All language subtitles for call_the_midwife.3x09.christmas_special.720p_hdtv_x264-fov

'Christmas comes at
the closing of the year.

'It is a time for reaching out,
looking back,

'finding comfort in the
magic of a season that endures.

'It is when we take stock,

'when we measure joy and pain.

'It is when we say this is who
we are, what we have now become,

'and when we acknowledge
what we cherish most of all.'

Philip?

I can't find it anywhere!

Are they in the box with
the tree lights?

I would never put it in there!

Why would I?

It's a china ornament!

It doesn't go on the tree,
it goes on the mantelpiece!

Er, perhaps the holly will be
enough.

It's even got some
berries on it this year.

Anyway, I'll soon get you
a nice blaze going.

I don't know - I'm not sure
if I'm a fool, or a romantic

or a creature of routine.

Last two.

Once a nurse, always a nurse.

We were so young.

Well, Sister Monica Joan must have
been 80-odd, even then.

I think the word I'm looking for is
"innocent".

Oh, we knew things, I'd seen things,

things I'd never seen before
and never since, but...

.. we had a way at looking
the future in the eye.

Not frightened at all,
only the young do that.

I wish I could find that ornament.

'A Christmas card seems such
a frail sort of missive.

'A scrap of coloured paper
folded to enclose

'a scant few words of greeting

'and if love is meant and not just
included for the sake of form,

'a little line of kisses,
neat and faint

'as the prints of birds on snow.'

A card from Jenny.

Lovely!

Keep on going round!

And round again, skipping as high as
you can because we need to make sure

those headdresses stay on during the
actual performance.

~ Higher than that, please, Maxine!
~ I can't see where I'm going!

Well, keep on following Beverley.
Beverley, you're doing splendidly!

Keep going.

Oh!

Right, that's enough. That's enough.

Will all snowflakes please STOP
dancing and stay where you are

until Nurse Franklin has had a
look at your headdresses

and considered the case for a few
more kirby grips, perhaps?

I strongly suspect there aren't
enough kirby grips in the world.

How are you getting along with
the snow?

~ We've cut up enough for a small
blizzard. ~ Afternoon!

Oh, Fred!
You've come about your costume.

No.

I've come about the leaky tap.

Nurse Franklin, I can't believe you
just did that.

What?

Referred to my costume
when all the kiddies could hear you!

I didn't say what the costume was.

Well, they know I'm
not in the concert!

They know I'm not in the Ballet of
the Snowflakes

or the Donkey's Tap Dance.

Do you want a crimson velvet
Santa suit,

or a corduroy one that's
a bit more scarlet?

You're cutting it a bit fine!

I thought this was a fitting, not me
being measured up from scratch.

Fred, why are you making
such a fuss?

Everybody knows you're not
the real Father Christmas.

~ You're just helping him out!
~ Exactly!

I don't want to see any disappointed
faces when I come in with my sack.

Helping out the big fella from the
North Pole is a sacred undertaking.

To me, if not to you.

O Attic shape!

Fair attitude!

With brede of marble men
and maidens overwrought

With forest branches
and the trodden weed...

Is that Keats, Sister Monica Joan?

There is no end to your perspicacity

since you commenced walking out
with a clergyman.

I did not think your mind could
keep abreast of his,

but I was wrong.

I was just thinking what a good thing
it was, that the crib was in its box

when the bomb went off,

~ but one of the figurines must
have been broken. ~ Oh, no.

Run it under the tap, quickly.

Oh! It is the sheep.

And it is shattered.

When will Herr Hitler
cease his sport with us?

That's Mona Woollnet done and
dusted. Little boy, name of Noel.

That's rather jolly.

We get Noels every year.
Noels, Robins, Hollies, Carols.

You can set your watch by them.

Why isn't the autoclave on?
Look at all these instruments!

Nurse Miller, I want this rectified.

Sister, I'm sorry, I'm expected in
Sister Julienne's office in a moment.

Course you are. Off you pop.

~ Thank you, Sister. ~ Autoclave!

After which, you can
adjust your list

because I'm breaking into this
bottle of Milk of Magnesia.

~ Of course. ~ Patients will press
snacks on you this time of year.

I gave in to a piece of sherry log,
keeps repeating on me.

Mmm...

And lo!

A star was seen in the east,

and the donkey ears were
found behind the bar.

~ Where's Freddie? ~ I put him down for
a nap. His cough's been rotten.

Poor little soldier!

I can smell the ale on them
from here.

Tom Hereward confessed to a bit
of larking about at the youth club.

He left the keys to the bar
unattended.

He could be arrested for that.

"Failure to ensure the safety of
minors at a place of entertainment."

You do work so awfully hard.

I don't want to fail my sergeant's
exams again.

Peter, you say that as
if you've failed them annually

since time immemorial!
It's only been twice.

~ Twice so far.
~ You could get arrested for that.

Offence against the
Optimism Act, 1959.

Chapter 1, clause 1. "Failure to
demonstrate a backbone under fire."

