Original subtitles

- You know--you know, a lot of people said

we'd never beat Valley,

but we proved them wrong tonight!

[cheers and applause]

For the past 15 years,

I thought I needed to save this team,

but, well, the truth is,

the one who really needed saving,

you know who he was?

He--

- What's up? We're back.

[cheers and applause]

- Me. It was me.

- I didn't know you guys were coming.

- Oh, it's homecoming weekend.

- Hi. - Hey.

- Yeah. - Wish we could have

seen the game, but on the way here

we had sex in the limo. - We got a flat tire.

- Mm. - Come on, come on,

let's sit down, you guys. Let's sit down.

- Oh, look at this.

- Wow. - It's so great to be back.

- Oh, I have so many fond memories of this place.

I mean, this is where I was crowned homecoming queen.

- And where Casey Kasem kept hosting those

nationally televised dance contests for some reason.

- Guys, we can talk about old times all day,

but I wanna hear what's new. Come on, Governor Preppie.

Tell us what it's like running California.

- Well, I met with a seismologist

who said our next earthquake

will be an extinction-level event.

Everyone who survives will wish they had died.

- Hey, remember when we dressed Screech up as an alien?

- Oh, totally. - That was the best.

[school bell rings]

- * When I wake up in the mornin' *

* An alarm gives out a warnin' *

* I don't think I'll ever make it on time *

* By the time I grab my books *

* And I give myself a look *

* I'm at the corner just in time *

* To see the bus fly by *

* *

* It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell *

* *

- As you know, every year

we throw a big homecoming fundraiser in the gym.

But tonight's event will be an even bigger deal than usual.

I have just received word that in attendance

will be the First Lady and the governor of California.

Again, the governor--

- Mac's dad? Big deal.

- My dad's also coming.

- I don't care about your dad, Spencer.

I only care about Zack and Kelly, okay?

Let's move on to the volunteer assignments.

I'm gonna need a couple of folks to work valet.

That looks like Braden and Aisha and Jamie.

- All right. Can we get vests?

Ooh, what if my arms get cold? Can our vests have arms?

- Also, we're gonna need volunteers

to man the mashed potato bar.

Nadia, Devante, and we're also gonna need volunteers

for fundraising to help Lexi.

- Thank you, Ron. - A speech is not necessary.

- We will be collecting donations for

the Bayside Enrichment Fund.

The PTA uses this money to make Bayside better for all of us

by purchasing things like new computers and breast reductions

for the lunch ladies.

I will require a fleet of dedicated minions

who are immune to verbal abuse.

So...who's in?

Any volunteers?

Anyone? I just need one person.

So no one's gonna raise their hand?

- Lexi. Hey, Lexi. Why don't you want my help?

- Oh, it's nothing personal. I just think you'll be bad

at fundraising because of who you are as a person.

- Um, I'll have you know I sold the most candy bars

for my YMCA summer camp, and the box they gave me

was, like all plains, no crunchies.

- Listen, Bayside fundraising is a different animal.

Sucking up to rich people,

hiding how you really feel about them--

that's not exactly your thing.

- Hey, there, how's my fundraising star doing?

- Great, Mrs. Huntington-Snell.

We're gonna beat last year's record--I just know it.

- Mm. [chuckles]

- [speaking Spanish] - Daisy.

- What? She doesn't know what I said.

- Yes, I do.

I studied abroad in "Barthelona."

[Lexi giggles]

- Look, we both know Jade sucks,

but we need her and the other alumni's money for the school.

- That just doesn't seem right.

Like my abuela always says, if you lie in bed with snakes,

don't be surprised when you get bit.

- Well, take it from someone who was bitten by a snake

while making a Britney Spears TikTok.

This is how it works. You need to kiss ass

to get rich people's money, and I knew you couldn't do it,

'cause you have "morels" or whatever.

- Morals? - Is that how you say it? Ew.

- No, if the school needs money,

I'll help you get it, whatever it takes.

- Okay, fine. Welcome aboard.

Don't wear that.

- So last night was fun.

- Yeah, just like old times,

except, like, not fun.

- And really not like old times.

Why was it so weird?

- Huh.

- Were we being too sexy?

- Oh, we're always too sexy.

And did you feel like Slater kept taking

little jabs at me, like calling me

Governor Preppie and bragging about not having a dad bod.

I mean, I have a single man bod, right?

- Honey, you were voted second-hottest governor

in America after Michigan's Gretchen Whitmer.

And also, did you notice that Jessie kept going on

and on about her books

and didn't ask me one question about my business?

