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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,681 --> 00:00:15,707 Planet Express delivery company roll call! 2 00:00:15,818 --> 00:00:18,446 - Captain Turanga Leela ! - Here! 3 00:00:18,554 --> 00:00:21,887 Delivery boy, first class, Philip J. Fry! 4 00:00:22,725 --> 00:00:23,692 Here! 5 00:00:23,792 --> 00:00:27,523 Assistant Manager of Sales, Bender Bending Rodriguez! 6 00:00:27,630 --> 00:00:28,927 Here! 7 00:00:29,331 --> 00:00:31,424 Cerveza, por favor. 8 00:00:32,334 --> 00:00:34,859 Long-term intern, Amy Wong. 9 00:00:34,970 --> 00:00:36,028 Here! 10 00:00:37,439 --> 00:00:40,670 Company physician, Dr. John A. Zoidberg. 11 00:00:41,043 --> 00:00:42,704 I thought it was mine. 12 00:00:42,811 --> 00:00:46,042 Bureaucrat Grade 34, Hermes Conrad 13 00:00:46,849 --> 00:00:48,282 is who I am. 14 00:00:48,384 --> 00:00:52,878 And now I am proud to present the owner and founder of Planet Express, 15 00:00:52,988 --> 00:00:56,219 Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth! 16 00:00:57,493 --> 00:00:58,721 You're all fired. 17 00:00:59,895 --> 00:01:01,157 Sweet bongo of the Congo! 18 00:01:01,263 --> 00:01:04,198 In fact, you were fired two years ago. 19 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:07,360 That's when we were shut down by the delivery network. 20 00:01:10,339 --> 00:01:14,002 Yes, I'm afraid the brainless drones who run the network 21 00:01:14,109 --> 00:01:15,736 canceled our license. 22 00:01:20,082 --> 00:01:21,071 We were canceled? 23 00:01:21,183 --> 00:01:24,243 Oh, it's terrible. Just terrible. 24 00:01:24,353 --> 00:01:28,084 Well, clear out your desks and move along. Chop-chop. 25 00:01:30,125 --> 00:01:32,685 Yes? I see. 26 00:01:34,530 --> 00:01:36,157 Good news, everyone! 27 00:01:36,265 --> 00:01:41,328 Those asinine morons who canceled us were themselves fired for incompetence. 28 00:01:43,205 --> 00:01:47,699 And not just fired, but beaten up, too. And pretty badly. 29 00:01:49,878 --> 00:01:53,644 In fact, most of them died from their injuries. 30 00:01:56,719 --> 00:02:01,122 And then they were ground up into a fine pink powder. 31 00:02:01,223 --> 00:02:04,818 - Why? - Oh, it's got a million and one uses. 32 00:02:07,963 --> 00:02:09,760 That soothes the fire. 33 00:02:10,032 --> 00:02:12,762 So what does this mean for us and our many fans? 34 00:02:12,868 --> 00:02:15,336 It means we're back on the air! 35 00:02:16,605 --> 00:02:21,338 Yes, flying on the air in our mighty spaceship. 36 00:02:23,846 --> 00:02:24,813 We're back, baby! 37 00:02:26,548 --> 00:02:27,981 Party! 38 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,518 Go, go, go! 39 00:02:39,628 --> 00:02:41,186 Lower, lawn mower! 40 00:02:41,296 --> 00:02:44,527 What's the matter, robot? You got a rod up your spine? 41 00:02:44,633 --> 00:02:47,067 Yes, I do. That's how I'm built. 42 00:02:47,169 --> 00:02:48,830 - Hooray. - Way to bend it! 43 00:02:48,937 --> 00:02:51,098 You're the greatest, Bender! 44 00:02:51,206 --> 00:02:55,006 In Jamaica, we got 10-story office buildings lower than that. 45 00:02:55,110 --> 00:02:57,442 Let's see you beat it, Rasta man. 46 00:03:00,983 --> 00:03:04,578 Let's make it interesting. Fetch down one of them sabers. 47 00:03:07,423 --> 00:03:10,483 Oh, flexible. That would go good up my spine. 48 00:03:17,332 --> 00:03:18,458 Lower. 49 00:03:20,669 --> 00:03:21,863 The fat guy wins! 50 00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:22,994 Go, Hermes! 51 00:03:24,206 --> 00:03:26,936 That's why they call me 11-inch Conrad. 52 00:03:30,179 --> 00:03:31,168 Oh, no. 53 00:04:49,725 --> 00:04:52,023 Can you save Hermes, Dr. Goodensexy? 54 00:04:52,127 --> 00:04:54,527 I told you, my name is Dr. Cahill. 55 00:04:54,630 --> 00:04:57,724 Figures I'd get mangled while the blond bimbo's on duty. 56 00:04:57,833 --> 00:04:59,323 I'm a doctor, sir. 57 00:04:59,434 --> 00:05:01,800 The mere fact that I'm blond and have a breathy voice, 58 00:05:01,904 --> 00:05:05,635 full sensual lips and a steaming hot body doesn't make me a bimbo. 59 00:05:05,741 --> 00:05:07,333 Tell me about it. 60 00:05:07,442 --> 00:05:10,878 I think we've all learned a thing or two about sexual stereotypes 61 00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:15,075 while my head's slowly dying 'cause I'm not in a jar yet, you bimbo! 62 00:05:15,184 --> 00:05:18,085 Oh, right. Ditzy-witzy! 63 00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:20,348 Lars, got another jar job! 64 00:05:21,657 --> 00:05:24,820 Oh, sorry, Doctor. I was disinfecting Courtney Love... 65 00:05:24,927 --> 00:05:26,656 Oh, hello. 66 00:05:26,762 --> 00:05:29,162 What are you looking at? Is it the eye? 67 00:05:29,264 --> 00:05:30,458 Guilty as charged. 68 00:05:30,566 --> 00:05:32,693 It's a nice looking eye, and there's plenty of it. 69 00:05:32,801 --> 00:05:36,328 - Oh. Do I know you? - Apparently not. 70 00:05:36,438 --> 00:05:39,805 - Hi. I'm Lars. - Oh. I'm Leela. 71 00:05:39,908 --> 00:05:42,103 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to be met. 72 00:05:43,345 --> 00:05:46,542 Pick up ladies on your own time, you shiny-headed goat. 73 00:05:46,648 --> 00:05:51,085 Sir, you're just a little enraged 'cause you're dying. Up and away! 74 00:05:53,789 --> 00:05:56,121 Lars is so flirting with you. 75 00:05:56,625 --> 00:05:59,458 He is so not. He's just being polite. 76 00:05:59,561 --> 00:06:01,825 Who does he think he is, being polite to you? 77 00:06:01,930 --> 00:06:05,661 - You want me to beat him up? - No. Stop being so immature. 78 00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:08,396 I'll show her who's immature. 79 00:06:10,172 --> 00:06:13,608 "Charles de Gaulle"? Never heard of you. 80 00:06:13,709 --> 00:06:15,904 I freed France from the Nazis and... 81 00:06:17,312 --> 00:06:20,440 Hey, Leela. I'm some French guy. 82 00:06:20,549 --> 00:06:22,608 Rock that Frenchman, baby! 83 00:06:23,318 --> 00:06:26,515 Oh, my poor little love pirate of the Caribbean. 84 00:06:29,191 --> 00:06:31,022 There, there, wife. Everything will be all... 85 00:06:31,126 --> 00:06:33,617 Okay, look, Hermes, we got to think of the boy. 86 00:06:33,729 --> 00:06:36,095 - He needs a daddy. - He has a daddy. 87 00:06:36,198 --> 00:06:38,462 No, he got two half-daddies. 88 00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:41,900 - Will his body be all right? - Yes, but it may take a few days. 89 00:06:42,004 --> 00:06:43,767 No, not soon enough. 90 00:06:43,872 --> 00:06:46,432 Come, Dwight, let's find you a handsome new father. 91 00:06:46,541 --> 00:06:48,304 LaBarbara, no! 92 00:06:50,078 --> 00:06:53,514 It's okay, Hermes. We're all here for you. 93 00:06:53,615 --> 00:06:55,606 Good news, everyone! 94 00:06:55,717 --> 00:06:59,175 We've got a delivery to the nude beach planet. 95 00:07:00,756 --> 00:07:02,053 So long, jerk. 96 00:07:11,433 --> 00:07:15,301 It feels great to be back at the wheel after two long years. 97 00:07:15,404 --> 00:07:17,338 That's not the wheel. 98 00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:38,592 It's nice out. 99 00:07:44,766 --> 00:07:47,132 "You must be at least this naked"? 100 00:07:47,235 --> 00:07:48,930 How much nakeder could you be? 101 00:07:49,037 --> 00:07:50,595 Watch and learn. 102 00:08:06,188 --> 00:08:08,679 - You know, it's funny. - What? 103 00:08:08,790 --> 00:08:10,189 Your wiener! 104 00:08:12,661 --> 00:08:16,495 Well, I'm going in the water to prune up a bit before I strut. 105 00:08:16,598 --> 00:08:18,327 - Who's with me? - I'm in! 106 00:08:18,433 --> 00:08:19,400 - I'm in. - Yeah, I'll go. 107 00:08:19,501 --> 00:08:20,490 You guys go ahead. 108 00:08:20,602 --> 00:08:23,867 I gotta find the bartender and deliver this box of barstool softener. 109 00:08:28,744 --> 00:08:30,041 Here's your package, sir. 110 00:08:30,145 --> 00:08:33,603 - Why are you talking to my penis? - Oh, sorry. Sign here. 111 00:08:33,715 --> 00:08:36,206 - Mind if I use your pen? - Well, that's not a... 112 00:08:37,419 --> 00:08:38,477 And initial here. 113 00:08:40,355 --> 00:08:42,550 Thank you for using Planet Express. 114 00:08:42,657 --> 00:08:46,320 Hey, Fry, I didn't know you had a tattoo of Bender on your ass. 115 00:08:46,428 --> 00:08:47,793 Me, neither. 116 00:08:48,864 --> 00:08:50,695 You got a tattoo of me? 117 00:08:50,799 --> 00:08:53,393 Neat. It's like looking in a smelly mirror. 118 00:08:53,502 --> 00:08:56,471 So he's got a little ink. Big whoop. 119 00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:07,039 Sweet photons. 120 00:09:07,149 --> 00:09:11,210 I don't know if you're waves or particles, but you go down smooth. 121 00:09:11,319 --> 00:09:13,651 Sir, would you care to sign our petition? 122 00:09:13,755 --> 00:09:18,749 I support and oppose many things, but not strongly enough to pick up a pen. 123 00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:19,849 That's just what the guys 124 00:09:19,961 --> 00:09:22,521 who oppose the things you support want you to do. 125 00:09:22,631 --> 00:09:24,997 Really? Down with those guys! 126 00:09:26,368 --> 00:09:29,201 And we'll need your e-mail address. 127 00:09:30,105 --> 00:09:32,733 They say you shouldn't give out your e-mail address. 128 00:09:32,841 --> 00:09:36,004 Right. That's just what those same guys say. 129 00:09:36,111 --> 00:09:37,510 Them again? 130 00:09:43,552 --> 00:09:46,988 I don't quite understand what this petition's about. 131 00:09:48,056 --> 00:09:49,284 Animals? 132 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,860 And your e-mail address. 133 00:09:53,962 --> 00:09:58,626 - You won't send me any spam, will you? - Oh, no, no, no, no. 134 00:09:58,733 --> 00:09:59,995 Asterisk. 135 00:10:00,902 --> 00:10:02,699 You've got spam. 136 00:10:03,205 --> 00:10:05,639 Spam, spam, junk. 137 00:10:06,441 --> 00:10:09,535 The very last pygmy rhino is going extinct? 138 00:10:09,644 --> 00:10:12,078 Unless it gets my credit card number? 139 00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:14,148 Spam. Spam. 140 00:10:15,016 --> 00:10:18,747 "Hi. How are you?" Oh, that must be from Kiffy. 141 00:10:18,854 --> 00:10:20,321 Hi, how are you? 142 00:10:20,422 --> 00:10:22,947 Low, low prices on erectile dysfunction remedies, 143 00:10:23,058 --> 00:10:26,221 sleeping pills, old-person drugs, and antidepressants. 144 00:10:26,328 --> 00:10:27,886 Antidepressants? 145 00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:30,423 Well, I certainly don't want to get depressed. 146 00:10:30,532 --> 00:10:32,227 Please enter credit card number. 147 00:10:32,334 --> 00:10:33,767 Is cash okay? 148 00:10:37,038 --> 00:10:39,598 Porn. Porn. Free porn. 149 00:10:42,244 --> 00:10:44,769 I find that rather hard to believe. 150 00:10:52,487 --> 00:10:53,920 "Top-quality." 151 00:10:58,727 --> 00:11:01,093 I'm waiting for porn over here. 152 00:11:01,630 --> 00:11:03,598 Oh, yeah, come on, baby. 153 00:11:12,841 --> 00:11:14,274 Friends, friends! 154 00:11:14,376 --> 00:11:18,642 His Majesty Prince Adisaraki O. Zoidberg of Nigeria died. 155 00:11:18,747 --> 00:11:20,214 That's so sad. 156 00:11:22,117 --> 00:11:24,847 When will those antidepressants get here? 157 00:11:24,953 --> 00:11:26,318 Wait, there's more. 158 00:11:26,421 --> 00:11:30,084 According to this e-mail, I, Zoidberg, am his next of kin. 159 00:11:30,191 --> 00:11:33,649 Once I wire some good-faith money to an overseas bank account, 160 00:11:33,762 --> 00:11:38,290 I'll inherit his kingdom, his canoe, and his plump young wife. 161 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,892 You dumb stumps. Don't you realize you're being scammed? 162 00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:43,800 That is low, Hermes. 