Original subtitles

I've never seen someone actually become a

party monster in front of my eyes.

Ok, c'mon.

You were like, in the dictionary it would be your

face next to party monster and mess.

Ok, ok.

I mean it was pretty bad Josh,

I'd never seen someone pull out their dick at a party before.

You're like slapping it from cheek to cheek. like Kids.

Oh right, it was not hard.

Well it wasn't hard, but it was certainly long and

noticeable... you're a dick.

Good times.

Nah, I was rock bottom;

I was terrible.

It was college.

Yeah, it was like seriously like the worst

night, not even joking.

Get that smile off your face, you disgust me.

Ok man.

Nice house.

I know, right?

Yeah, how'd you get this?

It's my boss's place he let's me stay here

from time to time.

Yeah?

Your boss, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah... he's just letting you stay here?

It's my job Michael.

Yeah?

For free?

Do you mind getting the first leg in the morning?

What, I mean, is that drive?

Have you forgotten the English language?

Ok, last I checked leg and drive were not

synonymous with each other.

No, I mean like, I mostly remember everything from the

English language, but you know if you don't use it you lose

it, so I've forgotten a lot of vocabulary.

I teach baby English all day.

I'm mostly, mostly, mostly mostly good up to five years

ago though, colloquially speaking.

Ok... so you'll drive.

Hmm, um, yeah, hmm, hmm,

I got a tattoo.

You did?

I got a tattoo.

I did.

Where?

Guess.

It's the most typical spot a white person like

me would get a tattoo.

On your butt.

What, uh, no, I uh no,

here, here weirdo.

Here, look at that.

It's a, there it is.

Wow.

Yeah.

Do you know what it means?

No idea.

Yeah, can't read Japanese.

It means like laughter or smile.

In Japanese we say waro.

Waro.

Waro, yeah that wasn't bad.

I get sick of those guys that get kangi all over their

bodies and they can't even read it.

Yeah.

Yeah, I can read it.

Touch it, you can touch it if you want...

It's bumpy right.

It is bumpy.

Yeah.

It's real, it's real.

It's supposed to be bumpy.

Hmm.

Do you have any?

No, I'm, I'm open to it, I just,

I haven't felt that strongly about anything yet I guess.

Hmm, um, yeah, hmm, yeah about driving like um.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, no, I, I can't,

it's not gonna happen.

What do you mean you can't,

you, you said you would help drive.

When we talked before I,

I assumed that I already had auto insurance, but I don't.

Michael, why didn't you just fly to Chicago?

You're not in Chicago, you're in LA.

Yeah, but the drive is really long Michael.

It is, it is.

This, this whole reunion was your idea.

You want to go, like you want to catch up.

I... what if we didn't go?

No.

Think about it.

Um, ok first of all, who's gonna pay for my ticket

to Chicago, cause I gotta go straight from there to Japan.

Ah.

Second of all, I already made plans.

Along where?

Uh, so if this is Los Angeles and this is chitown.

Uh huh.

Instead of doing the straight line we'd be doing a

happy little horse shoe.

See that happy face?

That's you and me, happy face.

josh: Ok, what are we going to do?

Who are we going to do?

Ok, who are we seeing?

Oh, the person we are seeing is

very excited to see us.

Um, with their significant other,

we haven't met them yet.

And, I don't know we have a dinner set up,

it's gonna be great.

I don't know.

I will pay for the detour gas.

Oh, you'll pay for the detour gas.

I will pay for the detour,

I will pay for all of the gas if you just shut

the fuck up for a little bit.

I'm not going.

No, you are going.

No.

No, you always do this shit,

I hate it ok.

You're going, we are gonna go together.

Eh, eh, eh.

Eric is working on a second degree.

Yeah he's studying business, so good luck with that.

Oh, he's gonna burn that down.

Uh, how bout Ameila?

She's still in Italy.

Lisa.

She's um, I think she's good,

I know she got married.

I didn't make it to the wedding,

but I got invited.

My God, I'd love to see Lisa again, wouldn't you?

Yeah.

It's weird, like, I thought

everything would be the same.

It's like when you're having a conversation and then

you go inside of a store, and the conversation

you had outside like stops.

And then you go outside again and the conversation resumes.

Like, do you know what I'm talking about?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like a time capsule.