Nurse Miller, I know how deeply
you've been considering this matter,

and I know how much you've been
questioning your heart

and how hard you've been praying.

How could I not, when once I
asked the same questions

and prayed the same prayers?

I thought I'd be certain by now.
It's been months.

Sometimes it takes years.

That's why we speak of
testing our vocation,

~ beginning with six months
as a postulant. ~ I know that.

I just... I don't know why I'm
feeling this call. This longing.

Cynthia, you may take as long as you
need to discern

what God wills for you.

But there will be several
other postulants

joining the order at the New Year,
and there is a place for you

~ beside them,
if you wish to take it up. ~ I see.

If you're not ready,
there will be other possibilities.

In another 12 months,
or possibly two years.

Sister Julienne.

Will you pray for me?

Always.

Go on, let me
see how big yours are now.

~ Happy Christmas, Nurse.
~ Liqueur chocolates! How decadent.

And a urine sample.

You are kind(!)

Shelagh, she's put on another pound.

She's doing so well.

I feel like the luckiest
woman alive.

Ah, all my prayers were answered.

Just not in the way I expected.

A little bird tells me that a
certain young lady

has come for her vaccinations!

And she can come right to the
front of the queue.

Patrick,
she'll catch her death of cold.

He's years older than her.
Gives me the creeps.

Handkerchief, Denise.

I've forgotten it.

You think at 16 they're
all grown up.

They'll start thinking for
themselves.

Using their common sense.

You stop asking
if they've remembered their hanky.

I haven't got mine either.
You'll have to do without.

Here you are.

Wipe your eyes
and have a good blow, old thing.

Now, it's not often we're able to
refer our mothers-to-be

to Astor Lodge, but by all accounts
it's absolutely splendid.

They only take 12 girls at a time,

and the matron there runs
it as a proper home from home.

How long will she have it with
her for? The child?

The general rule is that the little
ones are cared for by their mothers

until the first stage of adoption
goes through.

That's usually accomplished
within six weeks.

I'm leaving mine at the hospital.

I told the social worker -
I don't want to see it,

I don't want to touch it.
I'm handing it over and that's that.

And where's your mother?

Yes, that's in your notes.

Nurse Mount will accompany
you on the bus, and then hand over

all your paperwork to Sister Maltby
when you arrive.

I hope there's not a long
walk at the other end.

I've got a Dansette to
carry as well as a suitcase.

You'd think you
were on your way to Butlins.

Butlins?

I don't think so.

I'm more of a St Moritz girl, me,
that's why I'm wearing my mink hat.

That's never mink.

Chocks away, I think!

Let's not smoke
in the street, Avril.

I'd finished it, in any case.

~ Are we slipping out the side way?
~ I think it's for the best.

She's never been
away from home before.

I'm still hoping nobody'll find
out where she's gone.

When Denise comes back,
she can make a fresh start.

And from experience, no-one will ask
any difficult questions.

At least she won't make the same
mistake again... will she?

I'm sure she won't.

Come get your Christmas tree!

Right, come get your
Christmas tree! Freshly cut...

What are you doing here, Sister?

You deem me
incognisant of your purpose,

but I fear that were I to let you
perform your task unsupervised,

Nonnatus would receive a very
sorry tree indeed.

But Sister Monica Joan, Sister
Julienne, she's put her foot down.

"Nothing too ostentatious,"
she said.

There is no ostentation
in appropriate proportion,

only in vulgar ornaments
and excess trim.

Look after the lady and gentleman,
please, Victor.

I require a tree.

It should be neither too slender
nor too squat,

of equal symmetry

and smell pleasingly of pine.

These all smell of pine.
They are pine.

Apart from the spruces.

Then you may exhibit them
to myself and my assistant.

Now, she can have any tree
she wants.

You helped deliver my daughter
Ingrid, Sister.

Boiling-hot weather,
two doodle-bug raids.

'Ere, my missus still laughs about

how you had to fan her with her
ration book.

Check the ticket when she's picks
one, then halve the price.

Are these obtained from Germany
or from Norway?

I don't know, madam.
I'm only casual labour.

I would very much prefer a tree that
sprang from Allied soil.

I'm sorry about my mum. I think
your hat's lovely.

I'm particular about what I wear.

I worked in a dress shop up
Roman Road before I started showing.

~ It was my grandma's.
~ Come along. I'll stow the bags.

You get on board and choose
some seats.

Oh, and your ma's right,
it ain't mink. It's musquash.

What's musquash?

It's like a sort of weasel...
only smarter.

I'm scared now.

I'm not. I've heard good things
about these mother-and-baby homes.

And God knows,
I need a bleeding rest.

The parlour corner?

It certainly is
a tremendous-looking specimen...

.. but are you sure
it isn't a little big?

I secured an advantageous price

and increased the scale
of our purchase accordingly.

You can put it down there, mate.

Isn't it wonderful?

~ Thank you very much.
Thank you. ~ Thank you.

(Here...)

Bag up some of these
mince pies for him.

They'll still be sticking
to his ribs come Christmas Eve.

