Original subtitles

"Jowl ready 4 this?!"

Welcome to volume four of "Jowl ready 4 this?!" [laughs]

Let's start off with a brief exercise of the right jaw.

Fellas. Fellas. Fellas.

[both repeating "fellas"]

??

Doc, you down here?

I got to take off early today. I've got to ...

[shushes]

- Great job. Now remember to hydrate. - Maybe he's too happy.

We need to lower his expectations.

Doc, is this even legal?

Everything in the name of science is legal 88.

- No, it's not. - Take this.

[beep]

88, can you hand me my anus cream, please?

[repeating "phantom" and "fellas"]

Arctic brand.

That's the money. Thanks, buddy.

[squelch]

[beep]

Hi, boys. Hi, boys. Hi, boys.

??

Oh, gents, how's the machine coming along?

[coughs] Needs more magnets.

This could be our victory at the next invention convention

- Oh, at least fifth place. - Controlling the weather?

Governments would buy it up in a snap.

Alright, calibrating timing device. Hmm.

Alright, give it a try.

[crank whines, engine revs, electricity crackles]

- Oh! - Darn it.

We need this to work yesterday.

Is the waiting room this way?

Yeah, sorry. Be right with you.

Give it a whirl. Calibrating timing device.

[beeping]

[crank whines, engine revs, electricity crackles]

- Oh! - Darn it.

We need this thing to work yesterday.

Is the waiting room this way?

Yeah, sorry. Be right with you.

??

- Impossible. - Did we just...

- Create a... - Together: Time loop?

Of course! Time and weather are completely related.

- Everyone knows that. - Science will never be the same!

We're going to be rich!

- Money! Money! - Money!

[all shouting indistinctly]

[high-pitched laugh]

??

Dream Corp LLC.

Say "cheetos."

Dr. Roberts: Could you imagine the money from time travel?

Could've been cool.

Well, today is more special than time travel.

- What's today? - Today, we get to explore

the duality of the universe. Twins!

Identical twins ... not uncommon in my genius.

Welcome.

Mm. I'm Dr. Roberts.

Thank you for choosing Dream Corp LLC.

Thank you for seeing us doctor, I'm Peg, and this is Meg.

[stutters] Peg leg, we don't like to use names.

We like to stick to the numbers.

It helps me to focus on the science

as much as sleep at night.

[clears throat] You don't sleep at night.

Where is Margot Daly?

She's supposed to prep the patients for procedure.

Uh, Margot Daly quit after we killed patient 88.

Oh. That's right.

Well, death is not for everyone.

- A patient died here? - Briefly.

Where did you take me, Peg?!

No names. Let's take a deep breath together.

[inhales deeply]

[all sigh deeply]

Please, tell me the nature of why you're both here.

Together: Identity...

Lack of.

[both scream]

??

Ahh.

[grunts] Milky.

??

Air-traffic control,

this is the Rand Man requesting permission to par-tay!

[laughs]

What in the actual hell?

- Who are these assholes? - Patients, Randy.

Don't tell me to be patient!

You said no one else was on the books today!

Not one... two.

A gift, really.

Do you know how many mail packets

I had to use to get the devil that creamy?!

I'm sorry. Ahmed could you put some

mayonnaise on the shopping list?

It's not about the mayonnaise!!

Uh, make sure you don't get the kind with vegetable oil ...

Coats my throat. How could you forget, Doc?!

Randy, I really have no idea what you're talking about,

- and we have work to do. - I am not working today!

- T.E.R.R.Y.! - Yeah?

Come on! Let's go to our room and chill!

T.E.R.R.Y.!

Sorry, Randy, I-I've got a lot of work to do.

- Aah! - Oi! That's ...

[shouting]

My beakers.

- So angry! - T.E.R.R.Y.: Oh.

- 88 ... you, me, chill! - Yeah, sorry, Randy.

I-I got to clean up all this glass now.

Maybe later.

- But probably not. - [bleep] you guys.

Should we maybe tell him or...?

No. No. The sadder he gets, the happier he'll be.

But he just seems to be getting angry.

T.E.R.R.Y., tend to the weather machine.

Ahmed, to the monozygotic hall.

