Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,377 --> 00:00:13,377
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:15,567 --> 00:00:17,669
I talked to Jenny McAullife
today.
3
00:00:17,702 --> 00:00:19,136
Lord, why?
4
00:00:19,169 --> 00:00:20,170
She cornered me.
5
00:00:21,171 --> 00:00:23,040
What did you guys talk about?
6
00:00:23,073 --> 00:00:24,441
I don't even remember.
7
00:00:24,476 --> 00:00:27,211
She was going on and on about
something really boring,
8
00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:31,716
like a family car trip, and
she was just so excited.
9
00:00:31,749 --> 00:00:33,417
It was so weird.
10
00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:35,352
It's not like she was
talking about a new boyfriend
11
00:00:35,385 --> 00:00:38,288
or seeing her favorite band.
12
00:00:38,322 --> 00:00:40,257
She was just psyched.
13
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,227
Like high on life.
14
00:00:44,094 --> 00:00:48,766
Yeah, war, child abuse, poverty,
disease,
15
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,235
life gets me wasted.
16
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:52,470
And I was thinking,
17
00:00:52,504 --> 00:00:55,405
I've never been that excited
about anything and I'm like 17.
18
00:00:55,439 --> 00:00:58,676
It's only gonna get lamer
and more boring from here.
19
00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:00,645
People who are that happy are
insane.
20
00:01:03,748 --> 00:01:05,148
We're doomed.
21
00:02:15,687 --> 00:02:18,856
Well peeps, it's Friday
and you are all set
22
00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:20,324
for another weekend.
23
00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:25,195
Yeah, that's slammin'.
24
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:27,230
And while most of you
will do the right thing
25
00:02:27,264 --> 00:02:30,535
like doing homework and going to
church,
26
00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,436
some of you will be putting your
futures
27
00:02:32,470 --> 00:02:34,204
and your very lives at stake.
28
00:02:35,138 --> 00:02:39,577
Yes, homeboys and girls,
I'm talking about partying.
29
00:02:43,347 --> 00:02:46,350
Check your head, and
don't believe the hype.
30
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:50,387
It's no difference if it's
brewskies or the kind herb,
31
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:54,626
coke, crank, smack, LSD, PCP,
32
00:02:54,659 --> 00:02:58,730
model airplane glue,
vaginal, oral, or anal.
33
00:03:00,865 --> 00:03:03,601
It all leads to the same place.
34
00:03:03,635 --> 00:03:08,573
Jail, the hospital or the
graveyard.
35
00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:09,607
For reals.
36
00:03:12,677 --> 00:03:14,277
Holla if ya hear me.
37
00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:17,649
Has Mrs. Feen ever even had sex?
38
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:24,555
So let's all give it up and turn
it loose
39
00:03:24,589 --> 00:03:28,191
and watch these three
short educational films,
40
00:03:28,225 --> 00:03:29,494
You Booze, You Lose,
41
00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:31,496
The BloodStained Cell Phone,
42
00:03:31,529 --> 00:03:33,865
and Conchita Has Genital Warts.
43
00:03:41,405 --> 00:03:42,540
Hall lockers,
44
00:03:42,573 --> 00:03:44,575
true windows to the soul.
Ugly dykes.
45
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:48,980
These are the innocent,
carefree good times
46
00:03:49,013 --> 00:03:50,882
we'll remember the rest of our
lives.
47
00:04:00,625 --> 00:04:02,794
Pain is weakness leaving the
body?
48
00:04:03,728 --> 00:04:06,964
So what, if you get run over
by a car it makes you stronger?
49
00:04:06,998 --> 00:04:08,466
Or what about getting bone
cancer?
50
00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:09,467
I hear that's painful.
51
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,735
You'd be hella strong then.
52
00:04:10,768 --> 00:04:11,636
He's cute.
53
00:04:13,705 --> 00:04:15,305
You're worse than my mother.
54
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,574
He'd do it with you and then
laugh
55
00:04:16,607 --> 00:04:18,710
and send all his friends
pictures.
56
00:04:18,743 --> 00:04:19,544
Can't I even look?
57
00:04:19,577 --> 00:04:20,678
They can't be all bad.
58
00:04:23,313 --> 00:04:25,449
Y'know, we should be lesbians.
59
00:04:25,483 --> 00:04:26,818
I can't do the wardrobe.
60
00:04:27,985 --> 00:04:29,386
Also that partner word.
61
00:04:29,419 --> 00:04:31,489
Yuck, Partner sounds like you
work
62
00:04:31,522 --> 00:04:33,758
at a law firm or co-own a muffin
shop.
63
00:04:33,791 --> 00:04:36,494
Muffin shop.
64
00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:39,497
Yo, what did one lesbian vampire
65
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:40,932
say to the other lesbian
vampire?
66
00:04:40,965 --> 00:04:42,467
We don't care.
67
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:43,968
See you next month.
68
00:04:46,003 --> 00:04:47,437
Well, that's my cue.
69
00:04:47,472 --> 00:04:48,806
Talk to you later.
See ya.
70
00:04:52,744 --> 00:04:54,011
Yo.
71
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,514
You know what your problem is?
72
00:04:57,347 --> 00:04:59,550
Did I consent to this
conversation?
73
00:04:59,584 --> 00:05:00,918
You think you smarter than
everybody.
74
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,419
'Cause you all serious all the
time
75
00:05:02,453 --> 00:05:03,554
and 'cause I always clowning and
whatevs,
76
00:05:03,588 --> 00:05:05,957
you think I'm not thoughtful and
shit.
77
00:05:05,990 --> 00:05:06,924
Well, yes.
78
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,760
But my shit is deep, though.
79
00:05:09,694 --> 00:05:11,496
And how deep would that shit be?
80
00:05:11,529 --> 00:05:12,697
Yo, check this.
81
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:16,501
So I used to wonder so few
black people are serial killers.
82
00:05:16,534 --> 00:05:18,002
But then I figured it out.
83
00:05:18,035 --> 00:05:19,771
The whole thing about
being a serial killer
84
00:05:19,804 --> 00:05:22,339
is that cops leave 'em alone
so you do it again and again.
85
00:05:22,372 --> 00:05:24,575
Jeffrey Dahmer's got some
rotten dead guy in his freezer
86
00:05:24,609 --> 00:05:26,711
cops come over, well Mr. Dahmer,
87
00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:28,079
we've had some complaints about
a smell,
88
00:05:28,112 --> 00:05:30,047
but looks like everything's fine
here.
89
00:05:30,081 --> 00:05:31,115
Why don't you get back to skull
fucking
90
00:05:31,149 --> 00:05:33,985
that corpse you just
warmed up in the microwave.
91
00:05:34,018 --> 00:05:35,453
Brother can't do that.
92
00:05:35,486 --> 00:05:36,319
Black man walkin' down the
street,
93
00:05:36,353 --> 00:05:37,688
the cops go hey hey what's your
name?
94
00:05:37,722 --> 00:05:38,890
Show me some ID, get in the car,
95
00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:39,924
we're gonna beat your ass
96
00:05:39,957 --> 00:05:41,893
until you confess to
something you ain't done.
97
00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:43,494
There ain't no time to pick up
20 girls
98
00:05:43,528 --> 00:05:45,362
on the street and make
hooker soup out of 'em.
99
00:05:45,395 --> 00:05:48,398
Police be on a brother's
ass every other week.
100
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:52,537
Stevie, do you actually
know any black people?
101
00:05:54,806 --> 00:05:55,673
No.
102
00:05:55,706 --> 00:05:56,707
But you know why?
103
00:05:56,741 --> 00:05:59,544
'Cause it's a racist conspiracy.
104
00:05:59,577 --> 00:06:01,712
Oh hang on, you got
something on your face.
105
00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:08,119
Okay, that was cute,
but I'm going this way,
106
00:06:08,152 --> 00:06:09,754
and you're going that way.
107
00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:11,989
No worries, no bigness.
108
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:14,391
Tell your Mama she was on her
game the day she made you.
109
00:06:14,424 --> 00:06:16,127
You a fine little meow meow.
110
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,028
Meow meow.
111
00:06:20,397 --> 00:06:22,033
French philosopher Octave
Mirbeau
112
00:06:22,066 --> 00:06:25,402
once wrote the universe
appears to me like an immense,
113
00:06:25,435 --> 00:06:27,038
inexorable torture garden.
114
00:06:27,071 --> 00:06:29,372
Do you agree or disagree and
why?
115
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:34,411
I feel this is a trick question.
116
00:06:35,179 --> 00:06:39,116
Life is torture for everyone
who's not stupid or super rich.
117
00:06:40,151 --> 00:06:43,120
But that answer will make
you think that I am someone
118
00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:45,723
who will spend their whole time
at school
119
00:06:46,858 --> 00:06:48,159
starting campus protests.
120
00:06:48,192 --> 00:06:49,493
So,
121
00:06:51,095 --> 00:06:53,430
no, I disagree.
122
00:06:54,364 --> 00:06:57,768
The universe is a beautiful
place full of laughing babies
123
00:06:57,802 --> 00:06:59,904
and puppies that fart rainbows.
124
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:02,640
Describe the world
125
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:05,877
within 100 feet of you right
now.
126
00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:06,878
Okay.
127
00:07:06,911 --> 00:07:11,816
Well, there's my dad,
who is probably peeing.
128
00:07:12,183 --> 00:07:14,485
My dad seems to be
peeing a lot these days.
129
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,856
Perhaps he is pregnant.
130
00:07:18,890 --> 00:07:21,926
My teddy bear Lionel.
131
00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:24,562
The vibrator I ordered online
132
00:07:24,595 --> 00:07:26,197
using my elderly neighbor's name
133
00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:28,666
so if my dad opened the
box I could just say
134
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,468
the mailman made a mistake.
135
00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:35,506
My custom magic 8 ball that
only gives me answers I like.
136
00:07:39,510 --> 00:07:43,881
And a sweaty fat chick
137
00:07:43,915 --> 00:07:47,885
sitting at a computer who really
hopes she gets into college
138
00:07:47,919 --> 00:07:49,921
so she can escape this butthole
of a town
139
00:07:49,954 --> 00:07:51,522
before it eats her alive.
140
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:55,126
Please attach a photo of
yourself.
141
00:08:36,968 --> 00:08:39,070
Aren't I old enough for grown-up
food?
142
00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,072
I don't have time to make two
meals.
143
00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:45,076
You,
144
00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:48,546
you need chew food.
145
00:08:48,579 --> 00:08:49,714
I am.
146
00:08:49,747 --> 00:08:52,216
No, you need chew more.
147
00:08:52,249 --> 00:08:54,752
40 times every bite.
148
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,620
Digest properly.
149
00:08:56,654 --> 00:09:00,891
Food expand in stomach, get
stuck in intestine for weeks.
150
00:09:02,226 --> 00:09:03,260
Even months.
151
00:09:03,294 --> 00:09:05,663
If that were true, wouldn't
people just explode?
152
00:09:05,696 --> 00:09:06,897
Don't be sassy.