I bet she thinks it's stupid.

- Uh, how can it be stupid?

It came to you in a dream,

and your psychic said it was rad.

- You know, enough negativity.

We got all of the awkwardness out of the way.

I bet tonight is gonna be great.

- Man, it is so hot when you're cheerful and optimistic.

I'm so glad you're the only woman

I've ever been with in my entire life.

- Oh.

- Okay, I've got it,

the perfect homecoming prank.

No, I would have to move the whole school 5 feet

to the left, and I don't have time for that!

Why can't you think of a prank, Little Mac, you hot loser?

Argh.

- Hey, pal, you ready to go?

both: Whoa, you look amazing,

and your hair is fire.

- It's awesome you're here for homecoming, Dad.

- Oh, I know. I miss you so much.

Sacramento sucks.

I wish the capital could be somewhere cool

like Malibu or the Grove.

- I miss you too. It's hard... [phone chiming]

- Ugh, give me two seconds. - Okay.

- Yeah.

Well, how are the mudslides still out of control?

Can't we just dry them up or something?

I don't know, with like a million hair dryers.

I'm not a scientist, Roy.

Okay. Keep me posted.

Roy.

- Roy. - Right?

- Right. - Ugh.

You know, when I was your age, my biggest problem

was choosing which prank to pull for homecoming.

- Yeah, I feel that.

- So you got something good planned for tonight?

- I was actually thinking,

what if I didn't do a prank this year?

You know, 'cause everyone's expecting me to do something,

and then if I don't do anything,

that's the greatest prank of all.

- Yeah, right.

That's what you said before my inauguration,

and I ended up getting sworn in with my hand

on a stack of "Playboys."

[laughter]

- Yeah. - [laughs]

[upbeat jazzy music]

- So on Saturdays I do arms.

Now, people say to take Sunday off as a recovery day,

but then again, most people don't look like this.

What about you, Governor Preppie?

You, uh, getting to the gym much these days or what?

- Not really, you know, 'cause my schedule's

just so packed.

I mean, it's just too bad the governor

doesn't get summers off.

- So you must be pretty busy too, Kelly.

What's going on with your new company?

- Well, it's more of a wellness brand.

Our mission is to encourage positivity through

manifestation and actualized optimism.

- Oh, that's so cool. So what is the company?

- Well, it's more of a wellness brand.

It's called Dr. Happy, and-- - Wait.

Who's the doctor? - Me. I'm a doctor of optimism.

- But you can't call yourself doctor.

I mean, I'm a doctor,

but I got my PhD in educational psychology.

- Actually, "doctor" is just a label, like "all-natural."

Oh, did I mention that we're actually selling

an all-natural rejuvenation supplement?

Yeah, it's doctor recommended...by me.

- Except "doctor" is not just a "label."

It's a title that you earn through years

and years of hard work.

- Now, this is what I like to see,

the old gang back together again.

Don't forget, the alumni photo's at 10:00.

It's at 10:00, so don't forget.

- We'll be there, Ron. Don't worry.

Have you guys met before?

- Of course. Governor Morris, so good to see you again.

Ron Toddman.

It's been a while. You look great.

- Well, thank you, Mr. Toadman.

Uh, if you'll excuse me, uh, I have to take a call.

- Ah.

Hi.

- I know that sounded like a lame excuse, but...

I also have to take a call.

- Wow, what an amazing life story.

So you went from Bayside

to college to law school to your uncle's firm?

- Mm-hmm. - I have chills.

[record scratch] - Time-out.

So I looked this dude up.

Apparently, he represents ExxonMobil and tried

to sue the ocean for diluting their oil.

But it's cool. I can be nice.

- Like, they could make a movie about your life, right, Daisy?

Who do you think could play Mr. Winston in a movie, Daisy?

- I don't know, like, white Shrek?

- Excuse us.

What the hell?

We're never gonna reach our fundraising goal

if you keep serving savage burns like that.

- I'm sorry, but I don't think

we should have to kiss up to some evil creep

just 'cause he donated...$30?

Are you kidding me?

You're a millionaire, and you write a check for $30?

- I was always planning on giving more.

It's not because I overheard anything.

This is not a tear.

I just spilled a drop of clear juice.

- Um, do you understand what just happened?

- No, but I rarely understand rich people behavior.

- I thought the only way to get people to open their wallets

was to make them feel good about themselves.

I never considered making them feel like trash.

Do it again. Excuse me, sir,

would you like to contribute to the Bayside Enrichment Fund?

- We already gave. - And how much did you spend

on your Christmas lights this year?

- We'd love to give again.

