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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:00:54,101 --> 00:00:55,738
Last orders, please.
3
00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:04,520
Shaun.
Yeah?
4
00:01:05,330 --> 00:01:06,558
Do you see what I'm saying?
5
00:01:07,283 --> 00:01:08,424
Yeah, totally.
6
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,390
I know he's your best friend
but you do live with him.
7
00:01:12,634 --> 00:01:13,800
I know...
8
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:15,891
It's not that I don't like Ed.
9
00:01:16,116 --> 00:01:17,724
Ed, it's not that I don't like you.
10
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,400
It's all right.
11
00:01:21,305 --> 00:01:22,797
It'd just be nice if we could...
Fuck.
12
00:01:24,141 --> 00:01:26,000
Spend a bit more time together.
Bollocks.
13
00:01:27,248 --> 00:01:28,475
Just the two of us.
14
00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:29,803
Cock it.
15
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,392
It's just with Ed here,
16
00:01:31,417 --> 00:01:34,907
it's no wonder I always bring my flatmates
out and then that only exacerbates things.
17
00:01:35,331 --> 00:01:36,531
What do you mean?
18
00:01:36,956 --> 00:01:38,924
Well, you guys hardly get on, do you?
19
00:01:39,768 --> 00:01:41,413
No, what does exacerbate mean?
20
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,105
It means to make things worse.
21
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,689
Right, right.
22
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:49,819
Well, I mean, it's not that I don't
like David and Di, you know.
23
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,499
Guys, it's not that I don't like you.
24
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:52,905
It's all right.
25
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,957
And it's not that I don't want
to spend time with you, 'cause I do.
26
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:56,784
It's just,
27
00:01:57,209 --> 00:01:58,961
Ed doesn't have too many friends.
28
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,444
Can I get any of you cunts a drink?
29
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,073
Anybody?
30
00:02:06,598 --> 00:02:07,743
No, thank you.
31
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:13,801
I know friends are important to Shaun,
32
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,136
but you do actually have to set
33
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,095
some quality time aside for yourselves.
34
00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:18,475
Yeah, I mean Daffs is,
35
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:21,024
always taking me
to see these listed buildings,
36
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,673
and, you know, I'm always
dragging him to the theatre.
37
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,024
I'm not so hot on theatre.
38
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,400
Well, how about a nice meal?
39
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,732
It's your anniversary soon, isn't it?
40
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:28,861
It was last week.
41
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:30,943
Did you do anything special?
42
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,504
We came here.
Shaun. Hog lumps.
43
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,831
Shaun, what I'm trying to say is,
44
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,430
I need something more,
45
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,937
more than spending every
night in the Winchester.
46
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:43,497
I want to get out there
and do more interesting stuff.
47
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,527
I want to live a little.
48
00:02:44,551 --> 00:02:46,535
I want you to want to want to do it, too.
49
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:49,620
Listen to me.
50
00:02:49,745 --> 00:02:51,397
I'm beginning to sound like your mum.
51
00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:53,177
Not that I'd know what she sounds like.
52
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,774
You still haven't met his mum?
53
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,097
Not yet.
54
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,776
Don't you get along with your mum, Shaun?
55
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,523
No. It's not that I don't get on with her...
56
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,022
Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun?
57
00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:02,520
No, I love my mum.
58
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,072
I love his mum.
Ed!
59
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,245
She's like butter.
Ed!
60
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,521
Shaun!
Guys.
61
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,604
Shaun.
Liz.
62
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:12,359
Look, I understand what you're
trying to say, okay, and I agree.
63
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,795
We should get out there.
We'll start tomorrow.
64
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,495
All right, I'll book a restaurant,
65
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,444
you know, the place that does all the fish.
66
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:20,072
Just the two of us.
67
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,824
Things will change, I promise.
68
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,123
Really, Shaun?
69
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,634
Time, gentlemen.
70
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,171
Shaun?
71
00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:42,366
Player two has entered the game.
72
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,584
Haven't you got work?
73
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,246
Player two has left the game.
74
00:05:00,050 --> 00:05:03,020
You do know the front door
was open again last night.
75
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,646
I'm not saying it was you.
I know, man.
76
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,898
I'm saying it was Ed.
Right.
77
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,360
I can't live like this.
78
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,658
I mean, just look at the state of it.
79
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,735
We're not students anymore.
Pete, just...
80
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,992
I mean, it's not like he even brings
any real money into the house.
81
00:05:21,071 --> 00:05:22,493
Well, he brings a bit.
82
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:23,915
What, dealing drugs?
83
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,660
Oh, he sells a bit of weed
every now and again, you know.
84
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:27,915
You've sold puff.
85
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,793
Yeah, once.
At college. To you.
86
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,716
Well, look, I've known him since
primary school, you know.
87
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,419
I like having him around, he's a laugh.
88
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,847
What, because he can impersonate
an orang-utan? Fuck-a-doodle-doo.
89
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,265
Oh, leave him alone.
90
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,270
All right, I admit he can be
pretty funny on occasion.
91
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,100
Like that time we stayed up all
night drinking Apple Schnapps
92
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,226
and playing Tekken 2.
93
00:05:47,605 --> 00:05:48,602
Oh, yeah.
94
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,359
When was that?
95
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,755
That was five years ago.
96
00:05:53,180 --> 00:05:54,632
When's he going home?
97
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,525
Hey, man, listen...
Top left.
98
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,321
I was gonna say... Reload.
I'm on it.
99
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,377
Since... Nice shot.
Thanks.
100
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,626
Two seconds.
101
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:11,872
You all right, Noodle?
Hello, mate, got anything?
102
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,299
No, man.
But Eball says you was holding.
103
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:15,326
I ain't got nothing.
104
00:06:15,351 --> 00:06:17,034
What? You ain't got nothing at all?
105
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:20,305
I've only got a Henry myself.
All right, later.
106
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:23,596
Listen...
Ed,
107
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,774
since you're not working at the moment,
108
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,602
could you please clean up a bit?
Yep.
109
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:30,807
And if you play the answer machine,
110
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,360
could you take down everyone's
messages, not just your own?
111
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:34,452
Yep.
112
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,371
It's not that taxing, is it?
113
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,024
Writing something on
a little scrap of paper?
114
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:39,877
Nope.
115
00:06:40,402 --> 00:06:41,333
Right.
116
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,699
Dom, hi...
Come on, it was pretty funny.
117
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,274
Will you do what he said though?
118
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:51,662
I ain't doing nothing for him.
119
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,713
Well, do it for me, then.
120
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,251
I'm sorry, Shaun.
121
00:06:58,627 --> 00:06:59,719
It's all right.
122
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:02,243
No, no. I'm sorry, Shaun.
123
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,270
Oh, my God, that's rotten.
124
00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,466
I'll stop doing them when you stop laughing.
125
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:12,966
I am not laughing, I'm going.
126
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:14,472
Get that.
You get it.
127
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:19,276
Hello, Shaun, it's me.
128
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,108
Look, I'm gonna be a bit tied up today,
129
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:23,865
so when you book the table, can you
make it 8:00 rather than 7:00?
130
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,617
I'll try you at work.
Bye, bye, bye.
131
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:30,759
Hey!
132
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,113
You're dead.
133
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,970
Spare some change, please, mister?
134
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:42,842
Yeah.
135
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,223
Watch out. Are you blind?
136
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,403
The American deep space probe Omega Six,
137
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,984
due to return to earth this weekend,
138
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:06,828
has unexpectedly re-entered Earth's
atmosphere over south-east England
139
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:10,203
and broken apart over what's
believed to be a populated area.
140
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:26,515
Nelson?
141
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:30,427
Nelson?
142
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,132
Hello, my friend.
No beer today?
143
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,435
No, it's a bit early for me.
144
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:53,120
Gather round, everyone.
Gather round, please.
145
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,246
Gather round.
146
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,953
Now, as well as Mr. Sloman being off today,
147
00:08:57,037 --> 00:09:00,917
I'm afraid Ash is feeling
a little bit under the weather.
148
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,468
So, I will be taking charge, as the...
149
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,886
Oldest.
150
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,884
Senior Staff Member.
151
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,261
So, if we can all just pull together,
I know that...
152
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,802
Hello? Hello, mate.
153
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,485
Noel...
I was totally munted last night.
154
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:19,769
Yeah, I spoke to him.
He's only got Henry.
155
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,389
All right, mate. Laters.
Laters.
156
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:32,680
Continue.
157
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:33,890
Okay.
158
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:40,255
As Mr. Sloman always says, "There's no
'I' in team but there is an 'I' in pie."
159
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,458
"In... There's an 'I' in meat pie."
160
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,917
The anagram of "meat" is "team."
161
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:44,967
I don't know what he's talking about.
162
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:48,263
Look, that's it. And, Noel, phones off,
yeah? It's not a social gathering.
163
00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,215
All right, keep your hair on, Grandad.
164
00:09:51,098 --> 00:09:54,349
I'm 29 for Christ's sakes.
How old are you? 20? 21?
165
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,180
Seventeen.
166
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,730
Hey, well...
167
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,750
Look, I know you don't wanna be here forever.
168
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,907
You know I got things I wanna do with my life.
169
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,229
When?
170
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:07,690
You got red on you.
171
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,820
Hello, mate.
172
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:15,708
This one comes with a basic,
sort of, digital package.
173
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:19,870
You've got your lifestyle
channels there, a bit of Trisha.
174
00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:22,919
You've got entertainment,
I don't know what that is.
175
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,137
News.
176
00:10:25,462 --> 00:10:27,786
All the basic news...
177
00:10:28,512 --> 00:10:29,804
channels.
178
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,803
Coming after me like this...
179
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,554
believed to be caused by exposure...
180
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:34,428
Shaun?
181
00:10:34,553 --> 00:10:35,836
Yeah, I'm with customers.
182
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,938
It's your dad.
183
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,227
He's not my dad,
184
00:10:40,652 --> 00:10:41,908
he's my stepdad.
185
00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,512
Philip.
186
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,346
Shaun.
187
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,948
I trust you haven't forgotten about tomorrow.
188
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,332
No.
Your bi-monthly visit.
189
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,660
No, I haven't forgotten.
190
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:00,868
Perhaps you could bring the flowers
191
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:03,130
you forgot to bring Barbara
on Mother's Day.
192
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:04,460
I was gonna.
193
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:07,588
And not a cheap posy
from a garage forecourt.
194
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,060
I wasn't gonna.
195
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,375
Well, we look forward
to seeing you tomorrow, then.
196
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:16,275
Okay.
197
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,944
You've got red on you.
198
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,488
I thought you said this
wasn't a social gathering?
199
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:29,597
What?
200
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,500
How comes you're allowed
to speak to your dad?
201
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:35,745
A, he's not my dad, okay?
He's my stepdad.
202
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,669
B, it was an emergency.
203
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,601
What, like buying your mum some flowers?
204
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,536
Noel, no matter what you might think, okay,
205
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,963
I do not find it difficult,
206
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,040
to keep my work
and my social life separate.
207
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,221
Shaun. It's Liz for you.
208
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:55,160
Hello.
Hello, it's me.
209
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,434
Hello.
Just quickly, did you get my message?
210
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,408
Yep.
211
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,808
Oh, so it's all okay, then?
Yep.
212
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,407
8:00, the place that does all the fish?
213
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:03,689
Yeah.
214
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,335
Oh, cool, well, that's great.
Just ring me later.
215
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:09,358
Goodbye, Liz.
Bye. Bye, bye, bye.
216
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,431
Liz from Head Office.
217
00:12:12,756 --> 00:12:14,249
It's nothing to panic about.
218
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,198
Sir? Sir?
219
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,252
Sorry. They're for my mum.
220
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:28,599
"To a wonderful mum"
or "Pow! Super Mum"?
221
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,352
The first one.
Right.
222
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,430
Oh, my God!
Jesus!
223
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,382
Shaun!
Yvonne.
224
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,657
How are you doing?
225
00:13:22,782 --> 00:13:23,669
Surviving.
226
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,042
So, are you living round here?
227
00:13:25,421 --> 00:13:26,421
Yeah, are you?
228
00:13:26,445 --> 00:13:28,312
Yeah, I've just bought a place, actually.
229
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,886
Bought?
I know, bit grown up, eh?
230
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,334
Are you still with...
Liz.
231
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,407
That's great.
Glad somebody made it.
232
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,155
How long's that been now?
233
00:13:38,534 --> 00:13:40,413
It's three years ago last week, actually.
234
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,572
Did you do anything special?
235
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:44,557
Well, we're going out
for a meal tonight, actually.
236
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,014
Oh, anywhere nice?
237
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:55,739
Come on!
238
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,324
Are you gonna thank me, then?
For what?
239
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,076
Tidying up.
240
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:04,886
Well, it doesn't look that tidy.
241
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,596
Well, I had a few beers when I finished.
242
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,598
Hello, Fulci's. Can you hold, please?
Yeah.
243
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,852
Do you want your messages?
What?
244
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,483
Well, your mum rang about
going round tomorrow night.
245
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:17,486
And then Liz rang about the two
of you eating out tonight.
246
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:20,326
And then your mum rang back to see
if I wanted to eat her out tonight.
247
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,703
What?
Hello, Fulci's.
248
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:22,800
Yeah, hi.
249
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,281
I know this is really
short notice and everything,
250
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,869
but could you possibly do me a table
for two for tonight at about 8:00?
251
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,245
No, sorry, we just gave
away the last table.
252
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:32,622
God!
253
00:14:37,168 --> 00:14:38,385
Wasn't true about your mum.
254
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,429
What am I gonna do?
Where are we gonna go?
255
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,263
The Winchester.
Don't be stupid!
256
00:14:42,288 --> 00:14:43,414
They don't do food.
257
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:45,059
There's a Breville out back.
John'll do you a toastie.
258
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,386
Ed, this is serious!
259
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,306
Hello.
Hello, it's me.
260
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,390
Hello.
261
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,441
So, what's the plan, then?
262
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:57,106
Yeah, there's been a bit of
a mix-up with the table, babe.
263
00:14:57,588 --> 00:14:58,961
What do you mean?
264
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,758
They're... They're full up.
265
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,362
But I thought you said it was all okay!
266
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:04,962
Yeah.
267
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,716
You didn't book it, did you, Shaun?
268
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,492
No.
269
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,753
So, what is the plan, then?
270
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,651
The Winchester?
271
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,595
Hello.
272
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:25,846
Dianne, can you let me in, please?
273
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,973
I'm not sure this is the best time, Shaun.
274
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,099
Oh, come on.
275
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,476
Lizzie doesn't want to see you,
Shaun. Go away.
276
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:32,603
Just open the door!
277
00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:35,652
She doesn't want to see you, Shaun.
278
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,103
What do you want me to do?
Do you want me to go...
279
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,586
Do you want me to climb up the wall,
280
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:40,364
come through the window?
'Cause I will.
281
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,532
You're not coming in.
282
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:42,505
I...
283
00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:44,998
All right. See you in a minute.
Don't...
284
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:58,858
Hi, it's me again.
