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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:32,918
I really thought we had
something special, Antonio.
3
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:39,055
But I can'’t work
with somebody I don'’t trust.
4
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:46,932
And I certainly
can'’t date...
5
00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:49,065
somebody I don'’t trust.
6
00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:52,068
No, no, shh, shh,
shh shh, shh, shh, shh.
7
00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:53,461
I don'’t want to hear it.
8
00:01:57,769 --> 00:02:01,904
The whole cargo
is fucking shark food!
9
00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:05,473
Thanks to you.
You'’ve left me with no choice.
10
00:02:14,525 --> 00:02:16,048
Don'’t worry.
11
00:02:16,048 --> 00:02:18,312
I'’ll still be able to come
and watch you dance.
12
00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:32,848
You didn'’t really think
I was going to shoot you,
13
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:35,198
did you?
14
00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:38,245
Antonio!
15
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:41,030
You... you know
that'’s not my style.
16
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:58,221
Meet another ex-employee,
and, um,
17
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:01,311
whoops, ex-boyfriend,
sorry.
18
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:02,965
This is Kenneth.
19
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:05,446
Kenneth...
20
00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:08,710
say hi to Antonio.
21
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:14,063
I'’ll leave you two
to get acquainted then.
22
00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:15,978
It might get
a little awkward.
23
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,335
The Prime Minister
today declared
24
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:28,556
that the threat level
was significantly reduced...
25
00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:30,775
The situation
was under complete control...
26
00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:33,517
All I know is
that before they came over,
27
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,302
everything was fine...
28
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,782
A spokesman
for the Independence Party...
29
00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:41,221
the spread of the virus on
Eastern European Immigrant...
30
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,919
Have you or
any member of your family
31
00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:46,922
ever been bitten by a zombie?
32
00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:49,620
Thought to be
a mutated strain of Ebola,
33
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:52,014
a spokesman today
dismissed concerns
34
00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:55,017
that what many are
calling the zombie virus...
35
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:58,760
Chemical weapon
released by Islamic State...
36
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,241
The invasion
of a planet...
37
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,720
I think
it'’s the government...
38
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,331
Today the mayor defended
39
00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,768
the Met Police'’s
shoot-to-kill policy...
40
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:09,945
Employed by
the government to contr...
41
00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:11,468
It'’s got to be aliens...
42
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,253
Due to screening
for infections...
43
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,820
Big shout-out
goes to Ibiza this weekend.
44
00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:19,476
Official reports say...
island is clear of infection,
45
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:21,565
but I'’ve seen a few
zombies there, you know?
46
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,828
Especially at six
in the morning.
47
00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,613
The home
office has claimed
48
00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:28,398
that security at airports
will remain tight
49
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:30,400
with enhanced bioscanning
50
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,273
and an increase
in armed security personal.
51
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,363
I don'’t trust those guys
not to shoot the wrong person.
52
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,756
Yeah, I reckon they probably
shot more drunk people
53
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:41,324
-than actually zombies.
-I don'’t even think there are
any zombies.
54
00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:42,760
I'’ve never seen one, anyway.
55
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,154
Yeah, but you know
Dave Stunts from down Essex?
56
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:47,852
-Yeah.
-He reckons his cousin got bit
by one the other month.
57
00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:48,723
Bollocks.
58
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,294
Who you texting, anyway?
59
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:57,732
-Who you texting?
-No one. No one.
60
00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,516
You better not
be texting Ellie.
61
00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:01,344
If I find out
you'’re texting
62
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,128
that frigid monster,
there'’ll be problems.
63
00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:04,739
You'’ll have to get your
proctologist to text after that.
64
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:07,307
-What about that?
-Proctologist means ass doctor.
65
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,830
Come on,
we got a plane to catch.
66
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:14,531
-Wait, what about Az?
-What aboutAz?
67
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,098
Well, he'’s coming
with us, remember?
68
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,752
Yeah, sometimes
I wish we could
69
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,362
just forget about
Az all together.
70
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:21,625
Sorry.
71
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,366
I didn'’t touch ya.
72
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:26,500
Guys! Hey, guys.
73
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:29,938
Guys, I...
74
00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:31,766
Sorry I'’m late,
been at the chemist.
75
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:34,812
Have you...
you read these?
76
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:38,555
It'’s all information on how to
stay safe abroad from infection.
77
00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:40,514
No, you don'’t need
these stupid leaflets.
78
00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,211
I know everything there
is to know about zombies.
79
00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:44,082
Stick with me
and you'’ll be fine, let'’s go.
80
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,302
Excuse me, sir,
can you try again?
81
00:05:46,302 --> 00:05:49,044
-Try again? Okay.
-Yes, please.
82
00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:58,793
Well, I sure am happy
to be going on holiday
83
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:01,012
with you two happy fuckers,
Jesus Christ.
84
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:02,927
It'’s like a morgue in here.
85
00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:05,539
The Zombie App says the island'’s
still clear of infection.
86
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:08,977
But is it full of hot bitches?
That'’s all I need to know.
87
00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:11,501
Jim, I'’m not sure
if there'’s an app for that.
88
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:16,288
No, there is, it'’s called...
it'’s called Liz'’s Facebook page.
89
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:18,465
Your sister really
doesn'’t understand
90
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:20,423
her privacy settings,
does she mate?
91
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:27,125
Hold on second,
isn'’t that...
92
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:31,173
God, she'’s coming over.
Hide or something.
93
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:37,179
-Hi, Ellie.
-Hi, Alex.
94
00:06:37,179 --> 00:06:38,528
What are you doing?
95
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,327
Well, this is awkward,
isn'’t it?
96
00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:58,069
And weird, I mean,
here we are off to Ibiza
97
00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,810
to bone so many sluts
our dicks
98
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,333
will probably fall off,
and yet you'’re here, too.
99
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,074
Have you come to wave
us off or something?
100
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:06,077
It'’s okay, James.
I won'’t cramp your style.
101
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:08,689
Or yours, Alex.
Don'’t worry.
102
00:07:08,689 --> 00:07:11,082
I won'’t stand in the way
of you and your sluts.
103
00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:12,780
Well, of course you won'’t
because, as I said,
104
00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:14,477
we'’re going to Ibiza,
and, I don'’t know,
105
00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:16,523
you'’re probably going somewhere
boring to do something
106
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,916
like build a school
in Somalia.
107
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:21,789
You haven'’t told them,
have you?
108
00:07:21,789 --> 00:07:24,661
Sorry, told us what?
109
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,184
Yeah,
what haven'’t you told us?
110
00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:28,796
I leave you to explain.
111
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:31,189
Just try not to sit too near me
on the plane, yeah?
112
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,847
This is
the final call for Ibiza...
113
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:39,937
Look...
I can explain.
114
00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:43,941
It... it was like this.
115
00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:11,142
So you ladies from England?
116
00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:13,188
You have the
plaga de los muertos,
117
00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:15,364
-That right?
-The what?
118
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:17,105
He means
the plague of the dead.
119
00:08:17,105 --> 00:08:19,673
I sure do, my friend.
120
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:21,849
You English,
with your drinking
121
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:25,026
and your fucking
with no condoms.
122
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:28,203
It'’s a miracle you aren'’t
all zombies already.
123
00:08:28,203 --> 00:08:29,813
We'’re fine, thanks.
124
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:31,685
They do checks
at the airport these days.
125
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:35,079
Some islanders wanted
to stop all flights,
126
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:38,605
all visitors,
keep this place pure.
127
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:42,217
But anyone who tells you
this island is pure
128
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:45,133
is a God damn lying
motherfucker.
129
00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:51,792
Still, Torval is okay.
130
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:54,490
He has this.
131
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:57,014
Yeah.
132
00:08:57,014 --> 00:09:00,583
Nice. Sawn-off.
I'’m nice with a shotty, too.
133
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,150
Done some of my
best work with her.
134
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,282
He means Call of Duty.
135
00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:06,023
Yeah, well,
I'’m gonna be emptying
136
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:10,071
my own shotgun all weekend.
137
00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:12,508
- I need my cock, obviously.
- Yeah!
138
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:16,643
How much further is it?
139
00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,296
Nearly there.
140
00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:21,430
It'’s right up in the hills.
Nice location.
141
00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:26,087
No one to hear
your sexy screaming.
142
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:28,393
Yeah, well, you'’ll be
able to hear the bitches
143
00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,961
that I bring back from
the next fucking village.
144
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,758
You wanna buy some drugs?
145
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,762
Hashish?
146
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:51,460
Cocaine?
147
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:52,635
MDMA?
148
00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:58,772
No, thank you.
We'’re not really into that.
149
00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:00,425
Nice one bringing
her along, mate.
150
00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:02,645
She'’s already being
the bloody party police.
151
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:05,648
That'’s cool.
152
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:07,432
Drugs are bad for you.
153
00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:11,088
Make your dick shrink.
154
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:13,264
Yeah, well, I mean,
don'’t mind her, mate.
155
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:16,659
She'’s not the boss of me.
I'’ll take one.
156
00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:19,401
And, my dick'’s massive.
157
00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:21,664
It'’s like a snake that'’s eaten
a Swiss roll or something.
158
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:23,971
Get out my van.
159
00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:25,059
All of you.
160
00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:31,500
You have arrived.
161
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,067
Thank God.
162
00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:42,136
Bitches,
the party has arrived.
163
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:43,572
Who the fuck is that?
164
00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:49,230
What the fuck?
165
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:52,537
Only been
here two minutes,
166
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,626
and I already got
a couple of bitches wet.
167
00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:55,758
Hi, sis.
168
00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,891
Hi, bro.
169
00:11:57,891 --> 00:12:00,937
Look, can you tell your mate
to get out of the fucking pool?
170
00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:03,635
He looks so... unhygienic.
171
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,907
You know what
your problem is, Antonio?
172
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:14,995
You need to relax.
173
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,259
Take a chill pill.
174
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,177
Open wide for daddy.
175
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:28,182
One... two... three.
176
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,054
There'’s a good boy.
177
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:37,844
Don'’t they teach you
to knock on doors
178
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,976
wherever the fuck
it is you come from?
179
00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,978
He'’s dead? Antonio!
180
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:45,808
Him? Used to be.
181
00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:48,680
Now he'’s just
another attraction.
182
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,858
You said no more.
183
00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:54,382
No more stuff,
no more dancers.
184
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:56,036
I... I know what I said.
185
00:12:56,036 --> 00:13:00,344
You see, Antonio here
was supposed to be in charge
186
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:02,085
of my supply chain,
187
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:05,306
bringing in 200 fresh
zombies from England,
188
00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:09,614
but he made
a little error in judgment
189
00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:12,879
and dumped the whole
fucking lot in the sea.
190
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,620
But you can'’t keep
doing this, Karl!
191
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,144
People will find out.
192
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:18,754
Really?
193
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:23,585
And how, exactly?
194
00:13:23,585 --> 00:13:25,326
Are you going to tell on me?
195
00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:30,897
Just remember,
there'’s always room
196
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:33,987
for more employees
in my collection.
197
00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:36,598
Now...
198
00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:39,166
why don'’t you...
199
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,255
get out there
200
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:43,910
and shake that cute
little ass of yours
201
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,695
and fill my club
with punters?
202
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:48,915
Do you get me?
203
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:52,092
And none
of your usual attitude.
204
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:55,878
Yes... boss.
205
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:01,188
can zombies swim?
206
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,014
What are you doing?
207
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:47,625
Standing there
just lurking.
208
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:50,454
Hi, Ellie, um, well,
I was just wondering if...
209
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,108
well, if you wanted
to come out
210
00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:53,718
to the town with me
and the boys tonight.
211
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,895
And why would I want
to do that?
212
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,722
I think I'’ll just stay here
and wait for James
213
00:14:57,722 --> 00:14:59,811
to tag the pictures
on Facebook.
214
00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:04,729
It'’s not gonna be like that.
And... we wereon a break.
215
00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:07,123
Look, Alex,
I don'’t care what you do.
216
00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:08,951
You said I was boring.
217
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:11,127
Then the next thing I know,
a picture of you
218
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:13,260
and some random
pops up online.
219
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,740
How do you think
that made me feel, Alex?
220
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,742
I'’m not going through
that again.
221
00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:21,007
Well, it... it was Big Jim
who said you were boring...
222
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,965
And it was Jim who took
the photo, I know that,
223
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:24,793
but it wasn'’t Jim
with his tongue
224
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,229
down some girl'’s throat,
was it?
225
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:28,101
Well, obviously.
Like that would ever happen.
226
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:34,324
Well, I thought that maybe
that you came to Ibiza
227
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:36,065
t-to maybe, you know,
get back together.
228
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,937
I came because you
were too tight
229
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,243
to change the name
on the ticket.
230
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:44,639
Look, you can go and be exciting
with your stupid mates,
231
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:47,381
but I'’m staying here
and being boring.
232
00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:59,175
Jim, you said there'’d
be wireless here.
233
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,829
What are you
on the Internet for?
234
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:02,613
You can see lovely tits
if you just look outside.
235
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:05,094
I just wanna know
what'’s going on back home.
236
00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:07,183
What if there'’s
been another attack?
237
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:08,837
For all we know,
England could be
238
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,534
completely overrun
by the plague.
239
00:16:10,534 --> 00:16:13,581
Mate, we'’ve been away
for like three hours.
240
00:16:13,581 --> 00:16:16,323
- Besides, you wanna
hope it doeskick off.
- Why?
241
00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:19,587
"" because then
we'’d be stuck here on,
242
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:22,851
like, the ultimate party island
with those dirty bitches
243
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:24,853
tasked with restarting
the human race.
244
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:28,248
They'’d be obligated to shag us
which, for a guy like you,
245
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:30,076
is pretty much the only
chance you'’ve ever got
246
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:33,862
of seeing any action
with your little raisin dick.
247
00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:37,213
Don'’t wanna know.
248
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:38,954
He'’s having imaginary sex
249
00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,912
with one
of the girls outside.
250
00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:43,393
-It'’s probably your sister.
-I said I don'’t wanna know.
251
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:46,440
-It isyour sister, mate.
-At least it'’s not Ellie.
252
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,355
It'’s not gonna be her,
is it?
253
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,052
Do you know what, mate,
I don'’t think we'’ve given you
254
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,749
nearly enough shit for inviting
your ex-girlfriend
255
00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,055
on our lads holiday.
256
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,188
She wasn'’t my ex
when I invited her.
257
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:57,755
Even worse!
You'’re just lucky me and Az
258
00:16:57,755 --> 00:17:00,062
are even talking to you after
pulling a stunt like that.
259
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:02,325
Did you temporarily
lose your mind or something?
260
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:06,155
Well, I... I thought it might be
a good idea
261
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:09,028
to combine a lads holiday with...
with a romantic holiday.
262
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,420
Are you fucking nuts?
263
00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:12,161
Have you literally gone
full retard?
264
00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:14,033
Can you even understand
the words that come out
265
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,947
of your mouth when you say them?
