Original subtitles

Previously on The Magicians.

Hey, can you help me find some information?

What are you looking for?

Well, say a--a being with an enormous amount of power.

I'm looking for how someone might, you know, defeat them.

"The art of killing gods."

Any word on the Poison Room?

Believe me, I wanna get in there.

It's--it's above my pay grade.

It's--it's above my pay grade.

- You really don't need my help? - With what?

Trying to break into the Poison Room.

I am telling you the truth because you are the one I trust,

and I really just need your support right now.

I controlled their minds.

Of course, honey.

Just like you have, many, many times.

They said they were just trying to summon

a little help from some kind of god.

They were summoning an evil bitch.

The benevolent Our Lady Underground.

It is all about her.

Grinding men men and gods into the fucking dirt,

and then she leaves!

That's Miss Persephone.

That's Our Lady Underground.

Julia, why do you look like a 12-year-old?

Because I'm her shade.

Shades go to the underworld.

- Alice. - Quentin.

I missed you so much.

Is there any way we can take her with us?

- Jules, what the hell? - I know.

This is my one shot, and this is what

I want to do with it.

No one has ever brought niffin back to life.

Many try, but all...

We have something that no one else has ever had.

We have Alice's shade.

The meta-math has never added up before,

but with this...

Still tremendously bad idea.

Fine, fuck him.

He won't help us. We'll take it to Dean Fogg.

With one morning fart, I release more magic

than Henry Fogg has in his whole life.

But you can't get it up for this?

No, you can't. I won't.

The energy we would need would take a hundred Master Magicians.

That's a battery.

That holds magical current.

That is the biggest one that I've ever seen.

How many of those do you have?

Not enough to spare.

Took years to make, and I need it.

- No. - What's more important

than a life?

You talk like life means something.

If it doesn't, then what's the point?

This is what magic is for.

Boldly spoken for a student who lacked the balls

to control a flea.

Look, I survived your abuse, and I got off my ass,

and I went into the goddamn world.

What have you done? You--

you've sat around and drank.

- Fuck you. - No, fuck you.

Do you know why Alice went to Brakebills?

To find out what happened to her brother.

What happened was his friend Emily had the bad sense

to fall in love with you, and it destroyed her.

And when he tried to help, it turned him into a niffin.

Now tell me that you hold zero responsibility for that.

You can't erase any of that, but you can help Alice.

You can help Alice now.

You look worried.

Just thinking about Alice.

She's gonna be really pissed at me.

Yeah, but when she has her Shade back, she'll get it.

Trust me.

Um...speaking of Shades, since this is probably

the last time I'm going to have one...

Look, you do not have to do this.

Yes, I do.

You're a good friend, better one than I deserve.

Not true.

Blah, blah, feelings bullshit.

Let's begin.

First we separate Shade, which will pull niffin here.

- You memorize? - Yeah.

- You can handle it? - Yes.

I'm going to fix you, but I just have to lock you

in here for a minute, okay?

Thank you.

Julia, lock the cage.

She's coming.

Quentin!

I'll burn you alive for this!

When you're ready, Coldwater.

It's gonna be okay.

Please, please, Quentin, don't.

Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

Hey.

I brought you some clothes if you, um...

Okay.

Why don't I go get you some food?

You haven't eaten in, um...

Mayakovsky said to start with really bland food,

so I thought oatmeal.

Why?

Why bland food? Or why...

Why did I bring you back?

Mm.

I couldn't leave you like that.

Alice.

Fuck you.

So, the Poison Room.

The code to the door changes every couple hours.

The door itself is warded, alarmed.

And don't forget booby-trapped.

So instead of going through the magical dismemberment door,

let's go through the back way.

That door isn't just a door.

It's a portal to another world.

That's where the Poison Room is.

So if we find the right fountain...?

We can walk right in.

I heard a couple librarians whispering about it.

The Poison Room fountain has a stack of books for a statue.

If we split up, we could probably find it

within a matter of weeks.

Weeks? No, no, no, I got this.

Think hours.

What makes you so cocky?

'Cause I'm a traveler.

And, for once, it's not totally fucking me.

It is customary to bow in the presence of your High King.

I--wh-- How are you here?

I think, and by that, I mean I'm absolutely certain,

that I was banished. Had to be.

So in the books, Ember and Umber before Martin offed him,

they did this to the Chatwins all the time, right?

Mm-hmm, um, yeah.

When their adventure was done, or...

Or what, Q?

My pregnant wife is locked up in Fairy Gitmo.

I'm betrothed to a rat.

My Pinot noir grapes are nearly ripe.

My adventure's just begun, so why else would Ember banish me?

Because I'm a fuck up. That's it.

So the button. Gimme.

Uh, about that, um, we kind of bargained it away

to a dragon in exchange for tickets to the Underworld.

You gave our only means of traveling to Fillory

to fucking Trogdor?

Oh.

Both the high king and queen have vanished

leaving you the only Child of Earth in Fillory.

Oh, my God.

They were my ride home.

Um, yes, also it makes you High King.

You can go to the Rainbow Bridge to be crowned.

Meh, let's skip the ceremony.

On to business, then.

Half the court are still rats.

The talking beavers are in revolt.

They're demanding dental coverage.