- To the monozygotic hall. - It's, uh, this way.

T.E.R.R.Y. T.E.R....

[glass crunching] Oh, sorry, mate. My bad.

??

Welcome. The monos, I got to call.

Twins, as you know, are capable of telepathic thought.

With this device,

we will actually be able to hear your thoughts

so that you can communicate your feelings

without ever having to open up your mouth to speak.

It's less awkward.

[beep, sobbin]

- 88: What is that noise? - Randy's crying on the intercom again.

Oh, Doc, here's your branzino.

Oh. Can you go see what the problem is?

I've actually got to leave early tonight. I have a date.

88... we're a man down.

If you hadn't have died, Margot Daly wouldn't have quit.

You're here until I cure these twins,

and it's not going to happen if Randy keeps interrupting us.

So, on the hop. Thank you.

[scoffs]

Let's see how this works, shall we?

You should be hearing each other's thoughts any moment now.

- Is yours warm? - Y-yeah, mine's very hot.

Well, I think that means it's working. Ahmed?

Oh. Uh... I don't know.

Sadly, our research shows that the twins

are not telepathic as previously believed.

Well, all is not lost. On to the next study ... guilt.

[sobbing]

Hey, Randy.

- [sobbing] Hey, 88. - You okay, bud?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

Great. See you later.

[continues sobbing]

Randy, what's going on?

Everyone forgot that it's randay.

- What's randay? - Come on, 88. Randay?

The annual celebration of the last time

I was ever outside.

Why would you even want to celebrate that?

Well, that's the day I met all my new friends.

- Cool. - But now all those so-called friends

completely forgot that it's randay,

including my best friend in the whole wide building,

- T.E.R.R.Y. - Sorry.

You don't have to be sorry. You remembered.

Um, well, technically, I didn't even really know about it.

Well, you're here now. It's your first randay.

We should celebrate. This is perfect.

[laughing]

T.E.R.R.Y.: Okay, so, if I just attach the A.C. to the lawnmower

and add pro freeze and do a little math,

it should work!

Now, if I can just find the other schematics

on this microfiche...

microfiche ... what is a microfiche?

It sounds French.

??

- I am being such a dumple head. - Yeah.

Here, I have a perfectly nice gentleman collar,

and I didn't even offer you any snacks.

Oh, I don't need a snack. I'm good.

Yeah, you do. Look how thin you are, dumple boy.

??

- Ooh! - Uh, hey, Randy,

what was this room used for before you moved in?

Hell if I know. The place has tons

of refrigerators, though. [cellphone chimes]

Okay, what have we got here?

We have some scrambies, some sunboys,

some shell-less at the end there.

- "Wallet!" [voil�] - Oh, I, uh ... I don't have time to eat.

Hey, I know. Let's split a quail pail.

??

[crunching]

??

The womb ... where the first memories were formed

and the strongest bonds were born.

Hmm. It has a ring to it.

What a gift it must be to share

the sacred sack with another.

Hey-ohh!

Oh, T.E.R.R.Y., how's the machine coming along?

Doctor, we are edging ever closer to a breakthrough,

I'm just looking for some more pro freeze.

Uh, quick question ... can they breathe in there?

Hmm? Oh, Ahmed!

??

[both coughing]

It's twin girls!

They're beautiful!

- [squelch] - There you go!

Let me introduce you to my furry menagerie, sir.

Over here, we have Lord Bumpkinrun...

Stephanie...

Kim... Colby.

[funny voice] Lick my butt, 88. [laughs]

[normal voice] Can you imagine doing that?

[chuckles] No. [cellphone chimes]

Oh, over here... [chuckles]

this little guy, a furry little feller,

- if I do say so myself. - Yeah.

This is Foxy Frank. He used to be, uh, alive.

I took up taxidermy after my divorce.

I feel like I kind of mastered it with Frank,

- so I-I stopped doing it. - Yeah totally.

Well, Randy, if you are feeling better,

I actually kind of have to take off early today,

- so I might just run. - Okay. Yeah...

can't keep the Rand Man down. I-I'm good.

Yeah? What are these Randy?

Molars. I-I made this as a souvenir.

This commemorates the last time I ever saw the snow ...

April of '97.