You'’re ridiculous.
266
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:18,298
It'’s not like you two know what
it'’s like to have a girlfriend.
267
00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:19,908
That'’s because
I'’m a player, Alex,
268
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,518
and I don'’t like
to get tied down
269
00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:23,129
to just one bitch,
you know that.
270
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:26,001
-Yeah, me too.
-What?
271
00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:29,396
-What are you doing, anyway?
-Exercising, obviously.
272
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:31,137
It'’s always good
to get pumping
273
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:33,052
before you got out
to get some bitch to pump.
274
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,749
You always look bigger as well
275
00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:36,881
when you'’re just fresh
from working out.
276
00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:38,709
-Sure you wanna look
any bigger, Jim?
-Fuck off, mate.
277
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:41,103
This is all muscle.
Az, get on.
278
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:42,191
All right.
279
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,334
Fucking idiots.
280
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:56,292
You only need one
of the big ones anyway.
281
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,164
Any more than that and it'’s
actually counterproductive
282
00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,600
and you'’re gonna lose
muscle density.
283
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,169
Whatever man.
Look, boys.
284
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:05,823
I say we get out of here
as quick as possible,
285
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:08,348
go to some bars,
hit some clubs,
286
00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:10,567
and just get absolutely
fucking wankered.
287
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:13,788
Fuckin'’ A, first decent thing
you'’ve said since we got here.
288
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:18,619
Az, hurry up, man.
289
00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:25,626
Lads?
290
00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:34,461
Hi, girls, so,
me and Alex here
291
00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:37,768
were just off to
the local nightclubs
292
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,944
to harvest them
for all the pussy
293
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:42,121
they can yield,
so don'’t wait up, ladies.
294
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,340
James, I don'’t give
a rat'’s ass what you do,
295
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,647
I just want Alex back
in one piece, all right?
296
00:18:46,647 --> 00:18:50,825
So that means no drugs,
and if by some insane miracle
297
00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:53,088
that you happen to pull a bird,
just be careful,
298
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:55,308
-if you know what I mean.
-No, it'’s not gonna...
299
00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:57,223
I got this, mate,
I got this.
300
00:18:57,223 --> 00:18:59,486
You... you don'’t need to worry
your pretty little head
301
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:02,924
about that, Liz, because
I actually happen to have
302
00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:05,796
knob protection
in every flavor of the rainbow.
303
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,407
So you needn'’t worry,
304
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:09,800
I got your five a day
right here, you know?
305
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,890
I'’d actually rather rub sand
up my vagina.
306
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:15,545
Interesting you should say
that, Zara, because so would I.
307
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:17,939
So would I.
Anyway, we'’re off.
308
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,941
See you later, bitches.
Let'’s roll.
309
00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:21,986
Az, you ready?
310
00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:23,727
We'’re gonna go without you
if you'’re not careful.
311
00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:25,381
Get a move on and you better not
be wanking again,
312
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:26,774
you disgusting little man!
313
00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:31,431
Thanks for letting me
stay in with you tonight.
314
00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,563
It'’s really good
to get out here and relax.
315
00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:37,088
Sweetheart,
I'’ve been relaxing all day.
316
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:40,527
We'’re going out and partying
very hard tonight.
317
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,443
I thought you said we were
having a girlie night in?
318
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:46,054
No, I just said that to Alex
and his dickhead mates
319
00:19:46,054 --> 00:19:47,838
so they didn'’t tag along.
320
00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:49,666
No, tonight we'’re gonna go out,
and we'’re gonna get
321
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:52,365
- absolutely shit faced.
- Yeah.
322
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:55,150
Yep.
323
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:08,555
What?
324
00:20:08,555 --> 00:20:10,687
I'’m... I'’m not used
to this sun, all right?
325
00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:12,298
Az...
326
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:15,039
it'’s nearly dark,
and we'’re inside.
327
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:17,825
So? I'’d rather
be safe than sorry.
328
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:20,654
You look like you'’re in one
of them bukkake videos, mate.
329
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:22,569
You literally look
like 12 German blokes
330
00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:25,136
split the cost of a room
in a youth hostel
331
00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:27,530
just to jizz all over
your disgusting little body.
332
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:29,880
It'’s filthy.
And you smell like piña colada.
333
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,796
It smells better
than this tastes, though.
334
00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:34,885
Tastes like piss.
Diseased piss.
335
00:20:34,885 --> 00:20:36,583
You'’d know what
diseased piss tastes like.
336
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:38,411
I expect you'’ve sucked off
enough diseased penises
337
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:39,673
to last you a lifetime, Alex.
338
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,544
This is a little
invention of mine
339
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:44,547
I got the barman to mix up...
I call it the Big Jim, baby!
340
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,767
Inventive Jim.
341
00:20:46,767 --> 00:20:48,725
So it isyour piss, then?
342
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:51,511
Yeah, yeah, there'’s a bit
of my spunk in there as well.
343
00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:53,252
Anyway,
you need to drink up boys.
344
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,557
We need to be nice and toasted
345
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:56,124
for when we get
into them super clubs.
346
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,648
Jim, have you seen
the price of these clubs?
347
00:20:58,648 --> 00:21:00,868
It'’s like 60 Euros
just to get in.
348
00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:02,609
You'’re the tightest man
I'’ve ever met.
349
00:21:02,609 --> 00:21:04,350
You'’re tighter
than your ex'’s vagina
350
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:05,829
and there'’s nothing
that'’s ever been up that.
351
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:08,267
- I'’m not tight, okay?
- Hi.
352
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,617
She is... but... I don'’t...
353
00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:12,880
-will you stop talking about
Ellie, all right?
-Hi!
354
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,144
You'’re the one who'’s always
going on about her... hello.
355
00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:19,756
Looking for somewhere
to party tonight?
356
00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:21,671
Can you recommend
anywhere at all?
357
00:21:21,671 --> 00:21:24,021
Yeah, I can.
358
00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:26,154
I'’m the fucking promo girl!
359
00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:29,723
Or do you think I choose
to wear this fucking T-shirt?!
360
00:21:31,681 --> 00:21:34,728
Don'’t need to be so rude.
361
00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:37,600
I think I'’m in love.
362
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,472
I think you'’re
in dream world.
363
00:21:39,472 --> 00:21:41,996
I think we found
tonight'’s destination.
364
00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:04,714
I just...
I just wish it was vampires.
365
00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:06,368
Vampires?
366
00:22:06,368 --> 00:22:08,675
You'’re so fucking random,
Zara.
367
00:22:08,675 --> 00:22:11,982
Vampires are just,
you know, sexier.
368
00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:14,855
If it was vampires,
I'’d be out there right now
369
00:22:14,855 --> 00:22:16,378
with some pale Twilight dude
370
00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:19,686
sticking his fangs
right into me.
371
00:22:19,686 --> 00:22:23,516
Instead... zombies.
372
00:22:23,516 --> 00:22:25,169
They'’re fucking disgusting.
373
00:22:25,169 --> 00:22:26,432
Yeah.
374
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:28,608
Iwouldn'’t wanna be one,
375
00:22:28,608 --> 00:22:30,653
and I sure as hell
wouldn'’t want to fuck one.
376
00:22:30,653 --> 00:22:34,309
Well, at least
you do have somestandards.
377
00:22:34,309 --> 00:22:37,704
Babe, you know I'’m not
some sort of mega slut.
378
00:22:39,488 --> 00:22:40,663
Hola.
379
00:22:40,663 --> 00:22:42,317
-Hola.
-Ooh, la, la.
380
00:22:46,756 --> 00:22:48,802
So, um, Ellie.
381
00:22:48,802 --> 00:22:51,370
First night in Ibiza.
382
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:54,677
- Anything tickle your fancy?
- No, I don'’t...
383
00:22:54,677 --> 00:22:56,592
Nonsense.
384
00:22:56,592 --> 00:23:00,204
You do with some hot lovin'’
to get you over, you know...
385
00:23:00,204 --> 00:23:03,033
what'’s-his-name,
Liz'’s brother.
386
00:23:03,033 --> 00:23:04,426
No, really, I'’m fine.
387
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:07,473
Bollocks on you.
Wait here.
388
00:23:09,823 --> 00:23:11,302
Where...
where is she going?
389
00:23:11,302 --> 00:23:13,087
I really don'’t know.
390
00:23:13,087 --> 00:23:14,871
She'’s a force of nature,
that one.
391
00:23:14,871 --> 00:23:17,961
If her pussy had a password,
it'’d be "password."
392
00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:21,878
Thanks for letting me
hang out with you girls.
393
00:23:21,878 --> 00:23:24,141
No worries,
no worries.
394
00:23:24,141 --> 00:23:26,274
Look, I don'’t have
a clue what happened with you
395
00:23:26,274 --> 00:23:28,102
and my dickhead little brother,
and to be honest,
396
00:23:28,102 --> 00:23:30,974
I don'’t care as long
as we have a good time, Yeah?
397
00:23:30,974 --> 00:23:32,062
-Yeah.
-Good.
398
00:23:32,062 --> 00:23:33,412
Ladies?
399
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:37,328
the party
has officially begun.
400
00:23:37,328 --> 00:23:39,505
-30 seconds?
-That definitely beats
401
00:23:39,505 --> 00:23:42,203
- your personal best, Zara.
- Babe!
402
00:23:42,203 --> 00:23:45,511
Um, Liz, Ellie darling?
403
00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:48,514
Meet...
thingie and thingie.
404
00:23:48,514 --> 00:23:52,387
Hey, hi, I'’m Rupert.
This is my good friend Todd.
405
00:23:52,387 --> 00:23:54,389
You'’ll have to excuse
him, he'’s American.
406
00:23:54,389 --> 00:23:57,218
Yeah, bro, I'’m having the best
night of my fucking life.
407
00:23:57,218 --> 00:23:59,089
-Yeah.
-Get krunked up, baby!
408
00:23:59,089 --> 00:24:01,788
Yeah.
409
00:24:01,788 --> 00:24:04,138
I don'’t suppose you girls
fancy moving on, do you?
410
00:24:04,138 --> 00:24:06,488
I know this cracking spot
to watch the sunset.
411
00:24:06,488 --> 00:24:09,360
Really?
412
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,511
You boys
know how to read?
413
00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:31,078
No fucking photos.
414
00:24:33,733 --> 00:24:36,126
Hello.
415
00:24:36,126 --> 00:24:38,999
I'’m, Karl.
416
00:24:38,999 --> 00:24:41,262
Owner of the establishment.
417
00:24:41,262 --> 00:24:44,047
So is this... is she...
is that a real zombie?
418
00:24:44,047 --> 00:24:47,486
She'’s real all right.
419
00:24:47,486 --> 00:24:49,226
Worked for me for years.
420
00:24:49,226 --> 00:24:51,533
Only now
I don'’t have to pay her.
421
00:24:51,533 --> 00:24:54,710
But I thought that the island
was clear from infection?
422
00:24:54,710 --> 00:24:58,235
Well, you shouldn'’t believe
everything you read, cupcake.
423
00:24:58,235 --> 00:25:00,629
On this island,
for the right price,
424
00:25:00,629 --> 00:25:02,936
everything'’s available.
425
00:25:02,936 --> 00:25:05,286
So what happens if you
feed '’em alcohol, then?
426
00:25:05,286 --> 00:25:07,723
No, no, no. No.
427
00:25:07,723 --> 00:25:11,466
No, we tend to pump
our dancers full of MDMA.
428
00:25:11,466 --> 00:25:12,989
Keeps them chilled.
429
00:25:12,989 --> 00:25:14,817
Means they'’re less
likely to bite.
430
00:25:14,817 --> 00:25:19,779
Booze on the other hand...
bad vibes.
431
00:25:19,779 --> 00:25:23,043
Gunter, why don'’t
we show these boys
432
00:25:23,043 --> 00:25:25,393
how we motivate our dancers?
433
00:25:25,393 --> 00:25:28,614
Yes, boss. My pleasure.
434
00:25:37,753 --> 00:25:39,973
It'’s all in the timing.
Look.
435
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,019
Yes, quite.
436
00:25:43,019 --> 00:25:45,456
Well, who'’s for a...
a proper drink?
437
00:25:45,456 --> 00:25:48,329
You? Yes.
438
00:25:51,375 --> 00:25:53,073
Piña coladas, maybe?
439
00:26:02,430 --> 00:26:04,084
Pretty romantic?
440
00:26:04,084 --> 00:26:08,697
Um... yeah, I suppose so.
441
00:26:08,697 --> 00:26:12,571
Champagne,
a beautiful sunset,
442
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,660
and an even more
beautiful girl.
443
00:26:14,660 --> 00:26:16,313
What more can a guy ask for...
444
00:26:16,313 --> 00:26:18,185
-you okay?
-Yeah.
445
00:26:18,185 --> 00:26:20,230
I'’m fine.
446
00:26:20,230 --> 00:26:24,931
I'’m just not used to
all of this.
447
00:26:24,931 --> 00:26:27,237
But it'’s something you could
get used to, right?
448
00:26:27,237 --> 00:26:29,022
Yeah, maybe.
449
00:26:29,022 --> 00:26:30,589
Fast going, Ellie.
450
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:32,373
Listen,
keep your knickers on.
451
00:26:32,373 --> 00:26:36,464
we'’re going to the pool party
back our the house.
452
00:26:36,464 --> 00:26:39,206
Woo-hoo! Pool party!
453
00:28:10,645 --> 00:28:12,647
Are you all right, mate?
454
00:28:12,647 --> 00:28:14,127
Yeah.
455
00:28:14,127 --> 00:28:17,260
But it... it'’s too loud.
456
00:28:17,260 --> 00:28:19,393
You know,
I'’m gonna go ask the DJ
457
00:28:19,393 --> 00:28:21,569
if he'’ll play
a bit of Morrissey.
458
00:28:21,569 --> 00:28:25,007
You know, with some real...
what'’s it named?
459
00:28:25,007 --> 00:28:26,182
Lyrics!
460
00:28:29,403 --> 00:28:31,231
It'’s that Karl bloke, mate.
461
00:28:31,231 --> 00:28:33,450
He'’s be giving him free drinks
all night.
462
00:28:33,450 --> 00:28:35,626
You don'’t reckon
he spiked '’em, do ya?
463
00:28:35,626 --> 00:28:38,368
Or put a date rape
in his drink?
464
00:28:38,368 --> 00:28:41,284
Do you reckon he'’s put
a date rape in all our drinks?
465
00:28:41,284 --> 00:28:43,069
Probably, that'’s why I'’ve
been giving all my drinks
466
00:28:43,069 --> 00:28:46,159
-to that zombie over there.
-Are you fucking mad?
467
00:28:46,159 --> 00:28:48,204
Did you not hear
what the owner said?
468
00:28:48,204 --> 00:28:50,816
I don'’t give a shit.
I wanna see what happens.
469
00:28:50,816 --> 00:28:52,731
Anyway,
never mind that undead slut.
