Original subtitles

(bell rings)

? When I wake up in the morning and the alarm gives out a warning ?

? I don't think I'll ever make it on time ?

? By the time I grab my books and I give myself a look ?

? I'm at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ?

? If the teacher pops a test I know I'm in a mess ?

? And my dog ate all my homework last night ?

? Ridin' low in my chair, she won't know that I'm there ?

? If I can hand it in tomorrow it will be all right ?

? It's all right ?

? 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the-- ?

? It's all right, 'cause I'm saved by the bell ?

You may not know this, but we're in big trouble.

It all began when Jessie's wicked stepbrother Eric

moved to California.

He blackmailed Slater and me with some tapes.

I bribed Lisa into going out with him,

so we could get a picture of Eric driving Mrs. Belding's new car.

Unfortunately, Eric let Lisa drive the car

and when Screech took a flash shot,

it blinded her and she crashed into a brick wall.

Well, the bolt snapped on the bumper--

I'm estimating about 40 bucks.

How much for the fender?

Let me put it this way, if you have a rich uncle,

now is the time for him to die.

Great.

Hey, Screech, is the oil line leaking?

Not anymore.

This doesn't look good, Zack. Between the fender,

the bumper, and the hose, we're looking at at least $600.

Maybe we could sell Screech to Exxon.

Forget it, they'd never buy a geek that doesn't squeak.

The only way we'll get $600 is to win the lottery.

Hey, Screech, you've just given me a great idea.

Oh no, Zack, the last time you had a great idea

I wound up naked in a jar full of jelly beans.

Slater lent Eric Mrs. Belding's new car,

and then when Zack and Screech took a picture of me driving,

the flash blinded me and I crashed, it was so exciting.

- What? - Eric said not to worry,

because Zack and Slater would get what they deserve.

Zack and Slater have some explaining to do.

Hi, sis, how you doin'?

It's Ms. Sis to you, and smile when you say that.

What's bothering her?

She's just having a bumpy ride through the wonder years.

Listen, I've got front-row tickets to the MC Hammer concert,

- you wanna come? - MC Hammer tickets.

You really wanna take me?

Lady, you got yourself a date.

Oh great, but this time let's take a cab.

Okay, get rich quick.

Buy a ticket to Bayside's official secret math lottery.

- The lucky winner will get $600-- - All right, all right. Yeah.

The winner will be announced in Mr. Sachs' algebra class

- this afternoon, so be there. - Yeah.

- All right. - What are the odds of winning?

Ollie, this could be your lucky day.

Count me in, then I'll have good looks and money.

All right. Okay, they're only $1, get 'em while they're hot.

- Hot, hot, hot, here we go. - All right.

Zack: Here's the-- all right.

- You got a ticket? All right. - Slater: Serious cash.

- Here's serious cash. - Check this out.

- Whoa. - Wow.

Looks like we almost have enough to fix the car.

- Yeah, it's great. - How are we gonna pay the winner?

Screech, congratulations. You're gonna win the lottery.

- Congratulations, man. - I am? Wow!

Now I can afford to buy that Jacuzzi for my turtle tank.

- Tickets, get your tickets. - Tickets right over here.

Zack: Get a ticket. Pass the ticket right here.

You got a ticket? Okay, you got a ticket.

- Oo-ooh. - Yes.

Check this out. You want a ticket, brother?

And how many do you want? Whoops.

Exactly what are you doing, Slater?

Protecting your reputation, Mama.

Do you want the whole school to hear you call me your Curly Conan?

Shh! Slater, I thought you took care of that.

Hey, I did. Just not well.

What's your story, Zack?

Eric's threatening to tell Belding I'm not Jewish.

- You're not Jewish, Zack. - I know that,

but I converted for the Dodger game.

Was wrecking Belding's car part of your religious experience?

Don't worry, we're running a lottery to buy new parts,

then Slater's gonna fix the car in the auto shop.

It's cool, Belding won't be back for two days.

? Shoo-ba-do-bop-bop, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, whoa ?

Hey, gang, guess who's back early?

Relax, it's cool.

Mr. Belding, what are you doing here?

The conference was a bore and I missed my wife.

- Oh. - Surprised?

Surprised doesn't cover it, sir.

Shocked is more like it.

- Good luck, boys. - Hey, Jess--

So, Slater, where's the car? I can't wait to play this new CD.

Hey, what you got there? Let me see.

- "Bo Jackson Sings the Blues." - Oo-ooh.

- That's one of my favorites too, sir. - Yeah.

Hey, Bo knows blues.

Let's go to the car and we'll listen to it on my new CD player.

No, no, no, sir, sir. Now is not a good time.

- Why not? - You see, it's not ready, sir.

We weren't expecting you until tomorrow.

Is something wrong, Slater?

Actually, sir, there are just a few little pieces missing.

Yeah, yeah.

You see, sir, the car-- the car is Japanese

and the CD player-- it's German,

- Zack: when you-- - In plain English, what he's saying,

in order to make them compatible

we had to order a "Gaheinadorfenflagen."

Yeah, that's right! To hook up with the--

with the "Yamasushi...

Yakatori...

