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1
00:00:03,870 --> 00:00:06,338
Welcome back to ''Gadget Corner.''
2
00:00:06,406 --> 00:00:09,500
Next, we have
an air-powered appliance mover.
3
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:12,374
This is a very useful device.
l have one of these myself.
4
00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:16,074
lt's a way to move furniture without
scratching the floor or hurting your back.
5
00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:17,946
The panels are attached to a blower unit.
6
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,384
Right. Marv, close in here.
l'll show you these.
7
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:22,683
The air is forced into
these aluminum air beams.
8
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:26,351
Which creates enough air pressure
to lift weights of up to 700 pounds.
9
00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:29,486
Which is how Al moves his mom
room to room.
10
00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,588
Can we just...
11
00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,662
Can we just demonstrate this, please?
12
00:00:38,738 --> 00:00:42,697
You just sling the unit over your shoulder
and turn it on...
13
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:46,610
and move your refrigerator effortlessly.
14
00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:48,579
- Wow!
- Hey!
15
00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:55,681
That is very useful.
You can see how useful this is,
16
00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:57,882
but it only will raise it
about an inch and a quarter.
17
00:00:57,957 --> 00:01:00,016
What happens if you have
to move it up a step?
18
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:04,621
Well, then you would do it the old-
fashioned way - by the sweat of your brow.
19
00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:10,294
Let me show you how l'll do it. Heidi, my
slightly tweaked furniture mover, please.
20
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,468
- Here you go, Tim.
- Thank you, Heidi.
21
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:17,772
With the few modifications
l've made on this,
22
00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:21,940
l'll now be able to lift that thing
about a foot and a half.
23
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,279
Help me out here.
24
00:01:24,350 --> 00:01:26,477
All right! Thank you, Heidi.
25
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,748
Just...
26
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:31,188
...switch her on.
There you go. Lift it...
27
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:32,815
Oh!
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00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:34,655
Ohh!
29
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:42,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
30
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:38,113
Hey, Brad, guess what l got.
The girls' ''best and worst'' list.
31
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:41,388
- l can't believe you got that.
- What is it?
32
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:44,453
The girls in high school pass around
this list of what they like about guys,
33
00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:48,023
like best hair, best eyes, best personality...
34
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,865
And guess who has best butt.
35
00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:55,404
No way. Let me see.
36
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,670
Look all you want.
37
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,108
Not your butt, idiot. The list.
38
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,677
l can't believe l'm not on here.
39
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:12,691
How could l lose ''best eyebrows''
to Joey Pagoonis? He only has one.
40
00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:17,361
- Hi, guys.
- Hi, Mom.
41
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,697
Why are you standing like that?
42
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:26,534
Just appreciating a work of art.
43
00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:32,376
- Are the kids getting weirder?
- They've moved way past weird.
44
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:35,710
They're into that frightening category now.
45
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:40,446
Wait until l tell you about what l found out
at school today. You know my friend Patty?
46
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,422
That woman you like
'cause she's older than you?
47
00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:46,822
Get a load of this. She's pregnant.
48
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:50,920
- That's great.
- Patty doesn't think so. She's 43 years old.
49
00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:53,727
She's got teenagers.
She was thrilled to be back at school,
50
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,859
and now everything's gonna change.
51
00:03:55,935 --> 00:04:00,702
Well, maybe Patty and Mr. Patty
should have used some precautions.
52
00:04:00,773 --> 00:04:05,369
They were using precautions.
The same kind we use.
53
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:07,675
Oh, no.
54
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:11,880
l wouldn't want to find myself in that boat.
55
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:15,546
l wouldn't want to find myself in that harbor.
56
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,088
Tim...
57
00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:23,322
we're pretty much in agreement
that our family is complete, right?
58
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:25,626
No more frightening weirdos.
59
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,665
- Are you sure?
- Positive.
60
00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:33,235
Maybe we should think about some more
definitive action, something permanent.
61
00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:35,137
Separate bedrooms?
62
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:36,641
Tim...