470
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:56,125
You see who'’s over there?
It'’s that bird from earlier.
471
00:28:56,125 --> 00:28:58,693
She'’s definitely
getting down downstairs
472
00:28:58,693 --> 00:29:00,869
thinking a meet with Big Jim,
do you know what I'’m saying?
473
00:29:00,869 --> 00:29:03,524
Jim, it'’s her job
to flirt with guys
474
00:29:03,524 --> 00:29:05,221
to get '’em into the club,
475
00:29:05,221 --> 00:29:06,962
and she didn'’t even
bother with us.
476
00:29:06,962 --> 00:29:08,747
Do you know what?
477
00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,487
I'’m gonna be the
bigger man here, yeah?
478
00:29:10,487 --> 00:29:12,359
You'’re the one
who'’s pining for his ex.
479
00:29:12,359 --> 00:29:14,056
So why don'’t you go over there
and give it a go?
480
00:29:14,056 --> 00:29:16,842
Well,
that'’s really generous of you.
481
00:29:16,842 --> 00:29:19,279
Speaking of your ex,
she was looking pretty smoking
482
00:29:19,279 --> 00:29:21,020
in that bikini of hers today.
483
00:29:21,020 --> 00:29:24,110
Don'’t talk about Ellie
like that, all right?
484
00:29:24,110 --> 00:29:26,068
It'’s bad enough
you perv on my sister.
485
00:29:26,068 --> 00:29:29,332
Look, mate, if me and your
sister doend up gettin'’ it on,
486
00:29:29,332 --> 00:29:31,378
which is entirely possible
given the way
487
00:29:31,378 --> 00:29:33,902
she'’s been looking at me,
that'’s nature taking its course.
488
00:29:33,902 --> 00:29:35,164
You can'’t hate on
a player for that.
489
00:29:35,164 --> 00:29:37,732
In the meantime,
you need to get yourself
490
00:29:37,732 --> 00:29:40,517
back on the minge horse,
get balls deep in some sluts.
491
00:29:40,517 --> 00:29:42,606
Starting
with that one over there.
492
00:29:42,606 --> 00:29:45,348
I don'’t want sluts!
493
00:29:45,348 --> 00:29:46,741
Sorry.
494
00:29:46,741 --> 00:29:48,134
I just want Ellie.
495
00:29:48,134 --> 00:29:51,354
I want sluts.
496
00:29:51,354 --> 00:29:52,355
What, you?
497
00:29:54,009 --> 00:29:55,489
You and her?
498
00:29:55,489 --> 00:29:57,099
Yeah, why not?
499
00:29:57,099 --> 00:29:59,406
Go on mate, be my guest.
This'’ll be hilarious.
500
00:30:04,585 --> 00:30:05,978
Bastard!
501
00:30:07,980 --> 00:30:09,633
Great stuff.
502
00:30:09,633 --> 00:30:14,247
Now, Maria,
don'’t insult the customers.
503
00:30:14,247 --> 00:30:16,510
You know what, Karl?
504
00:30:16,510 --> 00:30:19,861
You can stick your
shitty job into your ass!
505
00:30:19,861 --> 00:30:22,777
You are not turning me into
one of your fucking zombies.
506
00:30:36,312 --> 00:30:38,358
Crazy woman.
507
00:30:38,358 --> 00:30:40,708
I have absolutely no idea
what she'’s talking about.
508
00:30:40,708 --> 00:30:42,101
Let'’s get you another drink.
509
00:31:17,527 --> 00:31:18,964
You okay, hon?
510
00:31:18,964 --> 00:31:21,836
Yeah.
Just a bit pissed, you know?
511
00:31:21,836 --> 00:31:23,272
I think I might go to bed.
512
00:31:23,272 --> 00:31:26,580
No way, babe,
the night is young.
513
00:31:26,580 --> 00:31:29,235
Plus, I swear that smoldering
guy had his eyes on you.
514
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:35,284
Nah.
Not interested in me.
515
00:31:35,284 --> 00:31:37,417
Not with you girls around.
516
00:31:37,417 --> 00:31:41,073
It'’s okay, hon.
Go hit the sack if you want.
517
00:31:41,073 --> 00:31:44,946
Not everyone'’s made
for partying all night.
518
00:31:44,946 --> 00:31:47,253
Fuck, yeah!
That'’s what I'’m taking about.
519
00:31:47,253 --> 00:31:51,779
I took a couple of these
bitches back at the beach.
520
00:31:51,779 --> 00:31:54,434
Let me tell you,
they are fucking singing to me.
521
00:31:56,001 --> 00:31:57,480
Let'’s turn it up, baby!
522
00:32:02,659 --> 00:32:04,966
Fuck yeah!
523
00:32:18,110 --> 00:32:21,243
Last one in the pool'’s a loser!
524
00:32:21,243 --> 00:32:23,463
Whoo! Fuck, yeah!
525
00:32:23,463 --> 00:32:25,508
Whoo-hoo!
526
00:32:25,508 --> 00:32:28,555
-Pool party Ibiza!
-Whoo!
527
00:32:39,305 --> 00:32:42,482
- It'’s that guy.
- Yeah, off the telly.
528
00:32:42,482 --> 00:32:45,354
Hey, everybody
having a good time?
529
00:32:48,183 --> 00:32:50,185
Yeah, I was
until you turned up, you twat.
530
00:32:50,185 --> 00:32:53,536
Thank you.
So, ladies and gentlemen!
531
00:32:53,536 --> 00:32:56,496
On this night of nights,
532
00:32:56,496 --> 00:33:00,152
I bring to you a spectacle
the likes of which
533
00:33:00,152 --> 00:33:03,024
you'’ve never seen!
534
00:33:03,024 --> 00:33:05,679
Well, not me, I'’ve seen
pretty much everything.
535
00:33:05,679 --> 00:33:11,641
A show that will challenge
your minds,
536
00:33:11,641 --> 00:33:16,342
your souls,
your very principles!
537
00:33:19,562 --> 00:33:21,695
Again, I haven'’t got
any principles,
538
00:33:21,695 --> 00:33:24,089
so it doesn'’t count for me.
539
00:33:24,089 --> 00:33:27,744
And brace yourselves.
540
00:33:27,744 --> 00:33:29,616
Let the entertainment begin!
541
00:34:18,230 --> 00:34:21,059
I would love to cut
someone'’s arm off like that.
542
00:34:21,059 --> 00:34:23,583
This is the second-greatest
thing I'’ve ever seen in my life.
543
00:34:23,583 --> 00:34:25,933
As if you'’ve seen
anything better than this.
544
00:34:25,933 --> 00:34:28,153
I saw a little bit
of your sister'’s nipple
545
00:34:28,153 --> 00:34:29,763
- in the swimming pool
-I'’m gonna be sick.
546
00:34:29,763 --> 00:34:31,460
Absolute twat.
547
00:35:48,624 --> 00:35:51,279
-Is this the way out?!
-How am I supposed to know?
548
00:35:51,279 --> 00:35:54,152
Shit!
549
00:35:55,414 --> 00:35:57,111
She'’s too slippery, mate!
550
00:36:03,596 --> 00:36:05,685
-Just leave her, she'’s dead.
-Let'’s not take any chances.
551
00:36:05,685 --> 00:36:08,340
because if she wakes up
again and bites then...
552
00:36:08,340 --> 00:36:09,689
just check.
553
00:36:09,689 --> 00:36:11,560
She'’s definitely dead.
554
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,388
-She'’s dead, just leave her.
-No, she is dead, mate.
555
00:36:13,388 --> 00:36:15,260
I'’ve got a bit of a semi.
556
00:36:15,260 --> 00:36:18,045
Fine, absolutely fine,
let'’s go, let'’s just go.
557
00:36:20,439 --> 00:36:22,658
That was nuts!
558
00:36:22,658 --> 00:36:24,486
Can you just stop
enjoying yourself?
559
00:36:24,486 --> 00:36:26,271
We just saw people get killed.
560
00:36:26,271 --> 00:36:28,229
No, Alex, we just saw
people get killed by zombies.
561
00:36:28,229 --> 00:36:29,709
That'’s different.
That'’s cooler.
562
00:36:43,505 --> 00:36:45,072
No, it'’s fine, man.
563
00:36:45,072 --> 00:36:47,248
They can'’t...
look, it'’s a push door.
564
00:36:49,816 --> 00:36:52,775
Please don'’t...
please don'’t bite me.
565
00:36:52,775 --> 00:36:54,429
Tell you what,
you'’re just perfect ho for that.
566
00:36:54,429 --> 00:36:56,083
And I'’ll kiss
your friend as well.
567
00:36:56,083 --> 00:36:58,346
Yeah, not the...
fuck off the guys, just the...
568
00:36:58,346 --> 00:37:00,218
I'’m calling Ellie,
see if she'’s okay.
569
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:02,220
What are you
calling her for, man?
570
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:05,179
At this time of night,
she'’ll just be tucked up in bed,
571
00:37:05,179 --> 00:37:09,227
lightly touching herself
to a Jane Austen novel.
572
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:10,837
Yeah.
573
00:37:27,419 --> 00:37:31,988
Ellie, Ellie.
Leave it, okay?
574
00:37:31,988 --> 00:37:35,818
You need to relax.
Okay, just relax.
575
00:37:38,343 --> 00:37:40,562
She'’s not answering.
I'’ll call Liz.
576
00:37:40,562 --> 00:37:42,608
Duh, she'’s not
gonna answer either.
577
00:37:42,608 --> 00:37:44,131
Why not?
578
00:37:44,131 --> 00:37:46,089
Because
she'’ll be lezzing off
579
00:37:46,089 --> 00:37:49,876
with Zara, of course,
real life, not like a porno.
580
00:38:03,498 --> 00:38:05,718
Babe,
he'’s not even looking.
581
00:38:05,718 --> 00:38:08,373
-Losing your touch.
-Shut up.
582
00:38:08,373 --> 00:38:10,723
This is unbelievable,
Miss Goody Two Shoes there
583
00:38:10,723 --> 00:38:12,333
is like getting some action
584
00:38:12,333 --> 00:38:14,814
whilst I'’m here lezzing
it off with you.
585
00:38:14,814 --> 00:38:16,163
No offense, of course.
586
00:38:16,163 --> 00:38:19,993
Shut up, Zara.
You wish you could have me.
587
00:38:19,993 --> 00:38:22,082
Right, if I'’m not gonna get
any action,
588
00:38:22,082 --> 00:38:23,692
I'’m gonna go to bed.
589
00:38:23,692 --> 00:38:24,998
You gonna come into bed?
590
00:38:24,998 --> 00:38:26,565
No, I think I might go
for a swim,
591
00:38:26,565 --> 00:38:28,349
wait for Alex to get home.
592
00:38:28,349 --> 00:38:30,177
If he finds out Ellie'’s
with that bloke,
593
00:38:30,177 --> 00:38:31,831
he'’s gonna go mental.
594
00:38:31,831 --> 00:38:34,094
Look, no offense
to your brother, babe,
595
00:38:34,094 --> 00:38:37,097
but she deserves
to have some fun.
596
00:38:37,097 --> 00:38:38,533
Yeah, I know.
597
00:38:38,533 --> 00:38:40,274
I know my brother'’s
a little dickhead,
598
00:38:40,274 --> 00:38:43,277
but I can'’t have him
getting any more pathetic
599
00:38:43,277 --> 00:38:45,366
than what he already is.
600
00:38:45,366 --> 00:38:47,412
Right.
I'’m gonna take this.
601
00:38:47,412 --> 00:38:49,718
-Good night, babe.
-Good night.
602
00:38:49,718 --> 00:38:51,241
My God,
this one'’s gonna have
603
00:38:51,241 --> 00:38:53,026
a headache tomorrow.
604
00:38:56,203 --> 00:38:59,424
So you'’re calling Az,
then?
605
00:38:59,424 --> 00:39:01,948
-No.
-No? Well, what you doin'’?
606
00:39:04,472 --> 00:39:06,213
Well, I'’ll call him then,
shall I?
607
00:39:06,213 --> 00:39:08,563
For goodness sakes.
He should be home by now.
608
00:39:08,563 --> 00:39:09,956
Come on, Az.
609
00:39:20,749 --> 00:39:24,927
Something'’s wrong.
None of them are answering.
610
00:39:24,927 --> 00:39:27,930
Right, we'’ve got to get
back to the villa now.
611
00:39:27,930 --> 00:39:29,192
Come on!
612
00:39:31,630 --> 00:39:33,675
Alex, man, come on!
613
00:39:33,675 --> 00:39:35,634
Granted there are zombies,
damn it,
614
00:39:35,634 --> 00:39:37,331
but the villa'’s miles away!
615
00:39:37,331 --> 00:39:38,811
There'’s literally no chance
616
00:39:38,811 --> 00:39:41,422
there'’ll be zombies
up there as well.
617
00:40:38,740 --> 00:40:40,525
It does not stink
of rotten fish.
618
00:40:40,525 --> 00:40:42,265
It'’s actually
a bloody nice kebab
619
00:40:42,265 --> 00:40:44,485
made by a really nice
bloody kebab maker.
620
00:40:44,485 --> 00:40:45,965
You'’re out of your mind.
621
00:40:45,965 --> 00:40:48,489
Shit.
622
00:40:48,489 --> 00:40:52,188
Fuck.
623
00:40:52,188 --> 00:40:53,625
Fucking come.
624
00:40:56,715 --> 00:40:58,543
Zombies in the nightclub.
625
00:40:58,543 --> 00:41:01,328
Now zombies here.
What are the chances of that?
626
00:41:01,328 --> 00:41:03,504
-It'’s madness.
-I told ya.
627
00:41:09,118 --> 00:41:11,730
Maybe we could
just go back that bar,
628
00:41:11,730 --> 00:41:13,558
get a few beers,
check out the birds.
629
00:41:13,558 --> 00:41:16,212
No way!
Ellie'’s in there.
630
00:41:16,212 --> 00:41:18,737
Yeah, maybe we could
just go back to that bar,
631
00:41:18,737 --> 00:41:20,739
get a few beers,
check out the birds?
632
00:41:20,739 --> 00:41:22,218
My sister'’s in there, too.
633
00:41:26,919 --> 00:41:29,138
Did you just look at your penis
thinking about my sister?
634
00:41:29,138 --> 00:41:31,706
-No.
-You... you did.
635
00:41:31,706 --> 00:41:34,883
I didn'’t.
Definitely didn'’t. I didn'’t
636
00:41:34,883 --> 00:41:38,147
We should...
we can get around the back.
637
00:41:38,147 --> 00:41:40,759
-Yeah, fine.
-Come on.
638
00:41:55,643 --> 00:41:59,386
Stop smiling,
you fucking son of bitch.
639
00:41:59,386 --> 00:42:01,431
Can'’t believe you made me hold
this bloody kebab!
640
00:42:01,431 --> 00:42:03,346
Yo, give it to me.
