All language subtitles for The Simpsons - 32x08 - The Road To Cincinnati.CAKES.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,675 CHALMERS: Next item on the agenda. 2 00:00:09,826 --> 00:00:10,992 Principal Duggins. 3 00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:14,161 Well, I see that not one of your students 4 00:00:14,173 --> 00:00:17,040 was able to meet the national fitness standards: 5 00:00:17,134 --> 00:00:18,449 a light jog. 6 00:00:18,469 --> 00:00:20,026 - (MOANS SOFTLY) - Come on, Duggins. 7 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,378 You got to be a role model for those lazy kids. 8 00:00:22,531 --> 00:00:25,381 Tell them you put in two hours a day stretching... 9 00:00:25,534 --> 00:00:28,201 your lap band. (LAUGHS) 10 00:00:28,303 --> 00:00:29,703 (MUNCHING) 11 00:00:29,721 --> 00:00:31,204 (IMITATES STOMACH STRETCHING AND POPPING) 12 00:00:31,306 --> 00:00:33,264 (ALL LAUGHING) 13 00:00:34,543 --> 00:00:37,227 Oh, my goodness. Thank you, Principal Finch. 14 00:00:37,321 --> 00:00:41,047 Well, I guess we can cross "hilarious joke" off the agenda. 15 00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:43,066 Oh, I-I've also got a funny thing. 16 00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:46,219 (CHUCKLES) Duggins' wife was unfaithful. 17 00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:47,662 (CHUCKLES) 18 00:00:47,855 --> 00:00:51,315 Skinner, learn how to read a room. 19 00:00:51,376 --> 00:00:53,393 - Sorry, Duggins. - Screw you. 20 00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:57,063 Indeed. Now, as you all know, this weekend in Cincinnati 21 00:00:57,123 --> 00:01:00,233 is the national administrator's convention, 22 00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,676 or EDU-CON. 23 00:01:01,869 --> 00:01:04,571 And, uh, well, I have been invited 24 00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:06,573 to give the keynote address. 25 00:01:06,591 --> 00:01:09,166 - (EXCITED CHATTER) - Oh, well. 26 00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:11,019 Yes. Uh, Sunday. (CHUCKLES) 27 00:01:11,212 --> 00:01:12,595 Main auditorium. 28 00:01:12,689 --> 00:01:16,483 The Proctor & Gamble Room? Crushed it! 29 00:01:17,528 --> 00:01:19,602 (SKINNER INHALES, GRUNTS) 30 00:01:19,696 --> 00:01:22,088 Well, that couldn't have gone worse. 31 00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:23,273 I agree. 32 00:01:23,367 --> 00:01:24,533 Yes, well, as you all know, 33 00:01:24,726 --> 00:01:27,351 the budget allows for a plus-one, 34 00:01:27,371 --> 00:01:29,037 and I was thinking I would bring 35 00:01:29,206 --> 00:01:32,282 the principal with the highest test scores, 36 00:01:32,376 --> 00:01:34,734 - Finch. - Well, that's not fair. 37 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:37,212 Finch runs the magnet school for gifted test takers. 38 00:01:37,405 --> 00:01:40,364 Uh, sorry, Seymour, but I have made my decision. 39 00:01:40,384 --> 00:01:42,776 If it makes you feel any better, you were never in the running. 40 00:01:42,886 --> 00:01:46,537 Hey, we are gonna light Cincinnati up. 41 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,965 I got a buddy who used to be the long snapper for the Bengals. 42 00:01:49,059 --> 00:01:51,301 He co-owns this amazing poké place. 43 00:01:51,453 --> 00:01:53,119 Seaweed, furikake, 44 00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,470 soakin' in ponzu! 45 00:01:54,565 --> 00:01:57,482 My God, you're cool. 46 00:01:58,870 --> 00:01:59,918 _ 47 00:02:00,219 --> 00:02:03,054 Okay, this is for all the marbles. 48 00:02:03,115 --> 00:02:04,981 (GRUNTS) 49 00:02:05,133 --> 00:02:08,468 (LAUGHS) No wonder Chalmers is taking Finch to Cincinnati. 50 00:02:08,570 --> 00:02:09,969 How'd you hear about that? 51 00:02:10,071 --> 00:02:11,805 It's all over the playground. 52 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,306 ♪ Chalmers went to Cincy ♪ 53 00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:14,899 ♪ Didn't take our princy ♪ 54 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,827 ♪ How many tears did Skinner cry? ♪ 55 00:02:17,921 --> 00:02:20,255 ♪ One, two, three, four, five. ♪ 56 00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:21,831 Well, as usual, 57 00:02:21,925 --> 00:02:24,317 the double Dutchers have zeroed in on my pain. 58 00:02:24,336 --> 00:02:25,835 (SIGHS) 59 00:02:25,929 --> 00:02:28,113 Look, Seymour, are you ready for some tough love? 60 00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:29,172 Is there any other kind? 61 00:02:29,308 --> 00:02:30,840 Being around you sucks. 