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00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:40,543
That's great. You want a more permanent
solution, you have my total support.
64
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:44,947
Honey, l'm talking about
you getting a vasectomy.
65
00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:47,710
You... you...
66
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,187
you've lost my support.
67
00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:53,119
l thought you meant tube-tying.
68
00:04:53,192 --> 00:04:57,424
Well, l am talking about tube-tying,
except it's your tubes.
69
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:01,763
You can back up that clip ship right now.
70
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:05,270
Honey, it is much safer
for a man to get a vasectomy
71
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:07,863
than it is for a woman
to have a tubal ligation.
72
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:10,966
Says who? The Wives with Knives Club?
73
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,715
Look, if l do this,
l have to check into the hospital,
74
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:20,480
go under general anesthetic
and have surgery.
75
00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:25,490
But a man has a vasectomy right there in
the doctor's office. lt's much less invasive.
76
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:31,954
Let me tell you something. Any time
you're dealing with the downtown area...
77
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:35,159
it's pretty darn invasive.
78
00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:38,795
My gynecologist gave me the name
of a very good urologist.
79
00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:41,601
Can we just go talk to this Dr. Kaplan?
80
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:45,872
Why are we slamming the door
on having more kids, anyway?
81
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:52,180
A minute ago you weren't crazy about the
ones we have. You called them frightening.
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00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:56,051
l said it in a very positive light.
l love those little guys.
83
00:05:56,122 --> 00:06:00,650
Hey, kids, get down here! Daddy
wants to tell you how much he loves you!
84
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,327
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Marty.
85
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,731
- Hey, Benny.
- Hey, Marty.
86
00:06:09,969 --> 00:06:11,732
Nice sweater.
87
00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:14,970
Wow. That reminds me of something -
88
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:19,535
when one of the kids spit up
after eating a whole box of crayons.
89
00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:22,172
That's very funny. Yeah.
90
00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:25,012
Jeez. Who dresses you? Your wife?
91
00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:29,185
She didn't dress me.
She just bought it and...
92
00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,450
made me wear it.
93
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:34,493
You are getting very henpecked, Martin.
94
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:41,022
Speaking of ''pecked,'' l heard about your
little visit with the urologist tomorrow.
95
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:44,066
Marty, that's not public information, OK?
96
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,332
- What's the matter? Are you sick?
- No.
97
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,395
- Huh?
- Mm-mm.
98
00:06:47,473 --> 00:06:49,771
lt's your prostate, right?
99
00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:53,803
Mine's as big as a Florida grapefruit.
100
00:06:55,882 --> 00:07:00,080
- No. Jill's making Tim get a vasectomy.
- Marty!
101
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:02,383
- A vasectomy?
- Wow.
102
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:05,754
Oh, my God! Jill's getting you fixed?
103
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,256
l'm not getting a vasectomy.
l'm just talking about it.
104
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:14,789
Yeah, well, all l know is
l'd never let Nancy let me get clipped.
105
00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:19,998
You know? l mean, who'd want someone
coming at you with a set of these?
106
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:23,166
That's not what they use!
107
00:07:23,242 --> 00:07:26,609
Then what does the vet use
to cut them off?
108
00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:29,913
What? You don't go to a vet -
you go to a doctor.
109
00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:33,213
They don't cut anything off.
They just tie something off inside.
110
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,311
l would still never get a vasectomy.
111
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:38,880
Well, why would you need one?
112
00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:45,224
Yeah, well, all l know is once you have that
happen, you're... you're a changed man.
113
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,734
You are not. lt doesn't change you at all.
114
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,792
Tell that to my dog.
115
00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:55,697
We had Boomer neutered.
He was a changed animal.
116
00:07:55,775 --> 00:08:00,235
All he does now is he just runs around
in circles all day and chews on my slippers.
117
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,940
- He always did that.
- Yeah.
118
00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:06,417
But now he does it and he's got
this real sad look on his face.
119
00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:10,752
l don't want to talk about this.