153
00:09:08,699 --> 00:09:09,567
40 times.
154
00:09:11,002 --> 00:09:14,038
One, two, three,
155
00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:15,906
four, five.
156
00:09:16,807 --> 00:09:17,641
See?
157
00:09:17,675 --> 00:09:20,144
Six, seven, eight.
158
00:09:21,912 --> 00:09:23,848
Nine, 10, 11.
No chew?
159
00:09:30,788 --> 00:09:31,722
Do you have any mints?
160
00:09:31,756 --> 00:09:34,158
My mom will shit if she smells
this on me.
161
00:09:34,191 --> 00:09:35,059
Nolo problemo.
162
00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:45,136
I bow downeth before thee, noble
knave.
163
00:09:47,638 --> 00:09:48,939
Oh, show's starting.
164
00:09:50,941 --> 00:09:51,609
Isn't it cool when you see
165
00:09:51,642 --> 00:09:54,745
two ugly people totally in love?
166
00:09:54,779 --> 00:09:56,814
How do you know they're in love?
167
00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,082
They're probably both married
168
00:09:58,115 --> 00:10:00,684
and met on
fatsoswannahaveanaffair.com.
169
00:10:00,718 --> 00:10:02,953
Come on, he adores her.
170
00:10:02,987 --> 00:10:04,789
Cooking her dinner.
171
00:10:04,822 --> 00:10:07,591
Yeah, so he can hit that
droopy behind after.
172
00:10:08,959 --> 00:10:10,294
You mean right now.
173
00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:14,698
I feel bad we're watching.
174
00:10:14,732 --> 00:10:16,100
Not too bad, obviously.
175
00:10:19,403 --> 00:10:21,939
It's biological 'cause
he puts out chemicals
176
00:10:21,972 --> 00:10:23,274
in the air that go into her
brain
177
00:10:23,307 --> 00:10:26,143
and they make her feel all lovey
dovey.
178
00:10:26,177 --> 00:10:28,212
I saw a TV show about it.
179
00:10:28,245 --> 00:10:31,015
So that's why people fall in
love?
180
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:34,218
That's what people write books
and songs and poetry about?
181
00:10:35,219 --> 00:10:36,287
Chemicals?
182
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,254
The way we smell?
183
00:10:38,322 --> 00:10:39,590
Yeah, pretty much.
184
00:10:41,192 --> 00:10:42,660
Yeah, I dunno.
185
00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:55,873
Okay, now I feel bad for
watching.
186
00:10:57,374 --> 00:11:01,645
Oh my god, how does that even
work?
187
00:11:03,114 --> 00:11:04,982
I think we're venturing
into can't be unseen
188
00:11:05,015 --> 00:11:06,217
territory.
No.
189
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:14,091
As you know, the recent
gangland style murders
190
00:11:14,125 --> 00:11:17,361
at nearby Pettitville
Elementary School have given
191
00:11:17,394 --> 00:11:18,229
everyone in our community.
Did you do
192
00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,830
your college essays yet?
193
00:11:19,864 --> 00:11:21,332
No, my mom's paying someone to
do it.
194
00:11:21,365 --> 00:11:23,901
A pro, some guy she found on the
internet.
195
00:11:27,171 --> 00:11:31,342
Luckily, the School Board,
along with Coach Greene,
196
00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:33,410
using his position as head
197
00:11:33,444 --> 00:11:36,881
of Morgansfield Volunteer
Militia,
198
00:11:36,914 --> 00:11:39,183
have agreed upon a plan to keep
199
00:11:39,216 --> 00:11:42,786
us all safe at this unstable
time.
200
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,326
Stevie D tried to kiss me.
201
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,828
When?
After school.
202
00:11:50,861 --> 00:11:53,931
That plan involves arming
203
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:57,067
and training our janitorial
staff.
204
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,404
What?
Sometimes I am glad I'm ugly
205
00:12:00,437 --> 00:12:03,073
so I don't have d-bags hitting
on me.
206
00:12:03,107 --> 00:12:04,808
You're not ugly.
207
00:12:04,842 --> 00:12:06,478
You'll always be more popular
than me.
208
00:12:06,511 --> 00:12:08,212
If we didn't have ballet class
together when we were seven,
209
00:12:08,245 --> 00:12:10,047
we wouldn't be friends now.
Staff can become
210
00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,882
the good guys with the guns.
211
00:12:11,916 --> 00:12:13,317
See, what's that?
Hey.
212
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:18,289
You gonna go be all cool without
me?
213
00:12:19,857 --> 00:12:22,760
Our head janitor and newly named
214
00:12:22,793 --> 00:12:26,931
Chief of School Security, Jaime
Jimenez.
215
00:12:33,437 --> 00:12:35,839
Does this pity party have a
dress code?
216
00:12:35,873 --> 00:12:36,907
Just stop.
217
00:12:36,941 --> 00:12:38,976
What if I don't wanna stop?
I love the students
218
00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,744
in this school.
219
00:12:40,778 --> 00:12:45,783
But even more, I love to
be crime stopping hero
220
00:12:45,983 --> 00:12:47,418
shooting the bad guys.
221
00:12:48,986 --> 00:12:52,756
Thanks you for this
opportunity to live my dreams.
222
00:12:53,791 --> 00:12:57,828
And go tigers.
223
00:13:17,948 --> 00:13:20,317
Next on Knocked Up Castaways,
224
00:13:20,351 --> 00:13:24,522
Bree is 32 weeks and finds the
last coconut on St. Marcos.
225
00:13:26,591 --> 00:13:30,127
Janet, what's a five
letter word for mistake?
226
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,062
Starts with a B?
227
00:13:32,096 --> 00:13:32,997
I don't know.
228
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,303
Dad, do we have any ice cream?
229
00:13:39,336 --> 00:13:40,472
I ate the last.
230
00:13:40,505 --> 00:13:42,273
Thanks.
231
00:13:42,306 --> 00:13:43,274
Well there's peppermint cake.
232
00:13:43,307 --> 00:13:46,478
From like two years ago,
I hate peppermint cake.
233
00:13:46,511 --> 00:13:48,145
I know.
234
00:13:48,178 --> 00:13:50,114
That's why it's still there, I
guess.
235
00:13:52,383 --> 00:13:54,118
[Female Announcer] I used to
doubt myself.
236
00:13:54,151 --> 00:13:57,421
Worried about whether I was
good enough, pretty enough.
237
00:13:57,455 --> 00:14:00,424
If the things I felt were
wrong, or even crazy.
238
00:14:01,325 --> 00:14:04,962
That's why I talked to
my doctor about Femtrexl.
239
00:14:04,995 --> 00:14:06,997
If you are a woman 14-70
240
00:14:07,031 --> 00:14:11,168
and feel overwhelmed by your
feelings, Femtrexl can help.
241
00:14:11,201 --> 00:14:12,836
Femtrexl can also help you
242
00:14:12,870 --> 00:14:14,905
manage your weight without
dieting.
243
00:14:16,373 --> 00:14:18,242
For your free trial, call this
number
244
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:20,578
or text to 56495.
245
00:14:23,213 --> 00:14:25,550
Possible side effects of
Femtrexl include dry mouth,
246
00:14:25,583 --> 00:14:27,384
irritability, hallucinations,
depression,
247
00:14:27,418 --> 00:14:28,886
suicidal thoughts, mood swings,
248
00:14:28,919 --> 00:14:30,321
and hormonal changes
including discontinuation
249
00:14:30,354 --> 00:14:32,022
of the menstrual cycle.
Boner.
250
00:14:32,056 --> 00:14:33,424
What?
251
00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:35,426
Boner, the word.
252
00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:36,461
Boner?
253
00:14:36,494 --> 00:14:37,495
That's the word?
254
00:14:37,529 --> 00:14:39,029
Yes, Dad.
255
00:14:39,063 --> 00:14:39,930
Boner.
256
00:15:28,445 --> 00:15:29,346
The security question
257
00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:32,383
is what was your favorite
teacher's name?
258
00:15:32,416 --> 00:15:33,618
If my memory was that good
259
00:15:33,651 --> 00:15:36,286
I wouldn't have forgotten my
stupid password to begin with.
260
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:37,921
Prettygirl68.
261
00:15:37,955 --> 00:15:39,557
You only have two password.
262
00:15:39,591 --> 00:15:40,424
Oh great,
263
00:15:40,458 --> 00:15:41,659
now the person at the door knows
it, too.
264
00:15:41,693 --> 00:15:42,660
You worry too much.
265
00:15:42,694 --> 00:15:45,095
Nobody steal like that.
And all Christmas music
266
00:15:45,129 --> 00:15:47,264
is made in September.
267
00:15:47,297 --> 00:15:48,966
Tricking or treating?
268
00:15:48,999 --> 00:15:49,933
Is Kat home?
269
00:15:50,968 --> 00:15:52,336
She not home.
270
00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:54,304
Can I help you with something?
271
00:15:54,338 --> 00:15:56,273
We were supposed to do homework
together.
272
00:15:56,306 --> 00:15:57,609
Do you know where she is?
273
00:15:57,642 --> 00:15:59,042
It Halloween.
274
00:15:59,076 --> 00:16:00,444
She probably out there
frightening
275
00:16:00,478 --> 00:16:02,446
little children and old people.
276
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,347
You want wait?
277
00:16:10,187 --> 00:16:12,557
You know, you have pretty face.
278
00:16:15,627 --> 00:16:16,927
Looking at you,
279
00:16:18,295 --> 00:16:21,666
I am thinking we can do
something very nice together.
280
00:16:21,699 --> 00:16:23,568
You might not like it at start,
281
00:16:23,601 --> 00:16:26,370
but it will make you feel very,
very good.
282
00:16:27,639 --> 00:16:29,273
I show you.
283
00:16:29,306 --> 00:16:30,340
First time, no problem.
284
00:16:30,374 --> 00:16:34,244
No, I really don't...
Come on, it won't take long.
285
00:16:34,278 --> 00:16:35,513
There is room in basement.
286
00:16:45,723 --> 00:16:47,659
Is very good for burning fat.
287
00:16:52,530 --> 00:16:53,665
Okay, you try.
288
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:55,767
Wait, wait.
289
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,669
It's not bad time of month, no?
290
00:16:58,636 --> 00:16:59,471
No.
291
00:16:59,504 --> 00:17:00,738
Oh, good.
292
00:17:00,772 --> 00:17:03,240
Never exercise during that time,
never.
293
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:04,374
Also, no camping, okay?
294
00:17:04,408 --> 00:17:07,311
The smell, it attract bear
and wolf from miles away.
295
00:17:07,344 --> 00:17:09,079
You sure enough dead.
296
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:12,282
It's okay, Asians don't camp
really.
297
00:17:13,350 --> 00:17:15,085
Interesting.
298
00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:15,986
Please.
299
00:17:17,522 --> 00:17:19,022
You do 20.
20?
300
00:17:19,056 --> 00:17:19,691
Yes.
301
00:17:19,724 --> 00:17:21,191
I've never done one.
