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Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

- So I think I have a plan

to keep the Douglas kids at Bayside.

- Me too, I just need to get through to my dad.

- Is he not listening to you? - No.

I mean literally get through to my dad.

I've been on hold with his office for 16 hours.

[jazzy saxophone music] See?

That's him playing the sax.

- Cool. - Yeah.

- I think we should stage a school-wide walkout.

If we can get some media attention,

it might put pressure on the school board to do something.

- I don't know, Daisy. Are you sure that we can

count on all the Bayside kids to walk out with us?

- Oh, so now it's "us." I thought you were planning

on staying at Bayside no matter what.

- Don't come at me like that.

I'm just thinking about my future.

- A future with no best friend.

Good luck finding someone who's gonna tell you

when it's time to wax your little moustache.

- Well, it was time to wax yours two days ago,

but I didn't say nothin'.

all: [gasp] - Yo!

If we can't agree at this table,

then how are we gonna get the whole school to walk out?

Bayside has like a million cliques.

It's got the artsy kids,

the girls who code,

the cool Christians.

Uncool Christians. all: Mm.

- Yeah, but there's Douglas kids in all of those groups.

I mean, you guys are our friends.

- Yeah, but being friends with someone

doesn't mean you're willing to put your neck out for 'em.

- Listen, I can get people at the school to do anything.

Did you notice how everyone here calls soda "fizzy juice"?

I made that happen for a reason I don't remember.

- Okay, Lexi, you and Jamie try to get everyone on board.

DeVante, Aisha, and I will reach out to local media

and convince them to cover the walkout.

- And as soon as my dad picks up,

I'll convince him to come. - Your wait time

is approximately 4 billion minutes.

[saxophone plays]

[school bell rings]

- * When I wake up in the mornin' *

* Alarm gives out a warnin' *

* I don't think I'll ever make it on time *

[school bell ringing]

* By the time I grab my books *

* And I give myself a look *

* I'm at the corner just in time *

* It's all right, it's all right *

* Saved by the bell, it's all right *

* It's all right, saved by the bell *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell *

[school bell ringing]

- So the kids are staging a walkout at 1:00,

and I think that we, as the staff,

should walk out with them.

all: [murmur in agreement]

Now, as you may have heard,

Toddman is on administrative leave

due to a complaint made by Jade Huntington-Snell,

so he is not allowed to be here.

- Oh-ho-ho, I'm here.

Jade is trying to silence me 'cause I'm wise to the con

she's pulling on the Douglas kids.

But now it's time to stand up!

Obviously, I can't actually stand up

because Jade might see me.

Hey, Slater.

- Hey. - Ugh!

I hate that woman. People like Jade

are the reason public education in this country

is so broken.

Did you know that predominately white school districts

receive $23 billion more--

Sorry. I know, I know.

Relax, Mama.

- I wasn't gonna say that.

I would never say something like that.

I mean, maybe back in high school.

I mean, maybe every day a couple times a day

back in high school.

- It doesn't matter.

I'm glad we're all on the same page.

I'll see you at 1:00. - Okay.

- A-and I guess I told you to calm down a lot

that one summer we worked at the beach club?

And--and I think in Hawaii

and--and in Vegas, too.

[click tongue]

[indistinct chatter]

- Hey, buddy, great news. My dad's coming to the walkout.

- Wait, what? - Yeah, he was in L.A.

last night for some secret meeting

about a giant earthquake that's coming on May 14th

that I'm not supposed to tell anybody about--

- Wait, what? - And I got to talk to him.

And now, Jade and the rest of the PTA

are trying to kick them out of Bayside.

It's like a grave injustice or whatever.

- Do you hear your son?

We have raised a real prankster-turned-activist.

Like George Clooney. - Mmm.

Oh, those parents suck. You know, the Douglas kids,

they deserve to go to a great school like Bayside.

Besides, new kids keep things fresh.

Remember Tori? - Who?

- That's why you need to come to the walkout,

so you can do, like, a law that they can stay.

- Ah, listen, Mac, I know it's hard

to understand this stuff because you're a kid,

but...it's complicated.

But, hey, I've done complicated things before.