- Did you hear that dig about teachers having summers off?

- [scoffs] He's got a lot of nerve.

I'm working every day of the summer,

Monday abs, Tuesday arms, Wednesda--

- I mean, I love Kelly, but that business?

I don't think even she knows what that is.

- Screech is so lucky he and Kevin

get to live on the International Space Station

so he doesn't have to deal with all this.

- I hate to say it, but Zack and Kelly have changed.

They're so self-absorbed now.

- Well, I guess that's what happens

when you move to Sacramento.

You go Hollywood. - It makes me sad.

I just want it to be like old times.

- Well, unfortunately, it can't,

not unless you have a time machine.

- Slater, that's it. You're a genius.

- I'm really not.

I've been taking this Ukrainian protein powder

that I just found out ensmallens your brain.

- Our class time capsule, let's dig it up,

and then the four of us can go through it together,

and maybe it'll give us a chance to remember

why we were friends in the first place.

- Are we sure we shouldn't just swipe some beers

and hang out in my office instead?

I just got the Lakers' version of Monopoly.

I'll go get my shovel.

Oh, my God, look, somebody's already here.

Come on, let's go.

I wanna get the time capsule, but it's not worth our lives.

- Oh, it's just Zack and Kelly. Stop hiding behind me.

- Oh, hey. - What are you guys doing here?

- I think the same thing you are.

all: Trying to go back to the time

when we were all best friends!

- Hey.

Huh.

- Look at this pager. Oh, that mixtape's bomb.

- Zack, you saved my life that night.

I will be celebrating 30 years caffeine-free this April.

I would love for you all to be there.

- Oh, we wouldn't miss it.

- Oh, my gosh, you guys, remember?

- No. - You guys put on "Swan Lake,"

'cause that was the only way I could graduate.

Wait, why was it the only way I could graduate?

- And you remember this?

You guys helped my grandfather save his Hawaiian hotel.

- Yes. - Oh.

You guys, let's go to Hawaii this year together.

- Oh. - Love that.

- Awesome.

- Oh, I didn't even see this, you guys.

Oh, little note,

"For Slater, love, your best friend, Preppie."

You were always doing stuff like this, man,

surprising me with little gifts you knew I'd adore.

- Was I? 'Cause that doesn't really seem

like something I would do.

Oh-ho-ho-ho, okay.

Oh, that seems like something I would do.

- Yeah.

[upbeat jazzy music]

* *

- Whew.

- Hey, Van, you're a straight shooter.

Can I ask you a question?

- Not my nickname, and I'm kind of in the middle of something.

- Oh, it'll be quick, but two moments of your time.

Do you think the reason I have pranker's block

is because of some deep, underlying emotional issue,

or is the muse just being coy?

- Oh, the muse one. - But here's the weird thing.

I pulled an awesome prank yesterday.

I have a delicious one planned for tomorrow,

and yet tonight my dad is here--unrelated--

and I can't think of one. Why?

- So I don't have time to go on a "Field of Dreams"

white boy journey with you right now,

so I'm just gonna say it, cool? It's your dad.

Yeah, man, like basically everyone else,

you have some weird issues with your pops.

Now excuse me.

- Oh, wow, Mason. Have you been working out?

- I have not. - Damn it.

- Why would you say that about my dad?

- Oh, damn it. - How can he be the problem?

He's never around.

You're wrong, Te.

- Another nickname no one has ever called me.

- I gotta go, but only because my pranker's block is cured,

not because anything you said was true.

- What the hell, man? You poisoned me.

Oh, my God, this tastes just like the protein powder.

My brain can't get any more ensmallened.

I can't believe you did this.

- Oh, well, I didn't do it.

18-year-old me did it. - You know what?

You were selfish then, and you're even selfisher now.

- Slater, that's not really a word.

- Don't correct his grammar.

What are you, a word doctor now too?

- A word doctor? You mean philologist?

- Oh, shut up.

You guys have become so self-involved.

- Weare self-involved?

Oh, please, all you do is brag about your book,

and all he does is brag about his body.

- No, no, no, no, no, don't try to turn this around on us.

You ruined my tux, and by the way,

this is John Cena for David's Bridal.

- Yeah, we're not selfish. You're selfish.

- No, you're selfish.

- And you are the selfishest. - You are selfish.

Oh, you are selfish. - Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up! You're all selfish!

None of you-- not one of you remembers me,

even though I went to school with you.

- What? No, you didn't.

- Yes, I did.

Slater, I've worked with you for 15 years.

Not once did you look me in the eye and just remember

your old high school bud, Ron-Ron Toddman.

