All language subtitles for Saved by the Bell s01e07 The Substitute.eng

* When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning *

* I don't think I'll ever
make it on time *

* By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look *

* I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell *

* If the teacher pops a test,
I know I'm in a mess *

* And my dog ate
all my homework last night *

* Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there *

* If I can hand it in tomorrow
it'll be all right *

* It's all right *

* 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... *

* It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the- *

* It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the- *

* It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell. *

Teenage girls are suckers
for the great poets,

like Jon Bon Jovi,
Axl Rose, Jazzy Jeff.

And I found this romantic dude

who's going to help me
win Kelly's heart-

Rap master
Will Shakespeare.

I suppose they're not
going to ring the bell,

so we'll start anyway.

All right, class.

We're going
to perform passages

from the balcony scene
in "Romeo and Juliet. "

And do we all know
who the author is?

William Shakespeare.

Shame on you!
William Shakespeare.

Now, our first-
our first Juliet

will be Miss Turtle.

Do we have any volunteers
for our first Romeo?

Me, me!

Then I'll have
to pick someone.

Anyone but Screech.

That's a wonderful
suggestion.

Mr. Screech,
you may begin.

"But, soft! What light
through yonder window breaks?"

Give me a break.

"It is the east,
and Juliet is the...

...sun. "

Arise, dear Juliet and let's cutteth
to the chase.

- Back off, Romeo.
- O fair maiden,

I long to plant one on thy lips,
so pucker up-eth!

Drop deadeth!

Oh, wonderful.

But the swordfight
didn't come until later.

Now, we're going to need
two more volunteers.

For Romeo...

How about you,
Mr. Slater?

Hey, don't worry,

the wrestling team will never
hear about this from me...

Romeo.

Ms. Simpson, as much
as I would love to do this,

Morris here,
he's a much better actor.

He could be another
Pee Wee Herman.

Mr. Morris, very well.
And for Juliet?

Hey, Kelly, there's
a spider on your chair!

Oh, Miss Kapowski.
Excellent.

Hey, hey wait!
Okay, Ms. Simpson, I'll do it.

I'm sorry, you're too late.
We already have a Juliet.

Now then, why don't
we transform

"yon" desk into a balcony,

so that we may realize
the full impact

of this dramatic scene?

All right, Romeo.
You spy your beloved

at her window,
and you begin.

Check it out.

"It 'tis my lady,
O it 'tis my love.

O, that she knew she were!

Her eyes in heaven
shone so bright

That birds would sing
and think it were not night.

O, see how she leans
her cheek upon her hand!

O, that I were
a glove upon that hand,

That I might touch that cheek!"

Wow!

Stay putteth, Juliet.

Oh, drat! There goes
my back again!

- Ms. Simpson are you all right?
- This happens every now and again.

It's an old
hockey injury.

We've got to get you
to the nurse.

Thank you, Miss Spano,

but I really don't think
I can walk in this position.

No sweat, Ms. Simpson,
I've got an idea.

Okay now, don't worry,
Ms. Simpson,

we'll get you
to the nurse.

Okay, let's
bring her out!

Come on,
come on.

Okay now, you've got
to take it slow,

all right, Ms. Simpson?

- Okay, hold on.
- Careful.

- Whoa.
- Here we go.

- Okay.
- Take it easy.

Here's your sweater,
Ms. Simpson.

And here's
your briefcase.

Thank you.
That feels like everything.

Hey, hey, hey!
What is going on here?

Well, Ms. Simpson
hurt herself, Mr. Belding.

Ms. Simpson, did your back
go out again?

No, no.
My back went out again.

We're taking her
to the nurse.

Oh, lovely shoes,
Mr. Belding.

Woman on PA: Mr. Belding,
hurry to the gymnasium.

Tiny Hartwick is caught
in the net again.

I told them to stop
using him as a volleyball.

Ms. Simpson, as long
as you're going by my office,

would you mind dropping
these off for me?

- No, not at all.
- Thanks.

- Okay, now hold on.
- Here we go.

Screech, behold!
My lady sits eating.

Shove off, Morris.

I ignore the insults
of the ignorant,

and approach my love.

Oh, to be that straw,
sitting in my lady's cup.

Gladly would I be
made of plastic,

and risk drowning
in a sea of cola,

for the chance to touch
fair Kelly's lips.

Oh, Zack.

Okay, Preppie.
While you're treading cola,

Kelly and I are going
to the beach.

Kelly, this news
disappoints me verily.

I thought we could rehearse more
scenes from "Romeo and Juliet. "

That's a great idea, Zack.
Sorry, Slater.

What?

I can't believe this.
You'd rather study than go to beach?

"Parting is such
sweet sorrow... "

chump!

Fair Lisa,

would that I were that blob
of ketchup lying on your plate...

so that you may dip
your French fries in my face.

All right everyone,
settle down.

Now as you know,
Ms. Simpson is in the hospital,

so you'll be having
a substitute teacher.

