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1
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:03,303
[bell rings]
2
00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:06,774
? When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ?
3
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,676
? I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ?
4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,579
? By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ?
5
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:16,183
? I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ?
6
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,018
? It's all right ?
7
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:20,687
? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ?
8
00:00:21,922 --> 00:00:24,925
? If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ?
9
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,828
? And my dog ate
all my homework last night ?
10
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:30,864
? Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ?
11
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,368
? If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ?
12
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,236
? It's all right ?
13
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:39,106
? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ?
14
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,789
? It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ?
15
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,692
? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ?
16
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:03,197
? It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ?
17
00:01:17,355 --> 00:01:20,358
All right, Lisa, let's practice
for the Academic Bowl.
18
00:01:20,492 --> 00:01:21,660
First question--
19
00:01:21,793 --> 00:01:24,262
what's the zip code
of Northern Zimbabwe?
20
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,378
90210?
21
00:01:27,966 --> 00:01:30,869
Buzz! Wrong answer. That
would be Zimbabwe Hills.
22
00:01:31,169 --> 00:01:33,238
What kind of stupid question is that?
23
00:01:33,338 --> 00:01:35,040
You've got to know everything.
24
00:01:35,106 --> 00:01:37,642
It's the Academic Bowl,
not Wheel of Fortune.
25
00:01:39,010 --> 00:01:42,280
Guys, guess where Slater
and I are going Friday?
26
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:44,349
Here's a hint.
It's big and white.
27
00:01:44,449 --> 00:01:46,284
You need a lift ticket
to get to the top.
28
00:01:46,384 --> 00:01:48,486
The Matterhorn at Disneyland?
29
00:01:49,421 --> 00:01:52,424
No. Skiing at
Big Bear Mountain.
30
00:01:52,557 --> 00:01:53,625
It's winter break.
31
00:01:53,725 --> 00:01:55,961
And the slopes will be
packed with ski bunnies.
32
00:01:56,061 --> 00:01:57,729
Wow! Bunnies and bears.
33
00:01:57,862 --> 00:01:59,297
Can I go?
34
00:01:59,831 --> 00:02:03,034
Take him. Maybe he'll
get eaten by a bear.
35
00:02:03,902 --> 00:02:05,837
OK. You can
carry my skis.
36
00:02:06,104 --> 00:02:09,174
How are you going to cut school
without Belding knowing?
37
00:02:09,274 --> 00:02:12,510
You are talking to Zack Morris.
38
00:02:12,577 --> 00:02:15,013
Getting out of school
is my middle name.
39
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,882
How are we getting
out of school?
40
00:02:18,350 --> 00:02:19,884
I have no idea.
41
00:02:20,986 --> 00:02:22,587
Here you go, Screech.
42
00:02:22,687 --> 00:02:24,556
Orange juice, extra pulp,
43
00:02:24,689 --> 00:02:26,124
oatmeal, lumpy...
44
00:02:26,224 --> 00:02:28,393
And scrambled eggs, runny.
45
00:02:28,994 --> 00:02:31,096
You forgot my burnt toast.
46
00:02:31,196 --> 00:02:33,164
Don't push it, little man.
47
00:02:33,431 --> 00:02:34,733
Can I get you guys something?
48
00:02:34,833 --> 00:02:36,735
Yes, another waitress.
You're rude.
49
00:02:39,004 --> 00:02:41,506
How do you like
filling in for Kelly?
50
00:02:41,606 --> 00:02:44,409
Well, I hate wearing this
demeaning sexist uniform.
51
00:02:44,509 --> 00:02:46,011
But the tips are great.
52
00:02:46,111 --> 00:02:49,180
How are you going to practice for the
Academic Bowl and still work?
53
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,349
Are you kidding?
Ask me anything.
54
00:02:51,416 --> 00:02:55,620
OK, what's the zip code
of Northern Zimbabwe?
55
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,989
Easy. KR137X.
56
00:02:58,089 --> 00:03:00,325
I've got toast burning.
Bye.
57
00:03:02,193 --> 00:03:04,462
Smart chick.
Lousy attitude.
58
00:03:04,562 --> 00:03:07,298
Wish she had the answer for
getting out of school Friday.
59
00:03:07,499 --> 00:03:09,868
Too bad the teachers'
contract talks are going well.
60
00:03:09,934 --> 00:03:12,437
If there's a strike,
there'd be no school.
61
00:03:14,339 --> 00:03:17,509
Sometimes the biggest
dorks have the best ideas.
62
00:03:19,811 --> 00:03:22,347
Tuttle, all these demands
seem reasonable--
63
00:03:22,447 --> 00:03:24,883
"salary hike, better hours,
64
00:03:25,417 --> 00:03:27,185
larger lunch portions"?
65
00:03:27,385 --> 00:03:30,922
Well, that would be a
personal favor, of course.
66
00:03:31,022 --> 00:03:32,323
Of course.
67
00:03:32,424 --> 00:03:34,926
I want you to spread the word.
68
00:03:34,993 --> 00:03:37,062
Dick Belding is on
the teachers' team.