285
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:02,132
Liz, can we just talk about this?
You know, let's go out.
286
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,315
What, to the Winchester?
287
00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:04,540
Do you want to?
288
00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:05,924
No, I don't fucking want to!
289
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,350
Okay. I just thought, you know...
290
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,145
It's not the only place in the world, Shaun!
291
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:12,293
Well, we could go to The Shepherd's,
then, they do Thai in there now.
292
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,349
I'm going out with David and Di.
293
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:15,433
Well, let's all go together.
294
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:16,733
What, you hang out with my friends?
295
00:16:16,734 --> 00:16:19,445
Sorry, a failed actress and a twat?
Well, that's harsh.
296
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:22,541
Your words.
I did not call Dianne a failed actress.
297
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,367
Let's just go out, you know.
298
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,989
Let's just go out somewhere
and have a laugh.
299
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,661
Things'll be fine, I promise.
300
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,282
You promised you'd stop
smoking when I did.
301
00:16:29,283 --> 00:16:31,157
What...
You promised you'd go back to the gym!
302
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,833
I...
You promised you'd try drinking red wine
303
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:33,876
instead of beer!
Well...
304
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,203
You promised you'd come
on holiday with me.
305
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,629
We went to Greece, didn't we?
306
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,126
We met in Greece.
307
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:40,534
At a rave.
It's just not the same.
308
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,510
You promised things would change.
309
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:43,757
You promised you'd get us free cable.
310
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,509
I'm working on that.
Okay.
311
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,511
Well, I can give up smoking.
I can give up whenever I want.
312
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,684
Look, see. Don't need them.
313
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:52,279
What was the next one?
314
00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:54,481
It's not enough, Shaun.
315
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,858
Basically, I'd say your nine lives are up, Shaun.
316
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,739
Get fucked, four-eyes!
317
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,945
Why don't you go out with her,
you love her so much?
318
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,797
What do you mean by that?
319
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:14,541
The devastation really is extensive.
320
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:17,245
It really is a total mess.
321
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:18,597
I don't know what he meant by that.
322
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:24,661
Got you these.
323
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,320
To a wonderful mum?
324
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:40,394
Yeah, that's because
I thought it would be funny
325
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:43,070
because of what you said last
night about me, you know,
326
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,505
you don't wanna be my mum and that,
327
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:45,642
and it's just a little joke.
328
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,693
It's something I just thought of,
spur of the moment.
329
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,663
They're for your mum, aren't they?
Yeah.
330
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:53,781
Smooth.
331
00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:04,699
Look, if I don't do something I'm gonna,
332
00:18:04,724 --> 00:18:06,757
end up in that pub every night
for the rest of my life,
333
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:08,679
like those other sad old fuckers
drinking myself to death,
334
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,032
wondering what the hell happened.
335
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,515
What do you mean, do something?
336
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:49,529
Fuck her!
337
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,435
You got your pint.
338
00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:53,074
You got your pig snacks.
339
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:54,712
What more do you want?
340
00:18:57,827 --> 00:18:59,051
Your favourite monkey?
341
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,192
Shall I do Clyde?
342
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,277
See, I knew you'd get over her.
343
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:30,177
Who the hell put this on?
344
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,654
It's on random.
345
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,258
Ah, for fuck's sake.
John, yes, please, mate.
346
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,765
You know what we should do tomorrow?
347
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:43,374
Keep drinking.
348
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:45,276
We'll have a Bloody Mary first thing.
349
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,135
Have a bite at the King's Head,
350
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,817
couple at The Little Princess,
351
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,773
we'll stagger back here and bang,
352
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,483
we're back at the bar for shots.
353
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:54,318
How's that for a slice of fried gold?
354
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,025
No.
Come on, man.
355
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:00,700
Talk to me.
356
00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,706
She said if she stayed with me,
357
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,458
she'd end up coming in here, every night,
358
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:08,212
for the rest of her life, like these sad
old fuckers, drinking herself to death,
359
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,833
wondering what the hell happened.
360
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,220
That is harsh.
361
00:20:11,245 --> 00:20:14,204
These are rich interesting characters.
362
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:15,407
Like who?
363
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:19,675
Snake-hips.
364
00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:22,034
Always surrounded by women.
365
00:20:22,459 --> 00:20:24,147
He's a bigamist.
366
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,701
Strangled his first wife
with a draught excluder.
367
00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,454
And he invented the mobile disco.
368
00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:31,890
Well, what about her, then?
369
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:35,551
Cockacidal maniac.
370
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:40,289
She's an ex-porn star.
She's done it all.
371
00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:43,639
They say she starred in the world's
first interracial hardcore loop.
372
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,791
Café Au Lait.
373
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,376
Pour vous.
374
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,969
Yeah. What about John, then?
375
00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:54,841
He's North London Mafia.
376
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,565
It's true, Big Al says so.
377
00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:01,169
Yeah, well, Big Al also says
dogs can't look up.
378
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:02,904
Think about it.
379
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,243
Handy with a blade.
Gruff demeanour.
380
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,342
Bernie, the trophy wife.
He's connected.
381
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:10,110
Why do you think there's a rifle
above the bar?
382
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:11,954
'Cause the pub's called the Winchester.
383
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:13,526
Exactly.
384
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,609
See, you don't need Liz
to have a good time.
385
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,285
Oh, Ed, don't man.
386
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:20,722
No. Look at me.
387
00:21:21,123 --> 00:21:22,590
Can I just say one more thing?
388
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,068
I'm not gonna say, you know.
389
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,039
There's plenty more fish in the sea.
390
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,071
I'm not gonna say,
if you love her let her go.
391
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:30,452
And I'm not gonna bombard you
with clichés.
392
00:21:30,831 --> 00:21:32,459
But what I will say is this,
393
00:21:34,668 --> 00:21:35,908
it's not the end of the world.
394
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,752
Sorry, we're closed.
395
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,307
Pisshead.
396
00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:55,819
♪
White lines ♪
397
00:21:55,898 --> 00:21:57,491
♪
Visions, dreams of passion ♪
398
00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:59,944
♪
Blowing through my mind ♪
399
00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:01,153
♪
And all the while ♪
400
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:02,238
♪
I think of you. ♪
401
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,373
♪
High... ♪
402
00:22:04,557 --> 00:22:06,210
What's wrong, haven't you had your tea?
403
00:22:08,644 --> 00:22:10,754
♪
Something of a phenomenon, baby ♪
404
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,673
♪
Telling my body to come along ♪
405
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:15,672
♪
'Cause white lines ♪
406
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,594
♪
Blow away... ♪
407
00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:21,014
♪
Blow ♪
408
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:26,020
♪
Get higher, baby ♪
409
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:27,347
♪
Get higher, girl ♪
410
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:39,705
What's he doing?
He should say bass.
411
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,898
Or Freeze.
412
00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:43,621
What a tit.
413
00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:54,782
You wanna dance?
414
00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:04,971
Hey, don't scratch it!
Wait.
415
00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:08,763
That was the second album
I ever bought!
416
00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:11,224
It's 4:00 in the fucking morning!
417
00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:12,399
It's Saturday!
418
00:23:12,474 --> 00:23:14,192
No, it's not.
It's fucking Sunday,
419
00:23:14,268 --> 00:23:16,508
and I've got to go to fucking
work in four fucking hours,
420
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:20,066
because every other fucker in my
fucking department is fucking ill!
421
00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:23,303
Now can you see
why I'm so fucking angry?
422
00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:24,658
Fuck, yeah!
Hey.
423
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,581
Pete, look, I'm...
You know, I'm sorry.
424
00:23:27,656 --> 00:23:29,333
We just...
We've had a couple of drinks.
425
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:31,836
We split up with Liz tonight.
426
00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:34,756
Just keep it down, yeah?
427
00:23:36,582 --> 00:23:37,599
Prick.
428
00:23:39,043 --> 00:23:41,171
What was that?
Nothing.
429
00:23:42,046 --> 00:23:43,423
No, no, no, come on, stop it.
We're friends!
430
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:45,633
He's not my friend.
He's a fucking idiot!
431
00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:46,876
What's that supposed to mean?
432
00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:49,103
It means, why don't you fuck off?
433
00:23:49,178 --> 00:23:50,378
You wanna live like an animal,
434
00:23:50,387 --> 00:23:52,765
go and live in the shed, you thick fuck!
435
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:54,100
Oh, leave him alone!
436
00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:56,031
Stop defending him, Shaun!
437
00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:57,862
All he ever does is hold you back!
438
00:23:58,045 --> 00:23:59,672
Or does it make your life
easier having someone around
439
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:01,804
who's more of a loser than you?
440
00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:03,780
What's that supposed to mean?
441
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,302
You know what I mean.
442
00:24:05,778 --> 00:24:08,131
I assume it was Liz who did the dumping?
443
00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:12,626
Sort your fucking life out, mate!
444
00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:14,954
What's up with your hand, man?
445
00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:17,915
I got mugged on the way home from work.
446
00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:18,999
By who?
447
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:21,077
I don't know, some crack-heads or something.
One of them bit me.
448
00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:22,468
Why did they bite you?
449
00:24:22,544 --> 00:24:24,223
I don't know.
I didn't stop to ask them!
450
00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:27,679
Now, I've got a splitting headache
451
00:24:27,758 --> 00:24:30,137
and your stupid Hip-Hop isn't helping.
452
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:33,097
And the front door is open again!
453
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:35,753
It's not Hip-Hop.
454
00:24:35,978 --> 00:24:37,877
It's Electro. Prick.
455
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:41,180
Next time I see him, he's dead.
456
00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:54,564
Hello, Shaun, it's me.
457
00:24:54,643 --> 00:24:56,511
Look, I'm gonna be a bit tied up today so,
458
00:24:56,612 --> 00:24:59,131
when you book the table, can you
make it 8:00 rather than 7:00?
459
00:24:59,206 --> 00:25:01,384
I'll try you at work.
Bye, bye, bye.
460
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:05,635
Hello, pickle. It's me, Mum.
461
00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:07,556
Dad said he saw you in town today
462
00:25:07,631 --> 00:25:10,259
and mentioned you might be visiting
tomorrow, which would be lovely.
463
00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,633
Will you be bringing Elizabeth
with you this time?
464
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:16,288
Only, we can't wait to meet
her finally and also,
465
00:25:17,813 --> 00:25:20,082
I was wondering if she wanted
anything special for lunch.
466
00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:22,955
'Cause these days
lots of people don't eat meat.
467
00:25:39,246 --> 00:25:40,594
Do you want anything from the shop?
468
00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:42,570
Cornetto.
469
00:26:51,693 --> 00:26:53,437
Nelson, have you got any papers?
470
00:26:55,739 --> 00:27:00,495
Nelson? I haven't even...
I owe you about fifteen p.
471
00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,170
Oh, dear.
472
00:27:38,031 --> 00:27:39,424
Sorry, I haven't got any change.
473
00:27:39,700 --> 00:27:41,844
I didn't even have enough
at the fucking shop, so...
474
00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:43,716
Oh, dear.
475
00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:56,641
Although no-one official
is prepared to comment,
476
00:27:56,717 --> 00:27:58,782
religious groups are calling it Judgement Day.
477
00:27:58,807 --> 00:27:59,494
There's...
478
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:02,272
panic on the streets of London...
479
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:04,691
as an increasing number of reports of...
480
00:28:04,766 --> 00:28:06,188
serious attacks on...
481
00:28:06,268 --> 00:28:07,736
people, who are literally being...
482
00:28:07,811 --> 00:28:08,983
eaten alive.
483
00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:11,235
Eyewitness reports are sketchy.
484
00:28:11,315 --> 00:28:13,409
One unifying detail seems to be
485
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:16,362
that the attackers in many
instances, appear to be...
486
00:28:16,445 --> 00:28:17,742
dead excited to have with us here,
487
00:28:17,821 --> 00:28:19,949
a sensational chart-topping...
488
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:24,162
or ideological connection between
those committing the atrocities,
489
00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:25,837
and perhaps, more alarmingly...
490
00:28:25,913 --> 00:28:28,792
There's a girl in the garden.
their behaviour.
491
00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:30,296
What?
492
00:28:31,793 --> 00:28:33,420
In the garden, there is a girl.
493
00:28:33,503 --> 00:28:35,551
The armed forces will be called in
494
00:28:35,631 --> 00:28:37,454
to provide back-up and assistance.
495
00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:40,556
Scientists are still trying to establish
496
00:28:40,636 --> 00:28:43,480
the cause and nature
of the phenomenon.
497
00:28:46,767 --> 00:28:47,910
Excuse me.
498
00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:52,894
Excuse me.
499
00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:57,348
Hello.
500
00:29:02,157 --> 00:29:03,875
What are you doing?
501
00:29:23,011 --> 00:29:24,313
Oh, my God.
502
00:29:27,015 --> 00:29:28,408
She's so drunk.
503
00:29:32,646 --> 00:29:33,669
How much have you had, love?
504
00:29:34,648 --> 00:29:36,195
Oh, I think she likes you.
505
00:29:36,275 --> 00:29:37,276
Shut up.
506
00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:38,452
I think she wants a cuddle.
507
00:29:39,027 --> 00:29:41,308
Listen, I'm serious.
I've just come out of a relationship.
508
00:29:43,073 --> 00:29:44,821
Ed, do something.
Wait there.
509
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,647
Ed!
Two seconds.
510
00:29:46,827 --> 00:29:49,506
Jeez, look, I'm really flattered and
everything, really, but I just...
511
00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:53,234
And hold it there.
512
00:29:54,209 --> 00:29:57,383
Ed, just get her off me!
Jesus!
513
00:29:59,631 --> 00:30:01,505
What's up with her eyes?
What's up with her eyes?
514
00:30:01,583 --> 00:30:02,790
Now seriously...
515
00:30:03,315 --> 00:30:05,177
Mary, I'm warning you, okay.
516
00:30:05,429 --> 00:30:06,873
I'm gonna have to get physical.
I mean it!
517
00:30:07,848 --> 00:30:09,167
This is it. I'm gonna...
518
00:30:09,292 --> 00:30:10,391
Look, just fuck off!
519
00:30:44,426 --> 00:30:45,899
I think we should go back inside.
520
00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:47,195
Okay.
521
00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:56,946
Shaun, what's going on?
522
00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:58,424
Shit, it's engaged.
523
00:30:59,107 --> 00:31:00,324
How about an ambulance?
524
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:01,647
It's engaged, Ed.
525
00:31:03,236 --> 00:31:04,353
Fire engine?
526
00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:06,702
It's one number, Ed, and it's busy. Okay?
527
00:31:06,782 --> 00:31:08,605
What do you want a fire engine for, anyway?
528
00:31:08,784 --> 00:31:10,507
Anything with flashing lights, you know.
529
00:31:11,286 --> 00:31:13,004
Are they still out there?
530
00:31:20,220 --> 00:31:22,614
Yeah. What do you think we should do?
531
00:31:24,174 --> 00:31:25,521
Have a sit down?
