Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,635 --> 00:00:05,695
Welcome back to Tool Time
and our week-long salute...
2
00:00:05,772 --> 00:00:09,833
(bugle plays reveille)
3
00:00:09,909 --> 00:00:10,933
...to the military.
4
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,536
- A subject near and dear to my heart.
- Tell them.
5
00:00:13,613 --> 00:00:17,913
Well, l was a Navy C.B. That, of course,
stands for Construction Battalion.
6
00:00:17,984 --> 00:00:21,681
We are always the first ones in
laying the groundwork for the other forces.
7
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:23,586
- We're the ones building the bridges.
- Klaus!
8
00:00:23,656 --> 00:00:26,318
We're building the roads,
the landing strips...
9
00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:28,691
(# theme music)
10
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:30,957
We're...
11
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:37,835
Today we're talking about tools
the military uses. OK?
12
00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:40,839
l needed help on today's show.
An old high-school buddy of mine,
13
00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:45,810
Billy McDougal, will be here. We used to
call him ''Moon Pie Face.'' But no longer.
14
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,905
lt's Lieutenant Colonel William McDougal
of the United States Marine Corps.
15
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:52,543
Bring him out with a round of applause.
Come on out here, Billy.
16
00:00:57,257 --> 00:01:00,988
Moon Pie, Moon Pie, Moon Pie.
17
00:01:01,694 --> 00:01:07,655
lt's amazing, you know? l guess they
wanted a few good men and one big wuss.
18
00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:13,566
Tim, if l remember correctly, you were such
a wimp, the Cub Scouts wouldn't take you.
19
00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:18,199
Yeah. But the Girl Scouts loved me.
20
00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:22,979
We played war as kids. What's it like
playing war and getting paid for it?
21
00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:27,110
Timmy, l'm not playing war anymore.
l'm a tank battalion commander.
22
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:31,146
And today l've brought along a lot of
the tools we use to work on the tanks.
23
00:01:31,224 --> 00:01:34,921
Well, let's bring 'em on out here.
Heidi, the tools for the tanks, please.
24
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,389
Here you go, Tim.
25
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:45,603
Thank you, Heidi. All right, let's start with
the tool that we call ''The Dog Bone.''
26
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:48,163
- Let me see that.
- Hold onto that, Timmy.
27
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:53,939
Now, we use that as a jack to
lift road wheels.
28
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:04,515
Next, we've got a tool that we call
''The Little Joe.''
29
00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:07,958
Little Joe.
lt looks more like Hoss to me.
30
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:12,856
lt's definitely no Hop Sing,
l'll tell you that.
31
00:02:12,932 --> 00:02:16,561
Well, let's cut to the chase.
ls there any way that l could drive a tank?
32
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:21,164
- Come to California and we can arrange it.
- All right!
33
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:24,574
Excuse me, Colonel, but letting
Tim drive a tank, well...
34
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,875
that's jeopardizing national security.
35
00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:31,041
- Let it go, Al, please?
- Al, you got nothing to worry about.
36
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:34,348
We've got 1 0,000 Marines on
the base to keep their eyes on Tim.
37
00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:37,514
- Right!
- lt's not enough.
38
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:45,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.SubtitleDB.org today
39
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:34,811
- Jill!
- Yeah, out here!
40
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:39,410
What a great show today.
We did our salute to the military, right?
41
00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:43,512
l got invited out to California to
a military base to drive a tank.
42
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:47,686
Wow, that's so great! When do we go?
43
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,127
We?
44
00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:54,894
ls that ''we'' like in ''we,''
or ''we'' like in ''whee!''?
45
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,734
You're not planning on going
without me?
46
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:03,265
Well, l... no. l thought l'd make
reservations at that spa in Palm Springs.
47
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,641
- Yes!
- You'll be at that hotel soaking in mud,
48
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:08,408
and l'll be at the base driving through it.
49
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:16,447
Tim, l'm the army brat.
lt'd be fun for me to go to a military base.
