All language subtitles for The.Comfort.of.Strangers.1990

My father was a very big man.

All his life, he wore a black mustache.

When it turned gray,
he used a little brush to keep it black,

such as ladies use for their eyes —
mascara.

Everyone was afraid of him.
My mother, my four sisters.

At the dining table, you could not speak

unless spoken to first by my father.

But he loved me. I was his favorite.

I want to call England.
Yes, I want to call England.

No, no, it's not London.

It's not London.

It's in Sussex. Hastings, in Sussex.

You know the code.
You got it for me yesterday.

Well, someone did, yes.

Quattro, cinque, otto, due, sei, uno.

Hastings, Sussex.

Oh, God!

Can't read this damn book. It's —

It's unreadable.

Can't even bind
the bloody thing properly.

Come on, let's go out.

I'm trying to get through to the children.
Can't you hear?

All right. Answer.

Hello? Yes.

Mother, hello!

Yes, lovely.

Yes, absolutely. How are they?

Are they...?

Yes, lovely. Uh —

Hello, darling, it's Mummy.

How are you?

Is Cathy there?

Incredible, isn't it?

I think the St. Augustine is incredible.

So...

- I don't know.
- Mmm. You thought that the last time.

What do you mean?

Well, you thought it was incredible
the last time.

The last time we were in Venice, remember?

- Did I?
- Mmm.

- Well, so what?
- Nothing, I'm just —

I mean, what's the point?

What's the point of saying that?
Why did you say that?

- I didn't mean it as an insult.
- Christ.

- I'm simply making an observation.
- What observation?

I'm simply pointing out
you haven't changed your mind.

You feel the same way now as you did then.

Anyway, I agree with you.
I think it's incredible, too.

Shit.

What is it?

Look.

Got another pimple.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.
The girls won't love you anymore.

I must need to eat more salt
or something.

- What?
- I need to eat more salt or something.

You don't need salt, you need sex.

- Could I have it with salt?
- Why not?

God.
Don't they know I'm trying to shave?

Hello?

Yes, he is. Hold on a minute.

It's Simon.

What?

Yes, well, I'm only halfway through
the bloody thing, Simon.

It's unreadable anyway.

Yes, well,
this is supposed to be my holiday.

- Those two. Thank you.
- Ventimila.

- Ecco una.
- Okay.

Now, this one's for Jack.

- Ecco la seconda.
- And this is for Cathy.

- Lovely.
- What do you think?

They'll be thrilled.

Now, I'm going to do
a little drawing of Cathy.

With spots.

And I'm going to do
a little drawing of Jack.

For Jack.

Jacko.

- What do you think?
- Fantastic. You're a genius.

Grazie.

Hold it.

Oh, come on. Smile!

Oh, excuse me.
Would you take a photograph of us?

- Avec plaisir.
- Thank you.

- Tiens-moi ça.
- Oui.

- There we go, okay?
- Voilà!

- Thank you.
- Il n'y a pas de quoi.

My youngest sisters,

Alice and Lisa,
came to me in the garden and said,

"Robert, Robert,
come to the kitchen quickly.

Eva and Maria have a treat for you."

Mmm, Cathy's been selected
for the football team. Did I tell you?

What football team?

- The school football team. What else?
- Hmm.

- Don't you think it's dangerous?
- Not really.

Tell me something. Tell me the truth.
Do you like children?

- What children?
- My children.

Uh-huh. I like your children.

No, what I mean is,
do you actually like children?

- Well, you mean all children?
- Children. Do you actually like children?

What, you mean as such?
The species as such?

What I mean is —

The real truth is...
you don't like children.

What you mean is, you think
I don't like your children.

What about me?

Do you like me?

Mmm. I like you.

And you know why?

No. Why?

I like you because you're always asking me
such challenging questions.

You're always testing my intellect.

Did I ever tell you the terrible thing

that happened to me
when I was a little girl?

The worst thing that ever happened to me?

No, you didn't tell me.

Well, I was about seven or eight,

and there was this gang of kids —

boys and girls —

and we were this gang.

And one day...

some of them said,
"One member of this gang

isn't really good enough
to be a member of this gang,

and does everyone agree
that we should throw this person out?"

And I said, "Yes. Yes."

- I clapped.
- Clapped?

Yes.

I clapped.

I said, "Yes, throw this person out."

And you know who that person was?

Mmm. You.

Yes.

That's terrible.

That's a terrible story.

I don't understand.

What do you say, Mary?

Up at dawn for you and into a speedboat?

Where shall we go? Where can we go?

Murano. They blow beautiful glass.
Very nice.

Oh, Murano. Lovely.

