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1
00:00:02,739 --> 00:00:03,740
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:58,311 --> 00:01:09,186
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
3
00:01:29,242 --> 00:01:30,701
Don't fucking touch it.
4
00:01:39,461 --> 00:01:41,963
We'll take care
of it from here.
5
00:01:50,347 --> 00:01:51,640
(GUARD ANNOUNCING OVER PA)
6
00:01:52,349 --> 00:01:55,352
This shit better be
spotless when I get back.
7
00:02:06,070 --> 00:02:08,698
Here you go. It's okay.
8
00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:12,076
Wow. It's tight in here
with three people, huh?
9
00:02:12,202 --> 00:02:14,538
Tell me how it's also dark at
night and cold in the snow.
10
00:02:14,787 --> 00:02:15,788
(DAYANARA COUGHING)
11
00:02:15,872 --> 00:02:17,999
Hey, hey, you're gonna need
to clean that up.
12
00:02:18,082 --> 00:02:20,122
That's all you gotta say to
the mother of your child?
13
00:02:20,168 --> 00:02:21,289
You have to be quiet, please.
14
00:02:21,336 --> 00:02:23,880
I'm sorry. Are you okay?
Can I do anything or...
15
00:02:24,047 --> 00:02:27,091
So what do you want? Hurry it up.
It fucking stinks in here.
16
00:02:27,217 --> 00:02:29,058
I have a plan. It's
a pretty good one, I think.
17
00:02:29,135 --> 00:02:30,387
You see, I told you.
18
00:02:30,554 --> 00:02:31,638
So there's this
thing called furlough,
19
00:02:31,721 --> 00:02:33,056
where they grant an inmate
temporary leave...
20
00:02:33,139 --> 00:02:34,391
I know what furlough is.
21
00:02:34,516 --> 00:02:36,601
They don't actually give
that shit to anyone. Ever.
22
00:02:36,726 --> 00:02:38,395
It's rare, yes.
But my uncle knows the warden.
23
00:02:38,478 --> 00:02:39,688
I think we can make an appeal.
24
00:02:39,770 --> 00:02:41,981
For the love of your poor,
long-suffering grandma.
25
00:02:42,065 --> 00:02:43,066
Mama Lourdes?
26
00:02:43,191 --> 00:02:46,570
Ay, Mama Lourdes is so mean,
she's gonna outlive all of us.
27
00:02:46,695 --> 00:02:50,532
He's talking about a fake
abuela, who's really sick.
28
00:02:50,615 --> 00:02:52,659
Then fake abuela fake dies.
29
00:02:52,741 --> 00:02:55,181
And you get to leave for the
weekend to go to her fake funeral.
30
00:02:55,744 --> 00:02:57,330
What's that have to
do with the baby?
31
00:02:57,414 --> 00:02:59,999
Ay, Dios mio, between
the two of yous,
32
00:03:00,083 --> 00:03:01,763
this child's gonna be
100% retard. I swear.
33
00:03:02,711 --> 00:03:05,213
When you start to show
and we can't hide it anymore,
34
00:03:05,296 --> 00:03:07,507
we tell everyone
that you got your pussy
35
00:03:07,632 --> 00:03:09,884
fucked while you
were on furlough.
36
00:03:10,009 --> 00:03:13,762
Peg-leg Pete here gets to keep his
job and no one knows shit. Get it?
37
00:03:13,930 --> 00:03:15,432
Yo, that shit is smart.
38
00:03:15,557 --> 00:03:16,558
Thanks.
39
00:03:17,601 --> 00:03:18,976
But it ain't never gonna work.
40
00:03:19,102 --> 00:03:21,104
Like you're the first person
who ever tried this game.
41
00:03:21,187 --> 00:03:24,441
Well, it's all we have, right?
So, I'll submit it today.
42
00:03:24,608 --> 00:03:27,193
Just do your best
to hide the puking.
43
00:03:27,860 --> 00:03:28,945
(VOMITING)
44
00:03:37,995 --> 00:03:39,205
Hi.
45
00:03:39,664 --> 00:03:42,584
Larry Bloom. I'm here
for Urban Tales.
46
00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:43,668
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
47
00:03:43,793 --> 00:03:46,212
Great. You can have a seat.
Maury's not quite ready for you.
48
00:03:46,296 --> 00:03:48,336
Can I get you anything while you wait?
Water? Coffee?
49
00:03:54,011 --> 00:03:55,138
Sir?
50
00:03:55,930 --> 00:03:58,808
Sorry... Yes. Water,
please. Would be great.
51
00:03:58,891 --> 00:04:01,645
Got to keep the vocal
chords hydrated, you know?
52
00:04:02,771 --> 00:04:03,854
Too eager?
53
00:04:03,980 --> 00:04:05,231
Just a little.
Okay. Thank you.
54
00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:26,002
You here for Urban Tales?
55
00:04:26,085 --> 00:04:27,671
I am, yeah. Ben Palmer.
56
00:04:27,837 --> 00:04:29,464
Larry Bloom.
57
00:04:30,214 --> 00:04:32,008
Does your boyfriend
live far away?
58
00:04:34,844 --> 00:04:39,890
My fiancee is in prison.
She's a she. She's a girl.
59
00:04:40,016 --> 00:04:42,185
The cardigan threw me.
60
00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:45,855
So, prison? That's gotta be
some rough stuff, huh?
61
00:04:46,690 --> 00:04:50,735
Yeah.
It's very difficult.
62
00:04:50,985 --> 00:04:52,529
How about you?
63
00:04:52,612 --> 00:04:55,948
My husband's a scientist down
at McMurdo in Antarctica.
64
00:04:56,032 --> 00:04:58,368
So, it's a different
kind of prison.
65
00:04:58,493 --> 00:05:02,872
Jeez. Yeah, that's like, as
long distance as you can get.
66
00:05:03,039 --> 00:05:05,834
Haven't seen him
in almost two years.
67
00:05:07,335 --> 00:05:08,961
Where's your fiancee locked up?
68
00:05:09,086 --> 00:05:10,714
She's upstate.
69
00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:15,009
I get to see her,
you know, pretty often.
70
00:05:16,594 --> 00:05:17,679
Ready, guys?
71
00:05:19,764 --> 00:05:21,725
It's gonna be a great show.
72
00:05:23,017 --> 00:05:25,812
I'm sorry...
Okay. Thanks.
73
00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:28,398
NICKY: Hey, heard your dude's
gonna be on the radio tomorrow.
74
00:05:28,857 --> 00:05:30,567
What? Where did
you hear that?
75
00:05:32,527 --> 00:05:37,407
Well, a little birdie who listens to
NPR in her transport van told me.
76
00:05:37,532 --> 00:05:38,616
You didn't know?
77
00:05:38,742 --> 00:05:39,826
No, I had no idea.
78
00:05:39,908 --> 00:05:42,161
I have not been able to get
in touch with him for a week.
79
00:05:42,245 --> 00:05:44,581
Maybe he's cheating
on me with Maury Kind.
80
00:05:44,913 --> 00:05:48,585
Oh. Then you'd both be gay.
So post-modern.
81
00:05:48,877 --> 00:05:50,628
You know, it's like
the sole purpose
82
00:05:50,754 --> 00:05:52,547
of these things is
to end up tangled.
83
00:05:52,672 --> 00:05:55,132
Why has no one
figured out a solution yet?
84
00:05:55,299 --> 00:05:56,634
All right, Seinfeld.
Calm down.
85
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,321
You in a hurry to
hang yourself with it?
86
00:06:01,305 --> 00:06:04,851
Less than 24 hours
and you're making a joke?
87
00:06:04,933 --> 00:06:06,310
Someone is dead.
88
00:06:06,561 --> 00:06:09,522
Jesus Christ. You having
your red dot special?
89
00:06:09,606 --> 00:06:12,609
Communists in your
funhouse? Crimson tide?
90
00:06:13,610 --> 00:06:14,943
Okay, perfect.
91
00:06:15,027 --> 00:06:18,531
By all means, attribute my legitimate
feelings of sadness to menses.
92
00:06:18,907 --> 00:06:20,491
You really just say menses?
93
00:06:20,617 --> 00:06:21,618
That's gross.
94
00:06:21,743 --> 00:06:22,744
You're gross.
95
00:06:22,869 --> 00:06:23,912
Great comeback.
96
00:06:23,994 --> 00:06:27,164
Excuse me, inmate?
What did you say to me?
97
00:06:28,625 --> 00:06:31,461
Hey, Chapman. Oh!
Pick your battles.
98
00:06:32,629 --> 00:06:35,381
Didn't your vacation on the sunny
island of SHU teach you anything?
99
00:06:35,548 --> 00:06:37,926
Are they really not gonna
have a memorial for her?
100
00:06:38,050 --> 00:06:39,469
Are you kidding?
101
00:06:39,636 --> 00:06:42,764
The administration cares about
burying the story, not her.
102
00:06:43,013 --> 00:06:44,432
Well, fuck that.
103
00:06:45,099 --> 00:06:50,396
Everybody deserves a funeral. I'm
gonna organize something for her.
104
00:06:50,563 --> 00:06:52,816
You barely knew her.
What are you doing?
105
00:06:54,066 --> 00:06:55,610
I'm untangling.
106
00:06:56,152 --> 00:06:59,113
Have you ever seriously
considered suicide?
107
00:07:01,658 --> 00:07:04,160
What are you?
One of those hippy-dippy docs?
108
00:07:04,285 --> 00:07:06,704
Like, if I told you I was
dreaming about a pineapple
109
00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:09,916
you would ask me if I wanna
have sex with my mama? Hmm?
110
00:07:10,166 --> 00:07:11,542
Have you experienced
any of the following
111
00:07:11,668 --> 00:07:13,127
during the last two weeks?
Anxiety?
112
00:07:13,252 --> 00:07:15,755
Of course I've
experienced anxiety.
113
00:07:15,922 --> 00:07:17,924
You think this is an easy job?
114
00:07:18,007 --> 00:07:21,511
Having to heal the whole world
with just these 10 fingers.
115
00:07:21,636 --> 00:07:22,679
It's a lot of pressure.
116
00:07:22,846 --> 00:07:23,847
Loss of appetite?
117
00:07:23,972 --> 00:07:26,683
What does that have to do with anything?
Hmm? Doc?
118
00:07:27,517 --> 00:07:31,228
You know, it's people like you
that give America a bad name.