Just give me the kebab, Alex!
641
00:42:03,346 --> 00:42:05,958
-I'’m gonna, I'’m gonna swing.
-Just give me the kebab
642
00:42:05,958 --> 00:42:07,916
-and I will let you down.
-How are we gonna do this?
643
00:42:07,916 --> 00:42:09,614
-You'’re just gonna hand it to...
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
644
00:42:09,614 --> 00:42:11,311
Whoa, whoa, okay, okay,
I'’m gonna give to you,
645
00:42:11,311 --> 00:42:13,139
-I'’m gonna give it to you.
-Hand me the kebab.
646
00:42:13,139 --> 00:42:15,402
-See, how easy was that?
-You almost
just bloody killed me.
647
00:42:15,402 --> 00:42:16,969
Just given me
the kebab in the first place...
648
00:42:16,969 --> 00:42:18,536
That doner'’s gonna be
the killer of us, man!
649
00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:20,102
Shit!
Hands off my bloody doner!
650
00:42:20,102 --> 00:42:21,713
Alex, do something!
651
00:42:21,713 --> 00:42:24,106
Just throw the kebab.
Kebab might distract him.
652
00:42:24,106 --> 00:42:26,195
No, Alex, you throw
yourkebab at him.
653
00:42:26,195 --> 00:42:28,458
-Well, I haven'’t got a kebab.
-Well, then use something else.
654
00:42:28,458 --> 00:42:29,503
-What?
-Use that!
655
00:42:35,988 --> 00:42:37,293
Dude.
656
00:42:49,654 --> 00:42:52,657
That is disgusting.
657
00:42:52,657 --> 00:42:54,572
It'’s almost enough
to put me off my...
658
00:42:57,052 --> 00:42:59,751
Come on, let'’s go.
659
00:42:59,751 --> 00:43:01,927
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
660
00:43:01,927 --> 00:43:03,102
Alex?
661
00:43:03,102 --> 00:43:05,539
Yeah?
662
00:43:05,539 --> 00:43:07,106
Did that zombie
just say "dude"?
663
00:43:09,456 --> 00:43:10,631
No.
664
00:43:10,631 --> 00:43:15,244
No, I mean, that was a...
665
00:43:15,244 --> 00:43:16,724
that was a zombie growl,
wasn'’t it?
666
00:43:16,724 --> 00:43:19,466
Yeah. Yeah.
667
00:43:19,466 --> 00:43:21,947
That... that was
a zombie growl, wasn'’t it?
668
00:43:21,947 --> 00:43:23,601
-Yeah.
-That was, yeah?
669
00:43:23,601 --> 00:43:26,299
Yeah, definitely, yeah.
Yeah.
670
00:43:26,299 --> 00:43:28,649
Yeah.
Zombie, definite zombie.
671
00:43:30,956 --> 00:43:35,569
Jesus.
Thank God you'’re all right.
672
00:43:35,569 --> 00:43:37,353
Yeah, we'’re fine.
673
00:43:37,353 --> 00:43:39,704
But there are shit load
of zombies out there.
674
00:43:39,704 --> 00:43:42,924
Whoa, did you mash up
a zombie, too, Liz?
675
00:43:42,924 --> 00:43:44,752
-Is Ellie okay?
-Yeah, she'’s fine.
676
00:43:44,752 --> 00:43:46,362
-Well, where is she?
-She'’s inside.
677
00:43:46,362 --> 00:43:47,668
No, but I...
I wouldn'’t... I wouldn'’t...
678
00:43:50,192 --> 00:43:52,978
- What, no hug for me?
- Fuck off.
679
00:43:52,978 --> 00:43:55,981
-Do you wanna share this?
-Fuck off.
680
00:43:55,981 --> 00:43:57,722
Fuck it, I have some
interracial stuff on my laptop.
681
00:43:57,722 --> 00:43:59,637
I'’ll just have a wank instead.
682
00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:01,682
Ellie! Ellie...
683
00:44:01,682 --> 00:44:04,990
Dude, what the fuck?
684
00:44:04,990 --> 00:44:07,732
This is totes not cool,
I just spent the last
685
00:44:07,732 --> 00:44:09,734
long, arduous 20 minutes
on foreplay.
686
00:44:09,734 --> 00:44:12,345
What? You said you
were a trained masseuse.
687
00:44:14,913 --> 00:44:17,567
Alex, is that blood
on your shoes?
688
00:44:17,567 --> 00:44:20,570
What the hell is going on?
689
00:44:20,570 --> 00:44:24,096
Well... there'’s loads
of zombies outside.
690
00:44:24,096 --> 00:44:26,098
A-and I'’ve had to kill some.
691
00:44:26,098 --> 00:44:27,577
I come to warn you,
692
00:44:27,577 --> 00:44:29,884
but I don'’t know why
I bothered now.
693
00:44:29,884 --> 00:44:31,756
Look, this is total
bertie bollocks.
694
00:44:31,756 --> 00:44:35,368
Okay, come on Ellie.
We'’ve got business to finish.
695
00:44:35,368 --> 00:44:37,065
It'’s your turn
to give mea rubdown,
696
00:44:37,065 --> 00:44:38,458
if you know what I mean,
697
00:44:38,458 --> 00:44:41,026
and you, wanker,
if you interrupt us again,
698
00:44:41,026 --> 00:44:42,723
I will knock
your bloody block off.
699
00:44:42,723 --> 00:44:44,682
Alex,
are you telling the truth?
700
00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:46,509
-Yeah.
-He is.
701
00:44:46,509 --> 00:44:47,815
Zombies, thousands of them.
702
00:44:49,948 --> 00:44:53,212
What... are you two...
that'’s a bit awkward, isn'’t it?
703
00:44:53,212 --> 00:44:54,561
Shut up, Jim.
704
00:44:54,561 --> 00:44:56,781
Look, there'’s not
thousands of '’em,
705
00:44:56,781 --> 00:44:59,044
but there'’s at least 30
surrounding the house.
706
00:44:59,044 --> 00:45:00,915
God.
707
00:45:00,915 --> 00:45:03,788
Look, Ellie, if you'’re not
gonna nosh me off,
708
00:45:03,788 --> 00:45:05,746
then I'’m getting out of here,
all right?
709
00:45:05,746 --> 00:45:07,052
It'’s been fun guys,
710
00:45:07,052 --> 00:45:09,097
but this is Rupes
saying sayonara.
711
00:45:09,097 --> 00:45:10,838
I'’m gonna call a cab.
712
00:45:10,838 --> 00:45:13,058
Like you'’re gonna
have any luck with that, mate.
713
00:45:13,058 --> 00:45:14,450
There'’s a zombie
apocalypse outside.
714
00:45:14,450 --> 00:45:15,669
You'’re not gonna have
any signal.
715
00:45:15,669 --> 00:45:17,279
Three bars, actually.
716
00:45:20,543 --> 00:45:22,458
Yeah, so do I.
That'’s weird.
717
00:45:22,458 --> 00:45:25,418
Anyway, catch you around,
sugar tits.
718
00:45:25,418 --> 00:45:28,508
By the way,
has anybody seen Todd?
719
00:45:28,508 --> 00:45:30,510
Who'’s Todd?
720
00:45:30,510 --> 00:45:33,339
Ciao, losers.
721
00:45:33,339 --> 00:45:35,428
Look, never mind Todd.
Have you seen Az?
722
00:45:35,428 --> 00:45:38,300
-He'’s nowhere to be found.
-Wasn'’t he with you?
723
00:45:38,300 --> 00:45:40,215
You'’ve not lost him,
have you?
724
00:45:40,215 --> 00:45:43,218
No. He said
he was coming back here.
725
00:45:43,218 --> 00:45:44,611
Well, is one of you
gonna call him?
726
00:45:44,611 --> 00:45:47,701
Jim can.
I... I haven'’t got any signal.
727
00:45:47,701 --> 00:45:49,703
You'’re not gonna have any
signals on airplane mode.
728
00:45:49,703 --> 00:45:51,879
Are you, Alex?
Such a tight bastard.
729
00:45:51,879 --> 00:45:53,098
Thank you.
730
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:29,264
Voicemail,
he could be anywhere.
731
00:46:29,264 --> 00:46:32,833
God.
His mom'’s gonna bloody kill us.
732
00:46:38,404 --> 00:46:39,884
Does it hurt?
733
00:46:39,884 --> 00:46:42,582
Of course it bloody well hurts.
Look at it.
734
00:46:42,582 --> 00:46:46,891
Some madman just ate my phone
and took a piece of me with it.
735
00:46:46,891 --> 00:46:48,806
Well, just chill, yeah?
736
00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:51,112
And pleasetry not
to get blood on the sofa.
737
00:46:51,112 --> 00:46:53,071
My deposit'’s already fucked.
738
00:46:53,071 --> 00:46:56,074
-Is that supposed to be
some sort of joke?
-Have you seen the pool?
739
00:46:56,074 --> 00:46:59,338
Look at him. He has to go.
He'’s gonna turn.
740
00:46:59,338 --> 00:47:01,819
No way, piss off,
I'’m not leaving anywhere
741
00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:03,603
unless it'’s in an ambulance.
742
00:47:03,603 --> 00:47:06,693
You, Kenan and Kel
with three bars, you call one.
743
00:47:06,693 --> 00:47:10,871
Right, that is both offensive
and probably also racist, right?
744
00:47:10,871 --> 00:47:14,222
But given the situation
we find ourselves in...
745
00:47:18,052 --> 00:47:19,967
They'’re not even answering,
anyway.
746
00:47:19,967 --> 00:47:21,882
Did me and Alex not explain
that we came from a nightclub
747
00:47:21,882 --> 00:47:23,797
that turned into
a zombie bloodbath earlier?
748
00:47:23,797 --> 00:47:26,539
- They'’re probably busy.
-If we'’re not
gonna turf him out,
749
00:47:26,539 --> 00:47:29,150
well... we'’re just gonna
have to kill '’em ourselves.
750
00:47:29,150 --> 00:47:30,891
Alex, we'’re not
killing anyone.
751
00:47:30,891 --> 00:47:33,241
-He'’s infected.
-Look, you prick.
752
00:47:33,241 --> 00:47:34,982
Okay, I'’m sorry that
your girlfriend fancies me.
753
00:47:34,982 --> 00:47:36,984
This is all getting a bit
too dramatic for my liking.
754
00:47:36,984 --> 00:47:41,162
Ex-girlfriend.
And I don'’t fancy you.
755
00:47:41,162 --> 00:47:43,904
- Come on.
- Um, guys?
756
00:47:43,904 --> 00:47:46,820
I don'’t mean to alarm you,
but there'’s a bunch of ugly
757
00:47:46,820 --> 00:47:48,778
motherfucking zombies
outside the villa.
758
00:47:48,778 --> 00:47:51,869
Yeah, cheers, anyone got
anything constructive to say?
759
00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:54,610
-We need to kill him.
-Alex,
we'’re not killing anybody.
760
00:47:54,610 --> 00:47:57,657
W-wait, why are we even
discussing killing someone?
761
00:47:57,657 --> 00:47:59,659
He'’s been bitten
by a zombie.
762
00:47:59,659 --> 00:48:03,358
Well,
have you considered,
763
00:48:03,358 --> 00:48:05,404
maybe amputating his hand?
764
00:48:05,404 --> 00:48:08,668
What?
I need my bloody hand.
765
00:48:08,668 --> 00:48:10,583
Wait, that...
that could work.
766
00:48:10,583 --> 00:48:13,760
If we get to the infection
before it hits his brain.
767
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:16,154
G-girls.
768
00:48:16,154 --> 00:48:18,199
Come on, you'’re not
gonna let him do this.
769
00:48:18,199 --> 00:48:20,027
You can'’t chop
my fucking hand off.
770
00:48:20,027 --> 00:48:21,507
Look, man, I'’ve had enough
of this, yeah?
771
00:48:21,507 --> 00:48:22,987
You'’re doing my head in.
772
00:48:22,987 --> 00:48:24,727
Five minutes ago,
it was your bloody hand.
773
00:48:24,727 --> 00:48:26,904
Any more of your
little procrastination,
774
00:48:26,904 --> 00:48:29,210
I'’m gonna have to take
more of your physique off.
775
00:48:29,210 --> 00:48:30,864
Probably be
your whole arm next.
776
00:48:30,864 --> 00:48:33,432
And any more delay,
it'’s gonna be your head.
777
00:48:33,432 --> 00:48:35,608
I don'’t say this
very often,
778
00:48:35,608 --> 00:48:38,263
but I think these
dickheads might be right.
779
00:48:38,263 --> 00:48:39,829
Rupert,
it'’s your choice, all right?
780
00:48:39,829 --> 00:48:42,180
We try amputating your hand,
or you leave now
781
00:48:42,180 --> 00:48:44,008
and take your chances
with the zombies.
782
00:48:44,008 --> 00:48:45,357
We can'’t risk you turning.
783
00:48:52,190 --> 00:48:53,408
Ellie...
784
00:48:59,762 --> 00:49:02,809
Okay. Okay.
785
00:49:04,463 --> 00:49:06,552
Um...
786
00:49:06,552 --> 00:49:08,249
just need to do
something first.
787
00:49:28,617 --> 00:49:30,402
That'’s ketamine.
788
00:49:30,402 --> 00:49:34,275
Five minutes time,
I won'’t be able to feel my arm.
789
00:49:34,275 --> 00:49:36,538
I'’ll take that.
790
00:49:36,538 --> 00:49:39,933
Alex, go and find
a knife or something.
791
00:49:39,933 --> 00:49:42,588
Yes.
792
00:49:42,588 --> 00:49:45,243
I actually think it might be
better if we just got a gun,
793
00:49:45,243 --> 00:49:46,984
Like a shotgun and just took
the whole thing clean off.
794
00:49:46,984 --> 00:49:48,768
Jim, if you can'’t say
anything fucking useful,
795
00:49:48,768 --> 00:49:50,248
then just stay out of it.
796
00:49:50,248 --> 00:49:53,860
Can'’t say anything useful,
797
00:49:53,860 --> 00:49:56,906
How about...
798
00:49:56,906 --> 00:49:59,431
ordering a bloody rescue,
getting us out of here?
799
00:50:30,157 --> 00:50:32,855
Yo.
800
00:50:32,855 --> 00:50:36,468
Hello, mate, hi, how you doing?
It'’s, it'’s Jim.
801
00:50:36,468 --> 00:50:39,166
The guy that you picked up
with the other two guys
802
00:50:39,166 --> 00:50:43,518
and the girl in the van
to take the villa earlier.
803
00:50:43,518 --> 00:50:47,044
Yeah, um, I was just wondering
if maybe, I don'’t know,
804
00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:49,263
you wanted to come up here
and sort of maybe rescue us?
805
00:50:49,263 --> 00:50:52,005
No, man.
806
00:50:53,833 --> 00:50:56,270
I ain'’t going nowhere.