69
00:03:37,128 --> 00:03:38,563
He doesn't want a strike.
70
00:03:38,663 --> 00:03:40,265
Solidarity, brother.
71
00:03:40,365 --> 00:03:41,966
Solidarity, brother.
72
00:03:42,067 --> 00:03:43,535
All right.
73
00:03:47,972 --> 00:03:51,076
Ready for your interview
for the school paper, Mr. B?
74
00:03:51,176 --> 00:03:52,343
Interview?
75
00:03:52,444 --> 00:03:53,611
Remember?
76
00:03:53,678 --> 00:03:55,413
Every year before
the Academic Bowl,
77
00:03:55,513 --> 00:03:58,850
you provide a few inspirational
comments for the school paper.
78
00:03:59,150 --> 00:04:02,087
We'll turn those comments
into a teacher's strike.
79
00:04:02,687 --> 00:04:03,788
What was that?
80
00:04:03,888 --> 00:04:04,856
Sound check.
81
00:04:04,956 --> 00:04:06,658
- Sounds good.
- OK.
82
00:04:06,891 --> 00:04:09,094
Now, Mr. Belding...
83
00:04:09,204 --> 00:04:12,430
Bayside's academic team is
winless in Bowl competition.
84
00:04:12,530 --> 00:04:15,266
Does this losing tradition
concern you?
85
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:16,935
Ahem.
86
00:04:17,035 --> 00:04:18,436
Heck, no.
87
00:04:20,305 --> 00:04:23,808
Sir, we need a little
more inspiration.
88
00:04:23,908 --> 00:04:25,143
Oh.
89
00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:27,545
We're going to crush them!
90
00:04:27,645 --> 00:04:30,815
Spineless jellyfish never
put up much of a fight.
91
00:04:31,049 --> 00:04:31,983
How's that?
92
00:04:32,083 --> 00:04:33,184
Perfect, Mr. B.
93
00:04:33,284 --> 00:04:34,519
Just one more thing.
94
00:04:34,619 --> 00:04:36,821
Valley's principal
says you're over the hill.
95
00:04:36,921 --> 00:04:38,456
What do you think of that?
96
00:04:38,790 --> 00:04:40,558
That incompetent bozo.
97
00:04:40,658 --> 00:04:43,027
He should have been
fired years ago.
98
00:04:43,528 --> 00:04:44,929
Did you get all that?
99
00:04:45,029 --> 00:04:46,664
Every last word.
100
00:04:48,466 --> 00:04:49,801
Remember, people,
101
00:04:49,901 --> 00:04:52,437
be confident, be quick,
and most of all,
102
00:04:52,537 --> 00:04:53,838
be correct.
103
00:04:53,907 --> 00:04:54,839
Ready?
104
00:04:54,911 --> 00:04:56,112
- Ready!
- Ready!
105
00:04:56,674 --> 00:04:59,277
Name the city that was
once called New Amsterdam.
106
00:04:59,322 --> 00:05:00,190
[buzzer]
107
00:05:00,237 --> 00:05:01,112
New York.
108
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:02,214
Correct.
109
00:05:02,347 --> 00:05:04,983
Captain John Smith was said
to have been saved by--
110
00:05:05,083 --> 00:05:06,117
[buzzer]
111
00:05:06,217 --> 00:05:07,485
Pocahontas.
112
00:05:07,752 --> 00:05:09,254
Correct.
113
00:05:09,621 --> 00:05:11,789
Who was the first
person to walk--
114
00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:13,057
[buzzer]
115
00:05:13,158 --> 00:05:14,559
Neil Armstrong.
116
00:05:14,659 --> 00:05:15,960
On the moon.
117
00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:17,428
Correct again.
118
00:05:17,495 --> 00:05:18,963
OK. Next question.
119
00:05:20,732 --> 00:05:22,901
Mr. Tuttle, we are
on the team, too.
120
00:05:23,001 --> 00:05:25,370
Screech buzzes in before
we hear the question.
121
00:05:25,436 --> 00:05:27,705
Yeah.
How can we practice?
122
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:30,241
Now, girls, quit complaining.
123
00:05:30,375 --> 00:05:34,012
Screech is exactly the kind of
crafty genius you'll be up against.
124
00:05:34,112 --> 00:05:36,414
Yeah. Don't
bruise the genius.
125
00:05:37,148 --> 00:05:40,985
Can we get an update on the
teachers' contract for the school paper?
126
00:05:41,119 --> 00:05:42,587
Absolutely.
127
00:05:42,687 --> 00:05:44,689
OK, bowlers, brain break.
128
00:05:44,756 --> 00:05:47,625
This gives us a chance
to discuss our strategy
129
00:05:47,692 --> 00:05:49,661
with our genius captain.
130
00:05:49,761 --> 00:05:51,996
Yeah. Come
with us, captain.
131
00:05:52,096 --> 00:05:53,431
Yikes!
132
00:05:56,734 --> 00:05:59,637
It'll just be a second.
I have to cue the tape.
133
00:05:59,737 --> 00:06:00,705
Fine.
