All language subtitles for CatchiUp.2020.720p.WEBRip.AAC2.0.X.2

You ready?

Did the alarm go off?

Mine did.

You forgot pants again.

I'll be back.

That's not
what they're there for.

What
are they there for?

I'm tellin' you man,

anything more than a
handful is a waste.

Her ratio's all outta whack.

What
is with you and ratios?

What are you, a mathematician?

Face it man,
your girlfriend's chest

- is oversized.
- No!

No, no there is no such thing

- as oversized.
- Oh my God.

What are we talking here,
Schmitty? What do you like?

G cups, L cups, Z cups?

You're a joke.

I want my
cup to runneth over.

Oh , all
right. I think we're done here.

God.

Let's drown this animal out.

You're listening to "Dave
Fuller in the A.M.,"

playing nothin' but the '80s,
just the way we like it.

Here's another song to help
start your day the correct way.

Move your booty, please.

Can you tell them to hurry up?

Relax, you have time.

I'm supposed to meet
Trevor before class.

Who the hell is Trevor?

Not now, they're leaving.

Who's Trevor?

Mom!

That's a good sign.

You can shut the hell up if
you want me to keep driving

your ass around
every single day.

Language.

He's always talking
shit on my friends.

- Yo!
- Oh, come on guys.

So, what did we
go with this time,

the beer guzzling party boy
or the parking lot pot dealer?

Fuck you!

He doesn't smoke pot.

Okay, that's enough.

Go start the car.

I'm gonna see Donna later today.

Her sister's been
askin' about you again.

What should I tell her?

You could tell her to stop.

She really wants to meet you.

Why don't you just ask
her to dinner sometime?

I need a secretary, not a
girlfriend, but thank you.

I'm just trying
to help you out.

Why don't you
help Angela instead?

She's a nurse,
not a psychiatrist.

- Scott.
- Liz.

Angela!

All right, I'll see ya.

Bye, man. I'll see ya.

Thanks for the ride.

Hey, wait a second.

For what?

I want you to meet him.

Why?

Just shut up and be polite.

Hey.

Hey.

Babe, this is my brother Frank.

You don't have to talk
to him slow or anything.

He's not retarded.

I get it.

So, you work here, right?

Yes.

I doubt they'd let him
work here if he was retarded.

Well, I'm glad
we could do this,

but I have to make
a phone call so...

It was nice meeting you.

You too.

God damn you.

Good
morning to you too.

What do you want?

Well, I wanted to be the first

to wish you happy birthday but
clearly the moment's passed.

God, I wanna stab you
in the throat right now.

Nice, thank you.

So, what's the plan for tonight?

Working.

Oh, my parents are treating me

to dinner and a
movie tomorrow night.

Can you come?

I have some
assignments to grade,

- but maybe I can pull it off.
- You're coming.

All right, I'm almost inside.

I'll talk to you later.

Thanks for
wakin' me up, asshole.

Ugh!

That's why you
only swipe right.

You can weed out all
the ugly ones later,

but just keep swiping,
swiping, swiping.

You'll find the perfect
girl, I promise.

There's so many women...

See you later.

Frank.

Brad.

God, I fuckin' hate that guy.

Hey, guess who I
saw this weekend?

I have no idea.

Miss Dennis.

Hi, girls.

The gym teacher.

Finally invited her over for
some extracurricular activity.

Sounds inappropriate.

Eh, not as much as I'd
hoped for if I'm bein' honest,

but I'm workin' on it.

- Thanks.
- Did you hear the news?

Gettin' a new teacher next week.

Special ed, confirmed female.

Whoever spots her
first gets to smash.

You're aware this isn't
a singles bar, right?

Jesus, Frank, you don't
watch too much TV do you?

High schools, law
firms, hospitals.

It's like 20% work,
80% somethin' else

that usually happens
in a broom closet.

Hi, Mr. Wells.

Hi, Courtney.

- Goodbye, Brad.
- Goodbye.

People like to reduce
Gregor's transformation down

to a one note metaphor.

Usually it's something
about how his professional

and personal responsibilities
are dehumanizing.

"He's a worker bee working
his life away for the man,

so he turns into a
literal worker bee."

Nevermind the fact that
Kafka describes him

as more of a dung
beetle and dung beetles

don't share the same
social hierarchy as bees.

They all eat shit.

Which brings me to
your next paper.

It's only a three pager,
so don't freak out.

Can I get a
volunteer to jot down

some guidelines on the board?

I'll help ya out, Wells.

Oh wait, I'm crippled too.

Tom.

Thank you.

So did you meet your
sister's new dipshit boyfriend?

Momentarily.

Did you
get a read on him?

He's affectionate and he
wears exactly one earring.

That's all I know.

That's all you need to know.

Maybe your mother can
talk some sense into her.

She's workin' late again.

Any idea what you
wanna do for dinner?

You're gonna make dinner?

Well, I mean, what kinda pizza

we're gonna order.

♪ When the moon hits your eye ♪

♪ Like a big pizza
pie that's amore ♪

Frank?

Yes?

Oh my God!

Hey!

Wow.

Sorry-

- You guys know each other?

We grew up together.

It's been, what, like 10 years?

How are you?

What have you been up to?

Not too much.

In retrospect the last 10 years
have been incredibly lame.

I'm teaching.

Are you visiting or...?

No, I'm back.

I start next Monday.

So, you're the new
teacher I heard about?

I guess so.

Val was just about to
show me to my class.

Why don't you come with us?

I would, but I have a class.

Okay but we need to talk more.

I'll see you around?

Yeah, I'll see you around.

For these thy gifts which
we are about to receive

from thy bounty through
Christ our Lord.

Amen.

So, have you gotten any
compliments on the perfume?

Nope.

Are you sure you're
using it correctly?

You know, two spritzes
and a walkthrough?

I don't like perfume.

It makes me queasy.

Gets in your mouth.

I always wear perfume.

I know, I'm having
trouble tasting my food.

Well, the girl
at the store says

that's what she wears and
her boyfriend loves it.

You should come back with me.

I saw some cute dresses.

That's okay.

Well, I wanna get you
something nice for next Saturday.

Besides, don't you think your
wardrobe could use an update?

Yeah, I feel really
underdressed right now.

What's that supposed to mean?

You can get more
here than you can get

at a $50 a plate
restaurant where they give

you one piece of asparagus
and call it a side dish.

Did I tell you what Frank
got me for my birthday?

Hm?

He got me tickets to
see "The Bloody Cradle"

at The Movie Tavern.

"The Bloody Cradle?"

It's about this bag
lady that gets raped

in the alley behind
the supermarket

and then she pops
out this psycho fetus

that hunts down all the people

that used to piss
her off at work.

It suffocates one guy
with its own amniotic sac.

Lorraine,

we're eating, hm?

And I don't wanna hear
about things like that.

Sounds like a
good present, Frank.

All right, what
are we thinkin' here?

M&Ms
and popcorn, 100%.

- Here.
- Stop.

Just take it.

Isn't that what boyfriends
are supposed to do?

Hey, look at this.

Frank and Lorraine
out on the town.

Oh boy.

What is this?

