Original subtitles

[bell rings]

? When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning ?

? I don't think I'll ever make it on time ?

? By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ?

? I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ?

? If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ?

? And my dog ate all my homework last night ?

? Ridin' low on my chair, she won't know that I'm there ?

? If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ?

Welcome to drama class.

I'm Bayside's finest actor.

I've performed so well in the principal's office,

I should win an Oscar.

Good afternoon, young men and women of the theater.

Good afternoon, Mr. Baimbridge.

Today let's get in touch with our emotions.

Our sentence for today is, "the sun is shining outside my window."

Screech, your turn today.

Say it with, uh... Sadness, huh?

[tearfully] The sun...

[voice breaks] is shining...

[squeaky voice] outside my window.

Oh, no!

Excellent!

Here's a handkerchief.

Pffft!

Today we're going to pick our annual school play.

Are there any suggestions?

Let's do last year's play.

We already know the lines.

I'm so very impressed with you, Mr. Morris.

You've turned loafing into an art form.

Anyone else?

- Chorus Line. - Cats.

Phantom of the Opera.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

That's a great idea.

You can play doofus.

Actually, fairy tales are the very foundation of drama.

Consider the emotional range of Snow White --

loyalty, envy, revenge...

romance.

Yeah, but it's for little kids.

Ah, ah, but it does not have to be.

You can change it!

Why don't we make the dwarfs tall blonde chicks in bikinis?

Hey, I'm for that. Heigh-ho, heigh-ho.

Why don't we do a rap version?

What a brilliant idea.

What do you say, class?

- Sure. - Cool.

Excuse me.

What about, uh... us?

Yeah. The school's finest minds

always have to work the lights and pull curtains.

[deep voice] This year we want to be onstage sharing the magic.

This year you have my word you will all have parts.

Ow.

Great. I can see it now --

Snow White and the Seven Dorks.

Mr. Powers.

[beat box plays]

? Yo, I'm the prince, and I'm a handsome sight ?

? Who's this I see? Is it Miss Snow White? ?

? Her lips I can read, so I'm glad I did show up ?

? If I have to kiss Screech, I think I'm gonna throw up ?

Thank you very much.

Uh, next.

? I'm such a wicked queen ?

? I'd so downright mean ?

? Snow White'll be cold before she hits 16 ?

Hold it a minute.

Kelly, I'm having trouble believing you're a wicked queen.

Me, too, Mr. Baimbridge.

Can I audition for Snow White?

I'm not a nasty person.

You are an actress, Kelly!

Now, let's just say

that Snow White was picked as head cheerleader.

How would you feel?

Bad.

And then there was a recount for homecoming queen,

and Snow White was the winner there, too.

You're a has-been, Kelly. You're ancient history.

Now I want to hear you rap.

? They say Snow White's the cutest of the cute ?

? Just wait till I give her this piece of fruit ?

? I brewed it some poison and gave it a coat ?

? And now I'm going to shove it down her pretty little throat ?

Bravo! Huh?

I'm having a problem with this audition scene.

It's reactionary and insulting to women.

Change it.

Put something of yourself into it.

Think so?

Sure. Act something you believe in.

Good idea, Zack.

Good luck.

Thank you.

? Snow White, we take pity on you ?

? But to stay with us, here's what you gotta do ?

? You gotta clean the house in every nook ?

? Sew, knit, wash-- ?

? Look, you sexist pigs ?

? And that's no lie ?

? You treat me like this And I'll stay at the Y ?

[gasp] [gasp]

? You better see the light 'cause you're way outdated ?

? And this Snow White is liberated ?

We didn't mean it.

Wonderful, Jessie. Simply wonderful.

? Since I'm a prince, I don't have to toil ?

? Got no hassle with the castle or that world ?

? So why am I in this bummed out mood? ?

? Till I find my one and only, I'm a lonely dude ?

Let's see what roles we got!

The mirror on the wall?

She gets the best gossip.

Dork number five?

I wanted dork number two.

Hey, the prince.

Was there ever any doubt?

And I'm Snow White.

The wicked queen.

Oh, I'm sorry, Kelly.

I know you wanted Snow White.

Yeah, I did, but I got into playing the queen.

Everything's cool, but thanks.

Any time, evil stepmother.

[bell rings]

See everybody at rehearsal.

Uh, Kelly, not me.

I only tried out 'cause I couldn't stand anyone else kissing you.

Zack, we need you. Think about it, O.K.?

- Bye. - See you later.

Zack, you can't quit.

You helped me get the lead.

You're the best prince by far.

I need you.

Jessie, you'll be fine without me.

But I'll be better with you.

Don't you remember the last time we acted together?

Yeah. It was the second-grade play.

We were Mr. and Mrs. Skunk.

When I got stage fright, you whispered my lines.