302
00:17:22,426 --> 00:17:24,161
Okay.
Come on.
303
00:17:24,194 --> 00:17:25,463
Yeah, you can do it.
304
00:17:25,497 --> 00:17:26,363
Come on.
305
00:17:27,364 --> 00:17:29,534
Burn the baby fat, burn it.
306
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:30,434
That hurts.
307
00:17:31,335 --> 00:17:35,372
In my country, women have
to be tough like boys.
308
00:17:35,405 --> 00:17:37,207
Is that to fight the bears?
309
00:17:37,241 --> 00:17:40,244
I am more traditional American
guy.
310
00:17:40,277 --> 00:17:42,246
I take care of money.
311
00:17:42,279 --> 00:17:44,147
She stay home and be pretty.
312
00:17:46,684 --> 00:17:48,118
Whoa.
313
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,755
Easy there, Mike Tyson,
it's just exercise.
314
00:17:50,788 --> 00:17:51,789
Woo.
315
00:17:51,823 --> 00:17:53,423
You're a fast learner.
316
00:17:55,225 --> 00:17:57,595
Whoa, whoa, got an invite?
317
00:17:57,629 --> 00:17:59,263
Yo dog, I'm a s'more.
318
00:17:59,296 --> 00:18:02,099
Selling grams to crackers, you
feel me?
319
00:18:02,132 --> 00:18:03,400
Come on, man, no invite, no
party.
320
00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:05,570
Oh, come on man, help a brother
out.
321
00:18:06,471 --> 00:18:08,138
Get outta here.
322
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,039
Next.
323
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:19,249
Jesus, are you stalking me?
324
00:18:19,283 --> 00:18:20,117
Sometimes not that much
difference
325
00:18:20,150 --> 00:18:22,787
between extra friendly and
criminal.
326
00:18:24,622 --> 00:18:25,790
Nice costume.
327
00:18:25,823 --> 00:18:27,692
Who you supposed to be?
328
00:18:27,725 --> 00:18:29,627
I'm a Roy Lichtenstein painting.
329
00:18:30,828 --> 00:18:32,797
Lichtenstein, he's good.
330
00:18:33,831 --> 00:18:35,432
Can you sneak me in?
331
00:18:35,466 --> 00:18:36,534
No.
332
00:18:36,568 --> 00:18:38,736
Come on, we'll go in
together, it'll be super easy.
333
00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:40,738
I don't want to go back in, it's
boring.
334
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:43,775
Well then at least could you let
me
335
00:18:43,808 --> 00:18:45,375
took on that boom shaka laka.
336
00:18:59,657 --> 00:19:02,627
That's good, that relaxes me.
337
00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:03,628
I can see that.
338
00:19:05,262 --> 00:19:07,197
You know how like you can
339
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:11,201
bring a dog on a plane
now without being blind?
340
00:19:12,135 --> 00:19:13,871
You just need like a
letter from your doctor
341
00:19:13,905 --> 00:19:15,840
that says it helps you relax.
342
00:19:15,873 --> 00:19:17,475
What kind of shit is that?
343
00:19:17,508 --> 00:19:18,175
Helps you relax.
344
00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:20,143
You know what helps me relax?
345
00:19:20,177 --> 00:19:21,613
A bong and a big booty stripper.
346
00:19:21,646 --> 00:19:23,615
They don't let me bring
that on a plane, though.
347
00:19:23,648 --> 00:19:25,349
Strippers, huh?
348
00:19:25,382 --> 00:19:26,584
You can't even get into
a high school party,
349
00:19:26,618 --> 00:19:28,519
how do you get let in a strip
club?
350
00:19:31,689 --> 00:19:33,390
What are you kids doing here?
351
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,292
We live here.
352
00:19:35,325 --> 00:19:36,461
Brandon's our brother.
353
00:19:36,494 --> 00:19:38,830
He kicked us out until the
party's over.
354
00:19:38,863 --> 00:19:41,599
They're using my room
for corn oil wrestling.
355
00:19:41,633 --> 00:19:43,468
Where are your parents?
356
00:19:43,501 --> 00:19:44,769
In Costa Rica.
357
00:19:44,802 --> 00:19:45,870
I wanna go to bed.
358
00:19:46,871 --> 00:19:47,705
Why don't you guys talk
359
00:19:47,739 --> 00:19:49,507
to those nice men over there,
okay?
360
00:19:49,540 --> 00:19:50,642
They'll put you to bed.
361
00:19:53,511 --> 00:19:55,680
My bro sneaks me into
Sugars in Middlefield.
362
00:19:55,713 --> 00:19:57,482
Told 'em I was 25.
363
00:19:57,515 --> 00:19:58,616
They bought it, too.
364
00:19:58,650 --> 00:19:59,416
25?
365
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:01,853
Is it a strip club for the
blind?
366
00:20:01,886 --> 00:20:04,856
Unicorn, freeze!
367
00:20:04,889 --> 00:20:06,189
High protein.
368
00:20:07,558 --> 00:20:10,193
Doesn't Kat's mom have a
business?
369
00:20:10,227 --> 00:20:11,729
She did.
370
00:20:11,763 --> 00:20:14,932
In Graysville, a vintage used
pillow shop.
371
00:20:14,966 --> 00:20:16,801
What happened to it?
372
00:20:16,834 --> 00:20:18,235
Bedbugs.
373
00:20:19,737 --> 00:20:21,773
People kept returning pillows
374
00:20:21,806 --> 00:20:23,741
with rash on side of face,
375
00:20:23,775 --> 00:20:28,345
red bites on the neck,
internet reviews not so good.
376
00:20:28,378 --> 00:20:29,714
Yeesh.
377
00:20:29,747 --> 00:20:32,315
Diane, very rich lady,
378
00:20:33,785 --> 00:20:36,253
not so smart at financials.
379
00:20:36,286 --> 00:20:40,625
When Vigara was coming out,
she invested in Spanish Fly.
380
00:20:42,927 --> 00:20:44,562
Nothing you need to understand.
381
00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:54,539
She is foolish to stay at work.
382
00:20:54,572 --> 00:20:59,544
Women are good at certain
things, feelings, love, worrying.
383
00:20:59,744 --> 00:21:02,580
Men are good at other things.
384
00:21:02,613 --> 00:21:06,484
Money, killing, growing beard.
385
00:21:07,518 --> 00:21:08,820
Creating amazing technologies
386
00:21:08,853 --> 00:21:10,722
that will eventually destroy us
all.
387
00:21:12,857 --> 00:21:13,725
Yes.
388
00:21:20,430 --> 00:21:21,966
I can't believe I'm doing this.
389
00:21:21,999 --> 00:21:22,900
Girl, why you frontin'?
390
00:21:22,934 --> 00:21:24,736
You wet as a mermaid.
391
00:21:27,905 --> 00:21:29,741
Do you have a condom?
392
00:21:29,774 --> 00:21:31,876
Chill baby, I got my golden
ticket.
393
00:21:34,011 --> 00:21:35,780
Are you sure it's on right?
394
00:21:35,813 --> 00:21:37,882
It's all good, all right?
395
00:21:37,915 --> 00:21:39,617
It's all good.
396
00:21:39,650 --> 00:21:40,651
Oh.
397
00:21:40,685 --> 00:21:42,319
Oh yeah.
398
00:21:42,352 --> 00:21:44,655
That's it, yeah.
399
00:21:44,689 --> 00:21:45,556
Oh, you nasty.
400
00:21:45,590 --> 00:21:48,926
Oh, oh, oh, atta boy.
401
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,293
That's mama's home cookin' right
there.
402
00:21:50,327 --> 00:21:52,029
Get the groceries, get the
groceries.
403
00:22:02,439 --> 00:22:03,574
Are you done?
404
00:22:03,608 --> 00:22:05,009
Yeah, baby.
405
00:22:05,042 --> 00:22:06,443
Like a ninja.
406
00:22:06,477 --> 00:22:08,012
Lightning fast with deadly
skill.
407
00:22:10,948 --> 00:22:11,816
Oh.
408
00:22:14,351 --> 00:22:15,820
I know, you're welcome.
409
00:22:17,488 --> 00:22:19,991
What are you kids, oh my God.
410
00:22:20,024 --> 00:22:21,793
Just get your clothes
on and get out of my car
411
00:22:21,826 --> 00:22:23,795
before I call the police.
412
00:22:25,062 --> 00:22:26,798
Are these yours or mine? These
are mine.
413
00:22:31,401 --> 00:22:34,105
Oh come on, you knew I didn't
have no car.
414
00:22:34,138 --> 00:22:35,640
You loved it.
415
00:22:35,673 --> 00:22:37,041
No, I can't say that I did.
416
00:22:38,643 --> 00:22:40,778
And you cannot tell anyone about
this.
417
00:22:48,385 --> 00:22:50,054
Jesus, are you psycho?
418
00:22:51,155 --> 00:22:52,023
Dude, where were you?
419
00:22:52,056 --> 00:22:52,890
Don't call me dude.
420
00:22:52,924 --> 00:22:55,960
I'm not your bro and it's not
4:20.
421
00:22:55,993 --> 00:22:56,961
What happened to your face?
422
00:22:56,994 --> 00:22:58,663
What were you doing?
423
00:23:00,164 --> 00:23:02,967
Just trying to be normal.
424
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,969
You should try it sometime.
425
00:23:07,705 --> 00:23:09,406
We were supposed to do homework.
426
00:23:09,439 --> 00:23:11,042
Did you go to that party?
427
00:23:11,075 --> 00:23:12,543
Yeah, it was heinous anus.
428
00:23:12,577 --> 00:23:13,911
Be glad you weren't invited.
429
00:23:17,081 --> 00:23:18,115
You suck.
430
00:23:19,550 --> 00:23:21,418
Yeah, I probably do.
431
00:23:39,036 --> 00:23:40,071
It's her.
432
00:23:46,777 --> 00:23:48,045
What?
433
00:23:48,079 --> 00:23:49,013
Bathroom now.
434
00:23:53,017 --> 00:23:54,585
Is it true?
435
00:23:54,619 --> 00:23:56,419
You had sex with Smallie Smalls?
436
00:24:01,859 --> 00:24:03,426
Why?
437
00:24:03,461 --> 00:24:04,996
I don't know.
438
00:24:05,029 --> 00:24:06,497
You have failed me.
439
00:24:09,834 --> 00:24:11,135
Town bike?
440
00:24:11,869 --> 00:24:14,038
And look how he spells
Mayonnaise.
441
00:24:14,071 --> 00:24:15,139
Fuckin' retard.
442
00:24:16,207 --> 00:24:18,142
Who else has seen this?
443
00:24:18,175 --> 00:24:20,978
Well I've seen it, and I'm
always last.
444
00:24:28,586 --> 00:24:30,588
Okay, what do I do?
445
00:24:30,621 --> 00:24:31,555
Go home.
446
00:24:31,589 --> 00:24:33,658
Go to the nurse, say you have
bad cramps.
447
00:24:33,691 --> 00:24:35,192
I don't get my period
for another two weeks.