Yeah, yeah, like a, like a perfectly

preserved time capsule.

Hmm-mm.

Like, like us.

Wonder what this reunion is really gonna be like.

I don't know.

Are you seeing anyone?

I am seeing a few people, yeah.

Anything serious?

Well their not in the car with us now are they?

I forget that at most reunions,

like people bring their significant others.

Eh, eh, eh.

Right.

So what about you?

Oh, you know, like I'm always looking for something.

Do you like Las Vegas?

I do like Las Vegas.

Do you like Las Vegas?

There's shit stains all over the bed.

Ugh.

Ugh.

Josh and Aaargghhh.

Josh, it's like 7:00 p. m. It's like 6:30,

it's like 6. It's like 5, wake up.

Josh, Josh wake up.

We just got here.

You will wake up mister.

You will wake up.

I see my dick in the mirror Josh, I see it.

Swingin.

Uh, Josh, somebody stole my pants.

What are we gonna do about this?

Eh?

What are we going to do about this?

Did you take my pants?

Josh, somebody stole my pants, what

are we gonna do about this?

Hey, you have my fuckin pants don't you.

Where the fuck are my pants Josh?

C'mon, Josh.

Um, what would you seriously do if somebody came right into

this room right now and took those right off of you and

chucked them out the window.

Or ate them.

What if they, they took the pants and then

physically like ate them.

What would you seriously do?

You're getting hard.

Josh, wake up.

It's check-out time.

Wake up.

I feel like shit.

Yep.

Need some air man, pull over.

Nah.

Ok.

Uh, um.

Alright, let's play a game.

No.

Josh, like it's gonna pass the time

a lot better than this.

Questions only, you may not use sentences, go.

Why are you so peppy?

Wasn't last night fun?

Isn't it kinda frustrating that you can't drive?

Do you want me to drive for awhile?

You don't have insurance.

Was that a question?

You know Michael, I'm driving on your itinerary and

I don't understand why we're not just going straight to Chicago.

Alright, well.

I'd rather Josh was into the element of surprise.

But I could tell you we're gonna stop in Missouri.

Does that help you?

Does that make you more relaxed?

We're gonna see your brother?

Yeah, that's not that far out of the way.

Ok, you know it's fine, it's cool to see them,

I don't mind its just it's annoying when

you keep secrets that's all.

What?

Remind me again about that DUl you had.

That's a completely different situation.

No, no, who was in the car with you?

You were.

And who forget to tell me that they had been drinking.

Me.

I made sure your car wasn't impounded.

I drove it home, I parked it.

You bailed me out.

I bailed you out.

Thank God I got the money back.

Had to drive all the way to downtown Chicago

to pull you out of that tank.

Ok, you were a big help.

Yeah, I was a big help that night.

If you hadn't been so Goddamn secretive

like I would have driven.

Jeez Josh like you need to relax a little bit more.

Like I think I'm entitled to some secrets,

they're positive ones, like it's not like I'm withholding

the fact that I was drinking.

I just want to take you a few surprise places,

what's wrong with that.

Nothing.

You're probably right.

I know I'm right.

Of course I'm right.

I'm always right.

I mean I'm basically guiding you towards a better version

of the time than you would be having if you'd stayed at home.

Yeah, at home I'd probably just be watching TV.

No, no you'd be masturbating to soap operas.

Ok, I think I'd be watching something a little

classier than a soap opera.

Oh, like you'd be jerking off to Europa, Europa.

Cabaret.

Ooh, who would you rather fuck Liza Minelli or

Gene Kelly, like in their hey day.

Which films?

Well Cabaret and like Singing in the Rain.

Gene, by a mile.

No, Liza you fool.

Liza.

Prince or the artist formerly known as Prince.

Still Prince.

Yeah, I think Prince would be good.

No, the Artist formerly known as.

Seriously can we pull over.

Thanks.

I'm glad we're doing this.

You feeling ok?

Yeah.

Work.

Michael, Mike, Michael, Michael,

what are you doing with my phone?

Who's this dude?

It's my boss.

Anyway, will you sit on my back?

Alright, for like a minute.

Ok please it just really hurts.

Further up on my back.

Further, further up.

Like more towards the middle of my back.

A little further.

That's good, that's better.

Can you do like a back and forth motion?

No, the other, like towards my head.

Up and down.

Yeah, like that.

