All language subtitles for The College Years s01e09 Screech Love.eng

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SLATER (OFFSCREEN):
Hey, take care of it.

Please.

There goes your tip.

Whoa, check her out.

What line do you think
I should use?

How about your old standby,

"Excuse me, I seem to have
lost the keys to my Ferrari?"

Nah.

- Nah, that's too subtle.
- SLATER (OFFSCREEN): Mm.

I've got it.

"Has anyone ever told you you
have the most beautiful eyes?"

Why, thank you, Zack.

And let me say, your eyes are
pretty attractive, too.

Hey, she's got a tennis racket.

Why don't you ask her
to play tennis?

Tennis, perfect.

Gee, you think I should've
told him that's Linda Addington,

the eighth-ranked tennis
player in the country?

Really?

He's gonna get slaughtered.

I know.

Excuse me.
You mind if I cut in?

I've got a tennis court reserved
and my partner just canceled.

- Sure.
- Oh, thank you.

Boy, I gotta find a new partner.

Oh look, you play tennis.

I don't suppose you
want to play?

I don't think that's
such a great idea.

Hey, it's just for fun.

Promise to go easy on you.

Sure, I'll hit with you.

- But I have to warn you--
- Oh, no, no.

Please, please, don't apologize.

We all have to start
from somewhere.

We just won't keep score.

That's probably a good idea.

Boy, is she gonna be impressed.

? I'm standing
at the edge of tomorrow, ?

? and it's all up to
me how far I go ?

? I'm standing at the
edge of tomorrow ?

? I've never seen
such a view before, ?

? a new world before my eyes ?

? So much for me to explore ?

? It's where my future lies ?

? Today, I'm standing at
the edge of tomorrow ?

? From here, the future
looks bright for me ?

? And it's all up to
me how far I go ?

? It's my time to break away ?

? I'm standing at the edge
of tomorrow today ?

Hey.

So, how was tennis, champ?

Oh, she hits it hard, man.

Really hard.

Still have ball fuzz
in my teeth, look.

- Sorry about that.
- Well, I'm not.

Linda is beautiful,
rich, and famous.

I usually settle for
one out of three.

Well, well, well.
Here we go again.

Oh, Zack Morris, the
Baskin-Robbins of dating.

So, who's the new flavor
of the week?

Listen, Heckle and Jeckle,

Linda is not some
flavor of the week.

She's more like a classic
French vanilla.

I was thinking maybe
pralines and cream.

Yeah, with rainbow sprinkles.

Mm, I love rainbow sprinkles.

Yeah.

Here we are on this campus,

surrounded by thousands of
sophisticated men.

And we hang around with
these juveniles.

- Hey, I resent that.
- Yeah.

Hey guys, come quick.

We're gonna have a water fight
against the first floor.

Cool!

Hey, I've got water bombs
stashed in the stairwell.

- Come on.
- Let's go.

Well, Leslie, if we want
to meet mature guys,

we're just gonna have
to take the initiative.

Let's throw a party.

A, a sophisticated affair
with lots of fine food,

sparkling conversation,
witty, urbane men.

In togas.

OK, sophisticated togas,
all right?

Alex, I already saw your
play three times.

But it gives me confidence to
know that you're in the audience.

But Alex, I already know
all your lines by heart.

And Pinocchio's.

Besides, I've asked you to
come see me wrestle.

And you never come.

I suppose you're right.

If you come to my play again,

I'll go to your next
wrestling match.

- Deal.
- Fine.

So what's your character's name?

Name?

Yeah, like, the Masked Avenger.

I don't have a name.

Well, do you at least
have a cape?

Alex, that's professional
wrestling.

This is a real sport.

There are no names, no
costumes, no script.

Oh, so it's kind of
like an improv.

How long you been
playing tennis?

Gosh, I can't remember
not playing tennis.

My dad wanted me to
go back on tour this year,

but I wanted
to come to college.

Yeah, but Linda, as a pro, you'd
get to travel all over the world.

You'd get to play at Wimbledon,
meet the queen.

I already met the queen.

She bummed some gum off me.

Wow.

You chewed gum with the queen.

What a life you've led.

Yeah, but I just want to be a
regular student for a while.

Oh, in that case, how about
a movie tonight?

I have to study. I am
barely making it in astronomy.

Your problems are over.
Screech.

Hmm?

Buddy, can you tutor
Linda in astronomy?