448
00:24:35,226 --> 00:24:37,929
She's not gonna check.
Right, right.
449
00:24:40,031 --> 00:24:41,766
I'm never gonna live this down.
450
00:24:42,533 --> 00:24:44,235
Maybe there'll be a shooting
later
451
00:24:44,268 --> 00:24:45,870
and people will forget all about
this.
452
00:24:58,215 --> 00:24:59,917
♪ Banjo I'm plunkin' ♪
453
00:24:59,951 --> 00:25:01,519
♪ My flow is sky high ♪
454
00:25:01,552 --> 00:25:02,954
♪ Yours is like a munchkin ♪
455
00:25:02,987 --> 00:25:04,822
♪ That ass I be lovin ♪
♪ Hey! ♪
456
00:25:11,629 --> 00:25:13,097
Hey, that is enough.
457
00:25:14,565 --> 00:25:16,000
I'll kill you, you fat bitch.
458
00:25:18,102 --> 00:25:21,238
Janet, we have a zero tolerance
policy
459
00:25:21,272 --> 00:25:22,740
towards bullying at Morgansfield
High.
460
00:25:22,773 --> 00:25:24,675
He humiliated my friend.
461
00:25:24,709 --> 00:25:26,644
Your friend and her boyfriend
here
462
00:25:26,677 --> 00:25:30,715
having a little lover's spat
is no excuse for violence.
463
00:25:30,748 --> 00:25:32,083
No, no, no.
464
00:25:33,784 --> 00:25:35,987
And perhaps your friend should
think twice
465
00:25:36,020 --> 00:25:38,789
about announcing to the whole
school
466
00:25:38,823 --> 00:25:43,494
her personal matters the way she
did.
467
00:25:44,295 --> 00:25:48,199
We are going to be watching
your every move, young lady.
468
00:25:48,232 --> 00:25:51,068
Now, I want you both to stand
up.
469
00:25:52,303 --> 00:25:53,771
Come on, stand up.
470
00:25:57,174 --> 00:25:58,142
Look at each other.
471
00:26:00,578 --> 00:26:01,779
Now apologize.
472
00:26:03,714 --> 00:26:04,582
Do it!
473
00:26:05,716 --> 00:26:07,651
I sorry.
474
00:26:07,685 --> 00:26:10,521
I also sorry.
475
00:26:12,590 --> 00:26:13,224
Now hug.
476
00:26:13,257 --> 00:26:14,258
What?
477
00:26:14,291 --> 00:26:15,259
You heard me.
478
00:26:28,205 --> 00:26:29,940
I'm gonna kill you!
Ow!
479
00:26:31,976 --> 00:26:34,745
I swear to god you're gonna be
dead.
480
00:26:34,779 --> 00:26:35,646
Oh my god.
481
00:26:38,716 --> 00:26:43,721
Janet, you're a smart
girl and a good student.
482
00:26:44,388 --> 00:26:46,157
I think what we are dealing with
here
483
00:26:46,190 --> 00:26:48,793
is bigger than a little
student altercation.
484
00:26:50,061 --> 00:26:52,029
Now I think what we're dealing
with here
485
00:26:52,063 --> 00:26:53,330
is a medical problem.
486
00:26:55,132 --> 00:26:57,301
Let's see if we can deal with
this
487
00:26:57,334 --> 00:26:59,870
without too much trouble, shall
we?
488
00:27:10,948 --> 00:27:12,316
Dad, what's all this crap?
489
00:27:13,384 --> 00:27:15,286
A man from the school came by.
490
00:27:15,319 --> 00:27:16,387
Brought you your medicine.
491
00:27:16,420 --> 00:27:18,756
Says it'll help you with your
grades.
492
00:27:18,789 --> 00:27:20,024
Who came by?
493
00:27:20,057 --> 00:27:22,626
A medicine salesman, a doctor.
494
00:27:27,832 --> 00:27:28,966
This is stupid.
495
00:27:28,999 --> 00:27:30,334
I'm not gonna take it.
496
00:27:31,302 --> 00:27:33,003
Sweetie, you have to.
497
00:27:33,037 --> 00:27:35,306
If you wanna stay in school,
that's what the man said.
498
00:27:39,043 --> 00:27:39,910
Fuck.
499
00:28:10,374 --> 00:28:11,543
And in the 1980s,
500
00:28:11,576 --> 00:28:14,245
America gained its greatest
leader of the 20th Century.
501
00:28:14,278 --> 00:28:15,679
And that would be?
502
00:28:15,713 --> 00:28:17,148
Ronald Reagan.
503
00:28:17,181 --> 00:28:18,349
Correct.
504
00:28:18,382 --> 00:28:22,052
Ronald Reagan is the president
who deregulated the banks,
505
00:28:22,086 --> 00:28:24,989
allowing this country
to enjoy unprecedented
506
00:28:25,022 --> 00:28:27,324
corporate growth and prosperity.
507
00:28:27,358 --> 00:28:29,827
He also vetoed dangerous
legislation
508
00:28:29,860 --> 00:28:32,196
like the Clean Air Act
that would have crippled
509
00:28:32,229 --> 00:28:35,032
American industry in
the name of the unproven
510
00:28:35,065 --> 00:28:37,902
health risks of air pollution.
Ow.
511
00:28:40,171 --> 00:28:42,106
Is there a problem back there?
512
00:28:42,139 --> 00:28:43,407
No.
Well,
513
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,210
perhaps you should go to
the principal's office
514
00:28:46,243 --> 00:28:48,979
if you're going to be
disrupting class like this.
515
00:28:54,318 --> 00:28:57,821
Ronald Reagan also created
tremendous business opportunities
516
00:28:57,855 --> 00:29:01,725
by allowing the CIA to funnel
cocaine into urban areas,
517
00:29:01,759 --> 00:29:03,961
allowing young African
American entrepreneurs
518
00:29:03,994 --> 00:29:06,764
to create what?
519
00:29:06,797 --> 00:29:08,165
Crack cocaine.
520
00:29:08,199 --> 00:29:10,100
Yes, crack.
521
00:29:10,134 --> 00:29:11,001
Very good.
522
00:30:59,410 --> 00:31:02,112
I don't think this bus
stop is active anymore.
523
00:31:03,047 --> 00:31:04,415
Oh, I'm just counting cars.
524
00:31:05,983 --> 00:31:06,950
Ford Focus.
525
00:31:07,619 --> 00:31:09,587
Is this some kind of YouTube
thing?
526
00:31:11,322 --> 00:31:12,956
Subaru Outback.
527
00:31:12,990 --> 00:31:13,857
YouTube?
528
00:31:14,659 --> 00:31:16,494
Oh, right, no.
529
00:31:16,528 --> 00:31:17,828
It's a long story.
530
00:31:18,797 --> 00:31:21,398
If you're worried about your
safety, I won't be here long.
531
00:31:24,268 --> 00:31:25,570
My name is Rian.
532
00:31:25,603 --> 00:31:26,870
R-I-A-N.
533
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:31,442
Sorry, I'm tripping or
something.
534
00:31:31,476 --> 00:31:32,343
Tripping?
535
00:31:33,277 --> 00:31:34,111
On drugs?
536
00:31:34,144 --> 00:31:35,045
Do you need a doctor?
537
00:31:35,079 --> 00:31:37,081
No, doctor gave them to me.
538
00:31:48,292 --> 00:31:51,995
So, why are you in a space?
539
00:31:52,029 --> 00:31:52,896
Janet?
540
00:31:54,998 --> 00:31:57,368
Would you like to go on a walk
with me?
541
00:31:57,401 --> 00:31:58,369
I didn't tell you my name.
542
00:31:58,402 --> 00:32:01,238
Yes you did, just right
before we shook hands.
543
00:32:05,677 --> 00:32:06,544
Sure.
544
00:32:12,182 --> 00:32:13,183
Oh, wow.
545
00:32:14,218 --> 00:32:15,152
Look at this.
546
00:32:17,254 --> 00:32:19,089
I thought these guys would
have all been killed off
547
00:32:19,123 --> 00:32:20,458
by pesticides by now.
548
00:32:23,561 --> 00:32:24,428
Make a wish.
549
00:32:25,295 --> 00:32:27,331
Don't tell me or it won't come
true.
550
00:32:36,508 --> 00:32:39,042
Aren't you hot in that suit?
551
00:32:39,076 --> 00:32:39,711
Well, there's germs out there
552
00:32:39,744 --> 00:32:41,945
that could be dangerous.
553
00:32:41,979 --> 00:32:44,248
May not have the immunity,
don't wanna risk it.
554
00:32:49,654 --> 00:32:51,355
Do you believe in UFOs?
555
00:32:51,388 --> 00:32:53,090
If aliens are visiting us,
556
00:32:53,123 --> 00:32:56,093
why is it always in some
cowboy town in New Mexico?
557
00:32:56,126 --> 00:32:59,029
Wouldn't they want to go
to the UN or something?
558
00:32:59,062 --> 00:33:01,599
Well, maybe because they're not
aliens.
559
00:33:01,633 --> 00:33:03,200
They're us trying to hide.
560
00:33:03,233 --> 00:33:06,604
What, like secret government
junk?
561
00:33:07,472 --> 00:33:09,072
It's a mistake.
562
00:33:09,106 --> 00:33:10,542
That's why they never hang out.
563
00:33:11,442 --> 00:33:14,244
The closest galaxy that could
support life is the Andromeda,
564
00:33:14,278 --> 00:33:16,481
which is over two
million light years away.
565
00:33:16,514 --> 00:33:19,082
That's two million years of
travel.
566
00:33:19,116 --> 00:33:21,218
That's shitloads hella far.
567
00:33:21,251 --> 00:33:24,388
They would have to leave
before humans even existed.
568
00:33:24,421 --> 00:33:25,590
Even with faster than light
travel,
569
00:33:25,623 --> 00:33:28,760
which is still theoretical,
even with a Krasnikov tube,
570
00:33:28,793 --> 00:33:30,662
they'd come back home in five
years
571
00:33:30,695 --> 00:33:33,263
and 5000 years would have
passed.
572
00:33:33,297 --> 00:33:37,201
All your friends long
dead, nobody remembers you.
573
00:33:39,036 --> 00:33:41,338
And for what, Big Mac?
574
00:33:42,740 --> 00:33:44,107
The Grand Canyon, maybe?
575
00:33:45,677 --> 00:33:47,712
Not really worth the
trip, don't you think?
576
00:33:48,746 --> 00:33:49,747
You lost me, dude.
577
00:33:52,416 --> 00:33:54,218
People think time is this.
578
00:33:55,219 --> 00:33:57,054
But it's like this.
579
00:33:57,087 --> 00:33:58,790
Different times running
parallel,
580
00:33:58,823 --> 00:34:00,991
and sometimes they run into each
other.
581
00:34:03,093 --> 00:34:05,295
So, you're from the future now?
582
00:34:06,263 --> 00:34:09,333
What makes insane people
always wanna talk to me?
583
00:34:09,366 --> 00:34:11,201
Should I scowl more?