Yes.

Your minute is almost up.

Oh, that feels good.

Yep, that's a minute.

I felt old for the first time this week.

What did you like come a puff of smoke

when you were jerking off.

Yeah, yeah that's exactly what happened.

That's why your face is so ashy.

No, my uh, my colleague's son came to work who's 17.

And he told me all about his Mom,

my colleague's wife, how she grows weed.

Do you smoke pot?

No.

I could smoke right now.

Anyway, he's uh you know,

he's telling me about his Mom and showing me his profile

that has all of her stuff.

Online?

Yeah, exactly.

It feels like he's trying to sell me this weed.

And it's awkward, you know it's my colleague's son,

so I'm doing anything to change the subject.

So I talk to him, I'm like hey,

you know it must be really tough being a teenager these days.

You know with all the social media and these teachers are

patrolling your twitter accounts.

The gossip in the hallways with all the students,

you know what I mean.

I'm going on and on for like a minute or so and

he is just staring at me.

Show me the look.

It's like um.

Yeah, I know that look.

You know what I mean.

It's the look that every teenager has when their stuck

in a conversation with a grandfather.

Completely different generations.

Yeah, we're in that category of people.

Yeah.

Exactly.

We can't go to the 20 year old parties anymore.

No, we'd be the creepy guys in the corner.

Like with the red cups.

Everyone says like what are they doing here?

Who's Dad is that?

At least we'd have each other.

Yeah.

Michael:.

Michael:.

You could sing a song,

I don't give a fuck.

Why don't you sing something

that we could all sing?

What the hell are you singing?

Fuji mountain what?

When I become a first grader I want to go to the top

of Mount Fuji and eat onagiri with 100 of my friends.

Do you know how to turn on the.

What, ah the defrost.

It's getting fogged, yes.

Yeah, yes, it's fine.

Is that it?

I can't tell yet.

I think it's helping.

You're welcome.

Can I sing again?

Do you want to learn how to sing it?

Ok, I will learn how to sing it.

Michael and Josh:

Michael and Josh:

See we're parting the clouds.

Michael and Josh:

I'm hungry.

Have you ever done, like um,

have you ever done role-playing?

You mean cos-play?

Yeah, I was trying to say the English word for it.

Like in Japanese costume play is cos-play.

Yeah cos-play, I'm familiar with the term.

But, no.

Yeah, yeah.

You?

Yeah, like a few times.

Like um, I don't know, ever hear people say Japan

is into some freaky sex shit.

Right?

I think they're actually one of the healthier countries

when it comes to sex.

I heard the husbands and wives

don't even fuck each other.

Hmm, like a lot of the time they don't.

Probably why the sex industry is so popular there.

They don't have time for it.

They work 10 hours a day, 14 hours a day.

Sometimes they don't even live at home.

Like, so the wife will get a mistress and then the

husband will go to a sex establishment and pick out

a girl or boy of his choosing.

Prostitution.

Well, yeah.

Like kind of.

Like it's not technically prostitution so as long as you

don't do penis vagina sex.

Like you can't do coitus.

That's all you can't do?

That's all you can't do really,

like you can do titty fuck, you can do rape fantasies,

you can do anal, like pretty much anything you can think of

goes as long as the boy or girl giving it to you is

comfortable with the service that you want.

And you've done this.

Yeah.

Can you tell me about it?

No, you're gonna tell all your friends about it,

I don't have any friends.

You have that 17 year-old, that pothead right?

Come on.

He's gonna be stoned, you're gonna go up to him,

you're gonna tell him about it,

he's gonna put it all over the internet.

All over the social media sites.

Alright, yeah, like um, nurse, a cat, fairy.

Wait, you've dressed as a nurse?

Do I look like I would dress like a nurse?

Do I really look like the sub type?

You could be a dom nurse.

You're a sub.

You're totally the sub type.

What are you talking about?

You take it.

Like you think you're a dom, but you're a sub.

I'm dom, wait did I say sub or dom.

You're sub I'm dom, I'm dom all the way.

Dom gives, sub takes.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You think you're a dom,

but you're totally the nurse type.

Would you ever put foreskin in your nose?

What?

I saw this porn this one time,

it was the first gay porn I ever saw.

Like I was at a friend's house and he said,

hey check out this gay porn.

I'm like what's this and he's like it's fireman porn.

