Original subtitles

[bell rings]

? When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning ?

? I don't think I'll ever make it on time ?

? By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ?

? I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ?

? If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ?

? And my dog ate all my homework last night ?

? Ridin' low on my chair, she won't know that I'm there ?

? If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ?

[panting rhythmically]

Mr. Belding, Mr. Belding, are you O.K.?

Did you have chili on your cheerios again?

I'm practicing for childbirth class.

During labor, Mrs. B will need coaching to control her breathing,

and I want to be the best breather she can have.

You'll do fine. No one blows hot air like you.

Oh... uh... the baby.

Still due on the 15th, right?

In two weeks I'll be a father. Can you believe it?

Two weeks. I've got to practice harder.

[panting]

15th.

Let's see.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

All right, people! Step right up!

The Baby Belding Pool's officially open.

Predict the birth date and win big bucks.

How much is it to play?

It's 10 bucks for every day you pick.

Give me the 11th.

That's the number of hairs on my chest.

That'll be 15 bucks.

I thought it was 10.

There's a $5.00 handling fee.

All right.

Still ripping off the nerds?

I prefer calling it overcharging the less cool.

Let me guess-- the baby's due on the 15th.

How'd you guess?

Because you've got it and the days around it.

It's my pool, and I'll cheat if I want to.

Zack, you said I'd get first pick.

Now there's hardly any days left.

I'm sorry, Screech.

To show I'm fair,

I'll give you today and tomorrow for half price.

You call that a deal?

Fine. I'll give you all of last week, too.

Now you're speaking my language.

Pack it up, Zack.

We've got a physics midterm in two minutes.

Physics midterm is today?

Isn't that great? It's going to be a killer.

How could you forget about the biggest test of the year?

I didn't really forget. It's no big deal.

I'm dead.

Welcome, mein kinder.

Ready for our little examination?

I couldn't sleep last night I was so excited.

Please tell me you've filled the test with brain-busters.

Mein Screech, I, myself, could not answer zem all!

Wunderbar!

Mr. Heimlich?

I'm feeling hot and tingly.

Maybe I should skip the test and go see the nurse.

Nonsense! You're just excited about ze examination.

Let's begin, ja?

[buzz buzz buzz buzz]

All right! Earthquake drill.

Everyone, underneath your desks.

Penny, Brenda, under with me.

[giggling]

What's going on? What's an earthquake drill?

You just practice protecting yourself from falling debris.

Besides, it gives you a chance to do your nails.

Couldn't we do a fire drill? I'm better at those.

There's nothing to it.

Just get under your desk, tuck yourself into a ball.

Excuse me...

Mr. Heimlich?

Ja?

Shouldn't we be evacuating to the football field?

Absolutely correct, Herr Morris.

Come. We march to safety.

But, sir, what about ze test?

Screech, don't bother Mr. Heimlich with trivial things.

He is in the process of leading us to safety.

For you, Herr Screech,

tomorrow's make-up will be a doozy!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

What is going on here?

Where's everybody coming from?

The football field. We just had the earthquake drill.

I didn't hear any--

Oh, my gosh.

I must have passed out doing my breathing exercises.

I gotta stop thinking about that kid so much when I'm at school.

You won't have any more problems today. School's over.

School's over? Oh, no. I'm late for childbirth class.

How close are we to an earthquake fault line?

Will we get sucked into the ground?

Girl, give those lips a rest!

What's going on?

Tori's going on and on and on!

She's been rattling my brain about earthquakes ever since the drill.

Tori, you're not afraid of earthquakes, are you?

Hey, just think of it as land surfing.

I'm not afraid.

I've just never experienced one before. I'm curious.

I wouldn't worry about the actual earthquake, Tori.

It's the floods, fires, and looters that'll kill you.

This stuff really happens?

Yeah. Sometimes there's mega after-shocks.

The best was in the movie "Earthquake."

Total destruction. Way cool.

You ought to rent the video, Tori.

It's like you're really in an earthquake.

Gee, I can hardly wait.

We don't have to. It feels like this.

Hi, everybody.

Hey, Tori.

Tori, you can take off the helmet.

The booth is pretty safe.

Oh, yeah.

Right.

So, Tori, what's in the bag?

Oh, nothing.

Some snacks, stuff for later.

Oh.

So, are you planning a weenie roast?

The truth is this is an earthquake survival kit.

There's nothing wrong with being prepared.

No, and the hot dogs make a great choice.

You can cook the hot dogs at any of the unstoppable gas fires.

A real survival kit has canned foods,

batteries, bottled water,

stuff like that.

You've really got to stop worrying.

Yeah, she's right. There's more frightening things --

tomorrow's physics test.

Oh, no. What did I do?

It must have been bad if he came all the way to the Max to get you.