62 00:02:30,934 --> 00:02:33,101 No one's ever gonna invite you to anything. 63 00:02:33,252 --> 00:02:34,752 If there's a party you want to go to, 64 00:02:34,771 --> 00:02:36,012 you got to crash it, 65 00:02:36,106 --> 00:02:37,831 or you'll spend the rest of your life 66 00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:40,942 sitting around with your hand stuck in a pelvis. 67 00:02:42,946 --> 00:02:45,338 It's too late. The plus-one has been invoked. 68 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:47,431 Dude, you're Seymour Skinner. 69 00:02:47,492 --> 00:02:49,784 No matter how badly you're treated, 70 00:02:49,977 --> 00:02:51,010 you keep coming back for more. 71 00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:53,437 That's your superpower. Use it! 72 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:56,082 You're right. I will. 73 00:02:57,702 --> 00:03:00,754 Aw, look at you, grazing the thumb. 74 00:03:03,825 --> 00:03:05,467 Come on. Come on, come on, come on. 75 00:03:05,636 --> 00:03:06,968 (PHONE RINGS) 76 00:03:07,137 --> 00:03:08,544 Finch, where are you? 77 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:10,121 We're going to miss our flight. 78 00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:11,622 Can't make it, Gary. 79 00:03:11,642 --> 00:03:12,957 I ate some pre-trip poké last night, 80 00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,868 and it's blitzkrieging my intestines. 81 00:03:14,969 --> 00:03:17,537 I'm firing salmon eggs from both ends. 82 00:03:17,555 --> 00:03:19,205 But you're my ride to the airport. 83 00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:22,041 My car's in the shop being winterized. 84 00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:24,210 Sorry, dude. Yeah? Cool. 85 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:26,045 (GROANS) 86 00:03:26,064 --> 00:03:28,657 Hop in, sir. We still have time to make our flight. 87 00:03:28,850 --> 00:03:31,660 Skinner? W-What are you doing here? 88 00:03:31,853 --> 00:03:33,978 Well, I saw on Finch's InstaSnap story 89 00:03:33,997 --> 00:03:35,889 that he's firing salmon eggs from both ends. 90 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,074 So I rushed over here at once. 91 00:03:38,226 --> 00:03:40,335 You want to come with me to Cincinnat... No. Thank you. 92 00:03:40,528 --> 00:03:43,079 Very thoughtful, Seymour, but I-I wouldn't want to... 93 00:03:43,173 --> 00:03:45,173 You wouldn't want the school board to find out 94 00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:47,676 you wasted the transferrable but not refundable 95 00:03:47,869 --> 00:03:51,328 $65 plus-one registration fee? 96 00:03:51,390 --> 00:03:54,015 (SIGHS) No, I would not. 97 00:03:54,208 --> 00:03:56,601 Oh, boy. 98 00:03:58,580 --> 00:04:00,596 (GRUNTING) 99 00:04:00,691 --> 00:04:03,583 Ah, Game Night. (CHUCKLES) 100 00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,342 Jason Bateman, your boyish charisma 101 00:04:05,404 --> 00:04:08,087 was made for the low-res seatback screen. 102 00:04:08,148 --> 00:04:09,180 (WHIMPERS) 103 00:04:09,241 --> 00:04:10,606 Sir, are you all right? 104 00:04:10,759 --> 00:04:12,016 Uh, if you must know, 105 00:04:12,035 --> 00:04:14,185 flying makes me just a little bit nervous. 106 00:04:14,246 --> 00:04:15,762 Where'd you put my carry-on? 107 00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:17,947 I'm going to pop an antianxiety pill. 108 00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:20,433 Oh, I gate-checked your bag. It's free, 109 00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,936 and you don't have to fight for precious overhead space. 110 00:04:22,954 --> 00:04:25,121 Another classic Skinner travel hack. 111 00:04:25,215 --> 00:04:27,716 My pills were in that bag, you idiot! 112 00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:30,835 You... Okay. Okay. (CHUCKLES) I can do this. 113 00:04:30,929 --> 00:04:33,613 (EXHALES) It's just a short domestic flight. 114 00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:35,890 I'm completely safe, right? 115 00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,800 Sure. And if you're stressed, you can take comfort 116 00:04:37,894 --> 00:04:40,544 in the passengers' many emotional support animals. 