And there's a lot of guys in fire hats and their

sitting around and this man says to other guy like put

my foreskin in your nose.

Do you still have that?

It's not mine, it's not mine,

I just watched it.

It blew my mind.

I had to stop it, rewind like 15 times,

I couldn't believe it.

Shocking.

You sure you know where you're going?

No, I've never been here before.

Just uh, straight now, I'm sorry,

like it's, it's confusing.

It is confusing.

Yeah, you alright.

That's the playground, that's it, right?

That's the playground right there.

Ok.

Yeah.

It looks like the other playground we saw.

You know if I dropped a child off at one of those

playgrounds, I would never come back to the correct one

to pick them up.

They'd be lost, they'd be gone forever.

I'd be a terrible parent.

Um, so it looks like, it looks like it dead ends but go.

Straight?

Yeah, straight.

Go straight.

You're gonna be so happy in a minute.

You're gonna be incredibly happy.

I promise.

Ok.

Pull in right behind there.

Go, go ahead.

You can cul de sac it.

Ok.

What you're not excited?

What are we doing here?

It's Lisa's house.

Duh.

C'mon.

No way.

Yeah.

You never check your email or anything?

Just give me a minute, ok?

Well, you can wait in the car,

I'm gonna go inside.

Yeah, toodles.

Hey.

Lisa: Hey guys.

Nice to meet ya.

Dominic: Likewise.

No, but that must be the reason why you're

not going to the reunion.

Lisa: Yeah, I mean I don't know how much fun it

would be being pregnant.

I can't drink anything.

It'd be great, it'd be great,

you could just sit in the back seat and drink water.

Come and join us.

I bet, I bet, I bet he drinks.

He looks like a drinker, right?

Lisa: Oh yeah.

Yeah?

Lisa: Yeah.

Yeah.

The three of us did our share.

Back in the college days.

Oh yeah, like what was it,

like Lake Michigan?

Yeah, we'd be out there waiting for the sunrise.

Yeah, yeah.

Wow.

I think that was the first time did like um,

like Peote?

Mushrooms?

With you guys.

Lisa: Yeah.

Yeah, who'd want to forget that night.

It was a fun night.

Yeah, I mean it was, it was a really fun night,

it was a great night.

I think that was, it was my first, probably

not your first, definitely not your first three way.

Ok Michael.

Yeah, I mean it was funny,

it was so funny cause Josh is laughing and he's he's so

sloppy, going back and forth trying to get it in right?

And he's just like, he's just getting like soft, right?

And it's, it's, it's incredibly difficult cause

you're probably too, you're too small.

Lisa: Keep it down.

Ok, you were, you're too small.

Or maybe we're too big right?

Maybe I'm too big, he's too big,

you're a little too small and we just can't get it in.

But, lo and behold there is the other hole.

Camera one, camera two, option one, option two.

Hole number one, hole number two,

why not go for everything while we're at it.

And I wanted to do the fucking Eiffel Tower.

I wanted to the Eiffel Tower so I'm in the front side and Josh

is in the back side and we're gonna do the high five on top.

It's like, no, I'm sorry, we didn't do that,

no offense, it was, it was college.

Everybody was doing that in college.

Yeah, well honestly um, I, sh, pipe it down, sh, sup?

Honestly Dominic, she is the most amazing,

sweetest, straightest lady I've ever met.

It's so nice to meet you and it's so nice to see this,

it's amazing and you have done such an amazing job,

both of you have done such an amazing job with everything

you want to do with your life, you've set out a goal

and you accomplished it.

You're aiming for something and you have it,

and I wish I had what, and you're amazing, you're great.

Lisa: Thank you.

you're great.

Lisa: Thank you.

Yeah, you're, I'm proud of you.

I'm so proud.

You're proud, you're, we're all proud.

We're fucking proud.

You got a pool?

You were quite the asshole tonight.

It's dangerous to swim alone.

I'm not swimming.

You're drunk.

I'm not even drunk asshole.

Is this a game to you?

No, no I just, I overestimate what

I can say in America.

Michael, she's six months pregnant.

Next to her husband, this, this whole thing was your idea.

I'm sorry.

Josh, don't you want to go back?

Stop.

I had too much to drink.

Wow, this is awesome.

I guess.

Do you even think it's worth going?

Like really?