I mean, you're talking to the guy

that got Jason Statham on the California Supreme Court.

I promise you I will do everything that I can.

- Anyway, old Mac did it again.

So what time's the parade for me?

- Let's just see if he actually shows up.

- Why would he not show up? - Well,

he said it's complicated, which is grown-up speak for,

"It's not something I wanna do."

Also, it was his budget cuts

that started this mess in the first place,

and he raised you.

I mean, you're a good guy now, but up until like this week,

you were kind of a--

I don't wanna say psychopath.

More like a sociopath.

- [laughs] My dad's a great man.

Zack Morris is a legend at this school.

- Not all legends are good, Mac.

There was this legend about a guy in our neighborhood

with a hook hand.

He killed teens by getting them to sign up for the army.

[mellow music]

- He's gonna come and fix everything.

Hey, you don't know my dad.

[softly] Sociopath...

- This is gonna be pretty cool.

We haven't gathered the Bayside cliques

since we all came together

to talk Toddman out of wearing his earring.

Are you okay?

- I don't know.

- You upset about Aisha?

- No.

I'm just kinda coming to grips with the fact

that this was probably my last chance at love.

- [sighs] - I mean, I'm 16.

I can barely bench press a car anymore.

Who's gonna want me?

- I don't think you have to worry.

Basically, every girl at the school has a crush on you.

And every boy.

And most of the teachers.

And Shakira, when she came here to shoot her video.

- Come on, Lexi, not everyone has a crush on me.

- [laughs]

I did.

[gentle music]

- You did?

- Yeah, I did.

For a while. And, um...

* *

To be honest, I still do.

But it's totally cool

if you haven't thought about me that way.

- No, I have. - What?

Shut up. No.

Don't shut up. [softly] What?

- I mean...

you're like the best, you know?

You're really pretty, and you're funny,

and you're like my best friend.

But honestly,

the thing that kinda always held me back was...

- It's weird to date your best friend.

- No, I think friends can date friends.

Haven't you ever seen "Friends"?

It's just you haven't always been

the nicest?

- But I'm not mean anymore.

Why, these days, I couldn't even imagine

cyberbullying Erica into getting butt implants.

- Yeah, no, I know. Yeah, you're right.

And I'm proud of you. - Thanks.

- Yeah, sometimes it makes me wonder

what I was so scared of that whole time.

* *

- Don't sit the sci-fi nerds next to theater.

That's how Scientology was invented.

- Okay.

- No, we can find someone else, Renรฉ,

but I just feel like most marriage counselors

will have a problem with you eating tuna

through the entire session.

- Are you mad? - No, I'm not mad.

- Okay, fine. - I'll see you at the protest.

- Hey...

[clears throat] Um...

I think I owe you an apology.

- Oh, it's fine.

I knew it was a pyramid scheme when I gave you the money.

- Ugh! It's not. If you would've just found

seven friends to sell the soul bracelets to,

we'd both be millionaires by now.

Anyway, it's not that, it's just...

I-I feel bad about how I treated you

back in high school.

- What?

- Well, you're always standing up for things

that you believe in,

and I just kept telling you to calm down.

- It's okay. Probably wasn't easy

having an angry tall person constantly yelling at you.

- But you were right to be angry.

We all made fun of you, but you were the only one

who knew what was really going on.

Styrofoam is bad.

Drilling for oil on a football field is bad.

A school-sponsored bikini contest is bad.

I-I shouldn't have been telling you to calm down.

I should have been yelling right there with you.

I'm just sorry I wasn't.

- Slater, that's so nice.

But all that yelling didn't change anything.

And now these poor kids have to fight the battles

that I couldn't win.

- Yeah, but it's not just you anymore.

Back then, you were protesting alone.

Well, I guess that one time

you had that floppy-haired loser Graham with you, but...

you're not alone anymore.

All these kids,

this whole generation, they're--

they're all a bunch of Jessies.

[uplifting music]

Even the big, strong Slaters are Jessies.

You know, that's how I know

this world's gonna be just fine.

- Thanks, Slater.

- You're welcome.

And, hey, don't ever apologize for being angry.

- 'Scuse me. I don't need your permission

to feel my own feelings, you sexist pig.