Did you ever do something
584
00:34:11,235 --> 00:34:12,035
that changed the whole course
585
00:34:12,069 --> 00:34:13,505
of your life from that moment
on?
586
00:34:15,205 --> 00:34:16,741
Or when things get weird
587
00:34:16,774 --> 00:34:19,209
and you think who's life is
this?
588
00:34:19,243 --> 00:34:20,344
Maybe you just slipped
589
00:34:20,377 --> 00:34:22,346
into one of your alternate time
lines.
590
00:34:22,379 --> 00:34:24,414
You mean like right now?
591
00:34:24,448 --> 00:34:25,415
I'm time traveling?
592
00:34:25,449 --> 00:34:26,316
Well, sure.
593
00:34:27,217 --> 00:34:29,119
We're all time travelers.
594
00:34:29,152 --> 00:34:30,020
One, two,
595
00:34:31,121 --> 00:34:32,122
three, four.
596
00:34:33,858 --> 00:34:38,295
There we go, traveling
through time into the future.
597
00:34:39,664 --> 00:34:42,299
I think I'm too high for any of
this.
598
00:34:42,332 --> 00:34:43,635
You're just a side effect
anyway.
599
00:34:43,668 --> 00:34:45,269
I'm imagining you.
600
00:34:50,340 --> 00:34:51,208
Ow.
601
00:34:53,443 --> 00:34:54,612
You sure I'm not real?
602
00:34:58,148 --> 00:35:00,117
I think I should be going home
now.
603
00:35:06,156 --> 00:35:10,461
I'm trippin' my tits off.
604
00:35:12,262 --> 00:35:14,632
I've never been outside so long.
605
00:35:14,666 --> 00:35:19,671
I feel sort of exposed.
606
00:35:29,614 --> 00:35:31,081
Janet.
607
00:35:32,316 --> 00:35:33,183
Janet.
608
00:35:54,304 --> 00:35:55,873
Time to get up, kiddo.
609
00:36:13,558 --> 00:36:14,224
Hey.
610
00:36:14,257 --> 00:36:16,494
Thanks for remembering I exist.
611
00:36:17,662 --> 00:36:19,464
Sorry, I'm freaking out.
612
00:36:20,598 --> 00:36:22,900
Can't decide which rad party to
go to?
613
00:36:25,435 --> 00:36:26,838
I'm pregnant.
614
00:36:26,871 --> 00:36:28,506
What?
615
00:36:28,539 --> 00:36:29,907
Are you sure?
616
00:36:29,941 --> 00:36:31,542
I took the test.
617
00:36:32,242 --> 00:36:35,713
No way, I thought loser
face used a condom.
618
00:36:36,514 --> 00:36:40,217
I think he didn't, he just said
he did.
619
00:36:40,250 --> 00:36:41,653
How hard do you want me
to hit him this time?
620
00:36:41,686 --> 00:36:42,954
No, he can't know.
621
00:36:42,987 --> 00:36:44,822
What are you gonna do?
622
00:36:44,856 --> 00:36:48,191
I don't know, I'm
thinking about keeping it.
623
00:36:48,893 --> 00:36:50,795
Yeah, 'cause every kid wants
624
00:36:50,828 --> 00:36:53,263
to be born to a 17 year old
and some random douchebag.
625
00:36:53,296 --> 00:36:54,866
No, that's the point.
626
00:36:54,899 --> 00:36:59,537
Maybe I can be the world's worst
mom ever.
627
00:36:59,570 --> 00:37:02,239
Name it Hitler, cover
it with prison tattoos,
628
00:37:02,272 --> 00:37:05,275
really go all out with
it like an art project.
629
00:37:05,308 --> 00:37:06,844
You've had better ideas.
630
00:37:08,278 --> 00:37:10,915
If I go to the clinic,
will you come with me?
631
00:37:10,948 --> 00:37:11,616
My mom can't know.
632
00:37:11,649 --> 00:37:14,418
Her and Vlad will fucking flip.
633
00:37:14,451 --> 00:37:16,888
Yes, stupid questioner.
634
00:37:18,388 --> 00:37:19,724
Can you come over?
635
00:37:19,757 --> 00:37:20,792
And bring ice cream?
636
00:37:22,392 --> 00:37:23,895
Maybe.
637
00:37:23,928 --> 00:37:28,900
♪ I was there I heard the
crackling of the palms ♪
638
00:37:30,702 --> 00:37:32,837
♪ He came upstairs ♪
Whoa.
639
00:37:32,870 --> 00:37:34,972
Was that Mr. Muckles?
640
00:37:35,006 --> 00:37:35,840
Uh huh.
641
00:37:35,873 --> 00:37:37,075
It's a miracle.
642
00:37:37,108 --> 00:37:40,712
I've known you 10 years and
I've seen that cat like twice.
643
00:37:40,745 --> 00:37:41,979
Maybe it's a bad sign.
644
00:37:52,289 --> 00:37:54,659
Two coats of paint and they
still glow.
645
00:37:55,827 --> 00:37:57,995
Deadly radiation killing us
both.
646
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,367
Childhood refusing to leave
647
00:38:04,401 --> 00:38:05,803
even when asked nicely.
648
00:38:20,485 --> 00:38:22,252
Ms. Nuemann?
One second.
649
00:38:23,988 --> 00:38:25,857
I'm going to take you to
the see the doctor now.
650
00:38:25,890 --> 00:38:29,460
Is there anything you'd like
to say or any second thoughts?
651
00:38:29,494 --> 00:38:30,461
No.
652
00:38:30,495 --> 00:38:32,463
Do you have a ride home?
653
00:38:32,497 --> 00:38:34,632
And you don't have any
allergies to medication?
654
00:38:34,665 --> 00:38:36,768
No, just peanut butter.
655
00:38:37,502 --> 00:38:40,270
There are no peanuts
involved in the procedure.
656
00:38:43,808 --> 00:38:45,009
Dr. Blake?
657
00:38:45,042 --> 00:38:45,910
Hello, Katrine.
658
00:38:47,612 --> 00:38:49,580
You can't tell my mom about
this.
659
00:38:49,614 --> 00:38:52,550
My work here at the Woman's
Clinic is private and separate
660
00:38:52,583 --> 00:38:54,719
from my job as your family
pediatrician.
661
00:38:57,989 --> 00:38:59,557
I won't tell your mother.
662
00:39:03,928 --> 00:39:08,365
Y'know, I will never get over
my patients becoming adults.
663
00:39:08,398 --> 00:39:10,067
Seems like sooner every year.
664
00:39:11,636 --> 00:39:13,070
Sorry.
665
00:39:13,104 --> 00:39:15,940
I have eight year olds
menstruating.
666
00:39:15,973 --> 00:39:16,908
Yikes.
667
00:39:16,941 --> 00:39:18,375
I blame Fruit Roll-Ups.
668
00:39:19,577 --> 00:39:21,045
Anyway,
669
00:39:21,078 --> 00:39:23,681
how are you?
670
00:39:23,714 --> 00:39:24,916
Okay.
671
00:39:24,949 --> 00:39:26,617
Nervous.
672
00:39:26,651 --> 00:39:28,886
We're give you a mild
sedative, that should help.
673
00:39:29,921 --> 00:39:33,558
Are you gonna get me hopped
up on goofballs, Dr. Blake?
674
00:39:33,591 --> 00:39:34,926
No.
675
00:39:34,959 --> 00:39:36,861
No goofballs today, I'm afraid.
676
00:39:42,066 --> 00:39:47,071
Now Katrine, what we are
about to do is safe and legal.
677
00:39:47,305 --> 00:39:50,041
State law does not require
your parental consent
678
00:39:50,074 --> 00:39:51,943
or their knowledge of this
procedure.
679
00:39:52,810 --> 00:39:55,680
However, due to recent
changes in federal law,
680
00:39:55,713 --> 00:39:58,583
a police officer is required to
be here
681
00:39:58,616 --> 00:40:01,152
every time I do a procedure
682
00:40:01,185 --> 00:40:03,654
on an unmarried patient under
21.
683
00:40:20,204 --> 00:40:21,672
At your cervix.
684
00:40:36,187 --> 00:40:38,055
Quack, quack.
685
00:40:38,089 --> 00:40:39,690
Hello, Katrine.
686
00:40:44,462 --> 00:40:48,099
You're gonna feel a little
pressure, like a tummy ache.
687
00:40:57,475 --> 00:40:59,744
How's that sedative working?
688
00:41:07,218 --> 00:41:08,586
That's a good girl.
689
00:41:09,587 --> 00:41:10,420
Almost done.
690
00:41:13,057 --> 00:41:13,925
Almost.
691
00:41:35,613 --> 00:41:38,049
Three feet back, folks, that's
the law.
692
00:41:38,082 --> 00:41:39,517
Three feet back.
693
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:44,689
You killed your baby, you whore!
694
00:41:44,722 --> 00:41:45,523
Shut up!
695
00:41:45,556 --> 00:41:46,991
You're going to go to hell.
Shut up!
696
00:41:47,024 --> 00:41:49,794
Murderer, murderer!
697
00:41:49,827 --> 00:41:54,799
I'm never having sex
again or anything else.
698
00:41:54,832 --> 00:41:55,700
Ever again.
699
00:41:57,201 --> 00:41:58,936
It's all gonna be fine.
700
00:43:42,673 --> 00:43:44,275
The definition of a traitor is
someone
701
00:43:44,308 --> 00:43:47,078
who betrays a country
or a sacred institution.
702
00:43:47,778 --> 00:43:49,780
A traitor is especially
dangerous
703
00:43:49,814 --> 00:43:51,715
because they destroy from where?
704
00:43:53,184 --> 00:43:54,185
From within.
705
00:43:57,388 --> 00:43:59,256
History has given us many famous
traitors
706
00:43:59,290 --> 00:44:02,393
whose treacherous deeds have
killed
707
00:44:02,426 --> 00:44:05,396
and corrupted untold lives.
708
00:44:05,429 --> 00:44:07,865
Judas, Benedict Arnold,
709
00:44:07,898 --> 00:44:10,935
Mata Hari, Jane Fonda.
710
00:44:10,968 --> 00:44:13,204
But none so deadly as the man
711
00:44:13,237 --> 00:44:15,873
you probably have already heard
of,
712
00:44:16,575 --> 00:44:21,245
a dictator whose face and
name shall live in infamy.
713
00:44:22,179 --> 00:44:26,383
A man who, not so long ago,
a whole nation of wayward,
714
00:44:26,417 --> 00:44:30,855
supposedly civilized people
supported and even championed
715
00:44:30,888 --> 00:44:34,058
despite his evil, evil deeds.
716
00:44:42,233 --> 00:44:43,834
William Jefferson Clinton.
717
00:44:58,249 --> 00:44:59,950
How can they send you to sex
rehab
718
00:44:59,984 --> 00:45:01,752
when you've barely had sex?
719
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,421
I hate growing up.
720
00:45:04,456 --> 00:45:06,690
Your mother's the devil.