"Don't raise your tail, dear.

It's only the badgers."

I think the world's ready for us again.

What do you say?

All right, Jess. I'll be your prince.

? Now is she snoozing, or is she stiff? ?

? I can't help but wonder if ?

? I gave this gorgeous babe a kiss ?

? Would it be the end of her paralysis? ?

All right.

That's all for today. Class dismissed.

I'd like to have a chat with you about the kiss.

Mr. Baimbridge,

if anything happens to Melvin, can I be dork number two?

Screech, I hereby make you Melvin's understudy.

I'm so happy!

It's about that kiss.

It just isn't quite working.

This is the romantic climax of our play.

Now, tomorrow,

I would like you to try it with more feeling.

O.K.?

All right.

Well, Mrs. Skunk,

I guess we need more fire power.

We better work on it till the kiss is right.

I think that's called making out.

That's called acting, Zack.

Come on. Let's rehearse.

Uh...

Zack.

Come on.

We've been best friends since kindergarten.

You don't have to be shy.

This is just another school project we're working on.

O.K.?

Well... since you put it that way,

O.K.

Good. Now kiss me.

Uh...

What, uh...

What just happened?

You... kissed me.

Wow.

That was...

That was great acting, Zack. I mean...

You really made me believe in that kiss.

You were great, too.

I mean you're...

you're... so... so natural.

- Jessie-- - Zack--

We have to remember that, uh...

That kiss was... pretend.

I mean, that wasn't a real kiss.

No, of course it wasn't.

I really liked it.

Me, too.

That's enough rehearsal for today.

I'll see you tomorrow.

? Mirror, mirror, from the mall ?

? Who's the awesomest of them all? ?

? Brace yourself, queenie This news is bad ?

? Snow White is now a lot more rad ?

We're getting there.

Jessie, how's that kissing scene going?

Did you work on it?

A little.

If it was Slater, there'd be no problem.

It's hard kissing someone else's boyfriend.

Not for Jessie.

I mean Jessie is such a dedicated actress.

I know she is.

It'll be terrific by opening night.

I'll bet even before then.

I'm going for sodas.

Good idea.

Bring me one Zack.

I mean back.

O.K., Lisa. What is going on?

Let's just say mirrors can see a lot,

especially when they walk into a drama room.

Lisa, what you saw was an accident.

Yeah, right, and you were giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?

Is Zack a good kisser?

Oh, he's great...

But that's beside the point.

It was a mistake

and could cause trouble if it was blabbed, O.K.?

I got you.

Promise me you'll never tell Kelly about this.

My lips are sealed...

More than yours were.

Here she comes. Not one word.

Kelly, I kissed Zack.

It's part of the play.

I mean I really kissed Zack and he kissed me.

It didn't mean a thing, except in the play.

Forget I ever mentioned it, O.K.?

O.K.

I have to wash my hair.

Don't look at me. I'm just a mirror.

Oh, there she is.

What are you doing?

We're the seven dorks.

We have to protect you.

We're not acting now.

But we're all trying to stay in character.

It'll help our performance.

Where are you going?

I'm going out of my mind

if you geeks don't leave me alone!

We're not geeks. We're dorks.

Hi, mama.

How's that play going?

What did you hear?

Nothing. That's why I asked.

Don't ask.

OK. So, let's go to lunch at the Max.

I have to rehearse.

Dorks, I need you!

Take me to the forest.

Yes, your princessness.

Hey, Preppie.

What's up?

Could I talk to you?

- Sure. - It's personal.

It's about Jessie.

Man, she is acting weird.

Weird? Really?

Why are you asking me?

You haven't noticed anything strange?

Nope, not a thing.

Like what?

Have you noticed anything strange going on during rehearsals?

You think there's another guy?

Guy?

What guy? There's no guy.

To play it safe,

I'll get into that play to keep an eye on her.

You hate acting. I'll keep an eye on her.

I'll take care of this myself.

'Cause if I catch some clown with Jessie,

I'll pull his lips up over his head.

Thanks anyway. You're a pal.

Any time.

? Snow White, we came here in a panic ?

? That apple you're eating is not organic ?

? Dweebie, nerdy, geeky, slimy ?

? Shlumpy, dumpy, Norman-- ?

Studly. I'm the eighth dork.

? Someone, call a doctor ?

? No, a prince ?

? Is she snoozing, or is she stiff? ?

? I can't help but wonder if ?

? I gave this gorgeous babe a kiss ?

? Would it be the end of her paralysis? ??

Prince, why don't you kiss her?

Maybe they like each other. Oops!

Jessie!

What's going on around here?

I couldn't believe my ears.

The stars of the play quitting two days before the show opens?

Look, we're sorry, sir.

Sorry? The play is sold out.

Every dork in town is coming.