532
00:31:25,801 --> 00:31:28,554
There are reports
of chaos on the motorways
533
00:31:28,637 --> 00:31:31,686
as thousands of people attempt
to flee the cities.
534
00:31:31,765 --> 00:31:35,395
The M1, the M3, M4, M6...
535
00:31:35,477 --> 00:31:36,899
Do you think this is the same thing?
536
00:31:36,978 --> 00:31:40,173
And M68 are all at a standstill.
537
00:31:40,649 --> 00:31:42,617
The Home Office has issued a statement
538
00:31:42,692 --> 00:31:44,945
urging people to stay in their homes
539
00:31:45,028 --> 00:31:46,621
and await further instruction.
540
00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:49,449
Ensure all residences are secure
541
00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:53,262
with all doors and windows
firmly locked and barricaded.
542
00:31:53,487 --> 00:31:54,729
Police...
543
00:31:56,665 --> 00:31:58,087
Fucking hell!
544
00:31:58,166 --> 00:32:00,544
Oh, for God's sake.
Oh, he's got an arm off!
545
00:32:00,627 --> 00:32:01,895
Get him!
546
00:32:15,142 --> 00:32:18,396
More reports just in confirm
that in all cases
547
00:32:18,478 --> 00:32:21,322
the attackers seem slow and shambolic.
548
00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:23,404
I'm gonna shut the front door.
549
00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:25,281
Receive information
from the Home Office,
550
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,955
regarding the best way
to neutralize the attackers.
551
00:32:29,030 --> 00:32:33,827
In the meantime, contact with these
assailants is highly inadvisable.
552
00:32:34,202 --> 00:32:35,294
Did you see his head go?
553
00:32:35,370 --> 00:32:36,371
If you're confronted
554
00:32:36,455 --> 00:32:37,855
and have the opportunity to escape,
555
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,008
it is suggested that you do so
as quickly as possible.
556
00:32:41,084 --> 00:32:42,085
We should get out there.
557
00:32:42,169 --> 00:32:43,716
No, no, no, no, we should stay inside.
558
00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:45,138
Come on, we can take them.
559
00:32:45,213 --> 00:32:46,305
But the man said to stay indoors.
560
00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:47,507
Oh, fuck the man.
561
00:32:47,591 --> 00:32:48,638
Look, as long as they're out there
562
00:32:48,717 --> 00:32:50,119
and we're in here, we're safe.
563
00:32:51,386 --> 00:32:52,854
Officials suggest that
in extreme circumstances,
564
00:32:52,929 --> 00:32:54,647
the attackers can be stopped
565
00:32:54,723 --> 00:32:58,193
by removing the head
or destroying the brain.
566
00:32:58,268 --> 00:33:04,071
I'll repeat that, by removing the
head or destroying the brain.
567
00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:10,956
Hey.
568
00:33:14,910 --> 00:33:16,137
Aim for the head.
569
00:33:35,222 --> 00:33:37,520
Well, now what?
We'll have to get more stuff.
570
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:39,351
What's in the shed?
I don't know. It's locked.
571
00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:40,981
Why is it locked?
It's always been locked.
572
00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:42,105
Well, you know, we're gonna...
573
00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:47,613
No, no, that's the second
album I ever bought! Don't!
574
00:33:54,241 --> 00:33:55,709
Now, some of these are limited...
575
00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:57,252
What was that?
576
00:33:57,327 --> 00:33:58,624
I think it was Blue Monday.
577
00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:00,330
Man, that was an original pressing.
578
00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:01,515
Oh, for fuck's sake.
579
00:34:03,291 --> 00:34:04,383
Purple Rain?
No.
580
00:34:04,459 --> 00:34:05,631
Sign O' The Times?
Definitely not.
581
00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:07,383
The Batman soundtrack?
Throw it.
582
00:34:10,632 --> 00:34:12,635
Okay. Oh, Dire Straits?
Throw it.
583
00:34:17,639 --> 00:34:19,233
The Stone Roses?
No.
584
00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:21,210
Second Coming?
I like it.
585
00:34:22,811 --> 00:34:24,404
Sade?
That's Liz's.
586
00:34:24,479 --> 00:34:25,707
Yeah, but she did dump you.
587
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,158
Oh, fuck this. I'm going to the shed.
588
00:34:29,234 --> 00:34:30,582
I thought you said it was locked.
589
00:34:41,630 --> 00:34:43,006
Which one do you want?
Girl or bloke?
590
00:34:44,165 --> 00:34:45,212
The first one.
591
00:35:04,352 --> 00:35:06,480
In all cases, people receiving bites
592
00:35:06,563 --> 00:35:08,861
have experienced headaches and nausea,
593
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,034
and developed symptoms
similar to those displayed...
594
00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:12,782
You've got red on you.
by their attackers.
595
00:35:12,861 --> 00:35:15,159
If you know someone
who has been bitten,
596
00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:17,115
it is absolutely essential
597
00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:19,246
that you isolate them immediately.
598
00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:24,264
The public are being strongly
advised not to approach anyone...
599
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:25,691
Pete?
600
00:35:28,418 --> 00:35:29,640
Pete?
601
00:35:29,919 --> 00:35:32,547
Why don't we just go up?
Oh, no, don't go up there.
602
00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:35,350
Why not?
Because A, he might be one of them.
603
00:35:35,425 --> 00:35:37,503
And B, he might still be annoyed.
604
00:35:38,887 --> 00:35:40,059
Pete?
605
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:42,891
Maybe he went in to work.
606
00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:44,230
How come he didn't drive?
607
00:35:44,555 --> 00:35:46,172
His keys are still here.
608
00:35:46,227 --> 00:35:47,353
Well, maybe he got a lift.
609
00:35:47,437 --> 00:35:48,864
He said he wasn't feeling very well.
610
00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:50,420
Pete?
611
00:35:50,899 --> 00:35:52,071
Prick!
612
00:35:53,902 --> 00:35:55,175
He's not in.
613
00:35:56,237 --> 00:35:57,254
You got a fag?
614
00:35:57,279 --> 00:35:58,530
No, I've given up.
615
00:35:58,782 --> 00:36:00,350
Since when?
Since...
616
00:36:03,745 --> 00:36:04,936
Come on, babe.
617
00:36:05,661 --> 00:36:06,848
Oh, she's engaged.
618
00:36:07,207 --> 00:36:08,767
That was quick.
Ed, this is serious!
619
00:36:09,918 --> 00:36:11,386
Liz!
Shaun.
620
00:36:11,410 --> 00:36:14,240
Mum! Hi. I was gonna call you.
Are you okay?
621
00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:16,316
Yes.
Yeah, well, are you sure?
622
00:36:16,591 --> 00:36:18,614
Some men tried to get into the house.
623
00:36:19,094 --> 00:36:20,687
Well, are they still there?
624
00:36:20,762 --> 00:36:23,015
I'm not sure.
We've shut the curtains.
625
00:36:23,098 --> 00:36:24,520
Well, did you try the police?
626
00:36:24,599 --> 00:36:26,727
Well, I thought about it.
627
00:36:26,810 --> 00:36:28,290
Well, are you okay?
Did they hurt you?
628
00:36:28,353 --> 00:36:30,622
No, I'm fine, I'm fine.
629
00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:34,902
Mum?
Well, they were a bit bitey.
630
00:36:36,861 --> 00:36:38,408
Mum, have you been bitten?
631
00:36:38,488 --> 00:36:40,741
No, but Philip has.
632
00:36:40,824 --> 00:36:41,871
Oh, okay.
633
00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:43,577
Has she been bitten?
No, Philip has.
634
00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:45,708
Oh, okay.
Listen, Mum, what sort of state is he in?
635
00:36:45,787 --> 00:36:48,832
Oh, he's fine.
Bit under the weather.
636
00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:50,680
I see.
What's the deal?
637
00:36:50,959 --> 00:36:52,256
We may have to kill my stepdad.
638
00:36:52,335 --> 00:36:53,336
Listen, Mum, sit tight, okay?
639
00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:55,172
You're not safe there.
We're coming over.
640
00:36:55,255 --> 00:36:56,848
I don't want to cause a fuss.
641
00:36:56,923 --> 00:36:58,471
We're coming to get you, Barbara!
642
00:37:00,802 --> 00:37:02,645
So, what's the plan?
643
00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:05,472
Right.
644
00:37:07,142 --> 00:37:09,846
We take Pete's car,
we drive over to Mum's.
645
00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:11,280
We go in.
646
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,484
We take care of Philip.
I'm so sorry, Philip.
647
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:18,166
Then we grab Mum.
We go over to Liz's place.
648
00:37:18,445 --> 00:37:20,197
Hole up, have a cup of tea.
649
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:22,408
And wait for all this
to blow over.
650
00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:25,119
Why have we got to go to Liz's?
651
00:37:25,201 --> 00:37:26,293
Because we do.
652
00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:27,586
She dumped you!
653
00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:29,114
I have to know if she's all right.
654
00:37:29,497 --> 00:37:31,616
Why?
Because I love her!
655
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:36,805
All right, gay.
I'm not staying there though.
656
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:37,927
Why not?
657
00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:40,384
If we hole up, I want to be
somewhere familiar.
658
00:37:40,467 --> 00:37:41,935
I want to know where the exits are,
659
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:43,529
and I wanna be allowed to smoke.
660
00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:45,804
Okay.
661
00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:50,007
Take Pete's car,
go round Mum's. Go in.
662
00:37:50,685 --> 00:37:52,358
Deal with Philip.
Sorry, Philip.
663
00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:55,366
Grab Mum, go to Liz's,
pick her up,
664
00:37:55,391 --> 00:37:56,807
bring her back here,
665
00:37:56,858 --> 00:37:59,828
have a cup of tea, and wait
for all this to blow over.
666
00:38:00,528 --> 00:38:01,796
Perfick.
667
00:38:02,071 --> 00:38:04,875
No, no, no, no, no, wait,
we can't bring them back here.
668
00:38:05,158 --> 00:38:07,206
Why not?
Well, it's not exactly safe, is it?
669
00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:09,708
Yeah. Look at the state of it.
670
00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:13,550
Where's safe?
Where's familiar?
671
00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:15,210
Where can I smoke?
672
00:38:20,381 --> 00:38:22,349
Take car, go to Mum's.
673
00:38:22,425 --> 00:38:23,747
Kill Phil.
Sorry.
674
00:38:23,927 --> 00:38:26,305
Grab Liz, go to the Winchester,
675
00:38:26,387 --> 00:38:29,737
have a nice cold pint, and wait
for all this to blow over.
676
00:38:31,893 --> 00:38:33,921
How's that for a slice of fried gold?
677
00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:35,746
Yeah, boy!
678
00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:39,151
To recap, it is vital that
you stay in your homes.
679
00:38:39,234 --> 00:38:41,828
Make no attempt to reach loved ones
680
00:38:41,903 --> 00:38:45,328
and avoid all physical contact
with the assailants.
681
00:38:45,406 --> 00:38:47,309
Do you believe everything
you hear on TV?
682
00:38:50,245 --> 00:38:52,714
Yeah, I can see it, I can see it.
It's just outside.
683
00:38:52,789 --> 00:38:54,166
Any zombies out there?
684
00:38:55,625 --> 00:38:57,373
Don't say that.
What?
685
00:38:57,752 --> 00:38:59,395
That.
What?
686
00:38:59,671 --> 00:39:02,140
That. The Z word.
Don't say it.
687
00:39:02,215 --> 00:39:04,609
Why not?
Because it's ridiculous.
688
00:39:04,884 --> 00:39:06,056
All right.
689
00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:08,864
Are there any out there, though?
690
00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:11,289
Can't see any.
691
00:39:11,414 --> 00:39:12,989
Maybe it's not as bad as all that.
692
00:39:13,643 --> 00:39:15,520
Oh, no, there they are.
693
00:39:17,939 --> 00:39:19,111
Okay, let's do this, yeah?
694
00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:20,282
Yeah? Yeah?
Yeah? Yeah?
695
00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:22,106
Yeah?
I got to do a wee first.
696
00:39:23,069 --> 00:39:24,992
Can I drive?
697
00:39:25,572 --> 00:39:27,500
What?
I've always wanted to drive Pete's car.
698
00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:29,435
I might not get another chance.
699
00:39:30,060 --> 00:39:30,810
Okay.
700
00:40:04,986 --> 00:40:06,521
Oh, God. Sorry, Pete...
701
00:40:07,246 --> 00:40:09,581
Listen, we're gonna borrow your car, okay?
702
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:12,151
We'll bring it back.
703
00:40:12,476 --> 00:40:15,170
And if you're feeling better later we're...
704
00:40:15,622 --> 00:40:16,669
We're going to the pub.
705
00:40:16,748 --> 00:40:18,642
So, you're more than welcome to...
706
00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:22,304
join us.
707
00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:33,105
Pete'd be so pissed off if he
knew I was driving his car, eh?
708
00:40:33,181 --> 00:40:34,483
I don't think so.
709
00:40:36,517 --> 00:40:39,066
Shaun, Shaun, which button's central locking?
710
00:40:45,860 --> 00:40:46,986
Cock it!
711
00:40:48,196 --> 00:40:49,493
Get lost!
712
00:41:04,379 --> 00:41:05,551
Drive.
713
00:41:07,757 --> 00:41:08,758
The Church of England
714
00:41:08,841 --> 00:41:11,811
has now joined other
extremist religious groups
715
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:13,308
in proclaiming the phenomenon,
716
00:41:13,388 --> 00:41:14,810
a sign of a coming apocalypse...
717
00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:16,141
Dad.
718
00:41:16,224 --> 00:41:19,524
Although Downing Street is refusing
to be drawn into a religious debate.
719
00:41:19,602 --> 00:41:23,573
Once again, the bodies of the recently
deceased are returning to life
720
00:41:23,648 --> 00:41:25,321
and attacking the living.
721
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,118
There is no indication as to...
Let's put something else on.
722
00:41:27,235 --> 00:41:29,033
How or indeed why...
723
00:41:29,112 --> 00:41:30,489
What are you doing?
What?
724
00:41:30,571 --> 00:41:32,073
Ed, look out!
725
00:41:36,244 --> 00:41:37,696
I think we hit something.
726
00:41:40,456 --> 00:41:41,833
Or someone.
727
00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:53,561
Are you all right?
728
00:41:54,721 --> 00:41:56,598
Come on, let's just go.
729
00:41:57,807 --> 00:41:58,854
Hello?
730
00:41:58,933 --> 00:42:01,012
He's gonna be dead either way.
Ed, that's not the point.
731
00:42:08,234 --> 00:42:09,406
Oh, thank God for that.
732
00:42:14,741 --> 00:42:15,959
Ah, hello.
733
00:42:17,684 --> 00:42:19,071
Who's a pretty boy, then?
734
00:42:23,291 --> 00:42:24,759
You didn't tell me Barbara had a Jag.
735
00:42:24,834 --> 00:42:26,594
Oh, I've always wanted
to drive one of those.
736
00:42:26,627 --> 00:42:27,719
Yeah, well, it's Philip's, okay?