163 00:11:43,905 --> 00:11:45,532 Just because you don't have a body, 164 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,541 you don't want anyone else to be prince of Nigeria. 165 00:11:48,643 --> 00:11:51,578 Well, try and stop me from wiring that money. 166 00:11:54,215 --> 00:11:55,705 What's going on here? 167 00:11:55,817 --> 00:11:58,615 According to my illegal key logging software, 168 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:02,247 you've all been giving out personal information over the Internet. 169 00:12:02,357 --> 00:12:05,155 If Hermes were here, he'd fire you all. 170 00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:07,160 - I am here. - Quiet, you. 171 00:12:07,262 --> 00:12:11,892 In his absence, I'm calling a mandatory company security seminar. 172 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,433 To the mandatorium ! 173 00:12:16,137 --> 00:12:19,538 Now, it's not hard to spot a phony Internet come-on. 174 00:12:19,641 --> 00:12:23,600 "Get rich quick x7 q"? Phony. 175 00:12:23,979 --> 00:12:27,745 "Lose weight with space parasites"? Phony. 176 00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:33,153 What's this? I've won the Spanish National Lottery? 177 00:12:33,254 --> 00:12:34,653 No, it's a scam ! 178 00:12:34,756 --> 00:12:39,921 Yes, yes, a scam. My goodness, I'm rich! 179 00:12:40,028 --> 00:12:43,259 And to think I didn't even know I had a ticket. 180 00:12:43,365 --> 00:12:46,493 I just need to wire some collateral to collect the winnings. 181 00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:49,627 Professor, stop! You're giving away personal information! 182 00:12:49,738 --> 00:12:54,937 I can afford to give away anything I want. I've won the Spanish National Lottery. 183 00:12:55,043 --> 00:12:56,203 - No, don't! - It's a scam ! 184 00:12:56,311 --> 00:12:58,506 Why won't anybody listen to me? 185 00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:03,346 And my mother's maiden name and her bank account numbers and... 186 00:13:03,451 --> 00:13:04,611 There! 187 00:13:05,153 --> 00:13:08,953 I'm rich. Rich. Rich! 188 00:13:10,191 --> 00:13:12,625 That must be my $400 now. 189 00:13:14,195 --> 00:13:18,598 Hello. Or should I say, "Buenos d�as"? 190 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,861 Hi. We own your company now. 191 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,031 I'll deal with these guys. 192 00:13:27,742 --> 00:13:28,834 Welcome, boss. 193 00:13:32,447 --> 00:13:33,436 Guess I was wrong. 194 00:13:33,548 --> 00:13:36,381 There was a robot stupid enough to download the obedience virus. 195 00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:39,044 I sure was. Make a hole, chumps. 196 00:13:43,925 --> 00:13:46,792 Presenting our new masters! 197 00:13:58,173 --> 00:14:01,301 Where shall I put these auto-dialers, kind master? 198 00:14:01,409 --> 00:14:04,276 Between the password crank and the spamjaculator. 199 00:14:04,379 --> 00:14:06,813 Come on! We've got a whole planet to scam. 200 00:14:06,915 --> 00:14:08,473 And bring me some more Gummi Fungus! 201 00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:16,056 We don't have to stand here and take abuse from a gross nerd. 202 00:14:16,157 --> 00:14:17,317 - Yeah! - Yeah! 203 00:14:24,399 --> 00:14:26,458 Now get back to work, you turkeys. 204 00:14:26,568 --> 00:14:28,160 Planet Express is still in business. 205 00:14:28,269 --> 00:14:32,103 We've got crap loads of quote-unquote merchandise to deliver. 206 00:14:34,442 --> 00:14:35,966 Ship them out, Your Highness. 207 00:14:36,077 --> 00:14:38,307 Finally, some respect. 208 00:14:41,783 --> 00:14:43,717 I feel a little better. 209 00:14:48,456 --> 00:14:51,391 Those marvelous scammers sure scammed us, huh? 210 00:14:51,493 --> 00:14:54,189 How can you just sit there kissing the aliens' butt flaps? 211 00:14:54,295 --> 00:14:57,389 Don't you realize you are totally under their control? 212 00:14:57,499 --> 00:15:00,764 Of course I realize it. Does that mean I can't enjoy it? 213 00:15:02,003 --> 00:15:03,800 Boy, were we suckers. 214 00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:06,698 Greetings, earthlings. 215 00:15:06,808 --> 00:15:11,006 Oh, hooray. It's handsome Lars and his fabulous jars. 216 00:15:11,112 --> 00:15:12,773 Hello, everyone who isn't Leela. 217 00:15:12,881 --> 00:15:14,906 And a special hello to everyone else. 218 00:15:16,117 --> 00:15:18,142 Shut your lockers and get to class. 219 00:15:18,253 --> 00:15:21,552 - How's my body doing? - Oh, I'm afraid it's behind schedule. 220 00:15:21,656 --> 00:15:23,817 The museum got tricked into giving all its funding 221 00:15:23,925 --> 00:15:26,655 to something called the Scamming Sciences Institute. 222 00:15:27,962 --> 00:15:29,429 It's a fake place. 223 00:15:29,531 --> 00:15:32,762 Cut to the chase, baldy. When do I get my me back? 224 00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:35,427 Well, it could be months, or even years. 225 00:15:35,537 --> 00:15:38,404 No! That body's the cornerstone of my marriage. 226 00:15:38,506 --> 00:15:40,167 What's LaBarbara going to do? 227 00:15:41,376 --> 00:15:43,173 She's going to go back to her first husband. 228 00:15:43,278 --> 00:15:46,270 Barbados Slim? I love that guy. 229 00:15:48,049 --> 00:15:49,880 Everybody loves Slim. 230 00:15:49,984 --> 00:15:52,282 He's the only man to ever win Olympic gold medals 231 00:15:52,387 --> 00:15:54,412 in both limbo and sex. 232 00:15:54,522 --> 00:15:56,183 Well, maybe I should get going. 233 00:15:56,291 --> 00:16:00,284 - Yes, I'll show you out. - No, Leela will show him out. 234 00:16:00,395 --> 00:16:02,522 No, Leela will show you out. 235 00:16:02,897 --> 00:16:04,194 Me. Leela. 236 00:16:05,433 --> 00:16:07,765 So your friend, Fry, seems nice. 237 00:16:07,869 --> 00:16:09,427 - Are you and he dating? - Nope. 238 00:16:09,537 --> 00:16:12,665 Good, because I was maybe thinking of asking you out for dinner. 239 00:16:13,875 --> 00:16:17,834 I'll start maybe thinking about saying, "Sure, when?" 240 00:16:17,946 --> 00:16:19,709 Let me maybe give it some thought. 241 00:16:21,049 --> 00:16:23,040 - Tomorrow at 8:00? - Okay. 242 00:16:27,488 --> 00:16:31,982 It's no fair. I've loved Leela since the day I came to the future. 243 00:16:32,093 --> 00:16:34,527 Did I show you the macaroni valentine I made for her? 244 00:16:34,629 --> 00:16:35,618 Yes. 245 00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:37,129 Look at it again. 246 00:16:37,232 --> 00:16:40,827 I know she thinks I'm immature, but someday I won't be. 247 00:16:40,935 --> 00:16:44,166 And deep down in my heart, I know we'll end up together. 248 00:16:44,272 --> 00:16:46,604 It's all there in the macaroni. 249 00:16:46,708 --> 00:16:48,369 Lars asked me out. 250 00:16:55,683 --> 00:16:59,813 - What are you doing, wonderful masters? - Sprunjing for information. 251 00:17:07,629 --> 00:17:10,530 Oh! There's something here. I can sprunje it. 252 00:17:11,132 --> 00:17:12,963 Robot, tear it open! 253 00:17:13,067 --> 00:17:15,160 Goody, goody, goody, goody! 254 00:17:20,208 --> 00:17:24,201 - What's that thing on your neck? - Checking out my sprunjer, huh? 255 00:17:24,312 --> 00:17:26,143 I guess. What does it do? 256 00:17:26,247 --> 00:17:29,182 It's a special sense organ our species possesses. 257 00:17:29,284 --> 00:17:31,479 It engorges in the presence of... 258 00:17:32,754 --> 00:17:34,187 Information. 259 00:17:34,289 --> 00:17:35,347 Lucky you. 260 00:17:35,456 --> 00:17:39,586 All I have is a gland that gives off foul odors when I'm bored. 261 00:17:46,401 --> 00:17:47,800 Hey, look, a safe! 262 00:17:47,902 --> 00:17:50,962 That's my safe. I call keep-offsies. 263 00:17:51,072 --> 00:17:52,699 No callsies! Open it! 264 00:17:57,812 --> 00:18:01,248 It's a gold mine. Tax forms, Social Security cards. 265 00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:04,610 Combination hair, blood and stool samples. 266 00:18:08,456 --> 00:18:11,687 I don't get it. How can you say Lars is more mature than me? 267 00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:14,819 Well, for one thing, his checkbook doesn't have the Hulk on it. 268 00:18:20,268 --> 00:18:22,896 - Who are you? - Philip J. Fry. 269 00:18:23,004 --> 00:18:27,134 Social Security Number 03280810? Stool type, P-negative? 270 00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:28,640 That's right. 271 00:18:28,743 --> 00:18:31,610 I've never detected so much information before. 272 00:18:31,713 --> 00:18:33,806 I think it may be a Level 87 code. 273 00:18:35,083 --> 00:18:37,517 Level 87? Can it be? 274 00:18:37,618 --> 00:18:41,714 I thought it was only a legend, but the sprunjer never lies. 275 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,823 - It's in his pants! - What the hell are you talking about? 276 00:18:59,707 --> 00:19:00,901 Faster, faster! 277 00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:03,637 I'm science-ing as fast as I can. 278 00:19:12,186 --> 00:19:14,313 What do you say, folks? Hot or not? 279 00:19:14,422 --> 00:19:17,721 I'm not seeing any information. Do more things! 280 00:19:24,298 --> 00:19:27,096 You, boogerbot, read the code or I'll shoot this guy. 281 00:19:27,201 --> 00:19:30,762 - Who the hell is he? - I'm Scruffy, the janitor. 282 00:19:30,872 --> 00:19:32,396 Hang on, Scruffy! 283 00:19:32,507 --> 00:19:35,738 "Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero, zero, one, zero, zero, one, zero, 284 00:19:35,843 --> 00:19:38,710 "zero, one, one, one, one, zero, one, zero, zero, zero, zero, 285 00:19:38,813 --> 00:19:42,180 "one, one, zero, one, one, zero, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one." 286 00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:00,458 A time sphere. 287 00:20:00,568 --> 00:20:02,763 Naked brothers, we have sprunjed 288 00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:05,930 upon the universal machine language time code. 289 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,338 The key to time travel. 290 00:20:10,044 --> 00:20:13,036 What's the secret of time travel doing on Fry's ass? 291 00:20:13,147 --> 00:20:14,774 It was bound to be somewhere. 292 00:20:14,882 --> 00:20:19,114 Beyond this shimmering portal lie all the glories of history. 293 00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:20,448 And we can steal them ! 294 00:20:20,555 --> 00:20:24,423 We just go to the past and take stuff with our superior weapons! 295 00:20:29,697 --> 00:20:31,255 Stop, you fools. 296 00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:34,233 - What's going on? - What is happening? 297 00:20:34,335 --> 00:20:36,769 Nibbler, you... You can talk? 298 00:20:36,871 --> 00:20:39,965 I can do more than talk. I can pontificate. 299 00:20:40,074 --> 00:20:42,235 You must not use the code of codes. 300 00:20:42,343 --> 00:20:46,040 With each and every use, you risk tearing the universe asunder. 301 00:20:46,147 --> 00:20:48,877 Oh, he's so adorable. 302 00:20:49,050 --> 00:20:50,779 The poodle-monkey may be right. 303 00:20:50,885 --> 00:20:54,321 The legend warns that the code is powerful and dangerous. 304 00:20:54,422 --> 00:20:56,014 My God. 305 00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,684 We'd better use it only three or four times. Six, max. 306 00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:01,284 But even a single use could shatter the universe. 307 00:21:01,395 --> 00:21:03,420 Got it. Two or three times. 308 00:21:03,531 --> 00:21:05,863 I see I have no choice. 309 00:21:06,567 --> 00:21:08,762 Nibblonians, attack! 310 00:21:16,077 --> 00:21:17,874 Hey! That tickles. 