50
00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:20,549
- Driving a tank is not about fun.
- What is it about?
51
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:23,886
lt's about grown men driving
heavy equipment
52
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:27,490
while other grown men hide in bushes
and act like bad guys.
53
00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:34,836
l do not want to hang around the hotel
while you get to do all the cool stuff.
54
00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:36,499
- Oh, cool stuff?
- Yes.
55
00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:38,976
ln the desert, it's hot.
You know how you are.
56
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:43,880
(mocking Jill) ''lt's so hot. My hair
is so sandy and my skin's so dry,
57
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:47,408
it's like a pair of alligator shoes.
Look at this. lt's cracking.''
58
00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:50,945
Tim, that is not me - that's you.
59
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:55,285
- Now, why can't l go to the base?
- What's the purpose of it?
60
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:58,762
The military doesn't allow women to
drive tanks. You'd be bored.
61
00:04:58,831 --> 00:05:01,595
l would not. l'd be standing around
trying to convince them
62
00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:05,104
that women are perfectly
capable of driving tanks.
63
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:07,298
Well, there's a good time.
64
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:13,206
Oh, come on! How many times do we find
something that we're both interested in?
65
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:17,375
Never. And l don't want to screw up
a winning formula.
66
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:23,216
Come on! We'll have the boys stay with Al.
What do you say? What do you say?
67
00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:29,159
Four words that seem to rule my life -
''Anything you want, Jill.''
68
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,505
(knocking)
69
00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:44,270
Ah, just a minute... OK.
70
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,575
(Tim) Al, quit fluffing the pillows
and let us in.
71
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,812
- Hey, all right! Come on in! How are ya?
- Hey, watch the hair!
72
00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:55,717
OK.
73
00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:59,053
Thank you so much for taking care of
them this weekend.
74
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:03,653
Yeah. lt really works out for us
that you have no life.
75
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:08,297
l have a life. lt just happens
that llene is away at an orthodontic retreat.
76
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:11,565
Besides, l love hanging out
with these guys.
77
00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:15,835
- Oh, l'm gonna miss you boys so much.
- Have a good time, listen to Al, all right?
78
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:19,002
Right. We'l have a wild,
carefree weekend! Anything goes!
79
00:06:19,078 --> 00:06:22,070
- All right!
- Oh, but not there. No.
80
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:27,908
OK. Al, here's the number of the hotel.
lf you can't page us in the room,
81
00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:29,477
- then page us at the pool.
- OK.
82
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:32,547
lf not at the pool, page at the base.
l wrote this number down.
83
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:36,356
There's a three-hour time difference.
lf it's four here, it's one there.
84
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:38,624
- Right.
- lf it's six here, it's three there.
85
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:42,794
Honey, if you keep talking to him, we'll
still be here before we even get there.
86
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:45,599
Here, here.
OK. Thank you so much. Bye.
87
00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:47,730
- Have a good time.
- Bye, kids. Be good.
88
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:54,406
Well, OK. Bye. Well, are you ready for
a carefree, wild weekend?
89
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,972
- Yeah. What are we gonna do?
- l thought we would... Don't touch that.
90
00:06:58,050 --> 00:07:01,884
Your dad already broke it.
91
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:09,954
You know, l thought maybe we'd start off
with a rousing game of... Parcheesi. Huh?
92
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:13,396
Winner gets a fat-free fig bar.
93
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:16,958
What a treat for three fig lovers like us!
94
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:23,066
Oh, not to worry. l got a consolation prize -
low-sodium rice cakes.
95
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:28,638
This is great. Mom and Dad get to
go to California,
96
00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:31,615
and we get figs and rice.
97
00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:37,088
OK, l see what it is. You guys are feeling
a little left out. Huh?
98
00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:40,125
Yeah, well, l know
what it feels like to be left out.
99
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:46,598
When l was your age, my folks left me
when they went off to the Amish country.
100
00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:54,371
l remained bitter for years.
