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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:12,167 --> 00:00:14,625 Fuck, I shouldn't have brought you to the studio. 4 00:00:14,792 --> 00:00:17,167 I shouldn't have brought YOU to the studio. 5 00:00:18,917 --> 00:00:22,958 Hi. My name is Marc-Uwe, this film's narrator. 6 00:00:23,833 --> 00:00:25,500 And the kangaroo is here, foo. 7 00:00:25,667 --> 00:00:27,542 You mean you're here, foo. 8 00:00:28,042 --> 00:00:31,750 -I'd like to tell you my story. -Your story? Are you kidding? 9 00:00:31,917 --> 00:00:35,500 -Are you going to butt in all the time? -You're butting in. 10 00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:39,792 -Okay, may I tell "our” story now, please? -Go ahead. 11 00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:42,208 Please, start. 12 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,625 I'm not holding you back. 13 00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:47,208 -Start. -All right. Cue the film. 14 00:00:47,458 --> 00:00:49,333 Help! Help! 15 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,000 No, no, stop. 16 00:00:51,167 --> 00:00:52,958 Start way before that. Rewind. 17 00:00:53,208 --> 00:00:54,417 You drive me crazy. 18 00:00:54,667 --> 00:00:57,125 Hello. Marc-Uwe... 19 00:00:57,292 --> 00:00:59,833 No, no. Way before that. 20 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,750 Know what? Best if you start right at the beginning. 21 00:01:02,917 --> 00:01:05,417 Fine. I'll start right at the beginning. 22 00:01:06,417 --> 00:01:08,375 WHAT HAPPENED SO FAR 23 00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:14,333 NOTHING 24 00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:16,583 There once was a spot 25 00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:20,750 where material and energy density were infinite. 26 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,375 A singularity 27 00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:27,792 where the general theory of relativity did not apply. 28 00:01:27,958 --> 00:01:30,083 And then, the following happened. 29 00:01:30,875 --> 00:01:32,583 The goddamn big bang? Seriously? 30 00:01:32,750 --> 00:01:36,708 -You said right from the beginning. -You're such a nitpicker. 31 00:01:37,542 --> 00:01:39,333 Wait, I have a good start now. 32 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,750 13.8 BILLION YEARS LATER 33 00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:44,333 Once upon a time, not long ago 34 00:01:45,042 --> 00:01:47,500 in a galaxy very, very close by... 35 00:01:48,917 --> 00:01:53,292 Sorry to interrupt, but you promised Nirvana would play at the beginning. 36 00:01:53,458 --> 00:01:56,167 -That is not Nirvana. -Any idea how much it costs? 37 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,875 We spent all our budget on Hasselhoff. 38 00:01:59,042 --> 00:02:01,542 I should never have agreed to be in a German comedy! 39 00:02:01,708 --> 00:02:04,625 I had an offer from Marvel. This never would've happened. 40 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,208 Stop whining. 41 00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:08,667 Help me find a good start for the film. 42 00:02:09,292 --> 00:02:11,583 I think we've screwed it up already. 43 00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:16,250 That is me, by the way. A young man with a migraine background. 44 00:02:16,417 --> 00:02:17,917 That's not you! 45 00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:21,250 No, of course not. That's the actor who plays me. 46 00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:23,958 I'd have liked to play myself, but I'm too... 47 00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:26,542 -Too old and ugly? -I'm not an actor. 48 00:02:26,708 --> 00:02:28,417 Now shut up. This is my movie. 49 00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:31,125 -Did you see the poster? -Who wrote the book? 50 00:02:31,292 --> 00:02:33,625 It's not called "The Marc-Uwe Chronicles”. 51 00:02:33,792 --> 00:02:35,292 This is my movie, and... 52 00:02:35,458 --> 00:02:36,667 AUDIO COMMENTARY OFF 53 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:43,875 Think of your migraine as an annoying aunt, 54 00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:48,708 who comes to visit every once in a while. 55 00:02:48,875 --> 00:02:53,958 The best thing is to take a walk with Auntie Migraine. 56 00:03:08,958 --> 00:03:13,000 Hi! I just rented the place across the hall a few days ago. 57 00:03:13,167 --> 00:03:16,250 Well, maybe "rented" isn't the right way to put it! 58 00:03:17,208 --> 00:03:21,083 I wanted to make some pancakes and realized I forgot to buy eggs. 59 00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:22,333 I see. 60 00:03:24,708 --> 00:03:26,042 Oh... Right. 61 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,083 Your doorbell sounds terrible. 62 00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:33,292 Four eggs will do. 63 00:03:34,542 --> 00:03:37,000 -Thank you very much. -No problem. 64 00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:52,417 Wow, that was quick. 65 00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:55,667 I just realized I don't have any salt either. 66 00:03:56,292 --> 00:03:58,083 For the pancakes, you know? 67 00:03:58,333 --> 00:04:01,833 And if you'd have some milk, too... Otherwise, they get too dry. 68 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:02,833 MOVIE MILK 69 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,917 And half a bag of flour. It not supposed to be an omelet! 70 00:04:06,083 --> 00:04:06,917 HALF A BAG OF FLOUR 71 00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:09,708 That is so kind of you. Thanks. 72 00:04:12,958 --> 00:04:14,042 Yeah. 73 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:16,708 Thank you so much. 74 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,250 -Good thinking! -Yeah, right? 75 00:04:28,417 --> 00:04:30,833 If you happen to have a whisk and a bowl... 76 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,208 This is my answering machine. Say "peep” after your message. 77 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,333 -Very kind, thanks. -Maria here. 78 00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:38,708 -And... -Wow, an answering machine. 79 00:04:38,875 --> 00:04:41,833 Thought they only existed in movies with sloppy exposition. 80 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,625 I need a babysitter, 81 00:04:43,875 --> 00:04:48,292 but it seems you're not lounging around at home as usual. Pity. "Peep!” 82 00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:49,917 No, no... 83 00:04:57,917 --> 00:04:59,042 No stove. 84 00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:01,500 Yeah... 85 00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:04,792 Not into tidying up either, huh? 86 00:05:05,792 --> 00:05:07,250 May I ask what your job is? 87 00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:09,792 -Why? -You're at home all day. 88 00:05:09,958 --> 00:05:12,458 And no offense, but it's... 89 00:05:12,625 --> 00:05:15,208 well past 3 p.m. and you're still in your pajamas. 90 00:05:15,375 --> 00:05:17,417 -I'm an artist. -Really? 91 00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:19,917 - I work nights. -Aha. 92 00:05:20,083 --> 00:05:23,000 -A self-selling artist? -Self-employed. 93 00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:25,500 -With music and stuff? -Yeah, sometimes. 94 00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:28,250 -Play something, then. -No. 95 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:29,917 Go on! 96 00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:34,292 Don't worry, I used to sing, too. In a punk band called "The Sick Sisters". 97 00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:37,125 Your song can't be any worse than that. 98 00:05:37,375 --> 00:05:38,958 Yeah, cool. 99 00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:41,917 You hang around with me a lot 100 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:48,583 You share everything I've got 101 00:05:49,792 --> 00:05:52,500 -You're a sort of hobby artist. -No, I'm not. 102 00:05:52,750 --> 00:05:55,750 And you perform that? That was pretty mediocre. 103 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,250 -And what about you? -Me? What do you mean? 104 00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:02,375 -Sorry, it's 3 p.m. and you're... -I'm a communist. 105 00:06:03,375 --> 00:06:04,833 -Is that a problem? -Nope. 106 00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:10,167 Your family's over, but you have no table? 107 00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:13,375 And what about you? 108 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,125 I'm an anarchist. 109 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:19,292 -A moderate anarchist. -Cool! 110 00:06:20,042 --> 00:06:22,667 We can be friends until the revolution starts! 111 00:06:23,292 --> 00:06:25,083 Things will get tricky after that. 112 00:06:26,833 --> 00:06:29,125 -Police. -Yes. 113 00:06:29,375 --> 00:06:31,250 Exactly. We police. 114 00:06:31,417 --> 00:06:33,500 -We ARE the police. -Right. 115 00:06:33,667 --> 00:06:36,833 Have you ever seen a kangaroo here? 116 00:06:37,917 --> 00:06:38,917 No. 117 00:06:39,083 --> 00:06:43,375 It's an animal with a pouch, long tail, pointy ears... 118 00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:47,792 - I know what a kangaroo looks like. -May we come in? 119 00:06:47,958 --> 00:06:49,708 -Absolutely not. -Thank you. 120 00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:51,250 Hold on. 121 00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:53,417 The property facility informed us 122 00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:57,417 that a kangaroo has occupied an apartment here. 123 00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,500 But you didn't bump into a kangaroo here? 124 00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:02,292 Nope... 125 00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:07,125 Excuse me, what are you doing? All this is private. 126 00:07:07,292 --> 00:07:09,458 -We're just doing our job. -Okay. 127 00:07:17,625 --> 00:07:20,917 Don't you want to take a look under my bed? 128 00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:25,667 Maybe you'll find my privacy there, cause I lost it a few minutes ago. 129 00:07:25,917 --> 00:07:28,667 Oh, no... No! 130 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:40,083 Call us if you see a kangaroo, okay? 131 00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:43,125 Okay. Here's my top tip: Australia. 132 00:07:47,958 --> 00:07:49,250 Mr. Klinger! 133 00:07:49,417 --> 00:07:53,250 -Happy birthday from your phone company! -What? 134 00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:55,958 You're our last landline customer in Kreuzberg... 135 00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:59,000 -Thanks. -...So this wonderful bouquet is for you. 136 00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:00,833 Perhaps you could... 137 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,125 All right, maybe next time then. 138 00:08:14,917 --> 00:08:16,333 It's only me. 139 00:08:17,792 --> 00:08:18,833 Thank you so much. 140 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:23,333 -Excuse me... -Real nice of you not to snitch on me. 141 00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:29,458 Excuse me, why are you bringing your stuff...? 142 00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:32,333 Let's be on first-name terms. 143 00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:35,542 Seems dumb to be so formal since we're going to live together. 144 00:08:35,708 --> 00:08:37,167 Don't you think? 145 00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,958 Champagne truffles? 146 00:08:39,208 --> 00:08:40,833 No, thanks. I don't like them... 147 00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:44,667 I'll hang my hammock here, if that's okay with you. 148 00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:46,792 And the punching bag here? 149 00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:49,625 -This is my living room... -"Mine", "yours". 150 00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:52,708 Those are merely categories of the bourgeoisie. 