311 00:21:22,550 --> 00:21:24,108 And the pitch! 312 00:21:25,553 --> 00:21:27,418 Mayday, mayday! 313 00:21:37,064 --> 00:21:38,691 Hey! Hey! Hey! 314 00:21:41,135 --> 00:21:42,966 Scamper! 315 00:21:48,910 --> 00:21:54,678 Alas, our kitten-class attack ships were no match for their mighty chairs. 316 00:21:54,782 --> 00:21:57,546 The universe is doomed. Doomed! 317 00:21:57,652 --> 00:21:59,313 Can I pull up my pants now? 318 00:21:59,420 --> 00:22:01,513 Doomed! 319 00:22:06,694 --> 00:22:08,525 Stand back, you wing wangs. 320 00:22:08,629 --> 00:22:12,622 I'm gonna try out this time sphere with a quick test drive to yesterday. 321 00:22:12,733 --> 00:22:17,864 Bushwa ! You can't go mucking about in the past without creating paradoxes. 322 00:22:18,039 --> 00:22:21,975 I'm afraid he can. It's a paradox-correcting time code. 323 00:22:22,076 --> 00:22:26,206 It all works perfectly. Except when it rips open the universe! 324 00:22:26,314 --> 00:22:28,009 Don't do it. I beg you. 325 00:22:31,118 --> 00:22:33,780 Yesterday, please. And make it snappy! 326 00:22:36,624 --> 00:22:38,114 - Hello! - Howdy! 327 00:22:38,226 --> 00:22:39,454 - Say, what the... - That's weird. 328 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,495 There was one, but now there's two. 329 00:22:42,597 --> 00:22:44,531 Nothing gets past you, eagle eye. 330 00:22:44,632 --> 00:22:48,329 I went back to last night and met the "me" of that time for a drink. 331 00:22:48,436 --> 00:22:51,428 One thing led to another, and we ended up at my place. 332 00:22:51,539 --> 00:22:54,337 Or should I say our place? 333 00:22:57,178 --> 00:22:59,146 Oh, come on, you bunch of prudes! 334 00:22:59,247 --> 00:23:03,013 This isn't merely revolting, it's impossible to boot. 335 00:23:03,117 --> 00:23:05,915 I know a paradox when I see one. 336 00:23:12,226 --> 00:23:15,662 Paradox resolved. Someone get a mop! 337 00:23:26,073 --> 00:23:27,301 You're looking well, Pops. 338 00:23:27,408 --> 00:23:29,569 How can you look me in the eye-and-eye and say that? 339 00:23:29,677 --> 00:23:33,477 I'm nothing but a brain. A useless filthy brain! 340 00:23:33,581 --> 00:23:35,742 You forgot lice-infested. 341 00:23:35,850 --> 00:23:38,148 I didn't forget, I just chose not to... 342 00:23:38,386 --> 00:23:39,876 Barbados Slim? 343 00:23:41,422 --> 00:23:42,616 What are you doing here? 344 00:23:42,723 --> 00:23:45,089 Is there something going on between you two? 345 00:23:45,192 --> 00:23:46,682 Oh, no. No, no, no. 346 00:23:46,794 --> 00:23:51,231 We just happened to run into each other shortly after your accident. 347 00:23:51,332 --> 00:23:53,527 And every night since then. 348 00:23:55,136 --> 00:23:56,194 You're so crazy. 349 00:23:56,304 --> 00:23:58,101 Woman, no! 350 00:23:58,205 --> 00:24:02,107 Oh, who am I kidding? Without my body, I'm a nobody. 351 00:24:02,209 --> 00:24:08,478 I'm sorry, Hermes. But look at Barbados. You can't argue with those luscious pecs. 352 00:24:08,582 --> 00:24:09,947 No, I can't. 353 00:24:10,051 --> 00:24:13,077 But I can ask him to stop wiggling them in my face. 354 00:24:13,187 --> 00:24:16,884 I'm not wiggling them. They do that by themselves. 355 00:24:20,328 --> 00:24:23,957 I think I'll go back in time and steal the Liberty Bell before it cracked. 356 00:24:24,065 --> 00:24:27,762 - Or is the crack the valuable part? - I don't know, you naked crook! 357 00:24:27,868 --> 00:24:30,962 We have a problem, Nudar. It's a one-way time code. 358 00:24:31,072 --> 00:24:34,735 It can take us to the past, but it can't bring us back to the present! 359 00:24:36,577 --> 00:24:39,671 Masters, if I might? Let me do the stealing. 360 00:24:39,780 --> 00:24:43,807 I'll go to the past and snatch everything I can get my greasy mitts on. 361 00:24:43,918 --> 00:24:47,581 Then, as a robot, I can just wait it out for a few centuries 362 00:24:47,688 --> 00:24:50,020 in the limestone cavern beneath this building. 363 00:24:50,124 --> 00:24:52,524 Oh, it'll be ever so much fun! 364 00:24:52,626 --> 00:24:54,025 Hey, that's perfect. 365 00:24:54,128 --> 00:24:56,961 We sit back and let dumb-dumb here do the stealing. 366 00:24:57,064 --> 00:24:59,123 Dumb-dumb away! 367 00:24:59,767 --> 00:25:01,394 Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero... 368 00:25:04,472 --> 00:25:05,700 Yup! 369 00:25:09,143 --> 00:25:10,701 The Mona Lisa! 370 00:25:10,811 --> 00:25:12,574 Sorry, it's not quite finished. 371 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,079 Da Vinci give you any trouble? 372 00:25:14,181 --> 00:25:17,548 Let's just say he may not make it to The Last Supper. 373 00:25:18,886 --> 00:25:22,447 Preposterous twaddlecock! Time travel is impossible. 374 00:25:22,556 --> 00:25:24,285 But, Professor, you time-traveled yourself. 375 00:25:24,392 --> 00:25:26,326 Remember, when we went back to Roswell? 376 00:25:26,427 --> 00:25:27,860 That proves nothing. 377 00:25:27,962 --> 00:25:31,193 And, furthermore, you'd think I'd remember a thing like that. 378 00:25:31,298 --> 00:25:33,232 Plus, who are you, anyway? 379 00:25:33,334 --> 00:25:37,896 - Man, this is fun on a bun! Here I go again! - Oh, no, you don't! 380 00:25:38,005 --> 00:25:38,972 Zero, zero, one, one... 381 00:25:47,114 --> 00:25:49,639 Scarab, forearm, bird, bird, bird. 382 00:25:54,355 --> 00:25:56,323 No, it's just me, Bender. 383 00:25:58,826 --> 00:26:00,817 I must tell you, Hedonismbot, 384 00:26:00,928 --> 00:26:05,092 I hate to sell my doomsday devices to a private collector. 385 00:26:05,199 --> 00:26:09,192 But with my business stolen, I have to make ends meet. 386 00:26:09,303 --> 00:26:10,702 You will be careful? 387 00:26:10,805 --> 00:26:15,606 I shan't touch them till I've had Jambi lock the absinthe and ether away. 388 00:26:15,709 --> 00:26:20,669 - Oh! What does this one do? - That one kills everything everywhere. 389 00:26:21,315 --> 00:26:24,216 How delightful. And this one? 390 00:26:24,318 --> 00:26:27,151 Sir, the spheroboom is not for sale. 391 00:26:29,356 --> 00:26:31,722 It's my sentimental favorite. 392 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:37,126 No need to explain. I, too, have known unconventional love. 393 00:26:37,231 --> 00:26:40,291 Perhaps you and I and Jambi could get together 394 00:26:40,401 --> 00:26:42,130 and compare notes sometime, eh? 395 00:26:46,540 --> 00:26:50,943 Resulting in peace between East and West Coast rappers... 396 00:26:51,445 --> 00:26:52,742 Good God! 397 00:26:53,147 --> 00:26:56,776 I accept this Nobel Peace Prize not just for myself, 398 00:26:56,884 --> 00:26:59,853 but for crime robots everywhere. Skoal! 399 00:27:10,831 --> 00:27:12,958 Not so neutral now, are you, Sweden? 400 00:27:27,181 --> 00:27:29,706 Be honest with me. Does my eye look monstery? 401 00:27:29,817 --> 00:27:32,081 I don't want to look monstery for my date with Lars. 402 00:27:32,186 --> 00:27:34,120 At least a monster has a body. 403 00:27:34,221 --> 00:27:38,487 What I wouldn't give for Wolf Man's torso, or any of the Groovie Goolies. 404 00:27:39,126 --> 00:27:43,085 I think I'll wear that slutty dress I've been saving for Easter. 405 00:27:44,064 --> 00:27:47,932 I'd like to punch Lars right in his ruggedly good-Iooking face. 406 00:27:53,307 --> 00:27:56,743 Like all rich people, we're gonna need weapons to shoot poor people. 407 00:27:56,844 --> 00:27:59,108 - In self-defense? - Yes, that, too. 408 00:27:59,213 --> 00:28:02,114 Bender, go steal the doomsday device chained to the professor's wrist. 409 00:28:02,216 --> 00:28:03,308 Never! 410 00:28:03,751 --> 00:28:07,448 I'm kidding. You guys know I have to do whatever you say. 411 00:28:07,555 --> 00:28:11,651 - Here, swap this for the real one. - The old switcheroo. 412 00:28:11,759 --> 00:28:13,659 Yes, but don't wake him. 413 00:28:13,761 --> 00:28:16,127 You'll need jeweler's tools and foot-cup silencers. 414 00:28:16,230 --> 00:28:18,824 Hey. I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, 415 00:28:18,933 --> 00:28:21,834 so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do. 416 00:28:21,936 --> 00:28:24,871 Bender knows when to use finesse. 417 00:28:26,273 --> 00:28:29,140 - Here you go. - Put it in the safe, clanky. 418 00:28:34,915 --> 00:28:36,610 It's the damnedest thing. 419 00:28:36,717 --> 00:28:40,312 There I was in the dumpster, enjoying a moldy Fudgsicle, 420 00:28:40,421 --> 00:28:43,788 when suddenly your hand flies over and slaps me in the toches. 421 00:28:43,891 --> 00:28:46,587 Yes, well, these things happen. 422 00:28:46,694 --> 00:28:50,255 Fortunately, the spheroboom is still safe. 423 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:56,902 Scammed? Me? Sweetheart? 424 00:29:00,741 --> 00:29:02,936 You do a nice hand job, Zoidberg. 425 00:29:03,043 --> 00:29:07,275 Tell me, if I could find an undamaged body, could you recapitate me? 426 00:29:07,381 --> 00:29:09,008 Hermes, I'm a surgeon. 427 00:29:09,116 --> 00:29:10,413 When I see two body parts, 428 00:29:10,517 --> 00:29:13,247 I sew them together and see what happens. 429 00:29:14,989 --> 00:29:16,854 All I'm asking is for you to go back in time 430 00:29:16,957 --> 00:29:19,551 to when I still had my body and bring it back for me. 431 00:29:19,660 --> 00:29:22,959 - What do I do with your old head? - I don't care in the slightest. 432 00:29:23,063 --> 00:29:24,223 Can do! 433 00:29:27,568 --> 00:29:30,230 - Come on, man! - Hermes, please! 434 00:29:30,337 --> 00:29:32,737 You can't hurry a delicate operation like this. 435 00:29:39,413 --> 00:29:40,937 What are those? 436 00:29:41,582 --> 00:29:43,641 You incompetent crab! 437 00:29:43,751 --> 00:29:46,948 I thought you were happy. Your tail was wagging. 438 00:29:55,496 --> 00:29:59,728 I believe this paradoxicality equation to be unsolvable. 439 00:29:59,833 --> 00:30:02,358 Ergo, time travel is impossible. 440 00:30:02,469 --> 00:30:04,528 But I can't quite prove it, Bubblegum. 441 00:30:04,638 --> 00:30:08,335 Perhaps you and your razzle-dazzle Globetrotter calculus could... 442 00:30:08,442 --> 00:30:10,876 Looks pretty damn solvable to me, Farnsy. 443 00:30:10,978 --> 00:30:15,108 Sweet Clyde, use variation of parameters and expand the Wronskian. 444 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:28,052 Shizz, baby. 445 00:30:28,162 --> 00:30:31,859 So paradox-free time travel is possible after all. 446 00:30:31,965 --> 00:30:34,763 Right on. But dig this multiplicand here. 447 00:30:34,868 --> 00:30:39,134 The "doom field"? That must be what corrects the paradoxes. 448 00:30:39,239 --> 00:30:41,366 But that mama rises exponentially. 449 00:30:41,475 --> 00:30:44,410 It could rupture the very fabric of causality. 450 00:30:44,511 --> 00:30:47,139 That's what I've been trying to tell you. 451 00:30:51,652 --> 00:30:53,813 Hermes! You got your body back. 452 00:30:55,322 --> 00:30:57,483 Yes, but not the original. 453 00:30:57,591 --> 00:30:59,889 Bender went back in time and picked up a copy. 454 00:30:59,993 --> 00:31:02,587 A copy? Funky cold medina ! 455 00:31:02,696 --> 00:31:05,426 According to this equation, a time-travel duplicate 456 00:31:05,532 --> 00:31:09,127 results in a complex denominator in the causality ratio. 457 00:31:09,236 --> 00:31:13,002 - Oh, snap! You know what that means. - I can guess. 458 00:31:13,774 --> 00:31:15,571 Actually, I can't guess. 459 00:31:15,676 --> 00:31:18,406 Prof, you got a doom meter in this lab? 460 00:31:21,615 --> 00:31:23,276 Good Lord, Bubblegum. 461 00:31:23,383 --> 00:31:28,013 The duplicate body is emitting doom at 10 times the background level. 462 00:31:28,122 --> 00:31:31,922 I thought as much. A duplicate body is always doomed. 