120
00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:13,417
You'd better talk about it now
'cause after you get it done,
121
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,395
(high-pitched) ...you're gonna
be talking like this.
122
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,528
You can be your own tool girl.
123
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,731
That's real funny, guys.
124
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:32,175
l think you're all being very insensitive.
125
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:35,772
A vasectomy is a noble way
for a man to take responsibility.
126
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,816
Tim is making a very loving choice.
127
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:40,216
Shut up, Al.
128
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:45,383
What do you do, Al? Sit on the can all day
reading Ladies Home Journal?
129
00:08:46,959 --> 00:08:49,291
Hey, Tim, pass me the potato chips,
would ya?
130
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,126
- Do l look like a waiter to you?
- Forget the chips.
131
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,223
Got any nuts?
132
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,973
We should go.
l don't think the doctor will be here.
133
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,205
Honey, it's only been about 30 seconds.
134
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,010
Really? lt seems like a lot longer,
doesn't it?
135
00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:13,074
(woman) Harold, get back here!
136
00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:19,221
Another happy customer.
137
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:24,286
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Taylor. l'm Dr. Kaplan.
l'll be with you in a minute.
138
00:09:25,097 --> 00:09:26,758
(Dr Kaplan) Harold!
139
00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:31,462
- You brought me here to see a woman?
- l didn't know she was a woman.
140
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:35,974
My gynecologist just said that Dr. Kaplan
was the best urologist in town.
141
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:40,411
How am l supposed to talk to a woman
about what's going on in manland?
142
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,271
Manland?
143
00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:47,679
Now you got a theme park
between your legs?
144
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,457
Honey, you don't have to
have the surgery done by a woman.
145
00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,727
But as long as we're here, we should
listen to what she has to say.
146
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,200
Sorry to keep you waiting.
147
00:10:05,204 --> 00:10:08,696
So, what brings you here today?
148
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:11,072
We're interested in a vasectomy.
149
00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:14,271
She's more interested than l am.
150
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,008
That's not uncommon.
151
00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:21,042
But let me assure you, this is a very safe
procedure. lt's done right here in the office.
152
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,317
What if l change my mind?
153
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:30,488
ln some cases it can be reversed, but
you shouldn't count on that as an option.
154
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,191
l mean change my mind about being here,
which l think l have.
155
00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:35,995
Tim, Tim, Tim, wait, wait, wait.
Um...
156
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:39,003
My husband, l think, is just concerned
157
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:41,938
about how this is gonna affect
his performance.
158
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:43,703
Honey!
159
00:10:43,776 --> 00:10:48,338
Let me handle this.
You see, l put on a good show.
160
00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:54,042
l just want to make sure the curtain doesn't
come down in the middle of the first act.
161
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:58,181
This will not in any way
affect your sexual function.
162
00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:02,193
- We simply cut off the flow of sperm...
- Oh, boy.
163
00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:04,752
...to prevent it
from entering the seminal stream.
164
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:08,129
So, l'm fishing without bait now.
165
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,024
No bait.
166
00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:14,971
- Tell us what's involved in the procedure.
- Yeah, l'm dying to hear this.
167
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:18,204
The morning of your appointment,
you'll have to shave in the area
168
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:20,336
where l'll be making the incisions.
169
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:22,438
Shave?
170
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,312
Here?
171
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:28,820
- lt's just a routine procedure.
- Not in my house it's not.
172
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:35,156
What do you think? l wake up,
brush my teeth and shave ping and pong?
173
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:43,758
Well, you could go to a barber,
but it might be a little awkward.
174
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:49,668
The first thing l do is give you a shot
that's a local.
175
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:51,903
Local, like here in Detroit?
176
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:57,106
- No. Local like here in your scrotum.
- Oh, boy.
177
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:01,380
- That does sting for a few seconds.
- You think?
178
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:11,053
Then l make two small cuts,
and simply divide and tie up the tubes.
179
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,893
The discomfort is very minimal.
180
00:12:12,965 --> 00:12:15,763
Why don't you tell that
to the boys in the basement?