Both: Speakaleaker."

But don't worry about that, sir. That way we'll avoid static

in the "Dinglehoffen-Farben."

- It sounds complicated. - The hardest part is saying it,

- right, Slater? - Oh, right. Don't worry, sir.

We'll have it ready before you can say "fahrvergnugen."

"Farfeg-noo-gen..."

Okay, quiet down. Here's how we're gonna pick the winner,

Mr. Sachs will pull an algebra question from the box as he does every week.

The person with the last five numbers of the answer

will win $600.

- Good morning, class. - All right.

Wait a minute, there's gotta be some sort of mistake.

I know most of you don't belong in this class.

Sir, your fame is spreading. Everybody wants to be

a part of your incredible "stump the teacher" exercise.

Well, that's very flattering, class,

- shall we get on with it? - Hey, yeah! Come on.

- They love algebra, sir. - Let's see who can stump me today.

Bet you don't know how we're gonna pull this one off.

(bell ringing)

Fire drill, fire drill. Remain calm.

Everybody vacate this room. This door only. Remain calm.

Heh heh heh.

Ready?

- A equals five-- - (class cheering)

Thank you.

- Nine-- - (class cheering)

I've never seen such math enthusiasm.

- Four-- - (class cheering)

This is unbelievable.

It's algebra fever, sir. Go on, we can't wait.

Oh, all right. Let's see, seven--

- (scattered cheers) - Seven, yes.

Seven, rats, I guess I'm still just another pretty face.

The last number is... two.

I won!

- I won! - What?

- He means you're wonderful, sir. - Oh, thank you.

I like you too, Screech. Thank you very much.

We need the money to fix Belding's car.

But I've never won anything like this before.

The closest I ever came was winning third place

at the Wile E. Coyote look-alike contest.

Screech, just give me the money or I'm gonna flush you home.

All right, see?

Well, well, isn't this interesting?

- What are you doing here? - It's a bathroom, take a guess.

The way I see it, every kid in this school

might be interested in knowing that you rigged the lottery.

- Yeah, so, what's your point? - I could forget about the whole thing,

if this time you lent me your car to drive my girl to the concert.

Listen, she's not your girl, punk.

The only reason Lisa went out with you is because I bribed her.

- Get out of here, she likes me. - Oh, yeah?

Ask her where she got front-row tickets to the MC Hammer concert.

- He's kidding, isn't he, Slater? - Nope.

Hi, Eric, sit down.

- I don't know if I'm staying. - Good.

Lisa, where'd you get the MC Hammer tickets?

- Why? - They're so hard to get,

I just wondered how you got them.

I got them from Zack.

You mean you bought them from Zack.

Not exactly.

What does that mean?

Well, he-- he gave them to me.

You mean he bribed you with them to go on a date with me.

- It's not what you think. - Is it true? Yes or no?

Yes, but you don't understand--

I understand all right.

When you told me you liked me that was a lie too.

Lisa, I never want to see you again.

Eric, wait, listen to me.

Is this true, Lisa?

(sobbing) Yes.

But when I took the tickets I didn't like him.

And now I don't like me.

All right, you future mechanics...

today we're gonna get down and get dirty.

I love getting dirty, it's macho.

Usually we don't get a car till the end of the year,

but we takes what we can get when we gets it.

Mr. Screech, please undress the car.

I'd rather not, we haven't been formally introduced.

Oh, excuse me.

Mr. Powers, this is the car;

Car, Mr. Powers. Now you're properly introduced.

- Strip it. - I can't, we've just met.

- I'll do it. - All right, thanks, Eric.

Whoa. Looks like Mr. El Cheapo Beldo

went and got us a great junker.

This baby's only got about--

$500 worth of damage on it.

It's $610.

- And how do you know that? - Just a shot in the dark.

Okay. Pop the hood, let's take apart the carburetor.

Mr. Sonski, in New York we took apart the whole car.

Did the owners know?

Or was it a surprise when they left the restaurant?

That's a joke, kid.

I think we could learn more if we took apart the whole car.

Aw, don't do that. Please don't do that.

Why not?

'Cause it hasn't done anything to you.

You know, Screech, you could drive a crazy man nuts.

Now get to work, men and ladies.

You'll have to go through me first.

By tomorrow this baby will be as good as new.

Better than new, Preppie.

- I don't think so. - Oh, man.

How did this happen?

(moaning)

What's that noise?

(moaning continues)

- It's coming from under here. - Hey.

- Both: Hey, Screech. - What are you doing in there?

Well, there's not room to do much.

- Who did this, Screech? - Jessie's sweet little brother.

- Oh, man. - We are in big trouble.

So am I, I've had to go to the bathroom for two hours.

Slater, do you think you can fix this?

I don't know, Preppie, I've never put a whole car together before.

You should have been here when we took it apart.

Wait a minute, you helped take it apart?

- You-- - Wha--

Guys, honest, I tried to stop them.

Guys? It's dark in here.

Guys?!

(knocking on door)

Can I come in?

You're already in.

I really wanna talk to you.

It's a free country, talk.

- Lisa is really upset. - So am I.

