Original subtitles

Creep.

Indian chicks have got no chill, man!

What the fuck did you do?

What the fuck did I do to deserve this?

You know, everyone is here for a reason.

Some are here to study and others, to date.

Someone wants a wife.

But I want WiFi.

Because the internet speed in Jaipur is slower than these dimwits.

I wish I was back home, in California, bro.

I'd open for gigs in Moe's,

chill at Ryan's party, chat up with Phoebe from computer science.

That's what summer is.

This is not summer, this is suffer.

-Hello! -Hello. Hello.

There's a line. We've been waiting for an hour.

I've been waiting a long time, too.

Where were you? Where?

-Her again? -Here, in line.

-That's the line. -What's her problem?

I have to tolerate these psychos for three months.

-We've been here for an hour. -Fuck my life.

Mental note: Stay away from her.

She is bad news.

-Wait! This is not about girls. -Hey!

-You're bothering her. -Don't talk about feminism.

What do you mean? There are rules...

I swear to God, this feels like an extended episode of Man vs. Wild.

And the entire credit goes to...

MOM CALLING...

-Hey, Mom. -Harsh.

What is this three-month course thing?

You don't seem to care about your studies when you're here.

Please be more understanding, son.

Your grandparents are not going to be around forever.

-You must spend quality time with them. -Yeah, Mom.

Every quality second I spend away from them shatters my soul.

Does Grandpa need me? Every day he asks me to fix his Tata Sky Dish.

Up. A little more...

-This way? -Down, a little...

Down? That's...

-Okay. -A little bit more.

Grandpa, I don't think it works that way. I gotta be honest.

Grandma loves me so much, every day she has a new name for me.

-Himesh, dear... -Harsh.

Show your handwriting to Anju.

When he was in third grade, there was a handwriting competition,

and he won second place.

-He is our gem! Hiren. -Harsh.

Take a look...

Seriously, what have you gotten me into, Mom?

I don't know. It's not very cool, bro.

It's like I'm in an escape room with no escape.

That's why I have to go to that shit-hole institute.

At least I can download some educational videos there.

Just me and my teacher, Miss Mia Malkova.

My beloved!

I have a small house.

My elderly grandmother resides there.

Would you like to marry her grandson?

Yes. Yes.

Yes!

O Lord of the Universe! Mighty Lord of the Universe!

Rishi!

Did you meet Dimple?

Now you're laughing at me, too, Grandma.

Grandma! The coffee date went pretty well. Her family will definitely accept him.

Grandma, her parents will call you very soon,

saying "We have rejected your grandson."

Dear...

You started flirting with her without introducing yourself.

But she must have seen my photo, Grandma.

You look a lot more handsome than you do in your photo.

Let her calm down today.

Start all over again tomorrow.

Okay. I will try again tomorrow.

Rishi?

Did you like Dimple?

Do you use coconut shampoo?

Yeah?

It's lovely, I'm allergic.

What?

Talk to her.

-Sorry, we got off on the wrong foot-- -What is your problem?

I'm Rishi.

I mean, that's not my problem. That's my name. Rishi.

Rishi Singh.

So?

Rishi Singh Shekhawat!

Aren't you Dimple Ahuja?

How do you know my name?

-Are you stalking me? -No, your mom...

She set us up.

To become your future wife?

You didn't know?

You didn't know.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

Hello.

Hi.

Myself 41.

Zeenat.

Myself Zeenat Karim.

Pleased to meet you, Karim.

Myself 36.

You must be nervous, too?

Among all these children...

No.

They should be nervous.

Sid, sir, may I take this opportunity to get your autograph, please?

Where did you get this? Even I don't have this.

Sir, this is the very first edition.

I am your biggest fan. Very big fan, sir.

-What's your name? -I'm Mohit Mohan Mohite, sir. Momo.

I think I'll keep this.

Thank you very much.

Are you a celebrity?

Here, I am.

Guys.

My name is Siddharth Sinha. Sid.

MOM - Mummy, pick up the phone. Mummyyy!!!

The world's biggest tech company is Apple.

-Is he our teacher? -Yes.

There was once somebody who owned 150,000 shares of Apple.

Someone that you'll never expect.

-Who was that? -Sir.

-Ahuja, right? -Yes, sir.

