Original subtitles

[bell rings]

? When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning ?

? I don't think I'll ever make it on time ?

? By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ?

? I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ?

? If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ?

? And my dog ate all my homework last night ?

? Ridin' low on my chair, she won't know that I'm there ?

? If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ?

Zack, hey, hey.

Shh shh shh!

I have to begin today's assembly on a sad note.

Bayside's talent show has been postponed.

Aw! Aw! Aw!

Our condolences to ventriloquist Muffin Sangria

whose dummy, Jo-Jo, was eaten by termites.

Ha ha! Ha ha!

This is serious.

Why don't we start a fire with his remains and toast marshmallows?

Muffin, we're sorry for your loss.

Ha ha ha!

No, I mean it.

I-I'm serious.

Zack, help.

Uh!

Uh, we're all sorry, Muffin.

All right, everyone,

this Friday's the city championship game against Valley.

Here's our quarterback, A.C. Slater.

A.C.! A.C.! A.C.!

Thank you.

To win, we need all of you to support us.

Our tackling dummy is broken,

so all cute blondes are welcome to come out and fill in.

That's sexist.

You know, she's right.

All brunettes and redheads are welcome, too.

Tomorrow starts student-teacher week,

and Mr. Belding will now announce the winners.

Thank you, Jessie.

Now, based on their written essays,

the following students have been selected to be teachers for one week--

Bill Jones for Foreign Languages,

Zarina Keby-nor Jallawari Singh El Kemelaroudi --

English,

for History-- Oh!-- Kelly Kapowski.

Me? I can't believe it!

- I'm so happy! - Me, too.

I just got underwear that fits!

For math, Al Pleskin,

and finally, our student gym teachers will be

Lisa Turtle and Screech Powers.

I'm so happy for you.

I've always dreamed of this day.

I can't wait.

Our student-teachers will have the same duties as other teachers

and deserve the same respect.

Well, hey, that should be easy.

They never get any.

You know, Zack, I was really impressed with your essay.

Why don't you share it with us?

You're kidding, right?

Ahem.

"Why be a teacher when you can be a principal?

"It's the easiest job around.

You don't do anything. Ask Belding. The end."

Zack, your wish has come true.

You are our new student-principal.

Me? You mean I'll have your job for a week?

That's right, Mr. Morris.

We're switching places.

You are the principal, and I am the student.

Well, fine, Richard.

Now move your car. It's parked in my space.

I didn't know you want to teach, Kelly.

You know, I've been thinking about teaching a lot lately.

Teachers help people. They can make a difference.

If you were my teacher, I'd stay after school every day.

You do that now.

If I'm good at teaching, I've found a career.

I'm going to be a good principal.

I'll make Bayside more interesting.

Really? How?

By, uh, enlarging the peepholes

in the girls' locker room.

[blows whistle]

I'm Muscle Screech from Muscle Beach,

but starting tomorrow, you can call me "Teach."

Hey, buddy, why are you teaching gym?

[imitating German accent] So that I can pump you up.

This is you, Ox.

No, that's "X." I'm Ox, dummy.

Trust me, ok?

Forgive him.

He played last week without a helmet.

I sensed that.

- [bell rings] - I'll get it.

Would you all please take your seats?

Hey.

Ok, Kelly.

Uh, please, it's Miss Kapowski.

Yeah, sure.

Come on, you're kidding, right?

Sit down, Slater.

Sorry I'm late.

I stopped to buy you a welcome present.

That's nice.

They were out of apples, so I got you applesauce.

Thank you... I think.

Good morning, class.

- Good morning. - Good morning, Kel.

I'm your new teacher Kelly.

I mean, Miss Kazowski-- Kapowski.

Yeah, that's it.

Today we're going to talk about

World War I and World War II.

Hey, that's World War III!

What is?

When you add them together.

Ha ha!

It is, isn't it?

Well, now, let's talk about your homework assignment

last night from Mr. McGee.

What big event started World War I?

The assassination of Archduke Francis Ferdinand of Austria.

Good. And when did--

June 28, 1914.

Right again. And who--

quit sucking up.

Slater, when did Turkey enter the war?

On Thanksgiving?

Ha ha ha! Ha ha!

No. In late October, 1914.

Slater, when did World War I end?

Probably before World War II began.

Ha ha! Ha ha!

It's not funny.

Bull, do you know the answer?

Huh?

Ox?

Ha ha!

Did anyone do their homework?

I did.

Oh, suck up! Suck up!

This is your Principal, Mr. Morris.

Will the following students please come to my office --

Heather McGinley and Gina Larue?

Since most of you didn't read the chapters,

I suggest you study them along with chapter 10 for tomorrow's test.

Test? We have practice till 7:00,

then we have to learn our new plays.

Sorry. I have to follow Mr. McGee's lesson plan.