134
00:06:00,805 --> 00:06:04,609
Mr. Belding, are you concerned
about the threat of a teachers' strike?
135
00:06:04,709 --> 00:06:07,512
Heck, no. We're
going to crush them.
136
00:06:07,612 --> 00:06:10,715
Spineless jellyfish never
put up much of a fight.
137
00:06:10,949 --> 00:06:14,252
Sorry. That was a previous
interview with Mr. Belding.
138
00:06:14,352 --> 00:06:15,520
I'll fast forward to--
139
00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:18,756
No, no, no, no!
I want to hear this.
140
00:06:19,324 --> 00:06:21,626
Well, what's wrong
with Union President Tuttle?
141
00:06:21,726 --> 00:06:23,161
That incompetent bozo?
142
00:06:23,261 --> 00:06:25,396
He should have been
fired years ago.
143
00:06:25,797 --> 00:06:26,965
Incompetent?
144
00:06:27,065 --> 00:06:28,199
Bozo?
145
00:06:28,299 --> 00:06:29,434
Fired?
146
00:06:29,534 --> 00:06:31,703
Well, we'll see about that!
147
00:06:38,843 --> 00:06:40,278
He said what?
148
00:06:40,378 --> 00:06:42,146
That double-crosser called us
149
00:06:42,247 --> 00:06:44,482
spineless,
incompetent jellyfish!
150
00:06:44,582 --> 00:06:46,484
This is an outrage.
151
00:06:46,618 --> 00:06:48,219
I never trusted him.
152
00:06:48,319 --> 00:06:50,421
I knew he was
covering something.
153
00:06:50,521 --> 00:06:51,856
Follow me.
154
00:06:56,527 --> 00:06:59,530
OK, Belding.
Show your face.
155
00:07:01,733 --> 00:07:02,900
Something wrong?
156
00:07:03,001 --> 00:07:05,403
Have you told the teachers
how I feel about them?
157
00:07:05,937 --> 00:07:08,573
Yes, and our response
is unanimous.
158
00:07:08,673 --> 00:07:10,475
[all]
We strike!
159
00:07:11,776 --> 00:07:12,777
They strike.
160
00:07:12,944 --> 00:07:14,345
While we go skiing.
161
00:07:21,953 --> 00:07:23,221
Bye, Gretchen.
162
00:07:23,321 --> 00:07:24,922
Bye, Inga.
163
00:07:25,023 --> 00:07:26,324
- Mm-wa!
- Mm-wa!
164
00:07:31,262 --> 00:07:32,997
Hey, guys, how was skiing?
165
00:07:33,097 --> 00:07:35,333
Skiing?
Looked like fun.
166
00:07:36,734 --> 00:07:39,971
He was too busy with
Gretchen to even go outside.
167
00:07:40,071 --> 00:07:42,206
Hey, man, snow was cold.
168
00:07:43,474 --> 00:07:44,842
Where's Screech?
169
00:07:45,043 --> 00:07:46,210
He's where he's supposed to be,
170
00:07:46,311 --> 00:07:47,679
bringing in our luggage.
171
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,355
Aah!
172
00:08:00,024 --> 00:08:01,492
Screech, are you ok?
173
00:08:01,592 --> 00:08:02,994
Oh, Screech.
174
00:08:03,094 --> 00:08:04,262
Yeah, I'm fine.
175
00:08:04,369 --> 00:08:06,137
Luckily, I landed on my head.
176
00:08:06,464 --> 00:08:08,132
Are you sure you're OK, Screech?
177
00:08:08,232 --> 00:08:10,535
The Academic Bowl's
in a few days.
178
00:08:10,768 --> 00:08:12,070
He's fine.
179
00:08:12,170 --> 00:08:14,939
He got sniffles from
skiing in his underwear.
180
00:08:15,139 --> 00:08:16,808
Why did you do that?
181
00:08:16,908 --> 00:08:18,409
I forgot my pajamas.
182
00:08:18,509 --> 00:08:20,111
You ski in pajamas?
183
00:08:20,178 --> 00:08:21,379
Why would I do that?
184
00:08:21,479 --> 00:08:23,247
Then I'd have nothing
to sleep in at night.
185
00:08:24,282 --> 00:08:27,318
Stop. Screech went
to use the bathroom,
186
00:08:27,418 --> 00:08:29,253
opened the patio door
by mistake,
187
00:08:29,354 --> 00:08:31,356
and a gust of wind
sent him airborne.
188
00:08:31,422 --> 00:08:32,790
When we found him,
189
00:08:32,857 --> 00:08:34,992
he qualified for
the Polish ski team.
190
00:08:35,693 --> 00:08:37,095
I'm glad you're OK.
191
00:08:37,161 --> 00:08:39,230
We've got Academic
Bowl practice soon.
192
00:08:39,297 --> 00:08:41,933
You're going to school
when you don't have to?
193
00:08:42,033 --> 00:08:43,234
That's sick.
194
00:08:43,334 --> 00:08:46,037
You'll be going to
school with us tomorrow
195
00:08:46,104 --> 00:08:49,440
because Belding and Tuttle
are settling the strike.