I don't know what Mrs B
is putting in that pastry.

Excuse me!

Sir!

We thought you might enjoy
a few mince pies.

They're still warm.
I can feel 'em through the bag.

Yes.

Happy Christmas.

Are you absolutely sure you can't
just take it back to the market

and swap it?

Well, I can't now.

You're late.
You said five o'clock!

I got a full day down the market.

And a treat!

I done all right.

We'll keep some back for the meter

and the rest is going in here.

We'll fill it up in no time.

We haven't got no time,
though, have we?

We've got about... four months?

Or five months?

Light the fire, eh?

Like you always do
when you come home.

It certainly seems rather desolate.

I've never actually been before.

Makes sense, though, don't it?

We're being hidden away
from society's gaze.

I've been hidden away
from society's gaze, anyway.

My mum hasn't let me out
without a coat on for four months!

And not a bleedin'
fairy light in sight, neither.

Good afternoon?

That's enough, thank you.

We don't touch other people's
babies at Astor Lodge.

Hygiene regulations.

I'm an absolute tartar when it comes
to cleanliness. Follow me.

Your cockatiel's pulling its
feathers out.

That's a sign
of illness in a bird.

I've brought both the girls' notes,
Sister Maltby.

Avril Fox and Denise Henshaw.

Once you're happy
all the paperwork's in order,

~ I'll leave them in your charge.
~ Which of you is which?

I'm Avril Fox. Miss.

I think you'll find
everyone's a "miss" here.

And this is Denise.
She has mild anaemia.

She's been prescribed iron tablets,
but I think that...

I'll make sure she takes them.

The midwives and doctor
at the cottage hospital will assess

her need for any further
prescriptions.

The labour bell!
I have to get on, Nurse.

~ Thank you. ~ Of course.
~ I like to give the girls

~ my full attention once things get
underway. ~ All right.

Good luck.
Do let us know how it goes.

You won't hear
nothing from me, Nurse.

~ I'm putting all this behind me.
~ That's the spirit.

~ Which one of you is it?
~ It's Lena, Sister Maltby.

Get upstairs and fetch her bag.
I take it you did pack?

How many times
do I have to tell you?!

Bags in the hall from two weeks
before your due date. Hand!

Small.

That one looks about right.

Spare your blushes.

Follow me, you two.

Yvonne, he won't calm down
if you don't put him down.

You're there.

~ And you're there.
~ He knows what's coming up.

He can taste it in my milk.

The only thing
he can taste in your milk

is all the vitamins the National
Health are paying to put down you.

~ Isn't that right, little boy?
~ His name's Nicholas.

Stop indulging yourself and him.

You're making it harder
for both of you.

Well, welcome to The Grand Hotel(!)

Singing carols in the hospital
is always my favourite.

Look, is it childish to be excited
by the thought of snow

~ for Christmas? ~ Yes.

I rather think we ought
to save three pennies-worth

for Sister Winifred. We could leave
them on her bed for her to find

~ after compline. ~ I don't think
she'd actually thank us for them.

When she went back with the nuns,

she looked as happy to be with them
as we are to be together.

Yes, but it's hardly
a normal life for a young woman!

Or an old one, for that matter.

One bath a week,
chapel four times a day

and black-wool stockings
held up with elastic garters.

You're talking about the things
we can see,

not what goes on behind closed doors
or in her spiritual life.

~ It's what she feels called to do.
~ I can't argue with that.

Yes, Tom,
but you lead an ordinary life.

You wear ordinary clothes,
apart from your dog collar.

You live in an ordinary house and
you're free to do ordinary things,

like marry, if you want to.

I can't argue with that, either.

But what if Sister Winifred
didn't want just ordinary things?

What if she felt called
to try to live a different way?

Cynthia, you're getting
frightfully exercised by this.

Well... perhaps that's for a reason.

~ Oh, good grief. ~ I'm not sure.
I haven't made my final decision.

But the one thing I do know is
that grief doesn't come into it.

I feel as though I'm on the edge
of a truly great happiness.

Did you know about this?

Do come and talk to us
about it, Cynthia.

I promise Trixie isn't
in quite such a tizz now.

No. I don't want to discuss it.

I can't believe it's what
Cynthia really wants! I can't!

If she'd even had...one boyfriend.

If one man had so much as
asked her out to the cinema

or held her hand or taken her
in his arms and kissed her,

she wouldn't be in such a rush
to throw her life away!

Trixie, I'm as shocked as you,
but having a boyfriend

is NOT the be all and end all.

Besides, Cynthia doesn't seem
to be rushing into anything.

Do you suppose there's no hope
at all?

The trouble is...
it's our hope versus her faith...

.. and I'm not sure
that that's a fair fight.

Colin's got a silver tree.

His auntie sent it from America.

She was a GI bride.

Well, Colin and his family
clearly have very modern tastes.

~ Your father and I
are more traditional. ~ I know.

Timothy, a silver tree would just
look plain silly in our sitting room.

But, Mum, it would save money.

We'd be able to get
the same tree out every year,

and Angela would always
be able to say,

"This is the tree we got
the first Christmas I was born."