Sir, Apple almost went bankrupt in 1997.

That's when someone gave 150 million dollars--

Ahuja.

The name, not the story.

Sir.

Bill Gates.

Bill Gates. Microsoft saves its biggest competitor.

What did you learn, Katyal?

-That the competition should be healthy. -Exactly.

Over the next three months, I will pair you up in teams of two,

and each team will make an app.

In the end, the team with the best app...

will get a really cool internship.

-Excited? -Yes, sir.

Hey, Agarwal!

Hi!

-Hi! -Welcome.

-Thank you. -I have heard that

quite a few people are downloading naughty stuff on college Wi-Fi.

Missing America way too much?

But you know what? You can get ahead of everyone.

By watching porn?

Yeah.

You guys know, right?

Porn is one of the biggest contributors to the success of internet.

Video streaming began with porn.

Online transactions also began with porn.

That's because sex drives the entire human race, sir.

What? I don't agree.

Sir, I don't think it's because of the adult film industry.

I think progress happens when we see a problem not as a problem

but as an opportunity.

We have a Nandini Nahata fangirl in the class.

Ahuja, even I have seen Nandini Nahata's TED Talks.

-To be honest, they're very helpful. -Yeah.

When I can't sleep, I put one on. It puts me to sleep in no time.

Okay, everyone has their app idea ready?

-Who wants to entertain me first? -Sir!

Ramaswamy.

Visualize your app.

Sir, this is a dating app where you will have to impress a girl.

But in 140 characters or less.

Basically the combination of Twitter and Tinder, Twinder.

Let me demonstrate.

Ms. Shahana, I am a very progressive guy.

I am fully feminist towards females.

I'm also a gentle lover.

Most important thing about me is that I...

-Rejected. -Sir...

Did the girl reject me or did you reject the app?

Both.

-Twinder. -Twinder.

Next?

-Sir, I've got an app. -Tamang!

Pandu!

It's basically a really cool app that tells you where the cops are.

In case you're driving to plan drunk.

Pandu on the right. Please take left.

Hey, Tamang! What if the app says go left, but you're too drunk and you go right?

Should I fine you for a bad idea?

You guys can leave now.

Explore Jaipur.

Do whatever.

And come back with a photo.

It better not be a selfie.

A photo that shows me, that tells me who you are.

Find yourself here.

And who knows?

Something might just click.

And, yeah...

Don't take it lightly.

Because on the basis of your photographs,

I will make the teams.

And these teams will work together for three months.

Sid has given us the full day.

Come, I will show you Jaipur through video call.

Right now, this is my nap time.

I'll go in the evening. I'll take photos that are so fantastic,

Sid will give me a scholarship first, then an internship,

and, in the future, a 49-51 partnership.

Awesome! Here you go, Harsh Agarwal. Welcome to 45 degrees Celsius.

-One-fifty rupees, sir. -One-fifty is a lot, man.

Mr. Naughty America, hub of porn!

Twenty degrees Celsius. Much better.

Poor man's Vincent Chase. Hurry up.

At least you will be cool mentally.

Thank you.

Not such a bad start to the course, I guess.

Dimple!

Dimple!

Can I come with you?

I hope you don't mind.

-Sure. -Is tripling okay with you?

Your boobies feeling me Her boobies feeling you

Shut up. Okay, let's go.

Rishi, look!

Namrata, this is a bad idea. Please leave her alone.

They're our guests in Rajasthan, Rishi.

So? You want to sing them the state song?

Please, this is a very bad idea.

Hey, guys! Hi!

Shall we work together?

Perf!

Come in.

Yes, it is too hot, isn't it? Let me powder my face.

By the way, what do we have to do? It wasn't clear to me.

Where should we find ourselves?

Zeenat, it's Jaipur. We have the whole day.

Let's drive around. We'll find something.

Bub, if our pictures are similar, then Sid will have to put us together, okay?

Why is it not moving its tail?

It's not his tail, it's feathers.

Whatever it is, why's it not doing its thing?

You know, they spread their feathers like that to attract peahens.

What if he's into pea-cocks?

Hey, listen, I have an idea.

More, more, more.

The person you're calling is not answering.

Dimple, water?

No, thanks.

Something is troubling her, isn't it?

Me. I am the problem.

