Original subtitles

You see this magnificent building? We are both quite similar.

This is a 103-year-old school. That means, an old school.

And I am that guy who believes in romance from the '60s. So, pretty old school.

No Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, etc.

Not screen to screen, but face to face romance.

Today, that same romance has brought me here.

I am not here to study.

I'm here for Dimple.

When I saw Dimple for the first time, I heard violins in the background.

Not just butterflies, I felt the entire zoo in my stomach.

I'll tell you all the details later. First, let me find her.

She might also be looking for me here. I want to find her before she finds me.

Ma'am, is there a girl by the name of Dimple Ahuja?

-Who? -Dimple Ahuja.

How would I know?

What does she look like?

Yeah... she has a roundish face, she wears round glasses with black frames.

Yeah, that one. She has just left with her roommate,

who is a very strange creature. She has purple hair!

They must've gone for a class.

By the way, this is Namrata. My best friend for the last 14 years.

People think of us as Rahul and Anjali,

but actually, we are like Akash and Sid from Dil Chahta Hai.

We don't have a scene like this one.

As you can tell, I am obsessed with movies.

My life is very normal,

but I have a feeling it's about to get dramatic, because...

Do you mind?

Sorry, we were just looking for his wife.

Sorry.

-Are you mad? Saying random things... -Sorry, Rishi.

She is not here. Where will we find her? Do we have to search more places?

-Hey! You have a death wish? -Rishi!

-Sorry. -One second, why are you apologizing?

Madam, what kind of girl are you? This is a campus road. Ride slow.

Exactly. It's a road. Not a footpath.

Then why didn't you honk?

Here. I honked.

Okay, guys, please stop it. We are looking for the library, can you help us?

-The library? -Yes, the library.

Who even goes to the library these days?

Trust me, the parking lot is a better spot, guys.

Enjoy yourselves. Bye-bye.

-Hey, purple hair! -Dimple's roommate.

Ma'am, sorry, sorry. Ma'am, sorry.

We are looking for Dimple Ahuja. Do you know her? Where she might be?

One in hand, one in bush! Quite the player you are.

-No... -She is in the canteen.

Canteen.

-Rishi. -Is this her?

If you subtract today, then we'll be back together in 89 days.

-You think she'll wait? -Maybe.

-I think she'll wait. -...must call me.

Don't forget that Momo set you up. Momo himself.

-Momo, sir... -Look. A new business is booming.

Guys, I need to up the style game for these Jaipur kids

'cause it's not the style that...

I kinda really like your hair.

You know what you should do? Messy hair quiff would really suit you.

By the way, I am Simran @Iamshimmering. You can follow me on Instagram.

Hey, Krish, say hi to my followers. And that's my cousin, Anmol.

-Krish, say hi. Come on. -Hey guys, how's it going?

-Did you go to China to get this, asshole? -So mean.

Of course, every college has a group like this. Rowdy.

Why are they so uptight?

Namrata...

-Is this her? -Congratulations, Rishi.

-What should I do? -What do you mean? Go.

So, are we ready...

to begin an old school guy's new story in this old school?

Hello, future wife.

Dimple.

Dimple, hurry up! Ritu aunty is about to arrive.

And get ready nicely, okay?

I left a light pink blush on your table.

Use that as well. It will look nice.

Just a minute.

What is this?

-Are you ready? -Okay, smile.

Yes, okay.

Isn't the light a bit dim? Her face looks extremely dark.

I mean, she uses fairness creams, but they are no good.

Don't worry, ma'am.

Dimple, Soniya aunty was telling me that very good-looking boys will be there.

Handsome, well-settled.

Some of them are intelligent, too, like you.

She was saying one of them runs a start-up in Bangalore.

He has an eight-story office.

Dimple.

I almost forgot. Use the strawberry perfume I left in your room.

And don't wear your glasses. Wear contact lenses instead.

Mister, you don't understand.

If you put a light on top, her face will light up.

Everything will be okay.

-Otherwise, she will look dark. -Click now.

Hurry up, my dear.

If you take this long now, then what'll you do at your wedding?

Does this look fine, Mom? Or should I apply more make-up?

Simple. Simple.

These drawstrings...

are tangled.

Will this girl ever listen to me?

I wonder if her problem is with me or the make-up.

Hold it. When I was her age, I used to yearn for lipstick.

We've bought you so many!

Five thousand?

If things don't change, she won't find a good match.

Then nothing will work. Neither Shaadi.com nor OkCupid or Bumble.

I am 17 years old. If I get married, you both will be imprisoned.

If we start now, then you will find someone by 21.

In any case, there are few boys with high IQs like yours.

Plus, you wear glasses like your dad.