We're going to have a lovely spruce,
and that's the end of the matter.

If you like, you can choose some

slightly-modern ornaments
from Woolworth's later -

just to prove we aren't lagging
too far behind the times.

Oh! Watch the baby!

~ Victor! ~ I'm a trained nurse.
Help me to get him onto his side.

~ There's a risk that he might choke.
~ Some of the coal's burnt his leg.

Let me deal with the fit. Would
somebody ring for an ambulance?!

~ Harry, run to the phone box now!
~ It's all right.

It's all right.

I wish his dad could see him.

He's got a dad?

We wanted to get married,
but we aren't 21 yet

and our parents
wouldn't sign the papers.

What about you?

Oh, I packed mine in.

He used to come into my grandad's
pet shop to get seed for his budgies

but I reckon caged birds
were about his limit.

You'll start forming icicles
if you don't get a move on!

I'm really hot.
And I've got a headache.

Yvonne Corless!
Matron's office, please!

You'd think we were rowing
boats down Vicky Park lake.

~ "Come on, number three,
your time's up." ~ Pronto!

~ Oh, dear. A dummy?
~ He cries without it.

Miss French just called
to carry out final checks.

If you go upstairs
and set his clothes on the bed,

I'll be able to tell the parents
what clothes and bedding

to buy in ahead of his arrival.

He's due his feed in a minute.
Can I do that first?

Set his clothes out, Yvonne, dear.

Pronto!

Denise ain't feeling well.
She needs to see a doctor.

I'm sure it's nothing
a lie-down won't sort out.

Up you go.

And don't come down till teatime.

I would never give him a dummy.

I'd never put one in a mouth.

Thank you.
I'll ensure the doctor's made aware

and the duty district nurse.
That was the London.

A Mr Victor McKenty has been
discharged after a grand mal episode.

He suffered burns and will need
dressing changes.

The gentleman with the seizure -
he's one of our patients?

There's heat coming off you
like you're a radiator!

~ And you're covered in a rash!
~ Do you reckon it's my anaemia?

Well, you're pale enough.

But this is all over your neck...
and behind your ears.

It's like blisters!

No.

No!

Nicholas! No...

No, you can't take him!

No! You can't take him!

~ She can't take him! She can't!
~ She can! You've signed the papers!

You didn't say it would be today!

You didn't say I wouldn't be able
to say goodbye

or feed him one last time...

It was time for his feed.

He'll wonder where I am.

I've had words about indulgence
with you in the past!

I remember Victor McKenty.

He was discharged from
the Countess of Irby Mental Home,

after the powers that be
closed it down.

1933. Aged 16 years.

You only saw him once, in September.

You re-prescribed phenobarbitone.
He had a routine appointment

booked for the end of November
but he missed it.

The secretary
should have noticed that.

Does he need the dose changing?

I suspect what he really needs

~ is help in organising the routine.
~ Poor soul.

Why would you do that?

Why would you take a baby like that?

Because it prevents
distressing scenes!

I suggest you take Yvonne
a cup of tea.

I'm going to sit here quietly
and have some hot milk.

Have one for me, while you're at it.

And you needn't think
I can't smell that gin.

Put that receiver down this instant!

Regulations state that residents
are not permitted to make calls.

Is that the operator?

I want to be put through to Nonnatus
House, Wick Street, Poplar.

Pronto.

I reckon you're going
to find the regulations state

all sorts of things -
like not drinking on the job,

like keeping the place clean,

like making sure people get

the doctor sent for
when they're ill.

Nonnatus House. Midwife speaking.

Is that the posh one with the ginger
hair or the one with the glasses?

~ The one with the glasses.
~ Well...

.. I've got news for you.

Avril was adamant that Denise
Henshaw had a rash and a fever.

They're the only two on our books,
but she said some of the girls

haven't seen a midwife
or doctor for weeks.

Do you think
she might have German measles?

Hello, old bean.

He's coming along for the ride.

To the mother-and-baby home?

It's all right. I quite fancy
a bit of moral contagion.

That's enough, Tim.

I don't think I need to change
this today, Mr McKenty.

I'll come back tomorrow
and see to it then.

In the meantime,
you mustn't get the burn wet.

We go to the public
baths on Fridays.

Can he get it wet then?

Best not.

We'll come each day, though, so we'll
be able to tell you when it's safe.

Dr Turner will be calling in later,

but he's sent a new prescription
for your epilepsy medicine.

Will you be able to pop out
to the chemist, Mrs McKenty?

We're not married.

And the prescription's
too much money.

I shouldn't have presumed.

And I do know a shilling
isn't always easy to find.

Nancy, love, why don't you make
the nurse a cup a tea?

We've got a mince pie,
if you want it?

That would be lovely.

She's shy.

I'm shy, too.

Mr McKenty, you stay right there.

Here, let me help.

Is someone expecting a baby?

Don't tell her, Victor.

Nancy...

We've got to tell someone.

Did you question her?
Do you know how far along she is?