I'll let you deal with that.

Why don't
you come on over?

I'm in line.

I see you over there.

Can't hide from me.

Mr. Frank Wells.

Beth, this is Frank.

Frank, this is Beth.

- Hi.
- Hello.

They forced me and Frank
to play together in school

on account of us both
being freaks of nature.

Is that your girlfriend?

She's pretty.

Oh, uh-

- Lorraine is our dyke friend.

Frank's merely playing
the part of her beard.

It's kind of a hobby.

And here I thought
no one was buying it.

Listen, why don't
you grab us a seat

while Frank and I talk
a little business?

Sure, yeah.

That's great,
that's really nice.

You see that?

I tell her to leave us
alone, she just does it.

What is this?

She looks like one
of my students.

She's interning at
the radio station.

She probably thinks
she has to be here.

I told her it was a work date,
whatever the hell that is

and I picked her
up and everything

almost like a real person.

- Lovely.
- And what about you, huh?

When are you gonna
start courting women

you actually have a chance with?

How's the show going?

Highly stimulating.

When are you coming on?

I'm not coming on your show.

It's on first
thing in the morning.

Your students
won't even hear it.

Come on.

"Cripple Versus Cripple"
It's an excellent idea.

My listeners would love it.

It's offensive as hell, so
I'm sure they would love it.

Then come on the
show and say that.

Nice try.

We have a little weekly
debate, tell some war stories.

There's nothing
offensive about that.

Well, I don't have any stories

and it looks like you're doin'
just fine without me here,

so I should probably get back.

Whatever.

We'll continue this later.

I'm sure we will.

Enjoy your non date.

Enjoy your work date.

Baby steps my friend.

Because
these demons of the undead

- can exist only be ravishing-
- What did Dave say?

About what you'd expect.

Hold my hand, okay?

What?

When my mom comes
in, hold my hand.

- No, I heard you. Why?
- I want her to see.

What's the big deal?

Seriously?

With abnormal powers
of love they enslave-

- My hands
are all sweaty.

Just hold my fucking hand.

For how long?

I don't know.

Too much is better
than not enough.

In
the dark of night

they leave their tombs to
satisfy their need for blood.

No one is safe.

Only by destroying-

Have a good one, guys.

Found you.

Hey.

How'd they do?

Well, they think Twain
is a type of string.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

"Tom Sawyer"

I remember him being
kind of a dick.

Yeah, it's required reading.

Can't say I'm a fan either.

So, I am about to go on break.

What are you up to?

So how's the class going?

They puttin' you through
the ringer over there?

No, it isn't too bad.

I think they're
getting used to me.

They're pretty good actually.

I bet my students are
better behaved than yours.

I bet they are.

Mine are a bunch of little
bastards.

I mean, you have your standouts

but at least once a day
there's one I just wanna grab,

pull to the front of the class

and slap the hell out of.

Really make an
example out of 'em.

Public flogging is a lost art.

Sounds like you
should have been

a Catholic school
teacher in the '60s.

Those nuns knew
what they were doin'.

Oh, do you know that guy Brad?

I think he's the
psychology teacher.

I am aware of Brad Hamilton.

Okay.

So, he invited me to lunch
as a welcoming gesture

and then he said that if
I ever got overwhelmed

that I could come
and talk to him

because he basically had a
degree in being a good listener.

Jesus Christ.

I have got to know
what you said to that.

"No, thank you."

To all of it?

Yeah.

Poor Brad.

Yeah.

So, what brought
you back here?

I mean, not that
I'm complaining.

Reality.

I did the whole
douchey post grad thing

where I told myself I was
gonna travel and see the world.

Didn't get very far
but that's okay.

This place always
felt like home to me.

I'm sorry I didn't
keep in touch.

It's fine.

No, really, I missed this.

Well, now that you're back
we have plenty of catching-

Oh, I hate that thing.

I guess that's my cue.

Round two tomorrow?

Yeah, I'll be here.

Okay.

See you then.

So, Trevor, you working yet?

No, not yet.

- I'm looking though.
- Thanks.

Maybe you could get
him a job at the shop.

Do you know anything about cars?

I guess.

Do you have a car?

Jesus Dad, can you ask
any normal questions?

How is that not
a normal question?

How did you two meet?

Remember when I went
to Allison's party?

- Mm hm.
- No.

What party was this?

Can I tell the God damn story?

So, Trevor is friends
with Allie's cousin, Mike.

I had no idea who he was
or anything and you know,

we're dancing around the
pool and Trevor tripped over

the diving board and fell
straight into the deep end.

And so I go over to pull him out

and the first thing
he says to me is,

"Hey, you wanna dance?"

And of course I say yes.

And so we're dancing
and he's just dripping

all over me the whole night.

I dance
better than I swim.

You're an okay dancer, babe.

What?

What?

What are you
making that face for?

What, I can't be
moved by your story?

Can you stop being a pathetic
douche for like one second?

Was that Jean Paul Sartre who
said that or Rene Descartes?

You're just jealous you can't
actually get a girlfriend.

Okay, stop.

Does anybody have
anything positive to say?

How was your day, Frank?

Fine.

Did he tell you who's back?

Who?

Guess.

Tell me.

Judy Flanagan works
at our school now.

Really? Wow.

Judy's this girl that
Frank used to know,

they used to make
each other valentines

and then the one time
she made a valentine

for somebody else, Frank
cried for like two hours.

No, I didn't.

That's not funny.
That was sad.

Well, it didn't happen, so...

He thought it was a
secret that he liked her,

but everybody knew.

Tough crowd.

You never told me you
were in love with her.

I wasn't.

It was kid stuff.

So, we hate him, right?

Who, Trevor? I don't know.

It's kinda hard
to form an opinion

when you're being strung up by
the balls in the town square.

That's a bit much.

Yeah, well, I guess
dinner table humiliation

brings out my dramatic side.

God, this is torture.

You're lucky you have a scrotum.

I think this one
really brings out

the yellow in your teeth.

Oh, thank you.

Why don't you
just pick something?

Because she won't be satisfied

unless it's some
pink frilly bullshit.

Lorraine.

It's not pink.

We ran into Becky Stevens
and her husband last week.

Their son Teddy is moving
back here for work.

Well, maybe you two
could meet up sometime.

You're the same age.

Why would that happen?

Well, why not?

He might have some insights
into the job market.

You don't wanna work
at Randy's forever.

Can we not do this today?

Put your shoulders back.

You wanna take pride
in your appearance

if you wanna meet the right man.

I have a boyfriend, Mom.

He's sitting right
outside, remember?

I know you're
with Frank right now

and I know your heart's
in the right place.

What does that mean?

Nothing, I like Frank.

It's just, we think
that maybe it's time

for you to start thinking ahead.

- Who's we?
- Keep your options open.

Your family.

We just, all we're saying
is that if you were

to get serious with Frank,
life might be very difficult.

I just want you to have the
best chance of being happy.

Oh my God, what is
taking her so long?

Are they having a sale
and straight jackets?

Angela is on her way.

You're really leaving
me here with this?

Thank you.

Ready?

Yeah, we had this one
chick come in yesterday, man.