119
00:07:31,354 --> 00:07:34,691
You all go squawking around talking
about guns being dangerous,
120
00:07:34,774 --> 00:07:38,361
when all you want to do is shove
pills down people's throats.
121
00:07:38,444 --> 00:07:41,823
When all they need is
just a little bit of faith.
122
00:07:42,490 --> 00:07:46,911
Ask me about my appetite. Why? Because
I'm just naturally kind of skinny?
123
00:07:47,036 --> 00:07:49,038
Miss Doggett, if you could
please just answer the question.
124
00:07:49,163 --> 00:07:51,081
I have answered the question.
125
00:07:51,207 --> 00:07:54,377
I'm not crazy. I'm chosen.
There's a difference.
126
00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:56,921
Now, if you just let
me out of this cage,
127
00:07:57,046 --> 00:07:59,549
we can both get
back to our jobs.
128
00:08:01,425 --> 00:08:02,802
Please?
129
00:08:02,886 --> 00:08:05,304
You've stated that you believe God is
speaking to you and allowing you...
130
00:08:05,388 --> 00:08:10,393
(GROANS) I don't have
to believe, Doc. I know.
131
00:08:10,476 --> 00:08:12,228
Why don't you just go ask
some of the other girls?
132
00:08:12,353 --> 00:08:13,938
They're all gonna tell you.
133
00:08:14,063 --> 00:08:19,986
I've been healing ailments left and right.
Miracle. There's proof.
134
00:08:20,236 --> 00:08:21,571
These hallucinations
you've been having...
135
00:08:21,738 --> 00:08:24,198
I'm not having
fucking hallucinations!
136
00:08:24,323 --> 00:08:26,784
I don't belong in here!
Come on!
137
00:08:26,951 --> 00:08:28,077
Miss Doggett...
138
00:08:28,202 --> 00:08:29,286
I'm not a freaking animal,
get me out!
139
00:08:29,453 --> 00:08:30,747
Miss Doggett,
when you calm down
140
00:08:30,872 --> 00:08:32,916
I will get you on a sedative,
take you to a nice room...
141
00:08:33,041 --> 00:08:37,503
I don't need any sedatives!
Jesus has my back!
142
00:08:37,587 --> 00:08:40,048
Please! Doc!
143
00:08:41,591 --> 00:08:44,134
Doc, come back!
144
00:08:47,096 --> 00:08:50,850
An inmate is dead and a crippled
delinquent was attacked.
145
00:08:50,934 --> 00:08:54,270
What happened yesterday
was an epic fuckup, people.
146
00:08:54,395 --> 00:08:56,105
All of you better get
on your knees tonight
147
00:08:56,188 --> 00:08:59,358
and pray that none of those kids'
families sue the shit out of the DOC,
148
00:08:59,442 --> 00:09:01,778
because we're all out
of a job if they do.
149
00:09:01,861 --> 00:09:04,447
You think she's gonna get
on her knees tonight?
150
00:09:04,572 --> 00:09:06,824
Something funny, gentlemen?
151
00:09:06,950 --> 00:09:07,950
Hi. I was just wondering,
152
00:09:07,992 --> 00:09:09,577
is there gonna be an investigation
into Miller's death?
153
00:09:09,660 --> 00:09:10,954
Our manual says that
the FBI is supposed
154
00:09:11,079 --> 00:09:12,359
to be informed
anytime there's...
155
00:09:12,455 --> 00:09:13,831
This was
a clear-cut suicide case.
156
00:09:13,957 --> 00:09:15,332
There's nothing to investigate.
157
00:09:15,458 --> 00:09:18,795
The body was cremated.
May she rest in peace.
158
00:09:20,964 --> 00:09:25,468
So, the warden has asked us to draft
a memo to distribute to the inmates,
159
00:09:26,677 --> 00:09:30,640
telling them that we care, the
services that are available, etc.
160
00:09:30,723 --> 00:09:32,016
You've got to be kidding me.
161
00:09:32,475 --> 00:09:35,478
I'm sorry, but how is this a
good use of our time, exactly?
162
00:09:35,561 --> 00:09:36,562
Excuse me?
163
00:09:36,938 --> 00:09:39,607
I don't know about the rest of
you, but I've got real work to do.
164
00:09:39,690 --> 00:09:41,358
Sit down.
165
00:09:42,151 --> 00:09:43,653
Unless you want me
to tell the warden
166
00:09:43,778 --> 00:09:45,279
that you refused
to participate.
167
00:09:49,158 --> 00:09:50,534
So, who wants to begin?
168
00:09:51,327 --> 00:09:53,370
We should offer our
condolences, right?
169
00:09:53,496 --> 00:09:55,247
Insurance companies
always tell you not
170
00:09:55,372 --> 00:09:57,166
to apologize when
you're in an accident.
171
00:09:57,249 --> 00:09:58,751
Admits fault.
172
00:09:59,085 --> 00:10:02,505
Just say,
"Being locked up sucks.
173
00:10:02,630 --> 00:10:04,924
"But that's no
reason to hang yourself,
174
00:10:05,008 --> 00:10:07,677
"slit your wrists or chug
10 bottles of NyQuil."
175
00:10:08,469 --> 00:10:10,220
Mendez out.
176
00:10:10,596 --> 00:10:12,849
You think a dead prisoner
is a joke, Mendez?
177
00:10:12,932 --> 00:10:14,308
Something to make light of?
178
00:10:15,101 --> 00:10:16,185
Let me be clear.
179
00:10:16,268 --> 00:10:19,022
When these women are at
Litchfield, they're in our care.
180
00:10:19,147 --> 00:10:21,816
And yesterday, we failed.
181
00:10:21,941 --> 00:10:26,737
A girl died because of us.
All of us.
182
00:10:28,531 --> 00:10:31,993
So quit fucking around and
show some goddamn humanity.
183
00:10:32,201 --> 00:10:34,120
(EXHALES)
Heavy stuff, huh?
184
00:10:34,203 --> 00:10:35,913
Yeah. It's so hard
to believe.
185
00:10:36,706 --> 00:10:38,582
What are you doing tonight?
186
00:10:38,708 --> 00:10:41,068
Nothing. Probably gonna watch
some SportsCenter, hit the hay.
187
00:10:41,127 --> 00:10:43,963
You want to...
Want to get a drink?
188
00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:45,548
You know I would,
I have a thing...
189
00:10:45,673 --> 00:10:46,841
Come on.
190
00:10:46,924 --> 00:10:48,551
Don't be a pussy. One drink.
191
00:10:48,634 --> 00:10:50,887
You can watch your gay
sports show tomorrow.
192
00:10:51,595 --> 00:10:53,681
Yeah. All right. Cool.
193
00:10:54,557 --> 00:10:55,597
See you in the parking lot.
194
00:11:00,563 --> 00:11:04,192
Hey. I wanna order some of that ginger gum.
I got some commissary credit.
195
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,069
There's ginger
ale at commissary.
196
00:11:06,234 --> 00:11:08,905
No, I tried that shit. I got
a really bad stomach thing.
197
00:11:10,238 --> 00:11:11,281
What's my name?
198
00:11:11,407 --> 00:11:13,241
What?
I said, what's my name?
199
00:11:14,535 --> 00:11:15,661
I don't know.
200
00:11:15,786 --> 00:11:18,664
Exactly. All day long it's,
"Get me this, get me that."
201
00:11:18,748 --> 00:11:20,750
There are,
what, 250 women in here?
202
00:11:20,875 --> 00:11:23,836
Is it that hard to know my name?
I bet you know Red's name.
203
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,253
We can't help you.
204
00:11:25,421 --> 00:11:26,589
What?
205
00:11:33,137 --> 00:11:34,555
Look, I don't mean no problems.
206
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:36,099
Gloria said I
should ask in here.
207
00:11:36,224 --> 00:11:40,477
No problem. Gina's a sensitive little
squirrel when she's on the rag.
208
00:11:41,020 --> 00:11:42,772
Your daughter's pregnant, yes?
209
00:11:42,939 --> 00:11:44,899
What? No.
210
00:11:45,608 --> 00:11:47,235
There's this stomach
thing going around.
211
00:11:47,359 --> 00:11:48,945
She hasn't eaten in weeks.
212
00:11:49,028 --> 00:11:52,823
She's nauseous all the time but
still has a glow on her skin.
213
00:11:53,323 --> 00:11:54,784
It's none of your business.
214
00:11:54,909 --> 00:11:57,954
You bring it into my kitchen,
you make it my business.
215
00:12:01,457 --> 00:12:05,128
Okay, Sherlock.
Yes. You got it.
216
00:12:05,628 --> 00:12:07,295
PORNSTACHE: You're out
of bounds, inmate!
217
00:12:07,379 --> 00:12:09,423
Get the fuck out of here.
218
00:12:41,914 --> 00:12:43,249
Hey, what's your sign?
219
00:12:43,331 --> 00:12:46,794
Yo! My sign is get your ass up
and help me with this shit.
220
00:12:47,503 --> 00:12:50,173
You don't wanna know what the
planets have in store for you,
221
00:12:50,298 --> 00:12:52,091
that's your business.
222
00:12:52,216 --> 00:12:54,384
Man, the planets have
jail in store for me.
223
00:12:54,510 --> 00:12:55,469
(CHUCKLING)
224
00:12:55,552 --> 00:12:57,833
And some more of the same
tomorrow, and the day after that.
225
00:12:57,847 --> 00:12:59,515
Yeah.
Aries.
226
00:12:59,682 --> 00:13:01,017
All right.
227
00:13:01,142 --> 00:13:04,061
"It might be an excellent
time to take a trip
228
00:13:04,187 --> 00:13:07,106
"or see a new
part of the world.
229
00:13:07,190 --> 00:13:09,650
"Expand your horizons,
dear Aries."
230
00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:15,281
Yo! (CHUCKLES)
Expand your horizons, boo.
231
00:13:15,363 --> 00:13:16,364
Stupid.
232
00:13:17,074 --> 00:13:18,408
This is for the birds.
233
00:13:18,575 --> 00:13:21,578
Hate to break it to you, son,
but we the birds.
234
00:13:21,745 --> 00:13:24,456
If you want me to read yours,
all you had to do was ask.
235
00:13:24,540 --> 00:13:25,749
What's your sign?
236
00:13:25,875 --> 00:13:27,084
Taurus.
237
00:13:27,210 --> 00:13:31,672
Oh, yeah, you a stubborn bull,
all right. Okay.