101
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,840
Well, you got over it, right?
102
00:07:58,010 --> 00:08:00,308
Rather not talk about it.
103
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:10,547
There are four fuel tanks on the M1 A1
that hold a total of 504 gallons.
104
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:13,990
Whoo! l hope you have self-serve.
105
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:17,120
- What does this thing weigh?
- l'm guessing 65 tons.
106
00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:19,562
No, no, no.
lt's gotta be more like a hundred tons.
107
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:24,569
Actually, the curb weight is 67.7 tons.
Very impressive, Jill.
108
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,663
- She grew up on a military base.
- l always loved tanks.
109
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:32,439
Hey, wait a minute! What does
one of these things cost... out the door?
110
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,345
4.3 million. A little
more if you want the CD player.
111
00:08:35,414 --> 00:08:40,374
- Wow! Well, what kind of engine's in it?
- 1 500-horsepower gas turbine.
112
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:45,413
- Wow! The old M48 had what? 750?
- This tank also has battlefield override,
113
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:49,325
a 1 20-millimeter smooth bore,
and enhanced shift tie-downs.
114
00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:53,263
You know, to make it look better...
chrome wheels and a custom paint job.
115
00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:56,699
l'll mention that to the Pentagon.
Jill, you really know your tanks.
116
00:08:56,769 --> 00:09:00,432
Oh, l always loved tanks. When l was a
child, l used to dream of driving one.
117
00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:05,534
Of course, l knew l'd never get to since
l'm just a lowly, inept, helpless female.
118
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:08,512
And it starts.
119
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:11,812
You know, many people think
that policy is outdated.
120
00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:13,715
Good.
121
00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:16,949
Uh, Tim, you might want to stay
away from the tank commander's post.
122
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:19,321
There are buttons
that can get you into trouble.
123
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,054
Oh, l love buttons.
124
00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:26,798
Man, what l wouldn't give to get behind
the T-bar of one of these hogs.
125
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:30,165
Jill, even though women aren't allowed to
operate these in combat,
126
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:33,262
we could arrange a test drive for you.
127
00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:36,240
No! You're kidding me!
You're gonna let me drive a tank?
128
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:41,178
- Tim, he is gonna let me drive a tank!
- l don't think that's such a good idea.
129
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:46,150
She has the facts, but hands-on
experience - that's something else.
130
00:09:59,498 --> 00:10:05,767
Everybody OK? l was just showing
her how to use the machine gun.
131
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:14,069
(Billy) These are
the tanks you'll be driving.
132
00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:17,673
Now, remember, Timmy, this isn't the old
Chevy Nova you had in high school.
133
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:22,585
(Tim) Of course not. That bit the dust
when the tree ran into me, remember?
134
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,180
We've set up an obstacle course
for the two of you.
135
00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:28,658
You got a real one for me and, like,
a little baby one for Jill?
136
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:31,856
We'll see who's crying for
his mommy when this is over.
137
00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,398
Yeah, we will.
138
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:38,062
The objective is to maneuver through
the course without knocking over pylons.
139
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,128
So, let's pile on!
140
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:43,573
Remember, honey, it's not like driving
around the mall parking lot.
141
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,770
Yeah. lt's not like
that Tool Time set either.
142
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:48,473
lf you have any questions,
just ask your tank commander.
143
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:50,742
You'll be communicating
with your radio mike.
144
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,807
- l got it.
- Got it.
145
00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:55,319
And good luck out there.
146
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,686
Fire in the hole.
147
00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:03,089
Eat my dust, sucker.
148
00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:15,797
(Jill laughs)
149
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:19,709
- Whoa, l love this!
- (man) asy on the throttle. Mr Taylor
150
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:23,647
Will you relax?
l know what l'm doing here.
151
00:11:25,718 --> 00:11:28,551
Wait a minute. OK, yeah, all right!
152
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,715
(man) Watch out. Mrs Taylor
Your husband is losing control
153
00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:34,089
Tim? What is he doing?