737
00:42:27,795 --> 00:42:28,842
And he won't let anybody near it.
738
00:42:28,921 --> 00:42:30,423
Honestly, I put half a Mars
Bar in the glove box once,
739
00:42:30,506 --> 00:42:32,099
and he chased me round the
garden with a bit of wood.
740
00:42:32,175 --> 00:42:34,069
Fuck, it's gorgeous.
741
00:42:34,343 --> 00:42:36,246
Okay, well, it seems pretty clear,
we should go.
742
00:42:36,929 --> 00:42:39,078
Why don't I stay here?
743
00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:41,359
What, what, what, what, what?
744
00:42:41,642 --> 00:42:43,690
You know, just look after the car.
745
00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:44,813
If there's any problems...
746
00:42:45,138 --> 00:42:46,238
I'll honk three times.
747
00:42:47,982 --> 00:42:49,054
Okay.
748
00:42:53,654 --> 00:42:55,327
Don't forget to kill Philip!
What?
749
00:42:57,241 --> 00:42:58,935
Hello, pickle.
Hi, Mum.
750
00:43:00,161 --> 00:43:02,505
Oh, you've got red on you.
Yeah.
751
00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:04,924
Look, Mum, is everything okay?
Are you all right?
752
00:43:04,999 --> 00:43:07,048
Yes, I'm fine.
Where's Philip?
753
00:43:07,627 --> 00:43:09,504
Dad's in the lounge.
He's not my dad.
754
00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:10,930
Oh, Shaun, really.
755
00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:12,803
Sorry. Mum, look, I've got Ed outside.
756
00:43:12,882 --> 00:43:13,929
We're gonna take you somewhere safe.
757
00:43:14,008 --> 00:43:15,368
But we have to wait for the doctor.
758
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:16,678
Mum, I don't think
the doctor's gonna come.
759
00:43:16,761 --> 00:43:18,684
I don't think Philip's going to want
to leave the house, darling.
760
00:43:18,763 --> 00:43:20,161
Mum, Philip isn't...
761
00:43:21,182 --> 00:43:23,635
Put the kettle on, and I'll deal with Philip.
762
00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:25,170
Okay.
Okay, then.
763
00:43:25,853 --> 00:43:27,605
Are you hungry?
Yeah. No, not really!
764
00:43:27,688 --> 00:43:29,511
I'll make some sandwiches.
Okay.
765
00:43:31,275 --> 00:43:33,073
No fighting, you two.
766
00:43:34,362 --> 00:43:38,037
You may ask "Where is our God?"
767
00:43:38,783 --> 00:43:40,205
But throughout the land,
768
00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:45,541
men and women of integrity rise
up to confront the unseen enemy.
769
00:43:47,083 --> 00:43:52,214
They will not be cowards, they will
be courageous in the face of danger.
770
00:43:59,053 --> 00:44:00,225
I'm so sorry, Philip.
771
00:44:00,226 --> 00:44:01,768
Why?
772
00:44:01,848 --> 00:44:03,395
What have you done now?
773
00:44:03,474 --> 00:44:05,317
Nothing.
What have you got there?
774
00:44:05,393 --> 00:44:06,815
Flowers, I hope.
775
00:44:06,894 --> 00:44:08,988
No, it's... Cricket bat.
776
00:44:09,063 --> 00:44:10,781
Oh, is that for the jumble, Shaun?
777
00:44:11,057 --> 00:44:12,057
No. Yes.
778
00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:14,236
There's a box of your toys upstairs.
779
00:44:14,318 --> 00:44:15,991
I was going to give them to the jumble.
780
00:44:16,070 --> 00:44:18,038
I took them all to the tip, Barbara.
781
00:44:18,114 --> 00:44:20,583
Oh, what?
Shaun wants to take us somewhere.
782
00:44:20,658 --> 00:44:22,501
Don't be silly.
I'm not going anywhere.
783
00:44:22,577 --> 00:44:23,857
Well, maybe you should stay here.
784
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:25,292
You know, wait for the doctor,
and I'll take Mum.
785
00:44:25,371 --> 00:44:26,851
But you said the doctor wasn't coming.
786
00:44:26,873 --> 00:44:28,625
You didn't call the doctor, did you?
787
00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:30,335
Well, I thought we ought
to be on the safe side.
788
00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:31,965
I'm quite all right, Barbara.
789
00:44:32,044 --> 00:44:34,513
I ran it under a cold tap.
I really think...
790
00:44:34,589 --> 00:44:36,933
We had our jabs when we
went to the Isle of Wight.
791
00:44:37,049 --> 00:44:39,472
But, Philip...
It's a lot of overblown nonsense.
792
00:44:39,635 --> 00:44:41,512
A lot of drug nuts running wild.
793
00:44:41,596 --> 00:44:43,018
Still, I should get Mum away,
you know,
794
00:44:43,097 --> 00:44:44,098
just 'cause, in case they come back.
795
00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:45,775
I'm not going anywhere without Philip.
796
00:44:45,850 --> 00:44:49,070
Mum, look, how about that tea?
797
00:44:50,396 --> 00:44:54,372
Mum? How much do you love Philip?
798
00:44:54,650 --> 00:44:55,742
Two sugars, is it?
799
00:44:55,818 --> 00:44:57,912
I haven't had sugar in my tea since 1982.
800
00:44:57,987 --> 00:44:59,364
Oh, yes.
801
00:44:59,447 --> 00:45:01,541
Will you cut me some bread, love?
802
00:45:01,616 --> 00:45:03,914
Mum, look, how much do you love Philip?
803
00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:06,166
Oh, Shaun, do we have to
go through all that again?
804
00:45:06,245 --> 00:45:07,542
Mum, look, what would you say
805
00:45:07,622 --> 00:45:08,902
if I told you that over the years
806
00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:10,378
Philip's been quite unkind to me?
807
00:45:10,458 --> 00:45:12,381
Well, you weren't always the
easiest person to live with.
808
00:45:12,460 --> 00:45:14,258
Mum, he chased me around
the garden with a bit of wood!
809
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:16,214
Well, you did call him a you know what.
810
00:45:16,297 --> 00:45:17,890
Oh, what, did he tell you that?
Yes, he did.
811
00:45:17,965 --> 00:45:19,217
Motherfucker.
Shaun.
812
00:45:19,300 --> 00:45:20,723
Sorry, Mother, Mum.
813
00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:22,316
Mum,
814
00:45:22,641 --> 00:45:26,283
did you know that on several
occasions he touched me?
815
00:45:31,979 --> 00:45:34,778
That wasn't true. Made it up,
shouldn't have done, sorry.
816
00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:36,029
Mum, you don't understand, okay...
817
00:45:36,108 --> 00:45:37,548
No, it's you that doesn't understand.
818
00:45:37,610 --> 00:45:40,113
Philip is my husband and has
been for the last 17 years.
819
00:45:40,196 --> 00:45:42,574
I know you haven't always seen eye to eye,
820
00:45:42,657 --> 00:45:46,252
but I would at least, expect
you to respect my feelings.
821
00:45:46,327 --> 00:45:47,874
You must be more adult
about these things.
822
00:45:47,954 --> 00:45:52,084
Yeah, come on, Shaun.
823
00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:59,050
There comes a time when
you just got to be a man.
824
00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:09,810
I'm telling you, it's a fuss over nothing.
825
00:46:10,685 --> 00:46:12,687
Hello, Edward.
Hi, Barbara.
826
00:46:12,770 --> 00:46:15,444
My, how you've grown.
Yeah, you better believe it.
827
00:46:15,523 --> 00:46:17,371
What happened?
Why is he coming?
828
00:46:17,650 --> 00:46:18,993
It wasn't as easy as all that.
829
00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:20,908
God's sake.
So, we're following you, are we?
830
00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:24,366
No, it's probably best if we...
Where's the car?
831
00:46:26,909 --> 00:46:28,786
I pranged it.
832
00:46:28,869 --> 00:46:30,166
You were parked!
833
00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:31,263
Yeah.
834
00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:34,546
I guess we'll have to take the Jag.
835
00:46:36,544 --> 00:46:38,342
Philip...
What?
836
00:46:38,421 --> 00:46:39,889
Look out!
837
00:46:42,091 --> 00:46:43,434
Christ!
838
00:46:44,969 --> 00:46:46,141
Jesus!
839
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:52,760
Philip, give me the car keys!
840
00:46:52,768 --> 00:46:53,894
You're not driving that car.
841
00:46:53,978 --> 00:46:57,027
Philip! Give me the car keys!
842
00:46:57,106 --> 00:46:58,608
Ed, get Mum in the car.
843
00:46:58,691 --> 00:46:59,863
I'm on it.
844
00:47:00,860 --> 00:47:02,658
Come on.
No, don't worry about me.
845
00:47:02,737 --> 00:47:04,410
Worry about your mother.
846
00:47:04,864 --> 00:47:06,161
Ed, maybe I should drive.
847
00:47:06,240 --> 00:47:08,117
Man, I've adjusted the seat now.
848
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,549
All right, well, just,
you know, be careful!...
849
00:47:21,088 --> 00:47:24,217
Can you please turn that noise down?
850
00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:28,555
Are you all right, dear?
Would you like another tissue?
851
00:47:28,637 --> 00:47:31,732
I'd be fine, if it weren't for that bloody racket!
852
00:47:31,807 --> 00:47:34,526
It is a bit loud.
Sorry, Barbara.
853
00:47:36,604 --> 00:47:39,403
You do realize this is
a 20 mile an hour zone.
854
00:47:39,482 --> 00:47:40,579
Oh, yeah.
855
00:47:44,111 --> 00:47:45,112
Here.
856
00:47:45,196 --> 00:47:47,475
Okay, Mum, this isn't gonna
take a second, all right?
857
00:47:50,284 --> 00:47:51,786
Philip, have you still got the child locks on?
858
00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:53,621
Safety first, Shaun.
859
00:47:54,747 --> 00:47:56,249
You can't...
860
00:47:58,292 --> 00:48:01,296
Hey, man, watch the leather.
861
00:48:03,089 --> 00:48:05,467
Listen, okay, keep moving.
If there's any problems...
862
00:48:05,549 --> 00:48:07,426
Yeah, yeah, I'll do the honks.
863
00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:33,953
Hello?
864
00:48:36,455 --> 00:48:37,957
Hello?
865
00:49:00,521 --> 00:49:02,194
Guys, can you let me in, please?
866
00:49:02,273 --> 00:49:04,417
What are you doing?
I've come to get you.
867
00:49:18,122 --> 00:49:19,399
Sorry, what are you doing?
868
00:49:19,582 --> 00:49:20,799
I've come to take you somewhere safe.
869
00:49:20,875 --> 00:49:23,094
We were perfectly safe before you arrived.
870
00:49:23,169 --> 00:49:24,216
You don't know that.
871
00:49:24,295 --> 00:49:25,638
Well, there was two of them
out there a minute ago.
872
00:49:25,713 --> 00:49:27,511
How many are there now?
873
00:49:27,590 --> 00:49:28,933
Lots!
Lots.
874
00:49:29,008 --> 00:49:31,807
Look, believe me, it only takes one
of them to know you're in here.
875
00:49:31,886 --> 00:49:34,014
Listen, I tried calling, I really did,
but I couldn't get through.
876
00:49:34,096 --> 00:49:35,313
I had to come up with a plan.
877
00:49:35,389 --> 00:49:36,515
Oh, you made a plan.
878
00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:38,146
Look, I don't care what the telly says, all right,
879
00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:39,397
we have to get out of here.
880
00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:41,821
If we don't, they'll come up here
and they'll tear us to pieces.
881
00:49:41,896 --> 00:49:44,490
And that is really gonna
exacerbate things for all of us.
882
00:49:44,565 --> 00:49:46,317
Shaun...
Look, Liz,
883
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,323
this is not about you and me, all right?
884
00:49:48,402 --> 00:49:49,745
This is about survival.
885
00:49:49,820 --> 00:49:51,743
We need to be somewhere more
secure, somewhere on the ground,
886
00:49:51,822 --> 00:49:53,599
somewhere we can stay alive.
887
00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:55,910
We're with you, Shaun.
What?
888
00:49:55,993 --> 00:49:57,370
We're with you.
889
00:49:57,453 --> 00:49:58,921
I'm not going out there.
890
00:49:58,996 --> 00:50:01,090
Daffs! I don't want to be torn to pieces,
891
00:50:01,165 --> 00:50:03,509
and I'm sure if you really think
about it, neither do you.
892
00:50:03,584 --> 00:50:04,756
I'm not going if Liz is not going.
893
00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:06,007
Of course she's going.
894
00:50:06,086 --> 00:50:07,526
Well, I'm not staying here
by myself.
895
00:50:07,546 --> 00:50:08,946
You're going, aren't you, Elizabeth?
896
00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:11,008
Lizzie?
Liz?
897
00:50:15,888 --> 00:50:17,665
All right, Flash, what do you have in mind?
898
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:19,896
Great, okay, I've got a car outside,
899
00:50:19,975 --> 00:50:21,648
but it's gonna be a bit cramped now.
900
00:50:21,727 --> 00:50:23,821
So, has anyone got transport?
Yes, yes.
901
00:50:23,938 --> 00:50:26,612
Great. Where?
Oh, no. Well, I've passed my test.
902
00:50:28,108 --> 00:50:29,109
David?
903
00:50:29,193 --> 00:50:31,246
I don't see the point
of owning a car in London.
904
00:50:32,613 --> 00:50:35,287
Look, okay, just get any blunt
objects together, all right?
905
00:50:35,366 --> 00:50:38,040
If you get cornered, bash them
in the head, that seems to work.
906
00:50:38,118 --> 00:50:40,262
Keep together, stay sharp and follow me.
907
00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:43,361
So, what...
What's the plan, then?
908
00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:45,464
We're going to the Winchester.
909
00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:51,757
Okay? Let's go.
910
00:51:07,773 --> 00:51:09,617
Come on.
Where's the car?
911
00:51:14,613 --> 00:51:15,986
What's up, niggaz?
912
00:51:21,662 --> 00:51:23,414
Okay, apologies for the cramped
conditions, everybody, okay?
913
00:51:23,497 --> 00:51:24,794
Di, stay on David's lap?
914
00:51:24,873 --> 00:51:26,500
Okay.
Philip, hang in there, okay?
915
00:51:26,584 --> 00:51:28,461
Ed, get there fast, yeah?
Yeah.
916
00:51:28,544 --> 00:51:30,967
And, Mum, this is Liz.
Liz, Mum.
917
00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:32,143
Hello.
Hello.
918
00:51:39,054 --> 00:51:40,101
Ed.
Shaun.
919
00:51:40,180 --> 00:51:41,853
I know. Ed, be careful.
920
00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:43,354
Is your dad all right?
He's not my dad.
921
00:51:43,475 --> 00:51:45,898
He's bleeding.
Yeah, I know. Ed, just be careful!
922
00:51:45,978 --> 00:51:47,622
Thought you wanted to get there fast?