117 00:04:40,605 --> 00:04:43,047 CHALMERS: Ugh. Aah! 118 00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:43,998 - (OINKS) - Pig? 119 00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:45,641 - (GOBBLES) - Aah! 120 00:04:45,736 --> 00:04:47,477 I'm going to die in a flying zoo. 121 00:04:47,629 --> 00:04:49,220 (LAUGHS) 122 00:04:49,281 --> 00:04:52,148 (GROANING NERVOUSLY) 123 00:04:52,242 --> 00:04:54,333 (LAUGHS) 124 00:04:54,402 --> 00:04:58,872 Everyone around you is taking their shoes off. 125 00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:02,825 Okay, no one is safe. No one's sa... 126 00:05:02,919 --> 00:05:05,144 That-that phone is not in airplane mode. 127 00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:07,905 The pilot dresses like an alcoholic! 128 00:05:07,924 --> 00:05:10,149 Somebody's yelling! Who is yelling?! 129 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:13,002 Where in the name of God is the air marshal?! 130 00:05:13,096 --> 00:05:15,096 (MUFFLED SHOUTING) 131 00:05:17,842 --> 00:05:19,250 (GRUNTS) 132 00:05:20,192 --> 00:05:23,179 You're banned from Air Cincinnati forever. 133 00:05:24,131 --> 00:05:26,274 Well, we've got to get another flight. 134 00:05:26,425 --> 00:05:28,167 Uh, we can't, sir. 135 00:05:28,269 --> 00:05:31,187 Uh, Air Cincinnati's the only airline that flies to Cincinnati 136 00:05:31,281 --> 00:05:33,689 since the demise of Cincin-Air-Y. 137 00:05:33,784 --> 00:05:35,266 Well, that's just great. That's great! 138 00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:37,176 In 36 hours, I have to give 139 00:05:37,195 --> 00:05:39,103 the most important speech of my life. 140 00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,605 Now, how in the name of Satan's jockstrap 141 00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,042 am I supposed to get there? 142 00:05:45,462 --> 00:05:47,703 Please, sir. If you give me one last chance, 143 00:05:47,798 --> 00:05:49,464 I will think of nothing else but getting you 144 00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,707 to that keynote speech on time. 145 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,011 Nah, I'll just drive myself. 146 00:05:56,163 --> 00:05:57,713 (SCREECHING) 147 00:05:57,808 --> 00:06:00,199 All right, where is your car? 148 00:06:00,301 --> 00:06:01,868 It, too, is being winterized. 149 00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,870 But I know where to get one. 150 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,463 Oh, no. You're not borrowing my Buick. 151 00:06:06,525 --> 00:06:08,483 I just had it winterized. 152 00:06:08,676 --> 00:06:11,956 But, Mother, this road trip is my last chance 153 00:06:11,991 --> 00:06:14,213 to become friends with the man I admire most in the world. 154 00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:15,306 Please. 155 00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:18,159 Well, you did do such a nice job 156 00:06:18,352 --> 00:06:20,853 re-beading my eyeglass chain. 157 00:06:20,888 --> 00:06:23,957 I guess a boy your age should have friends. 158 00:06:25,451 --> 00:06:27,502 ♪ ♪ 159 00:06:29,914 --> 00:06:33,134 Ah, you, me and the open road, huh? 160 00:06:33,169 --> 00:06:37,737 Yeah. Maybe some music will make the time pass more quickly. 161 00:06:38,382 --> 00:06:41,197 ♪ Timothy, Timothy... ♪ 162 00:06:41,299 --> 00:06:43,576 I hope you like this song, 'cause it's stuck in the player, 163 00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:45,244 and there's no volume knob. 164 00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:48,339 ♪ Timothy, Timothy ♪ 165 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:52,735 - ♪ God, what did we do? ♪ - _ 166 00:06:57,523 --> 00:06:58,817 _ 167 00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:01,202 Oh, did you know that in Cincinnati, they have 168 00:07:01,395 --> 00:07:03,354 four different ways of preparing chili? 169 00:07:03,373 --> 00:07:04,855 You don't say, huh? 170 00:07:04,916 --> 00:07:06,541 - Four different ways. - The two-way, 171 00:07:06,734 --> 00:07:07,767 - chili with spaghetti. - How about that. 172 00:07:07,785 --> 00:07:09,452 - Spaghetti? - The three-way, 173 00:07:09,604 --> 00:07:10,770 - chili with spaghetti and cheese. - Lot of ways. 174 00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,271 - Please shut up. - Oh! (CHUCKLES) 175 00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:13,773 - Oh, he's got more. - And there's two kinds 176 00:07:13,875 --> 00:07:15,216 - of four-ways. - I just... I-I want to die. 177 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,719 Hmm? Mm! 178 00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:18,870 (TIRES SCREECH) 179 00:07:19,263 --> 00:07:21,221 Hitchhikers! Oh, thank the Lord. 180 00:07:21,282 --> 00:07:23,223 Hitchhikers, sir? Is this safe? 181 00:07:23,284 --> 00:07:25,150 They can bury us in a shallow grave 182 00:07:25,286 --> 00:07:27,411 as long as they don't talk about chili. 