I didn't dare pry! I'd already pushed
things as far as I could.

She seems very frail.

Well, she's spent half her life
locked up in the Countess of Irby,

like him, I shouldn't wonder.

It's criminal how they've just
turned them out onto the streets.

They're subnormal,
they've been waited on hand,

foot and finger all their lives,
then all of a sudden

they've got to manage money,
cook for themselves,

clean for themselves.

You're on the midwifery roster.

You go with Nurse Miller next time
she makes a district call.

See if we can talk some sense
into the pair of them.

Run the engine
and turn the heater on.

I don't want you with
pneumonia for Christmas.

Can't be any worse than polio.

Your colleague's upstairs already.

What a terrible smell.

How long has the power been off?

Some bits of the house have got it,
some haven't.

She managed to warm the milk
to put in her gin, though.

The matron? Where is she?

Legged it soon as she knew
I'd blown the whistle on her.

Follow me.

Chickenpox.

She'll need to be moved to a
separate room and kept in isolation.

I want to go home!

Chickenpox can be frightfully
tricky in pregnancy

for... for mother and baby.

They took her baby
and she can't stop crying.

There, there.

He needed feeding.

Doctor?

Would you mind awfully taking
a look at this young lady's eye?

I can see what the problem
is from here.

Burst a blood vessel in her eye
through crying?

I wouldn't have thought it was
anatomically possible.

Mother-and-baby homes used to be
run by small charities.

Then the councils took them over,

now nobody knows who's
supposed to be in charge,

and you end up with a mess
like this.

Dad, did Angela come from...
a mess like this?

I hope not.

But she did come from
a girl like these.

Ah, there you are!

Sister Monica Joan has arranged
the figurines

in what she calls
"conversational groupings".

What in the name of goodness is
the Angel Gabriel

going to say to the ass?

Dr Turner telephoned
from Astor Lodge.

He says until the matron
is officially replaced,

we must have a qualified midwife
in place round the clock.

~ Oh, he does, does he?
~ I'm sending Nurse Mount.

And Nurse Noakes has agreed
to commute there by bus each day,

~ until we get proper care organised
for the mothers and the babies. ~ Ohh.

There's nothing wrong with my knees!
It's my lumbago.

And if it's not that,
it's my indigestion.

~ Sister, do you need a doctor?
~ No, I do not.

At least I'm in better shape
than this poor wretch.

Got more scars than
Frankenstein's monster.

I got this down the tip.

I told her, Nurse, I don't think
it's clean enough.

It certainly needs a run-in
with some Stardrops.

But I've seen older prams than this
giving sterling service.

The thing is, Nancy, if you would
agree to visit the doctor

and have your pregnancy confirmed,
we can look after you properly.

I don't like doctors.
Do I, Victor?

No, love.

They're not...

.. kind.

Our doctor's very kind.

Besides, once you've
filled in all your forms,

you'll qualify for the government
maternity grant.

Baby's going to need a cot
and clothes as well as a pram.

I'll come with you, Nance.

And so will I. We don't just want
what's best for you.

We want what's best for baby.

Using your skill, judgment and
encyclopaedic knowledge

of the Homicide Act 1957,

discuss the implications of the term
"diminished responsibility".

This defence is distinguishable
from the defence of insanity,

for while the former requires
a substantial impairment

of mental responsibility arising
from an abnormality of the mind,

the latter requires
a defect of reason

~ arising from a disease of the mind.
~ Top notch.

I don't think it's helping to try
and do two things at once.

We'd be doing three things at once

if I was actually doing the thing
that I most need to be getting done,

and that's decorating
the Christmas tree.

Do you reckon we're in for another
sleepless night?

I don't know. I had hoped
the antibiotics would clear it.

I'm starting to think
it's this filthy city air.

If I got my stripes, I could move us
out to Redbridge or Walthamstow.

The air would be cleaner there.
He'd have a garden to play in.

Let's see, shall we?

Sorry, Sister. I couldn't sleep.

Nor could I.

I was on my way to the clinical
room for some aspirin.

For your hand?

Pain can be a sign that a wound
is healing. It passes.

I keep thinking this will pass.

The questioning?

The wanting. I've never longed
for anything so much in my life.

It seems to me
that if that is what you're feeling,

the questioning is over.

I don't know why he wants ME,
Sister!

I have nothing to give!

Nothing to sacrifice or offer
up in exchange for all his love.

Once upon a time, I thought
I knew what God had in mind for me,

but I didn't.

I thought I knew what love was
but I didn't.

Certainty is fleeting.

That is why we must have faith.

~ Thank you.
~ All right, my love, thank you.

Any more fares.

Tickets.

Ah, morning!

One of our young ladies
went into labour in the small hours.

I sat up with her, she left
in an ambulance half an hour ago

after she'd had some tea and toast.

Give us them sheets, Nurse.
I'll get them in the laundry hamper.

That's the spirit!

Don't know what I would've done
without Avril last night.
She's the perfect marvel.

How did you come by this
scar on your tummy?

I had an operation.

At the Countess of Irby?