151 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:56,917 How are the pancakes coming along? Didn't you want to make pancakes? 152 00:08:58,583 --> 00:09:02,208 I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 153 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:05,833 You and ... the two of us, I mean. 154 00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:14,333 THE KANGAROO CHRONICLES 155 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,958 You hang around with me a lot 156 00:09:17,125 --> 00:09:18,333 Yeah, so what? 157 00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:21,542 You share everything I've got 158 00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:22,708 How nice of me! 159 00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:26,500 -You vacuum in the middle of the night -Better than not at all 160 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:30,500 What you do differs from everything Everyone thinks right 161 00:09:30,750 --> 00:09:33,875 Your behavior leads me to believe 162 00:09:34,125 --> 00:09:35,750 That we might be friends 163 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,667 That's pretty far-fetched! 164 00:09:38,292 --> 00:09:41,375 Your behavior leads me to believe 165 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,667 -That we might be friends -That's what YOU think 166 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:49,917 -If I have a date you are not leavin' -A dale? Seriously? 167 00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:54,917 When I help you, you say we're even It's really awesome... 168 00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:57,958 -Catch! -...how you make every conflict worse 169 00:09:58,458 --> 00:10:00,125 I just want to let you know... 170 00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:01,833 -Uh-huh? -You get on my nerves! 171 00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:05,333 Your behavior leads me to believe 172 00:10:05,958 --> 00:10:07,792 That we might be friends 173 00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:09,958 Slam dunk, you losers! 174 00:10:10,208 --> 00:10:12,875 Your behavior leads me to believe 175 00:10:13,875 --> 00:10:15,292 That we might be friends 176 00:10:15,542 --> 00:10:17,833 Let's say good acquaintances 177 00:10:18,333 --> 00:10:21,208 When I have a plan You think yours is better 178 00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:22,208 And rightly so 179 00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:25,167 When I am all upset You're even upsetter 180 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,333 That's not a word! 181 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:29,792 There's no one I'd rather argue with 182 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:35,500 Because I know we agree That everybody else is really 183 00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:37,958 -...much dumber than we! -True 184 00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:41,292 Your behavior leads me to believe 185 00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:45,333 -That we might be friends -I've heard enough. Time for me to join in 186 00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:47,125 Get up! 187 00:10:47,292 --> 00:10:50,125 A YEAR LATER 188 00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:56,917 Oh... so that's it? Too bad. 189 00:10:57,083 --> 00:11:01,375 Today we're reporting from the headquarters of Our Homeland Inc. 190 00:11:01,625 --> 00:11:03,875 I'm joined here by Jörg Dwigs. 191 00:11:04,042 --> 00:11:06,375 Mr. Dwigs, why would a successful businessman 192 00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:09,875 get involved in politics as a right-wing populist? 193 00:11:10,042 --> 00:11:12,958 Right-wing populist... Please. 194 00:11:13,208 --> 00:11:17,000 Jörg Dwigs expresses the will of the people. 195 00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:20,500 And I think what our country needs is a little healthy patriotism. 196 00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:24,917 "Healthy patriotism". Sounds like "benign tumor". 197 00:11:25,875 --> 00:11:29,750 It might not be life-threatening, but it's still a tumor, you know? 198 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,375 Whatever. 199 00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:35,375 All right. The first rule of the boxing club is: 200 00:11:35,542 --> 00:11:37,000 don't talk about the boxing club. 201 00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,917 The second rule of the boxing club is: 202 00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:43,875 don't talk about the boxing club. Why is this easy to remember? 203 00:11:44,125 --> 00:11:45,875 It's the same as the first rule. 204 00:11:46,042 --> 00:11:49,333 And the third and last rule of the boxing club is? 205 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:52,625 -If you see a Nazi, punch him. -Right. Go for it! 206 00:11:52,792 --> 00:11:55,208 -Come on, I'm a Nazi. -Hey. 207 00:11:55,792 --> 00:11:58,292 It's sweet of you to babysit, 208 00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:01,708 but there are people here who at this time in the morning... 209 00:12:01,875 --> 00:12:03,042 11:30 a.m.? 210 00:12:03,208 --> 00:12:05,917 ...who at 11:30 a.m. would still like to sleep. 211 00:12:06,167 --> 00:12:10,083 -Is there a friendly version of you, too? -Just the tired, pissed off and angry one. 212 00:12:10,708 --> 00:12:12,750 -What are you up to anyway? -The boxing club. 213 00:12:12,917 --> 00:12:15,042 I thought we're not supposed to talk about it? 214 00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:16,917 Ah, right. That's true. 215 00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:19,333 -Hey, join in, we can... -Ouch! 216 00:12:19,958 --> 00:12:22,417 Yeah, yeah, that's the way to do it! 217 00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:25,250 Look for their weak spot and shield your face. 218 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:28,167 Otherwise, I can deliver an uppercut and... 219 00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:38,167 When you go back to your mom, remember the first two rules, okay? 220 00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,083 I'll get you a champagne truffle. 221 00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:42,333 Finally... 222 00:12:53,375 --> 00:12:56,708 -Are you serious? -It wasn't me, it came from outside. 223 00:12:57,958 --> 00:13:00,500 I'm allergic to house dust! 224 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,458 Look at that! 225 00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:13,917 -Run for your lives. I'm off. -Me, too. 226 00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:16,125 I'm too young to die. 227 00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:20,000 Many wonder how you were able to persuade the city 228 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,875 to let you build over Görlitzer Park? 229 00:13:23,042 --> 00:13:26,625 That is yet another manipulative question. 230 00:13:26,792 --> 00:13:31,167 We're building over 40% of the land, not 100%. 231 00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:34,708 The question should be: is this even a park? 232 00:13:34,958 --> 00:13:37,333 It's more like a drug distribution center. 233 00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:41,417 A place where useless individuals hang out. 234 00:13:41,583 --> 00:13:45,542 There will never be a revolution if you just laze around in the park like that. 235 00:13:45,708 --> 00:13:46,708 What do you mean? 236 00:13:46,875 --> 00:13:50,583 Your anarchism is so moderate that you could join the Social Democratic Party. 237 00:13:50,833 --> 00:13:54,333 -You could even become their chairman. -No need to be so mean. 238 00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,750 I need to eat or I'll get a migraine. 239 00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,500 Luckily, I have some food. 240 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:01,500 Want some? 241 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,708 Cold pancake, cold fish fingers... 242 00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:11,583 ...and champagne truffles. 243 00:14:13,625 --> 00:14:15,958 Rangakoo likes trumpagne chuffies... 244 00:14:21,042 --> 00:14:23,125 -Heinrich! -Heinrich! 245 00:14:23,375 --> 00:14:25,792 Go away! Go away! 246 00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,042 Go away! 247 00:14:29,708 --> 00:14:30,750 Get off of me! 248 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:32,542 Get off of me! 249 00:14:32,792 --> 00:14:34,875 Come here, boy! Stop! 250 00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:36,750 Sit! Stay put! 251 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,583 Naughty doggy! 252 00:14:40,167 --> 00:14:44,458 -Dude, somebody just kicked your dog. -That... That... 253 00:14:44,625 --> 00:14:46,458 That is not allowed? 254 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,708 That is something I always dreamed of doing! 255 00:14:50,292 --> 00:14:52,625 French bulldogs don't fly so well. 256 00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,042 Aerodynamically, they're sort of clumsy. 257 00:14:55,292 --> 00:15:00,375 A Pomeranian or a Pekinese would have flown 15 feet further. 258 00:15:00,542 --> 00:15:03,542 -Which breed flies best? -Chihuahuas fly pretty good. 259 00:15:05,042 --> 00:15:07,708 But it depends on how they are sheared. 260 00:15:07,875 --> 00:15:09,708 He won't be doing that again. 261 00:15:10,875 --> 00:15:13,208 -Did you just kick my dog? -Yeah. 262 00:15:13,375 --> 00:15:15,708 Did you just kick his dog? 263 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,708 Me no speak German. 264 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:21,833 Playing the foreigner might have been a bad choice. Look. 265 00:15:22,083 --> 00:15:23,083 GERMAN REICH 266 00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:27,417 The world can consider itself lucky that Germany didn't expand like that tattoo! 267 00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:30,125 How'd you like it if I hit your kangaroo? 268 00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:32,917 How'd you like it if he would hit your kangaroo? 269 00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:34,083 Bring it on! 270 00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:37,583 Technically, it's not my kangaroo. It belongs to itself. 271 00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:41,750 I'm very touchy when it comes to ownership not only concerning means of production. 272 00:15:41,917 --> 00:15:45,250 -Are you communists, or what? -Yeah, are you... 273 00:15:47,667 --> 00:15:49,417 Back for seconds? 274 00:15:52,292 --> 00:15:54,542 I made better contact with him this time. 275 00:16:01,667 --> 00:16:03,708 He won't be doing that again. 276 00:16:03,958 --> 00:16:06,583 I didn't think we'd get out of that so easily. 277 00:16:09,208 --> 00:16:12,542 All right, you wimps. Who's turn is it? Want some more? 278 00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:17,333 Run, Forrest! Run! 279 00:16:27,958 --> 00:16:31,500 Hey, you jerk! You're blocking two spaces. What's your problem? 280 00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:32,750 -Shut up! -Sucker! 281 00:16:32,917 --> 00:16:35,083 If we don't stop that asshole, he'll evict us. 282 00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:38,792 Don't worry, Maria. I was born here behind that bar. 283 00:16:39,042 --> 00:16:42,500 My mom was on night shift. I just plopped out. Precipitate labor. 284 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:45,583 I was the sixth kid. What do you expect? 285 00:16:45,750 --> 00:16:47,750 That road was paved. 286 00:16:47,917 --> 00:16:49,458 Come on, time to go. 287 00:16:51,458 --> 00:16:53,125 -Bye. -Bye. 288 00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,583 I can't stand it. 289 00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:58,167 This rat hole right next to our lovely tower. 290 00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:02,000 But we do love the historical building structure, honey bunny. 