Does my life have no value without a boy?

All day long, you only talk about my appearance.

Maybe try talking about my brain.

About my ambitions, my future. I want to study Java.

I want to do a PhD and make apps. One day, like Nandini Nahata--

My dear, how much money should we give?

At your sister's wedding,

-they gave 501 rupees. -Yes.

Why do we talk if you don't want to listen to me?

Do you ever listen to me? It takes two to tango.

Your daughter is impossible. I'm so embarrassed.

Relax, Mom. I'm not embarrassed of myself.

Don't you dare step out of the house looking like that.

Go back to your room.

Thank you!

Now you forget about this Java, C++. We won't allow anything.

-Dad, you said-- -Dear, I--

Now please, don't you add to it.

Dad, we spoke about this.

Come here.

Look, only one in a million becomes a Steve Jobs.

At most, three or four become like Bill Gates.

The rest open a cyber cafe around here, like Mr. Cheema's son, right?

You can also open one after you get married. Dimple Cyber.

We have saved up money...

You didn't use the strawberry perfume?

-Did you use your father's deodorant? -So--

-You used your father's deodorant! -Oh, God, Mom!

Dimple.

Mrs. Chawla who lives around the corner...

Mr. Cheema has been talking to her a lot.

-For real? -Of course!

Here comes our darling daughter.

-Hello, aunty. -Hello, my dear.

-Hi, Seema. -Why aren't you coming to the party?

She is very shy.

Not really--

Her blouse feels a bit tight as well.

At this age, it's good if it's tight.

I had ordered something for you from the new home-delivery app.

It is very healthy. I will go get it.

Hello. Yes?

Yes, I am a part of that WhatsApp group.

Okay.

No, we are from Ambala.

Okay, Jaipur.

Tell me the truth, why aren't you going?

-Aunty, I... -Are you studying a lot?

I tell Seema to take up some courses,

but no, she only wants to graduate in Femina.

-Mom, it is Vogue. -Yeah, the same thing.

You tell me, what is your plan ahead?

I have taken some exams and am waiting for the results.

Yeah, your dad did mention something about a three to four-month course.

He remembers that?

He doesn't forget a thing you say.

Yes, there is a course in Jaipur for making apps,

and I was offered admission, but...

-But? -Here you go.

I ordered mango milkshakes.

Please take. It is very healthy.

Actually, aunty, mango milkshakes have a ton of calories.

Simple, what is she saying? She was offered admission.

You got through? You didn't tell us.

Why should I tell you? You just told me that...

I received the mail this morning.

The course will begin in Jaipur in a week's time.

-Hello, Mr. Ahuja. -Hello.

Dimple got admitted to the course she applied to in Jaipur.

I've said she can go. The rest is up to you.

Me?

Dad, can I go?

Of course.

When do we have to pay the fees?

Thank you, Dad! Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much.

Thanks, Mom.

Grandma, this is not needed. I'm ready.

I hope I am not forcing you.

Absolutely not, Grandma. You and Grandpa were my age when you met.

I was 17. He was 20.

It was a different time. People got married early back then.

Then you were together for 52 years.

We were happy for 52 years.

We got married when we were young, so we grew up together,

grew old together.

We could understand each other well.

You don't have to explain.

I am 18, and I am making my own decisions.

In any case, you won't get married tomorrow.

You should marry someone after knowing them for two to three years.

Correct.

It is a non-religious group, religion no bar.

PAN India group, location no bar.

Wait and watch, pictures will pour in now.

Let's see.

No, Grandma.

How is this one?

Grandma, can I get her number?

Take it for me.

Grandma is your living, breathing, Tinder account.

No, it's not funny.

And getting married at this age...

Dada.

You know, you really are a weird 35-year-old teenager.

Listen, shut up, okay? I just don't wanna be like Dad, neither should you.

Dad's new summer fling.

Didn't I tell you not to get too attached to the last one?

Why doesn't Ashish take care of the family business, Rishi?

Because he wants to focus on swimming.

And what about your animation?

What about it? That's just a hobby.

Why don't you two get together? It'll make my work so easy.

Okay, we will.

Really?

-No. -No, Grandma, please.

Getting married at this age is weird, I know,

but my grandparents also married at a young age,

And I want my marriage to be perfect like theirs.

Not like Mom and Dad's love marriage at 30.

Grandma, hold on a second.

When I saw her for the first time, I was blown away...

because that photo and the girl both looked so natural.

She didn't need any filters.

This one?

Her smile was more than enough.

Yes, I will speak to him right away. Bye.

Dimple's parents are sending her to Jaipur for three months.

Really?

She is taking a computer course there, and can meet you on Sundays.

