All language subtitles for Saved by the Bell s01e12 The Mamas and the Papas.eng

* When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning *

* I don't think I'll ever
make it on time *

* By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look *

* I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell *

* If the teacher pops a test,
I know I'm in a mess *

* And my dog ate
all my homework last night *

* Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there *

* If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... *

* It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the... *

* It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the... *

* It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell. *

This is the greatest day
of my school life.

As part of
the social science project,

I'm marrying Kelly.

It's the first assignment where
I can't wait to tackle the homework.

Mr. Belding,
what are you doing here?

- I'm here to marry you.
- Well, you're not my type.

Button it, Zack, or you'll be
honeymooning in detention.

Buttoned, sir.

Class, your regular teacher,
Miss Laurette,

eloped last night
with the shop teacher.

So I'm taking her place.

- Let's get started.
- Why do I have to marry Screech?

Yeah, and why did Preppie
wind up with my Kelly?

Your Kelly?

May I remind you, Slater,
that no woman is your possession.

She's right.
Kelly's mine.

Miss Turtle, all the couples
were matched alphabetically.

I'm changing
my name to Zigowitz.

Couples, your grade will be
determined by how well

you communicate and handle
life's little differences.

Now, do you boys
take these girls

to be your school wives?

You bet!

I guess.

Wahoo!

That's what Mrs. Belding said
when we got married.

- Girls?
- I do.

- I do.
- I don't!

Lisa, it's only five days.

Wahoo.

I now pronounce you
school husbands and wives.

Our experiment will conclude
Friday night at the Max.

Hope you're still speaking
to each other by then.

I think pretend marriage is
a great way to learn about life.

I think a pretend honeymoon
would be better.

I'll pretend
you didn't say that.

What's wrong with it,
Mrs. Slater?

Mrs. Slater?

If I really married you,
I wouldn't use your last name.

- Whose last name would you use?
- Mine.

This chick's crazy.

I bet you want me
to have the kids, too?

If you think you have
the stomach for it.

Very funny.

But I would expect you
to stay home and take care of them.

Lots of men take care of the kids
when the wife works.

The wife works.
Hey, I like that concept.

I stay home and watch
"Young and The Restless. "

You sound like
"The Blond and The Useless. "

Good one, darling.

I think humor is very important
in keeping a marriage together.

Oh yeah. Other things
are important, too.

Really, Slater?

Well, sure. Trust,
understanding and great legs.

Zack: Yeah.

- You macho pig.
- Oink, oink, baby.

What do you think is the most
important thing about a marriage?

That's easy, kissing.

- That's terrible.
- Not the way I do it, Peach Cake.

Lisa, a wedding surprise for you.

Wow, is this from you, Max?

Come in.

Screech, what are
you doing here?

Don't talk. Let's go where
the music takes us.

It's gonna take you
right out the door.

What's with the suitcase?

Now that we're married,
I'm moving in.

We are not married.
Take a reality pill.

You're beautiful
when you're angry.

Look what you're doing to me!

Yeah, you do strange
things to me, too.

Where do you want
my white mice?

Inside of a white cat.
Now will you please leave?

Don't fight it.
Tell me how you really feel.

Out!

I forgot to kiss you goodbye.

Dear Lord, thanks for everything
you've given me today...

except of course,
for Screech.

Time to get up, darling.

The morning sunrise
is no match for you.

Let's work out.

Help! Someone save me!

Hold me, honey.
I'll protect you.

All right, everyone,
now today,

we've turned the classroom
into a newlywed's apartment.

Our first couple
is Mr. And Mrs. Slater.

- Spano-Slater please.
- How modern.

Here's your situation.

You both work
and arrive home at dinnertime.

And you're hungry, okay?

Places.

Let's watch, darling. It can only
help us grow together.

- Okay.
- I'm home.

Great, I'm starved.

Me too. What are you
fixing for dinner?

Nothing. I'm a guy.

Slater!

Well, why don't you just call me
what you usually call me?

What's that?

Tiger Man.

Look, Slater,
since we both work

we should share
the household chores.

- Fine. You cook, I'll eat.
- Zack: Yeah!

Haven't you ever heard
of the Women's Movement?

Well, sure. Put on something cute
and move it into the kitchen.

Mr. Belding, he doesn't
want a wife, he wants a maid.

Would he settle
for a mother-in-law?

Okay, then that's the problem
you two will have to work out.

- Thanks.
- Sure.

Now, our next couple
is the Morris-Kapowskis.

I'm an old-fashioned girl.
Mrs. Morris will be fine.

Kelly Morris. Wow.

I've died and gone to heaven.

Now, here is their situation.

A tearful Kelly
has wrecked Zack's car.

