Original subtitles

(electricity buzzing)

(rhythmic afrobeat instrumentals)

(brooding music)

- Hey!

(brooding music)

- Hi.

- You don't look so good.

(phone ringing)

- I'm good.

- Is it because--

- I said I'm.

I'm fine.

(frustrated exhalation of breath)

- (sighs) Cannot believe this.

Somebody, somebody came to America

for them to come and be arresting me.

Heh-hey.

Hurry up and leave here before they come

and arrest me again, ah.

(rhythmic afrobeat instrumentals)

I cannot come and go and kill myself.

(rhythmic afrobeat music)

Eddie!

- What's wrong with you, Eze?

Eh?

- What are you talking about?

- Do you want to get yourself deported?

- Eddie, at this point, I don't mind.

Let them carry me.

Let them carry me.

It's better than staying a night in jail.

I'm ready to go.

- Oh, you think this is a joke, eh?

Everything's a joke with you.

I leave you for five minutes

and you get yourself thrown in jail.

- Eddie, shut up your bloody, dirty, stinking mouth!

Is it not your fault that they arrested me?

- What are you talking about?

- Is it not because of you?

You left me at the restaurant.

All by myself.

You know I don't have any money to pay the bill.

- Eze, they charged you for assault.

- It's still your fault.

- And offensive language.

- It's still your fault.

What are you talking about? It's still your fault.

- How do they connect?

- How do they connect?

Let me tell you.

So when you left me at the restaurant, by myself,

you went away.

Then me I didn't have any money to pay.

So, what did you think would happen?

Next thing you know, manager came with security.

They say I must pay, I must pay, I must pay.

While they were rough handling me like this.

One beautiful girl, this girl, she's

I swear, it's heaven that sent her.

She's my messiah.

She just came,

she said, "manager don't worry, I will take care of it."

Bam she paid.

Next thing you know, she said I should follow her home.

That she will take care of me and treat me right

from the embarrassment that these people did for me.

I said, "no problem."

Soon as we got home, she said "let's Netflix and chill."

I said "what's Netflix and chill?"

She said, eh, that's when we watch small movie and we chill.

Sharp guy, I started understanding what was going on.

So, I said, "okay, no problem."

So, she entered the bathroom,

she said I should feel comfortable.

I said, "say no more!"

So I started taking off all my clothes.

I did some push-ups, you know, muscle everywhere.

I say, no problem.

I'm getting ready. I'm warming up. I'm warming up.

Warming up!

Warming up!

She's getting ready, you now, changing into her lingerie,

and looking very sexy for me.

Eddie, I was ready for her.

I was ready to kill her.

Or she will kill me.

I was ready for one of us to kill the other person.

(ominous music)

You will not believe what happened.

When this girl, I thought was a girl came out,

she looked like me down there.

I fainted.

(laughs)

Because of you.

- You are mad.

Because of me?

- [Eze] Yes.

- You are the one that entered the car, abi?

(laughs) because of me (sucks air between teeth).

(cell phone vibrates)

- Yo Eddie, what's up?

You realize I have to work, right?

What's happening?

(somber piano music)

(phone ringing)

(somber piano music)

- Tunde, Tunde where are you?

- Tunde.

Tunde where are you?

Princess, come, come, come, our guests are here.

(heels clicking)

(door squeaks)

- Wow, How are you?

- Wow, How are you?

- Wow.

(laughs)

(laughs)

Demola boy

- Tee.

- Demola boy.

- Tee.

It's so good to see you. - Good to see you sweetie.

- Ah, ah!

It's been a long time.

- Yes, yes, yes.

- Come here, you.

- Hello, Titi.

- Hello, Titi.

- Good to see you.

Good to see you. - Demola Owolabi

I'm good. - Yes.

- You have not changed at all.

- Ahh, Lara, you don't look a day older than 18.

- Thank you (laughing)

- Ah, So, Tunde what's the secret?

She looks good.

- You people are deceiving yourself.

- Wait, did you redecorate?

- Oh gracious me, you haven't been here since last year?

- [Titi] No.

- (sighs) It cost a fortune

- It looks good.

- But it's worth it.

Wow. - [Titi] I bet.

- It's that Olu?

- That's him!

- Yes, oh.

- Don't know where he is growing to.

- That's the heir to the throne.

(laughter)

- And that is our new doctor.

- Whoa, Princess!

- Whoa, Princess!

- [Titi] They grow too fast,

don't they? - You look stunning.

Oh my god, what a lovely young lady

you've turned out to be.

- Thank you.

- Amazing!

- C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, come on in.

Lunch is served.

- After you.

- Mr. Tee.

- Eh. (laughs)

- How have you been?

(rhythmic piano music)

- C'mon men, cheer up.

Don't look so down-trodden.

- Guy, I asked Princess to marry me in court,

and she just walked out.

- Are you serious?

♪ Everybody ♪

- I'm damn serious man.

- Yo, why would you even do that?

- Do what?

- I mean. (sighs)

you asked Princess to marry you in the court.