463 00:31:32,025 --> 00:31:33,549 It's just a matter of time. 464 00:31:33,660 --> 00:31:37,653 I don't care. I just need it long enough to bird-dog in and win LaBarbara back. 465 00:31:37,765 --> 00:31:42,202 - Best bird-dog fast, my brother. - That's the way I bird-dog best. 466 00:31:47,574 --> 00:31:50,008 Drink, quick! I can't balance it much longer. 467 00:31:50,110 --> 00:31:51,577 Wait, I... 468 00:31:52,045 --> 00:31:53,205 Yes! 469 00:31:53,313 --> 00:31:55,440 Oh, this is so much fun, Lars. 470 00:31:55,549 --> 00:31:57,244 Most men are intimidated by the fact 471 00:31:57,351 --> 00:31:59,444 that I could kill them with a flick of my wrist. 472 00:31:59,553 --> 00:32:02,454 Well, not me, 'cause if you do, you'll be stuck with the check. 473 00:32:03,924 --> 00:32:06,415 Folks, you care for a little fresh ground Executive? 474 00:32:06,527 --> 00:32:08,119 Please. 475 00:32:16,770 --> 00:32:20,536 Don't get excited, kids. This thing's got heart-shaped nostrils. 476 00:32:20,641 --> 00:32:21,835 Want to see it make a star? 477 00:32:21,942 --> 00:32:22,931 - No! - No! 478 00:33:33,513 --> 00:33:37,574 Here's your Gutenberg Bible, masters. Plus, the Colonel's secret recipe. 479 00:33:39,186 --> 00:33:43,145 Well, that does it. We've got every valuable object in history. 480 00:33:46,493 --> 00:33:49,587 Now that I'm rich, I suddenly care if the universe gets destroyed. 481 00:33:49,696 --> 00:33:52,028 We can't use that dangerous time code again. 482 00:33:52,132 --> 00:33:54,066 Blank it from the robot's memory. 483 00:33:55,168 --> 00:33:58,194 I'll vaporize this guy so his ass doesn't fall into the wrong hands. 484 00:33:59,373 --> 00:34:01,068 Why don't you just remove my tattoo? 485 00:34:01,174 --> 00:34:03,404 Nice try, but you might have memorized it. 486 00:34:03,510 --> 00:34:04,499 No, I mightn't. 487 00:34:04,611 --> 00:34:07,011 I can't even remember my mother's maiden name. 488 00:34:07,114 --> 00:34:08,638 It's Gleissner. 489 00:34:10,951 --> 00:34:13,886 Stupid naked aliens. Stupid Lars. 490 00:34:13,987 --> 00:34:15,614 I hate the future. 491 00:34:21,728 --> 00:34:24,993 Man, that cube root was a real buzzer-beater, Clyde. 492 00:34:25,632 --> 00:34:30,467 Zero, one, one, one, zero, zero, one, one! 493 00:34:32,606 --> 00:34:33,630 Blast him ! 494 00:34:38,512 --> 00:34:41,140 You missed. Oh, great master. 495 00:34:49,890 --> 00:34:51,255 Hello, 2000. 496 00:34:51,758 --> 00:34:53,089 I'm home. 497 00:34:53,193 --> 00:34:55,491 Happy New Year, naked weirdo! 498 00:34:56,163 --> 00:34:57,824 Happy New Year. 499 00:35:03,003 --> 00:35:05,369 Well, we'll never know where the ass guy went, 500 00:35:05,472 --> 00:35:08,498 and since we can't kill him, I say live and let live. 501 00:35:08,842 --> 00:35:10,469 That's sweet, boss. 502 00:35:10,577 --> 00:35:13,239 Fry'll be nice and cozy back in the year 2000. 503 00:35:13,347 --> 00:35:15,872 What? How do you know he went to the year 2000? 504 00:35:15,983 --> 00:35:17,848 That's where he always goes. 505 00:35:18,518 --> 00:35:22,113 Better play it safe. Go there a little earlier and wait for him. 506 00:35:22,222 --> 00:35:24,281 You know what to do. 507 00:35:24,391 --> 00:35:28,691 You want me to concludify him like some sort of dispatcherator? 508 00:35:28,795 --> 00:35:31,457 - Yes, and don't forget to terminate him. - Got it. 509 00:35:31,565 --> 00:35:35,262 Preparing to terminate Philip Fry. 510 00:35:35,369 --> 00:35:37,360 What's with the doofy sunglasses? 511 00:35:37,471 --> 00:35:39,564 It's really bright in the past. 512 00:35:39,673 --> 00:35:41,903 Zero, zero, one, one, zero... 513 00:35:50,217 --> 00:35:53,118 Okay, Fry. Come to papa. 514 00:35:55,455 --> 00:35:56,945 Man, I'm bored. 515 00:36:06,199 --> 00:36:07,894 Hey, there you are. 516 00:36:09,870 --> 00:36:13,306 Oh, wait. That's Fry before he goes to the future. 517 00:36:13,407 --> 00:36:16,843 I'm waiting for the one who comes back from the future. 518 00:36:17,544 --> 00:36:18,943 Jeez, this is confusing. 519 00:36:19,379 --> 00:36:22,507 And I bet it's gonna get a lot more confusing. 520 00:36:25,118 --> 00:36:27,450 That cheap beer really goes right through you. 521 00:36:27,554 --> 00:36:30,114 For the first time ever, I gotta use the bathroom. 522 00:36:30,223 --> 00:36:31,884 But if I leave, I might miss Fry. 523 00:36:33,093 --> 00:36:34,390 Unless... 524 00:36:35,162 --> 00:36:37,153 Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero... 525 00:36:40,834 --> 00:36:43,667 And I bet it's gonna get a lot more confusing. 526 00:36:44,971 --> 00:36:48,065 Hi, I'm you from 19 seconds in the future. 527 00:36:48,175 --> 00:36:50,973 Stay here and wait for Fry while I go to the bathroom. 528 00:36:51,078 --> 00:36:52,409 Okay, boss. 529 00:36:52,512 --> 00:36:54,605 After I kill Fry, you're next. 530 00:36:54,714 --> 00:36:56,341 - What? - Nothing. 531 00:36:59,386 --> 00:37:01,081 What the... Who are you? 532 00:37:01,188 --> 00:37:02,951 I'm Bender from way at the end. 533 00:37:03,056 --> 00:37:06,321 I came back to put this rub-on time code on Fry's ass. 534 00:37:06,426 --> 00:37:08,326 So what are you now, a butler? 535 00:37:08,728 --> 00:37:10,992 Spot of tea, please, jerk wad. 536 00:37:11,098 --> 00:37:13,623 It's called class, you yokel. 537 00:37:13,733 --> 00:37:17,999 Now if you'll excuse me, I have a buttocks to tattoo. 538 00:37:28,715 --> 00:37:30,080 Hello, 2000. 539 00:37:30,584 --> 00:37:31,846 I'm home. 540 00:37:32,018 --> 00:37:34,282 Happy New Year, naked weirdo! 541 00:37:34,855 --> 00:37:36,447 Happy New Year. 542 00:37:39,092 --> 00:37:41,253 Hasta la vista, meat bag. 543 00:37:42,062 --> 00:37:45,520 Bender? What are you doing? It's me, your best friend. 544 00:37:46,099 --> 00:37:48,533 Must obey orders. 545 00:37:49,736 --> 00:37:51,931 Mustn't kill friend. 546 00:37:53,340 --> 00:37:56,468 Badly want to urinate! 547 00:37:57,077 --> 00:38:01,810 - What's happening? Are you urinating? - Entering auto-destruct sequence. 548 00:38:01,915 --> 00:38:04,816 Crap, I hate auto-destruct sequence. 549 00:38:04,918 --> 00:38:07,409 Explosion in seven, six... 550 00:38:10,023 --> 00:38:12,651 It'll be a cold day in hell, my friend. 551 00:38:12,826 --> 00:38:16,626 Five... Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things. 552 00:38:23,503 --> 00:38:24,561 Hey! 553 00:38:28,508 --> 00:38:31,102 So the game of cat and mouse begins, huh? 554 00:38:31,211 --> 00:38:32,906 Let us match wits. 555 00:38:34,247 --> 00:38:36,943 Oh, how am I supposed to find him? 556 00:38:37,050 --> 00:38:41,009 All those times he blabbed on and on about his life in the 20th century, 557 00:38:41,121 --> 00:38:44,522 if only I had paid the slightest bit of attention. 558 00:38:44,624 --> 00:38:46,854 Oh, well, guess I better go kill myself. 559 00:38:54,467 --> 00:38:55,866 Hello, bartender? 560 00:38:55,969 --> 00:38:59,461 I have thought it over, and far from being a fat pig, 561 00:38:59,573 --> 00:39:02,701 you are very nice, and I would like another drink... 562 00:39:02,809 --> 00:39:04,538 Take a barf, drunky. 563 00:39:05,545 --> 00:39:08,810 Okay, suicide booth, give me your best shot. 564 00:39:09,616 --> 00:39:12,551 Electrocution, please. Side order of poison. 565 00:39:16,223 --> 00:39:19,488 Hello? Kill me, you stupid machine. 566 00:39:20,227 --> 00:39:23,355 What the..."Local calls 50 cents"? 567 00:39:24,264 --> 00:39:27,028 It's a street-corner telephone parlor. 568 00:39:27,133 --> 00:39:30,398 What kind of horrible suicide-free time is this? 569 00:39:31,004 --> 00:39:32,301 Wait a minute. 570 00:39:32,505 --> 00:39:36,703 Maybe this handy encyclopedia of humans will help me track Fry down. 571 00:39:38,345 --> 00:39:40,006 Fry, Fry, Fry. 572 00:39:40,580 --> 00:39:42,207 One of these Frys must be Fry. 573 00:39:43,083 --> 00:39:47,281 Look out, Philip Fry, 'cause I got a little present for you. 574 00:39:47,387 --> 00:39:50,288 My name is Philip Fry. Where's my present? 575 00:39:51,925 --> 00:39:56,089 Hang on a second, Fry. I don't remember you being that ugly. 576 00:39:56,196 --> 00:39:58,721 No, no, I've always been this ugly. 577 00:39:59,733 --> 00:40:01,496 Let me see your ass. 578 00:40:03,069 --> 00:40:05,902 No tattoo. Okay, you can go. 579 00:40:06,006 --> 00:40:07,473 Farewell, sir. 580 00:40:14,681 --> 00:40:16,410 Say your prayers, Fry. 581 00:40:16,516 --> 00:40:19,747 This isn't Fry. I kicked Fry out two hours ago. 582 00:40:19,853 --> 00:40:21,980 This is my new boyfriend... 583 00:40:22,555 --> 00:40:26,082 - Constantine. - Really? That's a dumb name. 584 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:30,987 Could be a trick. Let me see your ass, Constantine. 585 00:40:32,198 --> 00:40:35,133 Oh, nice. Now I see why she left Fry. 586 00:40:43,109 --> 00:40:46,306 Okay, you're still clean. I mean, metaphorically. 587 00:40:47,681 --> 00:40:51,583 He must have left the city. Man, this could take all day. 588 00:41:00,527 --> 00:41:02,586 You guys wouldn't know a chad if it was taped to your... 589 00:41:02,696 --> 00:41:05,290 - The returns are looking good, Mr. Gore. - Thanks, Phil. 590 00:41:05,398 --> 00:41:08,561 Here's to four years of clean air, clean government, 591 00:41:08,668 --> 00:41:11,603 and amazing new technologies such as the... 592 00:41:11,705 --> 00:41:13,036 Robot! 593 00:41:13,139 --> 00:41:14,470 Philip Fry? 594 00:41:25,051 --> 00:41:27,349 12 years passed. 595 00:41:27,454 --> 00:41:29,752 Then, this. 596 00:41:45,472 --> 00:41:47,133 Philip J. Fry? 597 00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:50,368 Phil, some kind of trash can here to see you. 598 00:41:50,477 --> 00:41:51,842 He's coming. 599 00:41:52,679 --> 00:41:54,806 Are you made of Tinkertoy? 600 00:41:55,715 --> 00:41:58,707 It's been 12 years. Maybe I'm getting taller. 601 00:41:58,818 --> 00:42:00,445 You're not getting smarter. 602 00:42:00,553 --> 00:42:03,852 Listen, pipsqueak, are you Philip J. Fry or not? 603 00:42:03,957 --> 00:42:06,653 'Cause if you are, I'm here to kill you. 604 00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:08,728 I'd like to see you try. 605 00:42:10,964 --> 00:42:13,057 You want Uncle Phil. 606 00:42:13,166 --> 00:42:15,862 He went to the North Pole on a fishing boat. 607 00:42:15,969 --> 00:42:18,870 The North Pole! I was just there. 608 00:42:23,543 --> 00:42:27,274 One ticket to the North Pole, please. Broom-closet class. 609 00:42:28,114 --> 00:42:29,138 Fry? 610 00:42:30,850 --> 00:42:32,784 If only I could be sure. 611 00:42:35,989 --> 00:42:37,320 It is Fry. 612 00:42:37,424 --> 00:42:40,188 I'd recognize me, and hence him, anywhere. 613 00:42:46,199 --> 00:42:47,188 Follow that guy. 614 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,890 There's an extra 100 in it for you 615 00:42:49,002 --> 00:42:51,197 if you follow him so closely that you run him over. 616 00:42:51,304 --> 00:42:52,271 Yes, sir. 617 00:43:20,500 --> 00:43:25,301 Dang! That $100 could have bought me one gallon of gas. 618 00:43:40,720 --> 00:43:44,315 Oh, I lost him. People will call me a failure. 619 00:43:46,826 --> 00:43:51,354 Others, however, will call me the world's sexiest killing machine, 620 00:43:51,464 --> 00:43:53,227 who's fun at parties. 621 00:43:55,034 --> 00:43:57,366 Fry, old buddy. It's me, Bender. 622 00:44:06,613 --> 00:44:08,342 I totally killed him ! 623 00:44:13,953 --> 00:44:16,786 Oh, God, what have I done? 624 00:44:21,594 --> 00:44:25,121 Preparing to terminate Philip Fry. 625 00:44:25,231 --> 00:44:27,096 What's with the doofy sunglasses? 626 00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,532 It's really bright in the past. 627 00:44:29,636 --> 00:44:31,866 Zero, zero, one, one, zero... 628 00:44:37,076 --> 00:44:38,839 Mission accomplished. 