181
00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,530
You'll be back to normal in a few days.
182
00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:20,470
The only restriction is
you can't drive home that day.
183
00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:22,564
What? l can't drive?
184
00:12:22,641 --> 00:12:24,632
Forget about it.
185
00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:27,174
What do you mean, ''Forget about it''?
186
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:31,546
Honey, honestly, l was really into it up
to that point. The driving thing iced it.
187
00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:33,608
lt's just one day!
188
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,120
lt's bad enough to separate a man
from his sperm.
189
00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:39,646
But separate a man from his car?
That's inhuman.
190
00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:41,716
Harold, wait up.
191
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:10,180
Aren't you getting tired
of looking at your butt?
192
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:13,225
Surprisingly, no.
193
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:16,489
Let me tell you something
no one's ever gonna tell you in life.
194
00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:18,223
Looks matter and...
195
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,288
l got 'em.
196
00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:24,862
Just too bad you're sitting on 'em.
197
00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:28,706
- Hi, Brad.
- Hey.
198
00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:31,800
Seriously, aren't my eyebrows
better than Joey's?
199
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:34,277
Yeah. l told you l voted for you.
200
00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:38,544
l can't believe l lost to a guy
with a caterpillar over his eyes.
201
00:13:38,617 --> 00:13:40,847
- Hey, Brad, Angela.
- Hey, Randy. How are you?
202
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:44,686
Great. You happen to see the latest list?
You know, l made ''best butt.''
203
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:49,387
l heard. Allison Lewis was having a fight
with her boyfriend, who has the cutest butt,
204
00:13:49,461 --> 00:13:53,022
because he was talking to Tiffany Fink,
so she made up this list
205
00:13:53,098 --> 00:13:58,730
and instead of putting his butt on it,
she picked out the scrawniest butt - yours.
206
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,202
- Maybe l shouldn't have told you that.
- You think?
207
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:05,038
Sorry.
208
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:09,277
l'm so embarrassed.
Why didn't you tell me he didn't know?
209
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,373
- Because...
- l wouldn't have said anything,
210
00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:14,681
because l'm usually careful
about what comes out of my mouth.
211
00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:20,086
Tim, didn't you hear one word
that doctor said?
212
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:21,387
Yeah, yeah!
213
00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:25,089
She wants to take the zip-a-dee
out of my doo-dah.
214
00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:30,063
Look, l know how hard it was
for you to even talk to that doctor.
215
00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:35,004
But l had hoped that once we left, we
could have a rational discussion about it.
216
00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:36,769
We did in the car on the way home.
217
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:41,074
All you did all the way home was come up
with one ridiculous excuse after another.
218
00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:43,706
Not true. l merely said that,
for this sort of thing,
219
00:14:43,782 --> 00:14:47,183
it might be better
to wait for warmer weather.
220
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:51,221
l'll knit you a little sweater.
221
00:14:56,095 --> 00:15:00,623
You heard her. Shots, shaving? You don't
understand about the pain down there.
222
00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:04,260
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute!
- (turns o TV)
223
00:15:04,336 --> 00:15:07,430
l don't understand
about the pain down there?
224
00:15:07,506 --> 00:15:12,273
l, who had three children ripped
from my loins...
225
00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:16,280
in what is laughingly described
as ''natural'' childbirth?
226
00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:18,339
Oh, boy. Here we go.
227
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:23,782
The pain of childbirth.
lsn't there a statute of limitations on this?
228
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:27,257
lsn't there a statute of limitations
on you being a bonehead?
229
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:29,556
You are unwilling to accept responsibility
230
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:33,621
for what l have accepted total responsibility
for since we met!
231
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:35,929
This is not about accepting responsibility.
232
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:39,801
This is about me being neutered
and chewing on my slippers.
233
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,404
Who said anything about you
being neutered?
234
00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:46,000
- Certain experts l talked to.
- Harry and Benny?
235
00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:49,104
Where did they get their degrees?
University of l'm An ldiot?