- You've lived down here since '97? - Yeah.

[cellphone chimes]

Uh, you know, I could...

stay for another five minutes.

- Really? - Tops, five minutes.

Oh, that's just enough time to do my favorite thing.

- What's your favorite thing? - Give physicals.

What's your second favorite thing?

Get physicals.

Third?

??

??

Is the pressure okay?

Yeah, actually.

??

This is going to take longer than five minutes.

That's fine.

[sighs]

??

[conversing in French] _

Twins are known for developing a nonsensical secret language.

88: Why do you have this thing?

Oh, my "just buddies brand build a buddy Davey doll"

- from justbuddies.net. - Yeah.

I like to talk to him when T.E.R.R.Y.'s charging.

And you honestly don't think it looks like me?

Whaaat?! Are you nuts?

[chuckles]

The mouth is a little worn, though ...

Hungry Henry. [chuckles]

- It just seems... - What?

- Weird. - Weird?

Don't you ever get lonely?

No I get ... I get lonely. [clears throat]

But I finally have a date tonight.

- What? - Yeah.

You've been holding out on me!

- Yeah, sorry. - Slink me the deets, Sandra Dee.

- It's not a big deal. - I'd say it is.

It's actually with my ex-girlfriend, Denise.

Oh, sure. Denise, yeah. Sounds romantic.

Well, it's more of a friend date.

She doesn't really like me like that,

or she says, you know, but ...

she left her jacket at my house.

So, you're going to piss on it?

No, I'm just going to give it back to her.

I'm really hoping to turn it into a, you know, real date.

Why would you want to be with someone

who doesn't want to be with you?

- Well ... - It just sounds complicated,

I mean that's why I am strictly friends only.

[cellphone chimes] [gasps] Is that her?

Yeah.

We got to get you dolled up for your big date.

I haven't done a human makeover in forever.

??

88: Ow. Ow. [grunts]

??

Need me to rub those temples, Shirley?

- No, I'm good. - Okay.

Denise is going to love this.

- I don't know. - No, she really ...

[computer chimes] A karate lesson.

[chuckles] Hello, Randy-san.

Hello, Master Reggie. Back so soon?

Ah, I see Davey doll is training with us today.

Oh, no. No. No, this is my human pal friend, 88.

- Hi. - Oh, wow, konichiwa.

Master Reggie, how many times do I have to tell you ...

You need to get a new light bulb. I can never see you.

I am just forgetful. Please begin.

I have many lessons today.

Yes. He's very sought after.

A lot of people want to train with him,

I'm very lucky to get to do this.

Yes, very good.

Wait, Randy, what are you doing?

Master Reggie insists that I train in the nude.

Randy, I think this man is taking advantage of you.

- [chuckles] Taking advantage? - Yeah.

He pays me, you knuckle head.

Now, either start chopping or take a seat.

- It's karate time! - Sorry.

- Sorry, Master Reggie. - That's quite alright.

Very good, Randy-san.

I just don't think that's karate, Randy.

Electricity engaged, water power on, timer set.

Invention convention, here we come.

I am the butterfly effect!

??

Oh yes! Yes!

Oh, yeah, that's so hot.

??

I did it. I did it!

Dr. Roberts! Dr. Roberts!

Oh, Jesus Christ!

??

96, 69, choose a mask, any mask.

There's no wrong decision.

??

[gasps] Oh, no. [chuckles] Not that one.

I'm sorry. That's mine. [chuckles]

It shouldn't be there. So, any other mask.

Dr. Roberts! Dr Roberts, it works!

[clears throat] I'm not going to let it go to my head,

but we are now gods who can control the weather.

Fantastic! Ooh, Ahmed,

bring them down to the lab, alright, come on!

Pick a mask! Doesn't matter which one!

Randy is gonna freak. [cellphone chiming]

Good, Randy. Yes. Kiai!

Kiai! Yes, Randy-san.

Who keeps texting you like that?

- Yes, Randy! Yes! - Denise.

Ugh, god. Tell her to take a chill pill. [chuckles]

Yeah, I got to go, Randy. She's mad.

Mad? How can she be mad at you? You've been at work all day.

Yeah.

Hold on a second. Hey, Master Reggie?