154
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,061
(man) Mr Taylor. watch out for the pylons
155
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:39,654
(Tim) Oh. hey! Wait a minute
Yeah. OK. OK
156
00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:45,198
(man) Look out. Mrs Taylor
He's cutting you o
157
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,466
lt's a traffic lane here, Jill!
158
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:56,007
- (man) Mr Taylor. look out for that sign
- What sign?
159
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:57,606
Oh, that sign.
160
00:11:57,683 --> 00:12:00,550
(man) Mrs Taylor.
is your husband out of his mind?
161
00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:03,179
(Jill) Yes. sir. Corporal. sir
162
00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:13,690
Oh, incoming! lncoming!
163
00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:24,366
OK. Just playing through!
164
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:35,744
Bill, what are the chances of
me driving that tank again?
165
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:40,155
Oh, about the same as
Tool Time winning an Emmy.
166
00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:45,591
That little tank accident
could've happened to anyone.
167
00:12:45,664 --> 00:12:48,155
lt's never happened in
the history of the Marines.
168
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:52,594
Well, the important thing is
that nobody got hurt.
169
00:12:52,671 --> 00:12:58,507
And we know our country would win if
we're ever invaded by enemy golf carts.
170
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:04,481
Tim, not only is she a better tank
driver than you, she's also funnier.
171
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:08,452
- Yeah. l just can't stop laughing, Bill.
- No.
172
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:13,549
Mmm, chipped beef on toast.
l haven't had this since l was 1 1 years old.
173
00:13:15,494 --> 00:13:19,225
Ew! You're probably still digesting it.
174
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:23,564
Colonel, l can't thank you enough. You
fulfilled a childhood dream for me today.
175
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,504
lt was a pleasure watching you in action.
Like you've driven a tank all your life.
176
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:30,770
lt was such a cool feeling.
You know, when l started l was so scared.
177
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:33,243
Then when l got comfortable,
it was so much fun.
178
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:35,872
When you grabbed that T-bar,
you just let her rip...
179
00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:38,143
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
180
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:41,744
You know, how do they get
the tea this color? Boy.
181
00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:45,585
Hey, Steve, have a seat!
Meet my old buddy, Tim Taylor.
182
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,821
- Good to meet you, sir.
- And his lovely wife, Jill.
183
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:52,386
- Hi, it's nice to meet you.
- You're the one the base is talking about.
184
00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:56,195
- Boy, that was some tank driving!
- Well, thank you very much.
185
00:13:56,268 --> 00:14:02,070
- My husband got to drive a tank, too.
- Yeah. The base is talking about that, too.
186
00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:06,842
Yeah, you sure beat the pants off
old Timmy here.
187
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:09,210
- Well, it wasn't a race.
- Yeah, you're right.
188
00:14:09,281 --> 00:14:11,613
Give him a break.
He's probably one of those guys
189
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:15,381
that doesn't know
a whole lot about machines.
190
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:19,788
- What do you do for a living, sir?
- l own a little dress shop.
191
00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:27,599
- No, he doesn't. He's got a tool show.
- No. And it's a great show.
192
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:31,033
He had trouble with those obstacles,
but it wasn't an easy course.
193
00:14:31,103 --> 00:14:34,595
- You don't have to defend me.
- Not defending. l'm just stating a fact.
194
00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:36,698
You didn't have trouble with the course.
195
00:14:36,775 --> 00:14:41,405
Well, OK. l did a little better than you.
So, big deal. Who cares?
196
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:45,280
l care, little ''Miss The Whole Base
ls Talking About You.''
197
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,813
l can't believe you're being such a baby.
Oh, me? l'm the baby?
198
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:54,485
- Whose turn is it to lower the flag?
- l don't know. Maybe we should do it, huh?
199
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:59,020
- You don't have to go, guys. Come on.
- Sorry, Tim. lt's not our war.