923
00:51:49,898 --> 00:51:51,618
I just want to get there in one piece, okay?
924
00:51:51,692 --> 00:51:52,852
And why are we going this way?
925
00:51:52,860 --> 00:51:54,362
Chill out, it's a shortcut.
926
00:51:54,445 --> 00:51:55,822
But that road goes straight
to the Winchester.
927
00:51:55,946 --> 00:51:56,947
Shaun.
928
00:51:57,031 --> 00:51:59,159
Look, I know. Liz, please!
929
00:51:59,241 --> 00:52:00,788
I still don't actually understand
930
00:52:00,868 --> 00:52:02,290
why we are going to the Winchester.
931
00:52:02,369 --> 00:52:04,622
Because it's a pub, it's safe, it's secure.
932
00:52:04,705 --> 00:52:06,628
They know us there.
What makes it so secure?
933
00:52:06,707 --> 00:52:09,587
Because it's got big heavy doors and
deadbolts. You've been to a lock in.
934
00:52:09,668 --> 00:52:11,136
Several.
And there's a rifle above the bar.
935
00:52:11,211 --> 00:52:13,555
I would think that's deactivated.
Surely.
936
00:52:13,631 --> 00:52:14,824
It's not. I'm telling you.
937
00:52:14,849 --> 00:52:16,454
John's connected.
Big Al says so.
938
00:52:16,508 --> 00:52:18,431
Yeah, well, Big Al also says
dogs can't look up!
939
00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:19,636
They can't.
Can't they?
940
00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:21,222
No, they can't!
Of course they can!
941
00:52:21,223 --> 00:52:23,974
Are you sure? I...
Yes, look, the pub is the right place to go.
942
00:52:24,058 --> 00:52:25,935
Okay?
Everything is gonna be fine, I promise.
943
00:52:26,018 --> 00:52:27,895
Shaun?
I turned it off, all right?
944
00:52:27,978 --> 00:52:29,652
It's not easy.
What?
945
00:52:30,731 --> 00:52:33,325
Being a father, it's not easy.
946
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:34,447
What?
947
00:52:34,526 --> 00:52:36,949
You were 12 when I met you.
948
00:52:37,029 --> 00:52:39,373
You'd already grown up so much.
949
00:52:39,448 --> 00:52:41,416
I just wanted you to be strong
950
00:52:41,492 --> 00:52:44,587
and not give up because you lost your dad.
951
00:52:45,746 --> 00:52:47,339
Philip you don't have to explain, you know.
952
00:52:47,414 --> 00:52:48,478
No, I do.
953
00:52:48,503 --> 00:52:51,393
I always loved you, Shaun.
954
00:52:51,752 --> 00:52:56,409
I always thought you had
it in you to do well.
955
00:52:57,591 --> 00:53:00,595
And you just need motivation.
956
00:53:00,678 --> 00:53:03,573
Somebody to look up to, and...
957
00:53:06,100 --> 00:53:08,148
I thought it could be me.
958
00:53:10,104 --> 00:53:13,434
Would you just take care of your mum?
959
00:53:16,485 --> 00:53:18,362
There's a good boy.
960
00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:23,542
Ed, can you pull over?
961
00:53:23,617 --> 00:53:24,709
Two seconds.
962
00:53:27,538 --> 00:53:29,506
Ed, please pull over.
What for?
963
00:53:29,581 --> 00:53:31,800
Ed, just pull over!
All right.
964
00:53:38,465 --> 00:53:39,557
Whoa, mama!
965
00:53:39,633 --> 00:53:41,055
Christ! What the hell
do you think you're doing?
966
00:53:41,135 --> 00:53:42,728
Chill out. Everyone's all right.
967
00:53:42,803 --> 00:53:45,647
Stop telling me to chill out!
968
00:53:46,765 --> 00:53:49,005
And no, for your information,
everybody is not all right.
969
00:53:49,017 --> 00:53:50,035
What's wrong?
970
00:53:50,811 --> 00:53:52,609
Mum, it's Philip, he's gone.
971
00:53:52,688 --> 00:53:53,915
Where's he gone?
972
00:53:54,398 --> 00:53:55,771
Mum, he's dead.
973
00:53:56,150 --> 00:53:57,572
No, he isn't.
974
00:53:59,069 --> 00:54:01,572
Get out! Get out!
975
00:54:01,905 --> 00:54:04,909
Oh, Jesus! Fuck, fuck.
976
00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:06,494
It won't open! It won't open!
977
00:54:06,577 --> 00:54:07,829
Ed, get the child locks!
978
00:54:07,911 --> 00:54:10,039
Come on, quick, come on.
979
00:54:10,164 --> 00:54:12,132
It won't open.
980
00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:14,835
Ed!
981
00:54:34,021 --> 00:54:35,898
Now what?
We've got to keep moving.
982
00:54:36,023 --> 00:54:37,570
How do we get Philip out the car?
We haven't got time.
983
00:54:37,649 --> 00:54:38,650
What about the blunt objects?
984
00:54:38,734 --> 00:54:39,734
Do you want to get them?
985
00:54:39,818 --> 00:54:41,866
Shaun, we can't just leave your dad!
He's not my dad!
986
00:54:41,987 --> 00:54:44,536
Oh, Shaun...
Mum, he was, but he's not anymore!
987
00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:46,617
I really think we could...
No, listen to me, Mum, listen.
988
00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:48,577
That's not even your husband in there.
989
00:54:48,660 --> 00:54:49,877
Okay? I know it looks like him,
990
00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:53,198
but there is nothing of the man you
loved in that car now, nothing!
991
00:54:56,043 --> 00:54:57,345
Let's go, shall we?
992
00:54:58,337 --> 00:55:00,715
You're not seriously suggesting we walk!
993
00:55:02,841 --> 00:55:04,013
Everybody okay back there?
994
00:55:04,092 --> 00:55:06,891
Oh, yeah, we're having a whale of a time.
995
00:55:06,970 --> 00:55:09,440
Maybe we should all hold
hands, like a crocodile?
996
00:55:10,015 --> 00:55:12,088
Do you have any idea
where we're actually going?
997
00:55:12,267 --> 00:55:13,894
David, come on.
Sorry.
998
00:55:14,895 --> 00:55:16,989
Do you, though?
Yeah, totally, totally.
999
00:55:17,064 --> 00:55:18,537
Well, are we close?
1000
00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:26,278
We're pretty close.
1001
00:55:27,616 --> 00:55:28,913
Is your mum gonna be okay?
1002
00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:29,993
Yeah, I hope so.
1003
00:55:30,077 --> 00:55:31,420
Did you manage to get in
contact with your folks?
1004
00:55:31,537 --> 00:55:33,665
They're in Antigua.
Do you think this is happening there?
1005
00:55:33,747 --> 00:55:35,545
I hope not.
1006
00:55:35,624 --> 00:55:37,126
Listen Liz, about last night.
1007
00:55:37,427 --> 00:55:38,918
You know, I know loads of
things were said, but...
1008
00:55:38,919 --> 00:55:40,679
Shaun, you said
this wasn't about you and me.
1009
00:55:40,754 --> 00:55:41,755
No, no, it's not, but, I just...
1010
00:55:41,839 --> 00:55:43,341
You said it was about survival.
1011
00:55:43,423 --> 00:55:44,515
Yeah, it is, but what I'm saying is...
1012
00:55:44,591 --> 00:55:46,264
You're not doing all this just
to prove something, are you?
1013
00:55:46,343 --> 00:55:47,344
No, of course not.
I just think...
1014
00:55:47,427 --> 00:55:49,947
Because I meant everything I said
last night. Nothing's changed.
1015
00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,310
Maybe this isn't the best time
to talk about it.
1016
00:55:54,393 --> 00:55:56,316
Okay...
Oh, my God!
1017
00:55:57,271 --> 00:55:58,323
Shaun.
1018
00:55:59,398 --> 00:56:01,617
Yvonne.
How's it going?
1019
00:56:02,651 --> 00:56:04,403
Surviving.
Hey, Liz.
1020
00:56:04,486 --> 00:56:05,788
Long time no see.
1021
00:56:06,071 --> 00:56:07,118
Hey, Yvonne.
1022
00:56:08,740 --> 00:56:10,868
This is my boyfriend, Declan.
1023
00:56:10,951 --> 00:56:12,925
My friends Mark, Maggie,
1024
00:56:12,950 --> 00:56:15,532
my mum and my cousin Tom.
1025
00:56:16,290 --> 00:56:18,588
This is Shaun and his girlfriend Liz.
1026
00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:19,884
They've split up, actually.
1027
00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:21,382
Oh, really?
1028
00:56:21,461 --> 00:56:22,487
Yeah.
1029
00:56:22,671 --> 00:56:23,888
That's a shame.
1030
00:56:23,964 --> 00:56:25,716
Well, we should scoot.
1031
00:56:25,799 --> 00:56:26,800
Have you got somewhere you're going?
1032
00:56:26,884 --> 00:56:28,403
Yeah, we're going to the Winchester.
1033
00:56:29,177 --> 00:56:30,274
The pub?
1034
00:56:32,598 --> 00:56:34,897
Yeah.
Right, well. Good luck!
1035
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:42,440
Hi!
Hi!
1036
00:56:42,983 --> 00:56:43,983
Hello.
Hello.
1037
00:56:44,318 --> 00:56:45,318
Hi.
Hi.
1038
00:56:45,652 --> 00:56:46,770
Hello.
Hello.
1039
00:56:47,446 --> 00:56:48,446
All right.
All right.
1040
00:56:50,866 --> 00:56:53,085
See, what did I say?
The Winchester's just over there.
1041
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,338
Over where?
Over there.
1042
00:56:55,621 --> 00:56:58,015
Just over there, over the 20 garden fences?
1043
00:56:58,916 --> 00:57:00,212
What's the matter David?
1044
00:57:01,737 --> 00:57:03,391
Never taken a shortcut before?
1045
00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:22,210
Shaun,
1046
00:57:22,935 --> 00:57:25,801
I'm sure Jill and Derek live round here.
1047
00:57:39,498 --> 00:57:43,173
Now, the Winchester is just
over that fence, all right?
1048
00:57:43,251 --> 00:57:45,674
So, everyone stay where they are. I'll...
1049
00:57:45,754 --> 00:57:46,880
Hang on, are we all here?
1050
00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:48,807
One, two, three, four, five. Yes.
1051
00:57:48,882 --> 00:57:50,034
There's six of us.
1052
00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:53,174
Mum!
1053
00:57:55,722 --> 00:57:57,124
I'm coming!
1054
00:57:57,808 --> 00:58:00,778
Mum, Mum! Mum, are you okay?
Are you okay?
1055
00:58:00,852 --> 00:58:03,196
I don't think Jill and Derek
do live here.
1056
00:58:06,066 --> 00:58:07,092
Shaun?
1057
00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:12,540
Are you all right?
1058
00:58:30,924 --> 00:58:32,051
What are you doing?
1059
00:58:35,137 --> 00:58:36,559
Shaun!
1060
00:58:40,183 --> 00:58:41,226
Yes!
1061
00:58:44,104 --> 00:58:45,477
No, that's rubbish.
1062
00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:54,515
Yes!
1063
00:58:57,617 --> 00:58:59,870
Feel free to step in any time!
1064
00:58:59,953 --> 00:59:01,000
You did all right.
1065
00:59:01,079 --> 00:59:02,401
I didn't want to cramp your style.
1066
00:59:02,581 --> 00:59:04,679
Why?
I'm so sorry about that.
1067
00:59:07,085 --> 00:59:08,162
Right.
1068
00:59:10,672 --> 00:59:12,299
Okay, everyone just stay where they are.
1069
00:59:12,382 --> 00:59:14,135
I'm gonna check if the coast is clear.
1070
00:59:24,019 --> 00:59:25,747
Is it clear?
No.
1071
00:59:26,229 --> 00:59:27,981
How many?
Lots.
1072
00:59:38,533 --> 00:59:41,582
Oh, well, that is just great.
1073
00:59:41,661 --> 00:59:43,538
There are a fair few of them, yes.
1074
00:59:43,622 --> 00:59:46,796
I trust Shaun has another
genius scheme up his sleeve?
1075
00:59:46,875 --> 00:59:49,253
This is hardly constructive, David!
1076
00:59:49,336 --> 00:59:51,088
No, Lizzie, this is a waste of time.
1077
00:59:51,213 --> 00:59:52,430
We should have stayed at the flat.
1078
00:59:52,506 --> 00:59:53,906
Yeah, why didn't you?
Because...
1079
00:59:53,924 --> 00:59:56,040
Be... Because, because of...
1080
00:59:56,665 --> 00:59:57,703
Captain Wow!
1081
00:59:57,761 --> 00:59:58,762
Will you stop it!
1082
00:59:58,845 --> 01:00:00,939
Yes, we're not gonna get
anywhere by moaning.
1083
01:00:09,815 --> 01:00:11,119
Right, let's all.
1084
01:00:11,344 --> 01:00:13,039
Shake out. Get nice and limber.
1085
01:00:13,664 --> 01:00:14,871
Or not.
1086
01:00:15,028 --> 01:00:18,383
Now, take another look at the way
he moves. Remember, very limp.
1087
01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:20,258
Almost like sleepwalking.
1088
01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:24,364
Look at the face, it's vacant
with a hint of sadness.
1089
01:00:24,746 --> 01:00:26,474
Like a drunk who's lost a bet.
1090
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,547
Okay, let's try, shall we?
1091
01:00:28,672 --> 01:00:29,434
Liz.
1092
01:00:32,879 --> 01:00:34,351
Nice, good vocal work.
1093
01:00:34,576 --> 01:00:37,158
Okay. Barbara, that's excellent.
1094
01:00:37,884 --> 01:00:39,786
Sorry, dear, I was miles away.
1095
01:00:40,387 --> 01:00:41,387
Daffs.
1096
01:00:42,514 --> 01:00:43,514
Come on!
1097
01:00:44,683 --> 01:00:46,651
Okay. It's mournful, sorrowful,
1098
01:00:46,726 --> 01:00:48,574
you're dead, and you hate it.
Go.
1099
01:00:49,980 --> 01:00:51,373
Much better. Ed.
1100
01:00:51,648 --> 01:00:53,542
I'll do it on the night.
This is the night!
1101
01:00:55,694 --> 01:00:57,662
What is that?
What about yours?
1102
01:00:57,737 --> 01:01:00,661
Who died and made you
fucking king of the zombies?
1103
01:01:00,740 --> 01:01:01,883
Don't.
1104
01:01:05,620 --> 01:01:08,269
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Okay, right.
1105
01:01:08,748 --> 01:01:10,141
Let's all try together, shall we?
1106
01:01:10,417 --> 01:01:13,091
One, two, three.
1107
01:02:06,473 --> 01:02:10,023
Go, go, go, go.
1108
01:02:11,394 --> 01:02:14,193
Shit. Get round me, get round me.
1109
01:02:14,272 --> 01:02:16,320
John? John, Bernie, are you there?