- Oink, oink, baby.

- And that is why

it is so important for KTLA to be at Bayside at 1:00.

- So it's a student walkout? I could run it by my boss--

- Listen, I get it. You need a sexy hook.

How about this?

Did you know that 80% of the 35% of taxpayers

who make up 78% of-- - Oh, my God!

That's so boring.

Sir, this is a very serious issue.

The system is failing us-- - Well, not all of us.

Some of us are only looking out for themselves.

- Hey, do not tell KTLA Live at 5 my business.

both: [arguing in Spanish]

- Stop fighting. Stay on message.

- Yeah, what DeVante said. Stay on message.

Tell 'em my dad's coming.

- Wait--who's his dad? all: No one!

- The governor. He'll be there,

and that's a promise from the first boy of California.

- Now, that's a sexy hook. I'll see you there.

- Why would you do that?

- 'Cause he's gonna come and fix everything.

You're wrong about my dad.

- Or you are. Now when he doesn't show up,

the walkout's gonna look like a joke.

- Well, too bad he's definitely coming,

'cause I love jokes. Do you wanna hear one?

A woman with big, long boobs walks into a bar--

- No, thanks. - Not what we need.

- And that is why we need all the Douglas kids

and the Bayside kids to pull together

to fight for what's right. Who's with me?

- Yeah! - Whoo!

- Can I just say,

I wasn't super sure about this school at first,

but becoming friends with Lauren

and the other Future Business Leaders of America

is the best investment I've ever made.

- I love you, Tamika.

No stocks could ever beat this bond.

all: Aww.

- At 1:00 p.m. today,

we will stage a school-wide walkout.

Let's show the world they can't tear us apart,

because we are one Bayside.

- Yeah! - Whoo!

- Cool. So if nobody has any questions,

we can just, uh--yeah.

- Would we be able to start the protest with a prayer?

- Um... - No way!

What about us Atheists? I say we start with a nothing!

- We'll sidebar that. - That's--yeah.

- You know, I just thought a poetry slot

might hit the spot, unless it's too hot

in the parking lot. [overlapping groaning]

all: Boo! - What do we do?

Everybody wants to do the right thing,

but only if it's in their own stupid way.

- I don't know, maybe just give 'em a minute

and they'll work it out?

- Would we be able to do the protest at 1:30 instead?

I have a shareholder's meeting. - We all know that's code

for you have to take a dump, Lauren.

This is my future. You are not a true ally!

- Seriously, Tamika?

How could you say that to the whole cafeteria?

[students booing, shouting]

- DeVante, you might wanna tell the reporters not to come.

Everyone's fighting.

- Well, Aisha and Daisy were fighting too,

but honestly, I think they're in a good place now.

[girls arguing in Spanish]

I gotta go.

- You're not mad that I'm leaving you.

You're just mad that I'm doing something

that wasn't your idea.

- Well, you never have any good ideas.

A "macrowave" that cools down hot food?

Just wait a minute or blow on it!

- You blow on it, bitch.

both: [shouting in Spanish] - Enough!

Lexi and Jamie can't get the cliques to agree on anything,

so we don't have time for childish catfighting.

- Excuse me? - What did you just say?

- Uh-oh. - Catfighting?

Aisha is a strong, beautiful woman

voicing her opinion-- how dare you!

- And Daisy is not childish.

She's had to take care of her brother since she was a kid.

- I never said she didn't. Why y'all ganging up on me?

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute. I got it!

This is how we get the school united for the walkout.

They just need to share a common enemy.

- He's right--you and I put our differences aside

so we could defend each other

against this stupid, sexist d-bag.

- Guys, I'm a nice person.

- We just need someone that can do that for the whole school.

- Exactly! - Shut up!

- Mom, I need to ask you a question.

Do I know my father?

- Of course! It's Zack.

Why are you asking? [laughing] You're...

You're not Jeff's.

- No, I mean,

I keep telling everybody that he's gonna come today

and, like, sign an executive order

that fixes everything, but no one believes me.

- Oh, well, honey, he said he'd try his best.

- Yeah, right?

I mean, Zack Morris always does the right thing.