She had the long blonde
hair, the skin tight dress,

the heels and the, yeah, those
things will be on the ground

by the time she's 45.

How's that feel?

It's still kinda loose.

Okay.

You know, I dated a girl like
that before I met your mother.

Loose?

No.

Well...

Lift your arm a little.

Did you know mom would say
yes when you asked her out?

No, I had no idea.

I mean I did all right,

but I wasn't the kinda guy

that had girls
fallin' all over him.

Obviously, I was
hopin' she'd say yes,

but there was only
one way to find out.

There.

I think you're good.

Help me!

Help me I've fallen
and I can't get up!

Well, don't just look at
me. You got legs, right?

Use 'em!

Help me!

Avalanche!

I feel like a fish outta water!

Sweet freedom.

It's a short story so
read the whole thing.

Henry, can you hang
back for a minute?

Oh!

Okay.

I'll catch you
outside of psych, man.

- All right.
- All right, man.

Look, I'm not trying
to embarrass you,

but I need you to stop being
so disruptive in class.

What do you mean?

Have you forgotten
what was going

on in here when I came in?

You've been putting on
a clown show for weeks.

You weren't here.

We were just fooling
around until you came back.

Look, I get what you're doin',

but I need you to
give it a rest.

What you do outside of
class is your own business.

You can go.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Oh, you're one
of those people.

Those people?

People that have
no credibility.

All right, Brad.

Hey!

Hey, what's goin' on?

Frankie!

Hey Frankie, come over here.

All right.

Help us solve this issue.

Studio or live, music?

Studio.

See, Brad?

No one agrees with you.

Plenty of people
agree with me, okay?

I'll show you what real
music is on Saturday.

It won't be live,
but it'll be good.

What's on Saturday?

Brad invited everyone to this
place in Northern Liberties.

You should come.

I'm gonna bring my roommate.

Dude, you should
totally come, bro.

It's '80s night.

It's like your
buddy on the radio.

♪ 'Cause this is '80s night ♪

♪ Oh, what a night ♪

♪ Mm, mm ♪

You're going to this?

Yeah.

Y'know, it might be fun.

Might be?

It's gonna be great.

Come on.

Don't you wanna
see Brad's moves?

Of course he wants
to see my moves.

He's always wanted
to see my moves.

Sure, why not?

Frankie!

Frankie!

♪ '80s night ♪

♪ Oh, what a night ♪

♪ It's like the clock
goin' 'round that clock ♪

♪ And boom, up down ♪

I'll show you.

- Here we go.
- If I have to watch 18

- make this-
- Oh!

- He's not gonna make it.
- It's a double.

- He's not gonna make it!
- Aw, you're fuckin' done.

- No, no, no, no, no,
- You're fuckin' done!

- no, no, no, no, no.
- Here he goes!

- They're gonna catch him.
- Watch, watch!

- Shit!
- Always reliable.

That was some bullshit.

I can't even enjoy
this shit, man.

We ain't even got no volume.

Hey, Plain Lorraine,
can we get some volume?

No?

- Oh, boy.
- Okay.

- Lorraine!
- Oh, man!

Watch this, he's
gonna bring 'em in.

Here we go.

You ready?

Good.

Here we go!

It's a great team.

Hello?

Hey.

What's up?

So, you're gonna kill me
but Angela took the van.

What do you mean?

I told her I needed it
for your parents' thing,

but she took it anyway.

Where?

Atlantic City with her
dumbass friends, I think.

It looks like I'm grounded here.

So you're ditching me?

Sorry.

I just found out.

Yo, what kind of
customer service is this?

Look, I gotta
get back to work.

Talk to you later.

Excuse me, you
got customers back here!

Frank?

In here.

I got it.

Thanks.

What's wrong?

I can't find anything
in these damn drawers.

Well, slow down.

I can't.

Dad's stuck at the shop, the
train comes in 45 minutes.

All right.

What do we need to do?

Chin up just a little.

Oh, shit.

I'm so sorry, did I cut you?

It's fine.

Fuck.

Do you need some help?

Remember, it's supposed
to slide right over.

I think
I almost got it.

Can you even see
what you're doing?

Don't.

Relax, Frank.

It's not like you're
playing with it.

Please don't.

We're cuttin' it close

if we're gonna make this train.

All right, it's on.

Frank!

This is my roommate, Bianca.

- Hi.
- Hello.

This is Frank.

He's the smartest guy I know.

I don't know.

My title might be in contention
after agreeing to this.

Yeah.

Where's Brad?

Wait, who's turn is it?

Who's turn is it?

- Okay, okay, okay.
- It's your turn, okay.

Never have I
ever... flashed an old man.

Or woman.

Oh, that's it!

What?

Oh my-

- It was an accident.

It was an accident.

Mm mm, on purpose.

Okay.

All right, it's my turn.

Here we go.

- Never have you ever-
- Wait!

Oh no, no.

I'm so stupid.

All right, shh, shh.

Mm.

Never have I ever,

had sex in a car.

Really?

Yeah, mm hm.

Mm!

All right, Frankie, come on,
let's go. It's your turn.

Didn't this game go out
of style in high school?

You're not even
playing it correctly.

Oh my God!

Just say something
so you can drink too.

You're intolerably sober!

Do it before I have the
bouncer kick you out, please!

Never have I
ever... made out in public.

Whoa!

Frankie, come on buddy!

I might have to challenge that.

Flag!

- Okay, shut up.
- What?

Is Val coming?

No.

No, Nancy and Joe
are over there.

I just try and exclude the
older people, you know?

So it doesn't get
awkward.

I hate older people.

I hate 'em.

Okay, on that note, I
think I need a refill.

Mm, so do I.

Please?

Double, thank you.

Your friend really
needs to succumb

to my charms in a
more timely fashion.

Maybe she's not like that.

They're all like that.

Well, maybe she's not.

Wait, do you like
Flanagan or something?

Oh my God.

Come on, bro.

You like her!

Are you gonna say
something to her?

You know what?

You need a shot. Let me
buy you a shot, okay?

You can't let them
see you nursin'

this rum and Coke all night.

I'm good, thanks.

Why don't you go
ask her to dance, man?

Just show her that, you know?

Come on, what do
you have to lose?

What are you waitin' for,

one of those guys
at the airports

just guiding you
in with the things?

Just be yourself.

Go for it!

That only works if yourself
is what they're looking for.

I'm just sayin'.

Okay, thank you.

Give it a rest, Miagi.

Yeah, wax on wax off.

I kinda wanna fuck
Bianca anyway.

Shots, bartender!

Two shots.

Two big shots for me
and my boy, Frankie!

Have a second.

Mm, Lorraine, this
is Teddy.

Ted's fine.

Oh, I know, you're
all grown up now.

Teddy was just saying that
he works at a law firm.

PR firm, actually.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Does your firm do
corporate videos?

Yeah, yeah.

You know what?

Lorraine has a degree
in broadcasting.

Oh, interesting.

You know what?

Excuse me for a minute.

So, what was your focus?

Videography mostly.

You don't have to
talk to me, you know?

I'll just tell her you
weren't interested.