- What time is dawn?
- Buonanotte.

- Dawn, signore?
- Daybreak.

A speedboat to Murano at daybreak.

And on the table were
two big bottles of lemonade, a cream cake,

two packets of cooking chocolate,
a big box of marshmallows.

And Maria said,
"Look, darling. This is all for you."

Colin?

Find anything?

Isn't this beautiful?

What do you think?

And Maria said,
"Look, darling. This is all for you."

Are you asleep?

Mary, it's late.

- What is it?
- We haven't had any dinner.

What time is it?

Late.

Padovani's.
Will Padovani's be open?

- Or what about —
- No. No, it's quite late.

Too late. All closed.

But I know a very good bar.
Late-night bar.

Nice sandwich. Good drinks.

Very nice place. Very easy to find.

- All right. We'll have to take a map.
- All out. It's my only one, sorry.

- Well, let me look.
- Here. You see?

- Mmm.
- Very nice.

- You go straight out of here.
- Mmm.

Turn and take a right.

Then you turn and take a right.

Right... there.

Right. Mmm. Thanks.

- Look, this way.
- How do you know?

What do you think?

- Yes, there we are.
- No.

It's definitely this way.

I'm sorry, but it is.

- Oh!
- Hmm.

- This way?
- All right.

Colin!

What's that?

Ah.

Look at that bed.

- She reminds me of someone.
- It's like a space shuttle.

What do you think? Where are we?

Is this right?

Yes, definitely.

- Look at all this.
- "Collettivo Femminista Venezia."

Women are so radical here.
They're really impressive.

I wish we had a map.

They want convicted rapists castrated.

See this building?

We've been past this building
about ten minutes ago.

Quite right too.

- What is?
- To castrate rapists.

What was that man doing?

Glass at this time of night?

- Come on.
- Very strange.

- I'm starving.
- I think we're on the right track.

So do I.

Good evening. You need help?

Well, uh...

we're looking for a place
to get something to eat.

There's absolutely nothing
in that direction,

but I can show you
a very good place that way.

- No, isn't there a bar just over there?
- No. No, closed.

Everything is closed.

- My name is Robert.
- Hello.

Would you like to eat
some beautiful Venetian food?

We'd love to.

I'll show you this place.
You must both be terribly hungry.

All right. Let's go.

Um...

This is Mary. I'm Colin.

- You're English?
- Yes.

Whereabouts?

Uh, Mary's from Bristol
and I'm from London.

Ah. Beautiful country.

- Your first trip to Venice?
- No. We were here three years ago.

- Two years ago.
- Two.

Changed much, has it?

These posters are everywhere.

These are women who can't find a man.

They want to destroy everything
that's good between men and women.

They don't know what they want.

This way.

- Ciao, ragazzi. Come va?
- Bene, grazie.

- It's very easy to get lost.
- Mmm.

Often there's a dead end or a canal.

It's not far.

Buonasera, Robert.

Please.

Monica. Jocelyn. Ça va?

This way, please.

Thank you.

Please.

It's the real Venice.

Excuse me.

Grazie.

There's no food. I'm sorry.
The cook is sick.

It's a tragedy. I could kill him.
Very sorry.

But this is a wonderful wine.
Full of nourishment.

Mmm.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Now, tell me.

I'm a man of immense curiosity.
Passionate curiosity.

- Are you married, you two?
- No.

But you live together.
But you live together in sin.

- No.
- No? Why not?

In this day and age,
no one would stop you.

In this day and age, as you well know,
there are no standards.

What about you? Tell us a bit about you.
I mean, who are you, anyway?

But you have a child. Am I right?

- How did you know?
- I feel it.

I have two children.

A boy and a girl.

- This is your boy and your girl.
- Yes.

Beautiful. Beautiful. Not yours.

Not mine.

Beautiful children.
They take after their beautiful mother.

Thank you.

Your English is terribly good.

I grew up in London. My wife is Canadian.

Any more breadsticks?

- Ancora vino. E deigrissini.
- Arrivo subito.

- Your wife's Canadian?
- Certainly. We lived there.

Oh. How did you meet?

Ah.

That would be impossible to explain
without describing my mother and sisters,

and that would only make sense
if I first described my father.

In order to explain how I met my wife,
I would have to describe my father.

Mmm. You want me to do that?

Would you really like me to do that?
Shall I do that?

All right. All right.

My father was a... very big man.

All his life, he wore a black mustache.

When it turned gray,
he used a little brush to keep it black,

such as ladies use for their eyes —
mascara.

Everyone was afraid of him —
my mother, my four sisters.

At the dining table, you could not speak
unless spoken to first by my father.