You do know what you are asking her to give up.

Her white wedding.

Her bridal train, her flower girls.

- You told. (sighs)

You were the one who planted this idea in my head

in the first place.

- Dare, if I asked you to jump off a cliff would you do it?

- (laughs) I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking.

- This is not the time to be joking now,

I'm going crazy here.

I've been calling her, she's not picking up my calls,

sending here messages, she's not replying.

- Dare, she'll come around.

It's Princess.

Besides, do you know what day today is?

- I'm not in the mood for any of your stupid games.

- Guy, sit down men.

- I need to get back to the office.

- Okay, just, just sit down for,

just sit down.

C'mon.

Chill.

There you go.

(sniffs)

(taps repeatedly on counter-top)

- Guy, what's going on?

Are you expecting someone?

- No, no.

(upbeat drumming)

♪ To you, aye ♪

♪ Happy Birthday to you, aye aye ♪

♪ Happy Birthday, dear Dare ♪

♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

♪ Oya, oya now ♪

♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪

(fuji-rap fusion music)

(rapping in foreign language)

(cutlery clatter on dishes)

- Ah, Titi.

I must thank you

for taking good care of my friend.

- (laughs) Tunde, there you go again.

By the way Princess, do you know you are looking

more and more like your mom.

(speaks in foreign language)

- (laughing)

- And I am so sorry we missed your graduation.

- That's all right.

- That's true.

We were out of State.

Sorry about that.

- And we really missed you.

- Well, you missed the scandal.

- What scandal?

- Olu, I'm sure you have not met Princess.

- Only in hearing.

- You two should no be far away from each other.

You are of the same class.

- I'm afraid I'll have to disagree with you there, Ma.

She's in a class of her own.

(laughs)

- Olu, by the way, is a practicing Neurosurgeon.

Graduated from Stanford.

And Princess graduated from Harvard Med.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- What's your specialty?

- ENT.

- Ah, I see.

You guys are the new hot cakes.

- I suppose you could say that.

(cutlery scrapes on dish)

(rhythmic piano music)

(rhythmic piano music)

- Birthday, birthday, birthday boy.

(laughs)

Was that good or was that extremely good?

- Yo, that was a great birthday, gift.

- It was okay.

I mean, it would have been perfect

if they had actually sang a Yoruba birthday song.

- So what does that mean now?

- Ah, ah.

They were singing an English birthday song

with Yoruba accent.

- What's the difference?

The dance steps are the same.

(laughs)

- Whatever men.

Guys, I appreciate it.

- You are welcome.

You are very welcome.

- Any day.

Any day.

- Birthday boy.

- Now I really have to rush off to the office.

- Okay. - All right?

- Go, go, go. - See you guys, thanks.

- Where did you find those dance troop?

- Ah, you know me now, you know me.

I just saw them performing on the street

and went there and talked to them.

That's what I do.

- Wow, (laughs) Eze.

- Don't worry, I would teach you how to be like me

when you grow up.

(uptempo Afrobeat music)

(somber piano music)

- Finally, free right?

(somber piano music)

- Yes.

- You know what they are trying to do?

- Who?

- Our parents.

They're trying to match make us.

- And you're doing a great job in that regard.

- (laughs) It's all for the show, right?

- Right.

- Otherwise, they would not allow me to breath.

- I understand that.

- So he must be really important to you.

- Excuse me?

- The person you're thinking about.

- What are you talking about?

- Well, your phone hasn't stopped ringing since

we've been out here.

And you seem afraid to answer it.

Does this have anything to do with

the disaster your mother mentioned earlier?

- Yeah.

- You know, being deeply in love with someone.

They don't want you to marry him?

- Okay, how do you know these things?

- How do I know these things?

Your mother invited us to lunch.

Alright.

While insisting my mother brings me.

And then they play the whole,

"we are in the same class"

you know, drama and I don't know.

You seem to not be able

to take your fingers off the engagement ring.

- (laughs)

I thought you studied medicine at Stanford

and not psychology.

- Does medical psychology count?

- (laughs) Okay.

- [Colleagues] Surprise!

- (laughs) why you dey fear?

(group laughing)

- [Dare] Wow.

- Surprise!

- [Colleagues] Happy Birthday!

[Dare] Thank you.

- Happy Birthday.

[Dare] Thank you.

- Happy Birthday.

(drags feet while walking)

- Eddie, you are back early.

- No, I actually just forgot something.

(bluesy music)

- Wha, I don't understand.

And the thing you are looking for is on my body?

- What?

- The way you are staring at me now.

- Eh, we have a discussion.

Omoh.

- Mummy, I have to go.

- Please excuse me.

- Okay.

- All right dear.

C'mon.

Come and sit.

Come.

- So, do you love him?

- Who?

(laughs) I'm just playing.

- (laughs) Who?

- Of course I love him.

- Ah, do you think he loves you?

- I think so.

- Hmmm, you think so.

There is a little doubt there.

- Shouldn't there be?