200
00:15:03,502 --> 00:15:06,835
Congratulations. You just did something
most countries can't do -
201
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,875
you got the Marines to retreat.
202
00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:12,308
They didn't leave because of me.
You got angry.
203
00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:16,075
Well, excuse me! Not only did you
beat me on the obstacle course,
204
00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:18,309
you defend me like l'm a five-year-old.
205
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:22,946
Well, you're acting like a five-year-old.
You're upset because l drove the tank well.
206
00:15:23,022 --> 00:15:27,982
No. l'm upset because you driving it well
made me look like an idiot!
207
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:33,594
Well, even if l hadn't been there you
still would've driven like an idiot.
208
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:45,210
That was a pretty quick game of Scrabble.
Now we're ready for Chinese Checkers.
209
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:49,145
Oh, sorry, Al. Mom says we can't
playing ''Chinese Checkers'' before bed.
210
00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:52,377
Makes us too hyper.
211
00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:56,651
All right. Well, if conventional games
don't tickle your fancy,
212
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:59,987
l have a board game
that you have never seen.
213
00:16:00,826 --> 00:16:03,522
l invented this myself.
214
00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:08,191
lt is the prototype for
what could become a national craze.
215
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:13,961
(Mark) ''The Tool Time Game''?
Awesome!
216
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:17,475
(# theme music)
217
00:16:19,411 --> 00:16:24,747
- How do you play?
- Well, you have your choice of figures.
218
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:30,449
You can be Heidi. You can be Al.
219
00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:34,549
And you can be Tim in a body cast.
220
00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:38,055
- All right, l got Heidi.
- Al.
221
00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:40,724
Aw, man!
222
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:44,693
Now, the object of the game is
to finish your project
223
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:48,206
without having to call an ambulance.
224
00:16:48,273 --> 00:16:51,265
You can learn as you go along.
Mark, why don't you start us off?
225
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,834
OK. Start.
226
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,944
Two.
227
00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:02,545
''Tim makes bad joke about Al's mom.
Audience boos. Lose a turn.''
228
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:08,153
Mother loves that card.
229
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:12,822
- All right, it's my turn.
- That's right.
230
00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:16,628
Ooh, four.
231
00:17:19,271 --> 00:17:26,268
''Al's away at National Bingo Finals.
Tim hosts show alone and ratings drop.''
232
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:29,007
All right. My turn.
233
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:34,678
All right, here we go. Six, OK... five, six. All
234
00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:36,880
All right. Pick up a card.
235
00:17:36,955 --> 00:17:43,451
''Tim installs faulty wiring.
You're accidentally electrocuted.''
236
00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:58,969
You lose.
237
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:04,544
- Hey, Wilson.
- Well, hi-ho, neighbor.
238
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:07,585
- When did you get back from California?
- A few minutes ago.
239
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:13,614
- Mm, smells like ribs.
- Actually, l'm barbecuing some bulbs.
240
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:22,565
- Fluorescent or three-way?
- No, Tim. These are lily bulbs.
241
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:27,094
These are a dietary staple of
the Native Americans of Montana.
242
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:32,508
- How was your tank-driving expedition?
- A real kick in the lily bulbs.
243
00:18:32,578 --> 00:18:38,710
- What do you mean?
- Well, Jill and l both got to drive tanks.
244
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:42,083
And she has to act like a big shot by
not driving through a sign,
245
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:46,818
or shooting off a machine
gun, or crushing a couple of golf carts.
246
00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:50,055
Mm-mm-mm, she is such a show-off.
247
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,689
l didn't even want her going with me.
248
00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:55,324
Well, traditionally, driving tanks is a man's
domain.
249
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,927
Yeah, man's domain. Oh, yeah.
250
00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:02,838
To the best of my knowledge, women in
the service aren't allowed to drive tanks.
251
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:08,369
- Yeah, no women drivers. Oh, no.
- Which makes it all the more incredible
252
00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:10,438
that Jill accomplished what she did.