629 00:44:38,945 --> 00:44:40,105 Fry is dead? 630 00:44:40,213 --> 00:44:42,374 No other robot could've done it. 631 00:44:42,482 --> 00:44:45,383 It took 12 years of tireless stalking, 632 00:44:45,485 --> 00:44:48,750 but I hunted down and killed my best friend. 633 00:44:50,223 --> 00:44:51,713 I'm the greatest! 634 00:44:52,926 --> 00:44:55,827 Time code and obedience virus erased. 635 00:44:56,362 --> 00:44:58,830 Also, 50 terabytes of porn. 636 00:44:58,932 --> 00:45:00,365 Hey! 637 00:45:00,466 --> 00:45:03,196 You've got no code, no porn, and you're ugly. 638 00:45:03,303 --> 00:45:04,736 Let's dance! 639 00:45:05,138 --> 00:45:07,106 Nuh-nuh-nuh Nuh-nuh-nuh 640 00:45:15,748 --> 00:45:17,739 Now, it's true, we'll all miss Fry. 641 00:45:17,850 --> 00:45:20,216 He was the only one of you who never struck me! 642 00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:23,847 And we'll never see his boyish smile and hair horn again. 643 00:45:23,957 --> 00:45:25,948 But I bet he went back to his own time. 644 00:45:26,059 --> 00:45:29,495 I'm sure he was very happy and lived to a ripe old age. 645 00:45:29,596 --> 00:45:31,120 He wasn't and he didn't! 646 00:45:32,599 --> 00:45:37,764 Struggling alone against incredible odds, I, Bender, managed to kill him. 647 00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,871 I blew him to mush like a midget in a microwave. 648 00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,344 Oh, don't blame yourself, Bender. 649 00:45:49,449 --> 00:45:52,646 I don't blame myself. I blame all of you! 650 00:45:52,752 --> 00:45:55,312 Us? How can you possibly blame us? 651 00:45:55,421 --> 00:45:58,584 It ain't easy. It just proves how great I am. 652 00:45:59,792 --> 00:46:00,850 Fry! 653 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:04,020 I'd give anything to un-murder you! 654 00:46:04,130 --> 00:46:06,189 - Did someone call me? - No! 655 00:46:06,833 --> 00:46:07,993 Fry? 656 00:46:11,471 --> 00:46:15,305 But I killed you in 2012. Unless... 657 00:46:16,009 --> 00:46:17,601 Nope, he's not a zombie. 658 00:46:19,312 --> 00:46:22,440 - Welcome back, Fry. - Thank you, Lars. 659 00:46:22,548 --> 00:46:24,948 I... I'll see you later, honey. 660 00:46:26,519 --> 00:46:30,478 So tell us, Fry, if Bender killed you centuries ago, 661 00:46:30,590 --> 00:46:33,718 how in Satan's glorious name did you return? 662 00:46:33,826 --> 00:46:37,125 Oh, it's an astonishing tale of incredibleness. 663 00:46:37,230 --> 00:46:40,791 It all began when I went back in time. 664 00:46:41,734 --> 00:46:42,701 Duh! 665 00:46:50,209 --> 00:46:51,403 Oh, hey, Mr. Panucci. 666 00:46:51,511 --> 00:46:53,638 I'm back from that delivery to the cryogenic lab. 667 00:46:53,746 --> 00:46:57,238 Great, I'll put you on the cover of Big Whoop magazine. 668 00:46:57,784 --> 00:47:01,880 - I'm starving. Can I have a slice? - Help yourself. Cash up front. 669 00:47:03,923 --> 00:47:06,255 This note is legal tender. 670 00:47:08,628 --> 00:47:11,324 Unfortunately, I had no money from that era. 671 00:47:11,431 --> 00:47:15,060 But that's when it hit me. I knew where to find free pizza. 672 00:47:20,273 --> 00:47:21,501 Ice cold. 673 00:47:21,607 --> 00:47:23,097 That's when it hit me again. 674 00:47:23,209 --> 00:47:26,235 But an hour ago, this pizza's still lukewarm ! 675 00:47:27,313 --> 00:47:29,372 "Zero, zero, one, one, zero..." 676 00:47:36,489 --> 00:47:38,787 Explosion in seven, six... 677 00:47:41,461 --> 00:47:44,225 It'll be a cold day in hell, my friend. 678 00:47:44,330 --> 00:47:47,993 Five... Hey, I'm supposed to be the one saying cool things. 679 00:47:49,302 --> 00:47:52,294 - Nice kick, me. - Thanks. What are you doing here? 680 00:47:52,405 --> 00:47:55,203 One hour from now, I travel back in time for free pizza. 681 00:47:55,308 --> 00:47:57,572 But Nibbler said not to use the time code. 682 00:47:57,677 --> 00:48:00,646 Fine, Mr. Responsible, don't use the code. 683 00:48:02,181 --> 00:48:04,046 That pizza sure was good. 684 00:48:04,150 --> 00:48:06,015 - You pig. - Whatever. 685 00:48:06,619 --> 00:48:09,383 That's when it hit me yet a third time. 686 00:48:09,489 --> 00:48:10,547 You idiot! 687 00:48:10,656 --> 00:48:14,092 Frozen me's still got a wallet full of old-timey money. 688 00:48:16,896 --> 00:48:19,091 Yuck! I touched my own butt! 689 00:48:37,950 --> 00:48:40,851 So I unfroze 10 minutes ago, and I walked over here, 690 00:48:40,953 --> 00:48:43,581 and then it was now, and then I don't know what happened. 691 00:48:43,689 --> 00:48:45,213 Well, I'm glad you're alive, 692 00:48:45,324 --> 00:48:47,758 but I don't want people to say I'm incompetent, 693 00:48:47,860 --> 00:48:50,385 so I better kill you again. Hold still. 694 00:48:50,496 --> 00:48:53,021 Bender! Stop killing for a minute! 695 00:48:53,132 --> 00:48:56,033 The Fry you murdered was doomed anyway. 696 00:48:56,135 --> 00:48:57,261 See? 697 00:48:58,571 --> 00:48:59,902 What have you got there? Numbers? 698 00:49:00,006 --> 00:49:03,169 Here, when the time code duplicates a living thing, 699 00:49:03,276 --> 00:49:05,836 the copy is always doomed. 700 00:49:05,945 --> 00:49:08,505 And that includes flabby Jamaican pot-bellies. 701 00:49:08,614 --> 00:49:10,343 Kiss my front-butt. 702 00:49:11,017 --> 00:49:14,043 So my copy lived 12 years before Bender murdered him? 703 00:49:14,153 --> 00:49:15,620 Brutally murdered. 704 00:49:15,721 --> 00:49:17,712 I wonder what his life was like. 705 00:49:18,691 --> 00:49:20,784 I guess we'll never know. 706 00:49:20,893 --> 00:49:22,292 Or will we? 707 00:49:23,663 --> 00:49:24,721 Nope. 708 00:49:24,831 --> 00:49:28,130 They won't know. But you will. 709 00:49:28,534 --> 00:49:29,831 Lucky you. 710 00:49:34,140 --> 00:49:35,368 Oh, hey, Mr. Panucci. 711 00:49:35,474 --> 00:49:37,601 I'm back from that delivery to the cryogenic lab. 712 00:49:37,710 --> 00:49:41,111 I know. I read about it in Big Whoop magazine. 713 00:49:41,214 --> 00:49:45,844 So my girlfriend kicked me out. Can I rent the upstairs storage room? 714 00:49:45,952 --> 00:49:48,250 The upstairs storage? 715 00:49:49,989 --> 00:49:51,183 I like you, kid. 716 00:49:51,290 --> 00:49:53,986 Your lousy life makes me feel good about myself. 717 00:49:54,093 --> 00:49:55,219 The room's yours. 718 00:49:55,328 --> 00:49:58,388 Here, take some rat spray for the meatball hamper. 719 00:50:45,144 --> 00:50:47,203 Happy day, man. Good to have you back. 720 00:50:47,313 --> 00:50:50,714 Indeed, but the scammers will soon sprunje the code again. 721 00:50:50,816 --> 00:50:54,411 We must remove the time tattoo at once, and as painlessly as possible. 722 00:50:59,792 --> 00:51:01,350 Hurry! They're coming! 723 00:51:03,996 --> 00:51:06,226 There, the code is gone. 724 00:51:06,332 --> 00:51:09,790 I saved the space-time continuum and 40�% of your rectum. 725 00:51:09,902 --> 00:51:11,870 - Yeah! - That's all you need. 726 00:51:12,571 --> 00:51:14,698 Oh, I sprunje code. 727 00:51:14,807 --> 00:51:17,935 Too late, Nudar. I've wiped Fry's butt clean. 728 00:51:19,412 --> 00:51:20,845 We'll see about that. 729 00:51:24,717 --> 00:51:27,618 Nothing, boss. We sprunjed his ass inside and out. 730 00:51:27,720 --> 00:51:31,178 The only information we found was a hair shaped like the number six. 731 00:51:31,290 --> 00:51:32,814 Give me that! 732 00:51:33,459 --> 00:51:37,293 Nine. All right, let him go. I guess the time code really is gone. 733 00:51:37,396 --> 00:51:38,385 Thank God. 734 00:51:38,497 --> 00:51:39,521 The present may stink, 735 00:51:39,632 --> 00:51:43,295 but at least now we can look forward to a better yesterday. 736 00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:51,298 I'm sorry, Leela, but I can't keep living in the past. 737 00:51:51,410 --> 00:51:53,139 By which I mean the future. 738 00:51:53,245 --> 00:51:54,303 I'll always love you, 739 00:51:54,413 --> 00:51:57,177 but I've got to move on and find my life's purpose. 740 00:51:57,283 --> 00:52:00,980 And that's how Bungles the monkey finally found a friend. 741 00:52:01,087 --> 00:52:02,315 I miss Morbo. 742 00:52:02,421 --> 00:52:05,049 And finally, tonight on The Late Cute Animal News, 743 00:52:05,157 --> 00:52:08,024 a story that will really tug your heartstrings 744 00:52:08,127 --> 00:52:11,153 way more than Bungles, the doll-raping monkey. 745 00:52:11,263 --> 00:52:15,290 It's the tale of lonely Leelu, the little orphan narwhal. 746 00:52:16,502 --> 00:52:18,936 Leelu is a rare toothed, female narwhal 747 00:52:19,038 --> 00:52:21,802 who got disoriented and washed up in Atlantic City, 748 00:52:21,907 --> 00:52:24,068 as we all do from time to time. 749 00:52:24,176 --> 00:52:27,475 But without a mother, she's lost the will to eat. 750 00:52:27,580 --> 00:52:29,309 Come on, take a sip. 751 00:52:31,951 --> 00:52:35,182 I know how to make things eat. Maybe this is my purpose in life. 752 00:52:37,456 --> 00:52:40,289 Hi, I'd like to apply for a job working with Leelu. 753 00:52:40,393 --> 00:52:41,655 Question number one. 754 00:52:41,761 --> 00:52:44,491 Do you have any experience working with marine mammals? 755 00:52:44,597 --> 00:52:47,828 - No, but I think they're pretty neat. - That answers question number two. 756 00:52:47,933 --> 00:52:48,922 Question number three. 757 00:52:49,035 --> 00:52:52,061 Do you know where the door is, or do you prefer to be kicked out? 758 00:52:52,171 --> 00:52:54,401 I don't know. I guess kicked out. 759 00:52:55,641 --> 00:52:56,767 Hiya, girl! 760 00:52:56,876 --> 00:52:59,071 My name's Fry, and I think you're a cutie, 761 00:52:59,178 --> 00:53:00,873 'cause I like things that have only one thing 762 00:53:00,980 --> 00:53:02,811 instead of two things. 763 00:53:05,017 --> 00:53:08,180 Holy mackerel! She's eating whole mackerel. 764 00:53:08,287 --> 00:53:11,381 I don't know what your secret is, but if you'll work for minimum wage, 765 00:53:11,490 --> 00:53:12,548 you can start tomorrow. 766 00:53:12,658 --> 00:53:15,422 If I work for less than minimum, can I start today? 767 00:53:15,528 --> 00:53:17,291 I don't see why not. 768 00:53:22,101 --> 00:53:26,037 In business news, the weak and gullible inhabitants of Earth 769 00:53:26,138 --> 00:53:28,698 were plunged into economic depression today 770 00:53:28,808 --> 00:53:32,471 as the scammer aliens finished stealing every item of value, 771 00:53:32,578 --> 00:53:35,172 including ownership of this station. 772 00:53:39,018 --> 00:53:42,920 Tough times, Earth chumps. We're repossessing your TV. 773 00:53:43,022 --> 00:53:45,183 Seems you can't afford it now that you're unemployed. 774 00:53:45,291 --> 00:53:46,280 We're not... 775 00:53:57,736 --> 00:54:01,536 I love the Head Museum at night. It's where I come to be alone. 776 00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,039 - Hi, Lars! - Hi, Lars! 777 00:54:03,776 --> 00:54:06,040 Lars and la belle Leela. 778 00:54:06,145 --> 00:54:09,376 I trust you brought some haute cuisine for an old Frenchman? 779 00:54:09,482 --> 00:54:12,679 Your favorite, General. Torgo's Executive Powder. 780 00:54:15,788 --> 00:54:17,483 Mmm ! Magnifique! 781 00:54:18,023 --> 00:54:21,481 Come on, Leela. Let me show you the Hall of Screaming Skulls. 782 00:54:25,798 --> 00:54:27,390 It's so romantic. 783 00:54:29,435 --> 00:54:31,767 What's wrong? Is the screaming depressing you? 784 00:54:31,871 --> 00:54:37,468 It's just... My life is changing so fast. I don't know who I am anymore. 785 00:54:37,576 --> 00:54:39,009 I know who you are. 786 00:54:39,111 --> 00:54:42,478 You're the woman I've been waiting for all my life. 787 00:54:48,454 --> 00:54:49,751 Let's go to my place. 788 00:54:55,661 --> 00:54:57,595 I like what you've done with it. 789 00:55:00,933 --> 00:55:03,094 And that would be us, dump cakes. 