- Hmm. [sniffs]

Well, not always.

I mean, I told you that story back in high school

when he sold poison face cream?

Or the time he made that calendar of us

in our bathing suits and didn't get our permission?

Or that time he almost had Screech

dissected by the government?

- No, you didn't tell me any of that.

- Oh, really? Oh.

Oh, well, honey, he said he'd try his best.

- You already said that. And who's Jeff?

- Yeah, I gotta go. Bye!

[line beeps] - [scoffs]

- We think everyone will put their differences aside

if we just give them a common enemy to hate

as much as we hate bitch-ass DeVante.

- You're still mad?

I gave you the idea and I bought you both milkshakes.

- That is a great plan.

The only problem is, the enemy will have to be me.

I'm the only one capable of being mean enough.

- You're all being very rude to me now.

- Do you think you can get

the entire school mad at you in 20 minutes?

- I've done it by accident.

I can do it on purpose.

[chuckles]

- Bonjour. - Hi.

You're here early.

- You know I never miss a protest.

- Oh, thanks.

- Remember that time I went to occupy Wall Street

even though I had pink eye, and everybody caught it?

- [chuckles] Mm--

Um, is this not decaf?

'Cause you know I can't drink caffeine.

- I mean,

technically, you can drink caffeine.

You just don'tdrink caffeine.

Language matters.

Oh, come on!

You can't actually be mad about this.

- But I am.

I am so mad.

I am mad that you are my husband

but do not know one of the most fundamental things about me.

I am mad that you burn sage that I'm allergic to,

that you leave me and your son for six months at a time.

You never read my books.

Meanwhile, I proofread your very long,

very pornographic autobiography?

You don't ask me about my day, and I hate your bees.

Who buys non-honey-producing bees?

- Okay, this feels like misplaced anger.

- Oh, no, it's placed exactly where it goes.

For years, I have been protecting your feelings

at my expense, and I'm not doing it anymore,

you narcissistic fake-woke, dreamcatcher, tattoo-having,

homemade-jerky-smelling dumbass.

- I don't even know who you are anymore.

- I'm Jessie [bleep] Spano. Now, get out of my office.

[upbeat music]

- Namaste.

* *

[students arguing]

- Guys, listen.

We can't do everyone's ideas.

How are we supposed to chant "no justice, no peace"

while we're taking a vow of silence?

- I know a way.

- Whoa! What school are you from?

- Attention, sluts and losers.

I have an announcement.

This meeting is over because it has come to my attention

that every single one of you sucks ass.

- What? [indistinct chatter]

[lightly edgy music]

This school lost whatever made it great

the day the Douglas kids showed up

and everyone started pretending to be fake-ass friends,

even when we clearly hate each other!

[all booing]

- That's not true. Tamika's my friend.

- Oh, yeah, right, you don't really care about her.

- Yeah, she does. And I care about her too.

And if I make fun of her bathroom habits,

it's just because I'm jealous of her regularity.

- You're all fooling yourselves.

If you were really friends,

you would have agreed to the walkout.

Instead, you're just sitting around

like a bunch of garbage bags full of potato salad

stuffed into Gap outlet sweaters.

And I'm lookin' at you, Colt.

- This was a birthday present from Greg.

- I knitted it for him. And he looks amazing in it.

[chatter and applause]

- Aw! Blah! Gluh!

[all booing] Yeah, that's right.

Keep booing me!

[slurping sounds] That's me eating your boos.

It feeds me, you basic bitche--

- Okay, that's enough. Listen.

I think Lexi's wrong.

I think we do care about each other and we are good friends.

Now, it's 1:00, and I'm walking out.

Who's with me?

[cheers and applause] - Yeah!

* *

- Are you gonna be okay?

- I'll hold it.

[cheers and applause]

[bright music]

[camera shutters clicking]

- Daisy, this is amazing.

You did it.

You've got this.

- You know...

when I first came to Bayside,

I could never have imagined this moment--

standing side-by-side,

each of us fighting for all of us.

The only way to make sure

everyone gets a decent education

is to tie our fates together,

to reject the idea that any kid deserves more

than any other,

that any person is more valuable than--

- He's here, the most important man in the world, my daddy!