807
00:50:56,270 --> 00:51:00,187
Have you not looked outside?
808
00:51:01,797 --> 00:51:06,106
That'’s some end-of-days shit,
right there.
809
00:51:06,106 --> 00:51:10,110
Yeah, that'’s kind of what
I'’m calling you about, actually.
810
00:51:10,110 --> 00:51:11,851
We'’ve... we'’ve sort
of got a few zombies
811
00:51:11,851 --> 00:51:14,158
up here as well and stuff,
and I wondered if maybe
812
00:51:14,158 --> 00:51:16,116
you wanted to come down here
and rescue us
813
00:51:16,116 --> 00:51:18,814
and bring your shotgun?
814
00:51:18,814 --> 00:51:20,381
I mean,
we'’ll pay you, obviously.
815
00:51:20,381 --> 00:51:21,774
Has anyone got any money?
816
00:51:21,774 --> 00:51:24,124
No, man.
817
00:51:24,124 --> 00:51:27,084
Money'’s no good to me.
818
00:51:29,999 --> 00:51:33,525
Not much you can
buy in an apocalypse.
819
00:51:33,525 --> 00:51:35,570
You get me?
820
00:51:39,444 --> 00:51:41,185
Yeah, right.
821
00:51:41,185 --> 00:51:43,970
Yeah, he'’s not...
he'’s not having it.
822
00:51:43,970 --> 00:51:46,233
Don'’t be long.
Do not be long.
823
00:51:46,233 --> 00:51:48,105
Hello?
824
00:51:52,152 --> 00:51:54,023
Who is this?
825
00:51:54,023 --> 00:51:57,549
There are three
hot-ass bitches here.
826
00:51:57,549 --> 00:52:01,335
Yeah? And we would
really appreciate it
827
00:52:01,335 --> 00:52:03,598
if you came and rescued us.
828
00:52:03,598 --> 00:52:08,473
And how do I know you are not
one of your English...
829
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:13,217
munters?
830
00:52:13,217 --> 00:52:15,654
Munters?
831
00:52:15,654 --> 00:52:20,224
Sir, look, I will send you
a photo, okay?
832
00:52:20,224 --> 00:52:24,358
I don'’t care about your face.
833
00:52:24,358 --> 00:52:27,927
I just wanna see your titties.
834
00:52:27,927 --> 00:52:29,407
Titties?
835
00:52:29,407 --> 00:52:31,409
All three of you.
836
00:52:33,715 --> 00:52:35,369
And then maybe...
837
00:52:37,545 --> 00:52:40,200
I'’ll think it over.
838
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:43,725
Um...
839
00:52:43,725 --> 00:52:45,074
great.
840
00:52:45,074 --> 00:52:47,512
Start your engine, thanks.
841
00:52:52,517 --> 00:52:55,215
-Okay, take a photo.
-You sure about this, yeah?
842
00:52:55,215 --> 00:52:57,130
-Yeah.
-Do you want me...
I should probably do this.
843
00:52:57,130 --> 00:53:00,089
Fuck off, Jim.
Go help Alex or something.
844
00:53:00,089 --> 00:53:03,180
Are we just gonna do tits?
What about some ass shots?
845
00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:04,964
-We don'’t know what he likes.
-I mean it.
846
00:53:04,964 --> 00:53:07,140
Yeah, okay.
847
00:53:07,140 --> 00:53:10,099
Are you sure this
is a good idea, Zara?
848
00:53:10,099 --> 00:53:11,927
This guy'’s a real creep.
849
00:53:11,927 --> 00:53:14,408
Have you got a better idea?
850
00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:17,455
Look, I'’m sorry for snapping,
but desperate times,
851
00:53:17,455 --> 00:53:20,936
and these arethe only things
we can bargain with.
852
00:53:27,421 --> 00:53:30,076
-Yep. Yeah, nice.
-Yeah?
853
00:53:30,076 --> 00:53:31,773
Okay, your turn.
854
00:53:34,559 --> 00:53:36,387
Fucking hurry up, Zar.
855
00:53:36,387 --> 00:53:39,955
Hold on, I'’m just trying to get
the right Instagram filter.
856
00:53:39,955 --> 00:53:42,088
Yep, got it.
857
00:53:42,088 --> 00:53:44,221
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
858
00:53:44,221 --> 00:53:46,179
Right, Ellie, pop them out.
859
00:53:46,179 --> 00:53:49,095
What?
You can leave me out of it.
860
00:53:49,095 --> 00:53:52,011
This might be our only way
out of here.
861
00:53:52,011 --> 00:53:54,927
I'’m not texting some weirdo
topless pictures.
862
00:53:54,927 --> 00:53:57,103
You girls didn'’t see
this guy earlier.
863
00:53:57,103 --> 00:53:58,800
I really don'’t trust him.
864
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:00,324
He'’s not that bad, Ellie.
For God'’s sake.
865
00:54:00,324 --> 00:54:01,890
Trust you to make
a big deal of it.
866
00:54:01,890 --> 00:54:03,936
They'’re not even that big,
anyway.
867
00:54:03,936 --> 00:54:06,286
You didn'’t mind getting them out
for this loser, did ya?
868
00:54:08,027 --> 00:54:09,942
Look, Ellie, I-I'’m sorry.
869
00:54:09,942 --> 00:54:13,032
Forget it, Alex!
870
00:54:13,032 --> 00:54:15,469
You girls
can sort yourselves out.
871
00:54:15,469 --> 00:54:17,384
I want no part of this.
872
00:54:17,384 --> 00:54:19,386
Well done, lads.
873
00:54:19,386 --> 00:54:23,260
I see why you'’re such
a fucking hit with the ladies.
874
00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:25,087
Well this is great,
isn'’t it?
875
00:54:25,087 --> 00:54:27,264
Where are we gonna find a
third pair of tits for him now?
876
00:54:33,139 --> 00:54:34,967
you can all piss off.
877
00:54:55,509 --> 00:54:59,383
Mama.
878
00:55:02,037 --> 00:55:04,997
I feel fucking violated, man.
Get off me.
879
00:55:04,997 --> 00:55:08,653
Guys, I don'’t mean
to interrupt a deep moment,
880
00:55:08,653 --> 00:55:12,178
but his whole arm
is turning black.
881
00:55:14,876 --> 00:55:18,271
Jim...
grab his arm, mate.
882
00:55:18,271 --> 00:55:19,925
My pleasure, doctor.
883
00:55:19,925 --> 00:55:22,101
Alex, are you sure
you know what you'’re doing?
884
00:55:22,101 --> 00:55:23,929
-Do you want me to do it?
-No, no.
885
00:55:25,887 --> 00:55:27,846
I'’ll do this.
886
00:55:27,846 --> 00:55:30,892
I'’m gonna...
I'’m gonna go pack.
887
00:55:34,722 --> 00:55:36,594
I think I'’m gonna be sick.
888
00:55:50,042 --> 00:55:52,610
Fuck.
Fuck, shit.
889
00:55:52,610 --> 00:55:54,176
Fuck.
890
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:02,359
Shit.
891
00:56:10,976 --> 00:56:14,806
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Shit, fuck.
892
00:56:14,806 --> 00:56:19,941
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
893
00:56:34,739 --> 00:56:35,914
Hello?
894
00:56:40,875 --> 00:56:42,007
Jim?
895
00:56:46,664 --> 00:56:47,926
Alex?
896
00:56:59,459 --> 00:57:00,808
Stay there.
897
00:57:10,688 --> 00:57:13,081
Where'’s my other arm?
898
00:57:13,081 --> 00:57:14,822
What are you doing?
899
00:57:17,999 --> 00:57:21,263
Maybe we
should do this in the morning?
900
00:57:21,263 --> 00:57:23,483
No, it'’s not breaking.
Jim?
901
00:57:23,483 --> 00:57:25,659
Jim, just fucking smash it.
902
00:57:25,659 --> 00:57:27,661
Just fucking break it.
903
00:57:27,661 --> 00:57:29,271
Fucking Ellie.
904
00:57:31,491 --> 00:57:32,884
Go, go, break it.
905
00:57:34,494 --> 00:57:36,931
Fuck. Fuck.
906
00:57:36,931 --> 00:57:37,932
Fuck.
907
00:58:18,712 --> 00:58:20,279
Hello?
908
00:58:21,976 --> 00:58:24,109
Hello.
909
00:58:50,614 --> 00:58:53,399
Shit!
Watch the door!
910
00:58:53,399 --> 00:58:55,923
Well, w-what about him?
911
00:58:55,923 --> 00:58:59,492
I handle him.
Look out for Karl.
912
00:59:10,416 --> 00:59:13,550
Hi, Karl!
We'’re down here.
913
00:59:17,336 --> 00:59:18,555
Yeah, come on.
914
00:59:21,253 --> 00:59:24,082
Well, aren'’t you
a sight for sore eyes.
915
00:59:24,082 --> 00:59:27,912
Just in time, too,
I'’m about to fuck off the island
916
00:59:27,912 --> 00:59:31,002
- before the cops turn up.
- Leave him alone.
917
00:59:31,002 --> 00:59:33,526
He came back for me,
not for you.
918
00:59:33,526 --> 00:59:35,833
Well, actually I was
just looking for a way out.
919
00:59:35,833 --> 00:59:38,966
I hardly think he'’s gonna be
interested in... that.
920
00:59:38,966 --> 00:59:42,056
So, what do you say,
young Az?
921
00:59:42,056 --> 00:59:44,668
How do you fancy sailing off
into the sunset
922
00:59:44,668 --> 00:59:46,800
on Uncle Karl'’s yacht?
923
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:49,020
Thanks for the offer.
924
00:59:49,020 --> 00:59:52,240
And I really appreciate this.
925
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:56,201
And I'’m sure you'’re a...
a lovely man and everything,
926
00:59:56,201 --> 00:59:59,813
But, you know, with
a and a?
927
00:59:59,813 --> 01:00:01,336
Well, your loss.
928
01:00:01,336 --> 01:00:03,991
If you'’re looking
for the yacht keys,
929
01:00:03,991 --> 01:00:05,427
they'’re in that drawer.
930
01:00:05,427 --> 01:00:07,821
Be a sweetheart
and throw them over, would you?
931
01:00:17,831 --> 01:00:19,703
Thanks. Now...
932
01:00:19,703 --> 01:00:22,444
Don'’t move,
you fucking freak.
933
01:00:25,447 --> 01:00:28,712
Sorry, what are you gonna do?
Shoot me?
934
01:00:28,712 --> 01:00:32,672
You?
The worst promo girl in Ibiza?
935
01:00:34,805 --> 01:00:37,546
Yeah.
936
01:00:37,546 --> 01:00:40,114
Ooh!
937
01:00:40,114 --> 01:00:43,509
You see what'’s happened
there is...
938
01:00:45,337 --> 01:00:47,600
I'’ve got the real gun.
939
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:50,081
Kind of similar,
aren'’t they?
940
01:00:50,081 --> 01:00:53,519
Easy to get confused.
941
01:00:53,519 --> 01:00:55,216
Now...
942
01:00:55,216 --> 01:00:57,392
You'’ll have to go
through me first.
943
01:00:57,392 --> 01:00:59,568
Don'’t worry.
944
01:00:59,568 --> 01:01:01,483
I was planning to.
945
01:01:01,483 --> 01:01:03,268
Do you mean
in like a gay way?
946
01:01:04,835 --> 01:01:08,360
Sorry,
I'’m no good with innuendo.
947
01:01:12,016 --> 01:01:13,234
Good night, sweetheart.
948
01:01:26,204 --> 01:01:29,729
Thought you were supposed
to be looking after Rupert?
949
01:01:29,729 --> 01:01:32,601
Chill, bitch.
Alex is looking after Rupert.
950
01:01:32,601 --> 01:01:35,039
And Ellie'’s looking after Alex
to make sure
951
01:01:35,039 --> 01:01:38,259
Alex doesn'’t cut any more
of Rupert'’s limbs off.
952
01:01:38,259 --> 01:01:40,348
It'’s all fine.
What are you up to, anyway?
953
01:01:40,348 --> 01:01:43,569
Come here.
954
01:01:43,569 --> 01:01:45,832
I mean,
you know about all these...
955
01:01:45,832 --> 01:01:47,355
things.
956
01:01:49,575 --> 01:01:51,359
Do you think they
remember who they were?
957
01:01:51,359 --> 01:01:54,406
Remember who they used to be?
958
01:01:54,406 --> 01:01:55,407
I don'’t know.
959
01:01:56,887 --> 01:01:59,977
They seem so...
960
01:01:59,977 --> 01:02:01,195
sad.
961
01:02:09,116 --> 01:02:12,772
We'’re going to end up
like that, aren'’t we?
962
01:02:12,772 --> 01:02:14,643
You never know, it might be...
963
01:02:14,643 --> 01:02:16,776
might be fun being a zombie.
964
01:02:16,776 --> 01:02:18,822
Shut up, you twat.
965
01:02:18,822 --> 01:02:20,824
You'’re supposed to be
making me feel better
966
01:02:20,824 --> 01:02:24,044
and saying
it'’s all gonna be fine.
967
01:02:24,044 --> 01:02:26,133
Sorry.
968
01:02:26,133 --> 01:02:28,962
You really are
a useless prick, aren'’t ya?
969
01:02:28,962 --> 01:02:31,704
Yeah, and you'’re a bossy cow.
With great tits, though.
970
01:02:31,704 --> 01:02:34,272
Bossy?
Do you think I'’m bossy?
971
01:02:34,272 --> 01:02:37,014
I'’m only trying
to look after everyone.
972
01:02:37,014 --> 01:02:39,190
With great tits
come great responsibility.
973
01:02:39,190 --> 01:02:41,453
Fuck, can you be serious
for just one minute?
974
01:02:41,453 --> 01:02:44,543
Is there ever an end
to your bullshit?
975
01:02:44,543 --> 01:02:46,893
No, I mean it, I mean,
we'’ve all got our roles.
976
01:02:46,893 --> 01:02:49,243
I mean,
you'’re the kick-ass bitch.
977
01:02:49,243 --> 01:02:50,897
-I'’m the funny one...
-Sorry...
978
01:02:50,897 --> 01:02:52,333
the funny one?
979
01:02:52,333 --> 01:02:55,119
You think
you'’re the funny one?
980
01:02:55,119 --> 01:02:57,904
No, you'’re about
as funny as bowel cancer.
981
01:02:57,904 --> 01:03:00,080
I thought the funny one
was that...
982
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:02,169
what'’s his name,
that little one?
983
01:03:02,169 --> 01:03:03,605
I thought
he was the funny one.
984
01:03:03,605 --> 01:03:05,520
-What, Az?
-Yeah.
985
01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:07,392
No.
986
01:03:07,392 --> 01:03:10,917
Suppose we probably should try
and find him, though, you know?
987
01:03:10,917 --> 01:03:14,007
Hang on.