But he loved me. I was his... favorite.

He was a diplomat all his life.

We spent years in London. Knightsbridge.

Every morning, he got out of bed at 6:00

and went to the bathroom to shave.

No one was allowed out of bed
until he'd finished.

My eldest sisters were 14, 15. I was ten.

One weekend, the house was empty
for the whole afternoon.

My sisters whispered together.
Their names were Eva and Maria.

They called me and they led me
into my parents' bedroom.

They told me to sit on the bed
and be quiet.

They went to my mother's, um,
dressing table.

They painted their fingernails,
they put creams and powder on their faces,

they used lipstick.

They pulled hairs from their eyebrows
and brushed mascara on their lashes.

They took off their white socks

and put on my mother's silk stockings,
panties.

They sauntered about the room looking
over their shoulders at the mirror.

They were, mmm, beautiful women.

They laughed and kissed each other,

they stroked each other,
they giggled with each other.

I was enchanted. They fed my enchantment.

They whispered to me
that it was our secret,

that we would keep it
in our hearts forever, never reveal it.

But that night, at dinner,
I felt my father staring at me,

staring deep into me.

He chewed, swallowed,
he put his knife and fork down.

He looked at me.

My heart started to beat.
To thump. To beat, to thump.

My father said, "Tell me, Robert.
What have you been doing this afternoon?"

He knew.

I knew he knew.
But he was God. He was testing me.

So I told him. So I told him
all that my sisters had done.

I told him everything.

My mother was silent.
My sisters' faces were white.

No one spoke.

My father said, "Thank you, Robert,"
and finished his dinner.

After dinner, my sisters and I
were called to my father's study.

They were beaten with a leather belt
without mercy.

I watched this.

A month later, they took their revenge.

We children were again alone in the house.
Nanny was away.

My youngest sisters —

Grazie —

Alice and Lisa, came to me in the garden.

They said, "Robert, Robert,
come to the kitchen quickly.

Eva and Maria have a treat for you."

I was suspicious, but I went.

I was so...

innocent.

On the kitchen table were
two big bottles of lemonade, cream cake,

two packs of cooking chocolate,
a big box of marshmallows,

and Maria said,
"Look, darling, this is all for you."

"But first," Eva said,
"you must drink some medicine.

This is very rich food and this medicine
will protect your stomach.

Help you to enjoy it."

I was too greedy to question this.
I drank the medicine.

Only slightly disgusting.

Then I ate the chocolate,
the marshmallows and the cake,

and drank a bottle of lemonade.

They applauded and said that only a man
could drink a second bottle of lemonade.

It would be beyond my capabilities.

I said, "Give it to me."

And I drank the second bottle.

And I finished the chocolate
and the marshmallows and the cake.

They said, "Bravo, bravo."

Then the kitchen began to spin around me

and I badly needed to go to the lavatory.

Suddenly, Eva and Maria held me down

and tied my hands together
with a long piece of rope behind my back

and dragged me into my father's study.

They took the key from the inside,
slammed the door and locked it.

"Bye-bye, Robert,"
they called through the keyhole.

"Now you are big Papa in his study."

I was locked in...

my revered, my feared father's study,

where he received the diplomatic corps
of London, the elite of the world.

And I puked and pissed and shat
all over my father's carpets and walls.

My father found me there.

He said, uh, "Robert..."

"Have you been eating chocolate?"

Then he nearly killed me.

Then he didn't speak to me for six months.

I've never forgiven my sisters.

My only solace was my mother.

I grew so thirsty at night.

She brought me a glass of water
every night

and laid her hand upon my brow.

She was... so tender.

When my father was away,
I slept in her bed.

One afternoon,
the wife of the Canadian ambassador

was invited to tea.

She brought her daughter Caroline.

When my mother showed her mother
our garden,

we were left alone, the children.

Suddenly Eva said,

"Miss Caroline,
do you sleep with your mother?"

Caroline said, "No. Do you?"

And Eva said...

"He does."

And all my sisters giggled, and Caroline
looked at me and smiled and said,

"I think that's really awfully sweet."

And she became my wife.

Not at that moment, of course.

We were both only...
11 years old at the time.

Where on earth are we?

Hmm? Do you know?

God, let me sit down. I've got such a —

- Hmm?
- Oh, I've got such a headache.

Oh. Can I...?

Can you press the back of my neck?
Just there.

- There?
- Yeah.

That's it?

- Oh, God. I'm going to —
- What?

- Shh-shh.
- Sorry.

Sit down.

I'm all right. I just have to sit down.

I can't walk anymore.

Hold me.

Mmm.

