am I supposed to say to her?
503
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:45,840
I don't give a fuck, Dylan.
I don't give a fuck!
504
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,400
It's your mess,
go and fucking clean it.
505
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,760
I swear to God, you fucking go now,
else I'll fucking bury you. Right.
506
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:53,800
Jesus, fucking...!
507
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:55,920
Dickhead!
508
00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,320
Everything all right?
509
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:03,600
# I'm taking a ride
With my best friend
510
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:12,640
# I hope he never
Lets me down again
511
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:21,720
# Promises me I'm as safe as houses
512
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:26,240
# As long as I remember
Who's wearing the trousers
513
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:31,360
# I hope he never lets me down again
514
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,400
# We're flying high
515
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:42,880
# We're watching the world
Pass us by
516
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,320
# Never want to come down
517
00:25:47,360 --> 00:25:50,400
# Never want to put my feet
Back down... #
518
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:51,920
Hey.
Hey.
519
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:59,000
MUSIC: 'Here For You'
by Jan Cyrka & James Graydon
520
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:04,400
Dylan?
521
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,000
You fat fuck.
522
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,360
Are you all right, Sarim?
Er, are you nervous?
523
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,120
Nervous?
Nerves are for wimps.
524
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,360
I've got a beautiful woman, JJ.
525
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:50,720
She can cook.
She can suck.
526
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,400
Goes like a train, thanks for
asking. I didn't ask, actually.
527
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,640
I don't want you using that image
for when you're alone.
528
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,240
Keep her out of there, JJ.
529
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,280
She's family from today, man.
530
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:02,200
She's not really my type actually,
Sarim.
531
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,120
What you saying?
Nothing. She's lovely.
532
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,680
Are you saying she's a munter?
What? I didn't say that!
533
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,400
Where the fuck's your bird, JJ?
534
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,560
Oh, yeah, you've not got one,
535
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,680
because you're
a used‐to‐be fat fucking freak
536
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,200
who gets his hots from hooking fish.
537
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,640
Anyway, you have a nice day.
538
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,640
I think we're about to start
in a second.
539
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,880
What a dick.
Yeah, I know.
540
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,520
And he's always coming at me,
and none of you lot say anything.
541
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,200
OK, let's go and get married.
542
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,760
CHEERING
543
00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:40,320
HE SIGHS HEAVILY
544
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:43,440
Right, get in positions.
The baraat's getting started.
545
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,240
Jacklapatty.
546
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,000
Jacklapatty right back at you, dude.
I'm assuming that's good luck.
547
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,600
Mind you, he could be telling me
to fuck myself. Right, we're on.
548
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,440
Are you ready, yeah?
Ready like Eddie.
549
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,760
Who's Eddie?
A bloke I used to know.
550
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:01,000
Very attractive wife.
Surprisingly supple.
551
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,960
Still no word from Dyl?
No. No word.
552
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,800
CHEERING AND SINGING
553
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:33,120
Are you ready, Jimbo?
554
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:34,760
Oh, I was born ready.
555
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,520
I tell you what, Vin.
What?
556
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,920
If this all goes tits up,
I'm telling 'em that you coerced me.
557
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:41,080
Ah...
558
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,960
I'm gonna land all this shit
at your door... All right.
559
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,920
..and plead early dementia.
560
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,400
That'd be an easy sell, wouldn't it,
you silly old cunt?
561
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:49,880
Well, fuck off.
562
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:51,760
Are you two sorted and all?
Grand, yeah.
563
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:52,880
Sick.
564
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,640
Right, do you wanna be
good cop or bad cop?
565
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:58,240
I want to be "let's get this done
quick and not fuck it up" cop.
566
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,960
What am I supposed to do with that?
567
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,560
Tuck it in.
568
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,440
So I'll be in a nursing home
getting pampered,
569
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,480
while you'll be in Broadmoor
getting bummed.
570
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,240
Will you just fuck off?
571
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,960
Christ!
572
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,800
Sorry I'm late.
573
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,920
Where have you been?
Oh, I just got wasted.
574
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,200
I had to go home.
Got hammered didn't you?
575
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,040
I puked and then passed out.