1110
01:02:16,399 --> 01:02:19,027
It's Shaun and Ed.
We come in all the time.
1111
01:02:19,110 --> 01:02:21,433
They can hear you.
We do the quiz.
1112
01:02:21,613 --> 01:02:23,240
They know.
Stay in character, Daffs!
1113
01:02:23,323 --> 01:02:24,540
I can't see them.
1114
01:02:24,616 --> 01:02:26,368
Shaun, we have to get inside.
1115
01:02:26,493 --> 01:02:28,587
Break the window.
Don't be stupid, we'll be totally exposed!
1116
01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:30,289
We are totally exposed.
Break the window!
1117
01:02:30,372 --> 01:02:31,464
Is there another way in?
1118
01:02:31,539 --> 01:02:32,631
Well, yeah, there's...
1119
01:02:35,502 --> 01:02:36,804
Two seconds.
1120
01:02:37,087 --> 01:02:38,805
Hey, Noodle.
You all right, mate?
1121
01:02:38,922 --> 01:02:40,970
Yeah, man, I can't really talk now.
Did you get anything yet?
1122
01:02:41,049 --> 01:02:42,426
I got nothing.
Really?
1123
01:02:42,509 --> 01:02:43,761
No, I'm right in the middle of something.
1124
01:02:43,843 --> 01:02:44,935
A bit mentalist, isn't it?
1125
01:02:45,011 --> 01:02:48,106
Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?
Oi! What are you doing?
1126
01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:50,525
What am I doing? What are you
doing, you stupid moron?
1127
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:52,773
Fuck off.
You fuck off!
1128
01:02:52,852 --> 01:02:54,820
Fuck fucking off!
1129
01:02:54,938 --> 01:02:57,236
Shaun...
I've spent an entire life. Look at me.
1130
01:02:57,315 --> 01:02:59,534
I've spent my entire life
sticking my neck out for you,
1131
01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:01,327
and all you ever do is fuck things up!
1132
01:03:01,403 --> 01:03:03,121
Fuck things up and make me look stupid!
1133
01:03:03,196 --> 01:03:05,549
Well, I'm not gonna let you
do it anymore. Not today.
1134
01:03:06,032 --> 01:03:07,284
Shaun...
1135
01:03:17,669 --> 01:03:19,338
You were saying about another way in?
1136
01:03:20,213 --> 01:03:21,635
Yeah, there's a...
1137
01:03:22,716 --> 01:03:24,514
What are you doing?
1138
01:03:25,427 --> 01:03:26,474
No!
1139
01:03:28,054 --> 01:03:29,977
Get inside!
No, they'll follow us!
1140
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:31,148
What?
They'll follow us.
1141
01:03:31,224 --> 01:03:32,692
Just keep up the act, I'm
gonna have to do something.
1142
01:03:32,767 --> 01:03:33,869
What do you mean, "Do something"?
1143
01:03:34,352 --> 01:03:36,380
Hello, hello, over here, over here, over here!
1144
01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:38,441
Come on, come on, that's it, yeah,
1145
01:03:38,466 --> 01:03:41,094
come on, come on, come on,
that's it, over here!
1146
01:03:41,151 --> 01:03:43,429
Over here!
Yeah, come on!
1147
01:03:43,611 --> 01:03:46,160
Oh, bollocks. Okay, wait till
I've gone, then get inside!
1148
01:03:46,239 --> 01:03:47,279
Gone where?
Gone where?
1149
01:03:47,303 --> 01:03:48,701
I won't be long, I promise.
1150
01:03:48,783 --> 01:03:51,832
Come on, you pasty-faced fuckers, let's go!
1151
01:03:51,911 --> 01:03:53,813
Follow me.
Come on, let's go!
1152
01:03:54,414 --> 01:03:56,667
Come on, this way,
this way, that's it, come on!
1153
01:03:56,750 --> 01:03:58,673
Come on. This way, follow me.
1154
01:03:58,752 --> 01:04:00,771
Come on, follow me. Come on!
1155
01:04:01,046 --> 01:04:04,220
Come and get it!
It's a running buffet!
1156
01:04:04,299 --> 01:04:06,347
All you can eat!
1157
01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:08,170
Shall we go in, then?
1158
01:04:16,936 --> 01:04:18,779
Come on, Barbara.
Leave those.
1159
01:04:18,855 --> 01:04:20,323
I think they're for me.
1160
01:04:40,302 --> 01:04:41,929
He's been gone a good 20 minutes.
1161
01:04:42,212 --> 01:04:43,213
Seventeen.
1162
01:04:43,296 --> 01:04:46,166
Either way, we need to think about
blocking up this window here.
1163
01:04:46,841 --> 01:04:48,388
We're totally exposed.
1164
01:04:48,468 --> 01:04:50,470
How will Shaun get back in?
1165
01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:52,146
I'm sure he'll knock.
1166
01:04:53,973 --> 01:04:56,226
Oh, for goodness sake,
let's get some lights on here.
1167
01:04:56,309 --> 01:04:57,686
David, wait!
1168
01:04:58,478 --> 01:05:00,731
Power's off.
That's a good thing.
1169
01:05:00,814 --> 01:05:03,283
We don't want to advertise our
whereabouts more than we already have.
1170
01:05:03,358 --> 01:05:04,405
No, of course not.
1171
01:05:04,484 --> 01:05:05,986
Do we, David?
1172
01:05:06,653 --> 01:05:10,453
No, of course not, Lizzie.
I'm just being proactive.
1173
01:05:10,949 --> 01:05:13,030
There's no lights, there's no power.
Where are the owners?
1174
01:05:13,243 --> 01:05:15,211
And there's that bloody
great hole in the window.
1175
01:05:15,286 --> 01:05:16,458
You did that, you twat!
1176
01:05:16,538 --> 01:05:17,698
Somebody had to do something!
1177
01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:19,169
I don't know if you noticed back there,
1178
01:05:19,249 --> 01:05:20,626
but we were in a spot of bother.
1179
01:05:20,708 --> 01:05:22,301
Somebody has to take control
of the situation,
1180
01:05:22,377 --> 01:05:26,608
and if none of you are prepared
to accept that responsibility
1181
01:05:27,090 --> 01:05:30,094
then perhaps I should.
1182
01:05:30,718 --> 01:05:32,236
Will Shaun be gone long?
1183
01:05:32,512 --> 01:05:34,710
He'll be back soon.
How can you know that?
1184
01:05:34,889 --> 01:05:36,562
I don't think he'd leave us, Daffs.
1185
01:05:36,641 --> 01:05:37,561
Wouldn't he?
1186
01:05:37,586 --> 01:05:39,105
Lizzie, how can you put your faith,
1187
01:05:39,129 --> 01:05:42,738
in a man you spectacularly
binned for being unreliable?
1188
01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:44,816
A man whose idea
of a romantic nightspot
1189
01:05:44,899 --> 01:05:46,993
and an impenetrable fortress
are the same thing.
1190
01:05:47,068 --> 01:05:48,218
This is, this is a pub!
1191
01:05:48,343 --> 01:05:50,992
We are in a pub!
What are we going to do?
1192
01:05:51,489 --> 01:05:52,706
I could get a round in.
1193
01:05:52,782 --> 01:05:55,626
Look, let's just keep quiet
and wait for Shaun.
1194
01:05:55,702 --> 01:05:57,545
We can barricade the window
when he gets back.
1195
01:05:57,620 --> 01:06:00,419
What then? How long?
Days? Weeks? A month?
1196
01:06:00,498 --> 01:06:01,966
What about food?
What are we going to eat?
1197
01:06:02,041 --> 01:06:04,089
Toasties!
Yeah, there's a Breville out back.
1198
01:06:04,169 --> 01:06:06,012
Oh, great, then!
Saved by nibbles!
1199
01:06:06,087 --> 01:06:08,715
That must be why Shaun took us
here before he buggered off.
1200
01:06:08,798 --> 01:06:10,345
He's coming back!
1201
01:06:10,425 --> 01:06:12,974
Why? Because he promised?
1202
01:06:13,052 --> 01:06:15,692
And even if he does, do you think
his master plan's going to extend
1203
01:06:15,722 --> 01:06:18,441
to anything more than sitting
and eating peanuts in the dark?
1204
01:06:18,516 --> 01:06:19,859
What, is he just gonna stroll in
1205
01:06:19,934 --> 01:06:21,186
and suddenly everything's
gonna be okay?
1206
01:06:21,269 --> 01:06:23,897
I don't know, David!
1207
01:06:24,397 --> 01:06:25,944
I don't know any more than you do.
1208
01:06:26,024 --> 01:06:27,901
But what I do know is that we're here now
1209
01:06:27,984 --> 01:06:30,863
and we have to make the best of it!
1210
01:06:32,405 --> 01:06:34,032
Ed, get me a double vodka.
1211
01:06:34,115 --> 01:06:35,332
Right you are.
1212
01:06:35,408 --> 01:06:37,160
Think I'll have a drink, too, actually.
1213
01:06:37,243 --> 01:06:38,966
Would you like a drink, Barbara?
Hello.
1214
01:06:39,245 --> 01:06:41,464
Right, great, fuck it. That's what
we'll do, that's what we'll do.
1215
01:06:41,539 --> 01:06:42,665
We'll all have a party.
How about that?
1216
01:06:42,749 --> 01:06:44,171
We all get completely smashed.
1217
01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:46,548
Oh, look, we've got our nibbles.
1218
01:06:46,628 --> 01:06:48,175
We've got our Mini Cheddars...
1219
01:06:48,254 --> 01:06:49,847
David!
We got Twiglets.
1220
01:06:49,923 --> 01:06:52,096
Oh, look, Hog Lumps.
1221
01:06:57,263 --> 01:06:58,610
Pickle.
1222
01:06:58,890 --> 01:07:00,467
Hello, Mum. You all right?
1223
01:07:00,850 --> 01:07:02,323
Everybody okay?
Yeah.
1224
01:07:02,602 --> 01:07:04,320
Any sign of John and Bernie?
We haven't seen them.
1225
01:07:04,395 --> 01:07:06,147
Check upstairs?
I think it's locked.
1226
01:07:06,231 --> 01:07:07,198
What's the phone situation?
1227
01:07:07,273 --> 01:07:08,951
Dead. Same as the power.
1228
01:07:09,734 --> 01:07:10,902
Okay.
1229
01:07:11,778 --> 01:07:13,301
Nice of you to join us.
1230
01:07:14,072 --> 01:07:16,671
Yeah, well, I promised, didn't I?
1231
01:07:22,330 --> 01:07:24,699
How did you lose them?
1232
01:07:26,793 --> 01:07:28,171
I just gave them the slip.
1233
01:07:28,196 --> 01:07:30,367
Wasn't difficult.
They're not all that.
1234
01:07:30,630 --> 01:07:32,177
Well, how did you get in?
1235
01:07:32,257 --> 01:07:33,884
There is a back door, David.
1236
01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:36,061
I tried to tell you before you
went and smashed the window.
1237
01:07:36,135 --> 01:07:37,637
Well, I wasn't the one
who was blowing our cover
1238
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:39,563
by having a tiff with my boyfriend.
1239
01:07:39,639 --> 01:07:41,232
He's not my boyfriend.
1240
01:07:41,724 --> 01:07:43,567
Might be a bit warm, the cooler's off.
1241
01:07:43,643 --> 01:07:44,886
Thanks, babe.
1242
01:07:46,771 --> 01:07:48,773
So, what's the plan, then?
1243
01:07:51,484 --> 01:07:54,283
Would anyone like a peanut?
1244
01:08:03,663 --> 01:08:04,991
Why don't you do your Clyde?
1245
01:08:05,873 --> 01:08:08,626
Oh, some... Has anyone seen
Every Which Way But Loose?
1246
01:08:08,710 --> 01:08:11,284
Ed does the most amazing
impression of the orang-utan.
1247
01:08:11,462 --> 01:08:14,261
No, it's not.
It is. Come on. Do it.
1248
01:08:14,340 --> 01:08:16,388
No, no.
But it's brilliant. Come on, just do it.
1249
01:08:16,467 --> 01:08:17,593
Do it, it'll work.
Come on, just do it.
1250
01:08:17,677 --> 01:08:19,099
You've built it up too much,
I feel uncomfortable.
1251
01:08:19,178 --> 01:08:21,306
No, you don't. Just do it.
Oh, come on, do it.
1252
01:08:21,389 --> 01:08:23,187
See. Everyone wants to see it.
We could do with a laugh.
1253
01:08:23,266 --> 01:08:25,860
Do it, do it, do it, do it.
Come on, do it.
1254
01:08:25,935 --> 01:08:27,863
I'm not a performing monkey.
1255
01:08:30,982 --> 01:08:33,501
The power's on.
It's not, I tried it earlier.
1256
01:08:33,776 --> 01:08:35,949
No, but the street lights have come on.
It means the grid isn't out.
1257
01:08:36,029 --> 01:08:38,157
It's the fuses. I'll just flip them
back on, we can watch television.
1258
01:08:38,239 --> 01:08:39,286
What about the lights?
1259
01:08:39,365 --> 01:08:42,335
Yes, we don't want to advertise our
whereabouts more than we already have.
1260
01:08:42,410 --> 01:08:44,010
The lights operate on a separate circuit,
1261
01:08:44,037 --> 01:08:45,584
I'll just flip the mains breakers.
1262
01:08:45,663 --> 01:08:47,665
It's quite simple, David.
1263
01:09:16,319 --> 01:09:18,117
Is that it?
That's it!
1264
01:09:45,306 --> 01:09:46,214
Liz...
1265
01:09:47,439 --> 01:09:48,761
have you got a quid?
1266
01:09:53,606 --> 01:09:54,308
Yeah.
1267
01:10:00,113 --> 01:10:01,441
Never anything on, is there?
1268
01:10:06,536 --> 01:10:07,528
What?
1269
01:10:10,623 --> 01:10:13,046
I think we might have a bit of a problem.
1270
01:10:13,543 --> 01:10:14,770
What do you mean?
1271
01:10:18,381 --> 01:10:19,758
They followed me.
1272
01:10:20,425 --> 01:10:22,769
I thought you said you gave
them the slip.
1273
01:10:22,844 --> 01:10:23,870
Yeah.
1274
01:10:25,930 --> 01:10:28,900
Well, we'll just have to be
extra quiet, then, won't we?
1275
01:10:31,144 --> 01:10:32,096
What?
1276
01:10:34,772 --> 01:10:36,490
Ed, no!
Ed, no!
1277
01:10:37,316 --> 01:10:38,863
Turn it off!
1278
01:11:13,311 --> 01:11:15,171
Where the hell did he come from?
I don't know.
1279
01:11:19,150 --> 01:11:21,323
Who the hell put this on?
It's on random.
1280
01:11:21,402 --> 01:11:22,449
For fuck's sake!
1281
01:11:22,528 --> 01:11:25,753
Okay, Dianne, get Mum somewhere safe.
David, kill the Queen.
1282
01:11:26,032 --> 01:11:27,249
What?
The jukebox!