721
00:45:06,724 --> 00:45:08,425
She's not that bad.
Fine.
722
00:45:08,460 --> 00:45:10,027
The devil's doula, then.
723
00:45:12,163 --> 00:45:14,098
Your mother's crazy.
724
00:45:14,131 --> 00:45:16,267
Yeah, ever since she
went through the change,
725
00:45:16,300 --> 00:45:19,103
she got that PBS totebag
and it was all over.
726
00:45:19,136 --> 00:45:21,238
The sure sign of menopause.
727
00:45:21,272 --> 00:45:22,474
How long will you be gone?
728
00:45:22,507 --> 00:45:25,743
They won't tell me, till I get
better.
729
00:45:26,977 --> 00:45:29,880
You are not a sex addict.
730
00:45:29,914 --> 00:45:31,415
She says that one of the signs
731
00:45:31,448 --> 00:45:33,250
of sex addiction is lying about
it.
732
00:45:34,084 --> 00:45:36,921
No one's honest with
their parents about sex.
733
00:45:36,954 --> 00:45:38,255
Hey Mom, I'm going to the
football game
734
00:45:38,289 --> 00:45:40,291
to blow the starting lineup
behind the bleachers,
735
00:45:40,324 --> 00:45:42,059
be home by 11.
736
00:45:42,092 --> 00:45:43,227
Yeah.
737
00:45:43,260 --> 00:45:44,361
Will you visit me?
738
00:45:44,395 --> 00:45:46,498
It's like three hours away
and I won't have internet.
739
00:45:46,531 --> 00:45:48,165
Of course I'll visit.
740
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:51,735
Mom and Vlad will just buy a dog
741
00:45:51,769 --> 00:45:53,337
and pretend I never happened.
742
00:46:05,382 --> 00:46:06,250
Hey.
743
00:46:07,552 --> 00:46:09,153
Excuse me, can we?
744
00:46:26,437 --> 00:46:28,372
Katrine, I know I failed you.
745
00:46:29,406 --> 00:46:30,274
If I was a good mother,
746
00:46:30,307 --> 00:46:32,843
we would have talked about these
things.
747
00:46:32,876 --> 00:46:35,879
Mistakes you've made, mistakes
I've made.
748
00:46:37,047 --> 00:46:39,183
But at least now, before you go
away,
749
00:46:39,216 --> 00:46:40,751
we have some time to do that.
750
00:46:41,486 --> 00:46:43,387
Mom, is that really necessary?
751
00:46:43,420 --> 00:46:47,258
Yes, yeah it is.
752
00:46:47,291 --> 00:46:49,793
As long as we have.
You have four hours,
753
00:46:49,827 --> 00:46:52,296
29 minutes to your destination.
754
00:46:52,329 --> 00:46:55,065
As long as we have these
four hours and 29 minutes
755
00:46:55,099 --> 00:46:57,401
together we're gonna make the
most of it.
756
00:47:02,474 --> 00:47:04,275
Look, I'm old.
757
00:47:04,308 --> 00:47:06,944
When I was your age, the
rainbow hanging in the window
758
00:47:06,977 --> 00:47:08,513
of a store meant that
they sold televisions
759
00:47:08,546 --> 00:47:09,481
that were in color.
760
00:47:10,180 --> 00:47:13,551
I don't pretend to know what a
popular,
761
00:47:13,585 --> 00:47:17,321
beautiful young woman goes
through in the 21st century.
762
00:47:17,354 --> 00:47:19,023
Perhaps you can enlighten me.
763
00:47:20,324 --> 00:47:21,859
Well, I guess you'd have to ask
someone
764
00:47:21,892 --> 00:47:23,927
who was popular and beautiful.
765
00:47:26,196 --> 00:47:28,533
Why are you avoiding this
intimate
766
00:47:28,566 --> 00:47:30,834
mother daughter bonding time?
767
00:47:30,868 --> 00:47:32,069
Why?
768
00:47:32,102 --> 00:47:32,970
Why?
769
00:47:34,305 --> 00:47:35,172
Dammit.
770
00:47:40,878 --> 00:47:42,046
Okay.
771
00:47:42,079 --> 00:47:44,482
If you can't be honest with
me, I'll be honest with you.
772
00:47:45,483 --> 00:47:46,518
You know how I told your father
773
00:47:46,551 --> 00:47:48,252
I got herpes from a yoga mat?
774
00:47:50,287 --> 00:47:51,155
Well, I didn't.
775
00:47:53,525 --> 00:47:55,326
Let's just leave it at that.
776
00:47:55,359 --> 00:47:57,961
Yes, let's please.
777
00:48:02,166 --> 00:48:05,035
♪ I am in love with the
McDonald's girl ♪
778
00:48:05,069 --> 00:48:08,439
Oh, you used to love this
song when you were little.
779
00:48:08,473 --> 00:48:11,442
♪ I am in love with the
McDonald's girl ♪
780
00:48:11,476 --> 00:48:13,043
Come on, you know the words.
781
00:48:13,077 --> 00:48:13,944
No, stop.
782
00:48:13,977 --> 00:48:16,146
♪ She is an angel in the
polyester uni ♪
783
00:48:16,180 --> 00:48:18,483
Come on, sing along.
No, I don't.
784
00:48:21,586 --> 00:48:23,488
Why do you hate me so much?
785
00:48:24,522 --> 00:48:27,191
♪ She's taking orders from the
Saddle River Little League ♪
786
00:48:27,224 --> 00:48:28,526
What did I do?
787
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:32,296
♪ If they knew how much I wanted
her ♪
788
00:48:50,381 --> 00:48:51,248
Katrine!
789
00:48:52,182 --> 00:48:53,417
Katrine!
790
00:48:53,450 --> 00:48:57,154
Oh my god, Katrine what are you
doing?
791
00:48:57,187 --> 00:48:58,989
I got you a Big Gulp.
792
00:49:00,190 --> 00:49:02,527
Why are you doing this to me?
793
00:49:05,095 --> 00:49:07,097
How old is the boy who got you
pregnant?
794
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:09,534
16.
795
00:49:10,300 --> 00:49:14,204
Okay, I'll explain it to you
again.
796
00:49:14,238 --> 00:49:17,941
Emotionally, socially, men
are actually 10 years younger
797
00:49:17,975 --> 00:49:19,143
than their actual age.
798
00:49:19,176 --> 00:49:23,548
So by that rule, a 34 year
old man would actually be 24,
799
00:49:23,581 --> 00:49:28,520
and therefore your current
sex partner is how old?
800
00:49:30,522 --> 00:49:32,156
Six.
801
00:49:32,189 --> 00:49:33,056
See?
802
00:49:34,425 --> 00:49:36,661
Don't you wish we'd had
this conversation sooner?
803
00:49:47,505 --> 00:49:49,306
Welcome.
804
00:49:49,339 --> 00:49:51,609
Okay, I want to start by
everyone giving
805
00:49:51,643 --> 00:49:54,479
a short description, or even
just a word,
806
00:49:54,512 --> 00:49:56,079
of the incident or the moment
807
00:49:56,113 --> 00:49:58,449
where you realized you needed to
get help.
808
00:50:02,286 --> 00:50:06,290
I spent my wife and I's entire
401K
809
00:50:06,323 --> 00:50:10,327
in the VIP room at Mr.
Dandy's, a strip club.
810
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,029
In one weekend.
Mr. Dandy's?
811
00:50:13,096 --> 00:50:13,997
Who'd you see?
812
00:50:14,031 --> 00:50:15,467
Brandy, Veronica?
813
00:50:15,500 --> 00:50:17,134
Let's stay focused, please.
814
00:50:18,503 --> 00:50:23,207
Well at work, I was too
busy pleasuring myself
815
00:50:23,240 --> 00:50:27,745
instead of doing my job, and
people were hurt because of it.
816
00:50:27,779 --> 00:50:29,714
What's your job, Dan?
817
00:50:29,747 --> 00:50:30,981
Was my job.
818
00:50:31,649 --> 00:50:33,417
High speed train conductor.
819
00:50:35,118 --> 00:50:39,724
Four words, talk now to live
girls.
820
00:50:40,390 --> 00:50:43,227
Uh, that's five words but thank
you, Phil.
821
00:50:44,361 --> 00:50:47,632
Foreign objects lost in my
rectum.
822
00:50:47,665 --> 00:50:49,066
Thank you, Wayne.
823
00:50:49,099 --> 00:50:50,668
Had to go to the hospital.
824
00:50:50,702 --> 00:50:51,603
Yes, we see.
825
00:50:54,472 --> 00:50:57,140
I don't think I really belong
here.
826
00:50:57,174 --> 00:50:59,677
Obviously, you're alone in that
opinion.
827
00:50:59,711 --> 00:51:02,212
I've had sex with, like, two
guys.
828
00:51:02,246 --> 00:51:06,416
It's not how you have
sex, it's how sex has you.
829
00:51:07,652 --> 00:51:09,086
Everyone here needs to be honest
830
00:51:09,119 --> 00:51:11,221
with themselves and with each
other.
831
00:51:13,525 --> 00:51:16,794
Okay, I slept with a jerk from
my school
832
00:51:16,828 --> 00:51:19,497
because I was bored.
833
00:51:19,531 --> 00:51:21,666
I got high and I guess
I thought he was funny.
834
00:51:23,768 --> 00:51:25,102
Better, thank you.
835
00:51:28,506 --> 00:51:30,240
Neighbor's Saint Bernard.
836
00:51:49,293 --> 00:51:51,428
Janet, what are you doing?
837
00:51:57,802 --> 00:51:58,770
Watching TV, Dad.
838
00:52:27,164 --> 00:52:29,299
We can't do this, they're
gonna kick us out.
839
00:52:29,333 --> 00:52:32,135
No, it's okay, I have
my cloaking device on.
840
00:52:32,169 --> 00:52:33,504
As long as you're within six
feet of me,
841
00:52:33,538 --> 00:52:34,639
no one can see us.
842
00:52:36,206 --> 00:52:37,842
I'm sorry, this is just weird.
843
00:52:37,875 --> 00:52:39,209
I don't even go to real dances.
844
00:52:39,242 --> 00:52:41,378
That's why it'll be fun.
845
00:52:43,347 --> 00:52:45,617
Miss, can I help you?
846
00:52:45,650 --> 00:52:48,251
Nope, no, just leaving.
847
00:52:55,860 --> 00:52:57,194
You're nuts.
848
00:52:57,227 --> 00:52:59,196
Just keep dancing, nobody'll
notice.
849
00:53:03,635 --> 00:53:07,472
So, what do you dream about?
850
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:10,675
Last night I was riding a giant
spoon
851
00:53:10,708 --> 00:53:14,311
that plunged into a lake of
Mrs. Freshy's cake frosting.
852
00:53:14,344 --> 00:53:16,848
No, like something you want to
happen.
853
00:53:18,281 --> 00:53:19,349
World peace?
854
00:53:19,383 --> 00:53:20,852
Something attainable.