576
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,040
Go and get your hi‐vis out, right.
Sorry.
577
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,000
Dyl...
Yeah?
578
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,840
Is it sorted?
579
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:26,480
Sorted.
580
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,000
PHONE JINGLE PLAYS
581
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,440
Hi there. Where's your boss?
In the back.
582
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,160
That's not clean.
583
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,680
Thank you.
584
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:02,160
Gentlemen, riddle me this.
585
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:04,280
Who's in charge here?
586
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:07,480
Paulo.
He's in the bathroom.
587
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:09,640
Well, how long will he be?
588
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,080
Not sure.
589
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,480
Has he been long already?
Will he be opening his bowel?
590
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,600
I'm not sure.
I don't really know, I just...
591
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:20,760
Well, listen up. There's been
a very serious threat on the hotel.
592
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,480
We need you and you to file out
into the car park.
593
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,640
Right out to the restaurant there,
please. There you go.
594
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,640
Get you!
Go!
595
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:31,920
Paulo!
596
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,480
I bet it's a shit.
597
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,480
DRUMMING
598
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,040
SIREN RINGTONE
599
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,080
JJ: Jim, it's show time.
600
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,000
Fucking right.
601
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:03,440
Attaboy.
602
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,560
Come on, come to Daddy.
603
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:07,560
Cheers!
604
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:13,440
Aw, God!
605
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,520
Oh, my God!
606
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,440
Oi, stop being in awe. Come on,
we've got to steal some shit.
607
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:20,920
I'm pretty sure this is it.
Pretty sure?
608
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,960
Yeah, like, 40 percent.
609
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,400
40 percent's good.
610
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:28,840
THEY GASP
611
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:29,960
Fucking hell.
612
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,720
I'm jealous.
Me, too.
613
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,400
Right, that's it, if I ever get
married, I'm marrying an Indian.
614
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,760
Thank you.
Form a nice, straight line here
615
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:57,840
and stay well away
from the building, please.
616
00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:58,880
What the fuck?
617
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:00,480
Shit!
What?
618
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,160
I know him.
What?
619
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:03,960
I've spanked him.
620
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,160
Take over. Excuse me, sir,
are you the manager here?
621
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:07,720
Yes.
622
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,120
And I have a wedding to prepare.
623
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,080
Why are my staff
not in the fucking kitchen?
624
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:14,880
There's been a bomb threat, OK?
625
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,040
So we've had to excavate the
building. A bomb threat?
626
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,280
A bomb threat
on a remote manor house?
627
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,040
That's what we were told, yeah.
No.
628
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:23,200
So were taking it very serious.
This is bullshit, OK?
629
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,680
Look, Mumbai ragda patties.
630
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,440
Dahi puri.
631
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,040
Bomb?
632
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,200
No.
Right.
633
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:31,680
I don't see one.
I understand.
634
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,080
Oh, is that it?
No, it's kati roll.
635
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,960
Ah! Bomb?
636
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,960
No, it's masala vada.
637
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,320
Or this?
I understand.
638
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,240
Bomb?
No, cocktail fucking kachori!
639
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,160
Sir, I understand,
but we have to take this seriously,
640
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,280
so could you please
es‐cavate the building?
641
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,320
What the hell is he doing?
642
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,120
He's patrolling for bombs.
643
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,280
Excuse me, sir...
Hey, you!
644
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,920
You! I want to talk to you.
645
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,040
Who, me?
Tommo?
646
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:04,240
Er, Paulo.
647
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,000
HE CHUCKLES
Good to see you, mate.
648
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,760
What a lovely surprise.
What the fuck?
649
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,480
Yes, er, I'm a policeman now.
650
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,000
Since when?
Well, er, recently.
651
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:18,560
I was training up in, erm, Hendon.
652
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,800
I heard you were running
The Rat & Cutter.
653
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,320
It's, er...
That's rumours, mate.
654
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,480
It's actually quite serious, this,
the bomb threat.
655
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,920
Yeah, yeah, actually, they used
a codeword and everything, so...
656
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:32,600
And they didn't bring
the Bomb Squad?
657
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,360
Just you two.
658
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,480
Cutbacks, innit?