238
00:13:33,090 --> 00:13:35,051
"The news that
you've been waiting for
239
00:13:35,176 --> 00:13:37,053
"might be
delivered in a few days,
240
00:13:37,178 --> 00:13:39,429
"and will likely be positive.
241
00:13:39,555 --> 00:13:41,265
"Gather your loved ones around,
242
00:13:41,389 --> 00:13:44,977
"in case you need extra support
for the changes to come."
243
00:13:45,102 --> 00:13:46,354
Yo, your appeal.
244
00:13:46,478 --> 00:13:48,147
I don't think that's
any of your business.
245
00:13:49,773 --> 00:13:50,858
Excuse me.
246
00:13:50,983 --> 00:13:53,736
So, what's up? You really
believe in all that stuff?
247
00:13:53,861 --> 00:13:57,031
Sure do. But this
paper's eight months old.
248
00:13:57,365 --> 00:13:59,533
What?
Mmm-hmm.
249
00:13:59,950 --> 00:14:01,869
(LAUGHING)
250
00:14:05,039 --> 00:14:06,082
(DOOR OPENING)
251
00:14:10,294 --> 00:14:11,295
Oh.
252
00:14:12,338 --> 00:14:13,923
Okay. Here's some advice,
253
00:14:14,048 --> 00:14:16,759
when a girl makes you cum
the way that I do,
254
00:14:16,884 --> 00:14:19,262
you should always act
thrilled to see her.
255
00:14:19,345 --> 00:14:20,429
Stop it.
256
00:14:20,554 --> 00:14:24,100
Okay. You're not in the mood
to banter, I withdraw my bant.
257
00:14:26,518 --> 00:14:27,519
Mmm.
258
00:14:27,603 --> 00:14:30,856
I asked some of the girls to come
help me plan a memorial for Tricia,
259
00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:33,276
nobody showed up.
I don't get it.
260
00:14:33,401 --> 00:14:36,279
I guess I'm the only one who
cares if there is a funeral.
261
00:14:36,362 --> 00:14:39,323
Okay. That's not the most self-involved
thing I've heard you say,
262
00:14:39,448 --> 00:14:41,325
but it's definitely up there.
263
00:14:41,450 --> 00:14:45,037
Please. Alex, will you stop
pretending like nothing happened?
264
00:14:45,246 --> 00:14:48,124
Pipes, you can't force people to
mourn the way you want them to
265
00:14:48,207 --> 00:14:49,292
just because it'll
make you feel better.
266
00:14:49,417 --> 00:14:50,500
That's not what I'm doing.
267
00:14:50,626 --> 00:14:51,961
Really?
No!
268
00:14:52,586 --> 00:14:55,005
'Cause I think we both know that
dealing with emotional chaos
269
00:14:55,131 --> 00:14:57,466
is not one of
your strong suits.
270
00:14:57,967 --> 00:15:01,887
Which is why we're not having an
affair, we're just being human.
271
00:15:01,971 --> 00:15:03,806
And why you are
planning a memorial
272
00:15:03,973 --> 00:15:05,808
for a girl that
you barely knew.
273
00:15:05,891 --> 00:15:07,393
We talked. I did know her.
274
00:15:07,601 --> 00:15:09,979
Did you know her better
than you knew my mom?
275
00:15:14,984 --> 00:15:16,026
That's not fair.
276
00:15:19,905 --> 00:15:21,157
None of it was fair.
277
00:15:24,534 --> 00:15:28,580
Look, life gets
messy sometimes.
278
00:15:30,207 --> 00:15:32,376
You know, you gotta learn
you can't always fix it.
279
00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:37,881
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho.
It's off to work I go. Oh!
280
00:15:38,174 --> 00:15:41,635
Don't mind me, ladies. Just
gonna do a little buffering.
281
00:15:42,428 --> 00:15:44,138
All in a day's work.
282
00:15:48,392 --> 00:15:53,189
♪ Vanilla and vanilla
283
00:15:53,272 --> 00:15:56,442
♪ Swirl, swirl
284
00:15:56,525 --> 00:15:59,111
♪ Swirl, swirl ♪
285
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,198
You know, I don't actually think it's
a swirl if it's the same flavor.
286
00:16:02,281 --> 00:16:03,949
You know, if you
were still my wife,
287
00:16:04,033 --> 00:16:07,953
I would tell you all the time
how much I like your titties.
288
00:16:08,954 --> 00:16:11,374
'Cause girls like that.
289
00:16:12,375 --> 00:16:16,586
And that is
a tip from me to you.
290
00:16:17,963 --> 00:16:19,589
Alex, I miss you.
291
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,342
I don't have time
to wander around
292
00:16:21,467 --> 00:16:22,968
flea markets and drink
cafe au lait with you.
293
00:16:23,135 --> 00:16:25,721
But I'm so cute.
Look how cute I am.
294
00:16:26,305 --> 00:16:28,891
Babe, I'm sorry.
I'm so fucking stressed.
295
00:16:28,974 --> 00:16:31,727
But you're always
so fucking stressed.
296
00:16:32,686 --> 00:16:34,897
I feel like
a pathetic housewife.
297
00:16:38,275 --> 00:16:40,403
Is this our life now?
298
00:16:42,571 --> 00:16:44,365
Hey. Hey.
299
00:16:48,618 --> 00:16:53,332
Let me take you out tonight, okay?
Anywhere you want to go.
300
00:16:55,792 --> 00:16:56,835
Okay?
301
00:16:59,171 --> 00:17:00,256
Okay.
302
00:17:03,217 --> 00:17:04,260
Hey,
303
00:17:06,178 --> 00:17:08,764
would you be up for a trip
to Istanbul this weekend?
304
00:17:08,889 --> 00:17:10,474
Yes! Of course!
305
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,394
Oh, babe, that's great.
Thank you.
306
00:17:13,477 --> 00:17:15,563
I think you should be able to
get there and back in a day,
307
00:17:15,645 --> 00:17:17,898
so you won't even
have to stay overnight.
308
00:17:18,023 --> 00:17:20,276
I'm gonna call and set
up your ticket for you.
309
00:17:20,443 --> 00:17:21,818
Oh, my God.
310
00:17:21,944 --> 00:17:24,071
I thought for a second you
meant we would go together.
311
00:17:24,154 --> 00:17:27,157
Like a vacation.
Like normal people.
312
00:17:27,783 --> 00:17:29,452
I need you to do this.
313
00:17:29,535 --> 00:17:31,412
I wouldn't ask if I
had any another option.
314
00:17:31,495 --> 00:17:35,665
I specifically told you that
I would never do that again.
315
00:17:36,041 --> 00:17:39,169
Jesus, I am so stupid.
316
00:17:39,462 --> 00:17:41,964
I really am. I'm just
another drug mule to you.
317
00:17:42,131 --> 00:17:44,300
You are such
a naive asshole sometimes.
318
00:17:44,383 --> 00:17:45,426
I'm an asshole?
319
00:17:45,509 --> 00:17:48,304
I'm drowning right now and you
won't even consider helping me.
320
00:17:48,471 --> 00:17:51,474
I am done. I can't do this anymore.
I can't be with you.
321
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,309
Are you serious?
Where are you gonna go?
322
00:17:53,434 --> 00:17:55,018
I don't know
where I'm gonna go.
323
00:17:55,144 --> 00:17:56,103
I'm gonna go
back to the States,
324
00:17:56,186 --> 00:17:57,146
where I'm not your errand girl.
325
00:17:57,271 --> 00:17:59,482
I can't believe I didn't see this coming.
How did I not see this...
326
00:17:59,607 --> 00:18:01,448
You know what, I did see this coming.
Years ago.
327
00:18:01,484 --> 00:18:04,236
Rule number one. Don't ever fall
in love with a straight girl.
328
00:18:04,361 --> 00:18:07,739
Is that what you think this is about?
That I like dick?
329
00:18:07,823 --> 00:18:09,543
You know, I guess that
is easier than facing
330
00:18:09,617 --> 00:18:11,285
the fact that you
are a drug dealer.
331
00:18:11,743 --> 00:18:14,997
And it is ruining
everything good in your life.
332
00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:18,375
Don't you dare push this on me.
333
00:18:20,169 --> 00:18:22,379
You knew exactly
what you were getting into.
334
00:18:24,673 --> 00:18:26,675
I thought we were a team.
335
00:18:37,060 --> 00:18:40,439
This shit is weird. Why
aren't we playing dominoes?
336
00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:44,026
And what's she doing here?
337
00:18:47,321 --> 00:18:48,864
You gotta fuck Pornstache.
338
00:18:48,989 --> 00:18:52,701
What the fuck? What are
you even talking about?
339
00:18:55,371 --> 00:18:59,875
If you want to keep your baby and
Bennett, this is the only way.
340
00:18:59,958 --> 00:19:02,378
Otherwise, you don't get both.
341
00:19:03,253 --> 00:19:04,713
You just gotta
get him to fuck you.
342
00:19:04,796 --> 00:19:08,133
Then you go to Caputo, and tell
him that Pornstache raped you,
343
00:19:08,217 --> 00:19:09,926
you got the proof.
344
00:19:10,052 --> 00:19:11,720
The proof is in the pudding,
as they say.
345
00:19:12,179 --> 00:19:14,473
You let soldier boy
dream about his furlough.
346
00:19:14,557 --> 00:19:16,559
It ain't gonna happen.
347
00:19:16,642 --> 00:19:18,852
Girls in here miss
their own mother's funeral.
348
00:19:18,935 --> 00:19:21,055
And I think we all know
your mother's doing just fine.
349
00:19:21,104 --> 00:19:23,148
I don't care.
350
00:19:23,232 --> 00:19:26,443
I won't cheat on John.
I love him.
351
00:19:26,652 --> 00:19:27,861
Of course,
352
00:19:27,944 --> 00:19:30,406
which is exactly why
this is your only option.
353
00:19:31,490 --> 00:19:33,659
We've all known
girls in your situation,
354
00:19:33,783 --> 00:19:35,911
and do you know
what happens to them?
355
00:19:36,036 --> 00:19:39,748
They get punished.
Sent out to the SHU.
356
00:19:39,831 --> 00:19:42,459
Transferred to
maximum security.
357
00:19:42,585 --> 00:19:44,836
And when it comes out that
Bennett is the father,
358
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,047
he'll be arrested
and convicted as
359
00:19:47,172 --> 00:19:49,299
a sex offender and
he'll go to prison, too.
360
00:19:50,426 --> 00:19:52,428
This is bigger than you.
