All language subtitles for The Goldbergs s08e06_English

ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,
I loved a good popcorn flick,

so much so that I made
my own versions of them.

Yep, nothing thrilled me more
than a light-hearted romp,

and I couldn't wait
to be inspired
by Hollywood's latest.

One for Turner & Hooch,
please.

Sorry,
it's sold out.

But I had my heart set

on the gentle
action-comedy
of Tom Hanks.

Do the Right Thing
starts in five minutes.

Does it have action?
Excitement?

A hound with
a nose for murder?

It has Danny Aiello.

From Broadway Danny Rose?
Sold.

Spike Lee, huh?

What a fun name!

** Fight the power...**

ADULT ADAM: Turns out,
Do the Right Thing
was no light-hearted romp.

It was a groundbreaking look
at the tensions, heartache,

and violence
caused by racism.

I was inspired,
but in a different way,

and I had to tell someone.

Radio Raheem
had this huge boombox

and "love" and "hate"
on his hands.

And then Brooklyn
was super-hot,

so this sweaty
Larry Bird guy is
scuffing people's shoes.

And... And...
Okay, you're having
a fever dream.

I'm gonna run and go get
the tushie thermometer.

Mom,
we've discussed this.

I'm okay with
the mouth one now.

I need you to listen.

See, Mookie works
at this pizza place...

Pizza! Yes.

Let's get some pizza
and some crazy bread.

We're not getting pizza.

We're opening our eyes
to prejudice.

No, no.
Too late!

I'm in.
I had pizza
for lunch,

but I'll just fold it over
and say it's a calzone.

And I'll take
Hawaiian.

Those island people
wear flip-flops
to the office.

They know
how to live.

Pineapple?

Who puts fruit
on a pizza?

This guy!

There's literally
nothing I won't eat

if it's on top of sauce,
cheese, and dough.

What about sardines?
Those salty little guppies?
Stack them up.

Yogurt?
It'll just make it
healthier.

Franks and beans.
It's called
campfire pizza.

Reminds me
of summer.

Enough pizza talk!

I'm trying to tell you
I saw this movie

and it makes me want
to do something big.

From the moment you came
taxiing down my baby tarmac,

I've known
you were gonna
change the world.

Haunting,
but colorful.

She never disappoints.

I'm behind you 100%.

Then Adam F. Goldberg
is a man on a mission!

Ha!
Yes! Go, Schmoo!
Make your mark!

Yes, one large Hawaiian
with extra pineapple.

Hey!
No pineapple on pizza!

Ew! Barry!
No one wants...
Let me have this!

(ALL SHOUTING)
It's island time!

** I'm twisted up inside

** But nonetheless
I feel the need to say

** I don't know the future

** But the past keeps getting
clearer every day **

ADULT ADAM:
It was November 25th,
1980-something,

and Erica was about to be
in a horrible car accident.

Erica, no!

ADULT ADAM: At least,
according to Geoff.

Oh. Call 911!

(SCOFFS) Relax.
It's just a love tap.

That's a dent!

No way.
It's a ding,
at best.

Or a beauty mark.
Like Cindy Crawford.

We've got to
leave a note.

Why would we
leave a note?

The note should have
our contact info

so they can follow up
and we can help pay
for repairs.

Geoff! We did
nothing wrong here.

But everyone should
run and hide.

Yeah, the more time
we spend here,

the more it seems like
I made the dent.

But you did make it!

Oh, my God!
Where did you learn
this behavior?

You never leave
a note!

Ever! No note!

See, Geoff?
It all worked out.

Not for the guy
with the dented car.

Follow our Golden Rule.

"Do unto others
or they'll do unto you."

That's not
the Golden Rule.

He didn't say
the Golden Rule.

He said
our Golden Rule.
Words matter, Geoff.

I thought it was
"Do unto others

"before they do
unto you."

That's good too.
No, it's not.

And I don't like
this side of you, Erica.

Take it easy,
Saint Geoff.
No one got hurt.

Until now.

Ow! Why?

I did unto others
before they did unto me.

Golden Rule.

I did a good job
with you two.

ADULT ADAM: While Geoff
was learning something new
about my family,

Mr. Glascott was about
to educate my classmates.

Okay, students,
starting tomorrow,

we will be switching
to the Food Wheel,

which is five food groups
instead of four.

The state candy lobby
has added sweets

as an important part
of your diet.

Now they asked
me to sing

Pour Some Sugar On Me.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY,
CLEARS THROAT)

I have something
to say.

Dang it. I practiced
that nasty song.

Fellow students,

I just saw a movie

that taught me
a shocking lesson.