Helped me with my monthlies.

Were you in pain?

No.

They said it would help them
to stay regular.

I had it when I had
the operation on my head.

Can you remember why they did this,
Miss Williston?

Because I couldn't keep still.

I couldn't keep still inside,
in my brain, or outside in my body.

It was like I always wanted
to dance.

And afterwards?

Like there wasn't any music
any more.

That was the psychiatrist
who supervised the closure
of that hospital.

Said his predecessors
were notorious.

Lobotomy. Leucotomy.

A lobotomy? Without her consent?

If she'd been committed,
she wouldn't have been asked for it.

There's a chance she wouldn't have

understood the implications
if she had.

Ready?

I'm afraid you aren't going
to have a baby, Nancy.

Doctor believes your monthly
periods have stopped

as part of a natural process
called the menopause.

Happens to all women,

some time between
their 40s and their 50s.

I'm not that old.

Doctor believes you might be.

He's sent away for your medical
records, so we can all be sure,

but...

he is absolutely certain that you
aren't expecting.

She might still get pregnant.

I might.

If I eat right
and do all the proper things,

I still might.

And I can look after her.

Nancy, Doctor thinks the operation
on your tummy

was something called
a tubal ligation.

It was actually done by the doctors

to prevent you from ever
conceiving a child.

What does "conceiving" mean?

It means... to make and to carry.

Have I imagined it all?

Have I been ill in my head again?

No. You just wanted it very much.

And that's understandable.

I'm so very sorry, Nancy.

Nancy!

Nancy!

I love you!

Don't say you love me.

Please don't say you love me.

Don't say that.

But I can't give you anything.

I can't... can't fill in anything
that is missing.

You give me what you can.
I give you what I can.

My blessing is that you let me.

I ask for no more,
and we're both made whole by it.

♪ Little donkey, little donkey

♪ On the dusty road

♪ Got to keep on plodding onwards

♪ With your precious load! ♪

That was absolutely lovely,

although I'm sure
if Nurse Noakes were here,

she would say the donkeys would be
a little bit more proud.

Mm-hm?

You OK, Beverley? Can I see?

~ Her tooth's fallen out!
~ Oh, go to the kitchen, Beverley,

and rinse your mouth out
with some water.

You can take your friend with you.

Second verse...

It's the cotton wool.
It's just not convincing.

I think you're worrying
about nothing.

♪ Been a long time, little donkey

♪ Through the winter's night... ♪

Don't give up now.

♪ .. Don't give up now, little donkey

♪ Bethlehem's in sight. ♪

That was very good, well done.

Oh, no, it's Fred.

What a shame. You've spoiled Fred's
wonderful surprise!

He's going to be doing
such a lovely song and dance number

at the concert.
We were just trying his costume on.

I checked on Denise
and reapplied the calamine.

The spots seem to be drying
out nicely.

Yvonne seems to be picking
up a bit too.

Astor Lodge. Acting Sister speaking.

'It's me, Camilla.'

This is an unexpected pleasure.

How was Freddie when you left him?

A bit chesty. There's
a couple like him at nursery.

I need you to test me on procedure.

'Peter, I'm at work.
I don't have any of the manuals.'

You know them back to front
and inside out, Camilla!

This is just nerves, Peter.
I promise you.

I've got the 1872 Licensing Act
going round and round in my head

like a hamster on a wheel.

Peter, the exam's tomorrow.
I'll be home tonight.

We'll sit in our dressing gowns
with a cup of Horlicks,

I'll test you then.

'I love you, Camilla.'

Chummy, have you seen outside?

Oh, botheration!

I rather think Wellingtons
might be in order!

Nonsense. These brogues have
never been confounded.

I'll be on that bus
before you can say "knife".

♪ .. The sea, the sea of love

♪ I want to tell you

♪ How much I love you

♪ Do you remember... ♪

Stop! Halt! Wait!

♪ ..That's the day
I knew you were my pet... ♪

Ohh! Oh, God.

♪ ..I want to tell you
how much I love you... ♪

Ow!

Blast! Wait, please.

I'm anxious about you going
anywhere in these conditions.

It's not a long walk to the station,
and the trains are running as usual.

I do need to tell my parents
face to face.

Of course.

Sister, is this sheep being
thrown away?

Do you want it?

Oh, no. I'm going to be laying
possessions to one side,

but I know someone who would
love this so much.

I desperately wanted to
be at home tonight.

Peter needs me.

As does Freddie.

The buses have stopped running,

they've just announced
it on the wireless.

And much good you'd do them, dead
in a ditch like Captain Oates!

Thank you.

(Are you ready for beddie-byes?)

No Mama for us tonight, Freddie.

We're looking at a boys' night in.

MUSIC: Santa Bring My Baby Back
(To Me) by Elvis Presley

Come on, give me a twirl.
I want to be twirled!

♪ Please make these reindeer hurry

♪ Well, the time is drawing near

♪ It sure won't feel like Christmas

♪ Until my baby's here

♪ Fill my sock with candy

♪ And a bright and shiny toy... ♪

Come on! No wallflowers allowed!