I didn't say that.

So, what do you
wanna do with it?

Not corporate
videos I'm assuming.

Movies.

Oh, what kind?

You know those movies where

a bunch of kids are fucking
in a cabin out in the woods

and some dude in a mask rams

a steak knife
through their heads?

Those kinda movies.

That's specific.

So look, I know it's
none of my business,

but your mom was saying
that she didn't think

your boyfriend would be
in the picture much longer

and she mentioned that
you might be interested

in goin' out some time.

Excuse me.

I can't believe how
fast she's grown...

Wait a minute,
I'll be right back.

Lorraine, hey?

- What are you doing?
- Going to bed.

Why?

Don't you see what
she's trying to do?

It's embarrassing.

Oh, don't worry about it.

She never takes a break, Dad.

I understand.

Then why don't you
tell her to stop?

Your mother's not the
easiest person to argue with.

So you won't even try?

I will, I will but
now's not the best time.

Just... don't walk out.

Come sit with me.

I'm no good at these
things, you know?

I'm a sweatpants and
loafers kinda guy.

Come on, I'll make sure
nobody talks to you.

I'll chew with my mouth
open or something.

I'll be there in a minute.

Don't worry about it, okay?

I'll make you a plate.

Fuck you, Frank.

Oh my God, I think I
just found you a husband.

What?

That guy?

Yes, that guy.

- What?
- Come on!

He is totally your type!

Your last boyfriend had
bigger boobs than me.

Was he a tranny?

Mm mm, a bodybuilder.

He was a personal trainer.

- Oh my God!
- Same thing.

- Jesus!
- You should go talk to him.

Hi.

I'm Alex.

What's your name?

Judy.

This is Frank and Bianca...

And Brad.

So, none of my friends are
really into this kinda music.

They think it's cheesy.

Will you dance with me?

Hey, how do you know
they're not together, bro?

Oh, I didn't mean
any disrespect.

Are you two-

- No, we're just friends.

Just sayin'.

Okay.

So, do you wanna dance?

Sure.

- Watch my drink for me?
- Mm hm.

Do you wanna dance?

Oh, no.

Mm, mm, mm.

You okay, buddy?

I'm gonna find the bathroom.

You need help?

No.

Fuck, fuck!

Frank, are you okay?

Frank?

Hey, what is the big deal?

Okay, can you please
just go and check on him?

This is
my favorite song.

- Well, I'm sorry.
- You're ruining

my favorite song.

Okay.

Frank?

Come on, what the fuck?

Don't come in here.

What, are you crying in there?

Brad, can you please
just get rid of her?

Please.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, I'll get rid of her.

Is he in there?

Yeah, he's pukin'
his guts out.

Is he okay?

He's cleaning himself up
and then he's takin' off.

Come on.

It's the men's room.

You can't go in there. He
said he'll see you on Monday.

Come on, let's go.

- Let's go, come on.
- Brad.

Come on!

He's fine.

I spent half the night
in the bathroom pretending

to wash my hands and
the other half standing

in the corner like a jerk-off.

And then the moment I
woke up the next morning,

she was on my ass about
what I thought of him

and if I was gonna get
a job at his company.

- Why would she do that?
- Have you met Connie?

She's out of her Goddamn mind.

No, I mean if you
say you're with me,

why is she trying to set
you up with some other guy?

I don't know.

Maybe it's 'cause you still
live with your parents.

Yes, I do. Much like yourself.

She obviously thinks you're
just doin' me a favor.

So what if she does?

Maybe I don't want
people thinking that.

Why do you care
what my mother thinks?

You wanna repeat
that or should I?

I have to care what
she thinks, asshole.

And I can't make her believe
anything if you're not there.

Remind me to thank Angela.

Oh my God, yes!

Hey, how much are these?

Two for three.

Dad?

Dad!

This is a nice classroom.

It's great that you're a teacher.
A lot of the people I see

can barely move
around their homes.

Well, I think that's it.

So, what happens now?

So, I made a list
of registered PCAs

that aren't too far
from you, all male.

You can have them meet
you in a neutral setting

and talk about what you expect.

It's important to
be clear about that.

If you need anything else,

give me a call at the
office before four p.m.

and don't take
crap from anybody.

That's a big one.

Noted.

Where is this guy?

Late.

Seems like a good way to
kick off a complete fiasco.

At least you'll get
a story out of it,

especially if one
of them decides

to shoot you in the
face or something.

Thanks.

Oh, I can't stand these guys

that take up the
handicap parking spaces

who don't even need it
and screw over the people

that could really
use it, you know?

I'll park there
like once in awhile,

but only if I'm
gonna be in and out.

This is gonna be quick, right?

Do you know the Heimlich?

No, but I can learn.

I'm not sure you'd survive
it though.

Don't wanna hurt ya.

I respect my clients.

I sympathize with them.

I understand them.

I love my clients.

Where I am from,
it is not like here.

People who are lame, like you,

sometimes they'll leave
them in the streets,

other times they'll
kill them out of mercy.

If only we could be there now.

So, when would I
get my first paycheck?

I sorta took the bus here
and I'm running low on funds.

I don't even know if I
have enough to get back.

Hey, thanks for meeting me.

Yeah, sure.

Elwood, right?

Well, that's what
it says on the papers,

but I usually just go by Woods.

Well, it says here you
have no criminal record

in the state of Pennsylvania.

Any other qualifications
besides not being a killer?

You mean like... like
nursing school?

I mean how do you feel about
wiping another man's ass?

I'll wipe your windows if
you want, man. A job's a job.

Oh, oh, Pacino.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's great.

Thank you.

♪ When the sun goes down ♪

♪ Just beyond these hills ♪

♪ I remember how ♪

♪ The night's supposed to feel ♪

What are you drinking?

I don't know
but it was strong.

Water?

Sure.

I'm Gina.

Hey, Gina.

Are you gonna
tell me your name?

Lorraine.

Cute.

Do you have a
boyfriend, Lorraine?

No.

Do you have a girlfriend?

Ugh, I've been third
wheeling it all day.

It's driving me crazy.

Why don't you
find a boyfriend?

Why don't you?

Can I help you?

I'm here for Frank.

Oh, oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on in.

Right down here.

Did you guys measure
in the flour yet?

Not yet.

Hi.

Okay, you guys know
what to do next, right?

Not too much vanilla.

Hey.

Woods, this is Judy.

Nice to meet you.

Woods is gonna be
helpin' me out from now on.

Cool.

Figured we'd stop by and
see how things were going.

They don't seem to hate you.

I was worried about
you the other night.

Brad said you were sick.

Yeah, I think
that was my first

and last Brad Hamilton outing.

I don't blame you.

Would you wanna give it
another shot this weekend?

I'm thinkin' somethin'
nice and boring.

Yeah, that sounds
perfect.

Judy, would you get the
broom out of the closet?

Sorry, I'll call you.

Sure.

My man.

Hey.

What are you doin'?

Just finishin'
up this chapter.

Shouldn't you be getting
ready for your date?

It's not a date.

Do you even know
what you're gonna wear?

Haven't really
thought about it.

We gotta make sure you're
looking fresh, alright?