196
00:08:50,475 --> 00:08:51,976
I don't like how this sounds.
197
00:08:52,076 --> 00:08:53,244
Me, neither.
198
00:08:54,178 --> 00:08:55,713
Ha ha ha!
199
00:08:56,481 --> 00:08:58,916
I'm glad we're able
to clear things up.
200
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,485
I agree, Mr. Belding.
201
00:09:00,585 --> 00:09:01,986
The strike is over.
202
00:09:02,086 --> 00:09:03,287
All right.
203
00:09:03,388 --> 00:09:05,456
I guess Belding was
right about the teachers
204
00:09:05,556 --> 00:09:07,291
not putting up much
of a fight, huh, Slater?
205
00:09:07,392 --> 00:09:09,093
Yeah. They
are spineless.
206
00:09:09,827 --> 00:09:11,195
Spineless?
207
00:09:11,429 --> 00:09:13,931
Well, we fought for
and won every demand.
208
00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:17,668
You only asked for
more money and better hours.
209
00:09:17,769 --> 00:09:18,936
What else is there?
210
00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:21,672
Just a little something
called respect.
211
00:09:21,739 --> 00:09:22,940
Respect?
212
00:09:23,074 --> 00:09:24,275
Respect.
213
00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:27,478
Like having a parking space
near your classroom.
214
00:09:27,612 --> 00:09:28,780
No respect.
215
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,282
A teachers' lounge to relax in.
216
00:09:31,382 --> 00:09:32,617
No respect.
217
00:09:33,584 --> 00:09:35,219
Happier with money?
Take it.
218
00:09:35,319 --> 00:09:36,954
I'm only a student.
What do I know?
219
00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:39,891
You are wise beyond your years.
220
00:09:40,258 --> 00:09:41,526
Excuse me.
221
00:09:41,626 --> 00:09:43,828
I have some jellyfish to fry!
222
00:09:43,961 --> 00:09:45,163
Oh, go.
223
00:09:50,568 --> 00:09:51,636
Mr. Tuttle?
224
00:09:51,769 --> 00:09:53,070
Nice try, Belding.
225
00:09:53,171 --> 00:09:55,473
The teachers demand respect.
226
00:09:55,673 --> 00:09:56,774
What do you mean?
227
00:09:56,841 --> 00:09:58,576
Don't play dumb.
228
00:09:58,676 --> 00:10:00,945
We'll see you
on the picket line!
229
00:10:01,279 --> 00:10:02,447
But...
230
00:10:02,914 --> 00:10:03,915
What happened?
231
00:10:04,015 --> 00:10:06,117
I thought you
had things worked out.
232
00:10:06,217 --> 00:10:07,485
So did I.
233
00:10:07,585 --> 00:10:10,321
This strike could go on
a few more days?
234
00:10:10,421 --> 00:10:13,057
It could go on all semester.
235
00:10:13,391 --> 00:10:15,560
What about the
Academic Bowl next week?
236
00:10:15,626 --> 00:10:18,396
If the teachers vote
to stay out on strike tonight,
237
00:10:18,463 --> 00:10:21,032
it means no school
and no Academic Bowl.
238
00:10:21,132 --> 00:10:22,633
I'm sorry.
239
00:10:24,302 --> 00:10:25,770
No Academic Bowl?
240
00:10:25,870 --> 00:10:26,871
Uh-huh.
241
00:10:26,938 --> 00:10:30,041
Thanks. Now all that hard
work is down the drain!
242
00:10:30,308 --> 00:10:32,043
No Academic Bowl?
243
00:10:32,143 --> 00:10:34,879
Some friends. You don't
care who you hurt.
244
00:10:35,012 --> 00:10:36,914
No Academic Bowl?
245
00:10:48,793 --> 00:10:50,795
Ladies and gentlemen,
246
00:10:50,995 --> 00:10:55,166
I spoke to the school board, and
I have good news and bad news.
247
00:10:55,533 --> 00:10:59,904
The good news is they
listened to all your demands.
248
00:11:00,938 --> 00:11:04,141
The bad news is, they
said, "no way. Forget it."
249
00:11:06,377 --> 00:11:08,179
Then we strike.
250
00:11:08,279 --> 00:11:10,715
Now, hold on.
Hold on, now.
251
00:11:10,815 --> 00:11:12,183
Be reasonable.
252
00:11:12,283 --> 00:11:14,318
This looks bad for the school.
253
00:11:14,418 --> 00:11:16,254
It doesn't bother me.
254
00:11:16,354 --> 00:11:17,889
Well it bothers me.
255
00:11:17,955 --> 00:11:19,924
I don't want to be known
as the only principal
256
00:11:19,991 --> 00:11:21,993
who can't get along
with his teachers.
257
00:11:22,493 --> 00:11:23,861
Hey, wait.
258
00:11:23,928 --> 00:11:26,564
You didn't let
Mr. Belding finish.