♪ ..And to fill my heart with joy

♪ Then, Santa, hear my plea

♪ Santa, bring my baby back to me

♪ Please make these reindeer hurry

♪ Well, the time is drawing near

♪ It sure won't feel like Christmas

♪ Until my baby's here

♪ Fill my sock with candy... ♪

Girls, here I go!

Whoo!

~ That's it, Chummy. ~ Ooh!

♪ ..Then, Santa, hear my plea

♪ Santa, bring my baby back to me

♪ Santa, bring my baby back to me

♪ Santa, bring my baby back to me

♪ Then, Santa, hear my plea

♪ Santa, bring my baby
back to me... ♪

Avril?

Well, it's very much curtains up
and light the lights time!

You sure you aren't making
a mistake?

That's it.

That's it.

You just... you just meet
that bally pain... head on,

let it know who's boss!

Does it get worse than this?

Guide's honour?

I was never in the bloody Guides!

Well, it does get a smidgen
more intense,

but not for very long.

You can hold my hand
when we get to the sharp end.

I don't want to hold your hand.

I just want to go to the hospital.

You're out of luck there,
I'm afraid.

The ambulance can't get through

so you'll just have to make
do with us two!

Freddie?

It's OK, ssh, ssh.
It's OK, ssh, ssh.

You can let it out, you know.

There'll be absolutely no mention
in despatches

for keeping a stiff upper lip.

You can squeal like a stuck pig,
if you like.

No-one'll hear you.

My mother used to say that.

I learned how to stay
as quiet as a mouse.

Funny thing was...

I did it to please her at first...

.. then I knew I never would.

I started to do it out of spite.

Do what?

Bite my tongue.

Not cry.

She'd get bored quicker,
hit me less.

No-one's going to hit you now,
old thing.

Guide's honour?

Absolutely.

I shouldn't make you tell me
the truth. I've lied and lied.

That's of no consequence
at all just now.

I never knew my grandparents.

They didn't have a pet shop.

My mum dumped me
in Dr Barnardo's,

left me there with all the other
little bastards.

Mrs Torpy.

Mrs Torpy!

Hello?

(It's OK.)

(There we go.)

(Well done.)

That's it.

Breathe.

Well done.

Baby's head's well on its way.

Did you hear that, Avril?
The finish line's in sight.

It looks like it's
a compound presentation.

Avril, listen to me.

Now, all will be well,

but it looks like baby's
wanting to be born

with his hand held up
against his head.

~ I just want this to be over.
~ I know.

It's a rotten business,
but if you do as we tell you,

it really won't be much longer.

It's going to be all right.

Ssh-ssh-ssh.

'Fire, Police
and Ambulance.

~ 'Which service do you require.'
~ Ambulance.

I've a 14-month-old baby
who can't breathe.

'We are advised that due to
adverse weather,

'it is taking up to 90 minutes
for ambulances to...'

Not too hard, Avril.

We need nice, steady pushes.

I can't...

Yes, you can.

Good girl, Avril.

It's Freddie.
I don't know what to do.

Whatever is the matter?

The child has croup.
I have seen it a thousand times.

And the best remedy for the malady
is steam -

equal child of engineering
and of nature.

Ssh-ssh. It's OK.

Good girl, Avril! Good girl!

That's it. That's it.

Am I doing it wrong?

No. Believe me, if you were
on stage at the Albert Hall

the audience would be on
their feet and cheering!

I want the baby to be all right.

I don't want it to be hurt.

That's it.

Well done.

~ Bravo, Avril! Bravo. ~ Well done.

Well done!

It's a little girl.

She looks rather like Ma,
if I'm not very much mistaken.

Be a sport and take a peek.

You worked so hard.

No.

The fever has broken.

May the Lord be praised.

Did you hear that? Come here.

I've had two hours' sleep.

I can move mountains
on two hours' sleep.

So can you, you're no stranger
to the night shift.

There! You'll do.

Now, we will be fine
until you get back.

Remember, one stripe,
two stripes, three stripes -

none of it's worth
tuppence ha'penny,

compared with what you've
got already.

I know.

Thank you.

I don't want to see her.

If I believed that,
I wouldn't be standing here,

holding your beautiful
daughter in my arms.

She's not going to be
my beautiful daughter.

She's going to be somebody else's
beautiful daughter.

Or else she can go in
a home, like I did.

Avril, you can give us a bravura
performance of not caring

if you like, but last night
when the chips were down, you did

everything you could to bring this
baby safely into the world.

You did everything YOU could.

You carried her inside you
for nine months.

Your body sheltered her
and nourished her.

It still could,
if you wanted to feed her.

What for?

We're both on our own now,
might as well get used to it.

Avril, you're going
to be together for weeks.

I just wanted a nice life.

A happy life...

.. with proper things in it,
like other people had.

And a home - with a small "H",
not a capital letter.

You wanted love,
that's not unreasonable.

I thought I had it...

with him -

the one I went to bed with.

And I was wrong.