As we sit here,

safe and secure
in the City
of Brotherly Love,

racism is still
alive and well,

in Brooklyn!

Uh... What?

I didn't believe it
either.

But there are still
people out there
that hate others

simply for
the color
of their skin.

"Still"?

Where are you going
with this?

To the only place
I can go,

the end of racism
forever.

Meet me in the yearbook office
to join the cause!

In conclusion,
racism bad, sugar good.

(CHUCKLES)

I really let this one
get away from me.

Dude,
no one's coming.

What?
Why not?

Because you said
some dumb things

that were also
very stupid.

What's stupid about
being concerned
with racism

in the streets
and pizzerias
of Brooklyn?

You don't honestly
think that racism's
only happening

in a single borough,
do you?

It's spread to other areas
of New York?

Have we lost
Staten Island?

Racism's everywhere,
man.

Yeah.
It's in the school.

Really? I mean,
our school's not exactly
a model of diversity,

but I've never witnessed
any racisms.

Well, it's here.

And you call
racist acts
"racisms"?

I never said
I was an expert.

But, luckily,
I have strong opinions.

I was thinking
our group's motto
should be...

"Eracism."

Wow.
Our work here
is done.

Really?
No!

You have no idea
what we deal with.

Like my English teacher,

only calls on me
when we're reading
Othello.

I mean, does he only ask
the Danish kids to read

when we're doing Hamlet?

Magnus mostly
keeps to himself,

but I see
what you're saying.

And why does
my Home-Ec teacher

keep calling me
Connie Chung
as a joke?

Because Connie Chung
is a national treasure?

No!

I mean,
granted, she is.

Maury Povich
hit the jackpot
when he married her.

But it doesn't
make it okay.

(SIGHS)
I feel terrible

for not seeing
these things

or doing anything
to stop them.

So many racisms.

Stop calling it that,
but yes.

And there's tons more.

I've jotted down
a few incidents.

Wow, that is
a thick binder.

Maybe even too much
to digest in one sitting?

The fight is ours.
Let's dig in.

ADULT ADAM: As my friends
were teaching me
some tough lessons,

Geoff was schooling
Barry and Erica
in one of his own.

Thank you for agreeing
to meet with me.

Uh, I never
agreed to this,

but this meeting is
occurring where I live

and I didn't wanna
put shoes on,
so well-played.

It's no secret that Erica
and I hope to one day
have a family of our own.

Aww.
And that's why
I'm worried about

your broken moral compass
and complete lack of ethics.

Well, that took
a hard turn.

I've got to show you
that the world is not
just full of bad apples

trying to take
advantage of you.

Ha! Where is
this fantasyland,

with mermaids,
unicorns,
and armadillos?

Armadillos are real.

Sure, buddy.
Same with
Komodo dragons.

This guy.
Okay.

While grocery shopping,
would you eat a grape
without paying?

Sure,
victimless crime.

What about the grape farmer
who spends his whole day
bent over in the sun

only to have you
steal his wares?

If it's so tough,
that farmer should quit

and try something new.

Like BMX-ing
or high finance
or grape farming.

I panicked,
couldn't think
of a third one.

Next question.

I'm sure that
you've taken a penny,

but have you ever
left a penny?

Not even once.
I've taken the little tray
that holds the pennies.

Next question.

Would you ever
exceed the speed limit

to get to a dentist's
appointment on time?

Did it.
Got there.

Realized it was
the wrong day.

Mom called
and made the dentist
come in anyway.

Speed limit?

ADULT ADAM:
With that, Geoff realized

he would never be able
to convince them
to leave a note,

so there was only
one thing to do,

leave one himself.

You did what?
I left a note.

Why the hell
would you do that?

Because now you will see
that it pays to be
honest and moral.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Oh, hi.
(CLEARS THROAT)

I got your car confession.
Thank you so much.

Now I know who to sue
the pants off of.

Whoa! Those look
like nice pants.
Are those Wranglers?

Bugle Boy.

(CHUCKLES)
Bugle Boy.

ADULT ADAM:
As Geoff's theory
was proven false,

I was eager to figure out
why I had been kept
blind to the truth.

Mom, how com
you never told me
racism is still around?

What an entrance.
This house
never disappoints.

Racism?

Yes, that is a valid topic
of conversation,

and one that I am happy
to answer with my words,

and, uh, of course...

ADULT ADAM: Whenever
my mother was confronted
with a tough question,

she answered the only way
Beverly Goldberg could,

blatant distractions.

Sundaes! Topped with
creme de menthe.

It's got alcohol in it,
so you can get
a little bit drunk

like a babysitter would.