What a terrible man.

Who was he?

We're on our holiday.

Mary. Hey.

- Hey, wake up.
- Mmm?

- Come on.
- Where are we?

I don't know. Venice. Come on.

- Come on.
- Help me.

Wait.

I've been bitten.

Well, try not to scratch.

I'm so thirsty.

You're going to have
to look after me today.

Why? Did you look after me yesterday?

I'm so thirsty.

Ah. There's the waterfront.
Come on. There'll be a café.

Let's go in the shade.

We'd like to order something to drink,
please.

I will tell your waiter.

I wonder how the children are.

When you spoke to them — When was it?

- Was it yesterday?
- How were they then?

It's like a prison here.

Let's go home.

The flight's paid for.
It doesn't leave for another five days.

We could get another one.

Why do you want to go home? Excuse me!

I can't believe it. He's coming.

We should've brought the children with us.
It would have made all the difference.

To me, anyway.

- Signore?
- A jug of water, please. With ice.

- Water?
- Um... coffee.

- Croissant? Eggs? Juice?
- No, just a jug of water. Thank you.

Oh, let's go to the hotel
and get water there.

All right.

He's probably bringing it anyway.

I don't know why we came here.

Why did we come? We've been here before.
Why did we come again?

Actually, I remember why we came.

We thought we'd find out what to do,
didn't we?

What to do about you and me.

Well?

Have you found out?

I haven't. I just want to go home.
To my own bed and my kids.

Or maybe you have.

Maybe you have decided what you want.

What you want to do.

Have you?

No.

Oh, God.
We should have gone back to the hotel.

He's missed us.

And one thing
that we can say is that

the decay of Venice began
with the discovery of America.

The decay lasted until Napoleon.

My friends.

And how are you both this morning?

- Terrible. We slept in the street.
- Street?

- Well, after we left you, we —
- We didn't have a map.

I'm horrified. It's entirely my fault.

I kept you late with wine
and my stupid stories.

Stop scratching. No, no, no, it's not
a question of that. We just couldn't —

It's my fault.
And it's my responsibility to correct it.

- You must come to my house.
- Signore, your coffee.

Senta. Lasci stare.

No, no, we have a hotel.

My house is a thousand times
more comfortable, peaceful, serene.

We take a taxi.

Please.

- What do you think?
- All right.

Come. Please.

Where are we?

Robert brought us here.

Robert. Where is he?

I don't know.

What time is it?

Evening.

- Did you sleep well?
- Mmm, yes, wonderfully.

- How's your bite? Oh.
- It's gone.

Where's my watch?

Where's our clothes?

Hmm? Have you seen them?

Not in there.

Not in here.

No?

Don't you think we ought to find them?

- I feel good.
- I must find out what's going on.

I just can't walk around here
stark bloody naked.

I think there's a dressing gown
hanging up in there.

I can't wear this. Look.

Yes, you can. You look lovely.

You look like a god.

I think I'm going to
have to take you to bed.

This isn't a dressing gown.
It's a nightie.

You've no idea how good you feel in it.

I can't walk around a stranger's house
dressed like this. I'm sorry.

Not with an erection, hmm?

Mmm?

Here. Put it on.

Find out what's going on.

How do I look?

Hello.

I'm Caroline, Robert's wife.

- Well, you're looking rested.
- Hello.

Come outside. It's nice.

Oh. Wow.

Mmm. It is beautiful, isn't it?

I spend as much time as possible out here.

- I'm Mary Kenway.
- Yes, I know.

- Come and sit down.
- Is this yours?

Yes.

- I made it.
- Oh.

I sometimes sit out here
and do embroidery. I like embroidery.

Well, it's lovely.

- Would you like a biscuit? Take one.
- Thanks.

- You must be hungry.
- Mmm.

Robert wants you to stay for dinner.
He'll be back for dinner.

He's gone to his bar.
A new manager starts there tonight.

His bar?

Yes. You were there last night,
weren't you?

He didn't say it was his bar.

Well, it's just —
It's a kind of hobby, I guess.

But you know more about it than I do.
I've never been there.

Have you done something to your back?

It helps to move.

Sometimes I just stand up and move about.

- Are you fond of your friend?
- Colin?

I hope you don't mind.
There's something I must tell you.

While you were both asleep,
I came in and looked at you both.

I just sat on the chaise for half an hour.
I just sat there and looked at you both.

Oh.

Colin is very beautiful, isn't he?
Robert said he was.

Oh, you are too, of course.

You both have such wonderful skin.

Are you in love?

Well, I...

I do love him, I suppose.

Not quite like when we first met.

I trust him, really.
He's my closest friend.