You know, it's...
659
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,200
It's criminal, really.
660
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:40,280
HE LAUGHS
Ironically.
661
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,080
No, it's serious, though, isn't it?
662
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,600
I'm calling the police.
Oh, Paolo...
663
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,040
No, no, we are the police.
You don't have to call them.
664
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,480
Bullshit, Tommo, OK?
665
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,680
You made a lemon sorbet
from my cum.
666
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:56,960
You're not a policeman now.
Paulo...
667
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,480
..my sorbet days are behind me.
And...
668
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,760
..you're too fucking small.
669
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,360
What the fuck?
670
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,000
Aarrgghh!
671
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:30,960
No. No. No. No.
672
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:57,840
We have to go.
The cops are coming.
673
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,720
Fuck. Why? The head chef,
he recognised Tommo.
674
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:02,840
Where...?
Where the fuck from?
675
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:04,520
They made jizz puddings together.
676
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,240
Oh, of course they fucking have!
They're on their way now.
677
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:08,800
Go and nick the rest of the shit.
678
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,560
I'm gonna tie her up.
679
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,040
I'll tie her up.
I'll tie her.
680
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,000
NEIGHING
681
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:00,360
Argh!
682
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:03,680
Sarim!
683
00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:04,840
Sarim...
684
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,840
Oh, man, you shoulder, it looks
dislocated. Here, I'll fix it.
685
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,440
Ami, come here.
686
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,640
Keep your hand on his shoulder,
no matter what he says.
687
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:12,880
Don't lift it up.
688
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,560
Quick!
689
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:25,040
Come on, Vinnie, get in the car!
690
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:26,200
Come on!
691
00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:28,320
Faster! Just fucking go!
692
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,200
SUGAR: There's Jim, slow down!
693
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:46,160
What took you?
694
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,480
JIM: Only a fucking woman
would say that.
695
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,560
You see,
this is why I've never got wed.
696
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,800
Shit like this.
Is that the only reason?
697
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,280
Hey,
I've had plenty of offers, love.
698
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,440
MUSIC: 'Beyond'
by Leon Bridges Amour
699
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:15,680
# Don't wanna get ahead of myself
700
00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:18,040
# Feeling things I've never felt
701
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:21,920
# It's kinda hard for me to explain
702
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:26,680
# Her personality and everything
703
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,160
# Brings me to my knees, oh
704
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:34,320
# She shines me up like gold
On my arm
705
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,480
# I wanna take it slow
But it's so hard... #
706
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,200
Are you all right, love?
707
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:45,680
It's m‐m‐my last day
as a s‐s‐single man, you know.
708
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:46,840
Yeah.
709
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:51,000
Well, it's not all
it's cracked up to be, you know.
710
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:52,800
I'm fucking miserable.
711
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,680
THEY BOTH LAUGH
712
00:37:55,720 --> 00:37:57,680
You love her, man.
713
00:37:57,720 --> 00:37:59,520
And she loves you.
714
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,960
You've got to hang on to that,
haven't you?
715
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,280
I'm proud of you, Cardi.
716
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,120
Thanks, mate.
Come and give me a love.
717
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,040
You know it won't change owt.
I'll still be here.
718
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,480
I'll still be part of everything.
I know you will.
719
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:21,960
Yeah.
I know.
720
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,440
It's all right.
721
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,680
Are you gonna come
and check your wedding out?
722
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,160
Hm?
723
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:29,840
Yeah.
Come on.
724
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:34,160
Bejewelled, eh?
Yeah, fucking Carol made it.
725
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,600
# I know that Grandma
Would've loved her...
726
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,200
It's time.
727
00:38:38,240 --> 00:38:41,240
# Like she was her own
728
00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:47,880
# She makes me feel at home, oh
729
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:49,160
Ready?
730
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,800
One. Two. Three.
731
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,240
# Do you think I'm being foolish
If I don't rush in?
732
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:55,800
CHEERING
733
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,960
# I'm scared to death
That she might be it
734
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,200
# That the love is real
That the shoe might fit
735
00:39:05,240 --> 00:39:09,280
# She might just be my everything
And beyond
736
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:14,960
# Beyond space and time
In the afterlife
737
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,000
# Will she have my kids?
Will she be my wife?