291 00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:05,250 -Outta the way! -It was good for PR, believe me. 292 00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:08,083 Hey, get out of the way. 293 00:17:09,583 --> 00:17:10,833 -Sorry. -Oh, God. 294 00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:15,000 -Get your hands off me! -I just wanted to help. Where's the key? 295 00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:17,667 -Chill, it's in my pouch. -They're coming. 296 00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:20,083 -Are you crazy? - I said: "Get out of the way!" 297 00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:22,333 -Asshole! -The key. Do you have it? 298 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,625 - I need supplies. -Where is the key? 299 00:17:24,875 --> 00:17:28,583 -Check this out. - I meant the key to the door, stupid! 300 00:17:28,833 --> 00:17:31,875 -Cigarettes! No matter which kind. -Right away. 301 00:17:35,250 --> 00:17:37,125 -Do it now. -I am. 302 00:17:37,292 --> 00:17:39,417 -They're here. -Take a chill pill. 303 00:17:39,583 --> 00:17:41,750 Now, please. Do you have it or not? 304 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,542 Yes, I do. Hold on. 305 00:17:43,792 --> 00:17:45,083 Wait for it... 306 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,750 No, that's not it. What about your key, huh? 307 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,667 -Do you speak German? -No, no. 308 00:17:51,833 --> 00:17:55,292 Me no German. Me Turkish man. 309 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,208 -Move it, move it, move it! -Yeah, yeah. 310 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,792 You're so totally unchilled, man. 311 00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:09,042 That's not it. That's not it, either. 312 00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:11,042 -Now what do we do? -Oh... 313 00:18:13,708 --> 00:18:16,667 -Let's all just take it real easy. -What do we do? 314 00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:19,375 Don't make any mistakes. You are four Nazis. 315 00:18:19,625 --> 00:18:21,708 We're not Nazis, we're patriots. 316 00:18:21,958 --> 00:18:24,042 Sure, four patriots. 317 00:18:24,208 --> 00:18:27,083 However, according to the Bertelsmann Foundation, 318 00:18:27,250 --> 00:18:31,792 one of you four Naz... patriots, is an informer for the secret service. 319 00:18:32,625 --> 00:18:35,542 And have you guys ever wondered 320 00:18:35,792 --> 00:18:38,042 which of you is the informer? 321 00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:48,875 Move it. 322 00:18:53,208 --> 00:18:54,500 Good day. 323 00:18:56,042 --> 00:18:58,917 Not the sharpest tool in the shed. So dumb. 324 00:19:00,792 --> 00:19:02,583 Let. Go. Let go. 325 00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:05,583 -So that's your car? -Great. 326 00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:07,875 That's so typical for foreigners. 327 00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:12,042 -You not work, but a flashy car. -It's not my car, it's his. 328 00:19:12,292 --> 00:19:14,542 -Just borrowed. -Yeah, it's his dad's. 329 00:19:14,708 --> 00:19:16,667 But leave the car out of this. 330 00:19:16,917 --> 00:19:19,792 You have no idea what his dad is like. 331 00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:22,875 -I'd rather have you punch me. -Yeah, better punch him. 332 00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:27,625 Oh, I bet that hurt. 333 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,750 So you mean the car 334 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,000 doesn't want to get to know my basketball bat? 335 00:19:34,958 --> 00:19:37,042 "Baseball" bat, and no, it doesn't. 336 00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:41,250 -So I shouldn't do this then? -No, please don't. 337 00:19:42,458 --> 00:19:45,042 Germany is a beautiful country. We love Europe. 338 00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:49,708 But soon Europe will belong to the Ottoman Empire. Very soon... we're a world power. 339 00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:54,875 -Germans always say we steal jobs... -I shouldn't do this either, huh? 340 00:19:55,125 --> 00:19:56,167 Yeah, please don't. 341 00:19:57,792 --> 00:20:02,583 - I shouldn't slash the tires either, huh? -That assumption is absolutely right. 342 00:20:06,833 --> 00:20:11,042 - I have nothing against Arabs. -They're Turks, darling. 343 00:20:11,292 --> 00:20:14,000 - I have nothing against Turks, either. -In Turkey! 344 00:20:18,167 --> 00:20:20,125 100% organic and German. 345 00:20:20,292 --> 00:20:23,375 Sweetie, don't forget your salmonella intolerance. 346 00:20:23,625 --> 00:20:25,542 I've digested a lot worse things. 347 00:20:32,167 --> 00:20:33,458 Are they insane? 348 00:20:39,958 --> 00:20:41,375 Are you stupid, or what? 349 00:20:42,917 --> 00:20:46,375 I'll bash in something else if you don't change your tune. 350 00:20:46,542 --> 00:20:49,292 A rude shit, just like your son! 351 00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:51,833 That there is not my son. 352 00:20:52,458 --> 00:20:54,125 This is my son. 353 00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:57,958 You bunch of fuckwits. 354 00:21:01,583 --> 00:21:05,500 Okay, calm down everyone or somebody will start crying. 355 00:21:05,667 --> 00:21:07,083 Enough of this crap! 356 00:21:08,458 --> 00:21:10,083 Man, I told you! 357 00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:15,000 I'm so rich I don't care! 358 00:21:15,167 --> 00:21:17,125 I have two more of these! 359 00:21:17,292 --> 00:21:19,958 A black one, a red one, and a gold one. 360 00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:22,875 Thanks, but I was completely in control of the situation. 361 00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:25,792 Yeah, sure. Are you okay? 362 00:21:25,958 --> 00:21:27,458 Yes, thanks. 363 00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:34,333 Now would be a good time to talk to her. 364 00:21:36,208 --> 00:21:37,292 Maria... 365 00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:40,875 Listen, I wanted... 366 00:21:41,708 --> 00:21:45,542 In case you haven't got any better plans... 367 00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:51,875 -You know what I mean. -Are you still in your pajamas? 368 00:21:54,792 --> 00:21:58,542 So, what he's been meaning to ask you for a while now, is 369 00:21:58,708 --> 00:22:00,750 if you'd go out with him? 370 00:22:02,208 --> 00:22:06,458 -He's not good with feelings and stuff. -True. 371 00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:10,667 That's totally sweet. Tell him it would be lovely to go out with him, 372 00:22:10,917 --> 00:22:13,750 but unfortunately it's against the rules. 373 00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:15,875 I see. I'll tell him. 374 00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:20,833 She can't go out with you because it's against the rules. 375 00:22:23,208 --> 00:22:25,792 -What rules? -No idea. 376 00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:31,750 - I hope you have insurance. -You don't know who you're dealing with. 377 00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:34,750 No, you don't know who YOU'RE dealing with. 378 00:22:35,667 --> 00:22:37,417 The other one, sweetheart. 379 00:22:38,292 --> 00:22:39,750 REAL ESTATE OUR HOMELAND INC. 380 00:22:40,125 --> 00:22:41,500 ALTERNATIVE TO DEMOCRACY 381 00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:52,125 Mr. Dwigs. I didn't recognize you. 382 00:22:55,042 --> 00:22:56,292 Here you go. 383 00:23:08,083 --> 00:23:11,167 Where is my rabbit's foot? 384 00:23:11,708 --> 00:23:14,292 - I don't know what you mean. -On the car key. 385 00:23:15,125 --> 00:23:17,083 There was a rabbit's foot. 386 00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:19,458 The rabbit's foot 387 00:23:19,708 --> 00:23:24,625 is the only thing I have left of my father. 388 00:23:27,125 --> 00:23:29,958 Jörg, I'm a friend of your fathers. 389 00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:32,375 I have something for you. 390 00:23:33,458 --> 00:23:35,542 This lucky charm 391 00:23:36,292 --> 00:23:39,083 has been in your family for generations. 392 00:23:39,875 --> 00:23:45,208 When your father fought in WW2, he wore it around his neck every day. 393 00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:51,042 Your father knew that if the Russians were to find the rabbit's foot, 394 00:23:51,208 --> 00:23:53,000 they would confiscate it. 395 00:23:53,667 --> 00:23:56,542 So... he hid it 396 00:23:57,292 --> 00:23:59,792 in the only safe place he knew. 397 00:24:00,708 --> 00:24:02,125 Up his ass. 398 00:24:10,917 --> 00:24:14,792 He carried the rabbit's foot around up his ass for two years. 399 00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:17,542 And then... 400 00:24:18,125 --> 00:24:21,000 when he got dysentery, he gave it to me. 401 00:24:21,458 --> 00:24:24,083 ! hid it up my ass for two years. 402 00:24:25,042 --> 00:24:27,333 And now, little man... 403 00:24:29,625 --> 00:24:31,292 I'm giving it to you. 404 00:24:36,958 --> 00:24:38,875 I'll handle this. Calm down. 405 00:24:40,792 --> 00:24:41,792 Jörg. 406 00:24:45,375 --> 00:24:48,875 -Sorry, we can't pay for this. -Because we don't work. 407 00:24:49,125 --> 00:24:50,750 Who's talking about money? 408 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,958 If they don't give the rabbit's foot back voluntarily, you guys are my Plan B. 409 00:25:04,375 --> 00:25:05,417 Oot scover. 410 00:25:06,458 --> 00:25:08,833 The way you distort words is terrible. 411 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:13,042 -You mean, when I litch swetters? - I think it's funny. 412 00:25:13,875 --> 00:25:16,208 Look at that! That there... 413 00:25:16,375 --> 00:25:19,500 is the Bud Spencer sledge hammer! 414 00:25:21,708 --> 00:25:24,583 So how long will the building work go on for? 415 00:25:24,833 --> 00:25:25,875 Five years? 416 00:25:26,042 --> 00:25:28,958 From today, Kreuzberg is as dead as my mother. 417 00:25:29,125 --> 00:25:33,625 I was born here behind the bar. My mom was on night shift, I just plopped out. 418 00:25:33,792 --> 00:25:35,333 -Precipitate labor. -Precipitate labor. 419 00:25:35,583 --> 00:25:38,042 You need to fight back, just like the guys up there. 420 00:25:38,292 --> 00:25:39,792 It's not that easy, Jesus. 421 00:25:40,042 --> 00:25:43,125 One day your Kid is going to hate you for that name, Maria. 422 00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:47,708 Well, if it's any use, I have an idea for a pretty radical protest song. 423 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,375 Hello, everyone. 424 00:26:00,542 --> 00:26:01,625 Hello. 425 00:26:01,792 --> 00:26:04,917 -A non-alcoholic beer, please. -We don't have any. 426 00:26:06,292 --> 00:26:08,458 You heard. We don't have any. 427 00:26:08,708 --> 00:26:10,125 A normal one, then. 428 00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:26,333 Wouldn't be surprised if the kid becomes a moron too. 429 00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:35,417 This morning my husband lost something left to him by his father. 430 00:26:35,583 --> 00:26:36,875 He's very attached to it. 431 00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:38,875 A rabbit's foot about this big. 432 00:26:39,125 --> 00:26:42,000 I'm sure that one of you has it. 433 00:26:42,167 --> 00:26:46,333 If he or she gives it to me now, the next round is on me! 434 00:26:48,083 --> 00:26:52,667 If he doesn't get it back, this could become very unpleasant for all of you. 435 00:26:52,833 --> 00:26:55,083 "Unpleasant"? Is someone talking about me? 436 00:26:55,333 --> 00:26:57,375 I can be real unpleasant, too. 437 00:26:57,625 --> 00:27:00,083 And I'm not talking about an ugly graffiti. 438 00:27:00,333 --> 00:27:01,625 -Graffito. -What? 439 00:27:01,875 --> 00:27:04,083 "Graffiti" is plural, the singular is "graffito". 440 00:27:04,250 --> 00:27:08,083 Someday someone's gonna beat the shit out of you for something like that so hard, 441 00:27:08,250 --> 00:27:11,292 and I'll stay with you until you come back to your senses so I can say, 442 00:27:11,458 --> 00:27:13,042 "Told you so." 443 00:27:13,208 --> 00:27:14,708 What's this "graffito" nonsense? 444 00:27:14,958 --> 00:27:18,583 You don't say, "You have a spaghetto stuck to your chin." 445 00:27:18,750 --> 00:27:21,583 Even if that's the most correct of all singulars. 