1283
01:11:27,325 --> 01:11:28,872
Liz, Ed, grab something weaponry.
1284
01:11:28,951 --> 01:11:30,919
What about the rifle?
It's not real!
1285
01:11:30,995 --> 01:11:32,292
Cocktails?
What do you mean?
1286
01:11:32,371 --> 01:11:33,414
The flaming spirits.
1287
01:11:33,439 --> 01:11:36,274
Drambuie, Sambuca, brandy.
Get a rag in. Light it.
1288
01:11:36,374 --> 01:11:38,053
But the whole place could go up.
What, then?
1289
01:11:39,045 --> 01:11:40,638
How about pool?
1290
01:11:46,886 --> 01:11:49,435
Okay, John,
it's time at the bar!
1291
01:12:08,950 --> 01:12:09,990
I can't find the switches!
1292
01:12:10,034 --> 01:12:11,378
Well, then get the fuses!
1293
01:12:46,279 --> 01:12:47,747
Why is Queen still on?
1294
01:12:47,822 --> 01:12:49,119
We have a situation!
1295
01:12:49,198 --> 01:12:50,290
I know!
1296
01:12:51,492 --> 01:12:52,539
Fuck this.
Ed!
1297
01:12:52,618 --> 01:12:53,965
Two seconds.
1298
01:12:54,245 --> 01:12:55,292
Oi!
1299
01:13:03,212 --> 01:13:04,405
Shaun!
1300
01:13:07,967 --> 01:13:09,014
No!
1301
01:13:11,220 --> 01:13:13,314
Yes! Yes! In the head!
1302
01:13:18,227 --> 01:13:19,774
Shauny!
1303
01:13:35,620 --> 01:13:37,323
Why didn't you just shoot him, man?
1304
01:13:39,624 --> 01:13:41,547
Ed, for the last time, it's...
1305
01:13:45,254 --> 01:13:46,972
I fucking knew it!
1306
01:13:47,048 --> 01:13:49,051
What did I tell you?
Big Al was right.
1307
01:13:49,634 --> 01:13:50,634
Okay,
1308
01:13:55,139 --> 01:13:57,107
but dogs can look up.
1309
01:14:00,686 --> 01:14:02,939
Okay, has anyone fired a gun before?
Oh, yeah.
1310
01:14:03,022 --> 01:14:04,945
Apart from Ed?
I'm a pacifist.
1311
01:14:05,024 --> 01:14:06,150
Apart from David and Ed?
1312
01:14:06,233 --> 01:14:07,735
Sorry, what was Ed's experience?
1313
01:14:07,818 --> 01:14:09,991
He shot his sister in the leg
with an air rifle.
1314
01:14:10,071 --> 01:14:11,118
I think you should do it.
1315
01:14:11,197 --> 01:14:12,164
I think we should all do it.
1316
01:14:12,239 --> 01:14:13,741
How can five people operate one gun?
1317
01:14:13,824 --> 01:14:16,553
None of us have any real experience, okay?
Now, we've only got...
1318
01:14:17,036 --> 01:14:18,529
Twenty-nine.
Twenty-nine bullets.
1319
01:14:18,704 --> 01:14:20,456
Call them shells.
We've only got 29 shells,
1320
01:14:20,539 --> 01:14:21,916
we really need to work
together on this.
1321
01:14:21,999 --> 01:14:23,171
I need someone to help me reload,
1322
01:14:23,250 --> 01:14:25,127
everyone else to look out.
I will fire.
1323
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:26,508
As Bertrand Russell once said,
1324
01:14:26,587 --> 01:14:29,807
The only thing that will redeem
mankind is cooperation.
1325
01:14:29,882 --> 01:14:31,956
I think we can all appreciate
the relevance of that now.
1326
01:14:33,135 --> 01:14:34,495
Was that on the back of a beer mat?
1327
01:14:34,553 --> 01:14:35,930
Yeah, it was Guinness Extra Cold.
1328
01:14:36,013 --> 01:14:37,560
I won't say anything.
Thanks.
1329
01:14:40,101 --> 01:14:41,778
They definitely want to come in.
1330
01:14:42,061 --> 01:14:43,187
Get Mum out of the way.
1331
01:14:43,813 --> 01:14:46,657
David, Dianne, let's go.
Ed, give me some shells.
1332
01:14:48,776 --> 01:14:49,754
Barbara?
1333
01:14:50,378 --> 01:14:51,277
Hello.
1334
01:14:51,278 --> 01:14:52,857
Would you like to come with me?
1335
01:14:52,982 --> 01:14:54,226
That would be lovely.
1336
01:14:56,075 --> 01:14:57,973
It's nice to meet you, finally.
1337
01:14:59,537 --> 01:15:01,210
Shaun's always talking about you.
1338
01:15:01,288 --> 01:15:02,665
Really?
Yeah.
1339
01:15:03,916 --> 01:15:05,133
Barbara?
1340
01:15:06,919 --> 01:15:08,237
Are you all right?
1341
01:15:09,088 --> 01:15:10,716
I've got something for you.
1342
01:15:12,591 --> 01:15:15,161
Shaun's father gave me this.
Shaun's real father, I mean.
1343
01:15:16,137 --> 01:15:17,914
I'd like you to have it.
1344
01:15:18,097 --> 01:15:19,690
Barbara, Shaun and I have...
1345
01:15:19,765 --> 01:15:21,292
it seems only right.
1346
01:15:37,533 --> 01:15:39,106
I didn't want to say anything.
1347
01:15:39,785 --> 01:15:41,833
I thought Shaun would be worried.
1348
01:15:43,122 --> 01:15:43,904
Liz?
1349
01:15:44,429 --> 01:15:45,875
Here they come!
1350
01:15:48,127 --> 01:15:49,855
Stay behind me! Stay behind me!
There's one!
1351
01:15:50,337 --> 01:15:51,384
Sorry, we're closed!
1352
01:15:53,632 --> 01:15:55,384
Try the safety button.
Yeah, that happened to me on stage.
1353
01:15:55,468 --> 01:15:56,620
Cock it!
1354
01:16:04,810 --> 01:16:06,303
Over there!
Over where?
1355
01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:07,622
3 o'clock.
1356
01:16:14,028 --> 01:16:15,996
Over there again. Quarter to 12.
1357
01:16:16,072 --> 01:16:17,094
What?
1358
01:16:17,573 --> 01:16:19,646
11:45.
Keep it simple!
1359
01:16:21,118 --> 01:16:22,370
Top left.
1360
01:16:24,663 --> 01:16:26,415
Reload.
I'm on it!
1361
01:16:32,755 --> 01:16:34,257
Nice shot.
1362
01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:37,059
Okay, David, Dianne,
let's block up this window!
1363
01:16:37,134 --> 01:16:38,386
Ed, take over a sec.
1364
01:16:40,221 --> 01:16:43,225
What is it? What's wrong?
Shaun, I'm so sorry.
1365
01:16:43,307 --> 01:16:44,307
Mum, what's wrong?
1366
01:16:44,350 --> 01:16:46,523
I didn't want to be a bother.
1367
01:16:49,855 --> 01:16:51,232
Mum, I don't understand.
1368
01:16:51,816 --> 01:16:53,784
The man in his pyjamas...
1369
01:16:53,859 --> 01:16:56,578
I didn't want to say anything,
I thought you'd be upset.
1370
01:16:56,654 --> 01:16:58,656
No, you should've said.
1371
01:17:00,241 --> 01:17:01,543
Take over a sec.
What?
1372
01:17:02,326 --> 01:17:04,704
What's going on?
What's up? What's wrong?
1373
01:17:04,787 --> 01:17:06,755
What the hell's going on?
Barbara's hurt!
1374
01:17:06,831 --> 01:17:08,959
Mum.
Just take over a minute.
1375
01:17:09,041 --> 01:17:09,835
Jesus.
1376
01:17:10,460 --> 01:17:11,840
I know first aid.
1377
01:17:13,379 --> 01:17:14,693
Just hang on.
1378
01:17:15,018 --> 01:17:17,424
Mum? Mum?
Is she...
1379
01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:18,727
Shaun.
1380
01:17:19,009 --> 01:17:20,787
Just hold on, Mum,
you're gonna be fine.
1381
01:17:21,470 --> 01:17:23,864
I never thanked you.
For what?
1382
01:17:25,641 --> 01:17:28,816
For these. To a wonderful mum.
1383
01:17:31,438 --> 01:17:33,437
It's been a funny
sort of day, hasn't it?
1384
01:17:35,359 --> 01:17:36,862
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
1385
01:17:36,887 --> 01:17:39,980
Come on, Mum, come on, Mum
stop it, stop it, stop it.
1386
01:17:40,531 --> 01:17:42,961
Don't, Mum. Please don't go.
1387
01:17:55,045 --> 01:17:56,137
What are you doing?
1388
01:17:56,213 --> 01:17:57,339
We have to deal with her.
1389
01:17:57,423 --> 01:17:58,515
Daffs!
1390
01:17:58,591 --> 01:18:00,093
For Christ's sake!
1391
01:18:00,176 --> 01:18:02,429
She's gonna come back!
She's not gone anywhere.
1392
01:18:02,511 --> 01:18:03,833
Well, she'll change.
1393
01:18:04,013 --> 01:18:05,186
She's my mum.
1394
01:18:05,764 --> 01:18:08,043
She's a zombie.
Don't say that!
1395
01:18:08,726 --> 01:18:11,696
Move aside.
I'm gonna count to three.
1396
01:18:11,770 --> 01:18:15,274
One, two, three!
1397
01:18:15,983 --> 01:18:17,735
Don't point that gun at my mum!
1398
01:18:17,818 --> 01:18:19,536
Shaun, calm down!
1399
01:18:19,612 --> 01:18:21,205
Don't point that gun at Barbara!
1400
01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:23,360
Ed, don't exacerbate things!
What does that mean?
1401
01:18:23,365 --> 01:18:25,093
This isn't exactly fair!
1402
01:18:25,576 --> 01:18:26,919
Here.
Thank you.
1403
01:18:26,994 --> 01:18:28,396
It's okay.
1404
01:18:29,830 --> 01:18:32,174
Please, can we just stop
and think about this?
1405
01:18:32,249 --> 01:18:34,377
Tell him to put the gun down!
1406
01:18:34,460 --> 01:18:36,613
Look, Lizzie, she's gonna change.
You know I'm right.
1407
01:18:36,795 --> 01:18:39,924
And when she does, she'll come
back and she'll kill all of us.
1408
01:18:40,007 --> 01:18:41,759
That's what your ex
can't seem to realize.
1409
01:18:41,842 --> 01:18:43,560
That's what this is about, isn't it?
1410
01:18:43,636 --> 01:18:45,479
It's just... He just...
He doesn't like me!
1411
01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:47,773
He's always hated me and now
he wants to shoot my mum!
1412
01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:48,849
She's not...
1413
01:18:48,933 --> 01:18:51,356
You've never thought I deserved her,
that I was good enough.
1414
01:18:51,435 --> 01:18:52,402
What are you talking about?
1415
01:18:52,478 --> 01:18:55,197
Oh, come on, we all know
you're in love with Liz!
1416
01:18:55,272 --> 01:18:56,364
That is not true!
1417
01:18:56,440 --> 01:18:58,283
Yes, it is!
That is not true.
1418
01:18:58,359 --> 01:19:00,327
Yes, it is.
What?
1419
01:19:00,402 --> 01:19:03,906
I know you only hung out with me
at college to get close to Liz.
1420
01:19:03,989 --> 01:19:05,206
And when she knocked you back,
1421
01:19:05,282 --> 01:19:06,909
I was there to pick up the pieces.
1422
01:19:06,992 --> 01:19:08,931
I've come to terms with that Daffs,
1423
01:19:09,356 --> 01:19:10,395
why can't you?
1424
01:19:11,413 --> 01:19:13,461
Lizzie, I want you to know
that my feelings for you
1425
01:19:13,540 --> 01:19:14,541
have always been essentially...
1426
01:19:14,625 --> 01:19:18,095
David, please! There are slightly
more pressing matters at hand here!
1427
01:19:18,170 --> 01:19:20,764
Like the fact that Daffs
is pointing a gun at my mum!
1428
01:19:20,839 --> 01:19:23,092
I'm not the one who's being
unreasonable, Pickle.
1429
01:19:23,175 --> 01:19:24,927
For Christ's sake, she's not dead!
1430
01:19:25,010 --> 01:19:25,944
She's finished!
1431
01:19:26,169 --> 01:19:27,838
For a hero, you're quite a hypocrite!
1432
01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:31,146
You're the one that's gone from being a
Chartered Accountant to Charlton Heston!
1433
01:19:31,225 --> 01:19:33,023
I'm not a Chartered Accountant!
1434
01:19:33,102 --> 01:19:34,399
Well, you look like one!
1435
01:19:34,400 --> 01:19:35,253
Yeah!
1436
01:19:35,378 --> 01:19:36,555
I'm a lecturer!
1437
01:19:36,558 --> 01:19:38,235
You're a twat!
Yeah!
1438
01:19:38,399 --> 01:19:39,797
She's not your mum anymore!
1439
01:19:40,022 --> 01:19:42,098
In a minute she'll be just another zombie!
1440
01:19:42,152 --> 01:19:44,871
Don't say that.
We're not using the Z word.
1441
01:19:44,947 --> 01:19:49,874
Please, can we just calm the fuck down?
1442
01:19:51,161 --> 01:19:54,782
Now, I can see
what David is trying to say...
1443
01:19:54,957 --> 01:19:57,110
Thank you, Lizzie.
even if he is being a twat!
1444
01:19:57,293 --> 01:19:58,193
Yep.
1445
01:19:59,378 --> 01:20:00,413
And Shaun,
1446
01:20:00,538 --> 01:20:01,897
Shaun look at me.
1447
01:20:04,591 --> 01:20:07,212
I can't begin to imagine
how hard this must be for you,
1448
01:20:08,387 --> 01:20:10,156
but we can't afford to fall apart.
1449
01:20:12,057 --> 01:20:13,911
Shaun, babe,
1450
01:20:14,712 --> 01:20:16,307
I know you don't wanna hear this.
1451
01:20:35,998 --> 01:20:37,141
You do it.
1452
01:20:48,093 --> 01:20:49,340
I'm sorry, Mum.
1453
01:20:51,638 --> 01:20:52,810
Do it!
1454
01:21:08,947 --> 01:21:12,042
Well, I think we're all agreed,
1455
01:21:12,117 --> 01:21:13,794
you did the right thing there.
1456
01:21:19,124 --> 01:21:21,001
David, no!
1457
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:24,051
David.
1458
01:21:24,630 --> 01:21:26,724
Right, I'm leaving.
1459
01:21:26,799 --> 01:21:28,551
What?
I'm not staying here.
1460
01:21:28,634 --> 01:21:30,628
David, don't, it's suicide.
1461
01:21:30,803 --> 01:21:31,975
I think you should go.
1462
01:21:32,054 --> 01:21:33,814
We will. We can run,
we can defend ourselves.