236
00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:51,649
Well, they may be idiots,
237
00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:54,083
but they think exactly like l do.
238
00:15:57,523 --> 00:16:01,220
- Oh, is that you, neighbor?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
239
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,262
Hi, Wilson. What are you doing?
240
00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,958
l'm gathering some twigs
for my terrarium.
241
00:16:07,032 --> 00:16:10,001
lt's mating time for my new spiders.
242
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:12,830
lt's a little-known fact,
243
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:18,605
but the male spider's sex organ is located
at the end of one of its legs.
244
00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:21,669
Better keep that spider away from Jill.
245
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:24,409
He won't have a leg to stand on.
246
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,880
l'm not sure l follow.
247
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:34,483
She wants, um... she wants me
to have a vasectomy.
248
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,653
Ah, l follow.
249
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,163
l know a lot of guys get them.
l'm not one of those guys.
250
00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:42,200
l don't want anybody messing...
you know... with the, you know.
251
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:44,030
(laughs)
252
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:48,437
Well, Tim, it's perfectly natural
for a man to be proud of his virility.
253
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,635
lt gives him a sense of power
to be able to pass down his genes.
254
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:55,009
Yeah. l like power in my genes. Oh-oh-oh.
255
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,547
(chuckles)
256
00:16:56,615 --> 00:17:01,245
ln fact, in many cultures, a man is
measured by his ability to procreate.
257
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:07,589
ln the Zulu tribe of KwaZulu-Natal, the
more children a man has, the higher his
status.
258
00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:10,787
l don't want to have more children.
l just like knowing that l can.
259
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,194
Hm.
260
00:17:12,264 --> 00:17:16,360
When Jill first told me she was pregnant,
l never felt more like a man.
261
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:19,802
Well, that's perfectly understandable.
262
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,363
l knew a guy would understand.
263
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:26,070
l also understand there are lots
of other things that make you a man.
264
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:27,271
Such as?
265
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:31,544
Well, the way you live your life,
take care of your kids...
266
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:33,847
your commitment to Jill.
267
00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:37,251
So l should get a vasectomy?
268
00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:40,018
Oh, Tim, l can't tell you what to do.
269
00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:43,789
l do know if l had a vasectomy,
l would not feel like any less of a man.
270
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:46,660
Well, if you had one, neither would l.
271
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,263
Hey, Tim.
272
00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:53,668
What are you doing here? Did you guys
come up with another vasectomy joke?
273
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,708
Uh, actually we came up with 1 2.
274
00:17:57,476 --> 00:18:00,240
But that's not why l'm here. l, uh...
(clears throat)
275
00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:04,373
l came by to apologize for the other day.
We were a little rough on you.
276
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:06,042
Hey, no kidding.
277
00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:08,712
- Harry, l can take a joke, OK?
- Yeah.
278
00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:11,517
You know, Tim, lots of guys
have had vasectomies,
279
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,956
and they're just as manly
as they ever were.
280
00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:16,551
Oh, yeah? You name one.
281
00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:20,522
- Me.
- Wha...?
282
00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:21,930
Yeah.
283
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,264
l had one five years ago.
284
00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:29,933
Really? At least we know it doesn't
make your voice get any higher.
285
00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:32,442
Actually, it did.
286
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:37,373
lf you got a vasectomy, why didn't you
say something the other day?
287
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:41,510
Oh, in front of those jerks?
Look how they went after you.
288
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,782
l can't believe you had a vasectomy.
289
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:48,293
Delores wanted to have her tubes tied, and
she was really scared about the operation.
290
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:51,386
You know, she's been through childbirth
four times, and...
291
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:55,524
l've been to Nam. l've been shot,
stabbed, kicked, bit, mortared, bombed.
292
00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:58,229
l figured, hey, what's a snip or two?
293
00:19:00,005 --> 00:19:02,496
You know, this is amazing.
Really amazing.
294
00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:07,705
You know a guy all your life and you don't
know what's going on under his pants.