253
00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:14,384
Yeah, that's all the more... huh?
254
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:18,412
Well, you did compliment her on
her tank-driving expertise?
255
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:22,790
How can you take her side?
By her tagging along, she ruined my day.
256
00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:27,730
Well, maybe you ruined her day by
not acknowledging her accomplishment.
257
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:31,428
Well, maybe you ruined my day by
pointing that out.
258
00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:37,667
- Thanks, Al!
- (boys) Thank you, Al! 'Night. Bye.
259
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:40,337
- So how was it? How was the weekend?
- Oh, the best.
260
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,437
Al let us stay up
and watch monster movies.
261
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:47,417
And he made us popcorn just dripping
with butter. Oh, ho, ho, ho...
262
00:19:47,486 --> 00:19:50,683
Yeah. He even separated the unpopped
kernels for us.
263
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:54,692
Well, l guess l'm never gonna be half
the mother Al is.
264
00:19:57,129 --> 00:20:02,431
- Hey, boys.
- Dad? How come you didn't marry Al?
265
00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:06,437
Well, to be honest with you,
l thought about it.
266
00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:10,100
But l just couldn't handle the thought of him
giving birth to my children.
267
00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:13,508
Little babies with beards
and flannel diapers. lck!
268
00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:15,979
So, when you were driving
the tank, how did it go?
269
00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:19,884
Ooh, the tank stuff!
Wait till l tell you...
270
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:22,318
We should talk about
your mom's experience first.
271
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:25,584
Great. We talked about it at the base.
We talked about it on the plane.
272
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:30,185
They let her drive one, too.
And she was awesome.
273
00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:31,559
- (Randy) You're kidding.
- No.
274
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:34,121
- That's awesome!
- lt is great. She drove it like a pro.
275
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:37,327
First woman to drive a tank.
You should be proud of her.
276
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:42,237
As a matter of fact, the first four million
l'm getting, l'm buying a tank for her.
277
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:45,834
Never worry about finding
a parking place in her life.
278
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:48,778
- Cool.
- All right. Did you guys shoot the little...?
279
00:20:48,847 --> 00:20:50,906
(overlapping)
280
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:54,510
Wait, wait, wait! Put your stuff
away and we'll talk about this at dinner.
281
00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:57,282
- Hustle up. Hustle up.
- No.
282
00:21:00,292 --> 00:21:02,123
That was really nice.
Thank you.
283
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:06,255
Well, it would've been a lot nicer
if l'd said it earlier.
284
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:08,891
l got thrown for a loop
when l found out l was married to
285
00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:11,367
General George Patton...
286
00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:15,501
and l was (imitating Gomer Pyle)
Gomer Pyle.
287
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:19,066
Shazam! Shazam! Shazam!
288
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:22,409
Well, golly, Sergeant Carter!
289
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:30,052
- ...across the desert was great.
- Dad, how did you do at the Marine base?
290
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:33,421
Yeah, Dad. You told us about Mom,
but you never told us how you did.
291
00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:39,692
Let's put it this way the Marines said no
one's ever driven a tank like your old man.
292
00:21:41,066 --> 00:21:44,627
- You were that good, huh?
- l don't want to brag.
293
00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:47,069
But l was in my element, guys.
294
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:51,940
Machines, Marines, latrines
and lots and lots of beans.
295
00:21:52,010 --> 00:21:54,274
1 500 horsepower sitting behind me.
296
00:21:54,346 --> 00:21:58,544
l'm the master of that thing.
Oh! Ho-ho-ho-ho!
297
00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:00,847
My only regret?
You guys weren't there to see it.
298
00:22:00,919 --> 00:22:05,788
Actually, Dad, you know, we can see
it. The Marines made a tape for Mom.
299
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:12,190
- You can't look at that. That's top-secret!
- Oh, yeah? Really?
300
00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:15,324
Give it back.
301
00:22:16,305 --> 00:22:22,699
-= www.SubtitleDB.org =-
27737
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.