And the Measly Mountains, they've disappeared.

Completely just-- Stop!

The thrones are cursed.

Okay, is anything not fucked?

Your High Kingliness, perhaps this is all too much for you.

There was a great king on Earth who had a philosophy:

"Hakuna matata."

Roughly translated, it means, "no worries."

That's my philosophy too.

Who gives a shit about a few Measly Mountains?

- But-- - Erase them.

Bring in the talking rats to translate for the rat people,

and we are giving all those beavers braces

because they deserve it.

Say it, Tick.

Hakuna matata.

That's what I'm talking about.

♪ Don't know why ♪

♪ Don't know why I came ♪

♪ Don't know why I came ♪

♪ I don't know why I came ♪

♪ In this club with you, girl ♪

♪ Don't know why I came in with these diamonds on my chain ♪

♪ Surrounded by bad I can't get 'em out my face ♪

♪ Maybe 'cause a handsome and wealthy ♪

♪ Is it 'cause a cook like a professor? ♪

♪ I don't know how you feel ♪

♪ Can you tell me? ♪ ♪ Can you tell me? ♪

♪ I won't know how you feel till you tell me ♪

♪ Can you tell me? ♪

♪ Is it 'cause I'm, 'cause I'm ♪

♪ Handsome and wealthy? Is it 'cause I'm a star? ♪

♪ It maybe could be my star status ♪

♪ I got my chain and ring ♪

♪ My Rolex watch, it got 50 carat ♪

♪ It could be QC or even maybe it's me ♪

♪ It could be that four hour flight ♪

♪ Shopping in Beverly ♪ ♪ Hills! ♪

♪ What's on your mind? ♪

♪ I'm not Ginuwine ain't tryna spend no time ♪

♪ I know my she so fine ♪

♪ But I don't know what's on her mind ♪

♪ Gotta pay that cost to be a boss ♪

♪ I put on my Louboutins playing golf ♪

♪ Young walking with Nina Ross ♪

♪ I'm dropping the bombs like Viet Cong ♪

♪ Don't know why I came ♪

I'm sorry.

I got my Shade back.

And then I lost it again for good,

but I also discovered that I don't have to be

like The Beast.

With the right help, I can do good.

I just have a chip missing.

What do you want from me, Julia?

To be the missing chip.

Tell me when to tap on the brakes.

Tap?

Slam on them.

I trust you.

I need you.

Shit.

Okay, we can try it.

The thing is, I think I kind of need you too right now.

There's something you need to know.

Does Reynard know that you're here?

No.

Okay, that's good.

It's important that we keep up appearances.

I know. I've seen what he can do

when he's angry.

John, tell her what you told me

about Our Lady Underground.

Reynard's obsessed with her.

I think they were lovers, but she left him.

Everything that he's done to her followers, to you--

It's not random.

- It's to get back at her. - Yeah.

Holy shit.

Persephone is Our lady Underground.

I saw her icons when I was down there.

Maybe we can use her to lure Reynard.

Didn't you just say that she disappeared?

Well, we just need to make Reynard believe

that it's her.

If he thinks that she's here, he'll come.

Well, okay, and then?

We still don't have a weapon.

We have him.

- What do you--? - No, no, no,

we are not killing you for your power, John.

- That's insane. - Agreed.

Off the table.

What we are gonna do is teach you magic.

I'm not a Magician.

No, you're more,

which is why it should be easy for you to learn.

I mean, we don't have the juice to take Reynard on, but you do.

Can you tell me again what the dragon said?

You know Mayakovsky banned me from seeing Alice for 48 hours?

He said that I am upsetting her.

Well, he's not exactly wrong.

Trying to help.

You did. Now maybe you can help

- by letting it run its course. - What if she--?

Q, the greatest Magician on Earth is watching her.

I know Mayakovsky can be a massive asshole,

but he's not gonna actually let anything happen to her,

not after what it cost him to bring her back.

All right, let's do that.

I know it's hard right now, but it's gonna be okay.

I think.

Now will you please tell me what Puff the Magic Dragon

said to you?

"The first portal is still open."

I thought that might mean Stonehenge.

The kids go there in Book Three.

How many times was that portal open?

Once.

It's always some new, unexpected...

Except the first one that they used.

They went back and forth through that clock

all summer, right?

- Mm-hmm. - Until their mother died

and their uncle sold all their stuff.

Um, I think I saw it.

At my Yale interview.

It was the same one as the one on the cover.

I mean, the guy died. They--they probably sold it off,

but what if, um, what if the clock I saw

was the clock?

Why the --ck are you taking a nap instead of looking for me?

Margo?

I-I thought you were banished.

No, dumbass, I'm stuck in the Fairy Realm.

How can I see you?

Oh, shit, she must've mixed in the wrong strain.

We wanted "bang like happy pandas,"

not "see other worlds."

Never let an amateur pack your bong, okay?

Listen, dipshit, you have to find Rafe,

the squirrely little prick who works for the sloth.

He got me here. He can get me back.

You could say "please."

No, I literally could not.

I'm gonna go find Fen.

You find a goddamn way to get me back.

Okay.

Pretty sure this is it.

Book statue.

Not the most imaginative, those librarians.

Yeah, but not stupid. Look at this cover.

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