988
01:03:14,007 --> 01:03:16,009
If I'’m not the funny one,
then what have I got left?
989
01:03:16,009 --> 01:03:17,489
The fat one?
990
01:03:17,489 --> 01:03:19,230
The one who'’s man boobs
you laugh at?
991
01:03:19,230 --> 01:03:21,275
I don'’t know, who knows?
992
01:03:21,275 --> 01:03:22,842
You might actually
be a nice person
993
01:03:22,842 --> 01:03:24,888
underneath all that crap.
994
01:03:27,151 --> 01:03:30,502
I just want to go home
and just...
995
01:03:30,502 --> 01:03:33,810
s-see my parents, you know?
996
01:03:33,810 --> 01:03:36,856
Zombie apocalypse
isn'’t all it'’s cracked up to be.
997
01:03:36,856 --> 01:03:39,598
It'’s more...
998
01:03:39,598 --> 01:03:41,600
more real, you know?
999
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:43,863
I know.
We'’ll be home soon.
1000
01:03:43,863 --> 01:03:46,910
No.
1001
01:03:46,910 --> 01:03:49,216
No. I know how
this is gonna end for me.
1002
01:03:49,216 --> 01:03:51,871
I'’m destined to be
an all-you-can-eat buffet
1003
01:03:51,871 --> 01:03:54,265
for... for zombies.
1004
01:03:54,265 --> 01:03:58,660
It'’s ironic, really, considering
that'’s the only thing
1005
01:03:58,660 --> 01:04:02,316
I'’ve ever been any good at
in my whole stupid life.
1006
01:04:02,316 --> 01:04:04,492
I'’m too young to die, Liz.
1007
01:04:04,492 --> 01:04:09,019
Too many all-you-can-eat buffets
yet to conquer.
1008
01:04:09,019 --> 01:04:11,325
Too many sluts to bang,
you know?
1009
01:04:11,325 --> 01:04:13,545
You might actually have a bit
of luck with the women
1010
01:04:13,545 --> 01:04:15,852
if you didn'’t call them sluts
and bitches all the time, James.
1011
01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:18,332
Just a bit of little friendly
advice for you there.
1012
01:04:18,332 --> 01:04:21,248
Nah, it doesn'’t matter
what I call them.
1013
01:04:21,248 --> 01:04:24,512
They'’re not interested in me.
1014
01:04:24,512 --> 01:04:29,082
Destined to die alone a virgin
on this stupid fucking island.
1015
01:04:29,082 --> 01:04:32,390
God,
I can'’t believe I'’m about to...
1016
01:04:32,390 --> 01:04:34,348
if you tell anyone this,
I will kill you.
1017
01:04:34,348 --> 01:04:36,220
I mean that,
I'’ll fucking kill you.
1018
01:04:36,220 --> 01:04:38,265
You saw the zombie in the pool.
You know I'’m capable.
1019
01:04:41,051 --> 01:04:42,574
Tell anyone what?
1020
01:04:42,574 --> 01:04:44,881
And I'’m doing this because
I actually think
1021
01:04:44,881 --> 01:04:47,231
we'’re not gonna live to see
another day on this island.
1022
01:04:47,231 --> 01:04:49,842
Jesus Christ, I can'’t
believe I'’m gonna do this.
1023
01:04:49,842 --> 01:04:51,583
God, I must be fucking ill.
1024
01:04:55,761 --> 01:04:57,458
Do what?
1025
01:04:57,458 --> 01:05:01,245
Look you dickhead, do you wanna
die a virgin or not?
1026
01:05:01,245 --> 01:05:02,768
No.
1027
01:05:26,923 --> 01:05:28,968
Alex, wake up.
1028
01:05:28,968 --> 01:05:30,709
What?
1029
01:05:30,709 --> 01:05:32,580
It'’s Rupert.
1030
01:05:32,580 --> 01:05:33,973
He'’s making noises.
1031
01:05:37,324 --> 01:05:41,894
Did that sound like a...
you know, a human groan
1032
01:05:41,894 --> 01:05:43,548
Or a zombie one?
1033
01:05:43,548 --> 01:05:46,029
I don'’t know,
you'’re the one who knows
1034
01:05:46,029 --> 01:05:47,508
what sound he makes
when he groans.
1035
01:05:47,508 --> 01:05:51,121
Leave it.
I'’m gonna check for a pulse.
1036
01:05:57,127 --> 01:05:58,693
Wait. Wait.
1037
01:05:58,693 --> 01:06:00,434
I'’ll do it.
1038
01:06:00,434 --> 01:06:01,870
Are you sure?
1039
01:06:01,870 --> 01:06:03,524
Well, yeah.
1040
01:06:03,524 --> 01:06:06,875
Well, if he does turn,
it could get quite nasty,
1041
01:06:06,875 --> 01:06:09,791
and I'’ve already killed
two zombies already,
1042
01:06:09,791 --> 01:06:11,880
so, well,
it shouldn'’t be too hard.
1043
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:14,579
This macho stuff
does not suit you, Alex.
1044
01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:29,942
I can'’t... I can'’t
really feel anything.
1045
01:06:32,771 --> 01:06:34,512
Ellie, Ellie!
1046
01:06:34,512 --> 01:06:36,296
-Alex!
-Get the knife!
1047
01:06:36,296 --> 01:06:38,864
Get the knife!
Get the knife!
1048
01:06:40,518 --> 01:06:42,650
Brains!
Get him in the brains!
1049
01:06:42,650 --> 01:06:46,176
Brains! Not in the back of
the head, through the eye!
1050
01:06:46,176 --> 01:06:47,786
-Really?!
-Yes!
1051
01:06:50,310 --> 01:06:52,095
-I can'’t go through the eye!
-Wherever!
1052
01:06:52,095 --> 01:06:55,576
-Through the ear!
-Wherever!
1053
01:06:55,576 --> 01:06:57,796
Fuck off, Rupert,
you prick!
1054
01:07:06,283 --> 01:07:08,850
Ellie...
could you give us a hand?
1055
01:07:22,125 --> 01:07:25,954
Liz, Big Jim number two
has reawoken.
1056
01:07:25,954 --> 01:07:27,434
Ready for deployment.
1057
01:07:27,434 --> 01:07:30,481
We should probably
go again straightaway.
1058
01:07:30,481 --> 01:07:34,398
Liz. Liz, let'’s go.
1059
01:07:34,398 --> 01:07:36,574
Too hung over?
1060
01:07:36,574 --> 01:07:38,445
I think what you need
is probably some breakfast.
1061
01:07:38,445 --> 01:07:42,014
I'’ll just take
this opportunity to just...
1062
01:07:46,584 --> 01:07:48,151
That'’s a video.
1063
01:07:51,893 --> 01:07:54,157
That'’s lovely.
1064
01:07:54,157 --> 01:07:55,723
See that'’s what
I like about you.
1065
01:07:55,723 --> 01:07:57,725
is a normally
the big-titted bitches,
1066
01:07:57,725 --> 01:07:59,771
they don'’t have a good ass
unless they'’ve had implants,
1067
01:07:59,771 --> 01:08:01,338
but you,
you got both areas covered
1068
01:08:01,338 --> 01:08:04,819
which is why
I like you a lot, good stuff.
1069
01:08:06,995 --> 01:08:10,303
So is there anything
that I should get
1070
01:08:10,303 --> 01:08:12,697
while I'’m down at the fridge,
for us to incorporate
1071
01:08:12,697 --> 01:08:15,439
into the next part
of our sexual adventure?
1072
01:08:15,439 --> 01:08:18,659
I'’m talking things like
whipped cream, strawberries?
1073
01:08:18,659 --> 01:08:21,140
I think I saw chocolate mousse
down there, actually.
1074
01:08:21,140 --> 01:08:24,100
I'’ll surprise you.
1075
01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:26,102
Lovely day out there,
isn'’t it?
1076
01:08:26,102 --> 01:08:28,800
Shame we'’re not gonna see any of
it '’cause of all these zombies,
1077
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:31,063
and obviously the fact
that I'’ll be in here
1078
01:08:31,063 --> 01:08:33,021
hanging out the back of you.
1079
01:08:33,021 --> 01:08:36,938
Jesus, all right.
1080
01:08:36,938 --> 01:08:38,549
Fuckin'’ Liz in the bed...
1081
01:08:41,247 --> 01:08:44,424
Liz, yeah,
suckin'’... suckin'’ me off
1082
01:08:44,424 --> 01:08:47,253
all damn night
and all through to the morning!
1083
01:08:47,253 --> 01:08:49,081
Taking it doggy style!
1084
01:08:49,081 --> 01:08:50,517
When I give it to
you doggy style,
1085
01:08:50,517 --> 01:08:52,737
I'’m begging for more,
a dirty bit...
1086
01:08:52,737 --> 01:08:56,567
-the fuck have you been up to?
-He turned.
1087
01:08:56,567 --> 01:08:58,351
I did tell you he would,
didn'’t I, come on.
1088
01:08:58,351 --> 01:09:00,005
Why the fuck
are you so cheerful?
1089
01:09:00,005 --> 01:09:03,704
You know Alex, just a post-sex
with Liz glow.
1090
01:09:03,704 --> 01:09:05,706
You know how it is.
1091
01:09:05,706 --> 01:09:08,622
I'’m just gonna go in there
and rustle up some breakfast,
1092
01:09:08,622 --> 01:09:11,799
-Sex makes you really hungry.
-James, we really haven'’t
got time for this now.
1093
01:09:11,799 --> 01:09:15,194
-We need to make a run for it.
-What about
the rescue I ordered?
1094
01:09:15,194 --> 01:09:17,370
Well, he'’s obviously
not coming, is he?
1095
01:09:17,370 --> 01:09:20,068
Come on, we need to get Liz
and Zara and get out of here.
1096
01:09:20,068 --> 01:09:22,375
Yeah, be my guest, go up
and get Liz, but I warn you,
1097
01:09:22,375 --> 01:09:24,247
she'’s looking pretty
shagged out about right now.
1098
01:09:24,247 --> 01:09:27,119
Can you just shut
the fuck up about my sister?
1099
01:09:27,119 --> 01:09:29,077
Jim, you'’ve had those condoms
in your pocket
1100
01:09:29,077 --> 01:09:31,254
since you were seven,
and I'’m pretty sure
1101
01:09:31,254 --> 01:09:33,691
they'’re gonna stay there
until the day you die.
1102
01:09:33,691 --> 01:09:35,736
Yeah, well,
that would be fine Alex,
1103
01:09:35,736 --> 01:09:37,564
except I didn'’t bother
using the condoms.
1104
01:09:37,564 --> 01:09:40,350
I barebacked her at her request,
and you should have seen me.
1105
01:09:40,350 --> 01:09:42,700
It was like
a prime silverback gorilla
1106
01:09:42,700 --> 01:09:44,441
going at a fucking lioness,
yeah?
1107
01:09:44,441 --> 01:09:46,007
And not just any gorilla.
1108
01:09:46,007 --> 01:09:48,488
It was like King Kong
fucking the sexy lioness
1109
01:09:48,488 --> 01:09:51,709
-out of Lion King.
-Fucking dick.
1110
01:09:51,709 --> 01:09:54,538
Look guys, can you have
this discussion somewhere else?
1111
01:09:54,538 --> 01:09:56,888
I really don'’t wanna stay
here a second longer.
1112
01:09:56,888 --> 01:09:59,543
Yeah, yeah.
Ellie'’s right.
1113
01:09:59,543 --> 01:10:02,198
We need to get out
of here as quick as possible
1114
01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:04,243
and somehow find Az.
1115
01:10:04,243 --> 01:10:06,898
Well, I just wish we had
some weapons, you know?
1116
01:10:06,898 --> 01:10:09,205
Just some real big sort of...
some guns coming out.
1117
01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:11,337
Yeah?
Real big guns?
1118
01:10:11,337 --> 01:10:12,947
- Yeah, just...
- Yeah?
1119
01:10:12,947 --> 01:10:15,689
This ain'’t Playstation, Jim.
1120
01:10:27,484 --> 01:10:28,789
Taxi.
1121
01:10:30,269 --> 01:10:33,359
Taxi for the titties.
1122
01:10:44,936 --> 01:10:47,852
Where are your
other lady friends?
1123
01:10:58,950 --> 01:11:01,953
you must be the taxi guy.
1124
01:11:01,953 --> 01:11:04,085
Guys, why have you
not packed yet?
1125
01:11:04,085 --> 01:11:05,565
We need to get out of here.
1126
01:11:05,565 --> 01:11:10,091
First,
Torval gets his sexy time.
1127
01:11:10,091 --> 01:11:14,182
Then we can all go
for a little ride.
1128
01:11:14,182 --> 01:11:15,401
That'’s the deal.
1129
01:11:15,401 --> 01:11:19,840
And a deal is a deal.
1130
01:11:19,840 --> 01:11:22,974
Excuse me.
1131
01:11:22,974 --> 01:11:25,237
We'’ve all had...
1132
01:11:25,237 --> 01:11:29,110
a very traumatic night, yes?
1133
01:11:29,110 --> 01:11:31,852
Now,
I have a banging headache,
1134
01:11:31,852 --> 01:11:35,421
and all we want
to do is go home.
1135
01:11:35,421 --> 01:11:38,250
Whoa, just don'’t point
that thing at me.
1136
01:11:38,250 --> 01:11:40,948
So where is she?
1137
01:11:40,948 --> 01:11:45,562
The one with the big...
brown...
1138
01:11:45,562 --> 01:11:47,607
boobies.
1139
01:11:51,132 --> 01:11:54,353
I find her myself.
1140
01:11:54,353 --> 01:11:56,921
You lot, don'’t move.
1141
01:11:59,184 --> 01:12:02,492
You can'’t.
1142
01:12:02,492 --> 01:12:05,712
Because I have the keys
to the van.
1143
01:12:10,064 --> 01:12:12,589
I could probably
just hot-wire it anyway,
1144
01:12:12,589 --> 01:12:14,721
- if you want me to.
- Shut up.
1145
01:12:14,721 --> 01:12:18,159
Anyways, I'’m not leaving
my sister with him.
1146
01:12:20,379 --> 01:12:22,033
Liz!
1147
01:12:22,033 --> 01:12:23,948
Liz...
1148
01:12:23,948 --> 01:12:25,645
Liz?
1149
01:12:25,645 --> 01:12:28,953
Alex, no, don'’t go in there.
1150
01:12:28,953 --> 01:12:32,260
Since when was my sister
a zombie?
1151
01:12:32,260 --> 01:12:35,089
Well, that'’s what
we all want to know.
1152
01:12:35,089 --> 01:12:39,006
No James, don'’t, we need
the keys to the van, remember?
1153
01:12:39,006 --> 01:12:41,052
She'’s my friend guys.
I'’ll do it.
1154
01:12:41,052 --> 01:12:44,708
She won'’t hurt me.
1155
01:12:47,363 --> 01:12:48,320
Liz?