446 00:27:21,750 --> 00:27:23,042 "Singuli”, Herta. 447 00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:26,667 We don't have any rabbit's foot. Tell your honey bunny that. 448 00:27:28,125 --> 00:27:29,833 Good riddance! 449 00:27:43,125 --> 00:27:46,375 Now how are we gonna make things a bit "unpleasant"? 450 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,500 A little terrorist attack? 451 00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:51,125 Dwigs is doing the terror. 452 00:27:51,833 --> 00:27:53,542 What we must organize is... 453 00:27:54,125 --> 00:27:56,333 an anti-terrorist attack. 454 00:27:58,292 --> 00:28:00,500 And what do you have in mind? 455 00:28:01,250 --> 00:28:04,250 We are all the park! We are all the park! 456 00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:06,083 We are all the park! 457 00:28:06,333 --> 00:28:09,500 We are all the park! We are all the park! 458 00:28:10,125 --> 00:28:13,083 The tower must go! Come on! The tower must go! 459 00:28:13,250 --> 00:28:15,250 The tower must go! Louder! 460 00:28:15,417 --> 00:28:16,750 Are we running? 461 00:28:18,458 --> 00:28:22,333 I am joined by one of the organizers of the so-called "Tuesday Demos". 462 00:28:22,583 --> 00:28:26,750 -Would you tell us your name? -Sure. Friedrich-Wilhelm Yilmaz. 463 00:28:27,500 --> 00:28:29,208 That's a rather unusual name. 464 00:28:29,375 --> 00:28:32,250 Yeah, my parents were very willing to integrate. 465 00:28:32,500 --> 00:28:35,167 They were very "Wilhelm" to integrate! 466 00:28:35,333 --> 00:28:37,292 It's better than my brother's. 467 00:28:38,167 --> 00:28:40,667 -Tell them your name. -I don't want to. 468 00:28:40,917 --> 00:28:42,958 Go on, tell her your name. 469 00:28:43,667 --> 00:28:44,875 Otto-Von. 470 00:28:47,750 --> 00:28:50,500 -La vache qui rit. -Are you here for the demo? 471 00:28:50,750 --> 00:28:53,042 No, I just wanted to buy a hand blender. 472 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,083 Okay, thank you. 473 00:28:55,708 --> 00:28:59,292 Bribery and corruption allegations, residents protesting. 474 00:28:59,542 --> 00:29:04,667 The 600-million-euro project of the Europe-tower is facing growing resistance. 475 00:29:04,917 --> 00:29:09,667 Possibly because it is the pet project of the chairman of the AZD, 476 00:29:09,917 --> 00:29:11,208 Jörg Dwigs. 477 00:29:11,375 --> 00:29:16,708 I, Jörg Dwigs, tireless fighter against the establishment... 478 00:29:16,958 --> 00:29:19,875 My lucky charm! That oversized rat... 479 00:29:20,125 --> 00:29:22,708 -Jeanette! -This guy is the establishment! 480 00:29:23,583 --> 00:29:25,375 What is it, honey bunny? 481 00:29:28,167 --> 00:29:30,042 -I'm good. -Yeah? 482 00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:33,875 Come on. Take a picture for Instagram. 483 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,208 "Destroy what destroys you." 484 00:29:38,958 --> 00:29:41,042 Hashtag: fake news. 485 00:29:45,417 --> 00:29:47,542 I don't know, you look a little... 486 00:29:47,792 --> 00:29:50,292 -Perfect. I'd vote for me. -So would. 487 00:29:50,917 --> 00:29:52,208 Honey bunny... 488 00:29:52,792 --> 00:29:55,625 -I'd like to call your therapist. -Nonsense! 489 00:29:55,792 --> 00:29:57,667 Come on, you need a session. 490 00:29:57,833 --> 00:30:01,333 -I'll tell him you're on your way. -Okay, but right now please. 491 00:30:08,708 --> 00:30:11,500 Psychotherapeutic practice Lietzensee, how may I help you? 492 00:30:11,708 --> 00:30:12,958 -Hello. -Mrs. Dwigs? 493 00:30:13,125 --> 00:30:15,458 Yes. It's time again. 494 00:30:15,625 --> 00:30:17,250 I'll tell him right away. 495 00:30:20,875 --> 00:30:22,917 And how did you feel? 496 00:30:28,375 --> 00:30:30,750 To be honest, I didn't feel anything. 497 00:30:31,375 --> 00:30:34,125 I often feel that I lack emotions. 498 00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:38,208 I think that you often feel... How shall I put it? 499 00:30:39,542 --> 00:30:41,458 That you lack emotions. 500 00:30:42,958 --> 00:30:44,042 Crazy. 501 00:30:44,208 --> 00:30:47,708 Many of my patients are amazed by my empathy, 502 00:30:47,875 --> 00:30:50,417 but then again, I spent years studying. 503 00:30:53,083 --> 00:30:54,250 Go on. 504 00:30:54,917 --> 00:30:56,458 The clock is ticking. 505 00:30:56,708 --> 00:30:58,583 Yes. Quite often... 506 00:30:59,792 --> 00:31:03,458 I get the feeling that everything I say or do 507 00:31:04,167 --> 00:31:08,875 is somehow pointless... because no one really listens to me. 508 00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:11,708 Do you mind if I eat something? 509 00:31:13,167 --> 00:31:16,167 - Haven't had a bite to eat all day. -Go ahead. 510 00:31:20,583 --> 00:31:22,750 The kangaroo thinks 511 00:31:22,917 --> 00:31:26,875 that I don't lack emotions, but that I have inhibitions. 512 00:31:28,250 --> 00:31:29,708 Have you ever tried... 513 00:31:31,375 --> 00:31:33,542 Have you ever tried alcohol? 514 00:31:34,875 --> 00:31:37,417 -Excuse me? -It helps a lot of my patients. 515 00:31:37,667 --> 00:31:40,667 I have to admit that I myself... 516 00:31:42,042 --> 00:31:45,000 don't mind having a bottle of brandy every now and then. 517 00:31:45,167 --> 00:31:46,667 -Seriously? -Yes, yes. 518 00:31:46,833 --> 00:31:49,708 -That's your advice? -Sure. Absolutely. 519 00:31:49,875 --> 00:31:51,708 Let's get back to the kangaroo. 520 00:31:51,958 --> 00:31:54,167 I'd rather we talked about me... 521 00:31:54,333 --> 00:31:56,792 Do you only hear its voice? 522 00:32:00,333 --> 00:32:02,208 Or can you see it as well? 523 00:32:06,958 --> 00:32:10,375 What sort of question is that? Sure I see it. It lives with me. 524 00:32:10,625 --> 00:32:12,042 Of course. Of course. 525 00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:23,042 We need to do something to get that beach body. 526 00:32:24,208 --> 00:32:29,458 Hello, dear TV viewers. It's Johnny Helge with you once again. 527 00:32:29,708 --> 00:32:32,083 ! have an exercise mat, 528 00:32:32,333 --> 00:32:34,167 and we'll begin with sit-ups. 529 00:32:34,333 --> 00:32:35,792 Oh, no, not sit-ups. 530 00:32:35,958 --> 00:32:38,625 Everyone knows how it's done. Lie on the floor. 531 00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:41,167 Hands behind your head... 532 00:32:41,333 --> 00:32:43,583 A kangaroo? I mean, a kangaroo? 533 00:32:43,750 --> 00:32:47,833 That's a lovable animal. A sweet little creature. 534 00:32:48,625 --> 00:32:50,458 One of my patients believes 535 00:32:50,708 --> 00:32:54,042 that a pig lives underneath his bed. 536 00:32:54,542 --> 00:32:57,250 -He even smells it. -You shouldn't be telling me this. 537 00:32:57,417 --> 00:33:00,583 You think it doesn't bother me spending the whole day 538 00:33:00,750 --> 00:33:04,125 listening to random strangers' shitty problems? 539 00:33:04,542 --> 00:33:07,542 I have to talk to someone about it at some point, too. 540 00:33:08,208 --> 00:33:11,542 -Hello. Sorry about this. -One of our patients is outside. 541 00:33:11,708 --> 00:33:14,625 -Who is it? -He who must not be named. 542 00:33:14,792 --> 00:33:17,542 Jesus! Excuse me! Please come. 543 00:33:17,708 --> 00:33:22,208 I'm afraid that we have to interrupt your session at this point. 544 00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:23,833 But I just... 545 00:33:37,167 --> 00:33:38,375 One... 546 00:33:40,542 --> 00:33:41,750 Two... 547 00:33:44,042 --> 00:33:45,208 Three... 548 00:33:47,208 --> 00:33:48,208 Four... 549 00:33:48,875 --> 00:33:54,125 If you have heating at home, I encourage you to stick your feet 550 00:33:54,375 --> 00:33:56,417 under the radiator, 551 00:33:56,667 --> 00:34:01,083 or get your husband or wife or your wives... 552 00:34:02,292 --> 00:34:04,917 Yeah, yeah. Did you forget your key again? 553 00:34:05,417 --> 00:34:07,000 So we meet again. 554 00:34:07,542 --> 00:34:08,958 Hi. 555 00:34:09,750 --> 00:34:11,583 Can I get you something? 556 00:34:11,750 --> 00:34:14,083 Perhaps a few champagne truffles? 557 00:34:15,958 --> 00:34:17,375 What is that? 558 00:34:18,958 --> 00:34:20,208 What is that? 559 00:34:21,417 --> 00:34:23,292 -What? -That thing. 560 00:34:23,458 --> 00:34:25,833 Supply and demand. Ever heard of it? 561 00:34:28,917 --> 00:34:30,292 -Want some? -No way! 562 00:34:30,792 --> 00:34:32,458 Hey, hey, hang on! 563 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,792 -What's up? -Did you pay for that? 564 00:34:35,042 --> 00:34:38,542 -It's free beer today. It says so outside. -Where? Show me. 565 00:34:38,792 --> 00:34:40,458 -Where? -There. 566 00:34:40,708 --> 00:34:42,417 FREE BEER TODAY 567 00:34:44,625 --> 00:34:45,917 -Was that you? -Otto. 568 00:34:46,167 --> 00:34:51,208 The display is on your unencrypted Wi-Fi, and the password is "1-2-3-4". 569 00:34:53,333 --> 00:34:54,833 WE ARE ALL THE PARK 570 00:34:55,083 --> 00:34:56,333 Hi. 571 00:34:56,583 --> 00:35:00,042 Marc-Uwe, it's 1 p.m. Did you just fall out of your bed? 572 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,167 No... 573 00:35:02,667 --> 00:35:05,875 I went to see my psychotherapist. 574 00:35:06,125 --> 00:35:08,042 Really, you have a shrink? 575 00:35:08,292 --> 00:35:09,458 Yes, my parents 576 00:35:10,625 --> 00:35:13,292 gave me ten sessions as a birthday present 577 00:35:13,458 --> 00:35:15,708 because I quit studying philosophy... 578 00:35:15,958 --> 00:35:17,208 Hey, Marc-Uwe! 579 00:35:17,958 --> 00:35:20,583 Want a mate tea? My treat. Come here. 580 00:35:21,167 --> 00:35:22,292 Come on! 581 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,000 Excuse me. 582 00:35:25,833 --> 00:35:29,333 Give up? I'll count to three, then I'm gonna kick your butts! 583 00:35:29,500 --> 00:35:32,167 One, two, threeeeeee! 584 00:35:33,958 --> 00:35:35,250 -Here, dude. -Thanks. 585 00:35:35,417 --> 00:35:37,583 Hey! I wanted to tell you something. 586 00:35:37,833 --> 00:35:40,500 Maybe you should look for a girl in your price range. 587 00:35:40,750 --> 00:35:42,083 Know what I mean? 588 00:35:43,667 --> 00:35:45,917 And what is my price range? 589 00:35:46,167 --> 00:35:49,375 -Well, more like... discounter. -Discounter. 590 00:35:50,333 --> 00:35:53,625 -No offense. -Nope. No offense. 591 00:35:54,417 --> 00:35:57,083 -Anyway she couldn't. -It's against the rules. 592 00:35:57,833 --> 00:35:59,375 You know the rules? 593 00:36:06,375 --> 00:36:07,875 Hey, what are you doing? 594 00:36:09,458 --> 00:36:11,375 What is it up to again? 595 00:36:12,167 --> 00:36:14,292 Let me... Let me go! 596 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:16,750 Are you all right? 597 00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:23,250 Ah, another one who's slow on the intake. 598 00:36:23,417 --> 00:36:24,917 -Uptake. -What? 599 00:36:25,167 --> 00:36:27,042 You say "slow on the uptake." 600 00:36:27,208 --> 00:36:29,417 See? I warned you, dude. 601 00:36:33,292 --> 00:36:34,375 No, no, no! 602 00:36:35,167 --> 00:36:37,708 Oh, God. Not my lovely guitar... 603 00:36:38,417 --> 00:36:40,542 We have a message for you two. 604 00:36:40,708 --> 00:36:43,417 -You stealed from the wrong guy. -"Stole". 605 00:36:45,292 --> 00:36:48,292 -What do you think got stolen by us? -"Stole". 606 00:36:48,458 --> 00:36:50,083 -Where's the damn rabbit's foot? -What? 607 00:36:50,250 --> 00:36:52,500 -The rabbit's foot. -Where the hell is it? 608 00:36:52,750 --> 00:36:55,083 -The damn lucky charm. - I have no idea. 609 00:36:55,333 --> 00:36:57,458 Okay, you asked for this. 610 00:37:03,583 --> 00:37:06,125 No, dude, no! What...? 611 00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:09,083 -Not on the nice rug, man! -The damn rabbit's foot? 612 00:37:09,333 --> 00:37:10,958 This is your last chance. 613 00:37:13,250 --> 00:37:14,875 Choke on it. 614 00:37:19,875 --> 00:37:22,333 We're so rich we don't care. 615 00:37:22,500 --> 00:37:23,792 Heinrich! 616 00:37:23,958 --> 00:37:25,958 We have two more carpets. 617 00:37:26,125 --> 00:37:27,792 One in the bathroom and... 618 00:37:28,625 --> 00:37:30,542 one at his parents'. 619 00:37:32,958 --> 00:37:34,292 Sorry, dude. 620 00:37:34,875 --> 00:37:36,333 Skipping rope. 621 00:37:46,208 --> 00:37:48,583 Are you okay? Are you hurt? 622 00:37:50,917 --> 00:37:53,042 You always screw up, dude. 623 00:37:58,042 --> 00:38:00,750 What did you want with the rabbit's foot? 624 00:38:01,583 --> 00:38:02,792 I don't know. 625 00:38:04,042 --> 00:38:06,542 It sort of spoke to me, you know? 626 00:38:06,708 --> 00:38:08,542 "Take me!", it said. 627 00:38:09,167 --> 00:38:11,458 Promise you'll never do shit like that again. 