But what do you mean by "in love"?

I mean that you'd do absolutely anything
for the other person.

And you'd let them do
absolutely anything to you.

Anything?

If you're in love with somebody, you —

Oh!

Hello.

This is Colin.
This is Caroline, Robert's wife.

- Are you having a nice time?
- Um...

- On your holiday?
- Yes, except we keep getting lost.

Pull up a chair.

- Oh, my God!
- What?

Your clothes.

I forgot. I washed and dried them.
I clean forgot.

I must tell you where they are.

But before I do, I think you should
tell him what I told you, don't you?

- What?
- What I did while you were both asleep.

Oh. Right.

Um, Caroline came in and looked
at us both whilst we were asleep.

Oh, did she?

Yes.

You were so peaceful. Just like a baby.

Babies can be very ratty in their sleep.

Oh, no, not him.
I'm sure he always sleeps sweetly.

- Yes, but I'm not a baby.
- No, I never said you were.

I only said that you slept like a baby.

Now, listen. Robert is very keen for you
to stay and have dinner with us.

He told me not to let you
have your clothes till you agreed.

- You must be starving, anyway.
- Mmm.

So you will?

- Well, I —
- Oh, please.

If you don't, he'll blame me.

- Come on, let's stay.
- Oh, good.

And, uh, now can I have my clothes?

They're locked in your bathroom cupboard.
Here's the key.

- Thanks.
- Just through there.

Oh, isn't it sweet when men are shy?

It's so sweet.

Tell me, what do you do? Do you work?

Well, I mainly do voice-overs these days.

You know, commercials.

I was with a women's group
until about six months ago.

A women's group?
What do you mean, a women's group?

- A theater group.
- You're an actress?

Oh, what a beautiful thing that must be.

Well, sometimes.
Anyway, the group broke up, so —

Women. It was all women?

Well, some of us wanted to bring in men
from time to time,

and the rest of them
wanted to keep it pure.

That's what broke us up.

But how can you do a play with only women?

I mean, what could happen?

"Happen"?

Well, you, uh —

you could have a play about two women
who have only just met

sitting on a balcony talking.

But they'd probably be waiting for a man.

And then he'd come.

- And then something would happen.
- Ah.

- It hurts when I laugh.
- Oh, God. Can I do anything?

Would you just touch me here on my neck?

There. Press it.

No, uh, harder.

Yeah. That's it. Thank you.

Ah.

- We did an all-women Hamlet once.
- Hamlet?

I've never read that play.

In fact, I haven't seen a play
since I was at school.

Isn't that the one with the ghost,
and somebody locked up in a convent?

- And then everybody dies at the end?
- Mmm.

- Were you the star?
- No.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Have you slept well?
- Oh, wonderfully. Thank you so much.

- What a beautiful apartment.
- I'll get the glasses.

It belonged to my grandfather.

You see that island?

That's Cemetery Island.

My grandfather and my father
are both buried there.

- You're staying for dinner, I trust.
- I'll get dressed.

- A glass of champagne first.
- Ah.

Carolina!

Thank you.

You look like an angel.

How are you feeling?

Better.

To Colin and Mary.

- Dinner.
- Oh, I'd better get dressed.

Oh. Thank you.

Thank you.

Beautiful place.

These books are the favorite literature
of my father.

And my grandfather.

All first editions.

These are things my father used every day.
Small things.

- He used opera glasses every day?
- No.

He used opera glasses at the opera.

They belonged to my grandfather.

Your father seems to be, uh,
well, very important to you.

My father and his father
understood themselves clearly.

They were men
and they were proud of their sex.

Women understood them too.

Now women treat men like children
because they can't take them seriously,

but men like my father and my grandfather
women took very seriously.

There was no uncertainty. No confusion.

So...

this is a museum...

dedicated to the good old days, hmm?

Mashed potatoes.

It's good to eat something
with mashed potatoes.

- Pass around the salad.
- Yeah.

- Do you want some salad?
- I'd love some salad. Thank you.

So, how is England?
Lovely, dear old England?

Hampshire, Wiltshire,
Cumberland, Yorkshire?

Harrods!

Such a beautiful country.
Such beautiful traditions.

Well, it's not quite so beautiful now.
Is it, Colin?

- Colin, are you feeling all right?
- Yeah.

In what way? In what way not beautiful?

Oh.

I don't know.

Freedom. You know?

Freedom? What kind of freedom?
Freedom to do what?

- Freedom to be free.
- You want to be free?

- Free to do what?
- You don't believe in it?

Sure, I believe in it,
but sometimes a few rules, you know,

they're not a bad thing.