Love doesn't always come
in the package one expects,

and this little one was born
reaching out for your hand.

Well...

more fool her.

(It's all right.)

You may turn over your paper
and begin.

Any news from Peter?

Not yet. I think he'll still be
in the exam.

I asked Avril
if she'd like to feed baby.

She gave me my marching orders,
in no uncertain terms.

It's bally wrong, you know -
locking girls away like this

and then forcing them
to make their choice.

But it isn't a choice,
that's the thing.

Places like this make the shame
and the stigma even worse.

Avril was illegitimate,

she grew up in a home.

All she needs is love.

She needs love so badly

she ended up bringing a daughter
of her own into the world.

She daren't even look at her...

.. never mind love her.

Excuse me, Nurse,

only I just went past Denise's room
and she was crying.

I want my mum.

I want my mum.

Shall we see if we can get her
on the telephone?

I... I don't think she wants to know.

Oh, I'm sure that's not the case.

Come on. There we are.

I wondered where you'd got to.

You look sad.

I couldn't be happier.

For us.

Our daughter started life
as someone else's child.

How can we ever forget that?

I forget it a hundred times a day!

Then I remember,

and my heart breaks for the
poor wee girl who gave her up.

And it's Christmas.

She'll be thinking, "Is she loved?"

Can I hold her?

She's your baby.

There's no need to ask.

The young madam's just been
indulging in a spot of luncheon.

It's like we fit into each other.

Like we're two pieces of a puzzle.

I don't want her thinking
I didn't want to know.

How will I ever give her up?

She might need me one day.

She needs you now.

There's no law that says
you can't keep her.

No.

There isn't, is there?

We do all understand
that this letter

may never reach
the baby's first mother.

It may be that all
the adoption society will do is

keep it on file, in case
she ever makes enquiries.

~ I still think we ought to try.
~ Very well.

"Your daughter is now known as
Angela Julienne

"and she is ten weeks old.

"She has blonde hair,
she has an older brother, Timothy,

"and our family lives..."

.. in a flat with a natural
Christmas tree.

Shall we take our seats?

♪ When Santa got stuck up
the chimney

♪ He began to shout

♪ You girls and boys
won't get any toys

♪ If you don't pull me out

♪ My beard is black...

♪ My nose is tickly too

♪ When Santa got stuck up
the chimney

♪ Achoo, achoo, achoo! ♪

Merry Christmas!

Thank you for looking after me.

~ All part of the service!
~ No, thank you, Nurse.

Bye, everyone.

~ Bye. ~ Bye, Yvonne.

♪ I dream tonight of a place I love

♪ Even more than I usually do

♪ And although I know

♪ It's a long road back

♪ I promise you... ♪

Is he all right?

Chickenpox didn't hurt him?

Doctor's been. Says he's fine.

♪ .. I'll be home for Christmas... ♪

I should have made sure you caught
it when you were a little girl.

I always did everything
I could to protect you.

It's all right, Mum.

He's my first grandchild.

There'll be others.
But he'll always be the first.

He'll always be my first.

You can change your mind.

If I did,

I'd be doing what I want most now.

Not what's best.

Not for him or for me.

I know.

I know.

And I'll think about him
every Christmas.

'If not every wish can
be granted at Christmas,

'it is still a time of generosity
and gentleness,

'of gathering together
and closing out the world,

'and amongst all the glitter and
the gifts, one precious thing

'shines brighter than the rest,

'and that is the simple act
of sharing all we have,

'and the season made complete.'

Oh! Where did it go?

'Never in the field...'

Pass.

Can't believe I'm doing this.

It's New Year's Eve!

We could be out having high jinks

with the junior doctors
at the London.

But we're here, though, aren't we?

Waving Cynthia off for six months
in the Mother House!

And I'm so glad.

I decided when I saw you
I was going to say, "Ready?",

as if it was your wedding day.

But there's no need for me
to ask that at all, is there?

And I'm coming back.

They've already told me
I'm coming back here.

But they might change your name.

You might be called something else.

Be somebody else.

But you won't.

♪ If I take the wings of the morning

♪ And dwell in the uttermost
parts of the sea... ♪

'Sometimes Christmas
is made more exquisite

'by the change it brings.

'New beginnings,
accepted with grace,

'become beloved memories

'and their beauty shines for ever.

'Dear faces under glass.'

Oh, look!

Snow!

Philip!

Ah, perfect.

And now...

something to make it all
truly complete.

Well, it wouldn't be Christmas
without this, would it?

Oh, it gets more delicate
with every year that passes.

~ Doesn't get any better looking,
though, does it? ~ No!

'If we are lucky,
we find love.

'If we're blessed,
we understand its meaning.

'The bird-print kisses
at the bottom of a card

'will not vanish like the snow
but will endure.'

You know you should get
it down on paper.

What?

Write my memoirs?

I think you should consider it.

I will...

.. after Christmas.

♪ I'll hang my heart
on a Christmas tree

♪ And wish on a silver star

♪ That from this night you
will always be

♪ As close to me as you are... ♪