What do you mean worth going?

I don't know, interacting with everyone?

Like, catching up?

You could have just looked up everybody online.

Yeah, I would but they don't,

they don't respond to my messages so, it's not working.

Whose fault is that?

You dropped off, like you just stopped talking to everybody.

Really?

You left Michael.

Really?

Some people might say that's fucked up.

Some people, huh?

Do you even know how last night was so wrong?

Like it's been 10 years Michael.

Things are different.

No, God.

People have changed.

Josh.

Not everyone wants to go back to your bullshit world.

I don't recall a whole hell a lot of maturity

from you last night?

What happened last night?

Let's go.

Hey, hey, hey, let's do rock, paper, scissors.

Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Just one time.

K?

Ready?

Josh and Michael: Rock, paper, scissors, go.

What is that?

It's part of the game.

You'll learn in a minute.

Ok.

Let's continue.

Josh and Michael: Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Oh, ok, now see I've got no hands,

I'm gonna call it out ok?

Ok.

Josh and Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Paper.

Paper, bulldog.

Ok, what?

It's bulldog.

It's a Japanese game.

It's fun.

You're really good at it.

I know, I know every kid always does like rock like

for the first three times.

I win every argument.

Oh, that's what every kid does?

That's what you do.

Let's go again.

Ok, ready?

Josh and Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Got you.

Ow.

Yeah, right?

Did it hurt, did it hurt when I did it to you?

Yes it did.

Ok.

Josh and Michael: Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Take it off, take it off.

So if I win and you have something on my hand,

then you gotta, on my face, you gotta take it off.

Ok.

Let's go.

Josh and Michael: Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Got you.

Josh and Michael: Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Got you.

Josh and Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Rock.

Bull dog.

Yes, whoo.

You don't gotta be a dick about it.

Ok.

Two out of three?

Two out of three.

Josh and Michael: Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Got you.

Fuck.

Josh and Michael: Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Take it off.

Take it off.

Josh and Michael: Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Got you.

Josh and Michael: Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Got you.

Josh and Michael: Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Go.

You gotta call it.

Ok, I'll do it, my fault, my fault.

You have to call it.

Josh and Michael: Rock, paper, scissors, go.

Rock.

Bulldog, whoo.

You don't gotta rub it in my face.

I was gonna win the next one.

That is a fun game.

Yeah, I have a serious question for us.

For us?

Yeah, for us.

Like serious question you have to answer truthfully.

Ok.

No, seriously, like no,

no hocus pocus answers, like serious,

what would seriously do.

Ok.

Ok.

Ok great.

See that opening up there?

What would we seriously do if some ghost straight up just

flies from there, starts floating over to us.

You know we're getting scared, petrified,

like it's a fucking ghost, they're real.

Who knew?

But he has a knife.

He has a big, shanky long ghost knife, ok?

Hmm. mm.

And he flies over here and puts it up to our

throats and says, me and my little ghost buddies are going

to kill the two of you, in five minutes.

But, being as it is that we believe in a fair fight, we're

gonna give you like five minutes to get your shit together.

Grab some weapons, prepare yourself.

Don't bother running to your car cause the car is gone.

Hmm. mm.

The ghosts stole that.

The ghosts stole the car Josh.

So what would we seriously do?

We have five Minutes to prepare.

What would I do?

No, what would we do?

Let's work this out together.

Like first things first.

We need a weapon.

Ok.

We'd need a weapon.

We'd have to find weapons;

I'll go find weapons.

Ok, good, where are you gonna find the weapons?

Um, down there.

Down there?

Ok.

I'll go down there, yep.

That's good, that's good.

In the shrubbery.

That's good, what kind of weapon

are you gonna look for?

I'm gonna get a long stick that I can swing.

Ok, ok, good, we only got like four

minutes now by the way.

Ok, ok, good, we onOk good, so. four

Ok, for you I'd get like something

small like a sharp rock.

Yeah, yeah something sharp.

You're fast.

I could like shank, shank, shank, shank, shank.

Yeah.

Really fast.

Wipe em all out, really good.

Yeah, ok, so I'm over there looking for weapons.

Mchael: Ok good, you're over there.

What are you doing?

I don't know, um, that looks like the cave from

like 300, what's the, what was the battle in that movie?

The battle in 300?

The battle of Mopoly.

Ok.

It's like a muppet word, Mopoly.