- Yes. - My quads are sore A.F.,

and I want to say goodbye to my best friend, 88.

- Okay. - So, thank you so much

for the coins, and I'll see you next time.

The pleasure was mine... many times.

And goodbye to you, young 88,

hey, listen, man ... just live your life, okay?

I mean, you're asking her to be the bigger person,

and I get that, but, you know, the hard truth is

maybe she's not.

You're better than Denise.

Thanks, Master Reggie.

Randy: And I can't wait to try out some of those carrot recipes.

Alright, take care. [computer chimes]

88, thank you so much for spending randay with me,

you made it, easily, the six to eighth best randay

- I've ever had. - Thanks, Randy.

Honestly, today ...

T.E.R.R.Y.: 88, are you there over?

Yeah, T.E.R.R.Y. I was just leaving. What's up?

- Say over. - Over.

Are you with Randy? 'Cause there's a fuse out

in the dream chamber. Over.

Are you kidding me?!

Now you want Randy? Well, guess what? Too bad!

I'm hanging out with my new best friend, 88!

Over!

88's not your friend.

He only hung out with you so he could leave early, over.

Is that true, 88?

You're only hanging out with me so you can leave early?

Randy... it was at first.

But then you started enjoying yourself

and realized we have an everlasting friend bond?

No.

- I hate you! - Randy.

- No! - Randy.

Come on, Davey! We're going to go chill out.

I'm so mad, I could cut off my other hand!

Can you help with the bottom?

Thank you. Thank you.

Asshole!

Places, everyone. Places. He's on his way up.

Randy: You only call me when you need me!

I'll fix your fuse T.E.R.R.Y.!

[laughs] He sounds so pissed off.

[muttering] Having to do all this stupid crap,

wheeling him around forever.

Oh, he's so stupid!

Which fuse is it?

Together: Happy randay!

You remembered!

[laughs] ??

Sun boys! [laughs]

Shell less! It's all here!

It's all here! [laughs]

Tricky Ricky! [laughs]

- Happy randay. - Thank you.

Oh, careful. Don't get any on the costume. It's rented.

[gasps] T.E.R.R.Y.!

Happy randay!

Why didn't you say something?

I was so upset with everyone.

You were so mad, smashing glasses and everything!

I've been planning this for months

'cause you're my best friend!

[chuckles] I love you, T.E.R.R.Y. Thank you.

Real-life dumple boys!

[laughs] They're so tall!

And guess what ... we got you a cake!

We got you a cake!

Yeah. Yeah, you said that.

What?

[gasps]

Wow! She's exhausted!

Ahmed, you better take this dental hygienist

back to the kitchen.

[inhales deeply] Pbhhht!!

[inhales deeply] Pbhhht!!

Meg... if you want to get your own place, you should.

No matter how far away we are, you'll always be my sister.

[inhales deeply] Pbhhht!!

Where am I?

[muffled party music playing]

[cellphone chimes, beeps]

[party music playing clearly]

? It's your party ?

No. No. No. No.

? it's your moment, you have arrived ?

? it's your party, have fun, baby ?

88! You made it. I knew you would.

I didn't have much choice, Randy.

Because we're friends?

Yeah. Yeah. Happy randay.

Oh, happy randay to you, my friend!

I guess I can stay five more minutes.

- Really? - Tops.

[laughs]

??

"Wallet!"

[cellphone chimes]

You should invite Denise to randay.

??

No.

??

Dr. Roberts: All hail the king of crowns.

Randy, we have another surprise for you.

What is that?! It's so ugly!

I spent all day making that.

??

[gasps] [laughter]

??

It's a snow machine! [laughs]

[Chris Garneau's "Winter song 2" playing]

? To the road, to the snow, to the parking lot ?

? each day, this break I ate alone ?

? in the last trace of my frozen love ?

? if spring would come again and ?

? me in the light that the door let through ?

? with a blanket on the window and the tv on, too ?

? all the pictures are sleeping and the fern is weeping ?

? I'll be in the snow when the sun comes home ?

??

[slo-mo] Hey-ohh!

??

Ahmed: Is that guy dead?

??

??

[slo-mo] I can't feel my legs!

??

??

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