Who's up for Scrabble?

I'll allow Star Wars names.

Look what I found.
An 8x10 of
Vigo the Carpathian

signed by former boxer
and current actor

Wilhelm von Homburg.

No distractions,
woman.

I want answers.

Do you want me to live
in a bubble of ignorance?

I prefer a bubble
of happiness.

Hey, let's make bubbles.

Beverly, the boy
deserves the truth.

Think about where
our people came from.

I thought we came
from Abington.

Murray, please.
Jump in any time.

Well, as you know,
I'm not much of a jumper.

(GROANS)
But the boy's
turning 12.

I figure
it's about time.

I'm a senior in high school,
and time for what?

Here.

Murray, no.
Not the box
of harsh realities.

Your mom kept
those movies
away from you,

and for the record,
I was against it

until she made the most
convincing pot roast.

It's too much
too fast.

You're gonna short-circuit
his innocent little brain.

We're gonna deal with it
the way my dad taught me
how to swim.

He threw me
in the deep end

and then went inside
to play canasta.

That may not be
a good example.

Sorry, Mom. Looks like
the comfort of your
safe bosom ends today,

and I deeply regret
saying that.

(SIGHS)

What have we done?

Eh, he'll be fine.

ADULT ADAM:
But my dad couldn't
have been more wrong.

Why?

Do something,
Gregory Peck.

Don't make her pick!

Cambodia is such
a beautiful country.

Oh, no!

Why would
a small-town sheriff
behave that way?

Oh, mother of mercy,
why?

I miss feeling safe!

ADULT ADAM: Yep,
those movies proved it.

World bad.

World real bad.

ADULT ADAM: It was Goldberg
family policy to never leave
a note on a dented car,

and Geoff was
starting to see why.

Wait, so you're claiming
that you were napping
in your car?

We didn't even see you.

Yeah. I was using
my camouflage blanket,

so I totally disappeared
like an arctic hare.

Or also my dad.

Damn it,
he's clearly
playing us.

I was merely minding
my own business
in my car-house

when I was
viciously attacked.

But I'm willing
to be reasonable.

And that's why
I left a note.

Look, why don't I
just drop the lawsuit

and I won't call
our insurance companies?

Oh, my God, yes!
Thank you!

As long as you cover
my medical expenses.

FYI, this Adam's apple
right here got dislocated.

Might cost you
about 10 hundo.

A dislocated
Adam's apple?

That's not even
a thing.

I'm sorry.
Are you a doctor?

Not yet.

Damn it,
he's always
a step ahead.

Can't we just have
the damage assessed
by a mechanic?

I already did.
It's totaled.

From a ding
on the bumper?

But again, I'm willing
to forget the whole thing

for another 10 hundo?

10 hundo?
That's $1,000.

And no one says it
that way.

'Cause I don't like
to talk about money.

But, yes, cash.

Please. Haven't you
ever loved someone
so much

that you felt you needed
to change them
for the better?

The only things I ever loved
were my Adam's apple
and my car.

And you guys wrecked
both of those.

(MAN GROANS)

Ow! Pain and suffering.

Maybe we should
throw in another
10 hundo on top?

Have a great day.

And what
have we learned?

That everyone is terrible
and no one is decent.

He got there.
There ya go.

ADULT ADAM:
While Geoff was losing
his faith in humanity,

mine was already
long gone.

I know you'll say
I'm wrong,
but I feel how I feel.

The world is
a bag of hot,
festering crap.

Mmm-hmm.

What do you mean,
"Mmm-hmm"?

I agree.

The world is
crap in a bag.

What? Aren't you gonna
try to make me feel better?

Do you know I get followed
by store security
at the pharmacy?

I'm a 55-year-old man
in an argyle sweater vest.

What am I stealing?

More mustache shampoo?

You use a separate product
for your mustache?

It's a very
different hair.

But you're missing
the point.

The world is terrible.

But if it's all bad,
how do we fix it?

All you can do
is chip away.

For me, it's trying
to get the board to
change our textbooks.

They're outdated
and biased.

Did you know that
the chapter
on Civil Rights

is basically a fold-out
of Lyndon B. Johnson?

If you open
the third page,

you can see half of
Martin Luther King Jr.'s face.

Sadly,
he's misidentified
as Lou Rawls.

That just makes me
feel worse.

I know it's a lot,

but if you keep
pushing through,

good things
can happen.

Then what should I do?

Maybe something
you're good at.

I like making movies.

There you go.

Spike Lee creates films
to make the world
a more just place.

Why not use your much
more limited abilities
to do the same?

I'll do it!