The better you look, the
better you feel, you know?

They notice that shit.

All right.

Which one do you want?

You can't ever fully appreciate
cake until you've lived

with filthy hippies for a week.

I stayed with my
sister and her husband

out in San Francisco
and it was brutal.

They're into some sort
of alternative living,

which apparently involves not
bathing or cooking your food.

Oh, boy.

Yeah.

I swear, I couldn't recognize

a single thing they
put in their mouths.

I actually had to
wait until they went

to bed so I could
sneak out and eat tacos

in the middle of the
night and then walk around

the block three times so that

they wouldn't smell it
on me in the morning.

That sounds like
a really dark time.

Yeah, never again.

What about your sister?

Oh, you know Angela,

she presents her own challenges.

Does she have a boyfriend?

Usually. And then she
always gets her heart broken

when they turn out to be-

- Jerks?

Yeah, not the word I was
gonna use but close enough.

What about you?

Are you seeing anybody?

No.

No online dating profile?

No.

Why not?

That stuff is, I don't know.

I might sound lame,

but I kind of always
liked the idea

of being friends
with somebody first.

It's not lame but it
is old school.

Your new friend works fast.

He does.

You
remember that guy Alex?

The guy from the club?

Yeah.

Well, we ended up
seeing each other after

and now he won't
stop texting me.

Have you ever been
to California?

No.

Well, you should go.

It's beautiful.

Just don't stay with my sister.

♪ It's dangerous ♪

Here we go, guys.

It's gonna definitely
be a great season.

- Yeah.
- Me too, man.

What do you think about the
NBA building super teams?

I think it's going to
be good for everybody.

I mean, hey.

- To friendship.
- Friendship, brother.

Thank you.

So do you always hang
out here after work?

Sometimes.

You don't have
anywhere better to go?

Hey, watch it or I'll
have Randy ban your ass.

Mm, he wouldn't ban this ass.

Would you?

It's all right.

Screw you, at
least I have one.

So, did you just
move here or...?

No, my roommate
dragged us here

to hang with some
guy she met online.

I've been on chaperone duty.

She probably didn't feel
like getting murdered alone.

Yeah, I guess.

So, are they meeting
you here or...?

No, they were going to,

but they started
drinking at the apartment

and now they're
too drunk to drive.

Fucking geniuses.

Hey, Lorraine!

How 'bout some
shots for the boys?

Not working, dipshit.

How 'bout a lap dance then?

I love you, too!

Friend of yours?

I've known him
since high school.

He's just an idiot who
thinks he's still on varsity.

He's basically like Peter
Pan, only a bigger asshole.

God, I don't know how you deal

with these people every night.

It's better than hanging
out with my parents.

We could hang out at my place

if you don't wanna go home yet.

I can't tonight.

Why not?

I just, I can't tonight.

Okay, I give up.

You wanna reset?

What?

I just beat you.

Oh, yeah sure.

Why don't you
just ask her out?

Just ask her out?

You don't foresee any
challenges with that?

I'm not psychic.

Do you wanna know what
I'd be doing if I was?

No.

I'd like to know what you'd
be doing if you were me.

I'd be trying to
get fake hand jobs

from my fake girlfriend.

You're letting this thing
with Lorraine get to you.

No, I'm not.

Okay.

- Here you go.
- All right!

Looks good.

Enjoy.

Oh, I will.

You sure you
don't want anything?

I'm good, thanks.

Okay.

Damn.

Really?

Can we focus here?

It's a little hard with
stuff like that walkin' around.

Why don't you ask her out?

Nah.

Why not?

She's serving me pancakes.

It's a conflict of interest.

Oh, okay. So if you weren't
stuffing your face right now,

you would ask for
her phone number.

Sure, why not?

No fear whatsoever?

What's there to be afraid
of? What, is she gonna say no?

I've heard no from
plenty of girls.

Why do you even give a shit?

You haven't seen
her in 10 years.

Yeah, I know.

Why would you allow
yourself to feel that way?

She's not like us.

I suppose it's not
entirely your fault.

Sometimes cripples fall
in love with cripples,

sometimes they don't.

It's not like they have
singles bars devoted to us.

Crippled or not, it's all
process of elimination.

Weren't you the
guy in high school

who talked about how he
could get any girl he wanted?

What, you just had't
made your selection yet?

Now it's process of elimination.

That's... That's great.

Maybe I was a little
naive back then.

I'm wiser now.

Back then I talked the talk
without really walking the walk.

Oh, so you walk the walk now?

No, I just talk a little less.

Yeah, I'm not
seein' that at all.

What do you want me to say?

I'm just lookin' for
an informed opinion here.

You're in a similar situation.

I'm a cripple.

Will you cut it out with that?

Why?

Why can't I say that?

I'm allowed to say that.

'Cause it sounds
like something

you scrape off the
bottom of your shoe.

Oh my God, look at you
with all your big ideas.

Can we drop the shock jock
thing for a second here?

Does your dick work?

Can you eat a girl out?

What does that have
to do with anything?

Come on, give
me something here.

Yes.

Can you take her out dancing?

Yeah, sure.

Right, good for you.

No one cares. Because 99 out

of 100 girls won't
bother to find out.

You might've had a chance
back in like the '50s.

Back then people knew you
don't fall in love with a body,

you fall in love with a head.

A head?

Yeah, a head.

My point is that the
sex used to come later.

Now it comes first and that's

where they initially assume
that you're not capable.

Yeah, but even if
that's true, I mean,

she's not just some
girl I met at a bar.

We know each other.

- We-
- Nobody wants

to grow old with you
because nobody thinks

they're getting old anymore.

Nobody says to themselves,

"Jee, we'll all be
disabled someday, right?"

This isn't PBS, it's MTV.

You can't get attached.

Tell her.

Bang it out.

Get it out of the
way and move on

or shut up and be her friend.

But I don't recommend it.

Why not?

Because you think
she'll slowly start

to realize that you're
a legitimate option

and then one day after
she's had an ugly breakup

from some dickbag
with pierced ears,

you'll make her feel better

and she'll finally decide
to suck on your pecker.

But until that day
you gotta watch

her date these other guys,

big, strong guys
that you'll have

to imagine her getting fucked by

and your day probably
won't even come.

That shit hardly works
out for regular guys,

let alone you and me.

We're goin' up against biology
here, natural selection.

Females are wired to
find us repulsive.

If every woman in the world
was drunk off her ass 24/7,

your chances would
go up like 6%.

Do you really think the first
girl you fall in love with

is gonna be the
one to accept you?

I mean, it has to have
happened before, right?

I'm sure it's
happened somewhere.

Listen, we're not pioneers.

We're just the shlubs
on the ground trying

to figure this
shit out as we go.

Do you wanna know why you
really invited me here?

I'm sure you're
about to tell me.

You need someone to
be straight with you.

You ready for this?

You're fucked.

You're not crazy.

You're absolutely right.

But you already have more

than most people
like us get to have.

You're a teacher.

You have a family
that gives a shit.

Hell, you can speak.

You don't get to have it all.

You're a link in the chain.