Belding: Okay.

Zack, I've done
something terrible.

Who cares? Kiss me.

Zack, affection does not
solve all problems.

- Solves mine.
- Try again.

Zack, I totaled
your new Ferrari.

- I don't know what to say.
- You poor, poor thing.

You're too upset
to talk right now.

Very good, Zack.

Let's kiss until
you calm down.

Heel, Zack.
I think you should calm down.

Now, for our third couple.
Is it the Turtle-Powers?

It's the Turtles.
I'm taking her name.

Okay, Screech has
just lost his job

and comes home
looking for comfort.

Lisa?

Okay.

Oh, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.

Lisa no en casa.

I love it
when you speak German.

What do you want?

I was fired today.

So?

I don't think I have
the strength to go on living.

Okay.

Lisa, your husband
needs more support.

Hold me. As long as I have you,
I have the strength to go on.

Is something wrong, Lisa?

Mr. Belding,
I can't go on with this.

I'm allergic to Screech.

Darling, I won't leave
you while you're ill.

Let me take care of you.

Whoa. I think you are
allergic to him.

I have no choice
but to annul this marriage.

Annul?

Does this mean that Lisa
and I aren't married anymore?

Afraid so, Screech.

- Screech.
- Screech.

What?

Now, usually, our married couples
get a sack of flour

to simulate
the responsibility of a child.

Believe me, it's the driest baby
you'll ever have.

But this year
I've changed the rules.

And guess what,
they're not babies!

You're getting teenagers!

Why teenagers?

So you can understand why
your parents' hair is turning gray.

- Who are they?
- I'm glad you asked.

Behind these two doors
are a son and a daughter.

It's kind of like,
"Let's Make a Deal. "

Zack and Kelly,
why don't you pick first?

Daddy!

He's not my son.

There must have been
a mix-up at the hospital.

No.

What a hot mommy.

Slater, we're both
having this child.

Lisa, our baby.

I'm not a baby.
I'm a young woman.

I want a big allowance, no curfew,
and my own phone. Okay?

You sound
just like your mother.

Screech, what are you doing
with that toothpaste?

I'm making
a symbolic statement.

Lisa has given me the brush.

Come on, Screech,
it's not that bad.

Oh, yeah? I started out
the week as a single teenager.

All of a sudden
I'm Lisa's husband.

Now I'm Kelly and Zack's kid.

By tomorrow
I'll probably be Jessie's dog.

Screech, this is just
make-believe.

Ha! Maybe for you it was.

For me it was the real thing.
My moment in time.

You got a problem with that,
dimples?

Screech, what are you doing?

All right, look...
Screech, come out of there.

I'm not gonna hurt you.

In fact, I think
I can help you with Lisa.

Help with Lisa?

I'll be right down.

Screech? Come on.

Don't worry, I won't hurt you.

Now, what about my woman?

Come here.
Lisa's my daughter now,

and my daughter listens to me
when it comes to things like

what boys she dates.

I thought you said
that was all make-believe.

But she needs a good grade,
and that's real.

She has to listen to her daddy.

Would you do that for me?

That depends on
what you would do for me.

I could teach you how to drink
a Slurpie through your nose.

Well, that's a start.

So, dealing with the unexpected
is one of the keys

to a successful marriage.

Now, Zack, desires a romantic
evening alone with Kelly.

- Boy, do I.
- I am talking about the assignment.

Kelly has plans of her own.

Okay.

Honey, I'm home.

I have a surprise for you, Zack.

A surprise?

Dad, my bike has a flat tire.

Put a Band-Aid on it.

- What were you saying, honey?
- Zack, he's your child.

- He just wants your attention.
- Attention? All right.

I'll give him more attention.

Son...

- get lost.
- Zack?

Mom, Dad's not relating to me.

He's right, Zack.
That's no way to treat your son.

But you're doing a good job, Mom.
Keep it up.

Screech, I'm sorry.

Now let go of Mommy,
and go to your room.

No.

- I'm your father. Go!
- Mom, call 911!

There's nothing to worry about.

Your father loves you.
Don't you, Zack? Tell him.

I I-love you, Screech.

You're just saying that
to get close to Mommy.

I know, Dad.

Mr. Belding,
Screech is acting like a jerk.

Well, teenagers are often
annoying one minute,

and perfect angels the next.

You should know that.

Now, what was
the big surprise for me?

I'm gonna have another baby.

Great. That's all I need
is Screech, part two.

Wonderful.

Zack, you are a terrible father.
I don't want to be married

to someone who doesn't
like children.

Kelly, what are you saying?

- I'm leaving.
- I'm going, too.

I'll send for my ant farm.

This is awful.