183 00:07:27,604 --> 00:07:30,656 Thanks for picking us up. We're on our way to a gig. 184 00:07:30,792 --> 00:07:33,417 Oh, a-a gig. Are you, uh, musicians? 185 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,068 Oh, no. We do... 186 00:07:35,129 --> 00:07:36,979 ALL: Improv Shakespeare! 187 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:38,814 Improvisers? 188 00:07:38,874 --> 00:07:41,484 In the style of Shakespeare? That seems impossible. 189 00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:43,910 Methinks this noble lord doth doubt our wit. 190 00:07:44,013 --> 00:07:47,006 We must perform or else be deemed unfit! 191 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:50,768 A word, a word. My kingdom for a word. 192 00:07:50,961 --> 00:07:54,087 - No, no, don't give them a suggestion. - Cupholders. 193 00:07:54,148 --> 00:07:56,181 To grasp a cup would seem a great ordeal. 194 00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:59,685 When one must keep both hands upon the wheel. 195 00:07:59,821 --> 00:08:03,764 The pentameter checks out. Your parents must be so proud. 196 00:08:03,825 --> 00:08:04,931 They're not. 197 00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,117 (GROWLS) 198 00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:10,012 (GREG VOCALIZING MOZART'S "GREENSLEEVES") 199 00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:11,864 Toupee or not toupee, 200 00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,349 that is the question. 201 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,942 You are the only ones having fun! 202 00:08:16,004 --> 00:08:17,202 Just you! 203 00:08:17,355 --> 00:08:18,871 Oh, oh, beware the ides of... 204 00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,781 - Truck! - (ALL SCREAMING) 205 00:08:20,883 --> 00:08:23,217 (HORN BLARING) 206 00:08:23,218 --> 00:08:25,421 _ 207 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:28,973 (GRUNTING) 208 00:08:30,685 --> 00:08:34,036 Well, well, well, what have we got here? 209 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,871 (CHUCKLES) Don't worry, Officer. 210 00:08:35,931 --> 00:08:37,648 It's, uh, minor damage. 211 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,233 Nothing serious. 212 00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,988 Alas, poor Buick. I knew it well. 213 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,365 Oh! (CHOKING) 214 00:08:49,521 --> 00:08:51,154 _ 215 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:54,056 Dear Lord. Our car, our wallets, our luggage, 216 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,225 they're all blown to shreds. 217 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,984 But the keynote. Your speech. 218 00:08:58,004 --> 00:08:59,578 It's all on the cards right here. 219 00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:02,840 But what good will it be when some backwoods judge 220 00:09:02,991 --> 00:09:04,491 throws the book at us, huh? 221 00:09:04,594 --> 00:09:08,804 All rise for the Honorable Judge J.T. Winchester. 222 00:09:10,499 --> 00:09:12,925 Who dragged me in here on a Saturday 223 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,927 in the middle of my Lifetime movies? 224 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:17,246 I'm missing my Lifetimes! 225 00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:20,674 An old woman who's enraged by my very existence. 226 00:09:20,735 --> 00:09:23,510 Don't worry, sir. I got this. 227 00:09:23,571 --> 00:09:25,029 Your Honor, permission to observe 228 00:09:25,222 --> 00:09:28,532 that your poor cuticles are raw and torn. 229 00:09:28,684 --> 00:09:30,092 Thanks to my idiot son. 230 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,928 He made my manicure appointment with Tanya P. 231 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,446 instead of Tanya G. 232 00:09:34,582 --> 00:09:37,616 Oh, well, that boy's as useless as a shaved frog. 233 00:09:37,752 --> 00:09:39,043 Now, Mother... 234 00:09:39,194 --> 00:09:41,379 Hush up and empty the spittoons, Fennimore. 235 00:09:41,572 --> 00:09:43,089 (SIGHS) 236 00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:46,108 You know, I always travel 237 00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:48,293 - with cuticle scissors and jojoba oil. - _ 238 00:09:48,446 --> 00:09:51,097 Let's get these ladies ready for their close-up. 239 00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:55,951 Now, you have fun at the convention, boys. 240 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,878 You just bring it back whenever. 