259
00:11:26,631 --> 00:11:29,333
Since the school board
wouldn't meet your demands,
260
00:11:29,433 --> 00:11:32,370
Mr. Belding came up
with his own proposal.
261
00:11:32,470 --> 00:11:33,604
I did?
262
00:11:33,704 --> 00:11:36,908
Yes. Remember? You
asked us to type it up.
263
00:11:37,008 --> 00:11:38,109
I did?
264
00:11:38,209 --> 00:11:39,977
I'll read it to help
jog your memory.
265
00:11:40,225 --> 00:11:41,412
All right.
266
00:11:41,470 --> 00:11:43,439
Item 1 -- teacher's lounge.
267
00:11:43,548 --> 00:11:44,982
Since there is no lounge,
268
00:11:45,043 --> 00:11:46,884
Mr. Belding will
provide his office
269
00:11:46,984 --> 00:11:50,154
during odd periods
for teachers to relax.
270
00:11:52,590 --> 00:11:55,192
Your office is so ugly,
they won't stay long.
271
00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:58,496
Item 2 -- parking spaces.
272
00:11:58,596 --> 00:12:03,334
Mr. Belding volunteers to give up
his space and park with the students.
273
00:12:03,434 --> 00:12:07,572
This way, every teacher will be
one space closer to the school.
274
00:12:07,672 --> 00:12:08,973
That's pretty good, huh?
275
00:12:09,073 --> 00:12:10,308
Yeah!
Great!
276
00:12:10,408 --> 00:12:11,442
Good one.
277
00:12:11,542 --> 00:12:12,910
Absolutely not.
278
00:12:13,044 --> 00:12:15,346
I refuse to ride that
smelly shuttle bus.
279
00:12:15,446 --> 00:12:18,182
Don't worry. We'll
save you a window seat.
280
00:12:18,883 --> 00:12:22,353
Finally, Mr. Belding
will use his annual bonus
281
00:12:22,420 --> 00:12:24,822
to pay for the faculty
Christmas party.
282
00:12:24,922 --> 00:12:26,223
You got to respect that.
283
00:12:26,290 --> 00:12:27,258
Huh?
284
00:12:27,358 --> 00:12:28,459
All right!
285
00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:30,027
Yeah!
Wonderful!
286
00:12:30,127 --> 00:12:31,262
That's right.
287
00:12:31,329 --> 00:12:32,663
We accept.
288
00:12:32,730 --> 00:12:36,067
The teachers are back
to work as of tomorrow!
289
00:12:39,070 --> 00:12:40,771
Mr. Tuttle,
welcome back.
290
00:12:40,871 --> 00:12:44,241
Well, are you ready
to bone up for the Bowl?
291
00:12:44,342 --> 00:12:45,476
Test us.
292
00:12:45,576 --> 00:12:47,578
I've got an itchy buzzer finger.
293
00:12:47,745 --> 00:12:50,147
I'm glad the Academic
Bowl wasn't canceled.
294
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:51,682
So am I.
295
00:12:51,749 --> 00:12:54,518
The hard work you've put in
will be the winning complement
296
00:12:54,585 --> 00:12:56,587
to Screech's brainy energy.
297
00:12:56,687 --> 00:12:58,122
Let's begin.
298
00:13:00,725 --> 00:13:02,326
[blows nose loudly]
299
00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,695
Screech, are you OK?
300
00:13:04,795 --> 00:13:06,664
Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
301
00:13:06,764 --> 00:13:08,099
[coughs]
302
00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:11,168
Just a little head cold.
303
00:13:11,435 --> 00:13:12,703
Ah-choo!
304
00:13:14,372 --> 00:13:17,742
Mr. Screech, are you sure
you're feeling up to this?
305
00:13:17,842 --> 00:13:19,810
Yes. Positive.
306
00:13:19,977 --> 00:13:21,445
Ah-choo!
307
00:13:22,213 --> 00:13:23,981
All right, let's begin.
308
00:13:24,081 --> 00:13:25,883
Uh, question 1 --
309
00:13:25,983 --> 00:13:29,387
what are the two
chief classes of nebulae?
310
00:13:31,322 --> 00:13:32,490
[imitates buzzer]
311
00:13:32,590 --> 00:13:34,558
Emissions and reflection.
312
00:13:38,529 --> 00:13:39,930
Mr. Tuttle,
he's burning up.
313
00:13:40,031 --> 00:13:41,465
Let's get him to the nurse.
314
00:13:41,509 --> 00:13:45,069
Mr. Screech, I'm afraid your
Bowl practice is over for good.
315
00:13:45,536 --> 00:13:46,837
Thanks, Mom.
316
00:13:46,937 --> 00:13:50,908
[buzzer]
317
00:13:54,345 --> 00:13:56,180
Here are your malts.
318
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:59,583
They're extra thick.
I hope you choke on them.
319
00:14:01,252 --> 00:14:03,320
We didn't make Screech sick.
320
00:14:03,421 --> 00:14:05,322
The dufus fell out a window.
321
00:14:05,456 --> 00:14:07,091
You took the dufus skiing.