Mr. Belding, Zack's here. Sit with us.

You were born an idiot,

and you're still an idiot.

Slater, could you slide over? Thank you.

Mr. and Mrs. B, what brings you here?

We were on our way home from childbirth class

when Mrs. B had a sudden food craving.

I think I'd like french fries with hot fudge.

Are you sure you want fries?

You look a little heavier than the last time I saw you.

Screech, you haven't seen me in almost nine months.

I've put on 30 pounds.

30 pounds? Mr. B, 86 those fries.

It's diet time, lady!

Mrs. B, have you had a baby shower?

Oh, several.

Seems like everybody I ever met threw me a party.

Except us.

We sort of had a shower planned for you tomorrow.

- We did? - We did?

Yes. Tomorrow.

During 7th period. Remember?

Oh, that's right!

- 7th period. - Oh, yeah!

Oh, kids, that is so sweet.

But what about physics?

We were sort of hoping you could speak to Mr. Heimlich, and--

Never mind, sir. It was wrong to ask.

Ask what?

Well, we're too afraid to ask Mr. Heimlich

to be excused from class.

He is scary, sir.

You're probably afraid of him, too.

Hah!

I can outmaneuver Heimlich.

Hee hee.

Let me handle it.

Tomorrow, 7th period,

everyone has permission to come to the shower.

That's nice! Oh!

Oh...

I didn't think you'd be that happy, dear.

I'm not happy. I'm in pain.

The baby! Oh, no!

The baby's coming now.

O.K., stay calm! Relax!

I'm in control. Let's get you to the hospital!

Hey!

Are you sure it's just an upset stomach?

I guess all those french fries got to me.

I have the same problem whenever I eat garbanzo beans.

Gosh, I'm sorry, Becky.

I don't know how I made such a mistake.

The car's running.

Honey, wait.

It's not labor, just a bad case of indigestion.

Happens every day at the Max.

Really? No labor.

False alarm.

That was a close one.

I'm exhausted!

Oh!

Me, too.

Richard, I think I'll need something to settle my stomach.

Would you order me a ginger ale

with a big scoop of peanut butter?

Gosh, that's my favorite combination, too!

Well, Screech, maybe you're pregnant.

Oh, Lisa, don't be ridiculous.

I'm not even married.

Here you go, Mrs. B.

This gift will be good for a boy or girl.

A very large boy or girl.

How nice! The baby will grow into it.

Yeah, like in 16 years.

These you'll love.

A shower cap,

shampoo, and...

Soap on a rope.

Thanks.

You peanut brain! Why did you get those weird gifts?

'Cause this is a shower,

and some people use soap in the shower.

Duh.

Anyway,

this gift is for you, Mr. Belding.

A gift for me? I can't believe it.

If you don't want it, I'll take it.

Oh, great.

This is the most important coaching I'll ever do.

My sister had a baby last year, and I was her coach.

You'll do great, Mr. Belding.

You guys are terrific.

Thank you for the baby shower.

Anytime. No problem. Mrs. B.

Thank you, Slater.

[bell rings]

Oh, man! 7th period is over.

We missed the physics test.

Oh, yeah. Too bad.

Don't worry.

I arranged for Mr. Heimlich to give you the midterm on Monday.

That gives him two extra days to make it really tough.

That gives me two extra days to figure out how to kill you.

We'd better get going to the swim meet.

Thanks again.

I'll take some of these to the car.

Let me help you.

O.K., great.

Uh... oh, drat!

I must have left my keys in my office.

Becky, I'll be right back.

- Mr. Belding? - Yeah?

We'll take Mrs. Belding down the faculty elevator

and meet you at the car.

You need keys to the elevator.

Don't worry. I already have one.

You have a key to the faculty elevator?

Yeah. It's a safety precaution.

In case all the teachers are rendered helpless,

I'm next in command.

We'll see about that.

Come on, Screech.

There you are.

Right this way, Mrs. Belding.

All right.

By the way, Mrs. B,

I'd really appreciate it if you could have the baby around the 15th.

Why, Zack? Are you running a pool?

Talks about me at home, doesn't he?

[rumbling]

[screaming]

W-What's happening?

I think it's an earthquake.

An earthquake? Are you kidding me?

It's an earthquake! Get into a doorway!

Oh, my gosh! It's a volcano!

No, Screech, it's an earthquake.

Don't panic.

Aah!

Quick, get under my desk.

Oh, no! Becky's in the elevator.

When's it going to stop? Make it stop!

Calm down. We'll be O.K.

Oh!

The lights!

Calm down!

Did we make it to the ground floor?

I think we lost power.

Those are the emergency lights.

The shaking stopped. Is it over?

I think so.

What's wrong?

Why won't the elevator start?

We've got to get out.