628 00:38:11,625 --> 00:38:12,583 -Yes. -Yes? 629 00:38:12,750 --> 00:38:16,042 Yeah, word of honor as a communist youth. 630 00:38:17,125 --> 00:38:19,792 That rug really tied the room together. 631 00:38:20,042 --> 00:38:21,542 When do we strike back? 632 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:25,083 The sooner the better. But how do we strike back? 633 00:38:25,250 --> 00:38:27,500 We could simply call the cops. 634 00:38:51,542 --> 00:38:52,917 How about a photo? 635 00:38:54,917 --> 00:38:56,417 Don't look so dumb. 636 00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:07,042 -Hello. -Boy, does that stink! 637 00:39:09,167 --> 00:39:10,333 He smells, not me. 638 00:39:10,583 --> 00:39:13,833 OUR HOMELAND, INC. 639 00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:17,458 -Excuse me, where are you going? -Upstairs. 640 00:39:19,125 --> 00:39:21,458 Wait. Where exactly are you going? 641 00:39:21,708 --> 00:39:24,042 Carpet delivery for Mrs. Dwigs. 642 00:39:25,167 --> 00:39:27,667 I don't know anything about a carpet. 643 00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:30,667 Mrs. Dwigs is minutes away from giving birth. 644 00:39:30,833 --> 00:39:34,750 She decided very spontaneously to have an office birth on her own carpet. 645 00:39:34,917 --> 00:39:37,500 On this very carpet, but not a word. 646 00:39:48,167 --> 00:39:50,542 -Bodengutachten? -Expertise. 647 00:39:55,417 --> 00:39:58,667 The groundbreaking ceremony takes place next week. 648 00:40:01,792 --> 00:40:05,042 -You can't! This isn't a good time. -Of course it is. 649 00:40:05,208 --> 00:40:06,708 -What's going on? -We have an appointment. 650 00:40:06,875 --> 00:40:08,333 I couldn't stop them. 651 00:40:10,667 --> 00:40:13,208 "We can do it", as we say in Germany. 652 00:40:14,375 --> 00:40:15,667 Why are you here? 653 00:40:15,917 --> 00:40:18,292 Because your Nazis peed on our rug. 654 00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:19,750 Call security. 655 00:40:19,917 --> 00:40:22,417 And they smashed my guitar as well. 656 00:40:22,583 --> 00:40:25,208 -We want a new rug. -And a new guitar. 657 00:40:25,375 --> 00:40:26,833 I don't care about the guitar. 658 00:40:28,083 --> 00:40:29,708 Let me tell you something. 659 00:40:29,958 --> 00:40:33,417 Learning from America means learning to win. 660 00:40:33,583 --> 00:40:37,500 You'll fail! The Antisocial Network will take you down! 661 00:40:37,750 --> 00:40:39,000 Antisocial Network? 662 00:40:39,250 --> 00:40:42,958 -Hang on. - I thought our group needed a catchy name. 663 00:40:43,208 --> 00:40:46,292 In America, patriots have regained power. 664 00:40:47,083 --> 00:40:50,875 And do you know what the symbol of this takeover is? 665 00:40:51,125 --> 00:40:52,792 Blow-dried hair? 666 00:40:52,958 --> 00:40:54,750 A Twitter account? 667 00:40:59,750 --> 00:41:01,500 Do you know what this is? 668 00:41:01,917 --> 00:41:06,958 The result of a phallic inferiority complex? 669 00:41:07,125 --> 00:41:08,208 -Am I right? -Yes. 670 00:41:08,375 --> 00:41:10,042 This is the future. 671 00:41:10,667 --> 00:41:12,583 The Europatower. 672 00:41:12,833 --> 00:41:14,458 Or the Dwigs Tower, 673 00:41:15,167 --> 00:41:17,625 as we like to call it behind closed doors. 674 00:41:17,792 --> 00:41:22,750 Planned and financed by patriotic movements from 16 different nations. 675 00:41:22,917 --> 00:41:24,458 17. You forgot Bavaria. 676 00:41:25,250 --> 00:41:27,417 Do you know why 677 00:41:27,667 --> 00:41:31,042 I'm building our main headquarters in Kreuzberg? 678 00:41:31,208 --> 00:41:33,083 In this filthy center... 679 00:41:33,250 --> 00:41:37,458 -...of the left and green multicultural... -Hey, you! Take me with you. 680 00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:39,750 No, why? 681 00:41:41,167 --> 00:41:42,708 Because I can. 682 00:41:43,792 --> 00:41:46,958 Because you've lost and we've won. 683 00:41:47,708 --> 00:41:51,458 That's why I can just walk into your old fortress 684 00:41:51,625 --> 00:41:54,667 and pull out my tower in your face. 685 00:41:54,833 --> 00:41:56,375 So is that a "no" 686 00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,667 to a guitar and a new carpet then? 687 00:42:01,250 --> 00:42:04,250 You live here, in the building next door? 688 00:42:04,417 --> 00:42:06,625 -We live somewhere else. -Somewhere else. 689 00:42:06,792 --> 00:42:10,875 Know what? I was just thinking, seeing as I find you so incredibly annoying, 690 00:42:11,042 --> 00:42:13,500 that I'll buy your house, too... 691 00:42:14,917 --> 00:42:16,167 tear it down, 692 00:42:17,500 --> 00:42:20,292 and then build a parking garage there. 693 00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:24,042 And now, get out. 694 00:42:26,208 --> 00:42:27,792 Get your hands off me! 695 00:42:27,958 --> 00:42:29,458 Out we go. Move it. 696 00:42:29,625 --> 00:42:32,333 Careful, I'm on the list of endangered species. 697 00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:33,750 Stop making a fuss. 698 00:42:33,917 --> 00:42:37,500 I'm a European giant kangaroo. Very rare! Quit stepping on my tail. 699 00:42:38,250 --> 00:42:41,333 An idiot in uniform is still an idiot. 700 00:42:41,500 --> 00:42:44,042 An idiot in uniform is still in uniform. 701 00:42:46,708 --> 00:42:50,583 By the way, I'm pretty sure they weren't Nazis, but patriots. 702 00:43:07,250 --> 00:43:08,583 Champagne truffles? 703 00:43:19,792 --> 00:43:22,292 I was wondering if maybe... 704 00:43:22,958 --> 00:43:24,750 I should be more proactive? 705 00:43:25,458 --> 00:43:29,292 - I got some positive vibes from Maria... - I so don't care. 706 00:43:32,292 --> 00:43:34,708 I mean, I'm so happy for you. 707 00:43:36,833 --> 00:43:39,750 Sorry, I got my thoughts and words mixed up. 708 00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,083 How can I be more proactive? 709 00:43:43,250 --> 00:43:44,708 Just ring her doorbell. 710 00:43:44,958 --> 00:43:48,000 -What do I say? -Just ring. You'll think of something. 711 00:43:50,542 --> 00:43:53,958 -Okay. -Maybe don't mention Dwigs' garage. 712 00:43:55,792 --> 00:43:58,292 And you shouldn't wear your pajama! 713 00:43:58,917 --> 00:44:00,750 Yeah, that's a good idea. 714 00:44:04,292 --> 00:44:08,917 Now that you've taken off your pajamas, maybe you could put on some real clothes. 715 00:44:09,083 --> 00:44:10,208 True. 716 00:44:11,875 --> 00:44:14,458 A bathrobe is not what I meant. 717 00:44:25,125 --> 00:44:26,208 No. 718 00:44:31,542 --> 00:44:33,042 Hi. I... 719 00:44:35,125 --> 00:44:36,542 Yes, what is it? 720 00:44:37,167 --> 00:44:38,250 I wan... 721 00:44:39,333 --> 00:44:42,125 I wanted to make some pancakes. 722 00:44:43,292 --> 00:44:46,917 And I realized that... I don't have any eggs [balls]. 723 00:44:48,208 --> 00:44:51,042 So, you don't have any eggs? 724 00:44:51,958 --> 00:44:53,708 That came out all wrong. 725 00:44:55,333 --> 00:44:57,708 I forgot to buy eggs. 726 00:44:57,875 --> 00:45:03,042 That seems a bit dumb to me, since eggs are an important ingredient for pancakes. 727 00:45:04,250 --> 00:45:07,750 If I'd realized sooner, I'd have saved myself a lot of trouble. 728 00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:13,292 So would you happen to have eggs, 729 00:45:13,458 --> 00:45:15,792 some chickens' eggs for me? 730 00:45:16,042 --> 00:45:17,250 I'm a vegan. 731 00:45:17,875 --> 00:45:21,833 I don't keep the unborn babies of sentient beings in my fridge. 732 00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:23,000 Cool. 733 00:45:24,042 --> 00:45:25,333 All right then... 734 00:45:26,083 --> 00:45:27,125 Bye. 735 00:45:30,125 --> 00:45:31,125 Bye. 736 00:45:32,167 --> 00:45:34,917 Wow. Just wow. 737 00:45:35,083 --> 00:45:39,292 I thought it'd be funny, but that surpassed all my expectations. 738 00:45:39,792 --> 00:45:44,167 Life is a succession of missed opportunities. 739 00:45:44,333 --> 00:45:46,000 Well, maybe yours is. 740 00:45:54,750 --> 00:45:58,125 It was a joke. Your face is always so priceless. 741 00:45:58,375 --> 00:46:01,958 -So you're not a vegan? -Yes, I am. These are Jesus' eggs. 742 00:46:02,208 --> 00:46:04,125 Jesus' eggs? Good grief. 743 00:46:05,042 --> 00:46:08,542 The Catholic Church would pay a fortune for this relict. 744 00:46:12,708 --> 00:46:15,875 I myself am a vegetarian. 745 00:46:16,042 --> 00:46:19,542 We could almost go out for dinner then. Almost. 746 00:46:19,792 --> 00:46:23,000 I've been on the verge of veganism for a long time. 747 00:46:26,333 --> 00:46:28,417 Just let me know when you get there. 748 00:46:29,042 --> 00:46:33,500 -I've arrived. -Cute. But I can't go out with you. 749 00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:36,917 It's against the rules. You know that. 750 00:46:38,583 --> 00:46:40,417 Well, bye! 751 00:46:43,125 --> 00:46:46,083 Do you think these rules really exist, or does she just not like me? 752 00:46:46,333 --> 00:46:49,500 Well, you know... I think she does like you, but... 753 00:46:49,750 --> 00:46:53,042 the problem is that you are not really very... 754 00:46:54,500 --> 00:46:58,042 -Not very...? -What's the word? You're not very... 755 00:46:58,208 --> 00:47:00,667 -Sexy? -Yes. That's obvious, 756 00:47:00,833 --> 00:47:05,667 but that's not what I meant. I meant... Why can't I think of the word? 757 00:47:05,833 --> 00:47:08,333 -Not successful? -Sure, but that's not... 758 00:47:08,500 --> 00:47:12,542 -Not very funny? -For sure, or you'd be more successful. 759 00:47:12,708 --> 00:47:18,042 -I meant, you're not... particularly... -Particularly interesting? 760 00:47:18,292 --> 00:47:21,167 Yes, exactly! That's the word I was looking for. 761 00:47:21,417 --> 00:47:23,750 You're not particularly interesting. 762 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:27,750 Well, you're nothing special. You're... You're... 763 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,000 You're like a blank sheet of paper. 764 00:47:30,250 --> 00:47:34,125 Or like one of those recycled sheets of paper. A gray one. 765 00:47:34,292 --> 00:47:36,375 You're like a Walmart suit. 766 00:47:36,542 --> 00:47:37,708 SHRINK TODAY 5 PM 767 00:47:37,958 --> 00:47:40,000 You can wear it, but it's not that chic. 768 00:47:40,250 --> 00:47:45,875 Or like a Fiat Punto. It's fine, but you wouldn't go on vacation in it. 769 00:47:46,125 --> 00:47:49,375 -You know, like a... -Okay, I get the gist. 770 00:47:55,500 --> 00:47:57,833 No wonder I need to see a shrink. 771 00:47:59,125 --> 00:48:03,625 I just want to help. Maybe you need to do something to spark her interest. 772 00:48:06,833 --> 00:48:10,167 -Oh, dear. -He really is building a parking garage. 773 00:48:10,792 --> 00:48:14,208 How this came about will remain our ugly little secret. 774 00:48:20,583 --> 00:48:24,583 No need to worry at all. You're not crazy. 775 00:48:24,750 --> 00:48:27,542 At least not compared to my other patients. 776 00:48:27,792 --> 00:48:32,167 One of them, for instance, actually believes he has a talking kang... 777 00:48:33,292 --> 00:48:37,292 Mr. Kling! Hello. You're here already? Come, come. 778 00:48:38,375 --> 00:48:42,292 That's great. Do you have my new CD? "The Inner Meadow?" 779 00:48:42,458 --> 00:48:45,667 I'll give you a good price if you buy the book, too. 780 00:48:45,833 --> 00:48:48,000 Please come, the clock is ticking. 781 00:48:48,167 --> 00:48:50,208 -Sure. Thank you. -No interruptions. 782 00:48:50,375 --> 00:48:54,500 -You don't believe me, do you? -Yes, I do. I live with a wildebeest. 783 00:48:56,583 --> 00:48:59,458 -I'll bring the kangaroo next time. -Great. 784 00:48:59,625 --> 00:49:04,750 Maybe also bring the March Hare, and I'll ask the Mad Hatter, 785 00:49:04,917 --> 00:49:09,583 and we'll have a wonderful tea party. Please take a seat. The clock is ticking. 786 00:49:09,750 --> 00:49:12,125 Speaking of tea parties... 787 00:49:12,708 --> 00:49:16,250 After the last session I felt so... great. 788 00:49:16,500 --> 00:49:20,833 -That's what I went to college for. -Yes, well, I wanted to give you... 789 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:24,250 No, you know I can't accept gifts from patients... 790 00:49:27,667 --> 00:49:29,833 Oh, that's very thoughtful of you. 791 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,125 If you want to, 792 00:49:31,375 --> 00:49:34,083 we could destroy the evidence right away. 793 00:49:34,250 --> 00:49:36,167 -I'll get some glasses. -Yes. 794 00:49:39,958 --> 00:49:41,333 Oh, Mr. Kling. 