First and foremost,
society has to be protected from perverts.

Everybody knows that.
My philosophical position is simple.

Put them all up against the wall
and shoot them.

What society needs to do is purify itself.

The English government's
going in the right direction.

In Italy, we could learn a lot of lessons
from the English government.

Well, I'm an Englishman and I have to say

I disagree violently
with what you just said.

I think it's shit.

I respect you as an English man,
but not if you're a communist poof.

You're not a poof, are you?

It's the right word, no? Or is it "fruit"?

Talking about fruit, it's time for coffee.

- No, I think we should be going.
- Yes, we must.

- But coffee —
- No, we've stayed far too long already.

But thank you so much. We're tired.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Our hotel won't seem quite the same
after your apartment.

Oh!

Nice.

I'm a keen amateur photographer.

- Go straight till we get to the —
- You take the San Zaccaria bridge.

Please. Please come back.
Please. It's important.

I can't get out.

- Love to.
- It's my back. You know, those stairs.

Anyway, um, thank you so much
for your kindness.

Good night.

- It's meant a great deal to us.
- Thanks. Good night.

Bye.

You know,
when I saw you on that terrace tonight,

in that nightdress...

you looked so beautiful...

my heart... jumped.

But I told you how you looked
in that nightdress, didn't I?

Permesso?

- Oh, please!
- Dovrei pulire la stanza.

We're on our bloody holiday,
for Christ's sake.

Mmm.

Come here. Come here.

- What's it like?
- Huh?

I often wonder what it feels like.

What's what like?

What's it feel like to be the girl?

I mean, having the feeling of being —

It feels...

like...

this.

I'm crazy about you.

I'm crazy about you.

Don't open the shutters.

Come here.

Come here.

Sit down.

Ow!

- I want you.
- No.

No? Yes.

No. No.

Wasn't that maid in the hotel
extraordinary?

- Mmm. Listen.
- Mmm?

Why did they do that to you, those kids?

Why did they hound you out of that gang?
I don't understand it.

Because they didn't like me.

Mm-mmm. They were jealous of you.
That's what it was.

They were jealous of your beauty.

I am myself. You know that, don't you?

I'm... jealous of your beauty.

In that it belongs to me.
Jealous in that sense.

No one else can touch it. It's all mine.

- Is it?
- Mmm.

All mine.

- It's my possession.
- I'm possessed?

Avete visto quei due inglesi?

Colin.

What?

- You know what those people are doing?
- Hmm? What?

- They're talking about us.
- About you.

- No, you.
- Or perhaps us.

This actually reminds me.
I wanted to ask you something.

You know all this thing
about thighs and bottoms?

- What thing?
- Well, you know.

People look at other people's thighs
and bottoms and they say,

"Christ, what thighs, what bottoms!"
or "What an arse!"

"What an ass."

"What tits," of course.

"What tits, what boobs, what a can."
If you see what I mean.

I mean, what I mean is...

Well, my first point is that only
the word "thighs" is constant. Get it?

You've got all these other words
for all the other words,

but there's only one word for thighs.

- Isn't that incredible?
- Well, you don't need another word.

"Thighs" is a perfectly good word.

- What's your question?
- This is.

When people look at you
and, well, you know,

talk about your thighs and your bottom,
or both, et cetera,

what sense of your thighs and your bottom
do you at such a time have, hmm?

Oh, people aren't talking about
my thighs or my bottom.

Now, how can you know that?

Because... the whole damn restaurant

is talking about
your thighs and your bottom.

Mine? No, I don't think so.

- Mm-hmm.
- Really?

Incredible.

- Oh, I forgot to tell you.
- What?

I had rather a good idea.

I'm going to hire... a surgeon.

A very handsome surgeon.

To cut off your arms and your legs.

Oh, really?

And I'll keep you in a room in my house
and use you just for sex.

- Whenever I feel like it.
- Mmm.

And sometimes,
I'll lend you to my girlfriends

and they can do what they like with you.

It's funny you should say that, because...

I've come to a sort of decision myself
and I haven't told you yet.

- A decision?
- Mmm.

I've come to this decision.

- What is it?
- Well...

I'm going to invent a machine.

Made of steel. Powered by electricity.

- It has controls, pistons.
- Mmm.

It has, uh, straps and dials.

And it makes a low hum. Like this.

Like that?

- And the machine will fuck you.
- Mmm.

Not just for hours and days,

but for years and years
and years and years.

Forever.

Mary.

You were having a nightmare. Mary.

What is it?

What is it?

Mary, you were having a terrible dream.
What is it?

Shh.

You are beautiful.

Are you awake?