Hopefully, you both will get to know each other well.

The rest is up to the Almighty.

Dear, why don't you also do that computer course?

You will get to spend more time together.

Grandma, I'd have to commute daily.

Jaipur is only an hour's drive away.

Or... why don't you stay in a hostel over there?

Just come and meet your grandma on the weekends.

Okay.

I will just call her up.

The bus leaving for Jaipur is...

-Is everything okay? -Yes.

Darling, if you need money, don't hesitate to ask me.

But according to middle-class standards.

Okay, I don't want to miss the bus. Can I leave?

Yes, go.

-Take care of yourself. -Bye, Dad.

And... call every day.

She is leaving for three months. She is not getting married.

Okay, come here.

When anything goes wrong

No, no. Bye-bye.

When you find yourself in trouble...

I will shove your screensaver up your ass. Take this!

-Sorry, sir. -Meet me IRL.

I'll kick your ass so bad that you'll limp like an injured dog.

You fucking asshole! Motherfucker!

No matter how big your balls grow, they remain below your dick--

It's not me! It's not mine.

In front of the poster.

Sorry?

A bit to the side. The poster should be visible, too.

This will go on the hostel's website.

Yes. Now give me a big smile.

-Do you have lipstick? -No.

Then bite your lips. This has to go on the website.

Okay, ready?

It isn't working. You should look happy.

Okay, smile a bit. Smile.

Yeah. A bit more. Smile like this is your wedding.

And has my roommate arrived?

She arrived a while ago. Go meet her.

She is not of the human species.

Hi!

Hi!

-Nice music. -No need to be sweet and all, bro.

Use your headphones if you don't like it.

I'm sure you have those high-quality,

noise cancellation types for your games. Dimple No Damsel.

How do you know?

Stalked you. I should know if my roommate is cool or a loser.

That's your side, obviously.

You should do something about your hair.

For a gamer chick, this look is too Disney.

If hair made you a good gamer, then you'd be India's best.

How do you know I'm not?

Because I stalked you, too.

One should know if their roommate is cool or a loser.

Feisty!

Feisty, I like you.

I am really hungry. Wanna grab a bite?

-Yeah, I'll get my wallet. -Cool.

Listen, I have to go. It's really urgent.

I'm very sorry, but you go to the canteen, the food there is really yummy.

Too delicious. Gorge on it. And the gulab jamun is awesome.

Toodle-oo.

So, I'll head to the canteen...

Okay.

Look, all students call me Kaku. You should, too.

But, Kaku Jaan, everyone here is 17 to 18 years old.

They're almost half my age.

So what? You are also a student.

Speak softly, Kaku Jaan. Someone might hear that.

Let them know. Aren't we all students...

hoping to get points from the Almighty in the examination called life?

Sorry. Are you in the app development course?

-Yes. -Me, too.

It's the first time that I've left my hometown and come to a new city.

Me, too.

So you... Sorry, can I address you informally?

-Sure, yes. -So which room are you staying in?

I am not staying at the hostel.

I stay in a rented house nearby.

I'm staying at the hostel, room no. 25. If you need anything, please ask.

-Thank you very much. -I am Dimple, by the way.

-Zeenat. -Hi, Zeenat.

-Ms. Zeenat, this is for you. -Yes?

Thank you, Kaku Jaan.

-I'll see you later. -Okay.

Bye.

You look like a good kid.

My mother wouldn't agree with you.

What would you like? You see, our canteen's cold coffee

is famous in the whole universe.

-Would you like that? -Then, of course, yes.

I'll be right back.

This campus is beautiful, guys. You have to visit. Oh, my God!

Look at that face for example.

Okay, in my next YouTube video,

I'm gonna tell you how to conceal those annoying dark circles

-because it kind of lows your face a lot. -Bro.

It's like two really tiny hard dicks.

-Who is Hardik? -Not Hardik, hard dick.

Hey!

You are Anmol Malhotra, right?

Hi, I am a big fan. I mean, I play League of Legends,

and I am a huge fan, not of your streaming, but of your gaming.

And I really didn't know, I am so sorry.

But, hey, respect. I am Dimple, by the way.

Do you want a selfie?

-Sorry? -For your Insta story?

Bro, I think you should get a picture with her.

At least people will look at you.

Are you guys from Delhi?

What do they think of themselves?

Why are they so uptight?

-Hi, guys. -Hi.

Is this seat taken?

Dimple Ahuja meets Rishi Singh Shekhawat.

This is a moment that I must remember.

This might just be the start of our happily ever after.

Hello, future wife!

Creep.

Indian chicks have got no chill, man.

What the fuck did you do?

Subtitle translation by Neha Hooda