1156
01:12:51,018 --> 01:12:54,239
It'’s your friend, Zar.
Remember?
1157
01:12:58,330 --> 01:12:59,592
Fuck.
1158
01:13:04,902 --> 01:13:07,426
Liz...
1159
01:13:07,426 --> 01:13:09,776
we had some good times,
didn'’t we?
1160
01:13:12,431 --> 01:13:14,651
Ayia Napa.
1161
01:13:14,651 --> 01:13:16,043
Magaluf.
1162
01:13:18,437 --> 01:13:21,048
Even that time in Skegness.
1163
01:13:27,054 --> 01:13:30,449
Liz, I need you to move.
1164
01:13:30,449 --> 01:13:32,190
I need to get those keys.
1165
01:13:33,713 --> 01:13:38,588
Liz, I really don'’t want
to do this.
1166
01:13:38,588 --> 01:13:40,024
Liz?
1167
01:14:03,351 --> 01:14:05,397
All right, guys,
we need to get to that van.
1168
01:14:05,397 --> 01:14:08,661
Yeah, sorry, who died
and put you in charge?
1169
01:14:08,661 --> 01:14:12,012
No, yeah, fair enough.
I'’m sorry about that, mate.
1170
01:14:12,012 --> 01:14:14,145
I didn'’t think
that through, that'’s...
1171
01:14:14,145 --> 01:14:17,017
As I was saying, I'’ve got
the keys so I'’m driving.
1172
01:14:17,017 --> 01:14:19,237
- Yeah, shotgun?
- What do you mean?
1173
01:14:19,237 --> 01:14:21,326
It doesn'’t matter
who sits where.
1174
01:14:21,326 --> 01:14:23,197
No, you dumb bitch.
Just give me the shotgun.
1175
01:14:23,197 --> 01:14:24,547
Here take it.
I don'’t want it.
1176
01:14:24,547 --> 01:14:26,940
Jim, the moment
you'’ve been waiting for.
1177
01:14:26,940 --> 01:14:30,640
You'’ve got the gun.
Now fucking shoot '’em!
1178
01:14:30,640 --> 01:14:32,337
All right, now what you
guys wanna think about here
1179
01:14:32,337 --> 01:14:34,731
is it'’s very important to keep
the butt of the gun tight
1180
01:14:34,731 --> 01:14:36,646
to your shoulder, otherwise
you'’ll do yourself an injury.
1181
01:14:36,646 --> 01:14:38,299
-James!
-All right, fucking hell.
1182
01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:42,608
James, I thought you said
you knew what you were doing!
1183
01:14:42,608 --> 01:14:44,741
Fucking Ellie,
for fuck'’s sake!
1184
01:14:44,741 --> 01:14:47,439
- For fuck'’s sake!
- For God'’s sake, just shoot!
1185
01:14:47,439 --> 01:14:48,701
Pull!
1186
01:14:50,790 --> 01:14:53,663
Shit, no, what are
the chances of that?
1187
01:14:53,663 --> 01:14:55,839
There'’s literally
no way that could happen.
1188
01:14:55,839 --> 01:14:57,667
-It just did!
-As if a bullet
1189
01:14:57,667 --> 01:14:59,538
would actually ignite...
1190
01:14:59,538 --> 01:15:03,586
My God!!
My fucking leg!
1191
01:15:03,586 --> 01:15:05,588
Look what you did
to my fucking leg!
1192
01:15:05,588 --> 01:15:08,591
-You motherfucker!
-Should we go back inside?
1193
01:15:08,591 --> 01:15:12,029
So this is it.
Our last stand.
1194
01:15:12,029 --> 01:15:14,727
Except some of us
can'’t actually stand.
1195
01:15:14,727 --> 01:15:17,077
- My fucking leg you...
- Gimme that!
1196
01:15:17,077 --> 01:15:19,079
We'’re gonna go out fighting!
1197
01:15:19,079 --> 01:15:21,647
Be my guest,
I'’ve used that shell anyway.
1198
01:15:35,139 --> 01:15:37,489
Any of you cats
order a rescue?
1199
01:15:49,196 --> 01:15:51,198
What the fuck did
you guys do to that?
1200
01:15:58,771 --> 01:16:00,512
So we going to the airport
then, yeah?
1201
01:16:00,512 --> 01:16:02,383
Airport'’s closed.
1202
01:16:02,383 --> 01:16:04,255
The whole island
is in quarantine.
1203
01:16:04,255 --> 01:16:05,430
So where are we going?
1204
01:16:05,430 --> 01:16:07,127
Chill guys.
1205
01:16:07,127 --> 01:16:09,303
We got the keys to a yacht.
1206
01:16:09,303 --> 01:16:11,784
It'’s anchored
a few miles offshore.
1207
01:16:11,784 --> 01:16:14,700
We get on that, and then we sail
back to the mainland.
1208
01:16:14,700 --> 01:16:16,093
Yeah, that all sounds great,
but if it'’s offshore,
1209
01:16:16,093 --> 01:16:17,747
how are we gonna
get there?
1210
01:16:17,747 --> 01:16:19,531
Some of us haven'’t got
the use of all of our limbs,
1211
01:16:19,531 --> 01:16:21,446
and I'’m pretty sure
I only got my 200-meter
1212
01:16:21,446 --> 01:16:23,361
swimming badge out of pity.
1213
01:16:23,361 --> 01:16:26,886
There'’s loads of speedboats
and jet skis at this beach.
1214
01:16:26,886 --> 01:16:28,540
Sounds like you got
it all figured out.
1215
01:16:28,540 --> 01:16:30,063
Where'’d you get all
this cool shit from, anyway?
1216
01:16:30,063 --> 01:16:33,806
Well, it'’s a pretty
amazing story, actually.
1217
01:16:33,806 --> 01:16:36,417
- My fuck...
- Shh!
1218
01:17:06,099 --> 01:17:09,799
Okay, you distract them.
I run to the car.
1219
01:17:09,799 --> 01:17:12,236
No, no.
You distract them.
1220
01:17:12,236 --> 01:17:17,023
I mean, you are more...
distracting.
1221
01:17:17,023 --> 01:17:19,635
Do you know how to drive
a limo?
1222
01:17:20,984 --> 01:17:23,639
Do you know
how to drive a limo?
1223
01:17:23,639 --> 01:17:24,857
No.
1224
01:17:24,857 --> 01:17:26,729
See?
1225
01:17:26,729 --> 01:17:29,645
If we get on that car,
1226
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:31,472
you see that backseat?
1227
01:17:33,083 --> 01:17:37,087
I gonna ride you
like a mechanical bull.
1228
01:17:39,350 --> 01:17:40,438
Run, then.
1229
01:17:45,835 --> 01:17:48,664
Come on, do something.
1230
01:17:49,882 --> 01:17:51,841
Hi.
1231
01:17:51,841 --> 01:17:53,756
Zombies.
1232
01:17:53,756 --> 01:17:58,108
Um, I'’m Az from London.
1233
01:17:58,108 --> 01:17:59,849
England.
1234
01:17:59,849 --> 01:18:01,807
As you can see,
1235
01:18:01,807 --> 01:18:05,376
there'’s not a lot
of meat on me.
1236
01:18:05,376 --> 01:18:07,117
Some noise?
1237
01:18:07,117 --> 01:18:10,642
It'’s not working!
Nobody ever listens to me!
1238
01:18:13,819 --> 01:18:14,690
Yes!
1239
01:18:19,564 --> 01:18:21,522
No. Maria?!
1240
01:18:23,263 --> 01:18:26,136
Maria!
I ain'’t got a plan B!
1241
01:19:04,565 --> 01:19:07,525
Let'’s go, let'’s go,
let'’s go, let'’s go, let'’s go.
1242
01:19:10,136 --> 01:19:11,964
Yeah, cool story, bro,
but you haven'’t been through
1243
01:19:11,964 --> 01:19:14,184
what we'’ve been through...
I'’ve loved and I'’ve lost.
1244
01:19:14,184 --> 01:19:17,578
-My sister'’s dead.
-Liz is dead?
1245
01:19:17,578 --> 01:19:18,754
How?
1246
01:19:18,754 --> 01:19:20,233
Shotgun to the kisser.
1247
01:19:20,233 --> 01:19:22,932
It might just be me
being stupid,
1248
01:19:22,932 --> 01:19:26,849
but I don'’t get how Liz
turned in the first place.
1249
01:19:26,849 --> 01:19:28,981
Was it the zombie
in the pool?
1250
01:19:28,981 --> 01:19:31,375
No, I checked
her entire body,
1251
01:19:31,375 --> 01:19:33,333
and there was
no sign of scratches.
1252
01:19:33,333 --> 01:19:35,379
She must have swallowed
some blood in the pool.
1253
01:19:35,379 --> 01:19:37,033
She'’s right.
1254
01:19:37,033 --> 01:19:39,296
It doesn'’t
just have to be a bite.
1255
01:19:39,296 --> 01:19:41,864
There'’s loads of ways
you can get infected.
1256
01:19:41,864 --> 01:19:44,997
Transfer of blood,
you know, unprotected sex.
1257
01:19:44,997 --> 01:19:47,957
Should have read
the leaflets, guys.
1258
01:19:47,957 --> 01:19:51,525
So, yeah, Jim,
if you did sleep with my sister,
1259
01:19:51,525 --> 01:19:53,745
you'’re infected, too.
1260
01:19:53,745 --> 01:19:55,921
But you didn'’t.
So you'’re not.
1261
01:19:55,921 --> 01:19:59,011
What?
Jim slept with your sister?
1262
01:20:03,146 --> 01:20:05,888
Watch it!
1263
01:20:05,888 --> 01:20:08,412
Right guys,
let'’s get to the beach.
1264
01:20:19,640 --> 01:20:23,035
So... all we have to do
is get through them.
1265
01:20:27,387 --> 01:20:29,563
Yeah.
1266
01:20:32,697 --> 01:20:35,918
That'’s,
quite a lot of zombies.
1267
01:20:35,918 --> 01:20:37,528
Not too many
we can'’t handle, though.
1268
01:21:09,516 --> 01:21:12,389
For fuck... use the machete,
not my fucking...
1269
01:21:12,389 --> 01:21:13,912
Slice him,
just slice him with the...
1270
01:21:27,491 --> 01:21:29,754
Go have a shower,
bitch!
1271
01:21:32,278 --> 01:21:33,323
Yeah.
1272
01:21:36,021 --> 01:21:39,503
Whoa! Then use them!
1273
01:21:39,503 --> 01:21:43,507
You fucking retard!
I have a machete!
1274
01:22:03,657 --> 01:22:05,877
Ellie, did you see...
1275
01:22:14,059 --> 01:22:16,192
Right now, we need...
1276
01:22:16,192 --> 01:22:18,890
That was my bad leg!
1277
01:22:18,890 --> 01:22:20,761
Another fucking retard!
1278
01:22:30,946 --> 01:22:33,992
Az,
this isn'’t a jet ski.
1279
01:22:33,992 --> 01:22:36,473
Well, it should
still get us there.
1280
01:22:36,473 --> 01:22:38,040
Maybe.
1281
01:22:40,477 --> 01:22:43,393
Hey, less talk,
more pedaling.
1282
01:22:47,310 --> 01:22:50,574
I'’m, this is it,
guys, game over.
1283
01:22:50,574 --> 01:22:52,315
What are you talking about?
We'’re nearly there.
1284
01:22:52,315 --> 01:22:55,448
No, man, it'’s the end for me.
I don'’t feel well.
1285
01:22:55,448 --> 01:22:58,016
I'’m... I'’m infected.
I'’m just gonna stay here.
1286
01:22:58,016 --> 01:23:00,845
It'’s just that crusty kebab
you had, you idiot.
1287
01:23:00,845 --> 01:23:02,499
No mate, I...
I fucked your sister.
1288
01:23:02,499 --> 01:23:04,066
I had sex with her.
I ran through her. I...
1289
01:23:04,066 --> 01:23:07,243
-You didn'’t fuck my sister.
-I did.
1290
01:23:07,243 --> 01:23:08,766
-You didn'’t.
-I did.
1291
01:23:08,766 --> 01:23:10,942
We swapped fluids, Alex.
We swapped fluids.
1292
01:23:10,942 --> 01:23:13,249
Okay, sorted.
You'’re staying here.
1293
01:23:13,249 --> 01:23:15,686
The rest of you,
get the fuck back on this thing.
1294
01:23:15,686 --> 01:23:19,037
Really, Jim.
You'’re not coming with us?
1295
01:23:22,084 --> 01:23:23,259
See you later, Jim.
1296
01:23:26,523 --> 01:23:27,959
Gonna miss you, man.
1297
01:23:31,919 --> 01:23:35,184
-Crazy Spanish lady.
-Brazilian, prick.
1298
01:23:35,184 --> 01:23:38,274
Yeah, I, mean,
it looked like at one stage,
1299
01:23:38,274 --> 01:23:41,842
you and I might have a thing,
but obviously I had Liz,
1300
01:23:41,842 --> 01:23:44,323
and she was always
my number-one priority,
1301
01:23:44,323 --> 01:23:46,108
and normally what I'’d do is,
1302
01:23:46,108 --> 01:23:48,501
I'’d fuck
both of you simultaneously.
1303
01:23:48,501 --> 01:23:50,460
You on a Monday,
her on a Tuesday.
1304
01:23:50,460 --> 01:23:53,985
Hey, bitch, just turn into
a fucking zombie so we can go.
1305
01:23:53,985 --> 01:23:57,032
Ellie.
1306
01:23:57,032 --> 01:24:00,774
Look after Alex for me, will ya?
He'’s probably...
1307
01:24:00,774 --> 01:24:03,690
he loves you, so you should
probably take him back.
1308
01:24:03,690 --> 01:24:08,260
Okay, James.
You... look after yourself.
1309
01:24:16,007 --> 01:24:18,444
And I wanted to let you know,
1310
01:24:18,444 --> 01:24:20,403
I don'’t actually think
you'’re that boring.
1311
01:24:20,403 --> 01:24:23,667
You'’ve actually been mildly
interesting on this holiday,
1312
01:24:23,667 --> 01:24:25,625
and sometimes I'’ve even
been thinking about you.
1313
01:24:25,625 --> 01:24:28,150
Not sexually or anything,
but just how are you?
1314
01:24:28,150 --> 01:24:30,978
-Hope you'’re safe
and stuff like that, so.
-Thanks.
1315
01:24:33,372 --> 01:24:36,462
Alex, man, it'’s been good,
but you know,
1316
01:24:36,462 --> 01:24:38,421
we just ran outta steam
on the home stretch like...
1317
01:24:38,421 --> 01:24:40,423
like the bobsled
in Cool Runnings
1318
01:24:40,423 --> 01:24:42,686
who ended up losing
to the Germans,
1319
01:24:42,686 --> 01:24:44,427
but there'’s no shame
in that cause they'’re
1320
01:24:44,427 --> 01:24:46,646
the best in the world
at the end of the day.