You make a good living, you
influence a few people's lives

in a positive way
and maybe have sex

with a girl once before you die.

So the story of how you
weren't a complete waste

of space will get passed
down through the generations.

And then one day in 1,000 years,

some other crippled guy will get

the shot of marrying
the girl of his dreams.

You want someone to love
you for who you are?

Get a dog.

Everybody ready?

I'm gonna open that gate.

You ready?

Ready.

Okay, here they come!

Hold on, hold on!

Oh, man.

That's genius.

Uh.

Shit, I gotta go.

What?

Randy offered me
a shift at work.

I can't afford to be picky.

We've been trying
to get our hands

on this thing for weeks.

Well, we'll do
it next weekend.

Don't we have more nonsense

with your parents next weekend?

We'll do it after, then.

We'll figure it out.

I gotta go.

What's the matter?

Your side's draggin'.

I'm okay, thanks.

You're gonna get me drunk.

You're getting yourself drunk.

You're supposed to
be helping me.

Mm, one for me... and
one for my homos.

Mm.

Ever fucked a guy?

No, have you?

Yeah.

I mean, I sort of knew
it wasn't what I wanted

but I guess I felt
like I had to.

So, does anyone know
you're into chicks?

My best friend.

What's her name?

Frank.

Is he gay?

No.

Does he ever try to
get away with shit?

What do you mean?

Like, he's never
tried to see you naked?

"Come on, it's
just us guys here.

- Come on."
- Oh.

- Come on.
- No, no, no.

He's not like that.

Where the hell did you find

a straight guy that doesn't
wanna have sex with you?

High school.

Now I know you're
full of shit.

He's not just some guy.

We're both a little weird,

so it just kinda makes sense.

And you both have
old people names.

So, he's okay with it.

Who are we hiding from out here?

My parents.

Well, my mother.

What?

She a bitch?

She just wants
certain things for me.

She's old fashioned.

Fuck you.

What's your family like?

Like yours.

I told my parents when I was 15.

What'd they do?

Don't bother telling them.

Just leave.

Just take this thing
and keep driving.

I can't, it's my parents' car.

Okay, just think about
how good it's gonna feel

to say and do whatever you want.

♪ I love vaginas ♪

Come on!

- Say something.
- I'm not gonna do that.

Come on.

God, you're boring.

Almost done.

I thought you and Lorraine
were hangin' out tonight?

Randy surprised her.

It's fine, I had
papers to do anyway.

You should take a break.

It's the weekend.

You should get outta the house.

This wouldn't be about
Donna's sister would it?

Why, you want me to call her?

My God.

What?

I mean, would it kill
you to go on one date?

I mean, is it because
she's in a wheelchair?

Really?

Do you have any idea how
ridiculous that sounds?

I don't know.

You seem to have some
big problem with it.

I don't have a problem.

It's like, "Oh, hey,
one of the teachers

at school has red hair, too.

You two should totally go out
for frozen yogurt sometime."

Please.

It's equally superficial.

I don't even know this person.

You're expecting me
to jump all over it.

I'm not expecting
anything except

for that my son who deserves

a break and never
goes out on dates,

have a good time with
a potential new friend

and that's all I'm saying.

You know, I think she's lonely

and she probably needs
this. I feel bad.

I mean, she probably
doesn't get to go out a lot.

Oh my... fine.

You can call her.

Fine.

I did.

Oh my God, no.

The one time that
we went to Tom's

the ambulance had to come
'cause she like faked

this big ass anxiety attack
and passed out in his bathtub.

Yeah, like literally
everyone hates her.

I'll call you back.

Hey.

Hey.

What's up?

What are you doing here?

Surprised you're not in
Atlantic city fucking

up my night again.

I had a really fun time with
my mother, so thanks for that.

What the fuck are
you talking about?

Is Frank ready?

He's not here.

He left like half an hour ago.

To go where?

Woods is taking him on a date

with some girl
that my mom knows.

I can't believe she
talked me into this.

Dude, it might be great.

You don't know.

Yeah, okay.

You nervous?

I think wary is the word.

That's fair.

This is her.

Show time.

Text me if you need
anything, as always.

Have fun.

My sister loves this place.

So, she's to blame for this?

Yeah, she has terrible
taste.

So, what grade do you teach?

- 11th.
- Do you like it?

Yeah.

Oh, Donna said that you
used to be into writing.

Have you ever had
anything published?

No.

I actually never focused
too much on writing.

My mom was probably
embellishing.

Oh, I thought you
wrote short stories.

I wrote a few in college, but
I prefer talking about them.

All the enjoyment, none of
the crushing self doubt.

Maybe you should try
writing about your own life.

I'm sure you've seen lots
of interesting things.

The interesting parts of my
life couldn't fill a pamphlet,

let alone a novel.

Oh, it's not about
being entertaining,

it's about showing people
your side of things.

Oh, have you ever thought
about doing a blog?

No.

Why not?

I don't see the point
in something like that.

Not letting your
voice go to waste.

I mean, it doesn't matter
if you're interesting.

What matters is you're
part of a culture

that many people
don't understand.

You mean German Irish?

Okay.

You don't think it's
important to show people

what life is really like for us?

Not by exploiting
myself on the internet.

It's not exploitation
if it's on your own terms.

That's exactly what it is.

I have a friend who
does it for a living.

Does what?

Turns his disability into

a joke on the radio every day.

Do people listen?

Not for the right reasons.

Well, at least
he's contributing.

Contributing to what?

The conversation.

"The conversation."

Why is this the way we have
to talk about ourselves?

We're two totally
different people.

My friend I just told you about,

they practically forced us
to be buddies in school.

It just so happens that we
like each other, sometimes.

I mean, it's the same thing
with this one kid in my class.

He's the only disabled
student in the whole grade.

There are four other
English teachers,

but they put him with me.

All right, well I think
you're just being cynical.

I write about my life and
I get positive responses

from all kinds of people.

You know, maybe if you tried
having those conversations,

you wouldn't feel so lonely.

I never said I was lonely.

It's not an insult.

I just... look, we've
all been there.

I certainly have.

Your mom said you were
having a hard time.

I mean, I guess she thought

you might want
someone to talk to.

You want dessert?

Can I get it to go?

What's up, Woods?

Oh, hey man.

Frankie!

Have you seen this?

Are you involved with this crap?

I'm chaperoning.

Oh, come on.

"A Night Under The Stars?"

Lame.

But I think your
girl's gonna be there.

Okay.

Well, I'm just sayin',

it might be a good
place to make a move.

You got the lights,
the atmosphere.

The smuggled booze.

You'll be dressed
up lookin' sharp.

Just give it a rest all right?

What, are you still pissed

'cause she danced with some guy?

Why do you care?

Because I'm just trying
to help the cause, bro.

There's no cause, Brad.

It's just work.

- You sure you're good, man?
- Oh yeah, thanks.

- All right, see ya tomorrow.
- See you tomorrow.

'Bet.

It's
Lorraine, leave a message.

Hey, what's the deal?

Call me back.

Hey.

What's up?

I've been calling
you all week.

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

Where you been?

I was at your
house on Saturday.

You have fun on your date?

What?