361
00:19:53,011 --> 00:19:56,139
Every decision you make now
affects your family.
362
00:19:56,848 --> 00:19:58,559
Welcome to motherhood.
363
00:20:02,605 --> 00:20:07,568
Even if I say yes, and I'm not,
how would I get him to do it?
364
00:20:08,652 --> 00:20:11,697
You're good at getting guys
to sleep with you, no?
365
00:20:16,159 --> 00:20:18,870
No. Toss those.
366
00:20:19,037 --> 00:20:22,999
Here, I'll take that.
Used it on her corn rows.
367
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:26,795
(CHUCKLES) You called her "corn hoes"
when she and Mercy started dating.
368
00:20:26,962 --> 00:20:29,757
Yes, well,
that was before she was dead.
369
00:20:29,839 --> 00:20:31,879
Besides, I told Mercy
I'd keep a few things for her.
370
00:20:31,925 --> 00:20:33,176
You talked to Mercy?
371
00:20:33,385 --> 00:20:35,638
Yeah. I mean,
somebody had to talk to her.
372
00:20:35,721 --> 00:20:37,013
That was good of you, Boo.
373
00:20:37,139 --> 00:20:38,140
Yeah.
374
00:20:38,265 --> 00:20:41,101
Remember when Danita tried
to do Trish's corn rows?
375
00:20:41,184 --> 00:20:42,478
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
376
00:20:42,603 --> 00:20:44,480
Even Black Cindy couldn't
fix that shit. Yeah.
377
00:20:44,647 --> 00:20:47,023
Poor kid. She walked
around looking like
378
00:20:47,149 --> 00:20:49,568
Ursula from
The Little Mermaid for weeks.
379
00:20:55,741 --> 00:20:56,992
You eat.
380
00:20:57,701 --> 00:20:58,868
Thank you.
381
00:20:59,578 --> 00:21:00,663
BIG BOO: Fucking Chang.
382
00:21:00,829 --> 00:21:01,950
Who would've thought it, huh?
383
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,332
Yeah.
384
00:21:03,915 --> 00:21:08,253
Hey!
Fresh out of the microwave.
385
00:21:09,630 --> 00:21:10,714
Gracias.
386
00:21:10,839 --> 00:21:11,923
Always thought
Tricia seemed nice.
387
00:21:12,007 --> 00:21:14,092
I mean,
I never talked to her much
388
00:21:14,217 --> 00:21:16,345
or nothing,
but she had a good vibe.
389
00:21:16,553 --> 00:21:17,554
MARITZA: Yeah.
390
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,682
Sucks she hung herself.
391
00:21:21,141 --> 00:21:22,643
I'm really sorry for your loss.
392
00:21:22,726 --> 00:21:24,603
Yeah. Gracias.
393
00:21:25,854 --> 00:21:26,896
Let me smell.
394
00:21:27,022 --> 00:21:28,148
What do you think?
395
00:21:28,357 --> 00:21:29,858
What's up?
396
00:21:29,941 --> 00:21:32,528
Thought y'all could use some
comfort food. (CHUCKLES)
397
00:21:33,821 --> 00:21:35,113
Oh, shit!
398
00:21:37,366 --> 00:21:39,368
You know, I talked to her once
in the food line.
399
00:21:40,577 --> 00:21:41,870
Man, we both hated goulash day.
400
00:21:42,912 --> 00:21:45,415
She pulled off them
rows really nice, too.
401
00:21:45,582 --> 00:21:47,543
Yeah. Well, for a white girl.
402
00:21:47,626 --> 00:21:48,836
Thanks for all of this.
403
00:21:49,044 --> 00:21:50,379
Oh, also...
404
00:21:54,132 --> 00:21:55,133
This.
405
00:21:56,343 --> 00:21:57,803
(CHUCKLES) Holy shit.
406
00:21:57,886 --> 00:21:59,722
Looks like they forgot to turn
these potatoes into chips.
407
00:21:59,847 --> 00:22:01,557
Open that up, shawty.
408
00:22:01,724 --> 00:22:03,475
BLACK CINDY: Shit!
You gotta check this out.
409
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,144
What? Let me see.
What? No fucking way.
410
00:22:07,354 --> 00:22:09,147
Fucking check it out!
411
00:22:09,981 --> 00:22:12,651
You gotta pour one
out for her, right?
412
00:22:15,445 --> 00:22:16,530
Thanks, son.
413
00:22:16,655 --> 00:22:17,740
Yeah.
414
00:22:20,242 --> 00:22:21,660
Looks like we throwing a party.
415
00:22:21,744 --> 00:22:22,994
Fucking-A.
416
00:22:23,495 --> 00:22:26,749
We were having our coffee,
reading the paper.
417
00:22:26,914 --> 00:22:33,255
And all of a sudden there are two huge
guys with badges at our front door.
418
00:22:33,589 --> 00:22:35,090
Piper wasn't even dressed.
419
00:22:35,173 --> 00:22:36,966
You never expect to
be in your pajamas
420
00:22:37,092 --> 00:22:38,926
the moment your
life changes forever.
421
00:22:39,052 --> 00:22:40,470
That's true, isn't it?
422
00:22:40,596 --> 00:22:43,181
At the very least you'd have
underwear on, hopefully.
423
00:22:43,265 --> 00:22:47,102
(CHUCKLES) And how did you feel
once you started to understand
424
00:22:47,185 --> 00:22:49,438
that she'd actually
committed the crime?
425
00:22:49,563 --> 00:22:51,815
That your fiancee was
an indicted criminal?
426
00:22:51,939 --> 00:22:55,110
I was blindsided,
that's for sure.
427
00:22:55,444 --> 00:23:00,198
But it's like anything, eventually
it starts to feel normal.
428
00:23:01,867 --> 00:23:06,455
You figure out the right words to
say to other people. You adjust.
429
00:23:07,955 --> 00:23:11,167
I have to assume that
Piper is much more fortunate
430
00:23:11,293 --> 00:23:13,044
than a lot of
the women in there with her.
431
00:23:13,169 --> 00:23:17,633
You're able to drive up to see
her, you have resources, family.
432
00:23:17,841 --> 00:23:22,471
Yeah. Yeah. We're very lucky.
I see her a lot.
433
00:23:22,638 --> 00:23:23,806
What are your visits like?
434
00:23:23,931 --> 00:23:28,976
Oh, you know. She catches me up
on all the latest prison gossip.
435
00:23:29,102 --> 00:23:30,854
Which is actually
highly entertaining.
436
00:23:30,978 --> 00:23:32,021
Really?
Yeah.
437
00:23:32,147 --> 00:23:35,191
Can you tell us some
of your favorite stories?
438
00:23:35,983 --> 00:23:39,446
Oh, man. Well, I think my
favorite is one of the first.
439
00:23:49,331 --> 00:23:50,332
Ow!
440
00:23:50,540 --> 00:23:52,334
Dandelion! You okay?
441
00:23:52,835 --> 00:23:56,003
No touching.
No touching, okay? I'm fine.
442
00:23:56,505 --> 00:23:58,340
I'm real sorry about that.
443
00:23:58,465 --> 00:24:02,803
There used to be a sign that
said, "Caution. Wet floor."
444
00:24:02,886 --> 00:24:04,805
Really told people
what was going on.
445
00:24:04,888 --> 00:24:05,889
(GROANING)
446
00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:11,561
Suzanne, do you think
you could help me up?
447
00:24:12,187 --> 00:24:13,480
It's okay.
448
00:24:13,563 --> 00:24:15,524
Okay. Man. Okay.
449
00:24:16,817 --> 00:24:18,902
Here we go. Okay.
(EXCLAIMS IN ALARM)
450
00:24:19,026 --> 00:24:20,737
Okay. Okay.
451
00:24:20,863 --> 00:24:23,907
This is my fault.
This is my fault.
452
00:24:24,449 --> 00:24:26,535
My fault. My fault.
453
00:24:26,660 --> 00:24:27,981
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Please, don't,
454
00:24:28,035 --> 00:24:29,329
please, please,
please, don't do that.
455
00:24:29,412 --> 00:24:31,456
Please... It's okay.
456
00:24:32,749 --> 00:24:33,792
Thanks.
457
00:24:33,917 --> 00:24:36,545
I'm gonna make sure
you get home okay.
458
00:24:37,546 --> 00:24:39,046
No weird stuff.
459
00:24:39,882 --> 00:24:41,216
Thanks.
460
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,348
You know this doesn't mean
I'm your wife, right?
461
00:24:48,431 --> 00:24:49,432
(CHUCKLES)
462
00:24:50,225 --> 00:24:54,396
I'm in much more of a
loving-being-single phase, anyway.
463
00:24:54,479 --> 00:24:57,858
I don't wanna be tied down.
You feel me?
464
00:24:58,775 --> 00:25:00,109
Oh, I feel you.
465
00:25:07,367 --> 00:25:10,954
Thank you, Suzanne.
Thank you very much.
466
00:25:15,291 --> 00:25:16,292
Ah!
467
00:25:17,293 --> 00:25:19,337
Suzanne, would you
mind taking this pillow
468
00:25:19,462 --> 00:25:21,506
and putting it
underneath my knee?
469
00:25:23,759 --> 00:25:25,427
You're not gonna pee, are you?
470
00:25:25,594 --> 00:25:30,265
No. When I get angry sometimes
I can't control myself.
471
00:25:30,348 --> 00:25:35,311
That's why I go to Looney Jail sometimes.
Psych. But not like "psych!"
472
00:25:36,312 --> 00:25:38,440
I gotta work on self-control.
473
00:25:38,565 --> 00:25:40,400
I can come back up
here when I'm in control
474
00:25:40,483 --> 00:25:42,444
'cause Mommy and
Daddy and the lawyer
475
00:25:42,611 --> 00:25:44,571
have an agreement
with the warden.
476
00:25:44,696 --> 00:25:48,408
Yeah. I like it up here.
I just gotta use the signal.
477
00:25:48,784 --> 00:25:50,077
What's the signal?
478
00:25:52,495 --> 00:25:56,499
Yeah. Helps the guards
know it's cool.
479
00:25:56,625 --> 00:25:58,919
Otherwise, back down.
480
00:25:59,044 --> 00:26:00,754
Is Psych worse than the SHU?
481
00:26:01,128 --> 00:26:02,464
Way worse.
482
00:26:02,631 --> 00:26:03,715
Scary.
483
00:26:04,674 --> 00:26:07,719
It's bold. Cold. Old.