Ok, I know we got like three minutes.

Ok.

Ok, so, I'm gonna gather rocks to, in that cave.

Gather the rocks to the cave so that whenever they go into

the cave, we can be on the other side bashing ghosts'

heads, poof, poof, poof.

Ok, that sounds good.

Ok, good, we've got like two minutes left.

Good, did you find a weapon yet?

Yes, I'm over here and I found the weapons.

Ok, I can't really hear you cause I'm over here

and you're over there.

I found the weapons.

I've got a stick and a rock.

Ok, that's perfect.

I've got some rocks and rocks and rocks.

Ok, so you're, I'm getting the weapons you're

making the barricades.

Yeah, and there's like one minute left.

They're coming at, they're coming at us.

Wait, wait, wait, I think they're still waiting

they're like marching in place,

they're getting antsy, they're getting excited.

Yes, we need to charge them.

Josh and Aarrrgh!.

We're charging.

We're charging, ok, and I've got a rock.

Yes.

They're,.

Poof.

Good.

One's gone.

That's one gone.

There's like fourteen left.

And I've got my stick.

One.

Josh and Two.

Three gone.

Three gone, so that's four down, eleven to go.

Four down.

Ok.

So.

They're coming quicker.

So we've gotta retreat into the cave,

go inside the cave, go inside the cave.

They're swarming, they're swarming us.

Swarming, swarmng left and right,

but as they're coming in, we're knocking those ghosts.

Another one down, another one.

Bam, bam, bam, fuck.

Another three gone.

Yeah, but it's not gonna help you know why?

Why?

Behind us, we didn't even inspect the cave,

there's like a hundred ghosts on the inside.

Oh, great.

Yeah, fucking surrounded.

The alpha steps up, the alpha ghost and he's like,

you have a choice.

You fought very well young warriors.

Ah, yes, he's giving us a choice.

Alright, a choice.

One of you will live, one of you must die.

Yeah, yeah.

So obviously I put my hand up.

I stand up, ok..

I put my hand forward.

I would step up.

It's gotta be me.

Why would you step up?

I like ghosts, I'd be comfortable

being killed by a ghost.

You have so much potential Michael.

Yeah, but I'm just wasting it all on this thing

that you call life, so me, it's gotta be me.

Me ghosts, it's me.

You know, while we're arguing about this?

Yeah.

They just get really sick of it and

they're gonna shank twice.

They're gonna shank at us two times.

Oh, no.

Just kill both of us.

But, after they shank me, I fucking jump in front of you,

and then I take your knife.

Wait a minute.

I take your shank.

You've already been shanked,

how can you jump in front of me?

Well, it's like muscle memory.

You would still jump after being shanked?

Yeah, even shanked in the head doesn't matter how

I'm shanked, I'd jump in front, take a shank for you.

Like dead or alive, I, I, I would take a shanking for you.

Look at that.

Then the ghosts are happy, they go away,

you're alone, you don't know how to get outta here.

That's kinda sweet.

Look away, look away.

Look away sir.

You cheeseball.

So what do you want to do tonight?

Hmm.

let's stay in.

I'm gonna grab some ice.

I was always so intrigued by you.

Always wanting to be near you, just to be around you.

It was hard to explain at the time, I guess it still is.

When we graduated and you left,

I felt pretty bad about that.

I just, I thought we had this connection.

It's something that I hadn't felt with anybody before,

I haven't felt it since.

I've seen people since college,

you know, just haven't let them fully in,

I haven't let them know the real me,

I guess.

I don't think I've ever, I know I've never been in love.

Don't freak out or anything ok,

I just, when I think about it, I think about you,

I think about what we had.

I missed you.

I basically resigned to the fact that I'm not gonna be as

happy as most of my friends, all of my siblings,

I just don't see how it's possible.

I have this recurring dream of mine,

where I'm living more openly you know, it feels better.

It feels like this amazing place actually.

And then I wake up.

I don't think I've ever been happier than I am right now.

Do you remember, how you were ten years ago?

You were a beast.

You were unmanageable.

You're so strong now.

And you're stoic, and you're relatively relaxed,

I mean I know there's a monster inside of you that

likes to get out, but for the most part,

you've like leveled out.

Yeah.

Yeah, I couldn't do that.

The way you've got it together, I, I can't.