241 00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,288 (TIRES SCREECH) 242 00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:01,899 Mother, you never let me drive the Cutlass. 243 00:10:02,092 --> 00:10:05,218 My car is for good boys! 244 00:10:05,321 --> 00:10:07,488 Hmm. 245 00:10:09,118 --> 00:10:11,118 _ 246 00:10:11,547 --> 00:10:14,653 ♪ Timothy, Timothy ♪ 247 00:10:14,789 --> 00:10:18,082 ♪ God, what did we do? ♪ 248 00:10:19,568 --> 00:10:21,810 Well, we're only a half hour behind schedule. 249 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,495 Should we, uh, brainstorm on a code 250 00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:24,997 for the hotel room safe? 251 00:10:25,149 --> 00:10:27,816 Seymour, you charmed the Depends off that lady. 252 00:10:27,918 --> 00:10:30,094 I believe I owe you a beer. 253 00:10:30,972 --> 00:10:32,655 A biker bar? 254 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,098 Are you sure it's safe? 255 00:10:34,249 --> 00:10:36,434 All right, stop quivering like a quince jelly. 256 00:10:36,585 --> 00:10:38,352 You're with me. 257 00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:42,982 ♪ ♪ 258 00:10:50,825 --> 00:10:53,451 Sir, this isn't a biker bar. 259 00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:55,678 It's a cyclist bar. 260 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:56,862 Don't be a ninny, Seymour. 261 00:10:57,014 --> 00:10:58,197 Uh, barkeep! 262 00:10:58,349 --> 00:11:00,199 A beer for me and my coworker here. 263 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,851 We just serve energy gels and oxygen. 264 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:05,045 You don't like it, get out. 265 00:11:06,007 --> 00:11:07,690 (INHALES DEEPLY) 266 00:11:07,791 --> 00:11:08,966 (GRUNTS) 267 00:11:10,511 --> 00:11:13,119 You two oil burners might want to skedaddle 268 00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:16,307 before my resting heart rate elevates to 60 bpm. 269 00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:18,884 That's "beats per minute," oil burner! 270 00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:21,479 (CACKLING) 271 00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:23,772 (LAUGHTER) 272 00:11:25,818 --> 00:11:27,193 (SLURPING) 273 00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:31,489 Uh, why don't you calm down there, Slim? 274 00:11:31,682 --> 00:11:32,823 (WATCH BEEPING) 275 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:35,451 What did you call me? 276 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:38,887 - (GROWLING) - Uh... 277 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,165 Uh... Oh. 278 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,564 The bike computers! 279 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:50,415 All our stats were on there! 280 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:52,417 They hadn't synced yet! 281 00:11:52,553 --> 00:11:55,738 Yeah, but you-you still got the exercise, right? 282 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,098 (TIRES SCREECH) 283 00:12:01,729 --> 00:12:03,354 (TIRES SCREECH) 284 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,247 (ENGINE REVS) 285 00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:07,507 Whoa. It's as if the rules of the road 286 00:12:07,568 --> 00:12:08,917 don't apply to them. 287 00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:11,603 Are you pedestrians or vehicles?! 288 00:12:11,697 --> 00:12:13,088 Make a choice! 289 00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:14,273 Never! 290 00:12:14,408 --> 00:12:17,785 - (TIRES SCREECHING) - Whoa! Whoa! 291 00:12:19,096 --> 00:12:21,780 (GRUNTS) Skinner, what do we do? 292 00:12:21,874 --> 00:12:24,208 Seymour! Well, don't go! 293 00:12:24,401 --> 00:12:25,709 Skinner? 294 00:12:25,902 --> 00:12:28,754 (BICYCLES CLICKING) 295 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,966 (CYCLISTS PANTING) 296 00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:36,295 Step away from my superintendent. 297 00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,113 (CHUCKLES) What's he gonna do? 298 00:12:38,173 --> 00:12:39,390 He's just one guy. 299 00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:41,950 (CACKLING) 300 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,468 You're never alone 301 00:12:43,621 --> 00:12:46,730 when you're a veteran of the U.S. Armed Forces. 302 00:12:46,923 --> 00:12:48,791 And I do mean armed. 303 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:53,145 Para-athletes like us are the natural enemy of cycling clubs. 