484
00:26:08,428 --> 00:26:12,599
It's real bad. I wouldn't
wish it on the worst gremlin.
485
00:26:13,391 --> 00:26:14,631
But they give
you a therapist...
486
00:26:14,684 --> 00:26:15,852
No.
487
00:26:15,978 --> 00:26:20,816
Nope. I mean, they give me
medication and make me calm.
488
00:26:20,899 --> 00:26:23,192
But that just makes me sleepy.
489
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,279
Sometimes when I'm real upset,
they tie me down.
490
00:26:26,446 --> 00:26:28,824
Like a balloon.
So I don't fly away.
491
00:26:29,156 --> 00:26:30,617
That sounds horrible.
492
00:26:30,826 --> 00:26:33,286
Yeah. Nobody comes
back from Psych.
493
00:26:34,245 --> 00:26:35,580
Except me.
494
00:26:36,539 --> 00:26:41,003
Once you go to Psych,
you get lost in Psych.
495
00:26:41,461 --> 00:26:45,507
It's like that place with the three corners?
In the ocean?
496
00:26:45,674 --> 00:26:47,092
The Bermuda Triangle.
497
00:26:47,216 --> 00:26:50,095
We should play charades
sometime, Dandelion.
498
00:26:50,177 --> 00:26:55,308
We'd make great partners.
Not wives. Just partners.
499
00:26:58,478 --> 00:27:01,023
Oh, can I ask you
one more question?
500
00:27:01,648 --> 00:27:02,899
Yeah, of course.
501
00:27:04,151 --> 00:27:08,446
How come everyone
calls me Crazy Eyes?
502
00:27:36,183 --> 00:27:38,267
(GRUNTING IN FRUSTRATION)
503
00:27:38,810 --> 00:27:41,228
Oh! God, no!
504
00:27:41,479 --> 00:27:42,480
(SOBBING)
505
00:27:47,903 --> 00:27:50,864
Another five milligrams
of diazepam for Doggett.
506
00:27:50,947 --> 00:27:53,408
I don't need any more.
I don't need no...
507
00:27:53,575 --> 00:27:54,826
Hey!
508
00:27:57,579 --> 00:27:59,081
I'm not crazy.
509
00:27:59,372 --> 00:28:01,958
Jesus, where are
you when I need you?
510
00:28:04,794 --> 00:28:08,006
No! Please.
I'm not crazy, I swear.
511
00:28:08,173 --> 00:28:10,926
If you weren't crazy, you
wouldn't have to work so hard
512
00:28:11,051 --> 00:28:12,594
to convince
everyone you're sane.
513
00:28:21,561 --> 00:28:24,439
LORNA: To Tricia.
May she rest in peace.
514
00:28:33,448 --> 00:28:34,490
Hey, Boo!
Hey!
515
00:28:34,616 --> 00:28:35,575
Oh, fuck off!
516
00:28:35,658 --> 00:28:38,120
Got to pour one out
for our girl, huh?
517
00:28:38,327 --> 00:28:39,370
Shit.
518
00:28:40,163 --> 00:28:41,289
Take it, take it.
519
00:28:41,456 --> 00:28:44,167
I thought you said they
weren't doing rounds today.
520
00:28:44,626 --> 00:28:45,919
Oh, it's just you.
521
00:28:46,002 --> 00:28:47,045
Yeah.
522
00:28:47,129 --> 00:28:48,130
(ALL SIGH IN RELIEF)
523
00:28:49,297 --> 00:28:50,465
Girl, get your ass in here.
524
00:28:55,262 --> 00:28:57,222
So this is what you
guys decided to do
525
00:28:57,346 --> 00:28:59,307
instead of come
to my memorial? Huh?
526
00:28:59,390 --> 00:29:00,600
Get drunk?
527
00:29:00,683 --> 00:29:02,269
Which looks like more fun?
528
00:29:02,393 --> 00:29:03,937
Point, Nun.
529
00:29:04,020 --> 00:29:05,063
(CHUCKLES)
530
00:29:05,147 --> 00:29:06,314
No, I can't.
531
00:29:06,439 --> 00:29:08,316
Hey, hand it over.
532
00:29:15,323 --> 00:29:17,117
Used to be a lady
in here who made
533
00:29:17,242 --> 00:29:19,035
the best toilet
hooch you've ever had.
534
00:29:19,661 --> 00:29:20,996
Shame she got out.
535
00:29:23,206 --> 00:29:24,207
Mmm!
536
00:29:25,583 --> 00:29:27,585
Why is having a drink
so cathartic sometimes?
537
00:29:27,669 --> 00:29:30,338
Booze helps you process.
At least where I come from.
538
00:29:30,421 --> 00:29:32,381
My family just yelled at
each other when they drank
539
00:29:32,423 --> 00:29:34,176
and then pretended
like nothing happened.
540
00:29:34,425 --> 00:29:35,426
Ah.
541
00:29:35,510 --> 00:29:38,346
This explains the wide-eyed,
ice-princess uptight thing.
542
00:29:38,471 --> 00:29:40,015
I'm not uptight!
543
00:29:40,140 --> 00:29:41,474
(ALL LAUGHING)
544
00:29:41,891 --> 00:29:44,393
Really? Is that funny?
It's really that hilarious?
545
00:29:44,519 --> 00:29:45,687
No, it's fine.
546
00:29:58,992 --> 00:30:00,535
You're awfully quiet, Nichols.
547
00:30:01,286 --> 00:30:03,038
It's been a long day, you know?
548
00:30:03,538 --> 00:30:05,040
BIG BOO: Look at this shit.
549
00:30:05,165 --> 00:30:07,542
Still kept track of everything
she owed everybody.
550
00:30:10,170 --> 00:30:13,006
How's that for karma,
huh? Yoga?
551
00:30:13,089 --> 00:30:14,883
That girl, she was good.
552
00:30:15,383 --> 00:30:18,887
Better than any of us. Too fucking
good for this fucking place.
553
00:30:19,095 --> 00:30:21,806
Well, fuck that. We all are.
554
00:30:24,142 --> 00:30:25,310
To Trish.
555
00:30:25,434 --> 00:30:26,686
ALL: To Trish.
556
00:30:28,479 --> 00:30:32,150
Hey, come on, Benny.
Shoot one back with me, bud?
557
00:30:32,317 --> 00:30:33,597
Nah, it's all right.
I'm driving.
558
00:30:33,651 --> 00:30:35,362
Suit yourself.
559
00:30:45,163 --> 00:30:46,164
(EXCLAIMS QUIETLY)
560
00:30:52,754 --> 00:30:54,214
Hello, ladies.
561
00:30:54,839 --> 00:30:56,216
How are we doing this evening?
562
00:30:56,424 --> 00:30:57,800
Buy us a drink?
563
00:30:58,009 --> 00:30:59,386
Are you serious?
564
00:30:59,468 --> 00:31:02,513
That's the first thing you say
to me, buy us a fucking drink?
565
00:31:02,597 --> 00:31:05,433
You believe these
fucking sluts, Bennett?
566
00:31:05,558 --> 00:31:07,102
What the fuck is
wrong with you?
567
00:31:07,185 --> 00:31:08,603
I'm sorry.
We just had a long week,
568
00:31:08,770 --> 00:31:10,146
we're letting off
some steam here.
569
00:31:10,272 --> 00:31:11,356
He didn't mean it.
570
00:31:11,439 --> 00:31:13,400
Yeah,
'cause we work at the prison.
571
00:31:13,524 --> 00:31:15,693
No shit?
That's gotta be scary.
572
00:31:16,527 --> 00:31:20,115
A girl died yesterday.
Hung herself.
573
00:31:20,198 --> 00:31:24,619
Should've seen how her eyes fucking bulged
out of her head. (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
574
00:31:25,078 --> 00:31:27,663
Like that actor, that...
575
00:31:27,789 --> 00:31:30,541
Oh, come on, (STAMMERS) the
one with the big eyes...
576
00:31:30,625 --> 00:31:34,296
Oh, come on! You know, the fucking...
The ugly one.
577
00:31:35,630 --> 00:31:38,466
All right. I think, maybe we
should get you home, man.
578
00:31:40,009 --> 00:31:41,010
Oh.
579
00:31:41,970 --> 00:31:44,555
You know what pisses me off, Benny?
(BURPS)
580
00:31:44,931 --> 00:31:47,016
These fucking
bitches look at me like I'm
581
00:31:47,142 --> 00:31:49,227
some goddamn piece
of meat, you know?
582
00:31:49,311 --> 00:31:51,313
Like a fucking sex toy.
583
00:31:51,438 --> 00:31:53,481
But I'm a human being, man.
584
00:31:53,606 --> 00:31:57,193
I'm a person, you know,
with feelings and emotions.
585
00:31:58,445 --> 00:32:01,323
Does anybody ever ask me
how my day is going?
586
00:32:02,490 --> 00:32:03,825
No.
587
00:32:04,659 --> 00:32:08,997
We practically live with these girls.
We know everything about them.
588
00:32:09,998 --> 00:32:14,043
Do they ever for a second think
about our life outside of work?
589
00:32:14,919 --> 00:32:17,964
It's like we cease to exist
outside of those fucking walls.
590
00:32:18,047 --> 00:32:19,924
What the fuck is that?
591
00:32:21,426 --> 00:32:26,014
I'm sitting here, right?
Yeah, I exist!
592
00:32:32,354 --> 00:32:36,107
They think I'm so tall,
my feelings don't get hurt.
593
00:32:37,942 --> 00:32:39,152
All right, yeah.
594
00:32:40,653 --> 00:32:44,532
You are tall, buddy.
Come on. I'll drive you home.
595
00:32:44,699 --> 00:32:46,201
All right.
596
00:32:46,868 --> 00:32:48,870
All right, all right.
597
00:33:01,174 --> 00:33:03,218
Still a lightweight, huh, kid?
598
00:33:03,385 --> 00:33:07,347
Hooch is a little stronger
than Pinot Grigio, you know?
599
00:33:09,849 --> 00:33:11,934
You're looking very nice today.
600
00:33:12,101 --> 00:33:13,728
Better than you, at least.
601
00:33:13,853 --> 00:33:15,730
Are you off to
see you-know-who?
602
00:33:15,938 --> 00:33:17,106
Perhaps.
603
00:33:17,273 --> 00:33:20,568
Well, don't forget Larry's
interview is at 11:00 a.m.
604
00:33:20,776 --> 00:33:22,529
I wouldn't miss it.