I'll use my special brand
of genius

and my parents' money
to make a movie

that shines a light
on racial injustice.

Thanks, Mr. G.
Sure.

ADULT ADAM:
As I was off to right
society's wrongs,

Geoff went right to
the produce department
to make a point.

You were right.
Giving our fellow humans
the benefit of the doubt

was wrong
and totally naive
on my part.

And now I,
Geoff Schwartz,

will eat a grape
without paying.

Hey,
there you go.

I'm glad to see
you're finally
coming around.

And if anyone asks,

you're just "tasting"
one "grape"

to make "sure"
the bunch is okay

"for" human
"consumption."

I may have lost track
of where the quotes go.

Huh.
Nothing bad happened.

I might eat another one.

Ooh.
Playing with fire.
But the fire is grapes.

Thank you
for opening my eyes.

Oh, my gosh,
am I a bad boy now?

(CHUCKLES)
You are
the baddest boy.

I am the baddest boy.
(CHUCKLES)

Geoff, I... I think
you've made your point.

Yeah, you're right.
Enough grapes.

Onto the bananas!

(LAUGHS MANICALLY)
ADULT ADAM: Yep,
stealing that first grape

opened a Pandora's box
of supermarket mayhem,

leading Geoff to go on
the saddest crime spree
of all time.

This lifetime rule follower
was now a grocery store
bandit.

No pantry staple
was safe.

Oh, Geoff, no.

What am I seeing
right now?

Why are you all
staring at me?

This is fine.
Erica, tell them
it's fine.

Um...
Oh, no.
I went too far.

What the hell
are you doing?

Geoff, what are
you doing?

I don't know.
You broke me.

How did I break you?

I didn't tell you to do
your unspeakable things
to those chickens.

Yeah. I'm not even
good at being bad.

I'll just pay
for everything.

The car, too.

Because I always
do what's right.

Even if
my girlfriend doesn't.

ADULT ADAM:
While Geoff failed
at doing the wrong thing,

I had enlisted my mom
to help me do
the right thing.

Film screening
tomorrow!

Have a cookie.
Take a bite
out of racism.

Chocolate with
white chocolate chips,
huh? Makes you think.

Uh, sorta.

I'm glad to see
you took my advice
and made a film.

I can't wait
to see it.

Why wait? I'll give you
a sneak preview
right now.

(ADAM NARRATING IN MOVIE)

(MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYS)

Wow, such a long
and deeply cumbersome title.

Is it science fiction?

It's a combo platter of
all my favorite movies
with robots in them,

but a hidden message
about race.

I'm a rom-com guy myself,
but I'll give it a whirl.

Shh! Here comes
my big-screen debut.

(GASPS)
Back of the space ship,
you dirty hunk of metal.

(IN ROBOTIC VOICE)
But I'm tired from
all the dangerous work

you make me do
in the Jupiter mines,

and would like
to sit up front.

As long as I am
the President
of the Galaxy,

that will
never happen.

So the president
is a bus driver?

Space bus driver.

(MENACING MUSIC PLAYS)

(IN AUSTRIAN ACCENT)
Remember when I said,
"I'll be back"?

Well, here I am.

There's a dang Terminator
in this?

It's his signature
Goldbergian move.

Are people saying
"Goldbergian"?

I keep hearing it,
so yes.

Wait.

There must be
a simple solution

to this war between
our two kinds.

There is, citizen.
I am a cyborg.

That's clearly RoboCop.

It's just different enough
so there's no legal issues.

This is my love gun.

It will make us all equal.

(LOVE GUN PULSING)

We are all the same?

Intergalactic prejudice
is terminated.

(MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYS)

So?

How do I put this gently?

It's atrocious.

Okay,
all art is subjective.

And, please,
don't call it art.

Don't listen to
this ding-dong.

He obviously
doesn't get it.

The robots
are black people.

Oh, he got it.

And making us all the same
isn't better either.

Our diversity
is what makes us great.

(UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYS)

What the hell is this?

(BELL DINGS)

Oh, no.
Oh, sweet Lord
in the sky, no.

Make it stop.

Make it stop!

Please!
Make it stop!

(MOVIE STOPS)
(GRUNTS)

I'm sorry to say that you are
very out of touch, Adam.

(DOOR CLOSES)
Well, we've learned
a valuable lesson here today.

We should never venture
out of our comfort zones.

What? No.

Because of you,
I'm just some
sheltered kid

with no clue about
what goes on
in the real world.

And even worse,
I'm a part of the problem.

Thanks for nothing.

ADULT ADAM: Even though
Geoff knew he'd been scammed,

true to his word,
he was gonna
pay back John Calabasas.