We'll see about that.

Girls, I've been reviewing your records and they seem incomplete.

How, Principal Morris?

Please, call me Principal Zack.

Well, all your grades seem to be here,

but your files don't say anything about, uh...

boyfriends.

Oh, I just broke up with my boyfriend, Principal Zack.

I don't know what to do.

I do.

Let's go to a movie tomorrow night.

I feel better already.

See, I care about my students.

I don't have a boyfriend either, principal Zack.

Please call me Zack,

and please call me tonight.

I'll put you on speed-dial.

Oh, speed-dial.

Bye.

Oh ho ho! Yes!

Slam dunk! Oh!

Hi. I just came to get my datebook.

You shouldn't be dating. You're married.

Very funny.

I'll just be a second. It's in the top drawer.

Wait a minute. Did I send for you?

No.

Do you have a pass to be in here?

Well, no...

Then I am sending you to detention, Richie.

Well, that is ridiculous, Zack.

It is Principal Morris to you,

and you're getting double detention for showing no respect.

Now get back to class.

Shoo! Shoo!

Oh!

Oh, great.

Listen, Zack.

Kelly is taking this teacher thing too seriously.

She's giving a test tomorrow,

but we have to get ready for the game.

Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

Miss Kapowski, please report to my office immediately.

Thanks, pal.

It's good to know low people in high places.

Oh!

Yo, secretary, call and order six pizzas.

I'm having lunch with the girls' swim team.

Oh, and charge it to Richie Belding.

[knock on door]

Come in.

You wanted to see me?

I wanted to say I've heard good things about you.

Really? I'm glad.

I'm trying to do a good job like our regular teachers.

Kelly, we have an opportunity here to do something special--

please sit--

to get away from the old ways where learning is full of stress and for once

make it fun.

How do we do that?

By getting rid of the pressures.

We eliminate tests.

We know how we hate them.

I want my students to enjoy learning

and not worry about grades.

You're really taking your job seriously.

You bet, Kelly.

Now will you support my no-test policy?

- I'm with you, Zack. - Thank you.

Boy, I'm good.

I almost believed that speech myself.

All right, you Limp Lucies, line up.

Suck in that gut, jelly belly.

You call that a pec? I call it a problem.

Is that your chest, or did two Tic-Tacs fall down your shirt?

Get 'em moving, Screech.

I want to see hard bodies around here.

What does this remind you of?

An x-ray with hair.

Jessie, how come you're not working out?

I want to review my notes for your test.

Zack's doing away with tests.

He wants learning to be fun.

Oh, get real, Kelly.

Zack's idea of a good education

is sitting between a pretty girl and a smart nerd.

Being principal has changed him.

Did you hit your head on a pompom again?

Hey, Jessie, Kelly.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hey, A.C.! - Hey, hey, fellas!

Huh! Huh! Grrr!

Huh huh huh huh!

They should be caged and given bananas.

Slater, I have good news.

The test is off.

Alright. I knew Zack could do it.

Do what?

Uh... nothing... nothing.

What do you mean?

Zack got teach to cancel that test.

Oh, I get it.

Well, this cheerleader says the test is O-N on.

But Kelly, I didn't study.

Yeah, if we take that test, we'll flink.

That's flunk, Ox.

I guess the football players aren't coming.

Well, at least you showed up for the test.

If the jocks aren't taking it, why should we?

You care more about education than they do.

Nerd myth. Nerd myth.

Deep down, we like to party!

Hey, wait for us.

Nerds are better than nothing.

I don't believe this!

Well, I'm glad you're responsible.

Thanks for staying, Jessie.

Who says I'm staying?

What?

But you're our class president.

Kelly, there's no way I'm going to take your stupid test alone.

If I panic, I'll get a low grade.

There will be no curve to pull me up.

See ya, sister.

Whoa! Has there been a bomb scare?

The football players cut a test, so everyone ditched.

Kelly, it looks like you've lost control of your class.

That reflects on the teacher as much as the students.

What do I do? You're the principal.

No, I'm a guy who just bribed Mr. Tuttle to get out of detention.

Zack's the principal now.

He's the problem. Can't you do something?

No, but you can.

Aw, look, Kelly,

a good teacher can always find a way to get through to anyone.

Well, gotta go.

I don't have a hall pass!

- Kelly. - You need to take school seriously.

What?

- Who do you think you are? - I'm your teacher.

Please, you're not a real teacher.

Hey, what is going on here?

Slater and the players purposely cut class to miss my test.

What are you going to do?

I am going to take stern action.

You're on probation, Miss Kapowski, for violating my no-test policy.

What?

You've let me down.

I've let you down?

Yes. You're taking this teacher thing way too seriously.

I'm the only one who is.

I'm working hard because it's important to me.

Listen, Kelly.

I work just as hard as you do.