605
00:33:23,863 --> 00:33:26,491
ALEX: Well, you two are like
real butt buddies these days.
606
00:33:26,699 --> 00:33:29,660
What do you think about that thing
that Big Boo said last night?
607
00:33:29,785 --> 00:33:31,579
About Tricia's karma?
608
00:33:31,787 --> 00:33:34,290
I think that we were all drunk
and bullshitting.
609
00:33:34,499 --> 00:33:36,543
What if it's not bullshit?
610
00:33:37,877 --> 00:33:40,338
I don't think that Pennsatucky
deserves to be in Psych.
611
00:33:40,588 --> 00:33:44,259
Look, you're just hung over
and feeling emo, all right?
612
00:33:44,342 --> 00:33:46,886
She's exactly
where she belongs.
613
00:33:46,969 --> 00:33:48,596
We basically
performed a public service.
614
00:33:48,721 --> 00:33:50,306
It's pretty horrible, Alex.
615
00:33:50,598 --> 00:33:51,766
You thought it was hilarious.
616
00:33:51,891 --> 00:33:54,519
That was before I talked to Suzanne
about what psych was like.
617
00:33:54,602 --> 00:33:55,603
Who's Suzanne?
618
00:33:55,686 --> 00:33:56,687
Crazy Eyes.
619
00:33:56,771 --> 00:33:58,731
Are you cheating on me and
Larry with Crazy Eyes?
620
00:33:58,814 --> 00:34:00,534
'Cause there is not
room for the four of us.
621
00:34:00,608 --> 00:34:02,360
Shut up. This is not funny.
622
00:34:02,444 --> 00:34:06,072
She said that Psych
is even worse than the SHU.
623
00:34:06,155 --> 00:34:08,616
And I can't even begin...
I can't.
624
00:34:08,699 --> 00:34:10,060
You know,
you really shouldn't have
625
00:34:10,118 --> 00:34:11,558
started this whole
gaslighting thing.
626
00:34:11,578 --> 00:34:12,620
Whoa, what is with the blaming?
627
00:34:12,703 --> 00:34:14,539
You sent her
into that bathroom.
628
00:34:14,622 --> 00:34:16,832
Do not project your
conscience onto me.
629
00:34:16,958 --> 00:34:19,210
Especially before
I'm barely awake.
630
00:34:19,335 --> 00:34:22,838
You know, you're absolutely right.
You're absolutely right.
631
00:34:22,964 --> 00:34:24,299
I am gonna go to
Caputo's office
632
00:34:24,424 --> 00:34:25,758
and I'm gonna tell
him that it was my fault
633
00:34:25,841 --> 00:34:27,135
and that he should let her out.
634
00:34:27,260 --> 00:34:29,554
Okay, I get your point,
Pipes. I get it.
635
00:34:29,678 --> 00:34:32,014
You think that
it was wrong. Cool.
636
00:34:32,848 --> 00:34:36,144
I am so tired of running away
from my shit, Alex.
637
00:34:36,269 --> 00:34:38,438
You said it yesterday.
I compartmentalize
638
00:34:38,563 --> 00:34:40,731
everything to make
myself feel better.
639
00:34:41,316 --> 00:34:43,568
I mean, I'm having
an affair with you.
640
00:34:43,651 --> 00:34:46,821
And we did not play a prank
on Pennsatucky, we were mean.
641
00:34:46,904 --> 00:34:49,991
I cannot let her
stay in Psych. I can't.
642
00:34:50,116 --> 00:34:52,201
Okay,
I would like to stress that
643
00:34:52,327 --> 00:34:54,496
I think this is
truly fucking stupid.
644
00:34:54,829 --> 00:34:57,540
It was me that
started this whole thing.
645
00:34:57,665 --> 00:35:00,627
Then I'll take this
one for the both of us.
646
00:35:06,174 --> 00:35:08,510
PIPER: Are you off
the phone now?
647
00:35:09,135 --> 00:35:11,804
It wasn't in the bathroom,
either.
648
00:35:11,887 --> 00:35:14,641
Did you look at
all while I was out?
649
00:35:16,684 --> 00:35:18,769
Alex,
I understand you're upset,
650
00:35:18,853 --> 00:35:22,773
but could you at least acknowledge
I'm a person who is speaking?
651
00:35:23,899 --> 00:35:27,028
If I miss this
flight I'm screwed.
652
00:35:29,905 --> 00:35:33,951
Alex! Passport! Hello?
653
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:37,539
My mom died.
654
00:35:42,502 --> 00:35:43,628
What?
655
00:35:47,173 --> 00:35:51,135
My aunt just called up. It
happened this morning, I guess.
656
00:35:53,012 --> 00:35:54,597
Oh, Alex.
657
00:35:56,265 --> 00:35:57,892
I'm so sorry.
658
00:35:59,101 --> 00:36:02,605
My first instinct was
to call her to talk about it.
659
00:36:07,694 --> 00:36:09,320
What happened?
660
00:36:09,737 --> 00:36:11,864
An aneurysm.
661
00:36:13,241 --> 00:36:17,078
I don't know. My aunt said so many
things I don't even remember now.
662
00:36:17,203 --> 00:36:18,746
What can I do?
663
00:36:19,372 --> 00:36:21,082
I don't know.
I mean, I need to fly home.
664
00:36:21,165 --> 00:36:22,750
I need to figure
out the funeral
665
00:36:22,875 --> 00:36:24,419
because there's no
one else to do it.
666
00:36:24,669 --> 00:36:25,753
Okay.
667
00:36:27,422 --> 00:36:31,509
Will you see if you could find us
two seats out on a flight today?
668
00:36:37,390 --> 00:36:39,267
Al, I can't go with you.
669
00:36:43,145 --> 00:36:44,313
What?
670
00:36:45,773 --> 00:36:48,651
I am so sorry about your mom.
671
00:36:51,946 --> 00:36:53,781
But this doesn't
change anything.
672
00:36:54,532 --> 00:36:56,409
You're still leaving?
673
00:36:57,410 --> 00:36:58,786
Right now?
674
00:37:00,788 --> 00:37:05,126
My mother just died.
I can't fucking believe you.
675
00:37:07,295 --> 00:37:09,464
I can't be your
girlfriend anymore.
676
00:37:09,547 --> 00:37:12,300
Yeah, and apparently
not even my friend.
677
00:37:15,428 --> 00:37:17,388
Top drawer,
underneath my T-shirts.
678
00:37:17,555 --> 00:37:18,847
Jesus, Alex!
679
00:37:21,267 --> 00:37:23,185
You fucking hid it?
680
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,152
Please don't leave.
681
00:37:32,487 --> 00:37:33,738
Not now.
682
00:37:39,577 --> 00:37:40,578
(SIGHS)
683
00:37:44,039 --> 00:37:45,958
You shouldn't
really be out here.
684
00:37:46,041 --> 00:37:48,336
It's okay.
I wanted to see you.
685
00:37:49,003 --> 00:37:50,254
How are you feeling?
686
00:37:52,006 --> 00:37:55,343
(SIGHS) Okay. A little better. You
heard anything from the warden?
687
00:37:55,426 --> 00:37:57,762
No. I'm...
688
00:37:57,845 --> 00:37:59,221
To be honest,
I think I might have
689
00:37:59,347 --> 00:38:00,723
underestimated
how long it'll take.
690
00:38:00,848 --> 00:38:03,184
They said it could be weeks,
or maybe even months.
691
00:38:03,351 --> 00:38:05,144
We don't got much time.
I know.
692
00:38:05,227 --> 00:38:07,772
Daya, look, I'm really starting
to freak out a little.
693
00:38:07,855 --> 00:38:09,482
I mean, I'm trying to be cool.
694
00:38:09,565 --> 00:38:11,108
But, you know,
I could be arrested for this.
695
00:38:11,192 --> 00:38:12,985
It's not just my job.
It's my whole life, you know?
696
00:38:13,068 --> 00:38:14,987
And I know it's yours,
too, of course.
697
00:38:15,112 --> 00:38:17,031
I don't know how
we're gonna fix this...
698
00:38:20,535 --> 00:38:23,329
It'll be okay.
I know it will.
699
00:38:24,079 --> 00:38:26,499
We'll figure
something out, okay?
700
00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:28,501
Okay.
701
00:38:30,837 --> 00:38:33,047
You know,
would you have liked me
702
00:38:33,214 --> 00:38:35,466
if we would have met
out in the real world?
703
00:38:35,633 --> 00:38:36,884
Yeah.
704
00:38:37,510 --> 00:38:39,261
For real?
Of course.
705
00:38:40,262 --> 00:38:43,932
I would've bought you a drink.
Chatted you up.
706
00:38:44,392 --> 00:38:46,894
I don't know if we would
have been in the same club.
707
00:38:47,061 --> 00:38:48,771
Who knows?
You know, I ended up
708
00:38:48,896 --> 00:38:50,616
in a skeezy dive bar
with Mendez last night.
709
00:38:50,732 --> 00:38:54,902
Never thought I'd be in a place like that.
Oh, man, he was so drunk.
710
00:38:55,027 --> 00:38:56,070
Really?
711
00:38:56,237 --> 00:38:58,197
Wasted, Daya.
Oh, it was hilarious.
712
00:38:58,280 --> 00:38:59,741
These two nasty girls
started hitting on him,
713
00:38:59,907 --> 00:39:01,325
then he went on this whole rant
714
00:39:01,409 --> 00:39:02,910
about how women
treat him like meat
715
00:39:03,035 --> 00:39:04,704
and never ask him
how he's doing or anything.
716
00:39:04,787 --> 00:39:07,498
Who knew he was
such a delicate flower?
717
00:39:08,249 --> 00:39:10,209
I wish you could've seen it.
718
00:39:11,168 --> 00:39:12,712
Me, too.
719
00:39:34,442 --> 00:39:35,860
Mr. Caputo?
720
00:39:36,444 --> 00:39:38,446
What do you need, Chapman?
721
00:39:39,363 --> 00:39:41,574
I'd like to talk to you
about Tiffany Doggett.
722
00:39:42,742 --> 00:39:45,828
We took care of her. She
won't be a problem anymore.
723
00:39:46,328 --> 00:39:48,831
It wasn't her fault.
It was mine.
724
00:39:48,956 --> 00:39:52,460
And I would like to fill out a report.
Officially.
725
00:39:56,672 --> 00:39:57,715
Have a seat.