304 00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:55,889 Their biceps are bigger than my quads! 305 00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:58,033 To the support van! 306 00:13:00,454 --> 00:13:01,912 (ALL SUCKING) 307 00:13:02,105 --> 00:13:04,564 (TIRES SCREECHING) 308 00:13:05,025 --> 00:13:06,558 Seymour, how did you... 309 00:13:06,694 --> 00:13:08,893 I keep abreast of local veterans' events. 310 00:13:09,046 --> 00:13:11,321 Luckily, the Wheel Team Six para-marathoners 311 00:13:11,514 --> 00:13:12,990 were racing nearby. 312 00:13:13,158 --> 00:13:15,283 Seymour, you have earned this. 313 00:13:16,352 --> 00:13:18,495 (SHUDDERS): Ooh! 314 00:13:20,157 --> 00:13:22,499 You know, there was a time I would have mocked you 315 00:13:22,692 --> 00:13:26,319 for collecting bed-and-breakfast travel points with your mother, 316 00:13:26,422 --> 00:13:28,654 but, I'll tell ya, today those points have paid 317 00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:30,841 for this sweet, thick elderberry wine. 318 00:13:31,034 --> 00:13:34,494 Well, nothing is as sweet as your kind words. 319 00:13:34,555 --> 00:13:35,920 Aw. 320 00:13:36,056 --> 00:13:37,739 (SIPPING) 321 00:13:37,758 --> 00:13:39,349 - (CHUCKLES): Ooh. - Oh, yeah. That's good stuff. 322 00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:43,503 (HUMMING SOFTLY) 323 00:13:43,564 --> 00:13:47,173 Ernest, I've never felt more independent and strong. 324 00:13:47,234 --> 00:13:48,692 Can I use your phone to call Mother? 325 00:13:48,885 --> 00:13:50,360 There she is. 326 00:13:50,512 --> 00:13:53,588 Just make sure no one's using the upstairs extension. 327 00:13:53,607 --> 00:13:55,440 You're back in the office already? 328 00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:59,018 Principal Finch, your gut biome is a wonder. 329 00:13:59,079 --> 00:14:02,188 So, how's Sad Sack Seymour and the Cincinnati Snooze Cruise? 330 00:14:02,207 --> 00:14:04,766 (CHUCKLES RELUCTANTLY) Yeah, vintage Finch. 331 00:14:04,826 --> 00:14:07,193 But, uh, believe it or not, Skinner has shown, 332 00:14:07,254 --> 00:14:09,195 uh, bursts of utility. 333 00:14:09,256 --> 00:14:10,772 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 334 00:14:10,791 --> 00:14:12,883 You better not be getting cold feet, Gary. 335 00:14:13,076 --> 00:14:14,200 We made an agreement. 336 00:14:14,219 --> 00:14:15,944 Skinner gets canned, 337 00:14:15,962 --> 00:14:19,205 and I leave my tiny little magnet school for the big time, 338 00:14:19,266 --> 00:14:22,117 Springfield Elementary. 339 00:14:22,135 --> 00:14:23,234 I'm pumped! 340 00:14:23,287 --> 00:14:24,619 Yes, I know, I know. 341 00:14:24,721 --> 00:14:27,122 The plan was to fire Skinner, and, uh... 342 00:14:27,224 --> 00:14:28,398 (SIGHS HEAVILY) 343 00:14:28,591 --> 00:14:31,126 ...I am a man of my word. 344 00:14:31,186 --> 00:14:33,052 Fire Skinner? 345 00:14:33,113 --> 00:14:34,905 Chalmers! 346 00:14:35,915 --> 00:14:36,939 Oh, dear. 347 00:14:40,436 --> 00:14:44,247 - (SIGHING) - (QUIET CHATTER) 348 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,249 - (GASPING) - Fire me?! 349 00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:48,734 You bald-pated son of a bitch. 350 00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:51,070 Uh, i-if you two gentlemen could please... 351 00:14:51,131 --> 00:14:53,090 Stay out of this, Trudy! 352 00:14:53,258 --> 00:14:56,075 For years, this man belittled me. 353 00:14:56,136 --> 00:14:58,595 Humiliated me. 354 00:14:58,746 --> 00:15:01,005 And in exchange for my unwavering loyalty, 355 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,766 what was my reward? 356 00:15:02,917 --> 00:15:06,085 Whoa, to be pushed out by some scheming magnet school... 357 00:15:06,146 --> 00:15:08,179 keister kisser! 358 00:15:08,273 --> 00:15:09,422 (GRUNTS) 359 00:15:09,525 --> 00:15:11,757 The brochures nobody takes! 360 00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:14,853 I'm the one who deserved this trip to Cincinnati, not Finch. 361 00:15:15,005 --> 00:15:18,006 That's why I put black mold in his poké. 362 00:15:18,066 --> 00:15:19,123 (GRUNTS, SHAKES) 363 00:15:19,159 --> 00:15:21,284 You did what? 364 00:15:21,477 --> 00:15:23,862 Ooh. The Rocking Chair Museum. 365 00:15:23,956 --> 00:15:25,029 I've heard good things. 366 00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:28,016 Skinner...! 367 00:15:28,076 --> 00:15:30,018 You know why I was gonna fire you, Seymour? 