- [Olu] Not when you're trying to spend

the rest of your life with somebody.

- Yeah, but I'm only human.

I can only say what I feel for sure.

- You know, many people don't have the luxury

of being pragmatic when they are in love, you know.

- Hence, the reason for so many broken relationships.

- So, what are you gonna do?

About your boyfriend?

- What boyfriend?

(laughs)

- You know it's been a pleasure getting

to know a princess, right.

- You really know how to lay it on thick, don't you?

(rhythmic piano music)

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Thanks for today.

You really made my day.

- I didn't do more than the next person.

We all contributed.

- That's not what Mrs. Lambert said.

- Oh my god.

- She said, you bullied everybody into contributing.

- She's exaggerating.

So, how old are you today?

So, how old are you today?

- I--

- And do not say, you are old enough.

- But I'm old enough.

- Oh, so classic.

- What's wrong with being classic.

- It's cliche.

- No, there is classic.

- Uh-hum.

- and there is cliche.

- Oh.

- Uh-hum

- Oh. (phone ringing)

Oh really? - Very different

- Really?

Get out of here. (laughs)

- As an American child, raised by Nigerian parents,

you better know how to lay it on thick.

- I mean, listen, our parents,

our parents have been here for so long

but they are still Nigerian.

And things are different back there.

Different perspective.

Different way of life, you know.

In Nigeria, they are like mini-gods.

They think for you.

I mean.

- It's crazy.

- Yeah, they tell you to do something, you do it.

If they say sit, you sit.

If they tell you stand up,

you become a freaking statue.

(laughs)

- (sighs) Tell me about it (laughs).

- But at the end of the day,

if you really want to do something

that you know they won't like,

but you really wanna do it, do it.

It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission, right?

- True that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

Yes, - Yes, cheers to that.

- We are not taking shots, but--

- Mummy, really?

Heh, really?

- Don't really mummy me.

This is not a joking matter.

I am not joking.

I'm very serious.

- Mummy, I'm not joking either.

I know it's serious.

Mummy, we've been talking about this issue

back and forth since.

Back and forth, back and forth.

- No, I'm not.

And that's because you keep disobeying me.

- Mummy.

See, I'm not an adu--

I'm not five.

I'm an Adult.

Don't you just,

you don't even understand that one.

This is my life.

I can do what I want now.

- No you can't.

Not in my house.

I paid for this house.

And as far as I can remember, you do not pay any rent.

So as long as you live in this house,

you will abide by rules.

- So what do you now want me to do?

Heh, Mummy, what exactly do you want?

- What I want is for you to do the right thing.

- Right thing.

- This girl has been waiting for you.

And you cannot just discard her like that.

- This girl, this girl, this girl.

What about me?

- I'm your son, but you don't--

- She can be my daughter.

- Mummy, she's not your daughter.

I'm your son, support me.

- I am not going to support you.

I will not.

And by the way, I am going back to Nigeria next week.

- A-aye!

Mummy is going to Nigeria.

- It's not funny.

- Mummy, you are going to Nigeria.

- It's not funny.

- It's not funny.

I'm going back to Nigeria next week.

Okay?

And if by then I do not get any good report,

that's it.

You are going to start paying rent.

And if you cannot pay rent,

you will move out of this house.

And do not ask me for any funds.

All funds stopped.

Do you understand me?

Do you understand me, Eddie?

- Yes.

- Good.

- (laughs)

- What did I tell you.

I don't miss the noise,

the absolute lack of privacy

or the fact that nobody minds their business.

- Imagine, Mama Dare, Mama Dare,

there is no maggi in your soup.

I'm like. - That didn't concern you?

- I'm like what?

- Oh, my god.

First of all, everybody thinks that everybody is their kid.

So like.

Okay, when I was coming here,

if I tell you how many visitors we had.

- Hmmm.

- And then everybody wanted to advise me

on living in America.

- And you want to know the funniest thing?

None of them have ever - None of them have ever

been to America before. - been to America before.

(laughs)

Oh my god.

- Oh lord.

- Nigerians.

When I say they give the best advice.

- The best.

Unwanted but the very best.

(laughs)

(laughs)

(lighthearted pop music)

- You know what em, I should get back to work.

- Yeah.

(sighs)

It was really nice talking to you.

- It was absolutely nice talking to you.

- You know what?

- What?

- We should hang out sometime.

- Yeah.

- I mean, besides I

owe you dinner.

You know, standing you up.

Yeah - Yeah, uh-hum

- Yeah

(laughs)

(phone rings)

- You know, why don't we do it tonight.

Do you have any plans.

- Nothing that I can't change.

- Okay, so--

Tonight, six. I pick you up?

- Are you going to show up this time?

- Oh c'mon now, that's not, oh--

- I'm just pulling your legs.

(laughs)

- Okay--

So--

Yeah.

(phone ringing)

(laughs)

(lighthearted pop music)

(cell phone vibrates)

(somber music)

Oh c'mon--

(somber music)

(rhythmic afrobeat music)

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0