The person you're calling is not answering.

Dimple.

You okay?

Yeah.

Listen. Once again, I'm really sorry.

-I didn't know-- -Don't apologize.

Those who should be sorry aren't answering the phone.

You've also been cheated.

My mother should say sorry to you, too.

"Get married. How will you get married? When will it happen?"

She should've gotten married again if she was so keen.

This has been going on in my house for 17 years.

On loop.

Because if you are a girl, you can't have any other dream except marriage.

Why do you need to study? You aren't allowed to have ambitions.

You turned 18? "Very good, dear. Get ready." What for?

"You have three options. Marriage, marriage, and marriage."

You know, I was so happy...

when my mom gave me the permission to join the course.

I thought, finally she understands.

She's trying.

Clearly not.

"Understand the family. Find yourself in Jaipur."

Life feels like a bunch of fuckin' assignments, man.

You know what? This is who I am.

A fucking penguin in India.

To be honest, it's a ridiculous assignment.

I mean, come on! Find yourself in one day!

There are 40, 50-year-olds out there who are still finding themselves.

They are starting the second innings of their lives.

And we... We are just 18 years old.

Eighteen fuckin' years old, man!

We're restless, we're selfish, we're grade-A assholes.

-Come here. -That's who we are.

Smile!

Do it!

What a stupid assignment. What do we look for if we don't have a clue?

Do you want to eat something?

I can't stop.

My assignment should be the best.

You eat if you want to.

No, it's okay. Mine isn't done yet, either.

-Yours is easy. -Is it?

Take a photo of this wedding dress.

You like getting married, don't you?

What do you mean? That isn't a hobby.

I know.

Put vermilion on someone's forehead and take a photo.

Kill two birds with one stone.

"How would you know the value of vermilion, Dimpia?"

Yuck!

Hey, I got my idea. Let's go.

Let's go! Please come.

-Where? -Come!

Rishi!

What are you doing?

Do you mind? You're blocking my view.

I've paid good money to watch this.

Sorry!

You're so obsessed with movies.

What is this?

Sweet curd.

It is famous in Jaipur.

Okay, I didn't know.

I'll eat after the assignment.

If sweet curd stays out too long, it may get spoiled.

So let's not stay out for long.

Let's go.

The view is good. The light is good.

What are we waiting for?

I want to take a photo of it in flight.

I get it.

So you're one of those birds who now has wings.

-That's cool. Shall I help you? -No.

I want to do it myself. It's my assignment.

-Okay, let me make it fly. -No!

Photography is about capturing the moment,

not creating the moment.

Fine, I was just trying to help.

Seems like they don't want to fly. They're pretty comfortable.

Just like you.

What do you mean?

No. I mean...

You must have gotten everything in life comfortably.

Perfect business, perfect family, perfect parents, perfect life...

You got everything without trying.

Yeah, I do have a perfect life.

Perfect family, perfect parents.

You're right.

Do you see that white bird?

Perched at a distance.

That's you?

No.

What is it called?

That's a crane.

Crane.

It is common here.

Want some sweet curd?

Nice.

The team is Malhotra and Karim.

Laugh all you like.

Let's see who you get paired with.

Any app ideas?

Yes, sir.

The Zombie Race.

This is an app which has zombies, of course.

You need to run, too, but there's a twist.

You don't run away from zombies.

The player is the zombie, and he is running away from humans.

After all, humans are awful.

-Rejected. -What?

It's Temple Run with zombies.

Really original.

Karim, app idea.

Sir, she has nothing to offer.

Actually, I did have an idea.

Yes...

These modern kids...

use so many short forms,

which I completely fail to understand.

Perf, AF...

Bullshit.

That's why I thought... If I am wrong, I'm sorry, sir.

But I thought...

if I create a dictionary app,

then people born in the '70s, like us, can talk like millennials.

Shut her mouth, man.

Finally a good idea.

Well done, Karim.

You don't need to be scared at all.

All right, let's find our team number nine.

Katyal...

and Matthews.

But why, sir?

The contrast.

Yeah, but our goals and sensibilities should also match.

I mean, you can't just pair him with anybody.

-The similarities, sir. -Yes, of course.

You've made a very good point.

Let me show you the photo you took. This.

-Right? Very nice. -Yes.

And this is the photo that Momo took.