And then you started working here, and I thought,

"Well, this is it. Jessie's a good person.

She'll remember me, surely," but no!

And then tonight, like an idiot,

I got my hopes up one last time.

I thought, "If the gang's all together, well, then

there's certainly something that will spark their memory."

We would take the alumni photo together,

and then we would all laugh

about what a funny misunderstanding this was.

But of course that didn't happen,

because the only thing you four care about is yourselves!

- Wait. Were you Belding?

- No, I was a cool teen,

just like you.

- Wait a minute. Is the gossip really true?

You and Slater are-- dare I say the word--a couple?

- Well, yeah, kinda-sorta. - This is so exciting.

- Hey, guy. - Got some good stuff here.

- Oh, hey, thanks, man.

- Nobody told me this was a drugs party.

- Here, Kel, take a hit. - Kelly, don't do it.

It's not who we are.

Kelly!

[upbeat electronic music]

You guys look great!

- Zack and Kelly,

two people destined for each other.

- * Mmm-mmm *

- They deserve every happiness in the world.

- Shh! - Shh!

- Those are two of the finest people I have ever known.

- Oh, no, Ron-Ron... - Oh, boy.

- Were you at our wedding?

- Uh, yeah, I sure was.

Oh, and thanks for doing a prank on Slater in my office.

I paid my own money to get those windows cleaned.

- Mm.

- How could I have worked with Toddman for so long

and not remembered him?

And this is less important,

but someone please tell me we don't look the same age.

- Maybe he's lying.

I mean, are we sure this isn't some kind of trick?

- I know who we can ask. Come here.

- Hi, guys!

- Lisa! - Hey, Lisa.

- Hi.

- I hope we didn't wake you. I know you're on Paris time.

- Oh, that's not a problem.

I do all my fittings in the morning,

because the models are quiet and hungover.

What's up?

- Hey, listen, do you remember a guy

from high school named Ron Toddman?

- Ron-Ron Toddman? Of course.

I love that guy. How's he doing?

- Uh, yeah, not great. Uh, he sort of hates us,

'cause we kind of forget he existed.

- You all forgot him?

Jessie, he saved your life

when you ran your ATV into the ocean.

- My God. - Yes.

- Oh, God. Maybe we are kind of selfish.

- Well, you guys are gonna have to find a way

to make it up to him. [door opens]

I've got to go.

My lovers are waking up.

Au revoir.

all: Au revoir.

- Oh.

- Oh, man, we--ooh, we really suck.

- So, uh, you ever been to a movie?

- What? Say it again?

- Nah, it's just, like, you know, what kind of movies

you be at, though?

- I'm so sorry. I still don't understand you.

- Nah, just, like--

- Guess what. - Thank God.

- I rigged that giant pot of gravy above the stage.

- Say what?

- When my dad takes his place for the alumni photo,

I hit this little button, and bam, gravy town, USA.

So by your logic, I obviously don't have issues with my dad,

or else I wouldn't have been able to pull off

this awesome prank. Right?

- Look, man, I don't know you that well.

- Uh, that hurt.

I thought we were really good friends.

- If you say you don't have issues with your dad,

then maybe you don't, but pranker's block or not,

if you want to spend more time with him,

you--you have to ask him.

But I get it. It's, like--it's scary,

and what if he says no?

- Yeah, it is scary...

how consistently wrong you've been about my problems.

- Okay. I'm gonna go pour gravy

on my dad and make everything better.

- Well, good luck. - You actually don't say

good luck in the prank community.

You say, "And a pie in your face, my comrade."

- I'm not gonna say that.

- Well, it'd be weird if you did.

You're not in the community.

- Kelly, I feel so bad.

- I know. I just remembered.

I think Toddman gave us his grandmother's piano

as a wedding present.

- No, no, no, no, about what I said to you.

You don't need a fancy degree to help people.

Being a doctor has always just been my thing,

and I think I just felt threatened.

- Threatened by me?

Oh, Jessie, you're the one who inspired me

to want a career in the first place.

Whenever I have to psyche myself up,

I read an excerpt from your book,

"Too Tall to Fail."

- You do? Oh, Kelly.

Well, you're an inspiration to me too.

You and Zack seem so happy.

I mean, you guys have really figured it out. Rene and I--

- Is everything okay? - Not really.

He admitted in our last therapy session

that he was having an emotional affair

with a character from his novel.

I think she's pregnant now.

- Oh, I'm sorry. - Yeah.

- And it must be especially hard since you work here.

- Oh, no, I love working here.