If I can't stay married to Kelly,
she'll never go out with me.

You know, Jessie, I've been
selfish about our marriage.

I'm going to stay home,
and raise our little Lisa

so that you can be
a full-time lawyer.

Well, Slater, I am impressed.

Spare me.

I want to have
at least seven kids.

Great, so I'll have to take
a number to get into the bathroom.

Seven kids?
Slater, I don't know...

No, no, no.
It's all right, darling.

I'll give up my career,
and take care of them all.

Why? Because I'm a good father.

Knock, knock, knock.

Mr. Spano-Slater, I've come to take
your daughter Lisa to the movies.

How sweet.

Lisa's not home right now, so when
you hear the beep, hang up.

Beep.

She's home.
I see her right there.

Well, Screech, I'm sorry, buddy.
I did my best.

Thanks for coming over.

Wait a second.

You promised me a date with Lisa
if I broke up Kelly and Zack.

- What?
- What?

- What?
- Ooops!

Kids, you never know
what they're going to say.

You have made a mockery
out of mock marriage.

- I'm failing all of you.
- Let's be fair about this, sir.

We shouldn't all fail.
Just Screech and Slater.

Why me? They're fathers,
I'm just a kid.

You are all to blame for bringing
your personal rivalries

into this project.

Slater, why did you try to break up
Zack and Kelly's marriage?

Because I wanted
to be married to Kelly.

Home wrecker.
You stay away from my mommy.

- She's not your mommy.
- Is that true, Daddy?

I'm not your daddy!

Great! Now I'm an orphan.
What a week!

Boys, I am very disappointed
in all of you.

At least the girls found out
about you before it was too late.

You're right, Mr. Belding.

We really acted like jerks.

- We're sorry.
- Yeah.

Will you let us back
into the project?

That's really up to the girls,
now, isn't it?

Well, if the girls say no,
will you be my daddy?

Max, thanks for letting us use
your place for our project.

Think of it
as another classroom.

- Good evening.
- Good evening, Max.

Your wife and daughter
are here, Mr. Slater.

Thank you, Max.

Ladies, you both
look dynamite tonight.

Let me help you
with this, honey.

It's not necessary,
but thank you.

I hope you'll forgive me
for promising you to Screech, dear.

All right, I forgive you.
Now, let's eat.

- Can I take your order?
- I'll order for everyone, Max.

Thank you, Slater, but you know
I like to order for myself.

I sit corrected.

What's the most expensive thing
on the menu, Max?

The most expensive thing
on the menu, would have to be...

the duck.

Do you have
anything that's dead?

- How about a Max burger?
- I'll have one with everything.

Three Max Burgers, Max.

Slater, you're ordering
for me again.

I can't help it, Jessie. I think
the husband should be the man.

If the husband's a real man,
he wouldn't be threatened

by a woman who knows
what she wants.

You know, Jessie,
you're really a great girl,

but I think we should break up
before I "send you to the moon. "

Slater, what about our grade?

Jessie, two people like us

should never be married.

- It's the truth, isn't it?
- Yeah, I guess so.

It's like the roadrunner
marrying the coyote.

Great! Does this mean
I have to pay for my own burger?

- Good evening.
- Hey.

Thanks, Max.

Thanks for coming.

So, what have you been doing
since I've been away?

The usual.
How about you?

Well, I've been sitting in my room
watching "Brady Bunch" reruns.

You could always
make me laugh, Zack.

It's a shame we don't feel
the same way

about our family
and children.

Maybe that's because
I was an only child

and wanted all
of your attention for myself.

- How's our son, little Screech?
- Talks about you all the time.

Really?

- Thank you.
- Hope you like tonight's special.

It's a little surprise
Max cooked up.

So would you consider
giving me another chance?

I'd have to think about it.

Hi, Dad.

Son.

How I've missed him.

Daddy, where are you?
It's dark in here.

So what do you say?

Will you take me back?

Give him another chance, Mom.
I need a new bike.

Well, Zack,
can you accept the fact

that it's hard to be alone
when you have children?

I can do it.
I mean, I want to do it.

Yeah, but at times
it's nice to be alone, too.

Excuse me, time's up.

- Our project is over.
- Hey, wait.

We're working
on extra credit.

Mr. Belding, I'm sorry,

Slater and I couldn't
make our marriage work.

Jessie, sometimes two people
just aren't compatible.

The important thing is
that both couples

tried to communicate
and they succeeded.

I think you all learned
a lot about yourselves.

All of you pass.
Good work.

- All right. Thanks.
- Thank you.

Zack, I have
that surprise for you.

You do?

Remember in our project
I told you about another child?

- Well, it was a girl.
- A girl. That's great.

Da-da!

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