We have to wait till the power comes back on.

Don't worry. They'll have us out of here in no time.

That's not it. I'm having the baby!

You're having the baby now?

Y-Yes.

No, you can't. There's no doctor.

Besides, today's not my day in the baby pool.

There's going to be an after-shock.

Sorry, Zack. It's sort of out of my hands.

I wish Richard were here.

He's such a calming influence.

I've got to get to Becky!

I'll help you, sir!

Will you just follow me?

Right.

Here, hold this.

Whoops!

Oh!

Oh, great!

I'm locked in my office.

I can't get to my wife.

Maybe the phone works.

It's dead. Now what?

I've got an idea. Bring me the shower gifts.

What are you going to do?

I saw this on MacGyver when he had to break out of a room.

How can I help?

Looks like I'm going to need the baby key ring

and the soap on a rope.

Baby key ring.

Soap on a rope.

[whistling]

Screech!

O.K., if I insert the key just like so

and turn it like--

Oops.

What do you mean, oops?

I'm going to need one of the stuffed animals.

What's this for?

To keep us entertained. We're going to be in here for a while.

Hello, Mr. Belding.

I'm Harry the Hippo.

I'll get us out of here!

Help!

Lisa, I think it's O.K. to come out now.

The quake's over.

What happened to your clothes?

Hmm? Oh, the lockers fell over when I was changing.

I couldn't get them out.

I'm glad I wasn't in the shower.

Here, put this on.

It might be tight, but it matches.

Help!

- Help! - [in hippo voice] Help!

Mr. Belding?

Screech? Is that you?

Yes.

And Harry the Hippo, too!

Are you guys O.K.?

We're fine, but we can't open the door.

The knob won't turn.

Something must have jammed the lock.

Stand back. I'll kick it open.

All right, go ahead.

Thanks, Slater.

You guys O.K.?

How's the rest of the school?

Are you guys all right? Any injuries?

Not that we saw-- some lockers toppled over.

We've got to find Mrs. B.

I like the sweater,

but if you're going to wear a skirt, shave your legs.

All right, try and stay calm.

They'll be coming for us real soon... I hope.

Oh!

I want to get out.

The power will come back. It takes time!

Oh!

No time left. I'm starting to push!

Need help.

We're here for you, Mrs. B.

Tori, I can't do this alone.

Tori, get yourself together.

You helped your sister before, now help me!

I can't. I'm scared!

Mrs. Belding needs us.

Ooh!

Tori.

O.K., I'll try.

Where do we start? What do we do?

Mrs. B needs to concentrate on a focal point,

like a picture or something.

I've got loads of pictures.

We have Joanna, Jennifer, Mindy--

Mindy's fine!

Oh, boy! Here we go again.

Try breathing like me, O.K.?

Not you -- Mrs. Belding.

Oh, right. What do I do?

Hold up the picture for her to focus on.

How's that, Mrs. B?

Upside down.

Sorry.

Becky! Becky, are you in there?

Yes. We're stuck between floors.

I never realized how much Mrs. B sounds like Zack.

Are you guys O.K.?

Yeah, we're fine.

Oh!

Uh, did I mention Mrs. B's having her baby?

Becky, you're in labor?

[screaming]

I think that was a yes.

Mr. Belding, don't worry.

Tori's got her doing her breathing.

I've got her concentrated on a focal point.

Pete, find the nearest working telephone

and call 9-1-1.

Let them know we have people stuck in an elevator

and one of them is having a baby.

Right.

What was that number again?

9-1-1. Go!

I'm breathing with you, Becky.

You can do it.

[panting]

Mrs. B, you're doing great.

Keep focusing on this picture.

She's very pretty.

She was a transfer student from Greece last year.

Oh, what a girl.

Excuse me, Zorba. Mrs. B is trying to have a baby.

Oh, right. Sorry.

Oh, boy!

Uh...

O.K., you ready for the push?

1, 2, 3, push!

Oh, and 1, 2, 3, breathe.

Ahh!

O.K., one more.

1, 2, 3, push!

And 1, 2, 3, breathe. Real good.

Hey, Mr. Belding,

I can see the baby's head.

He or she's got a full head of hair.

Did you hear that? My kid's got hair!

Probably from Mrs. B's side of the family.

Come on, Becky. A little more.

You can do it!

Keep on pushing.

[baby cries]

That's my baby crying.

I'm a daddy.

Hey, the power's back on.

Congratulations, Mr. Belding.

Becky.

I knew that jersey would get a lot of use.

What is it?

It's a baby. Duh!

Say hello to your new baby boy.

He's...

He's beautiful.

Well, kid, looks like you made it through your first earthquake O.K.

Hey, so did you.

This has been quite a day.

Yeah, especially for me --

today was my day in the baby pool. I won!

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