855
00:53:20,885 --> 00:53:21,853
An end forever to the scourge
856
00:53:21,886 --> 00:53:23,488
of the backwards baseball cap.
857
00:53:27,357 --> 00:53:28,493
How about in guys?
858
00:53:29,994 --> 00:53:31,629
What do you like, tall, short?
859
00:53:32,497 --> 00:53:34,264
Brown, yellow, green?
860
00:53:34,297 --> 00:53:35,733
Someone who doesn't annoy me.
861
00:53:38,368 --> 00:53:41,338
They can't use the word gay to
describe something they hate.
862
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:45,409
Someone who's not afraid
to hold my hand in public
863
00:53:45,442 --> 00:53:46,911
even though I have fat fingers,
864
00:53:50,548 --> 00:53:52,382
who looks me in the eyes when I
talk
865
00:53:54,652 --> 00:53:55,687
and smiles when I'm telling a
story,
866
00:53:55,720 --> 00:53:57,922
even though I haven't got
to the funny part yet.
867
00:53:59,256 --> 00:54:00,357
Dumb stuff like that.
868
00:54:05,328 --> 00:54:08,633
And what do you dream about?
869
00:54:09,767 --> 00:54:10,601
You.
870
00:54:18,710 --> 00:54:21,612
Maybe next time we can
do this with my suit off.
871
00:54:21,646 --> 00:54:23,548
I wouldn't want to get you sick.
872
00:54:24,549 --> 00:54:26,416
I think you're worth the risk.
873
00:54:28,986 --> 00:54:31,622
I don't have your phone number.
874
00:54:31,656 --> 00:54:33,991
Why would you assume that
I have a cellular phone?
875
00:54:35,526 --> 00:54:36,928
I mean,
876
00:54:36,961 --> 00:54:40,430
I'm kind of sad I wasn't
born in the time before TVs.
877
00:54:40,465 --> 00:54:41,766
People had to use their
imaginations,
878
00:54:41,799 --> 00:54:44,569
cook, talk to each other, leave
the house.
879
00:54:44,602 --> 00:54:45,636
Just thought I'd ask.
880
00:54:45,670 --> 00:54:46,604
Cell phones are bad for
humanity.
881
00:54:46,637 --> 00:54:47,905
I get it.
882
00:54:47,939 --> 00:54:49,874
I know where you live, though.
883
00:54:49,907 --> 00:54:50,775
Okay.
884
00:54:51,876 --> 00:54:54,045
I guess it's more fun this way.
885
00:54:54,078 --> 00:54:54,946
Sorta.
886
00:55:12,864 --> 00:55:13,931
Katrine, it's Phil.
887
00:55:13,965 --> 00:55:15,398
Are you awake?
888
00:55:16,567 --> 00:55:17,969
And Mike.
889
00:55:19,070 --> 00:55:21,338
We just want to hang out and
talk.
890
00:55:21,371 --> 00:55:22,740
Are you asleep?
891
00:55:22,774 --> 00:55:24,876
We're not gonna touch you.
892
00:55:24,909 --> 00:55:26,644
Unless you really want us to.
893
00:55:26,677 --> 00:55:29,480
Yeah, if you want us to, that's
cool.
894
00:55:29,514 --> 00:55:30,848
I mean, that'd be totally
awesome.
895
00:55:30,882 --> 00:55:33,084
You don't have to make
that decision right now.
896
00:55:33,117 --> 00:55:35,820
Yeah, yeah, just let us come
inside.
897
00:55:52,970 --> 00:55:55,072
Where's the visiting place?
898
00:55:55,106 --> 00:55:56,707
I can't have visitors.
899
00:55:56,741 --> 00:55:57,809
What?
900
00:55:57,842 --> 00:56:00,077
I spent five hours on the bus.
901
00:56:00,111 --> 00:56:02,445
I know, I know, we're in
lockdown.
902
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:03,581
I'm not supposed to have my
phone, either.
903
00:56:03,614 --> 00:56:04,749
They catch me and...
What?
904
00:56:04,782 --> 00:56:05,883
Why?
905
00:56:05,917 --> 00:56:06,884
One of the guys got caught
906
00:56:06,918 --> 00:56:08,119
with a Victoria's Secret catalog
907
00:56:08,152 --> 00:56:11,122
and they have this zero
tolerance porn policy.
908
00:56:11,155 --> 00:56:13,925
So I'm just supposed to go home?
909
00:56:13,958 --> 00:56:16,359
I see you, come to the
window on the right.
910
00:56:18,729 --> 00:56:19,964
Come out.
911
00:56:19,997 --> 00:56:21,866
I can't hear you.
912
00:56:21,899 --> 00:56:22,934
Come out.
913
00:56:22,967 --> 00:56:27,437
We're in lockdown, and
they're tracking my phone.
914
00:56:42,553 --> 00:56:43,888
I've been busy.
915
00:56:52,563 --> 00:56:55,466
I'm on Femtrexl, it
makes it hard to think.
916
00:56:57,969 --> 00:57:00,671
I met a guy, at least I think I
did.
917
00:57:07,578 --> 00:57:08,445
His name's Rian.
918
00:57:09,847 --> 00:57:11,048
He's from the future.
919
00:57:16,153 --> 00:57:17,889
I don't even know if he's real.
920
00:57:28,799 --> 00:57:29,634
Maybe.
921
00:57:32,003 --> 00:57:33,671
Are you?
922
00:57:33,704 --> 00:57:35,873
Katrine Neumann, we know you're
down here.
923
00:57:35,907 --> 00:57:36,741
You have to get me out of here,
924
00:57:36,774 --> 00:57:39,710
it's like prison but with worse
people.
925
00:57:39,744 --> 00:57:40,611
How?
926
00:57:41,379 --> 00:57:43,014
Why aren't you helping me?
Oh my god.
927
00:57:43,047 --> 00:57:46,083
You were supposed to be my
friend, Janet.
928
00:57:46,117 --> 00:57:47,785
Fuck off me!
929
00:57:47,818 --> 00:57:48,953
Kat!
930
00:57:53,090 --> 00:57:53,958
Shit!
931
00:58:03,100 --> 00:58:04,602
Hey, it's Kat.
932
00:58:04,635 --> 00:58:05,536
Leave a message.
933
00:58:18,149 --> 00:58:20,084
If you're calling me,
you're probably someone
934
00:58:20,117 --> 00:58:22,486
who abandoned me and let
me down when I needed you.
935
00:58:22,520 --> 00:58:24,722
Take a good look at
yourself in the mirror.
936
00:58:24,755 --> 00:58:25,856
You know who you are.
937
00:58:25,890 --> 00:58:28,693
Don't leave a message because
I won't call you back.
938
01:00:03,988 --> 01:00:05,222
Sorry to scare you.
939
01:00:05,256 --> 01:00:06,357
I thought it'd be romantic to
just come through the window.
940
01:00:06,390 --> 01:00:09,894
Yeah, kidnappers and rapists,
every girl's favorite.
941
01:00:09,927 --> 01:00:11,262
Can you help me?
942
01:00:11,295 --> 01:00:12,163
Sure.
943
01:00:17,935 --> 01:00:19,603
I missed you, Janet.
944
01:00:19,637 --> 01:00:20,838
I missed you, too.
945
01:00:20,871 --> 01:00:23,240
I think about you all the time.
946
01:00:23,274 --> 01:00:25,076
It's like I'm obsessed with you.
947
01:00:25,109 --> 01:00:26,777
Thanks, I guess.
948
01:00:27,978 --> 01:00:28,846
Me, too.
949
01:00:39,990 --> 01:00:41,025
Are you alone?
950
01:00:41,058 --> 01:00:43,794
My dad's downstairs
listening to books on tape.
951
01:00:43,828 --> 01:00:44,862
He can't hear us.
952
01:00:51,836 --> 01:00:52,970
I've never done this before.
953
01:00:54,205 --> 01:00:56,173
It's okay, if you don't want.
954
01:01:10,354 --> 01:01:12,289
I don't know anything about you.
955
01:01:12,323 --> 01:01:13,891
What else do you need to know?
956
01:01:15,059 --> 01:01:16,427
Are you real?
957
01:01:16,461 --> 01:01:18,028
Reality is anything the majority
958
01:01:18,062 --> 01:01:19,363
of people agree to be true.
959
01:01:20,731 --> 01:01:22,333
Why do you say that?
960
01:01:22,366 --> 01:01:23,801
I only see you when I take my
meds.
961
01:01:23,834 --> 01:01:25,102
You take your meds a lot.
962
01:01:27,805 --> 01:01:28,873
Do you think I'm real?
963
01:01:31,175 --> 01:01:33,177
Well, so do I.
964
01:01:33,210 --> 01:01:35,980
And we're the majority.
965
01:01:37,448 --> 01:01:38,716
Good enough for me.
966
01:01:43,821 --> 01:01:47,658
Do you wanna take off
the, you must be hot.
967
01:01:49,059 --> 01:01:50,394
Sure, yeah.
968
01:01:50,427 --> 01:01:51,295
So far, so good.
969
01:02:17,955 --> 01:02:20,124
This is unexpected, but.
970
01:02:39,477 --> 01:02:40,744
Are you okay?
971
01:02:43,113 --> 01:02:43,981
I'm sorry.
972
01:02:45,883 --> 01:02:46,750
It's fine.
973
01:02:49,887 --> 01:02:51,088
I can't.
974
01:02:51,121 --> 01:02:51,989
I'm sorry.
975
01:02:53,090 --> 01:02:54,391
What can I do?
976
01:02:54,425 --> 01:02:55,993
An hour in de-con.
977
01:03:00,431 --> 01:03:02,766
Is there somewhere we can
go where you'll be okay?
978
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:04,034
I'm sorry.
979
01:03:04,068 --> 01:03:04,935
Rian.
980
01:03:06,303 --> 01:03:08,138
I'll come back for you.
981
01:03:08,172 --> 01:03:10,374
We'll go away, you and I,
982
01:03:11,842 --> 01:03:12,910
where we can be safe.
983
01:03:17,848 --> 01:03:18,516
When?
984
01:03:19,917 --> 01:03:20,784
Soon.
985
01:03:43,874 --> 01:03:47,144
Are these friends of yours, Kat?
986
01:03:47,177 --> 01:03:48,012
Okay.
987
01:03:48,045 --> 01:03:50,981
Have a wonderful rest of your
evening.
988
01:03:56,353 --> 01:03:59,823
Useful phrases while visiting
France.
989
01:04:00,725 --> 01:04:04,928
Nice to meet you, but
can't we just shake hands?
990
01:04:13,437 --> 01:04:16,541
Should I worry about that smell?
991
01:04:22,647 --> 01:04:25,082
My colossal American ass
992
01:04:25,115 --> 01:04:29,019
will not fit in your tiny
European car.
993
01:05:15,633 --> 01:05:17,234
Mom?
994
01:05:17,267 --> 01:05:19,203
What the hell?
995
01:05:19,236 --> 01:05:21,205
Vlad.
996
01:05:21,238 --> 01:05:22,106
He's gone!