Oh, I don't know, Zack.
It's awfully short notice.

I have a very busy schedule.

- When did you have in mind?
- How about now?

OK.

[cheering]

Wrestling is so barbaric.

Aw, Alex, it's beautiful.

The compressed
energy of every muscle,

the fluid efficiency
of every movement.

It's like ballet.

Yeah, Alex, think of it
as, uh, "Swan Lake."

Oh, look, that swan just
went into shock.

Slater, I don't want
you to get hurt.

Here--

for good luck.

Alex!

There's no kissing in wrestling.

[whistle]

[whistle]

[cheering]

Oh, man.

Slater, that's the best I've
ever seen you wrestle.

What'd you do different
this time?

I didn't do anything different.

Except I got kissed.

Man, the sport sure has
changed since my day.

I was kissed by Alex.

Well, make sure she does it
before every match from now on.

- Why?
- Luck, man, luck.

Look, superstition's a
big part of sports.

When I was with the 49ers,
we won 11 straight

because I had a dead
salamander in my sock.

Why'd you do that?

Because when I had the frog
in my sock, we never won.

Duh.

OK, the difference between
stars and constellations is?

Well, stars can be weighed
and measured.

Constellations are just
a map of the sky.

- Right.
- Really?

Yeah.
Why are you so surprised?

You're very bright, Linda.

You think so?

Gosh, to most people I'm just
this tennis player.

Well, being a tennis star
sounds pretty good to me.

Yeah, but you know how sometimes
when you're really good at something,

it sort of makes you
feel like an outsider?

Boy, do I.

Well, with me, it's always
because I've been this tennis freak.

Really?

With me, it's because
I've always been--

me.

Screech, you have such a
great sense of humor.

And you make astronomy fun.

Well, astronomy is really
exciting and beautiful.

Look in here and tell
me what you see.

A girl in the next dorm
doing aerobics.

Sorry, Slater's been fooling
with this again.

Now look.

This is Alpheratz, the brightest
star in the constellation Andromeda.

You see, in mythology, Andromeda
was said to be so beautiful

that the gods put her in the
heavens for all to see.

That is so lovely.

Yeah, it is.

So guys, how's it going?

Oh, great.

Screech is teaching me so much.

Hey, did you know that the sun
was gonna burn up in 5 billion years?

Whoa. Well, in that case,

we'd better get
going to the movie.

Goodnight, Screech.

I had a lot of fun.

Me too.

Hey, girls.

Listen, you seen Screech?

Isn't he tutoring Linda tonight?

Yes, but they should have
been done two hours ago.

I'm supposed to go
out with Linda.

Maybe they're not studying
astronomy.

Hey, Screech, where
have you been?

Proctor's Peak.

Make-Out Point?

Well, I've heard it's
called that.

Yeah, we were down at the
end of Jefferson Road.

On Lip-Lock Lane?

Well, I read that in
the guidebook.

There's this really old
oak tree up there.

The Old Necking Tree?

What? I'm not
allowed to have a life?

I'm beginning to understand why

we were the only ones
up there with a telescope.

Nice one, Screech.

Linda, let's get going.

Goodnight, Screech.

Don't forget --
tomorrow, black holes.

- Yes!
- Goodnight.

Zack, do you mind if we
don't go out tonight?

I've got this early tennis
practice in the morning.

[snickering]

Sure, Linda. I guess
I'll just see you tomorrow.

- OK. Goodnight.
- All right.

- Goodnight.
- KELLY (OFFSCREEN): Night.

Game, set, and match
to Mr. Screech.

Listen, Screech, uh,

you know, I, I, I think you've
been pushing Linda pretty hard.

I mean, she just needs
to pass an astronomy test,

not become She-Ra,
Mistress of the Galaxies.

Look, Zack, if this is about
tonight, I'm sorry we were late.

You know how time can fly when
you're talking about planetary nebulae.

I'll take your word for it.

Listen, you did a
great job, Screech,

but I don't think she
needs a tutor anymore.

What do you know
about astronomy?

I'm the tutor.

And I'll decide when the
tutee has been tuted.

Hey, Slater.
How'd the match go?

- I'm still undefeated.
- Oh, cool.

He can't lose. Yippee.

How can I lose when I have my
own little good-luck charm with me?

- Stop.
- Slater, I hate wrestling.

And I've had it with all this
superstition stuff.

It's dumb.