- I'm so frightened.
- Shh.

What is it? What is it?

Touch me. Touch me.

Shh. Come on. Let's go back.

Come on. Let's sit down.

What is it? You had a terrible dream.
Do you remember it?

- Mmm.
- Hmm? Tell me. What was it?

There was a photograph
at Robert's apartment.

It was of you.

What photograph?

I looked through some photographs
at Robert's apartment.

One of them was of you.

Of me?

It must have been taken from outside.

From a boat or along the waterfront.

You were standing on this balcony.

- But I didn't see any photograph.
- No, you didn't see it.

- Don't fall asleep. Keep awake.
- I'm awake.

You're in his photograph.

Colin?

- What about over there? What do you think?
- All right.

Come on.

Something happened at Robert's flat.
I didn't tell you.

I can't hear you. What?

Something happened at Robert's flat.
I didn't tell you.

When you'd gone to change, to dress.
Remember?

Mm-hmm.

Well, he was talking to me.

About his father and so on.

And then, suddenly,
he hit me really hard in the stomach.

He —

- He totally winded me.
- He hit you?

- Yeah.
- But why?

Why didn't you say anything?

I don't know.

I don't know why I didn't say anything.

I don't know why he hit me.

And I don't know why he took my photograph
on the balcony either.

I'm going for a swim.

Listen.

I've been thinking.

Why don't we do it, huh?

- Do what?
- Get together.

You know.

Live together with the children.

I mean it.

I love you.

Yes, but we don't have to commit ourselves
to all that. I mean...

It's been such a lovely day.

Well, don't you want to?
I thought you wanted to.

I do, but... when I was swimming out there
and I was all alone,

I suddenly felt so... peaceful.

I can't describe it.

I could have gone on forever.

I can't get back to things like this...
just like that.

I thought you wanted it.

We'll see, shall we?

It goes around the other side
of the island first.

Then it cuts through the harbor
around to our side.

Let's take it, then.

We can get off at the next stop
and walk through, if you like.

What?

We can get off at the next stop
and walk through, if you like.

It's probably quicker
than going around the harbor.

Possibly.

Yes.

See where we are?

Colin! Mary!

Hi! Hi!

Come up!

- Come on up! Come on!
- Do you want to go up?

Well, she's seen us.
We can't very well be rude.

- Grazie.
- Just across the canal, please.

- Over there.
- Grazie.

- Hello.
- Hello.

How delightful. How delightful to see you.

The boat brought us around this side
from the beach,

so we thought we'd say hello.

We were expecting you sooner.

- You got my message?
- No. When?

I left a message at your hotel today.
We're going away, you see.

- We didn't want to miss you.
- No, we didn't get it.

But you came anyway. How wonderful.

- Going away?
- Ah!

- To Canada.
- Oh.

To see my family. So we wanted
to say good-bye, have a farewell drink.

So it's wonderful you came. It really is.

Take Mary and give her some refreshment.
I have to go to my bar.

I have business to finish. Very quick.

- Will you come with me?
- Uh, I'll just —

Walk with me. Keep me company.
We won't be long.

- Colin, I —
- Have you been swimming?

- Yes.
- Oh.

Good God.

I thought you were going on holiday.
Are you moving?

We're selling up.

We are going on holiday,
but when we get back,

we're gonna buy a ground-floor apartment.

- That's what I need.
- Oh.

- Would you like some herb tea?
- Oh, I'd love some.

- Ciao, Robert.
- Dove andate? Venite con noi.

- Okay. Okay.
- Okay.

- Ciao.
- Ciao.

- Somebody just pinched me.
- Venetians are very friendly people.

Ah. This way.

Let's go inside.

Robert said he told you
about his childhood.

He exaggerates a lot, you know.

He turns his past into stories
to tell at the bar.

Oh, no sugar for me.

I'm just stirring in the lemon
to bring out the taste.

- Shall we take it out onto the terrace?
- May I?

What happened to your back?

Sì, certo. È come hanno detto.

Esattamente. Sì, sì, ho capito.

Arrivederci.

L'avvocato dice
che il contratto è perfetto.

Mmm. All right.

Did you understand

what I was telling people
as we walked here?

No.

I was telling them that...

you're my lover,

and that Caroline is jealous
because she likes you too.

- Why did you tell them that?
- Why "why"?

We knew you would come back.

Now, look here, Robert. Hang on a minute.

Why did you take that picture of me?
The one you showed Mary? Hmm?

- Ah, she's very quick.
- But what was the point?

I'm selling the bar.

To him.

I've never told anyone this. Never.
But I want to tell you.

Soon after we were married,

Robert started to hurt me
when we made love.