I expect you to be
on your best behavior,

and treat him with the same
respect you show me.

Do you really
mean that, sir?

Zachary,
if I hear anything

about exploding chalk,
superglue on the chairs,

or sneezing powder
in the erasers,

I'm coming after you.

But sir, that's so unfair.

I'm the principal.
I can be unfair.

Well, let's see what kind of dweeb
they throw at us this time.

Good morning,
everyone.

I'm Tony Crane.

You're right, Zack.

The guy looks like
a dweeb to me.

Why don't you tell me
all of your names,

starting with you?

- I'm Slater.
- I'm Screech.

I'm yours.

I'm bummed.

Now as you are
about to see,

I teach Shakespeare
just a little differently.

I want you to feel it
as well as hear it.

I want you to live it.

Now, all we
need is a Juliet.

Okay, Kelly.

Let's turn you
into Juliet.

I didn't know Juliet
was a conehead.

Shh!

Now remember,
above all else

"Romeo and Juliet"
is a love story.

Romeo is so charged
with romantic desires,

he feels he can
fly over walls,

that no barrier can possibly
separate him from his beloved.

We've all felt that way at some
point in our lives, haven't we?

Yes.

He must have
read my diary.

Yeah, and then he
borrowed your blouse.

"With love's light wings
did I o'er-perch these walls;

For stony limits cannot
hold love out,

And what love can do
that dares love attempt. "

"If my kinsmen see thee,
they will murder thee. "

- Go kinsmen!
- Guys: Yeah!

"Look thou but sweet, and I am
proof against their enmity. "

Now what do you
think that means, Jessie?

Whatever you
say, Tony-

I mean Mr. Crane.

Does anyone know what
Shakespeare's saying here?

Nothing, he's dead.

I think he's saying
love is totally awesome.

No.
Yes, in a way.

Love is so awesome
that Romeo feels

a sweet look from Juliet
will make him invincible.

Okay, we'll continue
this tomorrow.

I said we'll continue
this tomorrow.

All:
We'll wait.

Hey, Kelly, you want to play
some Video Bowl?

Sorry, Slater. I don't have
time for kids' games.

We're studying
Shakespeare.

Do you mind? Tony might
call on me tomorrow.

Tony? What's this big deal
about Mr. Crane, anyway?

He's nothing special.
You put a headlock on him,

he'll go down to the mat
just like anyone else.

Slater, you are clearly
incapable of appreciating

someone like Mr. Crane.

He uses his mind,
not his muscles.

What's happening?

We were trying to explain
our new substitute to these guys,

but I guess you can't expect boys
to understand a man.

No, I guess only someone with your
sophistication could do that.

You had the root beer float
with the Gummi Bear swirl?

Greetings,
sweet maidens.

I salute your
beauty and grace.

Hi, Zack.

Fair Kelly, shall we again prepare
together for class on the morrow?

Sorry, Zack, I don't have
time to play dress up.

It's him!

Hey, Slater, now's your chance
to put a headlock on him.

- He sees us!
- What do we do?

We could go to the jukebox.
It's 10 feet closer to him.

Great idea.
Don't be obvious.

Something's rotten
in The Max.

For once,
it's not the chili.

It's going to get worse, Preppie.

I've seen this in other schools
I've been to.

Some smooth-talking teacher
will come in,

before you know it,
he's stolen all our women.

He's going
to take our mothers?

No, not our mothers,
our girls.

Aren't you guys
overreacting?

He's probably got a girlfriend
of his own. He could be married.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

I bet he doesn't even know
those girls are alive.

Would you girls
care to join me?

Sure!

Okay, so he knows
they're alive.

What'd I tell you, huh?

This guy is trouble.

Slater, we spend most
of our time fighting over Kelly.

But maybe,
just for now,

we should join forces
against the common enemy.

What did I do?

Not you, Screech.
Tony Crane.

So what do you say, Slater?

Agreed.

Truce.

Ow!

That was the most romantic lunch
I've ever had.

I'll remember it
for as long as I live.

You know,
now that I've met Tony,

I know that's the kind of man
I'm going to marry.

- Oh, me too.
- Personally, I've always thought

planning my career was more
important than finding a husband...

until now.

How do I look?

Beautiful.
What about me?

Jessie, you're one of three
prettiest brides I've ever seen.

I can't wait
for my honeymoon,

Tony's taking me to Paris.

I've heard they have
great French food there.

Tony and I are
going to Hawaii.

- Waikiki?
- Why not?

I've heard it's
really romantic.

We're going to the desert
for our honeymoon.

I love the beach.
He hates the ocean.

Wait a minute.

How could Tony take me
on a honeymoon with both of you?

What kind
of fantasy is this?

All: It's him. It's Tony!

He's come for his bride.

I'm sorry.
I can't marry you.

I'll be leaving soon.
I'm only a substitute teacher.

Well,
then who will we marry?

Guess who?