Dumb?

Well, how about that actors'
superstition where you can't say,

"Good luck," you have
to say, "Break a leg?"

Talk about
dumb.

Oh, yeah?

Well, the next time you
wrestle, break a leg.

And when you're on stage
tonight, good luck.

Oh, that is really low.

Now, this is Mercury.

Now, Kepler's laws state that
planets move faster--

The closer it is to the sun.

Boy, you're not gonna need
me pretty soon, I guess.

Well, I'm flunking biology.

Great, I'm a whiz in biology.

I can lead you through a frog's
intestines with my eyes closed.

Hey, Linda.

Listen, are you busy tonight?

Oh, by the way, Linda,
that reminds me --

there's a lecture tonight on
Neptune, last of the gas giants.

I can try to get us two tickets.

And that reminds me, I've
already got two.

How would you like to go?

I guess so, Zack.

See you tomorrow, Screech?

Do you realize it's
almost midnight?

How long can a lecture on
Neptune's gases last?

Oh, seemed like light years.
I've never been so bored.

You know, you don't deserve to
share interplanetary gas with Linda.

Oh no?

Well, after the lecture, Linda
and I went to Proctor's Peak.

And we didn't take
the telescope.

Oh yeah? Well--

well, when we were up there
looking through the telescope,

we bumped heads.

And I don't think it
was an accident.

You know, if this was
someone other than you,

I might get the feeling you were
trying to horn in on my girlfriend.

What do you mean if it was
someone other than me?

Screech, relax, buddy.

I know there's nothing between
you and Linda.

Well, for your
information, Zack,

there is something
between me and Linda.

I really like her, and
I think she likes me.

Oh, get real, Screech.

You're way out of your
league, buddy.

OK, I see what this is about.

You have so little
respect for me

that you can't even picture
one girl liking me more than you.

Well, I'm not gonna live with
anyone who thinks I'm beneath him.

You can find yourself
a new roommate.

As far as Linda's concerned,
may the best man win.

And I'm not afraid
of you, either.

Ouch.
That hurt.

[knock on door]

[sighing]

Oh, hi, Mike.

Good, you're awake.

Screech, it's after midnight.

I know, but I have a problem.

How many times
do I have to tell you --

there are no
monsters in your closet.

Now go back and--

Listen, I'm not gonna take
any of your guff, either.

OK, maybe a little guff.

See, I got in a fight with Zack.

And I need to crash
here tonight.

- OK.
- Great, thanks.

But no snoring, no
eating, no watching TV,

and no knock-knock jokes.

No problem.

I'll be asleep in
just a second --

just as soon as I put on one
of my environmental tapes.

Now, what do you prefer?

"Songs of the Humpback Whales"
or "Chimps After Dark"?

[chimpanzees screeching]

Turn that off or you're
one endangered nerd.

Got it.

Whales it is.

[whales singing]

Mike.

Mike, Alex isn't here.

- I need your help.
- I am not kissing your nose.

Alex!
I thought you weren't coming.

I wasn't, until I thought about
you getting your face

smashed into the floor and all
your things dislocated.

[whistle]

Quick, kiss me.

This guy is history.

[whistle]

Boy, I hate wrestling.

Then why are you here?

My boyfriend.
He thinks I bring him luck.

- Mine, too.
- Oh yeah?

- Yeah.
- Which one's your boyfriend?

He's wrestling right now,
in the red. Come on, Lee!

Break the jerk's head!

Hey, wait a minute. Th-that's
my jerk you're talking about.

Who cares?
Lee!

Wipe the mat with him!

Oh yeah?
Well, come on, Slater!

Kick his sorry butt!

Hey, sit down, missy.

Hey, don't be pushing me, bimbo.

[cheering]

Hey, you tore my blouse.

Oh yeah?
Well, I did you a favor.

It clashes with your pants.
Come on, chicken.

[cheering]

P�t�?

Kelly.
See that guy over there?

He's going for his
PhD in education.

The guy in the blue jacket --

he's gonna be a neurosurgeon.

Striped tie -- author.

Rubber boots -- janitor.

What?
He's cute.

Yeah, you're right.

P�t�?

Yeah, I just fixed it.

Flushes like a dream now.

Alex, what happened?

(LISPING) Slater lost his
wrestling match and it's all my fault.

Oh.

I thought you didn't believe
in that superstition stuff.