322
00:14:07,224 --> 00:14:09,960
How many times should
we say we're sorry?
323
00:14:10,461 --> 00:14:11,529
Say it again.
324
00:14:11,629 --> 00:14:12,763
- We're sorry.
- We're sorry.
325
00:14:12,863 --> 00:14:14,298
Not good enough.
326
00:14:14,799 --> 00:14:18,836
Getting angry is not making
our situation any better.
327
00:14:18,936 --> 00:14:20,805
With Screech in the hospital,
328
00:14:20,905 --> 00:14:23,507
we should be finding
a replacement.
329
00:14:23,708 --> 00:14:25,142
Maybe I can do it.
330
00:14:25,242 --> 00:14:27,712
You have wrestling
practice every day.
331
00:14:27,812 --> 00:14:29,547
Besides, whoever
replaces Screech
332
00:14:29,647 --> 00:14:32,049
would have to study
right up until Bowl day.
333
00:14:33,384 --> 00:14:35,953
Well, maybe it's a lost cause.
334
00:14:36,053 --> 00:14:37,888
We should probably just forfeit.
335
00:14:38,022 --> 00:14:42,193
Never. Canceled a perfectly good
teacher's strike for this stupid thing.
336
00:14:47,798 --> 00:14:50,534
Nerd alert. It's
the Valley bowl team.
337
00:14:50,668 --> 00:14:51,969
Lookee, lookee.
338
00:14:52,069 --> 00:14:54,805
It's the Bayside
bowl team bimbos.
339
00:14:55,539 --> 00:14:58,909
I guess you'll forfeit now
that you're Screechless.
340
00:15:01,045 --> 00:15:02,947
We'll be there, Gladys,
341
00:15:03,047 --> 00:15:05,883
and we won't be
dressed for a flood.
342
00:15:05,983 --> 00:15:07,952
Hey, back off, lady.
343
00:15:08,052 --> 00:15:10,621
My mom personally
selects my attire.
344
00:15:10,755 --> 00:15:11,956
Save your breath, Earl.
345
00:15:12,056 --> 00:15:15,326
You're dealing with people who
think quantum physics is a TV show.
346
00:15:16,794 --> 00:15:18,295
Don't laugh too loud.
347
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,898
They're going to beat
the tape off your glasses.
348
00:15:20,998 --> 00:15:23,968
If you're so confident,
you take Screech's place.
349
00:15:24,068 --> 00:15:27,838
He couldn't speak and
buzz at the same time.
350
00:15:28,706 --> 00:15:31,208
All right, scrambled
eggheads, you're on.
351
00:15:31,308 --> 00:15:33,410
We're going to mop
the floor with you.
352
00:15:34,211 --> 00:15:35,746
Get out of here.
353
00:15:40,718 --> 00:15:42,753
All right, Screech,
I'm ready to learn.
354
00:15:42,820 --> 00:15:45,289
Lisa and Jessie cover
English, Art, and History.
355
00:15:45,389 --> 00:15:47,691
Tell me everything
about math and science.
356
00:15:47,825 --> 00:15:50,261
OK, astrophysics--
357
00:15:50,528 --> 00:15:53,631
first, think of astro,
the jetsons' dog.
358
00:15:54,098 --> 00:15:56,600
Jetsons means jet propulsion,
359
00:15:56,700 --> 00:16:01,071
with properties "a," "b," "c"...
360
00:16:01,672 --> 00:16:03,808
See you real soon.
361
00:16:05,976 --> 00:16:07,812
Oh, no. He died.
362
00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:10,447
I'm back.
363
00:16:11,649 --> 00:16:13,017
Let's move on to the planets.
364
00:16:13,117 --> 00:16:13,984
OK.
365
00:16:14,084 --> 00:16:17,021
Can you remember
the word "mvemjsunp"?
366
00:16:17,121 --> 00:16:18,322
Mvemjsunp?
367
00:16:18,422 --> 00:16:19,890
Mvemjsunp?
368
00:16:20,124 --> 00:16:23,360
It's the name of the planets
according to their distance from the sun.
369
00:16:25,329 --> 00:16:28,966
"M"--Mercury, "V"--Venus,
370
00:16:29,066 --> 00:16:30,701
"E"...
371
00:16:31,202 --> 00:16:32,736
"E"...
372
00:16:33,370 --> 00:16:35,606
Ee-yai, ee-yai, oh.
373
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,876
Screech, Screech,
what's the rest of it?
374
00:16:38,976 --> 00:16:40,845
? Old MacDonald
had a farm ??
375
00:16:41,645 --> 00:16:42,847
What?
376
00:16:42,980 --> 00:16:45,516
It's too bad we couldn't
get Screech to coach Valley.
377
00:16:45,616 --> 00:16:47,618
They'd be so confused,
we'd kill them.
378
00:16:48,252 --> 00:16:49,753
Coaching the Valley team?
379
00:16:49,854 --> 00:16:51,689
What an interesting concept.
380
00:16:54,592 --> 00:16:56,493
Why did you ask us here,
muscle brain?