I never thought
Tony might leave us.

You never think
when you're in love.

It seems Ms. Simpson
took a turn for the worse,

she didn't show up today.
So we had to come up with a plan.

Her name is Vicki.
She's an actress.

Where's my money?

A professional actress.

You might remember her
as the third pepperoni

on the dancing pizza
commercial.

I love your work.

Here's the money.

All of the guys in Mr. Crane's
classes chipped in.

Thank you.

Okay, Vicki, now the bell's
going to ring any minute.

The most handsome hunk
you've ever seen

is going to come walking
around that corner.

You just stop him in the hall
and play the scene we rehearsed.

Got it.

Now don't let
him get away,

because the girls are going
to be coming from gym class

and they have to see
you and him together.

- I understand.
- And you remember your cue?

When you guys say
hello and wave to him,

I come running
into the hallway.

Right.

Hello, boys.

- Hello!
- Both: No!

Darling, there you are.

Oh, my love.

I could not wait
until June.

I took the first plane in from Rome.
Let's get married today.

June? Rome?
Married?

Excuse me, but boy have
you got the wrong man.

The wrong man?

Darling, don't
joke with me.

How could there be two men
as beautiful as are you?

I know it's hard to believe.
But it must be true.

Please, I can't
wait another day

to become
Mrs. Tony Crane.

Tony Crane?

Mr. Crane, do you have
an explanation for this?

Oh no. I got the wrong guy?

That's right.
The wrong guy.

I should have known
this wasn't the handsome hunk.

All right, everybody
get where you were going

before I start handing
out detention.

Go, go, go!

Mr. Crane, do you have
an explanation for this?

If you give me a few minutes
Mr. Belding, I think I will.

Fine. I'll meet
you in my office.

Well, if you ever
need an actress, call me.

Gotta run.
Linguini commercial.

Okay, will the occupants

of lockers 140,

142 and 144
please come out?

Okay, guys.

What did I do to deserve
this performance?

Mr. Crane, ever since you came here,
the girls act like we don't exist.

Yeah, they keep on telling us
you're this sophisticated man

and we're nothing but kids.

So we thought if we could make them
think you were engaged,

then maybe they'd forget about you
and remember us.

Sounded like a good plan.

Yeah, but we should've hired
an actress with hallway experience.

You know, guys,

I really have no intention
of taking your girls from you.

I'm sorry if my coming here
has caused you problems,

but what do you want me
to do, give up teaching?

- Would you?
- No.

But I do understand
how you feel.

I just don't think that
trying to embarrass me

is the solution
to your problem.

You're right.

- Okay, we're sorry.
- Yeah.

Okay. Why don't you go
ahead into class?

I gotta smooth this over
with Belding.

- All right. Thanks, Mr. Crane.
- Yeah, thanks.

Just stay away
from our mothers.

Mr. Crane!
Sorry we're late,

but the field hockey game
went into sudden death.

- I scored the winning goal.
- Listen, no problem.

Why don't you just go into class?
I'll be right there.

He touched me!
I told you he liked me best.

Oh, yeah right.

I wonder why Tony
wanted to meet us here.

Maybe he couldn't hide his
true feelings any longer.

Jessie, you really think
he's in love with all three of us?

Well, maybe
just one of us.

This is the happiest
day of my life.

I want you both to be
my bridesmaids.

Hey, not you, me!

You? It's me he loves.

When he looked at me
during the fire drill,

the smoke detectors went off.

Oh, yeah right.

Hey, chill out, ladies.

Look, the biggest moment
in one of our lives

is about to happen,
and we need to be alone.

So do you guys
mind leaving?

Well, sorry. Mr. Crane told us
to meet him here after class.

- Why would he want you here?
- He didn't tell us.

How sweet.
Ushers for our wedding.

Could you boys
sit over there?

Slater: Boys?

Here he comes!

Right in here, darling.

This is the place where
all the kids hang out.

It's cute.

Here are three of the guys
I've been teaching.

Guys, this is Vicki,
my fianc�e.

Pleased to meet you.

Um, same here.

What a coincidence.

She really is his fianc�e.

And honey,

these are three of the young ladies
I've been teaching.

Hello.

Are you in the same
grade as those guys?

- Yes.
- Really? You look so much younger.

Well, I just wanted Vicki
to meet some of my students.

Ms. Simpson will be back on Monday,
so this was my last day.

"O, that a joy past joy
calls out on me,

that it were a grief,
so brief to part with thee. "

Goodbye, Mr. Crane!

One, two, three... girls!

So what did you think
of Mr. Crane's fianc�e?

She was attractive,
if you like that exotic type.

You think so? I think all three
of you are much better looking.

Oh, yeah.
No contest.

Why don't you
guys sit down?

Hey, I was going
to sit there.

Tough luck, Preppie.
The truce is over.

Hey, Max.

What can I get
for you Lisa?

You can get lost.

All right, we're back to normal! I'd
like to get lost...

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