He's here to save the day.

[cheers and applause]

- Oh, my God!

Max, you actually pulled it off.

You got the Governor of California

to come to our protest!

- I'm here today not as a parent

or a politician.

I'm here as a man

who wants to be on the right side of history.

Every kid deserves a good education.

It hasn't always been the case, but that stops today.

Today we stand up and say,

"We know what the future looks like.

It looks like this."

- It's just a mural. - Thank you.

Thank you. - Hmm.

[shutters clicking, indistinct chatter]

- Thank you, thank you.

- Hey, no one wanted this, and it does nothing.

What the hell just happened?

- What just happened is my dad sucks.

- Please don't touch the paint. It's not dry.

- Okay, thank you for coming out.

God bless California.

- My dad can't do this to us.

Just wait until he finds out who my dad is.

Damn it!

- Hey, buddy, you gotta get it together.

What your dad just did, whether he knows it or not,

just made everything a billion times worse.

'Cause if he leaves after unveiling

that feel-good, do-nothing mural,

then all these people are gonna leave

feeling good and doing nothing!

- Ready to go? Let's go. Okay.

- Oh, God, he's leaving. I need someone to buy us time.

- I got this.

- Uh, yo, I'm gonna sing a song now,

and if you leave before it's over, you're a racist.

* Ah *

- Okay, we have one shot to fix this.

So what I need from you is the scheme of a lifetime.

I'm talking wigs, accents. Maybe you'll dress up

as your mom and seduce your dad in a red cocktail dress.

I don't know! I'm bad at these!

But you're not. We just need a plan

to keep your dad here and change his mind.

- No, I can't think. I--wait, wait.

[DeVante singing "Amazing Grace"]

Okay.

This is so crazy, it juuust might work.

Please fix it, Daddy.

Daddy, please!

- This was your scheme?

- Your stupid painting doesn't do anything.

They can't go to school in a painting, unless--

do you have "Harold and the Purple Crayon" technology?

- No.

- I didn't think so.

- I know you wanted more,

but even to get that stupid painting approved,

I had to call in a bunch of favors.

You asked me to do everything I could,

and like it or not, I did.

I'm sorry.

- But...

how could that be possible?

Hi. Daisy. Sophomore class president.

You're the governor. You have so much power.

- [chuckles] Listen.

I get it.

When you're a kid,

doing the right thing seems really simple.

You know, when I was your age,

I did a PSA with the president of NBC that solved drugs.

But then you grow up,

and you realize it's a lot more complicated than that.

- Okay, well, maybe I am just a dumb kid,

but can you explain what that means?

- Sure, it just means that, you know, um,

education is a really complex political issue

where you can't get anything done

without kicking a hornet's nest.

- Okay, and what does that mean?

- W-uh... kicking a hornet's nest?

It, uh, well, it just means, um,

voters and lobbyists can get, like, mad at you.

- Okay, and what does that mean?

- [stammering] It's bad is what it means.

Angry voters won't vote for you,

and corporations will give money to your opponent

where they make campaign ads

where they put you in black and white

and they go, "Zack Morris, wrong on this thing.

Wrong for California," and you won't get reelected.

- Okay, and what does that mean,

like you won't have a job anymore?

- Uh, no, I'll just go back to being a hot lawyer,

but, you know, I-I wouldn't be the governor!

- But-- - No, please, Daisy, no more.

- What does that mean?

- I'll be a loser, okay?

With no helicopter, no parades,

so secret service guys calling me the Blond Falcon.

Oh, God. Is that it?

That can't be it.

- You know what you have to do.

I came here to seduce your father

just in case he didn't do the right thing.

- Told you my idea wasn't stupid.

- * But noooow I see *

Thank you!

Thank you. Only one of you is racist.

- I had to pee!

- Hi. Governor Zack again.

I just have a little addendum to the, uh, mural thing.

Um, no big deal,

but I'm just gonna be signing a executive order

putting a three-year freeze

on all school openings and closures

until a committee can investigate

the current state of public education

and offer a workable plan for reform.

Now, I know some people may be upset by--

[phone blips] Oh.

Okay, uh,

getting a text that I'm being sued.