I tried to stop him,
but he went on doing it.

And after a time, I found I liked it.

Not the pain itself, but somehow...

the fact of being helpless before it.

Being reduced to nothing by it.

And of being punished,
therefore being guilty.

I felt it was right
that I should be punished.

I thrilled to it.

No, it took us over totally.

It grew and grew. It seemed never-ending.

But there was an end to it.
We both knew what it was.

That waiter was once a fisherman,
but pollution has ruined the fish,

so fishermen become waiters.

Why did you take my picture?
What does it mean?

You see that barbershop?

My grandfather and my father
used that barbershop.

And I use that barbershop.

That's Cemetery Island.

Hmm.

My back happened suddenly one night.
It was very bad indeed.

And there was an incompetent surgeon,
you know.

So I'm like this.

He's terribly strong, you see.

When he bent my head backwards,
I blacked out with the pain, but...

I remember thinking,
"It's going to happen. Now.

There's no going back on it.
It's going to happen now.

This is it. This is the end."

Oh, I'm boring you.

Oh, no, not at all. It's the...

It's the sun, I think. The long swim.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mmm.

Do you and Colin do strange things?

Oh, no, I don't think so. No.

O-Oh, I-I'm sure Colin does.

In fact, I'm certain he does.

I want to show you something.

A bit dizzy.

I must show you something.

You haven't been in our bedroom, have you?

Ooh! My legs ache.

God!

He's so beautiful.

Robert saw you both
the first day you arrived.

That was the first picture I saw of him.

Oh, I'll never forget it.
Robert came home so excited.

And then he brought
more and more photographs home.

We became so close.

Incredibly close.

Colin brought us together.

It was my idea to put him here on the wall

so that we could see him all the time
as we made love.

I took that one myself.
Isn't it brilliant?

Why?

And then Robert brought you home.

It was as if God was in on our dream.

I knew that fantasy
was passing into reality.

Have you ever experienced that?

It's like stepping into a mirror.

Colin.

Colin!

Wake up. Wake up!

Colin and Robert are back.

Do you know where we are now?

Shall I tell you?

We are on the other side of the mirror.

Mary, what is it?

Mary?

What is it?

What's the matter?

Mary. What's the matter?

Cheers.

It's just a mild touch of sunstroke,
that's all.

She's not hot.
Mary, what is it? Is it sunstroke?

Shh-shh. Tell me. Try to tell me.

Tell me!

She's just tired.

Are you trying to say my name?
Are you trying to say my name? Wh —

- Co — Co —
- What are you trying to say?

- Co — Co —
- Cold.

- Co —
- She's cold.

We shouldn't crowd her.

She needs a doctor. Where's the telephone?

Oh, it's been disconnected.

Disconnected?

We're going away.

Well, you must know a doctor. Hmm?

Go and fetch a fucking doctor!

She's very ill!

- No need to shout.
- She'll be fine.

Mary understands.

You understand too, don't you?

You understand.
You do understand, don't you?

- Ah!
- Don't you know where you are? Get up!

Don't move.

You've cut my lip.

Shh. Don't move.

What have you done to Mary?

I'll do anything you want, anything.
Just get a doctor for her, all right?

- What do you want?
- Want?

I'll show you what we want.

I'll show you.

We'll show you.

Carolina.

Roberto.

What did you want from these people?

I ask you again.
What did you want from these people?

Nothing. They were friends.

Friends?

We had dinner there.

Why did you go back with your boyfriend
to these people?

What did you want from them?

Did your boyfriend like the woman?

I liked her. I don't think that he...

Did your boyfriend like the man?

No. No, he didn't.

And you?

You liked the man?

- Did you like the man?
- No.

So, why did you go to dinner?
And why did you go back?

Why did you come to Venice?
What were you looking for?

- Nothing, we just —
- Were you looking for... some fun?

We were...

We were going to get married.

Is this the body of Colin Mayhew?

Mm-hmm.

Sign here.

- Combed his hair the wrong way.
- Sorry?

It doesn't go this way.

It goes this way.

Hmm. "Robert."
Everyone call you that?

Mmm.

We found out about you. Very clever.

The drug, the tourist.

But now you plan everything in advance.

You sell your bar,
you sell your apartment,

you buy drug, and so on and so on.

And then, on the other hand,

you leave your razor
with your fingerprints,

you book a ticket under your own name...

and you travel with your own passport.

We don't get it.

Listen. Let me tell you something.

My father was...

a very big man.

All his life, he wore a black mustache.

When it turned gray,
he used a little brush to keep it black,

such as ladies use for their eyes.

Mascara.