381
00:16:56,594 --> 00:16:58,729
We're on a tight schedule.
382
00:16:58,829 --> 00:17:00,631
OK, here's the deal.
383
00:17:01,332 --> 00:17:04,235
I volunteered to take
Screech's place on the team.
384
00:17:04,869 --> 00:17:08,038
They laughed and said,
"no jocks allowed."
385
00:17:08,105 --> 00:17:10,474
Why does this concern us?
386
00:17:10,875 --> 00:17:12,676
Now I want to help you guys win.
387
00:17:12,743 --> 00:17:14,078
We don't need your help.
388
00:17:14,178 --> 00:17:16,046
Without Screech,
they're dead meat.
389
00:17:16,313 --> 00:17:19,450
Yeah? Screech is back.
390
00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:20,918
Screech is back?
391
00:17:21,018 --> 00:17:22,720
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
392
00:17:23,888 --> 00:17:26,123
He's not actually back back.
393
00:17:26,223 --> 00:17:30,127
Screech has taught Zack
everything he knows.
394
00:17:30,327 --> 00:17:31,228
Everything?
395
00:17:31,328 --> 00:17:33,497
Even thermonuclear
global time share?
396
00:17:33,564 --> 00:17:36,667
Even advanced thermonuclear
global time share.
397
00:17:37,334 --> 00:17:40,271
Uh-oh.
I smell trouble.
398
00:17:40,337 --> 00:17:43,173
Don't sweat it.
I know their strategy.
399
00:17:43,274 --> 00:17:45,876
They're planning to win
in the sports category.
400
00:17:45,976 --> 00:17:48,712
We know all about sports.
401
00:17:49,313 --> 00:17:51,282
Well, concentrate on football.
402
00:17:51,348 --> 00:17:52,716
Zack's an expert.
403
00:17:52,816 --> 00:17:55,686
Then we'll concentrate
on the pigskin.
404
00:17:55,753 --> 00:17:57,721
That's the sport with helmets.
405
00:17:58,422 --> 00:18:01,091
So they don't get hurt
falling off their horse.
406
00:18:11,669 --> 00:18:13,070
Academic Bowlers,
407
00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:14,872
in a moment the game will begin.
408
00:18:14,972 --> 00:18:17,374
Remember -- winning
isn't everything,
409
00:18:17,474 --> 00:18:19,576
but losing stinks.
410
00:18:19,677 --> 00:18:20,778
Come on.
411
00:18:20,911 --> 00:18:23,113
[all]
Go, Bayside!
412
00:18:24,648 --> 00:18:25,816
Nerds buy our plan?
413
00:18:25,916 --> 00:18:27,251
Touchdown.
414
00:18:31,155 --> 00:18:32,690
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
415
00:18:32,790 --> 00:18:35,225
I missed the campus shuttle bus.
416
00:18:35,559 --> 00:18:37,761
Now you know why I'm
late every morning.
417
00:18:39,296 --> 00:18:42,599
Welcome to the annual
Bayside-Valley Academic Bowl.
418
00:18:47,671 --> 00:18:49,239
There are six categories.
419
00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:52,977
The controlling team can pick any
subject within the given category.
420
00:18:53,077 --> 00:18:54,478
Are you ready?
421
00:18:54,578 --> 00:18:55,646
- Ready.
- Ready.
422
00:18:55,746 --> 00:18:57,181
- You bet.
- You bet.
423
00:18:57,281 --> 00:19:00,517
OK, opening question
for control of the board.
424
00:19:00,818 --> 00:19:03,220
Category -- literature.
425
00:19:03,454 --> 00:19:06,590
What was Mark Twain's real name?
426
00:19:06,924 --> 00:19:08,492
Samuel Clemens.
427
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:09,927
Correct.
428
00:19:12,196 --> 00:19:15,199
Next question --
category still literature.
429
00:19:15,532 --> 00:19:18,302
In Grimm's fairy tale
Snow White,
430
00:19:18,502 --> 00:19:21,171
what were the names
of the seven dwarfs?
431
00:19:21,505 --> 00:19:24,375
Bashful, Doc, Dopey,
Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy.
432
00:19:24,475 --> 00:19:25,609
Right.
433
00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:27,945
I'm sorry.
434
00:19:28,712 --> 00:19:30,514
I'm sorry, but that's wrong.
435
00:19:31,382 --> 00:19:35,052
Now, nerds-- I mean,
Valley for control.
436
00:19:35,152 --> 00:19:37,588
In Grimm's version
they had no names.
437
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,790
Later, Walt Disney named them.
438
00:19:39,923 --> 00:19:42,326
That's correct for 15 points.
439
00:19:45,729 --> 00:19:47,698
Name this duck-billed mammal.
440
00:19:48,399 --> 00:19:49,400
Platypus.
441
00:19:49,533 --> 00:19:50,934
Correct for 15 points.
442
00:19:53,270 --> 00:19:54,905
Next question --
443
00:19:55,305 --> 00:19:58,075
the bird that hides
its head in the sand...
444
00:19:58,175 --> 00:19:59,209
Ostrich.