790 00:55:03,202 --> 00:55:04,260 We're buying the whole city 791 00:55:04,370 --> 00:55:06,600 and turning it into a private panda hunting reserve. 792 00:55:06,705 --> 00:55:07,865 Nuh-nuh-nuh 793 00:55:07,973 --> 00:55:10,305 There aren't any pandas in New New York. 794 00:55:10,409 --> 00:55:12,070 Back it up, Sal! 795 00:55:29,495 --> 00:55:33,591 Look at us, living like trash-eating bums in an alley now. 796 00:55:34,033 --> 00:55:35,830 Yes, now. 797 00:55:35,935 --> 00:55:39,701 And on Xmas eve, the most wonderful night of the... 798 00:55:40,039 --> 00:55:41,028 Oops. 799 00:55:41,140 --> 00:55:43,768 Well, at least we have each other. 800 00:55:43,876 --> 00:55:46,902 So it truly is the worst Xmas ever. 801 00:55:49,114 --> 00:55:50,308 Santa ! 802 00:55:51,483 --> 00:55:53,974 The Planet Express crew. 803 00:55:54,086 --> 00:55:59,114 According to my list, you've all been very naughty. 804 00:55:59,225 --> 00:56:02,319 I'll be back for you after I collect my milk and cookies 805 00:56:02,428 --> 00:56:04,328 from starving orphans. 806 00:56:06,332 --> 00:56:09,233 That's it. I don't see how things could get any worse. 807 00:56:09,335 --> 00:56:10,495 We could sing. 808 00:56:10,603 --> 00:56:12,298 I'd rather kill myself. 809 00:56:12,404 --> 00:56:13,996 Why not do both? 810 00:56:14,106 --> 00:56:15,733 Oh. Very well. 811 00:56:19,745 --> 00:56:22,839 I may as well jump 812 00:56:22,948 --> 00:56:24,745 Those sleazy naked scammers 813 00:56:24,850 --> 00:56:27,011 Made me look like a chump 814 00:56:27,119 --> 00:56:31,078 They robbed me of my dignity and most of my stuff 815 00:56:31,190 --> 00:56:33,055 Lars brought me candy 816 00:56:33,158 --> 00:56:35,490 Cram it down and shut the hell up 817 00:56:35,594 --> 00:56:38,358 I can't compete with that 818 00:56:39,531 --> 00:56:43,160 He's Barbados Slim and I'm Jamaican fat 819 00:56:43,269 --> 00:56:47,035 Who would choose a backwards corpse with lice in his hair? 820 00:56:47,139 --> 00:56:49,130 Lars says I'm dreamy 821 00:56:49,241 --> 00:56:50,640 Who the hell cares? 822 00:56:50,743 --> 00:56:54,474 Oh, won't somebody shoot her, please 823 00:56:54,580 --> 00:56:57,572 And put her out of our misery? 824 00:56:57,683 --> 00:56:58,877 That's my cue. 825 00:57:12,231 --> 00:57:13,630 Oh, my word. 826 00:57:15,801 --> 00:57:17,792 Lars makes me puke 827 00:57:19,104 --> 00:57:22,665 I bet she'd love me, too If I was a baldheaded kook 828 00:57:22,775 --> 00:57:24,606 - Hey, guess what, guys! - What? 829 00:57:24,710 --> 00:57:27,110 While we were huddled in fear 830 00:57:27,212 --> 00:57:28,975 Lars popped the question 831 00:57:29,081 --> 00:57:31,049 - Congratulations! - Mazel tov! 832 00:57:31,150 --> 00:57:33,015 May stars in heaven bless your love! 833 00:57:33,118 --> 00:57:34,517 I think I'm gonna cry 834 00:57:34,620 --> 00:57:38,249 'cause it's an extra happy Xmas this year 835 00:57:38,624 --> 00:57:40,819 Now could things get any worse? 836 00:57:41,226 --> 00:57:43,387 Ho! Ho! Ho! 837 00:57:48,067 --> 00:57:49,056 Stop screaming. 838 00:57:49,168 --> 00:57:50,999 That's just what the bomb wants us to do. 839 00:57:51,103 --> 00:57:52,468 I say do what it tells us. 840 00:57:53,872 --> 00:57:57,399 Don't worry, a bomb in a case is just like a head in a jar. 841 00:58:02,648 --> 00:58:06,379 Oh, Lars, not blowing us up makes me love you even more. 842 00:58:06,485 --> 00:58:08,214 Lifesaving goody-goody. 843 00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:11,721 Well, now that death has been staved off momentarily, 844 00:58:11,824 --> 00:58:13,883 let me be the first to say 845 00:58:13,992 --> 00:58:17,155 congratulations, Leela and Lars. 846 00:58:18,931 --> 00:58:20,330 - Maid of honor! - Maid of honor! 847 00:58:20,432 --> 00:58:21,490 Oh. 848 00:58:22,067 --> 00:58:24,126 - Oh, that's wonderful. - I'm so happy. 849 00:58:24,236 --> 00:58:28,502 I could make you happy, too, if only you'd give me a chance. 850 00:58:35,047 --> 00:58:36,275 En garde! 851 00:58:57,169 --> 00:58:59,501 You've done a wonderful job, Fry. 852 00:58:59,605 --> 00:59:00,629 When you first started, 853 00:59:00,739 --> 00:59:02,764 I thought she'd be dead within a narweek, 854 00:59:02,875 --> 00:59:04,433 which is six days, I believe. 855 00:59:04,543 --> 00:59:06,010 No, Leelu's a champ. 856 00:59:06,111 --> 00:59:09,205 She just needed someone to show her how to eat. 857 00:59:10,482 --> 00:59:12,473 Now that's the kind of whale behavioral science 858 00:59:12,584 --> 00:59:14,916 they don't teach you in whale behavioral science class. 859 00:59:15,020 --> 00:59:16,681 So what's up, Dr. Shlivinowitz? 860 00:59:17,990 --> 00:59:20,185 This is a little hard for me to say, Fry. 861 00:59:20,459 --> 00:59:21,721 You see, it's... 862 00:59:21,827 --> 00:59:24,887 It's time we released Leelu back into the wild. 863 00:59:25,597 --> 00:59:28,464 I'm sorry, but the decision is final. 864 00:59:28,567 --> 00:59:31,695 Plus, we need the tank for the Loch Ness monster. 865 00:59:32,871 --> 00:59:34,099 But that turned out to be a log 866 00:59:34,206 --> 00:59:36,731 with a Halloween mask stapled to it. 867 00:59:37,810 --> 00:59:40,278 Yes, well, it still draws a crowd. 868 00:59:41,313 --> 00:59:45,044 I can't let this happen. She'll never be happy without me. 869 00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,225 I know you're broke and homeless, 870 00:59:57,329 --> 01:00:00,059 but you still want a swank wedding reception. 871 01:00:00,165 --> 01:00:03,601 So I whipped you up some real nice budget appetizers. 872 01:00:04,970 --> 01:00:06,028 I can keep these down. 873 01:00:06,138 --> 01:00:08,936 Okay. That's a big yes on the crud puffs. 874 01:00:09,041 --> 01:00:11,032 Try the shlimp cocktail. 875 01:00:11,810 --> 01:00:14,108 There must be some way I can stop this wedding. 876 01:00:14,213 --> 01:00:17,944 - What if I steal the wedding ring? - Already taken care of. 877 01:00:18,050 --> 01:00:20,348 You think that will be enough to stop the ceremony? 878 01:00:20,452 --> 01:00:24,388 Nope. I pulled the old switcheroo, so they won't even know the difference. 879 01:00:24,490 --> 01:00:25,582 Wait a minute. 880 01:00:25,691 --> 01:00:28,717 I think the copy I made actually cost more than this! 881 01:00:28,827 --> 01:00:30,761 Cheap, lousy Lars. 882 01:00:30,863 --> 01:00:34,924 Actually, this is extremely nice. But I really went all-out on the copy. 883 01:00:35,033 --> 01:00:36,933 It was sort of my gift to them. 884 01:00:38,136 --> 01:00:41,970 I can't let this happen. She'll never be happy without me. 885 01:00:48,413 --> 01:00:50,938 It's not fair. We need each other. 886 01:00:51,049 --> 01:00:54,849 Fry, you dumb sack. I don't care about your problems at all. 887 01:00:56,388 --> 01:00:59,653 - You need your blanket, Mr. Panucci. - I don't even wanna be here. 888 01:00:59,758 --> 01:01:01,658 I only came because you wheeled me. 889 01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:03,921 But if that narwhal means so much to you, 890 01:01:04,029 --> 01:01:05,519 you gotta do something. 891 01:01:05,631 --> 01:01:08,191 I know, but I can't just go chasing after her. 892 01:01:08,300 --> 01:01:11,929 - That'd be nuts. - Sometimes you gotta be a little nuts. 893 01:01:12,037 --> 01:01:15,404 Let me introduce you to my cousin. He owns a small freighter. 894 01:01:15,507 --> 01:01:17,702 That's him right behind us. 895 01:01:17,809 --> 01:01:19,106 Maybe you're right. 896 01:01:19,211 --> 01:01:22,271 Sir, I'd like to engage your ship for a trans-Arctic voyage 897 01:01:22,381 --> 01:01:24,713 to capture a narwhal and bring it back to my room. 898 01:01:24,816 --> 01:01:28,513 - The man is nuts, Leroy. - Professional whale keeper, eh? 899 01:01:28,620 --> 01:01:31,851 I've carried your type before, and we don't get along. 900 01:01:31,957 --> 01:01:35,393 Oh, I agree with your values and your goals and your methods, 901 01:01:35,494 --> 01:01:38,520 but somehow we just never click on a personal level. 902 01:01:38,630 --> 01:01:42,361 I'm not a professional anymore. Just a narwhal-Ioving private citizen. 903 01:01:42,467 --> 01:01:43,729 Then I'm your man. 904 01:01:43,835 --> 01:01:47,737 We'll take on three barrels of fresh sausage and sail at dawn. 905 01:01:56,114 --> 01:01:58,742 Welcome to the wedding! 906 01:01:58,850 --> 01:02:00,909 It's a foolproof plan. 907 01:02:01,019 --> 01:02:04,853 They can't sign the wedding license if I give them a pen with no ink. 908 01:02:06,091 --> 01:02:10,790 Yeah, once they try to sign that license, all hell will break loose. 909 01:02:11,597 --> 01:02:12,564 Oy vey. 910 01:02:12,965 --> 01:02:14,091 Go on now, man. 911 01:02:14,199 --> 01:02:16,463 Don't you know nothing about zipping up a woman's frock? 912 01:02:16,568 --> 01:02:19,435 It's more my thing to zip them down. 913 01:02:21,039 --> 01:02:24,770 Get your clumsy, muscular hands off my woman, Barbados. 914 01:02:24,876 --> 01:02:26,673 Hermes! Your body! 915 01:02:26,778 --> 01:02:29,144 I always said you were a little backward. 916 01:02:29,247 --> 01:02:31,943 Well, I always said you were a little forward. 917 01:02:32,050 --> 01:02:33,415 With my wife! 918 01:02:33,518 --> 01:02:35,986 Ooh! 919 01:02:37,689 --> 01:02:40,157 Consider yourself bird-dogged. 920 01:02:40,258 --> 01:02:43,091 That's my man! Take a boat, Barbados. 921 01:02:44,463 --> 01:02:46,454 Brother, you gots to tell that sweet thing 922 01:02:46,565 --> 01:02:48,760 your time-duplicate body is doomed. 923 01:02:48,867 --> 01:02:52,030 Tomorrow morning, after the festivities. 924 01:02:52,137 --> 01:02:53,434 Yow, baby. 925 01:03:00,646 --> 01:03:04,013 Our little girl is finally getting married. 926 01:03:04,116 --> 01:03:06,243 And to a normal two-eyed human. 927 01:03:06,551 --> 01:03:07,984 He's not good enough for her. 928 01:03:08,086 --> 01:03:10,054 Leela deserves a guy with a dozen eyes. 929 01:03:10,155 --> 01:03:12,988 Quit trying to fix her up with Fly Mutant. 930 01:03:16,028 --> 01:03:17,188 Dearly liked, 931 01:03:17,295 --> 01:03:20,822 we are gathered here before one or more gods, or fewer, 932 01:03:20,932 --> 01:03:23,833 to join this couple in pretty good matrimony. 933 01:03:23,935 --> 01:03:25,903 If anyone objects to this union, 934 01:03:26,004 --> 01:03:29,303 let them speak now or forever hold their peace, 935 01:03:29,408 --> 01:03:31,103 or do something else. 936 01:03:39,985 --> 01:03:41,976 It's been two years, Fry. 937 01:03:42,087 --> 01:03:45,523 We've caught 108 narwhals and set them all free again. 938 01:03:45,624 --> 01:03:48,491 - None of them were Leelu. - But all of them were edible. 939 01:03:48,593 --> 01:03:51,790 Can we at least eat that one? I'm sick of sausage. 940 01:03:53,031 --> 01:03:55,693 I'd know that modified extended tooth anywhere. 941 01:03:55,801 --> 01:03:57,234 To the boats! 942 01:03:58,203 --> 01:04:02,003 Leelu! Leelu! It's me, Fry! 943 01:04:08,113 --> 01:04:10,081 Oh, I've missed you, too, Leelu. 944 01:04:10,182 --> 01:04:13,674 But we'll never be apart again because we care too much for each other. 945 01:04:13,785 --> 01:04:14,843 Fire! 946 01:04:18,123 --> 01:04:21,183 Now, if the couple will sign the wedding license. 947 01:04:41,113 --> 01:04:42,580 I warned him ! 948 01:04:42,681 --> 01:04:46,640 I warned him a time paradox duplicate is always doomed. 949 01:04:47,052 --> 01:04:49,782 - What? - Oh, no, my man. 950 01:04:49,888 --> 01:04:51,719 He's essentially dead again. 951 01:04:51,823 --> 01:04:52,847 Relax, ma'am. 952 01:04:52,958 --> 01:04:56,485 Your husband's original body will be repaired within one week. 953 01:04:56,595 --> 01:04:59,462 Not soon enough. Boy needs a daddy. 