997
01:05:23,508 --> 01:05:24,174
Oh, is that all?
998
01:05:24,208 --> 01:05:26,276
Jesus, I thought you were dying.
999
01:05:26,310 --> 01:05:28,513
Everything is gone.
1000
01:05:28,546 --> 01:05:30,214
Everything is gone.
1001
01:05:34,318 --> 01:05:35,185
Get up.
1002
01:05:37,121 --> 01:05:38,355
Come on, get up.
1003
01:05:38,389 --> 01:05:39,256
I can't.
1004
01:05:40,725 --> 01:05:41,593
I can't.
1005
01:05:43,293 --> 01:05:44,562
Come on.
1006
01:05:48,533 --> 01:05:50,100
No, we're done with this now.
1007
01:06:03,414 --> 01:06:06,283
So tell me again, the savings?
1008
01:06:07,251 --> 01:06:08,118
Empty.
1009
01:06:09,153 --> 01:06:10,020
Checking?
1010
01:06:11,088 --> 01:06:13,290
$200.
1011
01:06:13,323 --> 01:06:14,659
Real generous.
1012
01:06:15,627 --> 01:06:17,261
My college fund?
1013
01:06:17,294 --> 01:06:18,162
Gone.
1014
01:06:19,062 --> 01:06:20,498
Poof.
1015
01:06:20,532 --> 01:06:24,334
Credit cards maxed out with cash
advances.
1016
01:06:24,368 --> 01:06:25,969
Okay Mom, we have to find him.
1017
01:06:26,003 --> 01:06:27,037
Where did he go?
1018
01:06:27,070 --> 01:06:29,239
Probably back to Slovakia.
1019
01:06:30,775 --> 01:06:32,342
He could be down the street.
1020
01:06:33,478 --> 01:06:36,481
Vlad was a very mysterious man.
1021
01:06:37,347 --> 01:06:40,250
What did he actually do for a
living?
1022
01:06:40,919 --> 01:06:44,354
Import export and online
financial services.
1023
01:06:45,490 --> 01:06:47,191
What does that even mean?
1024
01:06:47,224 --> 01:06:49,359
Christ, I don't know.
1025
01:06:49,393 --> 01:06:53,765
You, as a recovering sex addict
should know that sometimes
1026
01:06:53,798 --> 01:06:59,002
love and desire takes you
to very dangerous places.
1027
01:07:01,238 --> 01:07:05,309
I went there with your father
and I went there with Vlad,
1028
01:07:05,342 --> 01:07:08,245
and now this is my punishment.
1029
01:07:16,253 --> 01:07:19,056
Katrine, I know you think
I've failed you as a mother,
1030
01:07:19,990 --> 01:07:23,293
but I would appreciate
if you could at least try
1031
01:07:23,327 --> 01:07:26,263
to be a little bit supportive
in my time of crisis.
1032
01:07:26,296 --> 01:07:28,999
Okay, okay, Mom, don't bug out.
1033
01:07:29,701 --> 01:07:31,268
Someday you'll understand.
1034
01:07:32,436 --> 01:07:33,805
Dating when you're middle-aged
1035
01:07:33,838 --> 01:07:35,773
is like shopping at a used car
lot.
1036
01:07:36,574 --> 01:07:38,776
Choose the best you can but just
remember
1037
01:07:38,810 --> 01:07:41,479
that there's something
wrong with all of them.
1038
01:07:44,248 --> 01:07:46,049
Come on, give me a hug.
1039
01:07:46,751 --> 01:07:49,152
Don't you think I deserve
at least that much?
1040
01:08:48,913 --> 01:08:49,781
Rian,
1041
01:08:50,748 --> 01:08:52,082
where are you?
1042
01:09:12,937 --> 01:09:13,805
Rian?
1043
01:09:42,967 --> 01:09:44,636
Sweetheart?
1044
01:09:46,504 --> 01:09:47,437
Sweetheart?
1045
01:09:48,973 --> 01:09:50,875
Are you sick, pumpkin?
1046
01:09:50,908 --> 01:09:53,310
What's happening?
1047
01:09:53,343 --> 01:09:55,780
Been trying to wake you all
morning.
1048
01:09:55,813 --> 01:09:58,348
Did you stay up late on
the computer last night?
1049
01:10:01,753 --> 01:10:04,354
I have a letter from the
University.
1050
01:10:14,866 --> 01:10:15,733
I got in.
1051
01:10:16,601 --> 01:10:19,704
Well look at that, miss smarty
pants.
1052
01:10:22,473 --> 01:10:24,609
Now we just have to figure
out how to pay for it.
1053
01:10:30,447 --> 01:10:34,184
Well, I'll leave you alone
so you can call your friends.
1054
01:10:49,801 --> 01:10:51,002
We're sorry,
1055
01:10:51,035 --> 01:10:53,270
the number you have dialed is
not in service at this time.
1056
01:10:53,303 --> 01:10:54,371
Goddammit.
1057
01:11:18,896 --> 01:11:23,901
♪ Sunlight say grace to the
cold stone I'm waiting ♪
1058
01:11:27,972 --> 01:11:32,977
♪ For that firelight god
to lift his darkened eyes ♪
1059
01:11:34,812 --> 01:11:35,680
Rian?
1060
01:11:36,848 --> 01:11:37,715
Rian!
1061
01:11:38,381 --> 01:11:43,020
♪ And don't fear the skies
they know no need for reason ♪
1062
01:11:43,054 --> 01:11:44,287
Rian.
1063
01:11:44,321 --> 01:11:44,989
Rian, wait!
1064
01:11:47,725 --> 01:11:52,730
♪ The stars can't keep that
shiny dancing charade ♪
1065
01:11:53,931 --> 01:11:54,799
Goodbye.
1066
01:11:58,002 --> 01:12:02,339
♪ But oh, to feel your eyes on
me ♪
1067
01:12:07,111 --> 01:12:07,979
I love you.
1068
01:12:08,012 --> 01:12:12,315
♪ To want nothing, and
everything ♪
1069
01:12:32,036 --> 01:12:33,070
Hey, miss.
1070
01:12:36,140 --> 01:12:38,509
Stop.
1071
01:12:38,543 --> 01:12:41,612
Miss!
1072
01:12:41,646 --> 01:12:42,513
Please.
1073
01:12:44,882 --> 01:12:48,486
♪ Mo me mi mo mu ♪
1074
01:12:48,519 --> 01:12:50,521
♪ Hm ♪
1075
01:12:50,555 --> 01:12:53,958
♪ Mo me mi mo mu ♪
1076
01:12:53,991 --> 01:12:54,826
♪ Hm ♪
1077
01:12:54,859 --> 01:12:57,895
♪ Mo me mi mo mu ♪
1078
01:12:57,929 --> 01:12:58,796
♪ Hm ♪
1079
01:12:58,830 --> 01:13:02,133
♪ Mo me mi mo mu ♪
1080
01:13:02,166 --> 01:13:03,000
♪ Hm ♪
1081
01:13:03,034 --> 01:13:06,436
♪ Mo me mi mo mu ♪
1082
01:13:06,470 --> 01:13:09,073
♪ Hm ♪
1083
01:13:50,548 --> 01:13:51,816
Hey.
1084
01:13:51,849 --> 01:13:52,850
Hey.
1085
01:13:58,856 --> 01:14:00,791
I got into Northmore.
1086
01:14:01,759 --> 01:14:02,793
That's great.
1087
01:14:04,562 --> 01:14:05,463
Did you hear?
1088
01:14:06,464 --> 01:14:08,165
Yeah, Farnham turned me down.
1089
01:14:09,233 --> 01:14:10,201
I can't afford to go anyway,
1090
01:14:10,234 --> 01:14:15,473
so I'm just gonna work
and reapply next year.
1091
01:14:20,978 --> 01:14:24,015
Pretty embarrassing, huh?
1092
01:14:24,048 --> 01:14:26,050
I should've just changed in the
car.
1093
01:14:28,653 --> 01:14:31,055
I'm sorry I didn't write
while you were away.
1094
01:14:31,923 --> 01:14:34,592
I thought you had lots
of other cooler friends.
1095
01:14:35,793 --> 01:14:37,427
Friends, yeah, no.
1096
01:14:41,032 --> 01:14:41,899
Sorry.
1097
01:14:44,669 --> 01:14:47,772
I probably wasn't exactly the
best friend to you, either.
1098
01:14:50,241 --> 01:14:51,108
We're lame.
1099
01:14:52,510 --> 01:14:54,812
Yeah, yeah we are.
1100
01:15:01,118 --> 01:15:02,119
Rian was real.
1101
01:15:05,056 --> 01:15:09,026
I thought I was losing
it, but he was real.
1102
01:15:11,295 --> 01:15:12,196
He's gone, though.
1103
01:15:14,031 --> 01:15:18,469
Yay and boo, I guess.
1104
01:15:21,072 --> 01:15:23,574
I guess I should go.
1105
01:15:27,178 --> 01:15:28,212
Bye, feel better.
1106
01:15:54,572 --> 01:15:55,706
Are you insane?
1107
01:15:57,041 --> 01:15:58,242
Come out, whore.
1108
01:15:58,275 --> 01:16:01,846
♪ I'm just a-sittin' with the
bad kitty ♪
1109
01:16:01,879 --> 01:16:04,015
♪ Just while it's in the mood ♪
1110
01:16:04,048 --> 01:16:05,683
This is weird.
1111
01:16:05,716 --> 01:16:07,718
Think of it as prom that smells
funny.
1112
01:16:08,619 --> 01:16:09,687
I look ridiculous.
1113
01:16:10,354 --> 01:16:12,256
Cataracts will help with that, I
think.
1114
01:16:12,289 --> 01:16:15,259
There's so many old people
here, the average age is dead.
1115
01:16:16,660 --> 01:16:17,528
Ladies.
1116
01:16:26,103 --> 01:16:27,772
Suck it, bitch.
1117
01:16:28,939 --> 01:16:31,042
♪ And I wanna kiss you too ♪
1118
01:16:31,075 --> 01:16:32,977
So it's your birthday, huh?
1119
01:16:33,010 --> 01:16:34,678
Yes, ma'am.
1120
01:16:34,712 --> 01:16:37,915
I am 92 years old.
1121
01:16:37,948 --> 01:16:39,316
92?
1122
01:16:39,350 --> 01:16:40,684
You rock, dude.
1123
01:16:40,718 --> 01:16:41,786
Happy birthday.
1124
01:16:43,621 --> 01:16:46,023
So I hear there's a lot of
action going on in these places,
1125
01:16:46,057 --> 01:16:48,059
everyone being single and all.
1126
01:16:48,092 --> 01:16:50,194
You're not gonna give me an STD,
are you?
1127
01:16:50,227 --> 01:16:51,295
Oh, I'm 92.
1128
01:16:53,197 --> 01:16:55,232
Leave room for Jesus there, hot
pants.
1129
01:16:55,266 --> 01:16:56,734
Uh, jealous much?
1130
01:18:05,260 --> 01:18:10,260
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
77449
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