1463
01:21:33,889 --> 01:21:35,641
What do you mean we?
1464
01:21:35,724 --> 01:21:36,816
What do you mean,
What do I mean we?
1465
01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:40,567
Opening that door now would be
a very, very silly thing to do.
1466
01:21:40,646 --> 01:21:42,146
So, are you gonna stay here with him?
1467
01:21:42,147 --> 01:21:43,820
Look, Shaun...
After everything he's gotten us into!
1468
01:21:43,899 --> 01:21:45,351
You let me finish!
1469
01:21:45,734 --> 01:21:47,486
Shaun didn't ask you to come here.
1470
01:21:47,569 --> 01:21:49,162
You came for the same
reason that I did,
1471
01:21:49,238 --> 01:21:50,455
'cause you didn't know
what else to do.
1472
01:21:50,531 --> 01:21:52,078
Get away from that door
this instant!
1473
01:21:52,157 --> 01:21:53,184
But...
David!
1474
01:22:02,835 --> 01:22:04,137
I'm so sorry, Dianne.
1475
01:22:04,920 --> 01:22:08,475
Maybe I'm not the one
you should be apologizing to.
1476
01:22:10,509 --> 01:22:11,526
Shaun.
1477
01:22:17,558 --> 01:22:20,061
David! No!
1478
01:22:20,144 --> 01:22:23,023
No, no, no, no!
1479
01:22:23,897 --> 01:22:25,319
David!
1480
01:22:26,150 --> 01:22:27,276
No, no!
1481
01:22:27,359 --> 01:22:28,861
David!
1482
01:22:49,339 --> 01:22:50,841
David!
1483
01:22:52,092 --> 01:22:53,969
Dianne, no!
Dianne, no!
1484
01:22:54,052 --> 01:22:55,474
I'm coming, David!
1485
01:22:56,013 --> 01:22:58,311
David! David!
1486
01:23:01,894 --> 01:23:02,991
Oh, dear.
1487
01:23:03,645 --> 01:23:05,363
Cocktails?
Do it.
1488
01:23:16,450 --> 01:23:17,872
Stay back!
1489
01:23:23,665 --> 01:23:25,292
Shaun, hold them!
1490
01:23:28,795 --> 01:23:29,887
Heads!
1491
01:23:34,343 --> 01:23:36,266
Ed!
Hurry up!
1492
01:23:37,846 --> 01:23:39,769
Shauny, look who it is.
1493
01:23:40,390 --> 01:23:42,063
Fuck a doodle doo!
1494
01:23:44,603 --> 01:23:45,655
Ed!
1495
01:23:46,355 --> 01:23:48,107
Shaun!
Ed!
1496
01:23:48,190 --> 01:23:50,284
Don't groan at me,
you thick fuck!
1497
01:23:50,359 --> 01:23:52,111
I can't hold them!
1498
01:23:55,656 --> 01:23:56,808
No!
1499
01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:02,837
Shaun!
Pete!
1500
01:24:05,207 --> 01:24:07,380
I said, leave him alone!
1501
01:24:10,462 --> 01:24:13,716
Ed! Ed!
1502
01:24:13,799 --> 01:24:15,872
Shaun, bar!
1503
01:24:27,729 --> 01:24:28,781
Ed!
1504
01:24:30,190 --> 01:24:31,287
Ed!
1505
01:24:33,068 --> 01:24:34,240
Ed!
1506
01:24:35,320 --> 01:24:36,367
What?
1507
01:24:37,573 --> 01:24:39,221
Chuck us a cloth will you?
1508
01:24:52,379 --> 01:24:54,757
Where are the shells?
They're on the bar.
1509
01:24:54,840 --> 01:24:56,183
Oh, fuck!
1510
01:24:59,928 --> 01:25:01,180
Fuck it!
1511
01:25:02,723 --> 01:25:04,225
What are we gonna do?
Where are we gonna go?
1512
01:25:04,808 --> 01:25:06,936
The cellar!
Maybe we can get out.
1513
01:25:07,019 --> 01:25:09,113
There's a barrel hatch
that leads into the street.
1514
01:25:09,187 --> 01:25:10,939
You mean go back outside?
1515
01:25:12,691 --> 01:25:15,035
Oh, give us a fucking break!
1516
01:25:21,199 --> 01:25:22,451
Go!
Go!
1517
01:25:33,253 --> 01:25:34,651
I can see the street.
1518
01:25:36,673 --> 01:25:37,890
Come on.
1519
01:25:39,301 --> 01:25:40,569
Come on!
1520
01:25:42,137 --> 01:25:43,856
Why won't it open?
1521
01:25:54,900 --> 01:25:56,594
That's it, isn't it? We're trapped.
1522
01:25:57,069 --> 01:25:58,992
Hey, let's go to the Winchester!
1523
01:25:59,071 --> 01:26:00,944
Whose fucking idea was that?
1524
01:26:01,323 --> 01:26:03,576
Man, I've really ballsed this up.
1525
01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:09,194
No, you haven't.
I have, Liz.
1526
01:26:09,218 --> 01:26:11,116
I couldn't save us, you know.
1527
01:26:11,116 --> 01:26:14,071
I couldn't save Di or David.
I couldn't even save my mum.
1528
01:26:14,896 --> 01:26:16,023
I'm useless.
1529
01:26:16,104 --> 01:26:18,404
You shouldn't feel
so responsible, you tried.
1530
01:26:19,383 --> 01:26:21,761
You did something, that's what counts.
1531
01:26:23,428 --> 01:26:25,055
Yeah, I suppose.
1532
01:26:28,517 --> 01:26:30,360
Do you think they'll get through?
1533
01:26:30,977 --> 01:26:31,979
Yeah.
1534
01:26:34,106 --> 01:26:35,625
How many shells have we got left?
1535
01:26:38,944 --> 01:26:40,013
Two.
1536
01:26:40,138 --> 01:26:43,044
I suppose we could take a few of
them out if they stand in a line.
1537
01:26:44,950 --> 01:26:46,873
I wasn't thinking about them.
1538
01:26:47,652 --> 01:26:48,650
I know.
1539
01:26:53,875 --> 01:26:55,593
What about Ed?
There's only two shells.
1540
01:26:55,669 --> 01:26:57,671
I don't mind being eaten.
1541
01:27:02,843 --> 01:27:04,145
How are we gonna do this?
1542
01:27:05,262 --> 01:27:06,264
I don't know.
1543
01:27:07,472 --> 01:27:09,474
One of us has to go first.
1544
01:27:09,558 --> 01:27:12,803
Maybe one should do the other
and then do themselves.
1545
01:27:12,978 --> 01:27:16,653
Maybe you should do me. I'll only
muck it up if I have to do myself.
1546
01:27:25,490 --> 01:27:28,281
Do you know, I don't think I've got
it in me to shoot my flatmate,
1547
01:27:28,306 --> 01:27:30,829
my mum and my girlfriend
all in the same evening.
1548
01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:35,468
What makes you think
I've taken you back?
1549
01:27:38,545 --> 01:27:40,923
You don't want to die single, do you?
1550
01:27:41,006 --> 01:27:44,681
Actually, I would like to be shot.
1551
01:27:46,178 --> 01:27:47,370
Besides, I've changed.
1552
01:27:47,395 --> 01:27:50,048
I haven't had a fag since
yesterday, I promise.
1553
01:27:50,098 --> 01:27:51,341
He hasn't.
1554
01:27:54,269 --> 01:27:56,488
Maybe we should have one now.
1555
01:27:58,231 --> 01:27:59,858
What...
1556
01:27:59,941 --> 01:28:01,284
You left them in my flat.
1557
01:28:01,359 --> 01:28:02,627
Yeah, in the bin.
1558
01:28:02,903 --> 01:28:04,255
I was desperate.
1559
01:28:04,738 --> 01:28:06,240
Sneaky monkey.
1560
01:28:06,323 --> 01:28:07,391
Sorry.
1561
01:28:07,866 --> 01:28:09,264
I won't say anything.
1562
01:28:22,088 --> 01:28:24,637
Come on, we're getting out of here.
1563
01:28:25,717 --> 01:28:26,969
I might just stay here.
1564
01:28:27,052 --> 01:28:28,104
Yeah, but we can get out.
1565
01:28:28,887 --> 01:28:30,605
I think you two should make a go of it.
1566
01:28:30,680 --> 01:28:31,973
What are you talking about?
1567
01:28:32,349 --> 01:28:33,617
I only hold you back.
1568
01:28:34,392 --> 01:28:35,435
Yeah, but...
1569
01:28:41,066 --> 01:28:42,560
Maybe you should have this.
1570
01:28:43,944 --> 01:28:45,587
Don't you want it?
1571
01:28:45,862 --> 01:28:48,911
No. I can't hit anything
with it anyway, I'm rubbish.
1572
01:28:52,452 --> 01:28:53,754
Ed, I'm sorry.
1573
01:28:54,704 --> 01:28:56,001
What for?
1574
01:28:57,165 --> 01:28:59,759
'Cause I was shouting
at you earlier on.
1575
01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:02,559
It's all right.
I'm sorry, too.
1576
01:29:03,964 --> 01:29:05,107
It's okay.
1577
01:29:05,382 --> 01:29:08,186
No, I'm sorry, Shaun.
1578
01:29:11,680 --> 01:29:15,205
Oh, God, God.
That's not funny.
1579
01:29:15,684 --> 01:29:17,857
I'll stop doing them
when you stop laughing.
1580
01:29:17,936 --> 01:29:19,563
I'm not laughing.
1581
01:29:33,326 --> 01:29:34,794
You better be off.
1582
01:29:44,296 --> 01:29:46,719
Bye, Ed. Love you.
1583
01:29:47,966 --> 01:29:49,013
Cheers.
1584
01:29:50,510 --> 01:29:52,108
I love you, too, man.
1585
01:29:55,807 --> 01:29:57,480
Gay!
1586
01:30:18,288 --> 01:30:19,305
Ready?
1587
01:30:20,248 --> 01:30:21,341
Ready.
1588
01:30:30,634 --> 01:30:35,356
Section One. Ready.
Zombies to your front. Fire!
1589
01:30:36,431 --> 01:30:39,901
Section One.
Targets to your front. Fire!
1590
01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:58,044
Oh, my God. Shaun!
1591
01:30:58,119 --> 01:30:59,211
Yvonne?
1592
01:31:04,668 --> 01:31:05,865
How you doing?
1593
01:31:06,586 --> 01:31:07,763
Surviving.
Surviving.
1594
01:31:08,046 --> 01:31:09,093
They're taking us somewhere safe.
1595
01:31:09,172 --> 01:31:10,219
I thought you two might wanna...
1596
01:31:10,298 --> 01:31:11,450
Move it!
tag along.
1597
01:31:12,717 --> 01:31:13,865
Is it just the two of you?
1598
01:31:17,305 --> 01:31:20,229
Well, glad somebody made it.
1599
01:31:22,185 --> 01:31:23,202
Come on.
1600
01:31:37,993 --> 01:31:40,997
Next, we'll hear the story of
10-year-old Enrique Romerez
1601
01:31:41,079 --> 01:31:44,333
who fought off the reanimated
corpses of his entire family.
1602
01:31:44,666 --> 01:31:48,091
It's all coming right up
on Zombies From Hell.
1603
01:31:48,253 --> 01:31:49,971
Six months on and to many
1604
01:31:50,046 --> 01:31:53,095
the events of Z-day
must seem like a bad dream.
1605
01:31:53,174 --> 01:31:57,145
And as we now know, the phenomenon
resulted from the use of highly...
1606
01:31:57,220 --> 01:31:58,597
not something
I ever expected
1607
01:31:58,680 --> 01:32:01,149
as a newscaster to have to say on air.
1608
01:32:02,100 --> 01:32:05,229
Removing the head or destroying
the brain. Incredible.
1609
01:32:05,353 --> 01:32:08,857
Dead excited now, to have a top band
with us, talking about their work,
1610
01:32:08,940 --> 01:32:10,692
for the charity Zombaid.
1611
01:32:10,775 --> 01:32:12,573
The fact that the mobile deceased
1612
01:32:12,652 --> 01:32:14,575
retained their primal instincts
1613
01:32:14,654 --> 01:32:17,749
make them ideal recruitment
for the service industry.
1614
01:32:17,824 --> 01:32:21,203
As well as proving themselves
useful in other roles, such as...
1615
01:32:21,286 --> 01:32:25,462
He can't quite get it. He's fallen,
he's down!
1616
01:32:27,584 --> 01:32:29,006
I don't see nothing wrong with it,
1617
01:32:29,085 --> 01:32:31,554
but I know that some people would
see something wrong with it.
1618
01:32:31,629 --> 01:32:33,597
But he's my husband, you know.
1619
01:32:33,840 --> 01:32:36,935
I still love him, and I still got
the ring on my finger, Trisha.
1620
01:32:37,010 --> 01:32:38,227
You go to bed with it?
1621
01:32:38,303 --> 01:32:39,555
Course I do.
1622
01:32:40,388 --> 01:32:44,143
All right. Okay, you can't
understand why she's with him.
1623
01:32:44,809 --> 01:32:48,188
Okay, what do you say to people that
criticize you for being with...
1624
01:32:48,271 --> 01:32:49,272
Well, they don't have...
1625
01:32:49,355 --> 01:32:50,948
initial claims that the virus was caused
1626
01:32:51,024 --> 01:32:52,776
by rage infected monkeys
1627
01:32:52,859 --> 01:32:54,736
have now been dismissed as...
1628
01:32:54,819 --> 01:32:55,871
Hello.
1629
01:33:02,118 --> 01:33:03,516
What's the plan, then?
1630
01:33:04,245 --> 01:33:06,749
Right, a cup of tea,
1631
01:33:07,332 --> 01:33:09,226
then we get the Sundays.
1632
01:33:10,001 --> 01:33:12,504
Head down the Phoenix for a roast,
1633
01:33:12,587 --> 01:33:14,340
veg out in the pub for a bit,
1634
01:33:15,340 --> 01:33:18,314
then wander home,
watch a bit of telly, go to bed.
1635
01:33:18,593 --> 01:33:19,765
Perfect.
1636
01:33:19,844 --> 01:33:21,141
I'll get the kettle on.
1637
01:33:21,221 --> 01:33:22,989
Can I have two sugars, please?
1638
01:33:23,890 --> 01:33:24,983
Adventurous.
1639
01:33:25,558 --> 01:33:27,536
Actually, I might pop into
the garden for a bit.
1640
01:33:28,019 --> 01:33:29,687
Go on, then.
1641
01:33:30,063 --> 01:33:31,265
Two seconds.
1642
01:33:43,201 --> 01:33:45,304
Player Two has entered the game.
1643
01:33:46,454 --> 01:33:47,626
Ed!
1644
01:33:55,922 --> 01:33:57,094
Yes!
1645
01:34:01,218 --> 01:34:03,218
LESAIGNEUR
Sync & corrections August 2016
lesaigneur@hotmail.com
1645
01:34:04,305 --> 01:35:04,679
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