-What the... -Similarities.

You stole... Sir, he stole my picture.

I clicked it. It's on my Instagram. I can show it to you.

Yeah.

What are the odds? Momo decides to steal a picture off the internet

and it happens to be from your Instagram?

What can I do? This is... This match is made in heaven.

I now pronounce you team number ten.

Are you fucking stupid?

Same pinch!

Sir, can I please share my idea?

Sure.

This gentleman has diabetes.

And this lady, his wife...

Say hello.

-Hi. -Cute.

This lady is going to install our app on his smartwatch.

When his blood sugar level rises...

-Warning! -...aunty will know.

Sir, this app will make people hypochondriacs.

-It's not good! -Ahuja.

Speak when you're spoken to.

Matthews, any app ideas?

I really don't have an idea, I don't know--

-Matthews. -Sir, I'll go with Krish's.

Team number 11.

Ahuja...

and...

Agarwal.

Sorry, Shekhawat. Couldn't pair you with your wife.

Future wife.

So the class' Little Ms. Know-It-All...

Meet your partner, Mr. Naughty America.

I am 100% sure that you don't have any app ideas.

But I'm 500% sure...

she has at least one app idea.

Sir, I have an idea for an app and what to call it.

-May I? -Sure.

So, Wishlist is basically a life coach app,

which will make a flowchart of your success.

Okay.

So that you can easily follow in the footsteps of your real-life idol.

For example, my real-life idol is Nandini Nahata.

Master's degree when I'm 21.

At 26, a deal worth 50 million for my first start up.

Dollars, not rupees.

And then many, many, many TED Talks later,

at the age of 29, my first Forbes' "30 Under 30" cover.

Full marks for effort.

Zero for idea. Rejected.

-Sir, I don't think you got the idea. -Your idea is ridiculous.

You think your app can make Tamang into Elon Musk?

Also, sir, "Wishlist" is the wrong name for the app.

What about "Copycat"?

Ahuja, change your idol.

Also, why don't you just make an app for future wives?

Future housewives.

Enough.

That leaves us with Bidasaria and Shekhawat. You're team number 12.

Sir, it's a unique dating app which uses

different parameters to check compatibility between two people.

Check the compatibility--

-Sir, should I continue? -Yeah, yeah, sure.

Hello?

Dimple!

Sorry, dear, just saw your missed call.

You know what happened today? I got locked in the bathroom.

Mom, can you stop lying for once?

What happened?

I had one wish. But you had to try to turn this place into a marriage bureau.

It's not like that. I was just thinking that,

along with your studies, you could get acquainted with people.

-She's very angry. -Hold on.

-Talk to her. -You talk.

-Darling, calm down. -Papa, you know,

I can't tolerate lies.

I expected it from Mom, but I didn't think that you would play games.

Dear, I'm not playing any games.

-I-- -I don't want to talk to you,

not to you or to Mom. Please don't call me.

My dear, Dimple--

Please don't make me the referee in your games.

Lesson learnt. You can be super prepared and life can still surprise you.

You might think your plan is clear.

But then realize your plan was nothing but a sham.

Listen, let me make this clear:

If you are not interested in this course, please sit in your room and watch porn.

I have come here to be top of the class.

And I can do it alone. I don't need you.

Okay, that's great. Thank you. I appreciate that.

Having said that, I did, however, have an idea for our group

if you were interested in listening.

How about we make a meditation app

for hyper-aggressive chicks who like to throw coffee on guys?

Only she was destined to be my partner in the entire course!

One more time, mental note, keep safe distance.

Listen, I gotta bounce. I'll see you later, bye.

Overall, there are plenty of chill scenes.

Not weather-wise, but otherwise.

I thought I'd be all alone here, but guess what?

I've made some chill friends, learned some new cuss words.

'Sup, bastards?

It can't be compared to California,

but I have a feeling that Jaipur's summer is gonna surprise me, in a good way.

She's here. Give me two minutes.

Hi.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm great.

What will happen to me?

What are you still doing here?

The wedding plan is already cancelled.

So now, you can fuck off.

I think there's gonna be a lot of drama this summer.

So I'm gonna keep my popcorn ready.

-What the fuck is wrong with her? -I really don't know, man.

Subtitle translation by Achala Yasin