726
00:39:58,591 --> 00:39:59,592
(SIGHS)
727
00:40:13,355 --> 00:40:15,316
What the fuck are you doing?
728
00:40:15,399 --> 00:40:18,986
You are out of bounds. Get back
behind the line immediately, inmate.
729
00:40:19,111 --> 00:40:24,116
Sorry, I was just... I wanted to talk.
Is that okay?
730
00:40:24,992 --> 00:40:27,077
You must get bored in here.
731
00:40:29,079 --> 00:40:31,123
It's not stimulating, no.
732
00:40:31,206 --> 00:40:33,542
You like other posts
more than the bubble?
733
00:40:34,502 --> 00:40:36,671
Cafeteria's my favorite.
734
00:40:36,838 --> 00:40:38,840
More to do, keeps you busy.
735
00:40:38,965 --> 00:40:40,675
Fucking hate that intake.
736
00:40:40,758 --> 00:40:44,846
The goddamn ID machine's
always broken. Why?
737
00:40:45,721 --> 00:40:48,307
No reason.
Just curious about your day.
738
00:40:50,768 --> 00:40:53,145
Well, it's
important to stay occupied.
739
00:40:53,270 --> 00:40:55,648
That's why I work on
these brain exercises.
740
00:40:55,731 --> 00:40:57,859
You know, a job like this,
you gotta stay sharp.
741
00:40:57,942 --> 00:40:59,902
You gotta stay on
top of your game.
742
00:41:00,027 --> 00:41:03,197
You gotta stay a step ahead.
Quick like a snake.
743
00:41:06,325 --> 00:41:09,662
In case any crossword
criminals jump out at you?
744
00:41:10,454 --> 00:41:11,455
(CHUCKLES)
745
00:41:13,248 --> 00:41:18,587
You know, the other day I just
read this article about Sudoku.
746
00:41:19,254 --> 00:41:22,591
Turns out, the Japanese
did not invent it.
747
00:41:22,717 --> 00:41:26,136
Some American,
some guy came up with it,
748
00:41:26,261 --> 00:41:29,724
originally called
it Numbers Place.
749
00:41:30,516 --> 00:41:33,101
Now I don't know what
Sudoku means in Japanese,
750
00:41:33,227 --> 00:41:37,105
but I find it a little bit odd that
it came out right before 9/11.
751
00:41:49,535 --> 00:41:50,745
You are glowing.
752
00:41:50,995 --> 00:41:52,204
Am I?
753
00:41:57,251 --> 00:42:03,591
Jean, I don't want to jinx it, but I
think I'll hear about my appeal soon.
754
00:42:05,342 --> 00:42:07,344
Where would you like to go?
755
00:42:07,511 --> 00:42:09,263
What do you mean?
756
00:42:09,388 --> 00:42:12,600
On your first night out.
Where should we go?
757
00:42:12,725 --> 00:42:14,769
Anywhere you like.
758
00:42:15,603 --> 00:42:20,441
You must believe, lanmou mwen.
Believe and it will happen.
759
00:42:23,027 --> 00:42:26,030
You remember that
little Italian place down
760
00:42:26,154 --> 00:42:29,116
in the basement,
on Montague Street?
761
00:42:29,241 --> 00:42:30,785
The one with the fresh bread.
762
00:42:30,910 --> 00:42:32,327
Of course I do.
763
00:42:32,536 --> 00:42:34,371
I'd like to go there.
764
00:42:34,705 --> 00:42:36,164
And after?
765
00:42:36,749 --> 00:42:39,293
Anywhere, with you.
766
00:42:44,799 --> 00:42:46,216
MAN ON PA:
Attention all officers,
767
00:42:46,341 --> 00:42:47,760
intake for new
prisoners will be in one hour.
768
00:42:47,843 --> 00:42:50,888
Come in. She's family.
769
00:42:56,102 --> 00:42:58,104
I'll do it.
I got it all set up.
770
00:42:58,228 --> 00:43:01,148
You're sure? Did you tell
him you wanted drugs?
771
00:43:01,315 --> 00:43:03,776
No, I just talked to him.
772
00:43:04,068 --> 00:43:06,487
Simple.
It's clean. I like it.
773
00:43:07,154 --> 00:43:11,241
I didn't want to be this graphic
in front of your mother.
774
00:43:12,284 --> 00:43:13,869
But you know he needs to...
775
00:43:15,079 --> 00:43:16,330
Cum inside of you.
776
00:43:16,497 --> 00:43:17,832
Or on you.
777
00:43:18,206 --> 00:43:21,585
Right. Okay, if... At the very least,
you got to Lewinsky this shit.
778
00:43:21,669 --> 00:43:23,378
Get some splooge
on your uniform.
779
00:43:23,504 --> 00:43:25,255
Anything that'll
be concrete proof.
780
00:43:27,174 --> 00:43:30,011
After you're done, you go
straight to the medic's office.
781
00:43:30,094 --> 00:43:33,597
Tell him you've been raped. Have
him do an exam immediately.
782
00:43:33,681 --> 00:43:35,141
Don't stop to pee.
783
00:43:35,223 --> 00:43:37,893
Don't wash anything.
Understand?
784
00:43:40,938 --> 00:43:42,397
Go get 'em, tiger.
785
00:43:55,369 --> 00:43:57,538
Well, you're not in the SHU.
Mmm-mmm.
786
00:43:57,621 --> 00:44:01,375
Janitorial duty.
Night shift. Two weeks.
787
00:44:02,043 --> 00:44:03,335
You're lucky.
788
00:44:03,878 --> 00:44:05,963
You better be
careful for a while.
789
00:44:09,175 --> 00:44:10,551
No, no, no, no, no.
790
00:44:10,634 --> 00:44:12,553
I think that looks like the exact
opposite of being careful.
791
00:44:12,678 --> 00:44:14,096
Regnery is on duty again.
792
00:44:15,056 --> 00:44:16,891
Come be my little spoon.
793
00:44:24,023 --> 00:44:25,440
Gosh!
794
00:44:27,484 --> 00:44:29,820
Ow. How do you
sleep on this thing?
795
00:44:30,362 --> 00:44:31,655
Not well.
796
00:44:32,447 --> 00:44:34,033
(MENDEZ ANNOUNCING ON PA)
797
00:44:35,951 --> 00:44:37,619
Hey, I am proud of you.
798
00:44:39,663 --> 00:44:41,248
Yeah?
Yeah.
799
00:44:44,585 --> 00:44:49,924
That was really brave. I mean,
it was dumb, but brave.
800
00:44:53,761 --> 00:44:54,929
You know,
801
00:44:56,138 --> 00:45:01,060
I don't think that anyone has ever
used that word to describe me
802
00:45:01,143 --> 00:45:02,937
in the history of the universe.
803
00:45:06,272 --> 00:45:08,859
I'm glad we have
each other in here, kid.
804
00:45:09,235 --> 00:45:10,527
Yeah, me, too.
805
00:45:11,570 --> 00:45:16,909
I mean, I'd rather be on a beach in
Tahiti, but this is a close second.
806
00:45:20,662 --> 00:45:24,125
Why do you always
feel so inevitable to me?
807
00:45:27,086 --> 00:45:28,462
I heart you.
808
00:45:28,587 --> 00:45:29,755
You heart me?
809
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,048
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
810
00:45:31,215 --> 00:45:34,300
What is that? Is that like
"I love you" for pussies?
811
00:45:34,468 --> 00:45:36,095
Say "pussy" again.
812
00:45:37,054 --> 00:45:38,055
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
813
00:46:00,995 --> 00:46:02,663
I heart you, too.
814
00:46:03,329 --> 00:46:06,625
NICKY: Hey, not-lesbians.
It's 11:00.
815
00:46:06,750 --> 00:46:08,502
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
816
00:46:08,627 --> 00:46:10,171
Do you have a radio?
Yeah.
817
00:46:12,714 --> 00:46:14,842
Are you gonna be okay to
listen to this thing together?
818
00:46:15,009 --> 00:46:17,511
I mean, I don't think
it's against the rules.
819
00:46:19,013 --> 00:46:20,848
Okay.
Okay. Here.
820
00:46:24,476 --> 00:46:26,436
MAURY KIND: Chances are,
most of you have been there.
821
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:29,355
It starts with
two people in love.
822
00:46:29,439 --> 00:46:32,734
You make a lot of promises, tell each
other you're different from the rest,
823
00:46:32,860 --> 00:46:34,153
the exception.
824
00:46:35,612 --> 00:46:37,739
For a month or two,
the long, meandering
825
00:46:37,865 --> 00:46:40,034
conversations feel
foreign and exciting.
826
00:46:40,117 --> 00:46:42,870
A chance to get to know one
another in a more intimate level.
827
00:46:43,871 --> 00:46:48,167
And then, slowly, so slowly
you might not even notice,
828
00:46:48,250 --> 00:46:53,297
conversations are replaced by missed
calls and resentful voicemails.
829
00:46:53,839 --> 00:46:55,090
And then finally,
830
00:46:55,841 --> 00:46:57,676
the day comes when
the two of you admit
831
00:46:57,801 --> 00:46:59,678
that you aren't,
in fact, the exception.
832
00:47:02,681 --> 00:47:05,475
That being far away from
the person you love most
833
00:47:05,642 --> 00:47:10,272
is difficult on the good days
and impossible on the bad ones.
834
00:47:14,568 --> 00:47:17,738
Today, we're exploring
long-distance relationships
835
00:47:18,655 --> 00:47:20,241
and talking with
a few New Yorkers
836
00:47:20,324 --> 00:47:23,451
who are currently navigating
these treacherous waters.
837
00:47:24,245 --> 00:47:27,455
I'm Maury Kind,
encouraging you to take
838
00:47:27,581 --> 00:47:30,792
a break from life
and join us, won't you?
839
00:47:32,253 --> 00:47:34,755
Can you tell us some
of your favorite stories?
840
00:47:34,838 --> 00:47:35,881
Oh, man.
841
00:47:37,049 --> 00:47:40,969
Well, I think my
favorite is one of the first.
842
00:47:42,304 --> 00:47:46,392
This insane girl,
like, actually insane,
843
00:47:46,474 --> 00:47:50,396
the kind of person who belongs in a
psychiatric hospital not a prison,
844
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:52,356
but that's a whole
other discussion.
845
00:47:52,438 --> 00:47:56,484
She decides that Piper
is going to be her wife.
846
00:47:57,443 --> 00:48:02,032
She followed her around for days.
Wrote her this horrible poem.