1321
01:24:46,646 --> 01:24:48,083
You'’re serious?
1322
01:24:48,083 --> 01:24:49,954
-Yeah, deadly serious.
-Well...
1323
01:24:51,695 --> 01:24:53,436
Do you want us
to kill you now?
1324
01:24:53,436 --> 01:24:55,177
I'’ll do it.
I'’ll do it.
1325
01:24:55,177 --> 01:24:56,743
Well, before you turn,
you know?
1326
01:24:56,743 --> 01:24:58,658
I think
I'’m just gonna see what
1327
01:24:58,658 --> 01:25:00,747
life'’s like as a zombie,
you know?
1328
01:25:00,747 --> 01:25:03,402
We really
appreciate this, James,
1329
01:25:03,402 --> 01:25:06,144
but if you could hurry up?
1330
01:25:06,144 --> 01:25:07,232
Yeah.
1331
01:25:10,322 --> 01:25:11,976
Thank fuck for that.
1332
01:25:11,976 --> 01:25:14,196
I thought it was gonna
fucking take all day.
1333
01:25:14,196 --> 01:25:15,110
Let'’s go.
1334
01:25:18,504 --> 01:25:22,334
That'’s it guys, you go.
Save yourselves.
1335
01:25:22,334 --> 01:25:24,945
Everyone just hold on!
1336
01:25:24,945 --> 01:25:27,426
Woo-hoo!
1337
01:25:31,256 --> 01:25:33,258
Tell the world
about what you'’ve seen here
1338
01:25:33,258 --> 01:25:35,826
and the atrocities,
and also remember
1339
01:25:35,826 --> 01:25:39,134
the sea has no backdoor.
1340
01:25:39,134 --> 01:25:41,614
Godspeed. Godspeed.
1341
01:26:08,815 --> 01:26:11,296
Hey, big man! Drink?
1342
01:26:11,296 --> 01:26:13,646
Jesus Christ, man,
you scared me.
1343
01:26:13,646 --> 01:26:15,300
You look like
a piña colada man.
1344
01:26:15,300 --> 01:26:18,042
No, no, there'’s a beach
full of zombies back there.
1345
01:26:18,042 --> 01:26:20,479
And I'’m feeling ill myself.
I'’m probably gonna turn, too.
1346
01:26:20,479 --> 01:26:22,438
You should get out of here.
Just head for the hills.
1347
01:26:22,438 --> 01:26:24,440
Chill. Chill.
1348
01:26:24,440 --> 01:26:26,224
Nothing you can do about now,
is there?
1349
01:26:26,224 --> 01:26:28,531
Jesus, I'’m sorry to see that.
That'’s really bad.
1350
01:26:28,531 --> 01:26:32,143
Pull up a stool.
What'’s your story?
1351
01:26:32,143 --> 01:26:35,277
I...
I had sex with a zombie.
1352
01:26:35,277 --> 01:26:37,844
You had sex with a zombie,
1353
01:26:37,844 --> 01:26:39,455
you dirty dog.
1354
01:26:39,455 --> 01:26:41,500
No, she wasn'’t a zombie
when I had sex,
1355
01:26:41,500 --> 01:26:43,502
she was still human,
but obviously,
1356
01:26:43,502 --> 01:26:45,722
-she was infected and stuff.
-Yeah, yeah, of course.
1357
01:26:45,722 --> 01:26:48,028
Well, what,
was she a girlfriend, or?
1358
01:26:48,028 --> 01:26:50,901
No, I wish.
1359
01:26:50,901 --> 01:26:53,208
She was
my best mate'’s sister.
1360
01:26:53,208 --> 01:26:55,122
But I'’d always fancied her,
so.
1361
01:26:55,122 --> 01:26:59,039
I'’ve got a...
actually, I can show you.
1362
01:26:59,039 --> 01:27:01,477
Nice.
1363
01:27:03,174 --> 01:27:06,308
That is one nice bottom,
my friend.
1364
01:27:06,308 --> 01:27:08,266
Yeah, well, I mean,
don'’t kid yourself,
1365
01:27:08,266 --> 01:27:11,400
she wanted it just as much
as I did, so.
1366
01:27:11,400 --> 01:27:14,577
What'’s the...
what'’s the point?
1367
01:27:14,577 --> 01:27:17,101
No point anymore.
I didn'’t even have sex with her.
1368
01:27:17,101 --> 01:27:18,755
But you just said you did
have sex with her.
1369
01:27:18,755 --> 01:27:21,714
Yeah, I know,
but she wanted to, and...
1370
01:27:21,714 --> 01:27:25,327
she took her top off,
put her hand on my leg,
1371
01:27:25,327 --> 01:27:27,851
and that was it,
it was... it was all over, man.
1372
01:27:27,851 --> 01:27:30,245
I didn'’t... I didn'’t even get
the chance to take off my pants.
1373
01:27:30,245 --> 01:27:33,160
Ooh, well,
don'’t worry about it.
1374
01:27:33,160 --> 01:27:35,380
I mean, you know,
it could happen to anyone.
1375
01:27:35,380 --> 01:27:36,860
Really, has it
ever happened to you?
1376
01:27:36,860 --> 01:27:40,167
No. Not me.
1377
01:27:42,561 --> 01:27:45,260
So anyway, if you didn'’t
have sex with her,
1378
01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:47,174
how come you'’re so sure
you'’re gonna be infected?
1379
01:27:47,174 --> 01:27:48,785
Well, I bloody kissed her,
didn'’t I?
1380
01:27:48,785 --> 01:27:51,135
It'’s all bodily fluids
at the end of the day, so.
1381
01:27:51,135 --> 01:27:53,268
You haven'’t been reading
the leaflets, have you, fella?
1382
01:27:53,268 --> 01:27:55,487
Here, look.
1383
01:28:07,673 --> 01:28:10,372
-So I'’m not infected?
-No, of course not.
1384
01:28:10,372 --> 01:28:11,982
Not from a bit
of saliva swapping.
1385
01:28:11,982 --> 01:28:15,159
I thought everybody
knew that.
1386
01:28:15,159 --> 01:28:18,336
I'’m not infected?
1387
01:28:18,336 --> 01:28:20,382
I'’m not infected!
1388
01:28:20,382 --> 01:28:22,688
I'’m not infected!
Yes!
1389
01:28:25,169 --> 01:28:27,389
Fuck, I'’m not infected.
1390
01:28:27,389 --> 01:28:29,086
I'’m not infected, fuck!
1391
01:29:25,403 --> 01:29:27,405
You okay, Alex?
1392
01:29:27,405 --> 01:29:29,538
Yeah. I'’m okay.
1393
01:29:31,757 --> 01:29:34,499
Liz isn'’t.
1394
01:29:34,499 --> 01:29:37,459
Jim isn'’t.
1395
01:29:37,459 --> 01:29:38,895
I'’ve got no one left.
1396
01:29:38,895 --> 01:29:41,201
I'’m here.
1397
01:29:41,201 --> 01:29:44,161
Me and you back together?
1398
01:29:44,161 --> 01:29:47,730
Well it was Big Jim'’s
dying wish, after all.
1399
01:29:47,730 --> 01:29:51,298
Things can'’t just go back
to how they were,
1400
01:29:51,298 --> 01:29:53,039
not after everything
that'’s happened.
1401
01:29:53,039 --> 01:29:55,868
But everything that'’s happened
has made me realize
1402
01:29:55,868 --> 01:29:57,653
how much I care about you.
1403
01:29:57,653 --> 01:30:01,483
I know,
and I care about you, too.
1404
01:30:01,483 --> 01:30:04,007
But things have changed.
1405
01:30:04,007 --> 01:30:06,923
I'’ve changed.
We all have.
1406
01:30:10,317 --> 01:30:14,104
Look, Alex,
what I'’m saying is,
1407
01:30:14,104 --> 01:30:17,063
I'’m glad you came
to save me.
1408
01:30:17,063 --> 01:30:18,891
Even if, you know,
it was actually me
1409
01:30:18,891 --> 01:30:20,676
that saved you in the end.
1410
01:30:20,676 --> 01:30:23,374
Well, it'’s the thought
that counts, right?
1411
01:30:23,374 --> 01:30:26,377
Yeah, I suppose it is.
1412
01:30:26,377 --> 01:30:28,510
So, yeah.
1413
01:30:28,510 --> 01:30:33,776
When we get home,
we can give it another go.
1414
01:30:33,776 --> 01:30:37,257
But if you fuck up again,
I'’ll stab you in the ear, right?
1415
01:30:37,257 --> 01:30:38,781
Right.
1416
01:30:38,781 --> 01:30:40,391
Right.
1417
01:30:40,391 --> 01:30:42,349
How terribly sweet.
1418
01:30:45,483 --> 01:30:48,094
Look,
a steps reunion.
1419
01:30:48,094 --> 01:30:50,619
So...
1420
01:30:50,619 --> 01:30:56,189
which one of you meddlesome kids
has the key to my boat?
1421
01:30:59,018 --> 01:31:00,759
Or is it you?
1422
01:31:00,759 --> 01:31:03,893
You skanky street dog.
1423
01:31:03,893 --> 01:31:07,418
Fuck you
1424
01:31:11,814 --> 01:31:14,773
- Bitch!
Charming.
1425
01:31:14,773 --> 01:31:18,647
How about you?
You little cock tease.
1426
01:31:20,518 --> 01:31:21,954
Have you got my keys?
1427
01:31:21,954 --> 01:31:26,568
If we give you the keys,
will you let us go?
1428
01:31:26,568 --> 01:31:29,527
What'’s say I let you
have my speedboat.
1429
01:31:31,573 --> 01:31:34,053
And you can take your chances
with the sharks.
1430
01:31:34,053 --> 01:31:36,578
-The sharks?
-Yes, you see,
1431
01:31:36,578 --> 01:31:38,405
they don'’t normally come
this close to shore,
1432
01:31:38,405 --> 01:31:41,539
but right now the sea'’s
full of walking corpses.
1433
01:31:41,539 --> 01:31:44,673
Anyway,
enough of this chitchat.
1434
01:31:44,673 --> 01:31:46,892
No, don'’t shoot her, please.
1435
01:31:46,892 --> 01:31:49,286
-No!
-Here, take your keys.
1436
01:31:51,331 --> 01:31:53,203
Thanks, cupcake.
1437
01:31:53,203 --> 01:31:56,467
Now, why don'’t you all form
a queue or something.
1438
01:31:56,467 --> 01:31:59,601
-It'’ll make you easier to shoot.
-You said you'’d let us go.
1439
01:31:59,601 --> 01:32:04,301
Well, I say a lot of things,
sunbeam.
1440
01:32:04,301 --> 01:32:08,087
Did you really think I was gonna
let you have my speedboat?
1441
01:32:08,087 --> 01:32:10,916
Just a second.
Who the fuck are you?
1442
01:32:12,918 --> 01:32:14,790
Some cheap champagne?
1443
01:32:14,790 --> 01:32:17,967
Yeah, talking of cheap.
1444
01:32:17,967 --> 01:32:20,056
Go and join your friends.
1445
01:32:26,062 --> 01:32:27,890
Now, right.
1446
01:32:30,153 --> 01:32:32,721
This...
this is gonna be fun.
1447
01:33:26,992 --> 01:33:30,605
Big shout out
to everyone in Ibiza...
1448
01:33:30,605 --> 01:33:34,565
You, Kenan and Kel
with the three bars, you call.
1449
01:33:34,565 --> 01:33:37,046
Right,
that is both offensive
1450
01:33:37,046 --> 01:33:39,962
and quite possibly racist
and...
1451
01:33:39,962 --> 01:33:42,355
but given the predicament
we find ourselves in,
1452
01:33:42,355 --> 01:33:43,922
I'’m not gonna retaliate
and say that I think
1453
01:33:43,922 --> 01:33:45,184
you look like one
of the Thunderbirds
1454
01:33:45,184 --> 01:33:46,969
with your long head
or anything,
1455
01:33:46,969 --> 01:33:50,015
I'’m just gonna go ahead
and call an ambulance.
1456
01:33:55,238 --> 01:33:57,022
Did me and Alex
not mention
1457
01:33:57,022 --> 01:33:59,459
that we were at a nightclub
that turned into a...
1458
01:34:02,201 --> 01:34:04,377
Rubbish!
Absolutely rubbish.
1459
01:34:06,815 --> 01:34:09,034
You'’ll have
to go through me first.
1460
01:34:09,034 --> 01:34:13,169
Don'’t worry,
I was planning to.
1461
01:34:13,169 --> 01:34:15,693
Do you mean
in a gay way?
1462
01:34:15,693 --> 01:34:17,477
Yes, I do.
1463
01:34:17,477 --> 01:34:19,044
Cut.
1464
01:34:19,044 --> 01:34:21,699
I know what you'’re thinking...
but, Jim,
1465
01:34:21,699 --> 01:34:23,658
I thought you were a player
and I didn'’t know you wanted
1466
01:34:23,658 --> 01:34:25,529
to get tied down
to just one bitch,
1467
01:34:25,529 --> 01:34:27,531
and, yes, ordinarily,
you'’d be right.
1468
01:34:27,531 --> 01:34:29,054
Normally what I'’d do is,
1469
01:34:29,054 --> 01:34:31,578
I'’d fuck both
of you simultaneously.
1470
01:34:31,578 --> 01:34:33,755
You on a Monday,
her on a Tuesday.
1471
01:34:33,755 --> 01:34:35,713
Back to your....
Sorry!
1472
01:34:40,805 --> 01:34:44,635
Alex, mate,
this is it, I mean,
1473
01:34:44,635 --> 01:34:46,724
It'’s been a long
and winding road.
1474
01:34:46,724 --> 01:34:48,378
We'’ve had some good
times, some bad times,
1475
01:34:48,378 --> 01:34:50,032
and just ran out of steam
on the home stretch
1476
01:34:50,032 --> 01:34:52,643
you know, like the bobsled
in Cool Runnings.
1477
01:34:52,643 --> 01:34:54,514
The bolt came loose,
and we lost to the Germans
1478
01:34:54,514 --> 01:34:58,170
just when we thought we'’d win,
but it'’s been good, man.
1479
01:34:58,170 --> 01:35:00,477
- You'’re serious?
- Yeah.
1480
01:35:00,477 --> 01:35:02,522
Well,
don'’t you want us to kill you
1481
01:35:02,522 --> 01:35:04,394
before you turn into
a zombie?
1482
01:35:04,394 --> 01:35:07,266
No, you wouldn'’t be able to.
You wouldn'’t be able to.
1483
01:35:07,266 --> 01:35:09,573
Right.
Okay, mate.
1484
01:35:09,573 --> 01:35:11,314
Cheers.
1485
01:35:11,314 --> 01:35:12,924
Fuck this.
1486
01:35:12,924 --> 01:35:14,447
Right, and we cut.
1487
01:35:15,305 --> 01:36:15,373
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