795 00:49:41,917 --> 00:49:43,667 I can imagine it's a big burden 796 00:49:43,833 --> 00:49:47,542 to have to listen to the psychobabble of others all day ... 797 00:49:47,708 --> 00:49:50,417 A burden? Mr. Kling, it's hell. 798 00:49:50,875 --> 00:49:53,042 Every human is an abyss. 799 00:49:53,208 --> 00:49:57,083 It makes you dizzy to look down. 800 00:50:00,917 --> 00:50:02,000 Oh, yeah? 801 00:50:23,958 --> 00:50:28,542 Last time we had to interrupt our session, because of that... 802 00:50:29,667 --> 00:50:31,000 You know, sometimes... 803 00:50:32,667 --> 00:50:35,458 you have a patient 804 00:50:35,708 --> 00:50:38,958 whose problem is quite simply... 805 00:50:40,042 --> 00:50:42,292 that he's a total asshole. 806 00:50:44,292 --> 00:50:47,667 And what kind of asshole problems do these assholes have? 807 00:50:47,833 --> 00:50:50,500 You know I'm not at liberty to tell you. 808 00:50:50,750 --> 00:50:53,375 -Just a little... -Oh, stop it. 809 00:50:53,625 --> 00:50:56,208 -No, a little bit. Just a little bit. -Look. 810 00:50:56,375 --> 00:50:57,500 Yes. 811 00:50:58,167 --> 00:51:00,583 Dwigs has the following problem. 812 00:51:01,958 --> 00:51:05,125 Friedrich-Wilhelm, can't you help me? The fridge is leaking. 813 00:51:06,625 --> 00:51:09,458 -That's not what I would call help, bro. -Right. 814 00:51:09,625 --> 00:51:12,167 Now I know Dwigs' dirty little secret. 815 00:51:12,417 --> 00:51:16,917 We just need to come up with proof and you need to hacker... hack his PC. 816 00:51:17,167 --> 00:51:19,250 -His dirty little secret? -Yes. 817 00:51:19,500 --> 00:51:21,000 Dwigs fudged a soil report. 818 00:51:21,167 --> 00:51:24,708 The soil is too sandy. The tower would cost five times as much. 819 00:51:24,958 --> 00:51:27,500 And you have to... hack into his computer. 820 00:51:27,667 --> 00:51:31,458 You think there's a folder on Dwigs' desktop called "top secret" 821 00:51:31,625 --> 00:51:35,583 containing a file called "incriminatingdocument.pdf" or what? 822 00:51:35,750 --> 00:51:37,083 Well, it's possible. 823 00:51:37,333 --> 00:51:40,292 Even if it were, how would I get a hold of his PC? 824 00:51:41,708 --> 00:51:43,792 Let's think... 825 00:51:44,417 --> 00:51:49,417 If we had a chance to sneak into Dwigs' house unnoticed... 826 00:51:50,083 --> 00:51:51,167 Maybe when... 827 00:51:52,167 --> 00:51:55,583 lots of other people are there. 828 00:51:55,750 --> 00:52:00,292 Maybe... during a party! 829 00:52:17,667 --> 00:52:22,542 This is purely a reconnaissance mission. Be as inconspicuous as possible. 830 00:52:22,708 --> 00:52:25,542 -Yeah, yeah. -Dear guests, dear friends. 831 00:52:25,792 --> 00:52:28,000 We're so happy you're all here. 832 00:52:28,250 --> 00:52:30,292 Three words I don't want to hear from you tonight: 833 00:52:30,458 --> 00:52:32,792 capitalism, swine system, Vietcong. 834 00:52:32,958 --> 00:52:33,958 I got that. 835 00:52:34,125 --> 00:52:36,583 -And no booze. -I never drink on duty. 836 00:52:36,750 --> 00:52:40,250 All I need is you Through others I see through 837 00:52:40,667 --> 00:52:43,875 You're my guiding star that I like too 838 00:52:44,125 --> 00:52:46,792 I think it was a huge mistake to bring you. 839 00:52:47,625 --> 00:52:50,500 -It was a mistake to bring YOU. -This looks good on you. 840 00:52:50,667 --> 00:52:54,792 Yeah? You look pretty nice yourself. 841 00:52:54,958 --> 00:52:57,000 Seriously, kids? Get a room. 842 00:52:57,958 --> 00:52:58,958 Good evening. 843 00:52:59,208 --> 00:53:01,000 You I will not share 844 00:53:01,167 --> 00:53:04,583 No strangers shall part us, don't they dare 845 00:53:05,750 --> 00:53:09,708 When the curtain falls With you I enjoy pause 846 00:53:09,875 --> 00:53:11,250 Oh, my God. 847 00:53:11,417 --> 00:53:15,083 My homeland, homeland that is you... 848 00:53:16,958 --> 00:53:19,583 -Homeland -Homeland, that's you 849 00:53:19,750 --> 00:53:20,750 I'm gonna barf! 850 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:24,458 Home is wherever you are 851 00:53:24,625 --> 00:53:25,708 Hello! 852 00:53:26,583 --> 00:53:29,625 My homeland, that's you... 853 00:53:29,875 --> 00:53:31,833 How does a car get into a living room? 854 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,042 -Garage lift. -That's right. 855 00:53:34,292 --> 00:53:37,375 Garage on the seventh floor. Must be pretty annoying 856 00:53:37,542 --> 00:53:39,875 when your acquaintances ask every 1st of May 857 00:53:40,042 --> 00:53:43,625 if they can park their car in your living room that night. 858 00:53:56,875 --> 00:53:58,000 Look. 859 00:53:58,250 --> 00:54:01,000 We know those guys. Our buddies. 860 00:54:01,167 --> 00:54:03,125 His office must be back there. 861 00:54:04,417 --> 00:54:06,083 Exactly! That's where I have to go. 862 00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:16,833 We need to mingle. Inconspicuously. Small talk. 863 00:54:17,083 --> 00:54:18,917 Small talk is my strong suit. 864 00:54:21,542 --> 00:54:23,292 I'll try tax havens. 865 00:54:24,292 --> 00:54:26,083 We don't want the terror 866 00:54:26,250 --> 00:54:30,833 of the radically green socialist gay-lesbian minority lobby anymore. 867 00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:34,417 The radically green socialist gay-lesbian minority lobby? 868 00:54:34,667 --> 00:54:37,000 Yes, the RGSGLML. 869 00:54:39,250 --> 00:54:44,167 You do know that our skies are sprayed extensively with toxic chemicals? 870 00:54:44,417 --> 00:54:48,833 -No. -Here you see the so-called chemtrails. 871 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,333 They're trying to make the German people infertile. 872 00:54:54,875 --> 00:54:57,500 How can I invest my money politically correct, 873 00:54:57,667 --> 00:55:00,125 that is in a right-wing nationalist cause? 874 00:55:00,375 --> 00:55:03,083 -Let me help you. -The answer: our new equity fund. 875 00:55:03,333 --> 00:55:07,833 In our portfolio there are only companies that use child and slave labor 876 00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,667 in third world countries for their production. 877 00:55:10,833 --> 00:55:14,042 And how is that different to a normal equity fund? 878 00:55:16,042 --> 00:55:17,875 Here, hold this for a second. 879 00:55:18,042 --> 00:55:20,875 It's gotten so bad that you hardly find 880 00:55:21,125 --> 00:55:23,875 someone around here who talks properly German. 881 00:55:24,125 --> 00:55:28,750 -I feel pushed to the edge. You know? -Yeah, we know. 882 00:55:31,292 --> 00:55:32,708 There you are, you four. 883 00:55:32,875 --> 00:55:36,917 - I don't know how to get past those guys. -You have to distract them. 884 00:55:37,167 --> 00:55:39,500 -Why me? -That's a stage, right? 885 00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,000 -Yes! -No, no. 886 00:55:41,167 --> 00:55:44,042 -Which one of us is the hobby artist? -I'm not a hobby artist. 887 00:55:44,292 --> 00:55:46,917 You're gonna go up there now and sing a song. 888 00:55:47,083 --> 00:55:49,042 One that everyone has to listen to. 889 00:55:49,292 --> 00:55:51,875 How about your pretty radical protest song? 890 00:55:52,042 --> 00:55:55,250 -Guys, are you messing with me? -No. You can do it. 891 00:55:58,000 --> 00:55:59,667 -Excuse me. -Me, too. 892 00:56:00,292 --> 00:56:02,583 Or play a Village People song. 893 00:56:03,208 --> 00:56:05,833 -Black-brown is the hazelnut in E. -Hello? Excuse me. 894 00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:07,417 -Yes? 895 00:56:08,167 --> 00:56:09,833 -I'm Marc-Uwe. -Hi. 896 00:56:10,083 --> 00:56:13,917 -I'd like to sing for Jörg. -That's not gonna work... 897 00:56:14,083 --> 00:56:15,083 Okay... 898 00:56:17,917 --> 00:56:19,042 Hello. 899 00:56:24,083 --> 00:56:29,167 Well, you all look like a crowd who really like to tag along. 900 00:56:29,417 --> 00:56:32,250 I mean, sing along. Let's do it. 901 00:56:32,500 --> 00:56:34,667 -We have a problem. -It's really hard to try not to quit 902 00:56:34,917 --> 00:56:38,625 An endless debate with a pile of shit 903 00:56:38,792 --> 00:56:43,083 -Ups... watch your step. -You kept on having them come by 904 00:56:44,250 --> 00:56:47,375 To each and every talk show To give it a try 905 00:56:47,542 --> 00:56:50,917 And it's mostly a Nazi acting tough 906 00:56:51,167 --> 00:56:55,625 Talking all bullshit but now it's enough! It's enough! 907 00:56:56,458 --> 00:56:58,917 -Need help with the password? -Don't need one. 908 00:56:59,083 --> 00:57:00,458 Why not? 909 00:57:00,708 --> 00:57:04,750 Most versions of Windows have a weak spot, and when booting up... 910 00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,000 -Are you really interested? -No. 911 00:57:07,750 --> 00:57:11,167 Enough! We've had enough 912 00:57:11,333 --> 00:57:14,292 It's over now, it's over now... 913 00:57:15,250 --> 00:57:18,250 -Seriously? -One, two, three, four. 914 00:57:19,417 --> 00:57:20,542 No. 915 00:57:21,875 --> 00:57:23,875 19-33... 916 00:57:26,833 --> 00:57:29,708 Hey, you again! Take me! Take me with you! 917 00:57:29,958 --> 00:57:31,417 You assholes! 918 00:57:34,750 --> 00:57:35,792 That's enough! 919 00:57:36,042 --> 00:57:38,000 Thank you very much, that was... 920 00:57:38,625 --> 00:57:41,833 I'll go secure the grape trout, I mean, the escape route. 921 00:57:42,083 --> 00:57:45,292 -Thanks to this untalented artist. -I'm still working on it... 922 00:57:45,542 --> 00:57:47,042 -Ouch! -It's enough now! 923 00:57:51,375 --> 00:57:55,167 Capitalism! Swine system! Vietcong! 924 00:57:55,333 --> 00:57:56,667 What are you doing? 925 00:57:56,833 --> 00:57:59,750 We're getting outta here! To the elevator. Buckle up! 926 00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,125 Oh, God! 927 00:58:02,750 --> 00:58:05,583 -By the way, I can't drive. -Where's the remote? 928 00:58:05,833 --> 00:58:07,708 -For the elevator? -Let's go! 929 00:58:08,292 --> 00:58:09,875 Have they gone crazy? 930 00:58:16,125 --> 00:58:17,875 What are you doing? We're on the 7th floor! 931 00:58:18,125 --> 00:58:20,500 No one likes nagging passengers. 932 00:58:44,333 --> 00:58:45,542 That's enough! 933 00:58:50,500 --> 00:58:54,167 -Stop. -Hey. Good thing you're here. 934 00:58:54,417 --> 00:58:58,458 I'd like a vegetarian Big Mac and sweet potato fries. And you? 935 00:58:58,958 --> 00:59:01,875 -I just want a soda. -He just wants a soda. 936 00:59:02,042 --> 00:59:03,750 To go, please! 937 00:59:07,292 --> 00:59:08,917 Number two. 938 00:59:15,292 --> 00:59:19,417 That's just great. I can't find anything on kangaroos here. 939 00:59:20,417 --> 00:59:25,125 I still request to have them both taken into immediate custody. 940 00:59:25,292 --> 00:59:30,083 There is a flight risk... danger of collusion and danger of re-offense. 941 00:59:30,250 --> 00:59:33,792 Do you really think the kangaroo will drive a sports car into a pool again? 942 00:59:33,958 --> 00:59:36,542 I regret nothing. I would do it all again any time. 943 00:59:38,125 --> 00:59:41,583 Oh, why do I always get these frickin' cases? 944 00:59:42,250 --> 00:59:45,708 -It's making me miserable. -Have you tried alcohol? 945 00:59:47,458 --> 00:59:51,333 Of course. But let me tell you, that's no long-term solution. 946 00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:55,042 - I still request custody because I... -Yes, all right. 947 00:59:55,292 --> 00:59:58,792 But where should we put the kangaroo? I called the zoo... 948 00:59:58,958 --> 01:00:01,792 Excuse me, am I hearing right, you fascist? 949 01:00:02,667 --> 01:00:05,417 I think the most appropriate thing here 950 01:00:05,583 --> 01:00:08,417 would be negligence of duties as a pet owner... 951 01:00:08,583 --> 01:00:11,208 But it's not my kangaroo. 952 01:00:11,458 --> 01:00:15,500 I refuse to acknowledge this court if it doesn't acknowledge me! 953 01:00:15,750 --> 01:00:18,708 -Fucking class justice! -Now that really does it! 954 01:00:19,833 --> 01:00:23,958 Custody as a result of negligence of your duties as a pet owner. 955 01:00:24,125 --> 01:00:27,792 -Bail is 5,000 euros. -This is about criminal damage... 956 01:00:30,292 --> 01:00:32,125 10,000 euros. 957 01:00:32,375 --> 01:00:36,167 -Teach your kangaroo some respect. -It's not mine. It owns itself. 958 01:00:36,333 --> 01:00:38,875 It's pretty touchy when it comes to ownership... 959 01:00:39,042 --> 01:00:42,417 I don't mind class justice. I mind the class that's judging. 960 01:00:42,667 --> 01:00:44,917 Show some respect for the court. 961 01:00:45,167 --> 01:00:46,833 No respect for bullshit! 962 01:00:48,250 --> 01:00:49,708 Bail is 20,000 euros. 963 01:00:49,958 --> 01:00:52,125 Don't say anything. Just be quiet. 