847
00:48:02,866 --> 00:48:06,578
MAURY KIND: Do things like that concern
you in terms of Piper's safety?
848
00:48:06,787 --> 00:48:10,498
LARRY: Of course.
Yeah, of course. Absolutely.
849
00:48:11,499 --> 00:48:13,419
I know she can handle herself,
850
00:48:14,086 --> 00:48:15,879
but when you're dealing
with unstable women,
851
00:48:15,963 --> 00:48:18,464
you have no idea what they're
actually capable of.
852
00:48:18,632 --> 00:48:24,138
I mean, when your fiancee says
that she sleeps with one eye open
853
00:48:24,221 --> 00:48:26,723
because her
roommate is rumored to be
854
00:48:26,848 --> 00:48:29,310
a murderer and might
shiv her in her sleep,
855
00:48:29,435 --> 00:48:31,645
it's impossible
not to be scared.
856
00:48:31,728 --> 00:48:35,649
And I don't want to imply that
they're all crazy and dangerous.
857
00:48:36,984 --> 00:48:40,695
There's one girl who
should've been a track star.
858
00:48:40,821 --> 00:48:45,159
She was actually gonna start training
again while she was in there,
859
00:48:45,242 --> 00:48:49,121
but they shut the track down
because of budget cuts.
860
00:48:49,204 --> 00:48:52,124
There's the girl who has been
planning her wedding for months,
861
00:48:52,207 --> 00:48:54,084
just like everything is normal.
862
00:48:54,168 --> 00:48:57,838
Oh, but she is also sleeping
with the hot, lesbian junkie.
863
00:48:57,963 --> 00:49:00,090
How's that for a prison cliche?
864
00:49:00,924 --> 00:49:04,428
I mean, the cast of
characters goes on and on.
865
00:49:04,510 --> 00:49:09,433
There is the Russian woman who runs
the kitchen, totally terrifying,
866
00:49:09,515 --> 00:49:14,313
but she takes so much pride
in feeding everyone.
867
00:49:14,771 --> 00:49:17,523
You really have
to admire the way
868
00:49:17,649 --> 00:49:20,402
these women find
meaning in their days.
869
00:49:20,735 --> 00:49:23,364
How they take
care of each other.
870
00:49:26,532 --> 00:49:29,203
KIND: I'd like to
talk about the idea
871
00:49:29,328 --> 00:49:31,955
of female prison tropes,
if we could.
872
00:49:33,165 --> 00:49:36,210
It certainly seems
that sexual abuse
873
00:49:36,335 --> 00:49:39,380
and rape are very real threats.
874
00:49:40,047 --> 00:49:43,800
And then, of course,
there's the consensual sex.
875
00:49:43,884 --> 00:49:47,179
Did you and Piper make any
agreements before she left?
876
00:49:47,846 --> 00:49:48,847
Agreements?
877
00:49:48,930 --> 00:49:53,519
Well, pardon the pun, were any "get
out of jail free" cards handed out?
878
00:49:55,687 --> 00:49:59,066
LARRY: No. I'm very
committed to the relationship.
879
00:49:59,233 --> 00:50:00,566
How about for her?
880
00:50:05,989 --> 00:50:07,408
No.
881
00:50:08,742 --> 00:50:13,579
No, we never
discussed any agreements.
882
00:50:13,705 --> 00:50:17,000
Which was probably naive of us.
883
00:50:18,043 --> 00:50:20,754
You know,
it's funny, whenever we
884
00:50:20,921 --> 00:50:23,673
talked about
cheating in an abstract way,
885
00:50:24,716 --> 00:50:27,052
I always said I wouldn't
care if she had sex
886
00:50:27,177 --> 00:50:29,555
with someone else,
if it's just sex.
887
00:50:29,846 --> 00:50:35,185
But suppose, theoretically,
888
00:50:35,936 --> 00:50:39,940
that someone she loved
was in there with her.
889
00:50:40,065 --> 00:50:42,317
Someone she had history with.
890
00:50:43,902 --> 00:50:49,116
Someone who could understand
her life in there
891
00:50:49,241 --> 00:50:52,953
in a way that I'll
never be able to.
892
00:50:53,787 --> 00:50:57,082
It would be
devastating to think that
893
00:50:57,165 --> 00:51:00,419
that person could give her
something that I can't.
894
00:51:02,670 --> 00:51:05,715
It would be way
worse than just sex.
895
00:51:07,509 --> 00:51:10,762
It would be...
896
00:51:11,972 --> 00:51:13,890
It would be a betrayal.
897
00:51:23,484 --> 00:51:24,776
He knows.
898
00:51:29,864 --> 00:51:32,117
It's not phone
hours yet, Chapman.
899
00:51:32,909 --> 00:51:34,495
This is an emergency.
900
00:51:34,620 --> 00:51:37,100
Go eat lunch. You can deal with
your emergency in a few minutes,
901
00:51:37,164 --> 00:51:38,999
just like everyone else.
902
00:51:41,876 --> 00:51:43,629
Nice radio play.
903
00:51:44,879 --> 00:51:46,256
Oh, my God.
904
00:52:09,363 --> 00:52:10,947
He used a condom.
905
00:52:11,072 --> 00:52:12,199
Do you have it?
906
00:52:12,366 --> 00:52:14,368
No. He took it with him.
907
00:52:14,535 --> 00:52:15,661
We went over this.
908
00:52:15,785 --> 00:52:16,870
I know, but...
909
00:52:17,037 --> 00:52:19,831
I couldn't do
anything about it. I...
910
00:52:20,374 --> 00:52:22,459
Well, you're just
gonna have to do it again.
911
00:52:23,918 --> 00:52:27,381
Better hope you were good
enough for him to want more.
912
00:53:30,360 --> 00:53:31,612
Oh, fuck!
913
00:53:42,330 --> 00:53:46,376
I am so, so, so sorry.
914
00:53:46,668 --> 00:53:49,003
I had no idea that
he was gonna say those things.
915
00:53:49,170 --> 00:53:51,047
Is that what you think of me?
916
00:54:07,355 --> 00:54:10,776
An inmate from Litchfield Federal
Prison is attempting to contact you.
917
00:54:10,858 --> 00:54:13,320
To accept the call,
please press one.
918
00:54:13,861 --> 00:54:15,739
(BEEPS)
LARRY: So what did you think?
919
00:54:18,450 --> 00:54:19,701
How did you know?
920
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:21,827
Know what, Piper?
921
00:54:22,828 --> 00:54:24,414
PIPER: I know that you know.
922
00:54:25,165 --> 00:54:28,710
I want to hear you say it.
Tell me you had sex with her.
923
00:54:29,753 --> 00:54:31,004
Please don't do this.
924
00:54:31,254 --> 00:54:33,674
Are you still
having sex with her?
925
00:54:36,468 --> 00:54:37,552
Yes.
926
00:54:43,809 --> 00:54:48,980
Your counselor called me.
927
00:54:49,690 --> 00:54:53,901
Freely, Healy, told me he was
concerned about your behavior.
928
00:54:54,027 --> 00:54:56,363
He told me that you
had to spend some time
929
00:54:56,530 --> 00:54:58,906
in the SHU for
lesbian activity.
930
00:55:00,450 --> 00:55:04,329
So was this your revenge?
Trying to get me killed?
931
00:55:05,079 --> 00:55:08,249
Wait, wait, so, so, you're
the victim in all of this?
932
00:55:08,500 --> 00:55:09,710
They're just people, Larry.
933
00:55:09,835 --> 00:55:11,712
They're just women who are
trying to do their best.
934
00:55:11,795 --> 00:55:14,297
And you made them
sound like they were...
935
00:55:14,381 --> 00:55:15,382
Criminals?
936
00:55:16,257 --> 00:55:17,425
Jesus!
937
00:55:18,552 --> 00:55:20,094
Who are you?
938
00:55:20,261 --> 00:55:24,516
Who... I can't believe... You're
the one asking me that right now?
939
00:55:24,599 --> 00:55:26,226
I can't believe that...
No, actually,
940
00:55:26,351 --> 00:55:27,935
actually,
actually, of course, I can.
941
00:55:28,061 --> 00:55:30,896
I totally can,
because, because God forbid
942
00:55:31,064 --> 00:55:33,941
I would get to dictate
the conversation, ever!
943
00:55:34,401 --> 00:55:37,111
There hasn't been any
conversation to dictate, Larry.
944
00:55:37,237 --> 00:55:39,905
You haven't picked up the
phone in over a week!
945
00:55:41,408 --> 00:55:44,285
Do you have any idea what it
has been like in here for me?
946
00:55:44,411 --> 00:55:46,329
Do you have any idea
how lonely I've been?
947
00:55:46,413 --> 00:55:49,915
Lonely? Lonely, really?
You've been lonely, huh?
948
00:55:50,041 --> 00:55:51,877
That's... Okay,
that's interesting, because,
949
00:55:52,001 --> 00:55:53,837
you know,
I just assumed you were okay,
950
00:55:53,879 --> 00:55:55,463
because you have Alex now.
951
00:55:57,048 --> 00:55:58,425
Do you love her?
952
00:56:00,886 --> 00:56:04,806
No, that's...
It's difficult.
953
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:08,017
Do you love her?
954
00:56:13,356 --> 00:56:14,482
Yes.
955
00:56:33,668 --> 00:56:34,960
She named you, you know?
956
00:56:37,839 --> 00:56:40,258
She's the whole fucking reason
you're in there.
957
00:56:41,134 --> 00:56:43,303
How does it feel
to be in love with
958
00:56:43,428 --> 00:56:45,639
the woman who ruined our lives?
959
00:56:47,181 --> 00:56:48,683
You lied to me?
960
00:56:49,768 --> 00:56:52,646
Guess that makes us
perfect for each other.
961
00:56:56,483 --> 00:56:58,610
I didn't mean for
any of this to happen.
962
00:57:01,321 --> 00:57:03,364
I think I need some time.
963
00:57:04,574 --> 00:57:05,951
What does that mean?
964
00:57:06,033 --> 00:57:08,161
I don't know.
I just... I need...
965
00:57:08,870 --> 00:57:14,153
I need some time, okay? I
need some time away from you.
966
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:17,086
You have to let me fix this.
967
00:57:19,255 --> 00:57:21,215
(TEARFULLY)
I don't know if you can.
968
00:57:27,180 --> 00:57:28,181
(DIAL TONE DRONING)
969
00:57:32,930 --> 00:57:43,121
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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