Well, Alex was having
her own match.

And when I ran up to stop it,
the ref disqualified me.

(LISPING) I'm so sorry, Slater.

That's OK.
Forget about it.

Hey, you really creamed her.

Maybe I'm your good-luck charm.

(LISPING) Ow.

He's so sweet.

Listen, will you show me that
headlock move you used?

(LISPING) Sure.

You need more leverage
in your forearm.

Excuse me, but, uh, aren't you
Linda Addington, the tennis player?

Yes, she is.

Oh, you know, I saw you play
Steffi Graf last summer.

I mean-- hey, Steve!
It is Linda Addington!

So what I love about
"Waiting for Godot"

is how Beckett
creates a sense of--

loneliness, isolation,
and utter despair.

- P�t�?
- Thank you.

Screech!
Get out of the bathroom!

What are you doing in there?

SCREECH (OFFSCREEN):
Bubble bath!

I don't have any bubble bath.

I know.

I used what was left of the
dishwashing liquid.

How am I supposed
to do the dishes?

They're done.
I put them in the tub with me.

So, what do you want
to do now, roomie?

We are not roomies.

And when that guy transfers out
of 316, you're outta here.

Now scoot over.
There's a game on.

Great, I love football.

Who are you for, the Browns
or the Chiefs?

I'm for the refs.

The refs?
How can you be for the refs?

They never lose.

Take that head linesman,
Bill Plankman.

I hate Bill Plankman.

He threw me out of a game
once in Denver.

Well, you must have deserved it.
What'd you do?

I bit a guy, OK?

[whistle]

Did you see that?

Great call, Bill!

Did you ever see a guy throw
a flag like that?

Cheering for the refs.

I can't watch this.

NARRATOR (ON TV): Our universe
is made up of millions of galaxies.

That's Andromeda.

That was our constellation.

I really miss Linda, Mike.

Then why don't you ask her
to go out with you?

What's the point?

I have about as much chance of
taking a girl away from Zack

as I do of taking my chimp
tape back from you.

You know, maybe you don't
deserve Linda.

- What do you mean?
- Because you're a quitter,

sitting here telling me
how you feel about her.

Did you ever tell her
how you feel?

Well, no.

Then you gotta tell her.

Right.

I'll tell her tomorrow!

No, right now!

And just be sure to
hit through it.

There is no such thing
as a mature man.

Hm.
They're all so predictable.

Well, most of them, anyway.

Linda!
Linda!

This last week has been
the best of my life.

I love you and I don't
care who knows it.

Screech, that's
very sweet of you,

but I don't think this is
the time or place.

Why not?

Well, you're in your jammies.

Oh.

P�t�, anyone?

Linda, can we talk?

Linda, I--

I just realized
something in there.

What, Zack?

Oh, about Screech.

I mean, he really
cares about you.

I mean, I like you,
too, but I have to admit,

part of what I
like is that you're famous.

But with Screech, it
doesn't matter.

I mean, he loves you for
all the right reasons.

If I were you, I'd pick
Screech over me.

I already have.

Now, it may be painful at
first, but you'll get--

- you what?
- You're a lot of fun, Zack.

But I feel different
around Screech.

He makes me feel smart,
and he makes me laugh.

I just wish I knew where he was.

Try 220.

Thanks.

Excuse me.
You want to go to a party?

- Yeah?
- Is Screech here?

Yeah, I'll get him.

Linda -- what are you doing here?

Can we talk?

Sure, once I get some feeling
back in my lips.

- [knock on door]
- Yeah.

Hey, guys.

- What's up, Screech?
- Hey, Screech.

You're not gonna push
me again, are you?

No, I'm cool now, man.

Sorry if I hurt you, OK?

Hey, Zack, you all right?

I'm fine.

Oh. Um, you know,

because I thought after
Linda dumped you for me

you'd be pretty devastated.

Yeah, but I'll live.

I guess you guys wouldn't
want me back now, huh?

I mean, it would be a constant
reminder of your inadequacy.

I could use a reminder
sometimes, Screech.

I'm sorry, buddy.

Why don't you come on back.

- All right.
- Yeah, that's my man.

OK. Hey, would you guys
mind helping me with my stuff?

- Ah, let's go.
- Let's go.

That won't be necessary.

Go away!

Mike!
Mike!

I forgot something.

My alarm clock.

I gotta get a dog.

What is this, improv?

[theme music]

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