[phone blips] Oh.

By, uh, multiple people.

[phone blipping] And companies.

Oh, that just a CNN alert,

but it is about me being sued more.

Look, you know, it doesn't matter.

The point is, these kids are staying at Bayside.

[cheers and applause]

- Whoo! Yes! - That's what's up.

- And I wanna thank everyone who reminded me today

that doing the right thing

doesn't have to be complicated.

- Boy, you must feel like a real idiot right now.

- What? What--who-who's talking?

- I said, boy, you must feel like a real idiot--

[gags, coughs]

Ladybug... [coughs]

Down my throat.

[gagging, coughing]

Pah!

- So I guess I'll see you tomorrow

for another normal day at Bayside.

- I guess so--I still can't believe we did it.

- Daisy, youdid it.

And I'm not just talking about the walkout.

From the day that we got here,

you know that this place was unfair,

and you wouldn't shut up about it.

But look what you did.

You changed it.

- Yeah, I did.

I'm just so happy we're best friends again.

- I know, I mean, it's been so annoying

not having you around to tell me what to do.

Like, be honest.

Did I make a huge mistake with Jamie?

- Aisha, you don't need me to tell you what to do.

You got this. - Yeah.

So I'll be mature and give him space.

- No, stop being an idiot and go tell him how you feel!

God, this is the macrowave all over again.

- I'm gonna go talk to him. - Yes!

[mellow music]

- Hey. That was quite a speech.

- Yeah. Everyone hates my guts now.

You sure you wanna be seen

talking to the meanest girl in school?

- [laughs]

You made the whole school hate you

for a good cause.

That's like the nicest thing I've ever seen anyone do.

- Yeah, that is why I did it,

but the truth is,

that mean girl isn't dead and gone.

She's still a part of me, and she can show up anytime.

Like if I'm hungry

or someone asks me to go to their stupid improv show.

- It's okay. [laughs]

I like the whole Lexi.

- You do?

Shut up.

- No, you shut up.

[soft dramatic music]

* *

[upbeat music]

[indistinct chatter] - Me too.

Oh, Max, actually, I ordered cheese on mine.

- Take a look in your pocket.

Does this place ever stop being weird?

- I gotta admit-- never thought I'd say this,

but protesting is fun.

Sort of like bullying evil.

Plus, I got all my steps in, so that was cool.

- Well, it was good to see you out there.

I'm proud of us.

We've all really grown up since high school.

- Oh-- - Ooh--

- Mmm, mmm, mmm...

Oh, it was so hot when you did the right thing.

- Let's go do this in a helicopter

while we still can. - Oh, yeah, you got it,

Blond Falcon. - Oh...rarr!

[both giggling]

- Hey. - Hey, Daisy.

- Hi. - Hey, buddy.

Nice job today. - You too.

I'm really happy you guys are staying.

For my own sake.

Sometimes I think that you've taught me

almost as much as I taught you.

- What do you think you've taught me?

- I don't know-- surf culture.

Didn't I give you a makeover once?

- No. - Oh, God.

Who'd I give a makeover to?

- I'm just glad this is all behind us.

We don't have to fight these huge,

insurmountable obstacles anymore.

I just get to be a normal kid at Bayside for a while.

- Yeah. [phone chimes]

What's coronavirus?

Oh, well. Wanna go share a milkshake?

- Yeah. - The usual.

Hey, you guys want a milkshake? Daisy's buying.

- No, I'm not buying. [school bell rings]

- Yeah! [overlapping chatter]

- You guys know I don't have money, right?

- A chocolate one, please. [overlapping chatter]

[school bell rings]

- * When I wake up in the mornin' *

* An alarm gives out a warnin' *

* I don't think I'll ever make it on time *

* By the time I grab my books *

* And I give myself a look *

* I'm at the corner just in time *

* It's all right *

* It's all right, saved by the bell *

* It's all right *

* It's all right, saved by the bell *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell *

* *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell *

* *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell *

* *

* It's all right *

* It's all right, saved by the bell *

* It's all right *

* It's all right, saved by the bell *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell *

[school bell rings]

- That was the best song you ever wrote, Natalie.

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