I wish I could, I wish I could be like that,

I wish I could do what you're doing, but.

Good for you.

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

This is better, you have to know that.

It's cold.

I know.

Don't want to live down here.

No, that would suck.

Yeah.

You know, that took more than

a thousand years to grow.

I know, it's crazy.

Yeah.

If it took you a thousand years to become something,

what would you become?

I don't know, what about you?

Not this.

Oh my God, can you imagine, it's like a

children's nightmare in here.

I think if I became anything, I don't know I think if it

took me a thousand years to become something,

I think I'd be as I am now.

You know, like, comfortable, where I belong,

in this cave, not the cave but in this cave,

with you here now.

What are you trying to say Michael?

Hey Josh, um, like when we go to my

brother's house, we can't go telling like college sex

stories and stuff like that.

I'll try my best.

No, but I mean it seriously.

You can't, if you do, I'm not gonna sleep with you anymore.

Joe: Well, you look good, a little skinny but.

Look at you, you meat head.

I bet you bench your kids.

Joe: All I have time for is push ups with the kids.

That's all I have time for.

Oh yeah, do they do push ups?

Joe: Well, she's two, so she rolls back and forth kinda.

Yeah, yeah.

Joe: What do you think about your niece and nephew?

Yeah.

Joe: They haven't seen you in awhile.

I don't think they recognize me.

Joe: Well you're so skinny.

Do you think they'd be better off

in America or in Japan?

Joe: No strong opinions, I mean we're getting back to

Japan regularly enough.

Yeah, but speaking of Japan, what do you think about Sally?

Going to Japan?

She's not coming, she's not coming.

Joe: She might man.

No she's not.

Joe: It could be messy.

Who's Sally?

Joe: Sally is our cousin.

She's our cousin, yeah.

Joe: Going to Japan.

Petulant.

Joe: It's not going to mix very well.

She's a beast, she's a beast,

she'd be the worst part about Japan if I was in Japan.

Doesn't matter what season she goes,

she'd find a reason to complain, right?

Joe: Well, unless it was like Spring.

Oh, haname.

Joe: Haname.

Yeah.

What's han, han, haname?

Joe: Haname is springtime, the trees bloom,

Yeah.

Joe: cherry blossoms turn white,

it's picnics, it's drinking,.

Yeah drinking.

Joe: It's women.

Like women.

Joe: Gorgeous.

Like geishas everywhere,

left and right, I mean not really,

not really, not really, no, we should just show him a picture.

Joe: Oh yeah, show him a picture.

Yeah, yeah, you're right,

It's better than like hearing us talk about it.

Joe: Great.

Great.

Haname.

Joe: Oh, who's this, I'll take that, Yoko.

Yoko.

Joe, no.

Joe: I got it, I got it, hang on I can still read.

I don't like when you do that Joe. Joe.

Joe:.

Haruka:.

Joe: What is kay konchski.

Haruka: Kay Konchski is wedding.

Joe: Wedding, is this you?

Yeah man, yeah.

Ta da, that's why I'm here.

Joe: Congratulations.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Joe: How long's this been.

It's been like two months,

it's not a big deal.

Joe: Two months.

It's not like set, like two years.

Joe: Years.

I mess up my English, so it's a little.

Joe: I mean it says neigatz, that's February.

February, right, it's February.

Joe: Are you excited?

I came out here didn't I,

like look I'm, yeah man.

Joe: Did you know about this?

No, no of course he doesn't know,

I mean why would I tell him cause it's not,

it's not, it's not set.

Joe: So, are you excited?

Yeah man, like brother like brother,

like, you look happy, why wouldn't I be happy?

I'm thrilled, I'm really excited.

That's why I'm here, da da.

Congratulations Michael.

Is it true?

So when were you gonna tell me?

It's, it's, it's something

that's been happening.

I don't know if it's the right thing.

But she wants it.

What do you want?

From you?

From your life Michael.

I wish I was like you.

I wish you were like yourself.

Hey, how was the trip?

Yeah?

Yeah, we just got here.

I'm gonna have to give you a call back.

Thanks.

Bye.

Hey, where you going?

Fuck you Michael.

So.

Can we sit?

We're here.

You noticed.

So, I'm not sure what's gonna happen next.

It's up to you.

We came here together.

We did.

So.

I'm ready, so, I'm going in.