I put in a full day of school and practice till dark.

Then I hit the books till 12:00 or 1:00 and why?

Because everyone wants us to beat Valley.

I deserve a break.

- Good point. Chip? - Thank you.

I have a week to prove myself as a teacher,

and you break the rules.

Everyone walks out, and I'm known as Kelly Kapowski "The girl with no class."

Why must be a loser so you can be a winner?

Mmm. Good point, too.

Zack, you can't let the football players get away with this.

Kelly, come on. I bet on this game.

And I bet a lot on you

as a boyfriend, a friend, and now as a principal.

You know, I always thought you were special.

I guess I lost that bet.

You're still special to me, Zack.

Really special.

Can't we work out a compromise?

- No! - No!

You're both my friends. I don't know what to do.

Do the right thing...

If you remember what that is.

You wanted to see me, Principal Morris?

It wasn't me who put jell-o in the pool.

No, that's not it.

I'm quitting. I don't want to be principal anymore.

I don't want the job.

I'm having too much fun being a student.

We're going to moon the crossing guard.

Come on, stop it.

Stop acting like Zack Morris?

Well... yeah.

No way.

- Ouch! - Ha ha!

- I'm out of here. - Hey, no, you're not.

The purpose of the student-teacher project is to learn responsibility.

You're going to stick with it until you do.

I'm between two friends.

No matter what I do I'll lose one of them.

Being principal isn't about friends.

It's about doing what's best for the school.

Well, see you at the pep rally.

Hey, we're going to beat Valley, right?

Right.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ready! O.K.

? Hit 'em, pound 'em flat like bread ?

? Fight 'em, bite 'em till the field runs red ?

? Block 'em, sock 'em, knock 'em dead ?

? Then pick them up and spike their head ?

? Beat Valley! ?

I don't get it.

How come you're here cheering for us?

I want the team to win, too, just not your way.

Now our gym teacher wants to say a few words to the football team.

Men, you can beat Valley.

Your bodies have come a long way in the time I've had you,

just like mine.

[pop]

Thank you, coach.

Tomorrow is the day we've all been waiting for.

We'll bring the championship back to Bayside, right?

[cheering]

And now my best buddy

and the football team's favorite principal,

Zack Morris.

I want to wish the football team the best of luck today,

but winning's not going to be easy

because I'm suspending A.C. Slater

and the other players who skipped Miss Kapowski's test.

The team will play without them.

[booing and hissing]

What you did took courage.

I admire you, Zack.

I'm glad somebody does.

I have fewer friends than Belding.

I should go on Love Connection.

You did what was right.

You are special.

Well, thanks.

The kids don't seem to think so and everyone in school hates me.

It's only a game. They'll get over it.

Hrrr! Hrrr!

? Down with Zack! He's a hack ?

? We want Mr. Belding back! ?

Hey! You said you were on our side.

- Why did you turn on us? - You broke the rules.

I'll break your neck!

And I'll break your neck!

Do you want me to send for your mother?

Gosh, no, she'd kill me.

Mine, too.

It's going to be your fault if we lose, Preppy.

No, it's your fault.

Your first duty here is to get an education and not play football.

You took advantage of Kelly because she's your friend.

Would you have skipped McGee's test?

Kill him! String him up!

Hey! Wait! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Settle down!

Look, uh... Zack's right.

I'm sorry, Kelly.

I wasn't being a good friend.

That's O.K., Slater. Apology accepted.

Oh! Oh! Whew!

Bye!

Friends, Preppie?

Hey, man, what do you think?

I wish we could play.

I wish I could give my test.

I bought stick-on smiley faces.

If the football players took the test,

would you agree they could play?

I guess so. If they passed.

The kickoff's in half an hour.

When will we take it, during the game?

You're catching on.

[cheering]

- It's terrible. - What happened?

There's no mustard for the hot dogs.

In the game.

Valley scored on a trick play.

They surprised us like...

Japan surprised us at Pearl Harbor in 1941.

Screech, get out of here.

Eee!

[cheering]

Valley scored again. We're sunk...

Just like the allies sunk the Bismarck.

Nice try. We're past that question.

Screech, I'm warning you.

Hey, what's the score?

Valley's winning 21-nothing.

Well, how?

They scored on a long bomb just like--

Screech, if you come in here again, I'll kill you.

Hopefully, you'll bury me next to the unknown soldier in Arlington, Virginia.

Hey, thanks. I got it right.

Guess what. You all passed!

Hey!

Guys, look at the cute little smiley faces.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Let's get out there and win that title, huh?

Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

And you deserve an award, too.

There you go.

You're going to be a great teacher.

Thanks.

You going to be a principal someday?

Go to school when I don't have to? No way.

You're probably wondering if we beat Valley.

Well...

Bayside 28, Valley 21.

Go Bayside.

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