445
00:19:59,309 --> 00:20:00,711
Is the ostrich.
446
00:20:00,811 --> 00:20:02,913
How fast does it run?
447
00:20:03,614 --> 00:20:05,182
50 miles an hour?
448
00:20:05,382 --> 00:20:06,617
Correct.
449
00:20:08,819 --> 00:20:12,256
When is this great plan
of yours going to start?
450
00:20:12,389 --> 00:20:14,124
Patience, Jessie.
451
00:20:14,224 --> 00:20:16,393
We've got them right
where we want them.
452
00:20:16,927 --> 00:20:19,329
OK, contestants, final round.
453
00:20:19,430 --> 00:20:21,865
Question value
doubles to 30 points.
454
00:20:21,965 --> 00:20:23,434
Category is sports.
455
00:20:23,534 --> 00:20:25,569
Bayside, choose the subject.
456
00:20:25,669 --> 00:20:27,871
I think I'll pick football.
457
00:20:29,239 --> 00:20:30,908
Ah, let's live dangerously.
458
00:20:31,008 --> 00:20:32,509
Make it basketball.
459
00:20:32,576 --> 00:20:34,545
What happened to football?
460
00:20:37,381 --> 00:20:39,049
OK, first question --
461
00:20:39,283 --> 00:20:41,452
name the famous
Los Angeles center
462
00:20:41,552 --> 00:20:44,588
who holds the NBA's
career scoring record.
463
00:20:46,156 --> 00:20:48,058
Um, it's that Kareem guy.
464
00:20:48,158 --> 00:20:50,127
Kareem Abdul-Montana.
465
00:20:51,328 --> 00:20:53,130
No. I'm sorry.
466
00:20:53,897 --> 00:20:54,965
Bayside?
467
00:20:55,065 --> 00:20:57,101
Is it Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?
468
00:20:57,201 --> 00:20:59,002
Correct for 30 points.
469
00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:04,274
Question 2 --
470
00:21:04,608 --> 00:21:07,578
who is the Chicago Bull
that defies gravity?
471
00:21:07,678 --> 00:21:09,746
That would be Air McMahon.
472
00:21:09,847 --> 00:21:12,850
No, stupid. That's
the guy on Star Search.
473
00:21:14,284 --> 00:21:15,486
Bayside.
474
00:21:15,586 --> 00:21:17,955
I believe it's
Michael "Air" Jordan.
475
00:21:18,021 --> 00:21:19,923
Correct. 30 more points.
476
00:21:23,494 --> 00:21:26,497
If Bayside answers
the final question correctly,
477
00:21:26,597 --> 00:21:28,031
they'll be tied.
478
00:21:30,567 --> 00:21:33,470
Who invented basketball?
479
00:21:34,738 --> 00:21:36,406
O.J. Simpson.
480
00:21:36,740 --> 00:21:38,308
No, you idiot.
He's a football player.
481
00:21:38,408 --> 00:21:40,777
OK, O.J. Chamberlain.
482
00:21:40,878 --> 00:21:43,881
No. That is wrong
and ridiculous.
483
00:21:44,781 --> 00:21:45,883
Bayside.
484
00:21:46,650 --> 00:21:48,318
Here's a wild guess.
485
00:21:48,418 --> 00:21:50,154
Is it James Naismith?
486
00:21:50,287 --> 00:21:51,722
Correct.
487
00:21:55,659 --> 00:21:57,127
We have a tie,
488
00:21:57,761 --> 00:21:59,229
and now to break the tie,
489
00:21:59,329 --> 00:22:01,999
a wild-card, tie-breaker,
tossup question.
490
00:22:04,101 --> 00:22:06,803
Name the solar system's
nine planets,
491
00:22:06,904 --> 00:22:09,573
starting with the closest
to the sun.
492
00:22:09,673 --> 00:22:12,209
Uh, that would be mvemjsunp.
493
00:22:12,309 --> 00:22:15,078
That's Mercury, Venus,
Earth, Mars,
494
00:22:15,145 --> 00:22:18,749
Jupiter, Saturn,
Uranus, Neptune, and...
495
00:22:18,849 --> 00:22:21,118
uh... Pluto?
496
00:22:21,218 --> 00:22:22,252
Correct.
497
00:22:22,319 --> 00:22:25,122
Bayside is
the Academic Bowl champion.
498
00:22:26,657 --> 00:22:28,292
Good work, people.
499
00:22:28,358 --> 00:22:30,227
Oh, thank you, sir.
500
00:22:30,327 --> 00:22:32,095
Are you coming
to the victory party?
501
00:22:32,196 --> 00:22:33,397
Sure.
Where is it?
502
00:22:33,497 --> 00:22:35,299
It's in the new
teacher's lounge.
503
00:22:35,365 --> 00:22:37,701
That's my office.
You'll wreck everything.
504
00:22:37,801 --> 00:22:39,970
If it's a good party we will.
505
00:22:40,103 --> 00:22:41,471
Solidarity, brother.
506
00:22:41,521 --> 00:22:46,071
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