954 01:04:59,564 --> 01:05:01,293 Cruel runnings, man. 955 01:05:04,136 --> 01:05:07,469 - Woopsy-doopsy, poopsy. - Well, let's get on with it. 956 01:05:07,572 --> 01:05:09,904 Don't let my doomed body and my doomed marriage 957 01:05:10,008 --> 01:05:11,532 stand in the way of your happiness. 958 01:05:11,643 --> 01:05:13,167 No, it's not right. 959 01:05:13,278 --> 01:05:16,770 We don't want our happy day tainted by misfortune and tragedy, do we? 960 01:05:16,882 --> 01:05:19,578 - I'm okay with it. - No, it's not right. 961 01:05:19,684 --> 01:05:20,878 The wedding is off. 962 01:05:23,388 --> 01:05:24,946 Oh, my goodness! 963 01:05:27,392 --> 01:05:29,326 Finally, a happy ending. 964 01:05:37,836 --> 01:05:41,363 And now it's time for Everybody Loves Hypnotoad. 965 01:05:46,678 --> 01:05:50,205 Even in a depression, the entertainment industry thrives. 966 01:05:57,455 --> 01:05:58,786 Are you okay, Leela? 967 01:05:58,890 --> 01:06:00,721 Yeah, I'm just a little down 968 01:06:00,826 --> 01:06:03,624 'cause the only man I'll ever love left me at the altar. 969 01:06:03,728 --> 01:06:06,720 - Plus I live in a dumpster. - You stay out of my dumpster. 970 01:06:08,033 --> 01:06:10,627 We interrupt this episode ofEverybody Loves Hypnotoad 971 01:06:10,735 --> 01:06:14,466 to bring you a special address from Earth President Nixon. 972 01:06:14,573 --> 01:06:16,939 Please, Hypnotoad, it's beyond my control. 973 01:06:17,042 --> 01:06:19,272 No! Don't make me kill myself! 974 01:06:20,912 --> 01:06:22,743 My fellow Earthicans, 975 01:06:22,848 --> 01:06:26,113 I've just received some really great news. 976 01:06:26,218 --> 01:06:27,378 I'm about to close a deal 977 01:06:27,485 --> 01:06:30,454 that will allow us to buy Earth back from the scammers. 978 01:06:31,690 --> 01:06:33,487 That'll teach those scammers and me. 979 01:06:33,592 --> 01:06:35,457 Just when things looked darkest, 980 01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:38,723 I received an e-mail from the Andromeda Galaxy. 981 01:06:38,830 --> 01:06:42,891 It seems we've won their quadrillion-dollar family sweepstakes. 982 01:06:44,135 --> 01:06:45,124 Oh, Lord. 983 01:06:45,237 --> 01:06:46,761 And all I had to do was hand over 984 01:06:46,872 --> 01:06:49,705 our last remaining land and water as collateral. 985 01:06:49,808 --> 01:06:50,866 So assuming all goes... 986 01:06:52,110 --> 01:06:54,135 What's that, Agnew? A telegram? 987 01:06:57,716 --> 01:07:01,117 There... Seems to have been some... 988 01:07:01,219 --> 01:07:02,709 We've been scammed again, people. 989 01:07:02,821 --> 01:07:06,814 Prepare to evacuate Earth. I mean, New Scamedonia. 990 01:07:09,895 --> 01:07:13,456 Na-na-na-na Na-na-na-na 991 01:07:13,798 --> 01:07:15,425 Hey, hey, hey 992 01:07:15,533 --> 01:07:17,467 We took your stuff 993 01:07:17,569 --> 01:07:19,628 All aboard for Neptune! 994 01:07:19,738 --> 01:07:22,229 Oh, I don't want to go to Neptune. 995 01:07:22,340 --> 01:07:24,638 I'll be cold and heavy. 996 01:07:26,811 --> 01:07:28,972 Thanks for the planet, suckers. 997 01:07:53,505 --> 01:07:57,373 It's so cold, my processor is running at peak efficiency. 998 01:07:57,475 --> 01:07:59,238 What are you, a whining machine? 999 01:07:59,344 --> 01:08:02,336 If you want to worry about something, worry about the yetis. 1000 01:08:02,447 --> 01:08:03,846 Yetis? 1001 01:08:05,650 --> 01:08:07,880 Oh, yetis. 1002 01:08:07,986 --> 01:08:11,422 Amy, you speak yeti. What are they saying? 1003 01:08:11,523 --> 01:08:14,788 I'm not sure, but it sounds like something to do with... 1004 01:08:14,893 --> 01:08:17,691 "Assaulting the interlopers." 1005 01:08:24,002 --> 01:08:27,096 Don't mess with me, you ice-crapping snow-honkies. 1006 01:08:27,205 --> 01:08:28,900 I just got dumped. 1007 01:08:31,943 --> 01:08:36,039 Sweet yeti of the Serengeti, she's gone crazy eddie in the head-y. 1008 01:08:46,558 --> 01:08:48,617 - Is that normal? - No. 1009 01:08:48,727 --> 01:08:50,991 Perhaps if we were to cook and eat her slightly... 1010 01:08:51,096 --> 01:08:52,120 Leave her alone. 1011 01:08:52,230 --> 01:08:54,824 She just needs me to cheer her up. 1012 01:08:54,933 --> 01:08:57,094 Wanna sword fight, girl? 1013 01:09:02,073 --> 01:09:04,769 That male narwhal seems to be upsetting her. 1014 01:09:04,876 --> 01:09:08,471 Get us out of here, Captain. Full fast ahead. 1015 01:09:08,580 --> 01:09:10,411 Damn whale keepers. 1016 01:09:22,861 --> 01:09:25,728 Santa ! We forgot he's based on Neptune. 1017 01:09:25,830 --> 01:09:28,697 Ho! Ho! Ho! 1018 01:09:29,834 --> 01:09:32,302 Oh, my heart's not in it. 1019 01:09:32,404 --> 01:09:36,067 I'm too depressed for murder and mayhem. 1020 01:09:37,175 --> 01:09:39,905 Try some antidepressants. They're Gummi. 1021 01:09:40,011 --> 01:09:41,239 What happened, Santa? 1022 01:09:41,346 --> 01:09:44,179 The scammers cheated me out of my naughty list 1023 01:09:44,282 --> 01:09:46,182 to use for telemarketing. 1024 01:09:46,284 --> 01:09:49,276 Can you imagine the harm they could do with that information? 1025 01:09:49,387 --> 01:09:51,287 I wanted to do that harm. 1026 01:09:51,389 --> 01:09:53,619 That's it. They've gone too far. 1027 01:09:53,725 --> 01:09:57,525 No more running and hiding. It's time to fight back. 1028 01:09:57,629 --> 01:10:00,189 Now, let's not resort to violence, Leela. 1029 01:10:00,298 --> 01:10:04,394 We're fighting back and you're helping us, you fat holiday idiot. 1030 01:10:05,737 --> 01:10:06,761 That hurt. 1031 01:10:06,871 --> 01:10:08,930 You're on the naughty list. 1032 01:10:18,544 --> 01:10:20,910 So that's our proposal napkin, Mr. President. 1033 01:10:21,013 --> 01:10:24,505 We have just enough people and ships to mount a ragtag attack. 1034 01:10:24,616 --> 01:10:25,605 You wish, missy. 1035 01:10:25,717 --> 01:10:27,776 Dog-danged scammers used our money to build 1036 01:10:27,886 --> 01:10:31,185 a fleet of remote-controlled, solid-gold Death Stars. 1037 01:10:32,724 --> 01:10:36,182 Ooh! I'd take one of those with a side of chili fries. 1038 01:10:36,295 --> 01:10:38,092 We're hopelessly outgunned. 1039 01:10:38,196 --> 01:10:40,994 The force is with us, but that's about it. 1040 01:10:41,300 --> 01:10:45,464 But we have access to a huge manufacturing complex. 1041 01:10:45,938 --> 01:10:48,270 I brought the elves back from vacation 1042 01:10:48,373 --> 01:10:50,933 Chained them up and called my holiday friends 1043 01:10:51,043 --> 01:10:52,067 Kwanzabot 1044 01:10:52,177 --> 01:10:53,439 And the Chanukah zombie 1045 01:10:53,545 --> 01:10:56,173 Three mad, wise men Bearing murder and frankincense 1046 01:10:56,281 --> 01:10:57,714 - Damn you - Shut up 1047 01:10:57,816 --> 01:11:01,047 Now fetch those bunnies by the armful 1048 01:11:01,153 --> 01:11:02,916 - Says who? - Says me 1049 01:11:03,021 --> 01:11:05,489 Napalm makes them slightly more harmful 1050 01:11:05,591 --> 01:11:07,650 No one here goes near that door 1051 01:11:07,759 --> 01:11:10,023 This toyshop's going to war 1052 01:11:10,762 --> 01:11:12,730 Talmud says "Be slow to anger" 1053 01:11:12,831 --> 01:11:15,595 Low-down scammers got me seeing red 1054 01:11:15,701 --> 01:11:17,669 Got my TIE fighter out of the hangar 1055 01:11:17,769 --> 01:11:20,761 Jump back, Jack 'Cause I'm Jewish and I'm undead 1056 01:11:20,872 --> 01:11:22,669 Ten hut! 1057 01:11:22,774 --> 01:11:25,641 Dreidl, dreidl I made it out of blasting clay 1058 01:11:25,744 --> 01:11:26,733 You're nuts 1059 01:11:26,845 --> 01:11:30,144 And when it's dry and ready For mercy they will pay 1060 01:11:30,248 --> 01:11:32,148 I can't wait eight nights or more 1061 01:11:32,250 --> 01:11:34,275 This zombie's going to war 1062 01:11:34,386 --> 01:11:36,911 Check, check it out Kwanzabot in the Neptizzle-hizzle 1063 01:11:37,022 --> 01:11:39,616 With my inhuman beat box Busy building missiles 1064 01:11:39,725 --> 01:11:42,250 They're guided by these cute dancing fairy figures 1065 01:11:42,361 --> 01:11:44,488 Careful, little elf That's proximity-triggered 1066 01:11:44,596 --> 01:11:46,894 I'm fighting back for Kwanza So the children won't miss it 1067 01:11:46,999 --> 01:11:49,433 I'm confused about its meaning But I know it when they dis it 1068 01:11:49,534 --> 01:11:50,592 - So, Santa - Yeah, K? 1069 01:11:50,702 --> 01:11:51,760 - CZ? - Hey, hey 1070 01:11:51,870 --> 01:11:54,805 Let's slay them pimps Come on, pimp my sleigh 1071 01:11:54,906 --> 01:11:56,897 Easy with that toy artillery 1072 01:11:57,009 --> 01:11:59,773 Torgo's powder's deadly but unstable 1073 01:11:59,878 --> 01:12:02,711 - Can they sue for liability? - Certainly not! 1074 01:12:02,814 --> 01:12:04,907 Use as much as you are able 1075 01:12:05,017 --> 01:12:06,484 This bites 1076 01:12:06,585 --> 01:12:09,554 You signed away your rights when you were hired 1077 01:12:09,655 --> 01:12:10,781 - Now, let's fight - Let's fight 1078 01:12:10,889 --> 01:12:11,856 Okay! 1079 01:12:11,957 --> 01:12:14,425 Chestnuts roasting, I'm gonna open fire 1080 01:12:14,526 --> 01:12:16,221 Prepare for gore galore 1081 01:12:16,328 --> 01:12:18,626 This trinity's going to war 1082 01:12:25,570 --> 01:12:27,162 Troops, you are now equipped 1083 01:12:27,272 --> 01:12:30,070 with the finest weapons magical elves can build. 1084 01:12:30,175 --> 01:12:31,301 As for the battle plan... 1085 01:12:31,410 --> 01:12:36,404 And now, to present the battle plan, Commander Zapp Brannigan! 1086 01:12:36,515 --> 01:12:37,539 What? 1087 01:12:38,717 --> 01:12:39,843 At ease, people. 1088 01:12:39,951 --> 01:12:42,784 I was redecorating my undisclosed location, 1089 01:12:42,888 --> 01:12:46,153 when I received word of an heroic invasion. 1090 01:12:46,258 --> 01:12:49,523 Kif, crouch down and shield my thighs from the cold, for God's sake. 1091 01:12:50,962 --> 01:12:53,123 We fight this battle, not for ourselves, 1092 01:12:53,231 --> 01:12:56,359 but for our children and our children's children. 1093 01:12:56,468 --> 01:12:59,631 Which is why I'm forming a children's brigade. 1094 01:12:59,738 --> 01:13:02,502 Will the following youths please step forward? 1095 01:13:02,741 --> 01:13:04,470 Cubert Farnsworth. 1096 01:13:04,576 --> 01:13:08,068 - Here, sir! - My boy. Oh, God, no! 1097 01:13:08,246 --> 01:13:10,077 - Dwight Slim. - Here. 1098 01:13:10,215 --> 01:13:15,118 You took his name? Oh, God, no! In several ways! 1099 01:13:23,862 --> 01:13:27,696 Assuming the 15th pile of children buys us a few seconds, 1100 01:13:27,799 --> 01:13:30,359 we will then execute maneuver 45. 1101 01:13:30,469 --> 01:13:32,403 Followed by maneuver 44. 1102 01:13:32,537 --> 01:13:34,664 - Forty-six. - Oh, great. 1103 01:13:34,773 --> 01:13:37,435 Now I have to start back at the beginning with maneuver two. 1104 01:13:37,542 --> 01:13:38,531 One. 1105 01:13:38,643 --> 01:13:40,941 Admiral, will we stop attacking at any point 1106 01:13:41,046 --> 01:13:43,879 or is this one of those phony-baloney feel-good wars 1107 01:13:43,982 --> 01:13:45,279 like the war on drugs? 1108 01:13:45,383 --> 01:13:48,910 - What's your name, smart mouth? - Lars Fillmore. 1109 01:13:49,821 --> 01:13:53,086 The lovely Leela's on-again, off-again paramour. 1110 01:13:53,191 --> 01:13:56,888 Perhaps a suicide mission would knock the insubordination out of you. 1111 01:13:56,995 --> 01:13:58,257 Yes, yes, yes. 1112 01:13:58,363 --> 01:14:01,389 - We're approaching Earth, sir. - Who? 1113 01:14:01,500 --> 01:14:04,833 Oh, planet Earth. The big blue velour marble. 1114 01:14:04,936 --> 01:14:06,767 All commanders stand by. 1115 01:14:06,872 --> 01:14:11,104 Prepare to transfer battle control to the main duper-computer on my mark! 1116 01:14:16,615 --> 01:14:19,778 Ten, nine, eight... 1117 01:14:25,223 --> 01:14:27,316 Does anybody mind if I take command? 