For some strange reason she really likes you.

She likes me so much that she helped Slater and Zack set me up.

She had nothing to do with that, besides--

- you started the whole thing. - And I finished it too.

What are you talking about?

I had the shop class take apart Belding's car.

That Mr. Sonski's a pretty cool guy, he even gave me an A.

- You did what? - They'll never get it back together

by tomorrow. And that'll teach them to mess with me.

They could be expelled. Don't you care about who you hurt?

Nope, just as long as it's not me.

You are a selfish, inconsiderate excuse for a human being.

- If I was a guy, I'd punch you out. - Too bad you're just a chick.

Just a chick?

Just a chick?!

- I can't believe you just did that. - You want more?

I was excited about you coming here. I never had a brother,

and I thought we could have fun, be close and do things together.

I tried to make us like a real family,

but you wouldn't even give it a chance.

And you know what?

I don't want a brother anymore.

Look, guys, I'm sorry, it's no use, okay?

- I can't put the car back together. - But we were counting on you.

You're our only hope.

I don't need this pressure.

I'm the captain of the wrestling team and the football team.

I've got great dimples, good teeth, and the biggest muscles in school.

Isn't that enough for my friends? What's up?

- I'm sorry, Slater, just chill out. - Shh.

Maybe if we play the CD real loud Mr. Belding won't notice that

the windshield, the drive shaft, and the doors are missing.

I'm just trying to lighten the emotional load here.

There's a better way to do that.

Oh yeah, sure, beat on the little guy.

Blame the geek.

It wasn't even my fault, Eric started it.

Oh, not really, Screech. I started it by cutting school.

I could have stopped it, but beating Eric was more important to me.

And I should have let Jessie work out her own problems with her brother.

And I shouldn't have drunk all that water

before he put me in the tires.

Well, guys, what are we gonna do?

We've gotta take the heat. There's nothing left but tell the truth.

- Tell him, Zack. - I guess you didn't hear about

the hurricane that hit Los Angeles last night.

Yeah, it landed right on top of the auto shop.

Your car, sir, is in 1,000 pieces,

- but we found them all. - Yeah.

- You guys are such kidders. - Wait till you see the car.

- So how's the CD player? - Oh, it's in, sir.

- Is it easy to get to? - Yes, especially if the door's missing.

You're just trying to make me nervous.

Mr. Belding, we really have to tell you something.

Tell me later. I can't wait.

Unison: We can.

Well, this is a surprise.

Oh boy, we're dead.

Don't be too hard on us, sir.

Wow!!

You did a great job, Slater.

- I did? - Yeah!

- Yeah, I did. - PA system: Mr. Belding,

there's an emergency in the cafeteria.

There's either mice on the loose, or the meatloaf has legs.

I'll play these CDs later. Thanks, boys.

Zack: Wait a minute.

If I didn't fix it and you didn't fix it,

then who did?

I did.

- You? Why? - I like putting cars together.

- You didn't have to do this. - I know.

Where'd you get that black eye?

You've got a tough girlfriend, Slater.

Jessie hit you?

Yeah, whatever you do, don't call her a chick.

I could have told you that.

Look, guys, I don't fit in around here,

so I'm moving back to New York.

- You're kidding? - Would I lie?

- Both: Would you lie... - Slater: ...come on.

- These are for you. - Our tapes.

I thought you said you had 20 of these?

So I lied.

Shalom, Zack. See you, Curly Conan.

Don't say that out loud.

Take care of my sister.

You got it.

- (knocking on door) - Come in.

I heard you fixed Belding's car.

Who squealed?

- What are you doing? - Giving you your room back.

I'm going to New York to live with my aunt.

She doesn't have a good right cross.

- I'm sorry I hit you. - Me too, it hurt.

Now that I'm leaving it should make all your friends happy.

Don't be so sure about that.

- Guys. - Hey, hon.

- Zack: How you doing? - Slater: What's up, Eric?

You can all beat me up now?

No, Eric, I called New York and they don't want you back.

I think you should stay.

All you California guys talk like you've been in the sun too long.

Why do you want me to stay?

Well, 'cause you make it interesting.

You keep me on my toes.

I know you don't have any friends out here,

I could introduce you to some pretty cool guys.

Do you play chess?

What about you?

Me?

The truth is, that if Zack hadn't bribed me,

I would have never gone out with you.

But I'm glad I did,

because I really got a chance to get to know you.

Eric, please don't go.

I'd really miss you.

(crying) That was beautiful.

- It's okay, Screech. It's okay. - (sniffs)

Thanks, guys. Give me a minute alone with Eric.

All right.

Look, Eric,

when our parents got married,

I thought we'd all just magically love each other.

What, like "The Brady Bunch"?

Yeah.

But you had to leave everything,

your house, your friends, your school.

I don't know what would happen if I had to move to New York.

Every mugger would leave town. They'd be afraid of your right cross.

What I'm saying is,

would you give it another chance?

You really mean it?

I do.

You know, I never wanted a sister,

but it might not be so bad.

Okay.

I'll hang around for a while.

How about a hug for your sister?

Now get out of my room.

(instrumental theme music playing)

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