295
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:14,977
You know, just between you and me,
there's nothing to it.
296
00:19:15,053 --> 00:19:18,682
You feel the same as you did before.
The only difference is your sex life.
297
00:19:18,757 --> 00:19:22,591
- What happens to it?
- Any time, any place.
298
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:24,959
(Tim laughs)
299
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:26,725
Any time, any place.
300
00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:29,790
- You got it.
- So this helped your relationship?
301
00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:34,965
Well, nothing could help our relationship.
But our sex life is a lot better.
302
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,440
This morning
l was getting ready to go to work,
303
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:41,036
and Delores came in with curlers
in her hair, and nothing else...
304
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,377
Harry, you've helped enough.
305
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:49,310
l'd love to stay, but l promised my mom
l'd be home by 5:30.
306
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:53,017
and if l'm late, she'll lecture me
and she goes on and on and on.
307
00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:57,152
You can't get a word in edgewise. l don't
know if you know any people like that.
308
00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:59,220
- Just one.
- See ya.
309
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,458
- Bye.
- Hi.
310
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,397
- Bye.
- Bye.
311
00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:05,225
(snis) Whoo!
312
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:07,670
- Smells good. What are we eating?
- Takeout.
313
00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:09,730
Ah, my favorite.
314
00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:13,602
- l think l'm ready to talk.
- About?
315
00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:16,648
About what you want to talk about
that l didn't want to talk about.
316
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:19,047
- The vasectomy?
- Yup.
317
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:25,256
l think the trouble l'm having is that even
though l don't want any more children,
318
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:29,055
the thought that l can't would
kind of make me feel like...
319
00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:30,321
Less of a man.
320
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,363
That would be it.
321
00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:37,594
Tim, if l had my tubes tied,
would you see me as less of a woman?
322
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,705
- No.
- Why should it be any different for you?
323
00:20:40,772 --> 00:20:43,866
And why would it be any different
for me?
324
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:49,176
lf you did this, not only would you
be protecting me from surgery,
325
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:54,515
but you'd be making a real commitment
to me and our relationship.
326
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:57,054
ln my eyes, that makes you more of a man.
327
00:20:57,122 --> 00:21:00,285
(grunting) l want to be more of a man.
Yeah.
328
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:04,956
- What do you think?
- l think l have more questions.
329
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:07,430
OK. Such as what?
330
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:11,765
Do they make a home kit so l can do it
right here in the garage?
331
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,772
l don't think so.
332
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:19,402
- Could this be your birthday present?
- Absolutely, yeah.
333
00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:23,608
For once, l wouldn't have to stand in line
and return it.
334
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:25,980
And while l'm preparing for this,
335
00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:30,249
will you go out and find me
a very, very mild aftershave?
336
00:21:30,922 --> 00:21:35,518
- Yeah, l'll work on that. Yeah.
- Gotta be careful about slapping it on, too.
337
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:47,568
- We're going to the park.
- We'll be back in a bit.
338
00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:50,267
- OK, dinner's at six.
- All right. We'll be here.
339
00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:51,502
All right.
340
00:21:57,182 --> 00:21:59,173
(gasps)
341
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:01,811
Honey...
342
00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:05,687
l don't know if this vasectomy
was such a good idea.
343
00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:09,826
Sure it was. Anywhere, any time.
344
00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:14,330
- Kitchen counter?
- No, no, no.
345
00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:16,390
The attic.
346
00:22:18,036 --> 00:22:20,630
No. That was too dusty.
347
00:22:20,706 --> 00:22:24,733
Maybe we should try someplace
we haven't been in a while.
348
00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:26,801
- The bedroom!
- Bedroom!
349
00:22:30,215 --> 00:22:31,375
Um...
350
00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:37,355
While l'm preparing for this, will you
go out and find me a very mild aftershave?
351
00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:39,413
l'd work on it, yes.
352
00:22:45,263 --> 00:22:48,994
Remind me not to use toilet paper
if l nick myself.
353
00:22:49,305 --> 00:22:55,309
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