964 01:00:52,292 --> 01:00:54,417 History will absolve me. 965 01:00:54,667 --> 01:00:57,250 You're safe, asshole. They're after me. 966 01:00:57,500 --> 01:00:59,833 -Really? -Yes, of course. 967 01:01:02,125 --> 01:01:05,208 So that means... I'm free to go? 968 01:01:05,458 --> 01:01:06,667 -No! -Yes. 969 01:01:08,792 --> 01:01:11,083 I see. All right. 970 01:01:12,042 --> 01:01:16,667 I'm happy we found a solution which works for everyone. 971 01:01:46,292 --> 01:01:49,500 It's... very tastefully furnished. 972 01:02:12,792 --> 01:02:14,417 Kling. Follow me! 973 01:02:18,792 --> 01:02:21,458 -Your lawyer is here. -My lawyer? 974 01:02:23,500 --> 01:02:26,000 I'd like to state that that's not my lawyer. 975 01:02:26,167 --> 01:02:30,375 Nonsense! As your lawyer, I advise you to use your right to remain silent. 976 01:02:30,542 --> 01:02:34,458 I request to annul my client's arrest warrant immediately. 977 01:02:34,625 --> 01:02:37,417 -But why? -On the basis of new facts. 978 01:02:37,583 --> 01:02:38,750 Which new facts? 979 01:02:38,917 --> 01:02:41,542 You may have learned from the press 980 01:02:41,708 --> 01:02:45,750 that the plaintiff, Jörg Dwigs, didn't have a building permission 981 01:02:45,917 --> 01:02:48,917 for his car elevator or his roof terrace pool. 982 01:02:49,083 --> 01:02:54,667 Legally speaking, there was no car in the living room of the apartment 983 01:02:54,917 --> 01:03:00,167 or a pool on the roof terrace. Therefore, my client is only responsible 984 01:03:00,333 --> 01:03:02,167 for his... for his... 985 01:03:03,833 --> 01:03:08,375 pet driving something that didn't exist into something that wasn't there. 986 01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:12,500 Legally speaking, nothing happened at all. 987 01:03:13,083 --> 01:03:14,500 Am I right? 988 01:03:38,958 --> 01:03:39,917 PRESS 989 01:03:42,917 --> 01:03:44,833 No, no. Show me again. 990 01:03:46,542 --> 01:03:48,333 -So this is a hologram? -Yep. 991 01:03:48,500 --> 01:03:50,333 -Can you do something with it? -I can try. 992 01:03:50,500 --> 01:03:54,167 And there was nothing else on his PC? No incriminating documents? Nothing? 993 01:03:54,333 --> 01:03:55,333 Nothing. 994 01:03:58,167 --> 01:03:59,625 I have a plan. 995 01:04:00,500 --> 01:04:03,333 - I was afraid you would say that. -We'll need a team. 996 01:04:04,792 --> 01:04:08,958 What are your specialties? Can you fly? Make yourselves invisible? 997 01:04:09,208 --> 01:04:11,500 -Make funny voices? -What does it want? 998 01:04:11,750 --> 01:04:16,875 -Maybe a punch in the face. -That's the right attitude. You're in. 999 01:04:17,042 --> 01:04:21,042 All I can say is there are these and those real estate investors, 1000 01:04:21,208 --> 01:04:23,167 and some completely different. 1001 01:04:23,333 --> 01:04:26,458 -Those are the worst. -I don't follow. 1002 01:04:26,625 --> 01:04:29,958 Don't worry, young lady. Not everyone can be a bright spark. 1003 01:04:30,125 --> 01:04:32,500 Some have to make do with a low-energy light bulb. 1004 01:04:32,667 --> 01:04:34,417 Congrats. You made the team. 1005 01:04:35,167 --> 01:04:36,500 What team? 1006 01:04:37,250 --> 01:04:41,750 -How long do I have to sit here, Mom? -What makes this applicant special? 1007 01:04:42,167 --> 01:04:43,583 He's very loyal. 1008 01:04:45,042 --> 01:04:46,917 And I don't have a babysitter. 1009 01:04:47,500 --> 01:04:50,333 All right. We just need one more. 1010 01:04:52,125 --> 01:04:54,708 Kling. You can go. 1011 01:04:54,875 --> 01:04:57,292 Did my lawyer swing it? 1012 01:04:57,750 --> 01:04:59,458 No, someone paid your bail. 1013 01:05:01,417 --> 01:05:02,875 You paid my bail? 1014 01:05:03,583 --> 01:05:07,125 No. Show him what we did. No more hobby art. 1015 01:05:07,792 --> 01:05:10,042 -I'm not talking to you. -Show him. 1016 01:05:10,208 --> 01:05:13,208 We posted this online and said it was an art performance. 1017 01:05:13,458 --> 01:05:15,750 We got your bail through crowdfunding. 1018 01:05:15,917 --> 01:05:18,750 You're a bit famous now, for "professional” art on a big scale. 1019 01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,958 The counterattack of the Antisocial Network will be epic. 1020 01:05:22,125 --> 01:05:26,750 -We're planning an anti-terror attack... - I don't want to be part of your attack. 1021 01:05:26,917 --> 01:05:28,542 Because somehow I have the feeling 1022 01:05:28,792 --> 01:05:33,208 that whenever you have an idea, I get punched in the face. And that's... 1023 01:05:33,708 --> 01:05:35,917 -...not good. -Why are you mad at me? 1024 01:05:36,083 --> 01:05:37,917 Why? I just told you. 1025 01:05:38,833 --> 01:05:41,333 -But... -You said to vent my emotions. 1026 01:05:41,500 --> 01:05:44,750 -Well, here they are. -Yes, but not on me. 1027 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:47,500 Guys, we only have an hour. Get a move on! 1028 01:05:49,875 --> 01:05:52,333 EUROPATOWER LAUNCH CEREMONY 1029 01:05:54,125 --> 01:05:56,708 -Are you worried, honey bunny? -No. 1030 01:05:58,500 --> 01:06:01,250 Jörg Dwigs doesn't worry. 1031 01:06:03,083 --> 01:06:04,875 My luck won't run out. 1032 01:06:06,750 --> 01:06:12,125 Did I get this right? We know his dirty little secret, but we don't have proof? 1033 01:06:12,292 --> 01:06:15,750 We don't need any. We're living in a post-factual age. 1034 01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:18,833 -What's that? -We'll just claim we have proof. 1035 01:06:19,083 --> 01:06:20,500 During the ceremony. 1036 01:06:20,667 --> 01:06:23,875 I'll secretly knock out the architect and give his speech. 1037 01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:27,542 Well, I think we look pretty similar. 1038 01:06:30,708 --> 01:06:33,667 So, does everyone know what they are supposed to do? 1039 01:06:33,833 --> 01:06:34,958 I thought so. 1040 01:06:35,208 --> 01:06:38,625 That's why I prepared some handouts. Pass these around, please. 1041 01:06:39,250 --> 01:06:41,917 I even came up with a logo. It's very pretty. 1042 01:06:42,542 --> 01:06:44,458 -Have you got one for him? -Nope. 1043 01:06:45,208 --> 01:06:48,708 He's not coming. I don't know why he's here. 1044 01:06:48,958 --> 01:06:52,583 -You're not coming? -No. I'll be watching with goodwill, 1045 01:06:52,750 --> 01:06:55,292 but this time someone else can get his face punched! 1046 01:06:55,458 --> 01:06:57,417 -Schmock. -And also, I have a migraine. 1047 01:06:57,667 --> 01:06:59,458 Good thing we got you out of jail. 1048 01:06:59,708 --> 01:07:01,500 -Our hero. -I don't need this. 1049 01:07:01,667 --> 01:07:03,208 Go on then. Leave! 1050 01:07:03,458 --> 01:07:06,000 -Stay, Marc-Uwe. -You go ahead. 1051 01:07:06,250 --> 01:07:07,583 Bye now. 1052 01:07:08,208 --> 01:07:10,750 Okay, look at your handouts. Soon it's showtime. 1053 01:07:14,792 --> 01:07:17,458 -Thank you. -Madame Le Pen, s'il vous plait. 1054 01:07:34,208 --> 01:07:36,833 -What's going on? -We need to get through. 1055 01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:38,250 -Where? -There. 1056 01:07:38,417 --> 01:07:40,500 -No, there. -What are you talking about? 1057 01:07:40,750 --> 01:07:43,792 -We can't get into the compound. -Too much security. 1058 01:07:43,958 --> 01:07:46,500 So we thought we'd go through the wall. 1059 01:07:46,750 --> 01:07:48,292 You're joking. 1060 01:07:48,542 --> 01:07:52,125 -It was all in the handout. -That's it. Go for it. 1061 01:07:53,542 --> 01:07:56,292 Come on! 1062 01:07:59,167 --> 01:08:00,417 Hi. 1063 01:08:03,250 --> 01:08:05,750 -It's that wall after all. -So I was right! 1064 01:08:12,125 --> 01:08:15,917 Excuse me, guys. Why didn't you punch a hole in your own wall? 1065 01:08:16,167 --> 01:08:19,000 Are you nuts? We wouldn't make a hole in our store. 1066 01:08:19,167 --> 01:08:20,958 Yeah, that makes sense. 1067 01:08:34,167 --> 01:08:37,083 -Can you at least keep an eye on Jesus? -Sure. 1068 01:08:38,625 --> 01:08:42,917 Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming Jörg Dwigs! 1069 01:08:47,750 --> 01:08:49,042 Thank you. 1070 01:08:49,750 --> 01:08:54,292 Dear friends, fellow citizens, patriots. 1071 01:08:55,167 --> 01:09:00,042 Today is the first day... of the next 1,000 years. 1072 01:09:00,292 --> 01:09:02,750 What a dumb thing to say. 1073 01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:05,625 Tomorrow will also be the first day of the next 1,000 years. 1074 01:09:05,792 --> 01:09:07,250 The day after tomorrow, too. 1075 01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:12,875 I from our neighboring European countries. 1076 01:09:13,042 --> 01:09:14,417 Who invited them? 1077 01:09:15,125 --> 01:09:18,625 Excuse me, buddy. We're the Turkish delegates. 1078 01:09:18,875 --> 01:09:20,625 We're nationalists, too! 1079 01:09:20,875 --> 01:09:24,625 Suppress minorities, lock up dissidents, deny genocide... 1080 01:09:24,875 --> 01:09:26,375 We do it as well as you do. 1081 01:09:26,625 --> 01:09:30,625 ...those ladies and gentlemen of the lying press. 1082 01:09:33,042 --> 01:09:35,708 Dear friends, here it is: 1083 01:09:36,250 --> 01:09:38,000 the Europatower! 1084 01:10:00,250 --> 01:10:02,917 Today we put an end to egalitarianism! 1085 01:10:04,250 --> 01:10:07,958 Knock, knock. Excuse me, is that the new Holomaxx 30007 1086 01:10:08,708 --> 01:10:10,125 Yes. 1087 01:10:11,417 --> 01:10:15,333 Nationalism leads to hatred and violence, say our enemies. 1088 01:10:15,500 --> 01:10:18,292 This accusation is completely unfounded. 1089 01:10:18,958 --> 01:10:22,167 -It's an awesome machine. -Could you show me? 1090 01:10:22,417 --> 01:10:24,125 Yes, it's new for us, too. 1091 01:10:24,708 --> 01:10:29,292 We were going to work with the HoloPlus 2.0, but... 1092 01:10:29,542 --> 01:10:31,500 ...we have common enemies. 1093 01:10:31,667 --> 01:10:36,208 The Chinese, the Islamists, Brussels! 1094 01:10:37,500 --> 01:10:42,708 But we'll show them all that international nationalism can work. 1095 01:10:42,958 --> 01:10:44,750 Here, let Kevin know. 1096 01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,500 That was not the plan. 1097 01:10:49,208 --> 01:10:53,708 I'm proud to be the leader of this great movement. 1098 01:10:59,875 --> 01:11:02,083 And let me tell you something else. 1099 01:11:02,833 --> 01:11:07,375 You can be proud to have me as your leader. 1100 01:11:07,542 --> 01:11:08,542 Go on. Start. 1101 01:11:09,292 --> 01:11:10,750 Have you heard? 1102 01:11:20,958 --> 01:11:22,667 ...working men and women... 1103 01:11:22,917 --> 01:11:24,458 And with the split... 1104 01:11:26,750 --> 01:11:30,292 in the 61 divider we were able to generate enough lumen. 1105 01:11:30,542 --> 01:11:32,458 Are you really interested? 1106 01:11:33,417 --> 01:11:34,500 Totally. 1107 01:11:34,750 --> 01:11:37,417 Jörg Dwigs will never lie to you. 1108 01:11:37,667 --> 01:11:41,750 He will lead you to victory! Ladies and gentlemen! 1109 01:11:42,667 --> 01:11:44,000 Help! Let me out! 1110 01:11:44,167 --> 01:11:49,583 Before I hand over to the architect of this symbol of our power... 1111 01:11:50,250 --> 01:11:53,875 let me say once again that I am indeed glad 1112 01:11:54,042 --> 01:11:56,708 that we have overcome our differences... 1113 01:11:58,042 --> 01:12:02,000 so that we can serve Western culture together. 1114 01:12:02,625 --> 01:12:04,917 Analogue, converted... 1115 01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:11,375 Oot scover. 1116 01:12:12,417 --> 01:12:13,708 Did I just say that? 1117 01:12:13,958 --> 01:12:18,833 ...to introduce you to the architect of the Europatower: 1118 01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:20,833 Albrecht Schuster! 1119 01:12:35,708 --> 01:12:38,583 Yes. I'm the architect. 1120 01:12:41,833 --> 01:12:43,125 I'm the architect. 1121 01:12:43,875 --> 01:12:47,583 And I'm very happy about your interest and our... your... 1122 01:12:50,708 --> 01:12:52,167 I'm the architect. 1123 01:12:56,250 --> 01:12:58,208 -Hang on a minute. -He lied to you. 1124 01:12:58,458 --> 01:13:01,792 -He fudged a soil report... -Get that man off of there! 1125 01:13:02,042 --> 01:13:05,042 Berlin's soil is too sandy. It will cost much more. 1126 01:13:05,292 --> 01:13:07,833 -Let the man speak! -Give me the mic. 1127 01:13:08,083 --> 01:13:10,708 We want to hear what he has to say! 1128 01:13:13,125 --> 01:13:16,208 It will take longer to build than the Cologne Cathedral! 1129 01:13:16,458 --> 01:13:19,375 The way Dwigs plans to build it, it will collapse! 