Angela said you
were on a date.

Okay.

I told you I
needed you that day.

No you didn't.

You said it was a possibility.

Then you ran off and
never got back to me.

Something else came up.

Yeah, it's weird how
that keeps happening.

Angela was telling me all
about her Atlantic City trip.

So you've been ignoring me

because of something
Angela said?

I missed a couple dinners.

That's not the point.

My mom thinks something's wrong.

Why?

Because you keep
standing me up.

How does that mean you're gay?

What the fuck, asshole?

They probably just
heard you say that.

How long do we have
to keep doing this

before you get
your shit together?

The whole point was to
get her off your back

long enough to
figure something out.

That's not your problem.

You're supposed
to be helping me.

All I do is help you.

I have my own life.

Oh, I'm really sorry

I interfered with
your busy schedule.

I didn't realize you were
such a fucking ladies man.

Yeah, well, there's a
lot of things I'd love

to tell you about but
all you wanna talk about

is your parents and
whatever bullshit party

I have to go to next.

How do you not know how
ridiculous this is getting?

Yeah, it is ridiculous.

It's ridiculous that you
would use your situation

to get out of helping me.
It's pathetic actually.

I didn't use anything.

Yes, you did.

Why can't you just admit
that you were wrong?

Fine, yeah.

It's my fault.

It's my fault your
life's going nowhere.

Fuck you.

I feel bad for you.

You feel bad for me?

Yeah.

They don't care about you.

They only like you because
they don't know you.

Just keep doin'
what you're doin'.

I'm sure it'll work itself out.

You can do it without me.

Okay, I'm gonna put you
guys in groups for this one.

Do we really need
to be put in groups, Wells?

I mean, we're all
just people, right?

Even us hideously
deformed people.

Take out your books, please.

Henry, why don't you summarize

last week's discussion
of McCourt for us?

I don't remember.

Something about
potatoes probably.

Well, maybe you
would know what

was said if you didn't spend

all of class
staring at Courtney.

Oo!

Do you recall now?

How 'bout you, Brian?

What do you want?

I'm at work, I gotta go.

I already told you, I'm at work.

Yeah.

Yeah, later.

Sorry about that.

That the girl from the club?

A different one actually.

And this one's coming
on real strong.

Like sending me
pictures of her ass

at three in the morning strong.

Don't you hate
when that happens?

I might need a
break after this one.

You always been good at that?

Good at what?

What, talking to girls?

It's just confidence.

You can't look at them like
they're better than you.

A lotta these chicks think
they're something special

and they won't
talk to you unless

you have the right ride

or a nice logo on your shirt

and if they make
you feel like that,

they ain't worth it.

What if she was worth it?

Oh, you're talking about like,

like actually liking a chick?

Yeah, sure.

Well, no dude should
ever have that problem

'cause romance doesn't
get you anywhere.

Chicks don't care about
romance until they're old

and saggy and nobody
wants 'em anymore.

All they want is some dude
to spend money on them.

Man,
what happened to you?

I got wise my friend, and
it's feelin' pretty good.

Were it so simple.

It is that simple,
that's my point.

You know what?

- I'm gonna prove it to you.
- Oh yeah, how's that?

What are you doing after work?

So, which one do you like?

I don't know.

This is ridiculous.

Chill, man.

This is a business.

Nobody cares what you look like

as long as you have some
cash in your pocket.

It's a beautiful thing.

I don't do this stuff.

You're a man.

This is something men
do, so just pick one.

Your dick won't
know the difference.

Dibs on the blonde though.

You okay, sweetie?

I'm fine.

Just fine?

Does your friend
take you out a lot?

This is my first
time actually.

Relax.

I'm gonna take care of you.

He said I could ask
for something extra?

Extra?

Yeah, there's more
money in my pocket.

Sorry, they don't
really let us do that.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Do you wanna
buy another dance?

Can you get my friend for me?

Okay.

Thanks.

What's up?

Can you help me
off here, please?

Are you all right?

Did you ask her?

Yes.

So, what happened?

Nothing happened.

She shut you down?

Yeah, can we go?

No, let me get
a different one.

- Don't worry about that bitch.
- No, don't do that.

Come on, it'll
take two seconds.

Can you please just
help me off this couch?

I wanna get out of here.

♪ I hate to leave
you high and dry ♪

♪ Bet you thought
you fooled us ♪

Man, this is pathetic.

Why don't you take the
rest of the night off?

You sure?

Yeah, go ahead, I got this.

Okay, thanks.

♪ And I wanna force you ♪

Are you serious?

Go back inside.

- You're gonna kill someone.
- Fuck off.

Here.

Go back inside.

You...

You are one stupid
bitch, you know that?

Go now.

Keep your fuckin' panties on.

You gonna go get
my keys or what?

You can get 'em
yourself in the morning.

Yeah?

Where you gonna go?

You gonna go see
your girlfriend?

You gonna have fun with your
girlfriend? Can I come with?

We could have fun,
the three of us.

Get the fuck off me.

What?

When'd you stop
likin' dick, huh?

What the?

Get the fuck away from me!

What happened?

Nothing.

Obviously something happened.

A bottle fell off the shelf.

I'm fine.

Oh my God.

Can you just stop?

That is not a
bottle, Lorraine.

- How did that happen?
- Jesus Christ!

- Why?
- Tell me the truth!

Why do you have to be
involved in everything?

You are my daughter.

You never tell me
anything anymore.

I have no idea what
is going on with you.

Tell me the truth.

And he takes
outside for ball four.

Hitter missed the zone.

Oh, come on.

You are not going over there.

Just stop.

Why not?

My friends sleep over

at their boyfriends'
houses all the time.

It's not a big deal.

That ain't happenin'.

Shut up!

I'm not talking to you.

Take her car keys.

She's done.

This isn't helping.

Stop!

- Get down here.
- No!

You're being a little bit
dramatic, don't you think?

Oh my God.

Oh, honey.

What happened?

I think we should call them.

And what are you gonna say?

They've obviously
made up their minds.

It's wrong.

It's not our place
to get involved.

Did you call the cops?

Why not?

He should be in jail.

What if he comes back
next time you're at work?

There are towels
in the bathroom

if you wanna take a shower.

Thanks.

Hey.

How was your weekend?

Fine.

How was yours?

I took your advice.

Really worked out.

It had to happen eventually.

I know.

You're not gonna make me
say I'm sorry are you?

So, what you're really
saying is Angela was right.

Please do not let
her hear you say that.

That's like the
opposite of helpful.

Nothing I say is gonna help.

I thought you didn't
care about that stuff.

What stuff?

Relationships.

Well, apparently
this is different.

That sucks.

Yeah.

So, what are you gonna do?

I don't know.

I mean, I've seen the
kind of guys she likes.

They're not me.

And that's not even me
feeling sorry for myself.

It's just, she could
have any guy she wants.

It's okay to feel sorry
for yourself once in awhile.

It's called being human.

Well, it's overrated.

Everybody's acting like
this should be some kind

of learning experience.

I don't want it
to be a trial run.

I want it to be her.

I guess part of me always
thought it would be.

Maybe it's just better

to leave things the way
they are and move on.