Now, I believe you two owe me an explanation.

It's personal, Mr. Belding.

I'm a person.

Come on. Let's hear it.

Well, sir...

We have to kiss in the last act,

and it's a problem because we're both dating someone else.

And they're unnecessarily jealous.

No, they're necessarily jealous.

You mean that you two are falling for each other?

We don't know, sir.

It seemed like it.

Yeah, and kissing again

could cause more trouble than we can handle.

I see.

Well, I must say that this is very surprising.

Surprising, sir?

Yes. After all, Jessie,

you are president of the student council

and an honor student.

And, Zack...

Zack is, uh--

Careful. You're talking about the man I possibly love.

All right. I'm sorry.

But quitting the play isn't going to solve your problem.

Oh. Hey, I remember having a similar experience with Natalie Kendall.

Who?

She was my best friend in high school.

One day I kissed her.

What happened?

She slugged me.

I had to kiss her to see whether it was love.

But we already did that.

Well, somehow you need to find out how you really feel.

And if it isn't love,

you don't have to be afraid to kiss.

What if it is love?

I'm stuck with an auditorium full of disappointed dorks.

- Hey, what's up, Kelly? - Hey.

Slater, did you talk to Jessie about what happened?

No. She's been avoiding me.

Did you talk to Zack?

No. He must be avoiding me, too.

Do you think something's going on between them

and they feel guilty about kissing?

That's what I've been wondering.

I can't believe Jessie could fall for that wimp.

Hey, I fell for that wimp.

It's hard to believe Zack likes that neurotic egghead.

Hey, that neurotic egghead is my woman.

Wait. You know, maybe we're overreacting.

We don't have any proof.

Yeah. Maybe they were just embarrassed.

Right,

and they're avoiding us

'cause they think we got the wrong idea.

Let's tell them we understand.

All right. Let's go.

Well...

If we're going to find out how we feel,

now is as good a time as any.

Are you sure this is the only way?

What if we still like it?

We're better off knowing the truth...

even if it hurts.

I guess you're right.

I'll be brave.

Jessie, that was great.

It was great.

I didn't feel a thing.

Me neither. We're still friends.

We don't have to break up with Slater and Kelly.

We can still be in the play. What a relief.

I am so happy, I could kiss you.

Go ahead. We won't like it.

That's right.

- Wait. - There's our proof.

Don't get the wrong idea.

We were just kissing

because we were so happy we didn't like it.

You wimp. We're through.

Kelly, please.

Slater, sometimes things aren't the way they seem.

Forget it, you neurotic egghead.

We're through, too.

Thanks, man. You're a real pal.

All right, everybody. This is it -- opening night.

As your principal,

I want to say how proud I am of each of you.

I know all the sweat that goes into--

Mr. Belding, they have to go on!

Oh, oh.

In the tradition of the theater,

I won't wish you good luck.

I'll just say break a leg.

Places!

Oh, places, places.

Dorks.

Break a leg, Zack.

In fact, break both legs.

I hope you two enjoy your kiss tonight.

Don't worry. We got it covered.

Stick to our plan.

Remember what we did last night.

We'll be fine.

? Mirror, mirror, from the mall ?

? Who's the awesomest of them all? ?

Say Jessie, and I'll brain you.

I pass. Next question, please.

? What harm can there be in eating these ?

? If they only have 70 calories? ?

? Well, the dorks told me to be suspicious ?

? But I'm tired of doing their shirts and dishes ?

? You're a nice old lady I have no doubt ?

? So I'll sample that apple you're rappin' about ?

I hope you choke on it, beanpole.

What is going on here?

I wish I knew.

? Now that we see her lying there ?

? We dorks admit we've been unfair ?

? This evil spell your kiss unlocks ?

? We'll split the cooking and don our own socks ?

? Dork number five, I gotta disagree ?

? If you want Snow White alive don't look at me ?

That's not in the script.

? To make her pulse accelerate ?

? She needs a kiss from dork number eight ?

? It's true the prince is just a friend ?

? But studly for me is the living end ?

? It's you I miss, studly, and not the prince ?

? Now that we've kissed, are you convinced? ?

Uh... uh...

? Well, at first I didn't like all of this drama ?

? But now I trust you, so kiss me, mama ?

? Me and Snow White was nothing but hype ?

? Oh, I like her all right ?

? But see, she's not my type ?

? So don't get me wrong when I say what I mean ?

? My heart belongs to this wicked queen ?

Oh, Zack. I mean prince.

? Yo, I want to announce to one and all ?

? That I love the mirror from the mall ?

? And if you touch me ?

? I think I'll knock you through the wall ?

? That brings our play to its conclusion ?

? Some things we said might have been a bit confusin' ?

? But we gave you romance and a lot of laughter ?

? And hey, we lived happily ever after ??

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0