1130 01:13:19,625 --> 01:13:23,458 -Nothing will collapse. -We'll see about that. 1131 01:13:23,625 --> 01:13:25,125 Stay calm, okay? 1132 01:13:28,458 --> 01:13:31,542 If we start running, they'll be dumb enough to follow us. 1133 01:13:33,792 --> 01:13:36,708 Oh my God! Help! Help! 1134 01:13:36,958 --> 01:13:39,417 The tower is collapsing! 1135 01:13:58,625 --> 01:14:00,125 Jeanette! 1136 01:14:05,333 --> 01:14:06,833 Help! 1137 01:14:08,250 --> 01:14:10,000 What are you doing to me? 1138 01:14:10,167 --> 01:14:12,417 Help! Help! 1139 01:14:14,875 --> 01:14:16,292 Who's there? 1140 01:14:16,542 --> 01:14:18,375 Stop! What's happening? 1141 01:14:19,875 --> 01:14:22,167 I was in complete control of the situation. 1142 01:14:22,833 --> 01:14:24,083 Yeah, sure. 1143 01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:27,000 Thanks. 1144 01:14:28,542 --> 01:14:29,792 What did you just say? 1145 01:14:31,208 --> 01:14:32,750 You heard me. 1146 01:14:38,792 --> 01:14:40,833 What an absolute disaster! 1147 01:14:42,750 --> 01:14:44,292 It was all for show. 1148 01:14:45,458 --> 01:14:48,083 If they had proof, they'd have shown it. 1149 01:14:48,917 --> 01:14:50,208 It's all lies. 1150 01:14:51,208 --> 01:14:52,292 As usual. 1151 01:15:27,958 --> 01:15:30,708 This is another one of those right moments. 1152 01:15:37,417 --> 01:15:38,667 Go on! 1153 01:15:50,042 --> 01:15:52,458 | think I've earned the right to hear your rules. 1154 01:15:52,708 --> 01:15:53,833 I see. 1155 01:16:00,208 --> 01:16:01,875 First, no friends. 1156 01:16:03,292 --> 01:16:05,958 We're not friends. I hardly know you. 1157 01:16:06,208 --> 01:16:10,958 -I wouldn't say we're friends in any way. -Second, no one without kids of his own. 1158 01:16:11,208 --> 01:16:13,333 I have a kangaroo. That's just as good. 1159 01:16:20,667 --> 01:16:23,167 Third, no artists. 1160 01:16:23,417 --> 01:16:27,333 But I'm not really a proper artist. I'm more of a... 1161 01:16:27,792 --> 01:16:31,750 -A hobby artist, right? -Herta, this is a private conversation. 1162 01:16:32,000 --> 01:16:33,708 There's no such thing in my bar. 1163 01:16:39,667 --> 01:16:42,167 Four, no one from the same building. 1164 01:16:42,667 --> 01:16:44,167 Well, that sucks... 1165 01:16:47,042 --> 01:16:48,333 Guys, go inside. 1166 01:16:49,333 --> 01:16:51,208 I think rules are overrated. 1167 01:16:51,375 --> 01:16:53,458 They're not really rules. 1168 01:16:54,125 --> 01:16:56,958 They're more like temporary guidelines. 1169 01:16:57,583 --> 01:16:59,542 Do you wanna go out dancing? 1170 01:17:15,833 --> 01:17:18,000 Attention! Attention! 1171 01:17:19,625 --> 01:17:22,875 This is your last chance to give us... 1172 01:17:23,500 --> 01:17:26,167 -What was this about again? -A rabbit's foot. 1173 01:17:26,333 --> 01:17:28,500 I feel ridiculous saying that. 1174 01:17:28,667 --> 01:17:30,083 Do it already! 1175 01:17:30,333 --> 01:17:33,708 This is your last chance to give us... 1176 01:17:33,958 --> 01:17:37,417 the rabbit's foot voluntarily. 1177 01:17:37,583 --> 01:17:40,458 You stole the rabbit's foot again? Unbelievable. 1178 01:17:40,708 --> 01:17:42,750 I couldn't resist. 1179 01:17:43,000 --> 01:17:44,875 What are you waiting for? 1180 01:17:45,042 --> 01:17:47,125 Go get that damn lucky charm! 1181 01:17:47,292 --> 01:17:49,667 We'll give it back and that's the end of it. 1182 01:17:49,833 --> 01:17:52,000 -No. Never! -Give it to me. 1183 01:17:52,250 --> 01:17:53,375 Let go. Let go! 1184 01:17:57,292 --> 01:17:58,542 Check it out. 1185 01:17:58,792 --> 01:18:00,125 What is it? 1186 01:18:01,667 --> 01:18:04,750 If you ask me, it's evidence. Keep them off my back! 1187 01:18:05,375 --> 01:18:07,375 Jesus, come, quick! 1188 01:18:10,833 --> 01:18:12,375 Oh, good Lord. 1189 01:18:15,667 --> 01:18:17,792 Dear patient... 1190 01:18:17,958 --> 01:18:19,833 Think of your migraine 1191 01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:24,042 as an annoying aunt, who comes to visit every once in a while. 1192 01:18:24,208 --> 01:18:26,208 Close your eyes... 1193 01:18:34,250 --> 01:18:35,625 FILES ENCRYPTED 1194 01:18:38,583 --> 01:18:39,583 DECODING DATA... 1195 01:18:39,750 --> 01:18:41,917 -This will hurt. -Yeah, this will hurt. 1196 01:18:42,083 --> 01:18:43,458 Oh, God. 1197 01:18:44,417 --> 01:18:46,125 Don't worry. 1198 01:18:54,542 --> 01:18:56,875 -Where's the rabbit's foot? -Tell her! 1199 01:18:58,333 --> 01:19:01,167 You may think you're tough, but I'm tougher! 1200 01:19:02,625 --> 01:19:03,625 DECODING DATA... 1201 01:19:03,875 --> 01:19:08,000 ...your inner meadow is like a mountain meadow... 1202 01:19:11,750 --> 01:19:13,458 -Awesome. -Super special move. 1203 01:19:14,667 --> 01:19:18,875 -Okay, Otto, what do we do now? -What any decent German would do. 1204 01:19:19,042 --> 01:19:21,458 Gotcha. We'll go out and beat them up. 1205 01:19:21,625 --> 01:19:23,458 No, we'll call the cops. 1206 01:19:27,542 --> 01:19:30,708 Welcome to Berlin's Police Service. 1207 01:19:32,292 --> 01:19:33,542 I don't bloody believe it. 1208 01:19:34,583 --> 01:19:39,000 If you have witnessed a murder, please press one. 1209 01:19:39,250 --> 01:19:43,292 If you were murdered yourself, please press two. 1210 01:19:43,542 --> 01:19:44,792 And off you go. 1211 01:19:49,583 --> 01:19:51,000 You? Here? 1212 01:19:51,167 --> 01:19:53,208 Well, I'll be a donkey's uncle! 1213 01:19:54,083 --> 01:19:57,208 If you have murdered someone, please press three 1214 01:19:57,375 --> 01:20:00,083 and leave your confession after the tone. 1215 01:20:00,333 --> 01:20:02,500 This is a conversation. And you're no party of it. 1216 01:20:03,708 --> 01:20:04,792 Get out, miss. 1217 01:20:04,958 --> 01:20:06,083 Are you nuts? 1218 01:20:06,250 --> 01:20:08,042 Take that, Lumpenproletariat! 1219 01:20:08,208 --> 01:20:12,250 You can't call them that. They're just victims of their own circumstance. 1220 01:20:12,417 --> 01:20:13,417 Who isn't? 1221 01:20:13,583 --> 01:20:16,542 What's direct physical violence of individuals 1222 01:20:16,792 --> 01:20:19,792 next to the omnipresent structural violence of society? 1223 01:20:19,958 --> 01:20:21,250 Say good night, loser! 1224 01:20:22,625 --> 01:20:26,458 If your bicycle was stolen, that's tough luck, I'm afraid. 1225 01:20:26,625 --> 01:20:27,958 I'll go and beat them up. 1226 01:20:28,125 --> 01:20:32,917 Please note that there may be additional charges for cell phone calls. 1227 01:20:33,167 --> 01:20:35,583 A tiny bird... 1228 01:20:35,833 --> 01:20:39,333 suddenly lands on your belly. 1229 01:20:42,875 --> 01:20:44,792 Where's the rabbit's foot? 1230 01:20:45,417 --> 01:20:46,917 DECODING DATA... 100% 1231 01:20:50,792 --> 01:20:51,875 Okay, young man! 1232 01:20:54,292 --> 01:20:56,875 Bud Spencer's sledge hammer! 1233 01:20:57,500 --> 01:20:58,833 Jesus, come here. 1234 01:21:05,167 --> 01:21:08,125 Okay, guys. Who has the rabbit's foot? 1235 01:21:08,708 --> 01:21:10,125 The rabbit's foot! 1236 01:21:12,042 --> 01:21:13,625 Just great. 1237 01:21:14,458 --> 01:21:17,875 Too late. It's all been released to the press. 1238 01:21:19,792 --> 01:21:22,500 The sun is shining and warming you... 1239 01:21:26,500 --> 01:21:27,667 I love you. 1240 01:21:27,833 --> 01:21:30,958 -Move it, or else! -We're an invincible pair. 1241 01:21:32,333 --> 01:21:35,208 You're screwed, Jörg. It's all out. 1242 01:21:36,750 --> 01:21:39,958 You're no longer acceptable to the Party or to me. 1243 01:22:05,917 --> 01:22:07,292 Goodbye, rat hole! 1244 01:22:20,208 --> 01:22:22,167 Leave our house alone, asshole! 1245 01:22:22,417 --> 01:22:25,042 What the hell is that thing doing on the digger? 1246 01:22:25,292 --> 01:22:27,542 Stop! Or I'll be really unpleasant! 1247 01:22:29,208 --> 01:22:30,458 Check it out! 1248 01:22:32,958 --> 01:22:35,708 -Stop swaying! -Stop! 1249 01:22:36,375 --> 01:22:38,292 Are you out of your mind? 1250 01:22:39,500 --> 01:22:42,375 - I feel sick. -Stop it, asshole! 1251 01:22:48,083 --> 01:22:50,542 That's it! Number three. 1252 01:23:04,458 --> 01:23:06,208 Hey, colleagues. I'm an informer. 1253 01:23:06,375 --> 01:23:07,917 -You're what? -An informer. 1254 01:23:08,083 --> 01:23:10,167 -Yeah, sure. -Secret Police. 1255 01:23:10,333 --> 01:23:11,333 Stop. 1256 01:23:11,500 --> 01:23:15,667 -Why are you stopping the film? -The baddies get arrested. That's boring. 1257 01:23:15,833 --> 01:23:18,333 -I'll fast-forward. -No! Give me the remote. 1258 01:23:18,500 --> 01:23:19,875 -Let go! -Press play! 1259 01:23:21,125 --> 01:23:24,125 Well, that went quite well, didn't it? 1260 01:23:27,583 --> 01:23:29,250 Never ever do that again. 1261 01:23:34,833 --> 01:23:36,333 Come here, sweetheart. 1262 01:23:53,500 --> 01:23:54,500 Yeah... 1263 01:24:01,250 --> 01:24:02,417 See you around. 1264 01:24:06,875 --> 01:24:09,167 "Yeah... See you around?" 1265 01:24:09,333 --> 01:24:11,292 -Yep. -Seriously, dude? 1266 01:24:11,958 --> 01:24:13,625 That was your chance. 1267 01:24:13,792 --> 01:24:16,375 That would have been too cheesy. No way. 1268 01:24:16,542 --> 01:24:19,333 -Oh, dude. Cheesy? -Yes. Next time. 1269 01:24:19,500 --> 01:24:21,167 What? Next time? Right. 1270 01:24:25,083 --> 01:24:28,625 Why did you jump onto the shovel of that excavator? 1271 01:24:28,792 --> 01:24:30,375 I wanted to save the house. 1272 01:24:30,542 --> 01:24:33,500 -If you think about it... -That's on my not-to-do list. 1273 01:24:33,667 --> 01:24:36,417 -You have to admit... -That's also on my not-to-do list. 1274 01:24:36,583 --> 01:24:38,833 ...that it was a pretty daring stunt. 1275 01:24:39,000 --> 01:24:40,625 You weren't worried, were you? 1276 01:24:40,792 --> 01:24:43,042 I've been nothing but worried since I met you. 1277 01:24:43,208 --> 01:24:44,958 You were worried? About me? 1278 01:24:45,125 --> 01:24:49,083 I knew right away we'd be friends. You were worried! 1279 01:24:49,250 --> 01:24:52,042 Yes, I may have been a little worried. 1280 01:24:52,208 --> 01:24:55,750 Totally unfounded. I was in complete control of the situation. 1281 01:24:58,750 --> 01:25:02,792 -You were worried about me! -Look, the sunrise is way too cheesy. 1282 01:25:02,958 --> 01:25:04,750 -That's a no-go. -It's terrible! 1283 01:25:04,917 --> 01:25:06,167 Almost embarrassing. 1284 01:25:44,083 --> 01:25:48,458 I really don't know why I'm here. I'm not the crazy victim of the system. 1285 01:25:48,625 --> 01:25:52,583 That's exactly what I mean. You're totally inconsiderate. 1286 01:25:52,750 --> 01:25:57,292 I think we should talk openly about this with a neutral referee. 1287 01:25:57,458 --> 01:26:00,417 I don't see how he can be neutral if you pay him. 1288 01:26:00,667 --> 01:26:02,542 You're welcome to pay half. 1289 01:26:02,792 --> 01:26:04,958 -That would be even better. -Well? 1290 01:26:05,458 --> 01:26:07,625 Mr. Hobby Artist. 1291 01:26:09,792 --> 01:26:14,958 Hello. I've put the kettle on for us, if you don't mind. 1292 01:26:15,750 --> 01:26:19,500 Tell me, how is our kangaroo doing today? 1293 01:26:20,667 --> 01:26:22,542 Why don't you ask it yourself? 1294 01:26:25,250 --> 01:26:27,458 Ask the kangaroo how it is. 1295 01:26:28,917 --> 01:26:30,583 What kangaroo? 1296 01:26:30,750 --> 01:26:32,042 No, no, no! 1297 01:26:32,625 --> 01:26:35,708 I don't see any kangaroo, I don't see any kangaroo... 1298 01:26:35,875 --> 01:26:39,292 -Yes, it's right there. -There's no one there, Mr. Kling. 1299 01:26:40,292 --> 01:26:42,625 He needs a shrink even more than you do. 1300 01:26:42,792 --> 01:26:45,250 -What did you say? - I didn't say anything. 1301 01:26:45,500 --> 01:26:46,833 Don't be ridiculous. 1302 01:26:47,000 --> 01:26:49,333 You know full well... 1303 01:26:51,125 --> 01:26:56,000 that this is a figment of your imagination, this stupid kangaroo. 1304 01:28:30,375 --> 01:28:32,833 Following scandals about goon squads, 1305 01:28:33,000 --> 01:28:36,333 fudged reports and black monies in off-shore accounts, 1306 01:28:36,500 --> 01:28:37,792 Our Homeland Inc., 1307 01:28:37,958 --> 01:28:41,292 led by real estate magnate Jörg Dwigs, got on a downward spiral 1308 01:28:41,458 --> 01:28:44,208 and was purchased by an investor today. 1309 01:28:44,375 --> 01:28:48,667 The new owner assured all tenants he would take care of all the problems. 1310 01:28:49,292 --> 01:28:52,208 We are joined by him today. 1311 01:31:45,542 --> 01:31:47,417 Awesome ending, really. 1312 01:31:47,792 --> 01:31:52,083 Yes, it would have been a good ending, but you always make a comment. 1313 01:31:52,250 --> 01:31:54,375 You always have to have the last word. 1314 01:32:00,083 --> 01:32:01,417 No, [ don't 1315 01:32:01,583 --> 01:32:05,000 Subtitles: Synchron- und Tonstudio Leipzig GmbH, 2020 94723