368 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,021 Because your neediness, it sucks the life out of me! 369 00:15:33,081 --> 00:15:36,875 After all these years of trying to spare your feelings, 370 00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:38,301 I'm just gonna say it now: 371 00:15:38,494 --> 00:15:41,029 I... don't... like you! 372 00:15:41,089 --> 00:15:43,698 ♪ And the man in the back said, "Everyone attack" ♪ 373 00:15:43,717 --> 00:15:45,791 ♪ And it turned into a ballroom blitz ♪ 374 00:15:45,811 --> 00:15:48,052 ♪ And the girl in the corner said, "Boy, I wanna warn you ♪" 375 00:15:48,205 --> 00:15:49,629 ♪ It'll turn into a ballroom blitz" ♪ 376 00:15:49,690 --> 00:15:51,982 - (GROANS) - ♪ Ballroom blitz ♪ 377 00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:54,467 - (GRUNTS) - ♪ Ballroom blitz ♪ 378 00:15:54,528 --> 00:15:56,987 - ♪ Ballroom blitz ♪ - (GRUNTING) 379 00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:58,213 ♪ Ballroom blitz. ♪ 380 00:15:58,273 --> 00:16:00,157 Ooh, Terry Bradshaw stayed here. 381 00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:02,050 Not the one you're thinking of. 382 00:16:02,152 --> 00:16:03,718 ("BALLROOM BLITZ" CONTINUES) 383 00:16:03,737 --> 00:16:05,787 - (STRAINING) - (GAGGING) 384 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:08,147 (PANTING) 385 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,891 (COUGHS) 386 00:16:09,951 --> 00:16:12,002 You know, I'm not gonna give you the pleasure of firing me, 387 00:16:12,195 --> 00:16:13,753 because I quit! 388 00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:17,323 Good riddance! 389 00:16:17,426 --> 00:16:18,884 (TIRES SCREECHING) 390 00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:24,431 (BRAKES HISS) 391 00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:28,727 ♪ ♪ 392 00:16:37,105 --> 00:16:38,312 _ 393 00:16:38,313 --> 00:16:40,939 (SIREN WAILING) 394 00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,348 (SIREN STOPS) 395 00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:44,459 Well, well, well. 396 00:16:44,486 --> 00:16:46,761 If it isn't the Cuticle Kid. 397 00:16:46,821 --> 00:16:49,431 You racing to give a mani-pedi? 398 00:16:49,449 --> 00:16:51,708 (SIGHS) Just give me the ticket, Fennimore. 399 00:16:51,901 --> 00:16:55,194 License and my mother's registration. 400 00:16:55,255 --> 00:16:56,755 (GASPS) 401 00:16:56,908 --> 00:16:58,758 _ 402 00:16:58,759 --> 00:17:00,592 Superintendent, you're on in five. 403 00:17:00,743 --> 00:17:03,386 Great, great. I'll just ensure my notecards 404 00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:05,037 are in the correct order. 405 00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:06,464 Uh, uh... 406 00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:09,300 "Road trip conversation starters"? 407 00:17:09,394 --> 00:17:12,545 (GROANING) 408 00:17:12,606 --> 00:17:13,772 (SHOUTS) 409 00:17:15,558 --> 00:17:17,049 We switched jackets. 410 00:17:17,110 --> 00:17:18,718 Seymour has my speech! 411 00:17:18,779 --> 00:17:20,403 It's often been said that one speech 412 00:17:20,596 --> 00:17:22,814 can make or break a man's career. 413 00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:26,134 Together, we now face such a moment. 414 00:17:26,194 --> 00:17:27,652 Our keynote speaker, 415 00:17:27,788 --> 00:17:31,748 Superintendent Garibaldi Chalmers. 416 00:17:31,941 --> 00:17:33,250 (GRUMBLES NERVOUSLY) 417 00:17:33,418 --> 00:17:35,168 (MAN COUGHS) 418 00:17:36,204 --> 00:17:37,754 Um... (CLEARS THROAT) 419 00:17:37,905 --> 00:17:39,572 Well, it's an honor, uh, to be here 420 00:17:39,633 --> 00:17:40,924 in, uh, uh, Cleveland. 421 00:17:41,117 --> 00:17:42,575 MAN: It's Cincinnati! 422 00:17:42,636 --> 00:17:44,652 MAN 2: Look at the skyline! 423 00:17:44,713 --> 00:17:47,489 You just... You won't believe what's happened. 424 00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:49,491 I'm... (STAMMERS) Well, maybe you will! 425 00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:51,584 You've all got that one principal, 426 00:17:51,645 --> 00:17:55,346 that one that gets you into such ridiculous situations, 427 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,424 uh, uh, maybe even on the way here. 428 00:17:58,443 --> 00:18:02,170 SUPERINTENDENTS: Mm. Yes. Quite. 429 00:18:02,188 --> 00:18:05,448 (CHUCKLES) This guy, Skinner, h-he screws everything up. 430 00:18:05,641 --> 00:18:08,100 He took my jacket and my speech! 431 00:18:08,161 --> 00:18:11,955 He left me with the useless garbage in his pockets. 432 00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:15,016 A mommy manicure kit. 433 00:18:15,035 --> 00:18:16,851 A-a VFW event calendar. 