I get to be close to Jamie and help the kids.

- Oh, I just meant it must be hard because Slater

is obviously still in love with you.

- What? Wait, no.

You are--wait, no.

Say it again. No, don't, don't.

- Do you think about him? - Kelly, I'm married.

- So...do you think the boys made up?

- I don't know.

Those two have always been competitive,

and it's harder for guys to express their emotions.

- I just feel so bad about Ron-Ron.

Oh, everyone should get to have friends like I did.

- No, everyone should get to have friends like you do.

- Friends forever?

- Friends for--oh, my God.

I think I know how we can make it up to Ron.

- All right, look, we only have this photographer

for ten more minutes, so we just gotta get this done.

- Wait, wait, there's four friends

you almost forgot about.

- That's right, Ron, and we have a message for you,

a message about friendship and the amount of time

that it lasts.

A-one, two, three!

all: * Friends forever *

* We'll be friends *

both: * We'll be friends *

* Talking about *

all: * Friends forever *

- Hey! Stop it!

Stop singing!

What is this?

Look, I just wanted to get one photograph

and to be acknowledged as a human being.

Why are you doing this to me?

- We're just trying to say we're sorry.

- So say sorry.

What's this song? - You know, this is our

hit song from the famous rock band we were in.

Oh, you know why this means nothing to you

that I'm just realizing now?

Our band was only famous in a dream that I had.

- Mm. - Just get in the picture.

And now that you're wearing these dumb costumes,

I can't even use this in the brochure.

- Get ready, Dad.

- On the count of three, one, two--

- Wait, wait, wait, hold on, Ron.

Again, we are so sorry. Why don't you come join us?

Come in this picture, pal. - Yeah, yeah.

- You're part of this class. Come on.

- Come on. Take my spot, front and center. Come on.

- All right, fine. - There we go.

- Oh, no, no...

- One, two, three.

- Oh! - Oh...

[murmuring, giggling]

You...

guys. [laughs]

Was this whole night you pranking me?

Oh, man,

you got me!

You--you really got me!

[laughter]

Wait, wait, when did you realize who I was?

- We've known the entire time.

Friends forever.

- Man, it's great to be back

with the old gang.

- There he is. Killer prank, Mac.

I'm gonna try that on my lieutenant governor.

Dude hates me so much.

- Thanks, Dad. - Yeah.

Oh, Mom's gonna take you home, okay?

I gotta get to the "choppa."

You okay?

- Hell, yeah. I just pulled the prank of a lifetime.

- Yeah, you did.

That's my boy. [chuckling]

- Hey, Dad. - Yeah, son.

- Do you think when you get back,

we could do a prank together?

I heard of this crazy one where we take a baseball,

and I throw it into your hands, and you throw it into mine,

and we do it until it gets dark,

and then Mom's like, "Come in for dinner, boys,"

and then we eat together...

you know, like as a prank.

- Yeah.

Yeah, I like that.

A pie in your face, my comrade.

- A pie in your face, my comrade.

- Hey, Nadia.

- Hey.

- Um, d--

- "The Secret Life of Pets 2."

- What?

- Is a movie I've been at, though.

- Oh. Cool.

- Hey.

- Valet went great.

- No, no, it didn't.

How was fundraising? - Oh, Daisy killed it.

She collected so much money, and made four old men cry.

I'm just so proud of you.

- Guess I really am a Bayside kid.

[applause] - Good evening.

Jade Huntington-Snell, Tanner's mom.

I am so overwhelmed by the generosity in this room.

We have surpassed our goal

for the Bayside Enrichment Fund tonight.

[applause]

But in the true spirit of charity, the PTA,

as led by me,

has chosen to put it toward a different

but equally important cause-- reopening Douglas High.

[applause]

- I'm confused. That sounded bad,

but she said it in a happy way, so was that good?

- No, it is not.

- It means they're kicking us out of Bayside

and sending us back to Douglas.

- Oh, my God, you were right.

We laid down with snakes.

- And we got bit.

[upbeat music]

* *

[together] * Friends forever *

- * We'll be friends forever *

* We'll be friends *

[together] * With you everywhere *

- * Talking about *

[together] * Friends forever *

- * Always be there *

[together] * Always will be friends *

all: * We'll be there *

- * Through it all, hangin' tough *

- * We'll stay side by side *

* We'll be friends forever *

all: * Till the end of time *

* Friends forever *

- * Always be friends *

- * With you everywhere *

- * We'll be friends together *

[together] * Friends forever *

* Oh, oh, oh, oh *

- That was the best song you ever wrote, Zack.