1118 01:14:27,425 --> 01:14:28,983 - No. - Nos. 1119 01:14:29,094 --> 01:14:30,356 - Nah. - Nope. 1120 01:14:30,462 --> 01:14:32,760 - No, Miss Turanga. - No, I do not. 1121 01:14:32,864 --> 01:14:34,126 - No. - It's cool. 1122 01:14:35,033 --> 01:14:39,527 All right. Unit one, acquire target A and fire! 1123 01:14:57,389 --> 01:14:59,380 Yes! Nailed the children's ship. 1124 01:15:04,696 --> 01:15:08,462 Unit 10, Target H, 16-K. Niner, niner, go left! 1125 01:15:08,767 --> 01:15:10,029 I mean right. 1126 01:15:10,902 --> 01:15:11,960 55-U. 1127 01:15:12,070 --> 01:15:13,332 8-R, 2-V. 1128 01:15:13,471 --> 01:15:15,735 - Bingo! - Cheating son of a... 1129 01:15:21,313 --> 01:15:24,009 Whoa ! Whoa ! Whoa ! 1130 01:15:28,119 --> 01:15:30,815 It's hopeless! I can't coordinate this many ships! 1131 01:15:30,922 --> 01:15:32,913 Perhaps I can help! 1132 01:15:34,259 --> 01:15:37,786 Professor, can you wire my head directly into the battle grid? 1133 01:15:37,896 --> 01:15:41,059 I can wire anything directly into anything. 1134 01:15:41,166 --> 01:15:43,100 I'm the professor! 1135 01:15:43,201 --> 01:15:46,568 Then prepare to see a bureaucrat's brain in action. 1136 01:16:15,300 --> 01:16:18,133 Finally, I get to save the Earth with deadly lasers 1137 01:16:18,236 --> 01:16:20,431 instead of deadly slide shows. 1138 01:16:35,086 --> 01:16:36,986 He's champing for a clamping! 1139 01:17:06,418 --> 01:17:07,407 Kwa-zang! 1140 01:17:08,586 --> 01:17:11,714 I did it! I saved Earth and won back my woman. 1141 01:17:11,823 --> 01:17:14,917 - Right, woman? - Oh, Hermes, I've been such a fool. 1142 01:17:15,026 --> 01:17:18,120 Truth be, I married you for your sexy potato body, 1143 01:17:18,229 --> 01:17:21,426 but I'm staying with you for your sexy potato head. 1144 01:17:22,634 --> 01:17:26,161 You haven't seen the last of Barbados Slim ! 1145 01:17:26,271 --> 01:17:28,330 Now, goodbye forever. 1146 01:17:32,110 --> 01:17:34,374 Nice attack, doo-doo heads. 1147 01:17:34,479 --> 01:17:37,141 Too bad we have one last trick up our sleeve. 1148 01:17:37,248 --> 01:17:38,476 I doubt that. 1149 01:17:38,683 --> 01:17:40,981 Remember this, Farnsworth? 1150 01:17:41,219 --> 01:17:43,813 Farnsworth? That's me! 1151 01:17:45,290 --> 01:17:47,121 My doomsday device! 1152 01:17:52,364 --> 01:17:54,127 So it was the scammers! 1153 01:17:54,232 --> 01:17:57,861 They sawed off my hand and stole the doomsday device. 1154 01:17:57,969 --> 01:18:00,267 It wasn't them. 1155 01:18:00,372 --> 01:18:02,863 It was me, Bender. 1156 01:18:02,974 --> 01:18:05,033 The master criminal! 1157 01:18:06,111 --> 01:18:07,601 So what'll it be? 1158 01:18:07,712 --> 01:18:09,976 - Unconditional surrender? - Never! 1159 01:18:10,081 --> 01:18:12,641 - Or total destruction? - Also never! 1160 01:18:12,751 --> 01:18:16,016 You have 30 seconds. Make up your minds. 1161 01:18:16,121 --> 01:18:17,588 Never! 1162 01:18:21,426 --> 01:18:24,054 People, I'm sorry. 1163 01:18:24,162 --> 01:18:27,063 You've never before heard me say those words, 1164 01:18:27,165 --> 01:18:30,328 or even the individual letters that make them up. 1165 01:18:30,668 --> 01:18:34,263 But I am. And with a huge amount of modesty, 1166 01:18:34,406 --> 01:18:36,738 I humbly beg your forgiveness. 1167 01:18:40,178 --> 01:18:43,011 Shut up and keep looking apologized to. 1168 01:18:51,423 --> 01:18:55,120 Uh-oh. I have a worrisome shriveling sensation in my sprunjer. 1169 01:19:05,970 --> 01:19:07,767 - Yay! Bender! - All right! 1170 01:19:09,040 --> 01:19:12,976 Bender, how the Hulk did you end up with the doomsday device? 1171 01:19:14,345 --> 01:19:17,007 I was working the long con all along. 1172 01:19:19,551 --> 01:19:23,180 While sawing off the professor's hand with an extremely dull saw, 1173 01:19:23,288 --> 01:19:24,482 I had some time to think. 1174 01:19:24,589 --> 01:19:28,582 So I asked myself, "Who could use a doomsday device more? 1175 01:19:28,693 --> 01:19:31,218 "The scammers or me, Bender?" 1176 01:19:31,329 --> 01:19:34,264 After several minutes of sawing, I knew the answer. 1177 01:19:34,365 --> 01:19:35,798 Me, Bender. 1178 01:19:37,302 --> 01:19:39,827 So I retrieved the dummy satchel, 1179 01:19:41,806 --> 01:19:44,331 And as soon as I was out of the scammer's control, 1180 01:19:44,442 --> 01:19:46,774 I pulled the old switcheroo. 1181 01:19:47,545 --> 01:19:51,037 And that's how I saved Earth and am the greatest. 1182 01:19:54,385 --> 01:20:00,483 Bender the robot, I'm proud to present you Earth's highest award for swindling. 1183 01:20:00,592 --> 01:20:02,924 The Dirty Double-Cross. 1184 01:20:03,027 --> 01:20:05,894 I'll always treasure it and immediately hock it. 1185 01:20:07,565 --> 01:20:09,260 There, your body's good as new. 1186 01:20:09,367 --> 01:20:12,302 Just pop in an executive suppository every few... 1187 01:20:16,975 --> 01:20:19,307 - What is it? - Nothing. 1188 01:20:19,410 --> 01:20:21,469 It's supposed to be a celebration, Leela. 1189 01:20:21,579 --> 01:20:22,705 I mean, come on. 1190 01:20:22,981 --> 01:20:24,676 Whimmy-wham-wham-whazle! 1191 01:20:25,183 --> 01:20:27,913 I can't help it. I was gonna be married. 1192 01:20:28,019 --> 01:20:29,316 I was so happy. 1193 01:20:29,420 --> 01:20:32,218 Well, maybe you'll meet someone else someday. 1194 01:20:32,323 --> 01:20:34,757 No, you don't understand. 1195 01:20:34,859 --> 01:20:37,293 Lars is the only man I'll ever love. 1196 01:20:37,395 --> 01:20:39,090 I know it in my heart. 1197 01:20:45,336 --> 01:20:47,463 You remember when we first met? 1198 01:20:48,273 --> 01:20:52,437 It was right there in the cryogenic lab, eight years ago today. 1199 01:20:52,544 --> 01:20:55,513 Meet me there in five minutes. It's important. 1200 01:21:06,491 --> 01:21:08,482 Why are you so sad, Leelu? 1201 01:21:11,062 --> 01:21:12,222 Him again? 1202 01:21:15,867 --> 01:21:18,836 Wait a second, are you two... 1203 01:21:27,845 --> 01:21:32,805 Atanarjuat, Fufu, come here! We have to set Leelu free. 1204 01:21:32,917 --> 01:21:35,886 Dang. I never should have quit my job at the casino. 1205 01:21:35,987 --> 01:21:39,184 Me, neither. But she needs what'll make her happy, 1206 01:21:39,290 --> 01:21:40,848 not what'll make me happy. 1207 01:21:59,444 --> 01:22:01,002 Goodbye, Leelu. 1208 01:22:08,820 --> 01:22:10,811 I don't much know about frozen heads, 1209 01:22:10,922 --> 01:22:12,787 but, of course, if it's Mahatma Gandhi, I'II... 1210 01:22:12,890 --> 01:22:14,551 - Leela? - Lars? 1211 01:22:14,659 --> 01:22:16,559 I... I really have to go, I... 1212 01:22:16,661 --> 01:22:20,392 Fry, was this an idiotic trick to get Lars and me back together? 1213 01:22:20,498 --> 01:22:21,522 Quite idiotic. 1214 01:22:21,633 --> 01:22:25,000 But you don't need to be an idiot to see that you two belong together. 1215 01:22:25,103 --> 01:22:27,799 And, Leela, I want what'll make you happy, 1216 01:22:27,905 --> 01:22:29,668 not what'll make me happy. 1217 01:22:29,774 --> 01:22:34,507 I'm sorry, I really am, but Leela and I just can't be married. 1218 01:22:34,612 --> 01:22:38,309 Why not? You obviously love each other. What are you, cousins? 1219 01:22:38,416 --> 01:22:41,874 Fry, you deserve to know the truth. It's because... 1220 01:22:43,187 --> 01:22:44,245 Nobody move! 1221 01:22:44,355 --> 01:22:47,188 Nudar, how did you survive the doom blast? 1222 01:22:47,292 --> 01:22:51,319 My doom-proof platinum vest absorbed most of the radiation. 1223 01:22:51,429 --> 01:22:53,954 In retrospect, I wish I'd been wearing doom-proof pants, 1224 01:22:54,065 --> 01:22:56,124 but you know us nudists. 1225 01:22:56,234 --> 01:22:58,828 - Now give me the time code! - I don't have it! 1226 01:22:58,936 --> 01:23:02,167 - Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt. - Not you. 1227 01:23:02,273 --> 01:23:04,036 - You! - Lars? 1228 01:23:04,142 --> 01:23:07,509 He doesn't have it. He never had it. Fry had it! 1229 01:23:07,612 --> 01:23:11,480 But Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt! I want to stress that part. 1230 01:23:11,582 --> 01:23:15,518 My throbbing sprunjer says otherwise. Now where is it? 1231 01:23:15,620 --> 01:23:18,316 I'm not afraid of you or your expensive gun. 1232 01:23:18,423 --> 01:23:20,653 - Go ahead and shoot. - Oh, yeah? 1233 01:23:20,758 --> 01:23:22,988 Then what if I kill the woman you love? 1234 01:23:23,094 --> 01:23:26,723 Don't you understand, numb-neck? He doesn't love me! 1235 01:23:28,399 --> 01:23:30,390 I've always loved you. 1236 01:23:30,835 --> 01:23:33,497 Don't hurt her. I'll give you the code. 1237 01:23:37,875 --> 01:23:42,574 - What the... - Four, three, two, one, 1238 01:23:42,680 --> 01:23:43,977 boom ! 1239 01:23:51,789 --> 01:23:53,518 Lars, no! 1240 01:24:27,258 --> 01:24:29,818 It's enough just to know you're happy. 1241 01:24:30,995 --> 01:24:32,053 You, too. 1242 01:24:33,264 --> 01:24:36,062 It's enough to know you're happy with Lars. 1243 01:24:36,801 --> 01:24:39,133 Fry, old buddy! It's me! Bender! 1244 01:24:42,206 --> 01:24:43,434 My hair! 1245 01:24:44,475 --> 01:24:45,772 My larynx! 1246 01:24:49,514 --> 01:24:51,277 I'm Lars? 1247 01:24:52,383 --> 01:24:53,407 I'm Lars! 1248 01:24:54,752 --> 01:24:57,915 Wait for me, Leela ! I'll be there in a thousand years. 1249 01:25:07,064 --> 01:25:10,591 I'll save my bread And take it with me 1250 01:25:16,407 --> 01:25:20,104 Shame you won't be there To see me 1251 01:25:21,145 --> 01:25:24,444 Shaking hands with Charles de Gaulle 1252 01:25:25,383 --> 01:25:29,752 You can freeze Like a 30th-century man 1253 01:25:32,723 --> 01:25:34,782 So I got a job at the Head Museum 1254 01:25:34,892 --> 01:25:38,726 and waited for the wonderful day when Leela would arrive. 1255 01:25:38,830 --> 01:25:42,994 Everything was perfect until Hermes exploded at our wedding. 1256 01:25:43,100 --> 01:25:46,399 That's when I learned that, as a time paradox duplicate, 1257 01:25:46,504 --> 01:25:48,335 I, too, was doomed. 1258 01:25:48,439 --> 01:25:50,930 I couldn't put Leela through that. 1259 01:25:51,042 --> 01:25:54,170 So I called it off. I'm sorry, Leela. 1260 01:25:55,379 --> 01:25:56,573 I understand. 1261 01:25:57,114 --> 01:26:00,174 That concludes another silly-willy video will. 1262 01:26:03,387 --> 01:26:05,252 He was a good man, Leela. 1263 01:26:05,356 --> 01:26:07,551 Yeah, you were. 1264 01:26:08,926 --> 01:26:13,659 Well, I guess that wraps everything up in a nice, paradox-free bow. 1265 01:26:13,764 --> 01:26:16,665 - Not quite, my wrinkly brother. - Right on. 1266 01:26:16,767 --> 01:26:19,099 In order for any of this to make any sense at all, 1267 01:26:19,203 --> 01:26:22,172 someone must make one final trip back in time 1268 01:26:22,273 --> 01:26:25,106 to put the code on Fry's ass in the first place. 1269 01:26:26,110 --> 01:26:28,670 Sounds like a job for me, Bender. 1270 01:26:32,016 --> 01:26:33,608 Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero... 1271 01:26:39,891 --> 01:26:41,256 Mission accomplished! 1272 01:26:41,359 --> 01:26:44,522 - You put the time code on my ass? - Someone's ass. 1273 01:26:44,629 --> 01:26:45,823 Oh, and guess what? 1274 01:26:45,930 --> 01:26:49,991 I met all these really cool guys with treasure down in the limestone cavern, 1275 01:26:50,101 --> 01:26:51,568 so I invited them to stick around 1276 01:26:51,669 --> 01:26:55,230 instead of coming up when they were logically supposed to. 1277 01:27:04,348 --> 01:27:08,409 No! No! Everyone out of the universe! Quick! 1278 01:27:11,689 --> 01:27:13,748 What's the worst that can happen? 1279 01:27:32,343 --> 01:27:34,038 Well, we're boned. 1280 01:27:41,185 --> 01:27:43,551 One, two One, two, three 1281 01:28:06,911 --> 01:28:08,845 All rise Attention 1282 01:28:16,187 --> 01:28:17,779 Twenty-four I'm gonna get twenty four 1283 01:28:17,888 --> 01:28:20,448 I'm gonna get 24th century on his ass100806