738
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:21,960
# She might just be my everything
And beyond... #
739
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,200
CARDI: Bloody hell! Who's done that
to Nigel? He looks fucking ace!
740
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:28,640
So...
Yeah?
741
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,200
Are you gonna tell me
what really happened last night?
742
00:39:31,240 --> 00:39:32,840
Er, nothing.
743
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,440
Why don't I believe you?
744
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,120
Look, Erin,
honestly, it was nothing.
745
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:40,520
Right?
746
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:41,840
I promise.
OK.
747
00:39:43,720 --> 00:39:46,640
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
748
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:50,480
to witness the union
of Carol Dennings and Cardi.
749
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:52,080
CHEERING
750
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:55,880
Or, if we're to use his proper first
name, it's actually Leslie Titt.
751
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,800
LAUGHTER
752
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,280
The joining together of two people,
753
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:02,360
spending the rest of their lives
together,
754
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:03,920
is to be respected.
755
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,960
Trust me, as an undertaker,
756
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:12,200
I've seen many marriages end
in violence, misery and murder...
757
00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:15,680
So if any persons here present
know of any reason
758
00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:19,280
why these two people should not be
joined together in holy wedlock...
759
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:24,200
..can you please speak now
or forever hold your peace?
760
00:40:24,240 --> 00:40:25,560
Yeah, me!
761
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,480
Nah, I'm only kidding.
Carry on.
762
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:31,600
Mind you, 50 percent do end
in divorce, so you're probably...
763
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:32,800
Sit down.
764
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:36,280
He's making a good point,
but let's continue on, right so.
765
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,480
May we have the bridesmaid
and the best man
766
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,880
come forth and provide the rings?
Thank you.
767
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:47,360
Just answer as I ask, OK.
Yes.
768
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:52,040
Do you, Carol Cassandra Dennings
take this man Leslie Arthur Titt...?
769
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,960
..in sickness and in health?
Police!
770
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,160
Armed police!
Nobody move!
771
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:06,760
SHOUTING
772
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:08,400
Vincent O'Neill.
773
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:10,040
Nobody move!
774
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,920
Vincent O' Neill, we are arresting
you on conspiracy to murder.
775
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,760
You do not have to say anything,
but it may harm your defence
776
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,160
if you fail to mention,
when questioned,
777
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,520
something which you later rely on
in court.
778
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,760
No, you don't understand. He's my
best friend. It's m‐m‐my wedding!
779
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:26,600
Cardi... Cardi, love...
780
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,080
Just go back inside.
Go back inside.
781
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:42,600
You're making a mistake!
782
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:45,440
Just give me...
Just give me 30 seconds.
783
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:47,200
You've got me now.
784
00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:48,560
Just 30 seconds.
785
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:52,480
Erin, I know you don't.
786
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:56,400
But I do.
787
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,800
And if there was a button,
I'd press it.
788
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:02,000
I know it's wrong.
789
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:05,800
But you're the first thing
in the morning...
790
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,160
..and you're the last thing at
night.
791
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,240
I just...
792
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,880
I don't know how to tell you
how much you mean to me.
793
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,440
Tell Tyler I love him.
794
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:22,480
Vinnie...
795
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:28,400
SHE WHISPERS
796
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:35,600
MUSIC: 'I Want Her To Love Me'
by The Larks
797
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:43,280
# I suppose
798
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:46,800
# She'll come my way
799
00:42:48,240 --> 00:42:52,680
# I want her to love me
800
00:42:52,720 --> 00:42:55,920
# Until our dying days
801
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,840
# I want her to...
802
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,360
# Love me
803
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:02,240
# I want her to...
804
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:05,800
# Love me
805
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:12,320
# That's the way it's gotta be
806
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,200
# I don't know
807
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:22,000
# Just where it'll end
808
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:26,160
# But when she comes to me
809
00:43:27,240 --> 00:43:30,320
# A lot of happiness
She's gonna bring
810
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:32,520
# I just want her to...
811
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:34,920
# Love me
812
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:38,360
# I just want her to love me... #
813
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,360
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