Can you?

Or you could always
drink yourself to death.

Thank you.

Finally some advice
I can actually use.

Mm.

That's him.

- All right.
- Whoa, whoa.

Are you sure you're
good with this?

Yeah, I'm good.

Hey, man, you Zeke?

That's from Frank,
you fuckin' pussy.

A little extra from me.

Don't lemme see you here again.

Lookin'
straight with the shirt?

Yeah,
it's getting there.

Yeah, it's gonna look good.

Hey.

Hey.

Yo.

Look at you.

Please.

How was work?

Fine.

No Zeke sightings?

Nope.

So, is she gonna be there?

- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

Guys, cut it out.

- There you go my friend.
- Thank you, Sir.

Are you serious?

You down?

You look like you need it.

At least do it
under the table.

Cool.

Cheers.

Yeah, the students
did a lot this year.

Oh, sure.

Excuse me.

Nice talking to you.

I'll be back.

Having fun?

Oh, I am having a blast.

Looks like it.

Yeah.

You look nice.

So do you.

I haven't seen you for awhile.

Yeah, I've been around.

Hm, The Mysterious
Mr. Wells.

So would it be a breach

of conduct if I
asked you to dance?

I don't think anybody
cares that we're here anyway.

Yeah, it doesn't look
like it.

Shall we?

We shall.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it's time to slow things down.

I've actually
never done this before.

Oo, everyone's
trying to figure out

how to grind in slow motion.

Can I call someone
to come pick you up?

I'm
okay, I can go back in.

Where is it?

It's gone.

It better be.

Now, get back inside.

We're gonna check on you later.

Okay.

Judy, wait.

I need to talk to you.

Okay.

I've really
enjoyed spending time

with you since you've been back.

Me too.

And it's made me
realize something.

Before you left, I always
felt a certain way about you,

but I never said anything

because I was afraid
I wasn't good enough.

You were perfect and I wasn't.

I've done everything
I possibly can

to avoid having
this conversation.

I told myself I was fine
with the way things were,

but I can't keep pretending
to be fine all the time.

I can't go back in
there and dance with you

and joke around and not
have it mean anything.

And I can't sit around
and watch you fall

for Alex or whoever else
without ever knowing

if it could have been me,

because that's what I want.

Frank, I didn't know.

Um...

I don't know what to say.

I care about you too,
but in a different way.

Sorry, I don't wanna hurt you,

but I spend every
day taking care

of other people and
worrying about them.

I'm not asking you
to take care of me.

I know.

I just need someone who's
gonna take care of me.

I'm not perfect.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

Have fun.

So just
order in for dinner.

I didn't have time
to make anything.

We'll be good.

Thank you, sir.

- Love you.
- All right, love you, too.

Have fun.

Just call me if
you need anything.

We won't be that far away.

They'll be fine.

Watch out for your sister.

We'll sleep in shifts.

Bye.

Woods.

Woods?

Okay, let's
see, daddy's new toy.

Let's see if I'm
working this right.

Yes, red light's on.

It's pretty cool, right?

I know it's not as
cool as your balloon.

I hope I'm doin' this right.

Hey, dude.

Look at the camera for me.

Say hi.

Jeez.

What are you doin'?

- Shit, was it loud?
- Later, see what she thinks.

- I was up.
- Hey pal.

- Sorry, I found it
- Frank?

on the shelf, got curious.

Bless you.

My goodness. What
are you sneezin' for?

You wanna hang out
for a few minutes?

You goofy?

Yeah. Maybe you're
allergic to the balloon.

I was just admiring
your dad's camerawork.

Award winning.

You remember this?

No.

Can you say hi
to your mom? Say hi, Mom.

No, no way.

- This was at the old house.
- Balloon's more interesting.

Frank, hey buddy?

Take a look at the
camera would ya?

Nope, he's his own man.

He's doin' his own
thing.

He's a good looking kid.

Ladies and gentlemen here

is the future captain
of the football team.

You'll be a stud buddy.

The girls are gonna be linin' up

to get to ya with
a strut like that.

Handsome guy like you.

That's right.

You're gonna be fightin' the
girls off with a stick buddy.

Look at this guy
struttin' around.

Cheerleaders, you're gonna
be swimmin' in cheerleaders.

They're gonna be all over you.

Right buddy?

That's right.

Big man on campus.
Look at that strut.

What are you doing?

Just shut up.

Relax.

Can't let it go, you
gotta hold onto it.

Hold on, don't let it go.

Don't let it go.

Oh, hold on, get it.

No, there it goes.

Say bye.

Lorraine?

Wait!

Lorraine!

That's Angela's job.

She got an
important phone call.

Besides, it's the
least I can do.

Okay.

I'll dry.

So,

I talked to my friend Gina,

her roommates are
cool with me crashing

with them 'til I find
something decent.

You know you can
stay here, right?

I can't keep waiting around.

I have to just do it.

Yeah, I guess.

You wanna finish that movie?

Sure.

All right, let's get into it.

Erin, can you pass
those out please?

Okay.

If there are no
dissenters among us,

I'm gonna put you guys in pairs.

Heather you're with Tom.

Melissa with Katie.

Henry with Courtney.

Paul you're with Lindsey.

Anthony and Erin.

Ben and Allyson.

I mean, gluten is clearly

the worst thing
possible for you.

Absolutely.

- I had one session-
- Do you even know

what gluten is?

It's bread, I think.

But anyway.

How are you?

Good, how are you?

Good.

How's your class?

It's good.

Yeah.

I do a lot of
hanging upside down.

Eight-minute abs, right?

Hey, we should
do eight-minute abs

in the classroom once a day.

Change our lives.

Yeah, ya think?

Yeah and cut out gluten.

Why do you keep
lookin' at that thing?

It's late. I have
to pick up the key

from her roommate before
she leaves for work.

What?

Is there traffic?

You're gonna make
it, take it easy.

Oh, Jesus.

All right...

Tell your parents I really
appreciate everything.

Yeah, will do.

Thanks, asshole.

A true classic.

I don't
think I'd go that far.

Well, it's
not up for discussion.

It's a classic.

It's like Mother's cooking.

Mother's cooking?

Dave, I've been to your house.

Your mother cannot cook.

Well, I meant your
mother's cooking, Schmitty.

Tell her I'm sorry I haven't
called her back, by the way.

And also tell her to
tune in tomorrow morning

for a new segment called
"Cripple Versus Cripple,"

during which the
most valid invalid

in the tri-state
area, yours truly,

will engage in
some healthy debate

with my good friend Frank Wells.

It should be very intriguing

so you certainly
don't wanna miss it.

And for now, here's another song

to help start your
day the correct way.

♪ Why ♪

♪ Take away what you crave ♪

♪ You gotta live a
little to feel okay ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I don't even care
what they say ♪

♪ Don't really think
about 'em anyway ♪

♪ It gets harder
just before release ♪

♪ It gets easy
when you're free ♪

♪ Why don't we say ♪

♪ Why can't we play ♪

♪ Our ♪

♪ Why don't we say ♪

♪ Why can't we play ♪

♪ Our own game ♪