Thanks for letting me
work off the debt,
Mr. Calabasas.

No problem, kid.

Whoa. You're supposed
to be in traditional
Oktoberfest garb.

Are those
Mork suspenders?

It was surprisingly difficult
to find lederhosen
in suburban Philly.

Well, it does
draw the eye.

I guess that's
what's important.

Okay. Hop to it.

Okay, uh...

Genuine Berlin Wall
for sale!

Uh, it's fresh
from Germany!

Get them
"wall" you can!

Erica?
What are you
doing here?

I was gonna ask you
the same thing.

I'm working off the debt
so he doesn't sue us.

Are these actually
from the Berlin Wall?

Oh. Who's to say
they're not?

Uh, me.
Because they're clearly
Spanish roof tiles.

It wasn't all concrete
and barb wire.

Some of it
was quite decorative.
Look it up.

Or clearly stolen from
the house being built
across the street.

Erica, just
let it go, okay?

The sooner I sell
these random
historical bricks,

the sooner
I'm off the hook
with this guy.

The next 6 to 18 months
are gonna be quite the ride.

Yeah,
this ends now.

Here.
What's that?

I'm paying off
this scam artist.

"Artist." Finally.
Thank you.

Whoa! This says
87 bucks, okay?

That's a bit shy
of the vague

10 to 15 hundo
that we had discussed.

That's because
I got an estimate,

and that is
the actual amount
it costs to fix the dent.

For the car.

What about my pain
and suffering?

Well, I also went
to the DMV
and found out

that your car is
registered to a one
Barbara Calabasas.

I didn't know
you were gonna do
some light digging.

Please don't tell Mom
I took her sled
for a joyride, okay?

That woman has
a terrible temper.

Well, then, take that
and get out of here.

Fine. But the joke's on you,
because I'm not fixing
the dent.

I'm spending
all this money

on lotto tickets
and strawberry milk.

You didn't
have to do that.

This is my fault
for believing
in the world.

Stop. That's what
I love about you.

I don't get it.
I thought you wanted me
to open my eyes.

Sure, there are
bad people out there.

But that just means that
the world needs more honest,
good ones, like you.

So, you don't want me
to change?

Actually, I was hoping
you could help me
be more like you.

Really?

Yeah. The more time
we spend together,
the better I'll be,

so when we do
start a family,

I'll be as much
of a sucker as you are.

Well, lucky for you,
I would love to be taken
advantage of together.

(CHUCKLES)
** There is freedom within...

ADULT ADAM: With that,
Geoff and Erica decided
that from then on,

they'd hold each other
accountable,

because that's what
you have to do with
the people you love,

even if that means
admitting you were wrong.

So, no sequel?

The first one
was a flop, so no.

Adam, I'm sorry
I sheltered you,
but I'm your mama.

It's my instinct
to protect you
from the world.

But all you've done is
keep me in the dark.

Walls, Dave Kim,
Mr. Glascott?

They're confronted
with this stuff every day.

They don't get
to hide from it.

So what do you
want to do?

For starters, I wanna be
a part of the solution.

I wanna figure out
how I can help.

It may not be a movie,

but I wanna
make a difference
wherever I can.

I know you will.

And I'm not gonna
stand in your way.

Maybe you'll show me
how I can help, too.

I'd like that.

ADULT ADAM: Truth is,
real change starts with
tough conversations,

'cause you have to
face reality
if you wanna improve it.

Injustice anywhere
is a threat

to justice
everywhere.

That's
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

And you would
know that

if it was
in your textbooks
where it should be.

ADULT ADAM:
Sure, a few people can't
change the world all at once,

but it's a start,
'cause that's what
progress is,

small steps that can lead
to something revolutionary.

The movies had always
inspired me to create,

but one in particular

inspired me
to do the right thing.

** Hey, now **

Oh, it's all
too much!

Oh!

(SOBBING)
Oh, no!

Oh, mother mercy, why?
(SHOUTS)

Geoff,

you've inspired me
to be a better man.

Aww, Bar. Are you giving some
of your stuff to charity?

Nope, I'm giving
some of your stuff back.

My missing Jordans?

I cried when
I couldn't find these!

So hard.
But they're back now,

and they smell
like my feet.

My toothbrush?
My pajamas?

A photo of my nana?

(CHUCKLES)
I like her face.

My prescription
swim goggles?

Yeah, those gave me
a headache in the shower.

But the good news is,
I learned my lesson

and I will never
permanently borrow

anything from you again.

Later, Schwartz.

GEOFF: Oh, come on!