434 00:18:16,911 --> 00:18:18,686 A, uh, B&B rewards card. 435 00:18:18,705 --> 00:18:20,705 (CHUCKLES) Calico Level. 436 00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:24,283 (MUTTERS) And conversation starters like... 437 00:18:24,386 --> 00:18:27,862 (SIGHS) "How can I make your job easier?" 438 00:18:27,881 --> 00:18:30,140 MAN: He sounds like a good guy, you jackass! 439 00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,883 Well, I... 440 00:18:32,019 --> 00:18:33,310 I suppose he is. 441 00:18:33,503 --> 00:18:36,146 He's loyal and resourceful and... 442 00:18:36,339 --> 00:18:37,889 Oh, God, help me. 443 00:18:38,025 --> 00:18:39,965 I respect Seymour Skinner. 444 00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:41,801 (CHUCKLES): In fact, I like him. 445 00:18:41,862 --> 00:18:43,394 ♪ ♪ 446 00:18:43,547 --> 00:18:45,488 (SNIFFLES) Ditto, Gary. 447 00:18:49,444 --> 00:18:51,870 Aw, Skinner. 448 00:18:54,357 --> 00:18:57,667 I've got something that belongs to you. 449 00:18:57,860 --> 00:19:01,913 Now go give the greatest keynote speech of your life. 450 00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:04,399 Well, maybe I already have, huh? 451 00:19:04,417 --> 00:19:06,918 But if I must. (CLEARS THROAT) 452 00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:09,087 Educational Infrastructure: 453 00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:11,681 Ability Grouping versus Blended Learning. 454 00:19:11,874 --> 00:19:14,834 Now, a survey of public administrators 455 00:19:14,895 --> 00:19:18,429 over a 15-trimester period showed clearly, 456 00:19:18,523 --> 00:19:21,149 within the standard deviation, of course... 457 00:19:22,085 --> 00:19:23,585 Well, you did it, dude. 458 00:19:23,686 --> 00:19:25,528 How does it feel to get what you've always wanted? 459 00:19:25,721 --> 00:19:27,530 ♪ Chalmers loves Skinner ♪ 460 00:19:27,723 --> 00:19:29,366 ♪ Bought him chili dinner ♪ 461 00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:32,518 ♪ How many ways did Skinner try? ♪ 462 00:19:32,537 --> 00:19:35,187 ♪ One, two, three, four, five. ♪ 463 00:19:35,290 --> 00:19:37,874 It feels just like this. 464 00:19:39,735 --> 00:19:41,786 ("WKRP IN CINCINNATI MAIN THEME" PLAYING) 465 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,922 ♪ ♪ 466 00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:50,870 ♪ Maybe you and me were never meant to be ♪ 467 00:19:50,931 --> 00:19:55,216 ♪ Just maybe think of me once in a while. ♪ 468 00:20:03,852 --> 00:20:05,977 So, guys, what have you been up to? 469 00:20:06,129 --> 00:20:08,405 Oh, went on a field trip to the fire station, 470 00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,573 but nobody told the firemen we were coming. 471 00:20:10,766 --> 00:20:13,317 Practiced my sax, went to school. 472 00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,820 Oh, we learned about Peru. 473 00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:16,971 Oh. 474 00:20:17,031 --> 00:20:18,415 I went to work. 475 00:20:18,566 --> 00:20:20,308 Lenny had a cold, so he wasn't there. 476 00:20:20,326 --> 00:20:21,659 Carl was there though. 477 00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:24,587 Well, have I got a treat for you all. 478 00:20:24,780 --> 00:20:28,508 Tonight, we're going to see Improv Shakespeare! 479 00:20:29,836 --> 00:20:31,076 Washing machine! 480 00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,654 Out, damned stain! 481 00:20:32,755 --> 00:20:36,324 For there is a Tide Pod in the affairs of laundry. 482 00:20:36,384 --> 00:20:41,086 (CHUCKLES) Can you imagine Shakespeare using a Tide Pod? 483 00:20:41,148 --> 00:20:43,440 - No. - (BART GROANS) - Oy. 484 00:20:43,591 --> 00:20:46,684 ("WKRP IN CINCINNATI END CREDITS" PLAYING) 485 00:20:46,836 --> 00:20:49,279 ♪ ♪ 486 00:20:49,472 --> 00:20:50,613 ♪ Mad tooth bar chin-up ♪ 487 00:20:50,765 --> 00:20:53,616 ♪ Boxing out of her hair now ♪ 488 00:20:54,936 --> 00:20:59,205 ♪ Still do the modern-day whack-a-mole ditto-o-o ♪ 489 00:21:00,742 --> 00:21:03,126 ♪ What's that? Good bartender ♪ 490 00:21:03,277 --> 00:21:05,536 ♪ I had better head out ♪ 491 00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:11,217 ♪ I said I wouldn't do it if a poodle had a lid on ♪ 492 00:21:16,032 --> 00:21:17,548 ♪ Mad tooth bar chin-up ♪ 493 00:21:17,642 --> 00:21:19,851 ♪ Boxing out of her hair now ♪ 494 00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:26,232 ♪ Still do the modern-day whack-a-mole ditto-o-o ♪ 495 00:21:27,652 --> 00:21:28,776 ♪ What's that? ♪ 496 00:21:34,365 --> 00:21:36,945 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 35349

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